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PHJin

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emobot-shard-2

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Oh, uh, listen, about tonight...

No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me.

The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.

Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a...

Pathetic mess?

I know, but—come on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable.

I'm thinkin', cha-ching!

Thanks.

Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice.

You're doin' this.

Hi. She said yes.

Yes! Way to go, man! Still got the egg, huh?

"Happy birthday to you!"

You’re paying for that.

What? No-no it’s her birthday!

You’ve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!

But it really

You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins.

Damnit!

Rach? Hi!

Hi!

Did you tell your sister to ask me out?

Well yeah

Oh wow!

I mean, wow!

I mean, I-I-I think she’s cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!

Really?!

Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"

Oh so-so not really never.

I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am.

I mean after all we’ve been through, I just—y’know I wish I had a brother to reciprocate.

Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.

Oh-ho, and mine!

No-no wait-wait! I can’t just let you hang up! Just please talk to me.

Well…I only have one thing to do today. I guess I could push it back.

Yeah! Now, why do you want to kill yourself?

It’s just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!

Chandler?

I-I’m sorry?

No look, I-I’m sure that people know you exist!

Oh yeah?

I work in a cubicle surrounded by people.

I’ve been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no one’s even looked up from their desk.

Hang-hang on.

Hey everybody!

Uh, I’m gonna kill myself!

I got nothing.

Apparently, there’s like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and there’s only this one robot and this one guy who controls it!

I didn’t know he could get me fired!

What am I going to do?

Well y’know Joey, you’re a pretty charming guy.

Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.

No sweetie, you’ve got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! You’ve got to kiss some serious robot ass!

That’s not a bad idea.

Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow I’m not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys.

Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs.

So do you think uh, Joey’s more charming than me?

Yeah! That’s why I’m sleeping with him on the side.

Yeah, you wish.

"You wish."

Why are you yelling?

Whoa, that

Whoa-whoa, what is it?

Well… It’s a date.

A date?!

No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldn’t schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!

Come on Joey, don’t make me feel badly about this.

No, I’m gonna!!

That’s right!

Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin’ out with that girl!

Like-like-like I did something terrible to you!

And now Pheebs, you’re doing the same thing!

That—It’s not the same thing! This is

Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!

She was?

Well, she graduated from high school!

Okay, whatever.

Y’know what?

I don’t have time to convince you because he’s only here for four hours, and I’m gonna go see him!

Fine!

Yeah!

Fine!

Yeah!

What are you still doin’ here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!

Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.

Hi.

Ross, you remember Susan.

How could I forget?

Ross.

Hello, Susan. Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?

Dr. Oberman.

..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-

She.

-she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?

Yes, and she's very supportive.

Okay, that's great. No, I'm- Oh.

Thanks.

Quack, quack..

Ross? That opens my cervix.

Barry?