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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Where mouse is told to be still

Or could be also titled where Omega tells mouse to shut up!

Not sure what happened, but mouse was very excited one day, it was as though someone had stuck a nickel in her and she was all wound-up. Oh how mouse wished she could blame it on a caffeine buzz but no such luck. In fact the opposite was true. While Omega was trying to read mouse continued to prattle on to anyone that would listen or even not listen. Finally Omega's patience had been worn down to a bare raw nub. He bellowed at mouse, "Be still." As he returned to his reading the mouse felt she'd been slapped. In a very disgruntled fashion she picked up a magazine and started loudly flipping through the pages.

He glanced up her and glared. Omega often doesn't need to actually open his mouth and talk, because truly a strong look of disapproval can send mouse scurrying into a corner. That was the look he gave to mouse. Quietly she tiptoed back to her spot on the sofa, and sat down. The quiet seemed excruciating at first. Deafening silence if often not mouse's friend. However, despite her best efforts, as she sat, she also found her calming. For the next several hours the mouse became lost in a churning sea of her own thoughts, her mind drifting with the ebb and flow of the tide. At last Omega stood and called mouse to him. Happily she bounced, bearing a large smile. Had he not explained that he had important things to read that afternoon? The mouse nodded demurely but her smile although a little smaller had not faded.

Why is it so difficult to just be quiet, Omega wanted to know, why must mouse push him to the point where he must demonstrate how serious he is? Of course mouse said nothing because he hadn't given her voice back. He searched with his eyes, bearing into her soul, and mouse silently prayed he could see contrition. His expression softened as he gently kissed mouse's forehead, and sent her into the kitchen to start dinner. But he hadn't given her voice back.

His mouse paused a moment, as if to see if there was anything more to say before doing as she was told.

Carefully she prepared the meal without saying a word (it's not as easy as it sounds) and served it. The whole evening his mouse remained quiet, still. When it was time for bed, he led her upstairs and observed as she went about her evening rituals. He climbed into bed, and mouse waited to be invited, which she was. But still no voice. Omega pulled her close and spoke softly to her, his velvety voice explaining to her why she must not speak. Over the past several weeks Omega had ignored things mouse had done, and had let many things slide. Nothing serious but felt her focus had shifted away from him just a little. Too familiar was the term he used.

In the morning with his coffee on his bedside table mouse began to wake her Master in the ritual he loves, and she found herself engulfed in that task; the pleasure of that bit of service. The smell of him, the taste, slowly overwhelmed her and how much better, she thought, this is without her voice. Omega sipped his coffee as mouse readied his things for his shower before departing to fix his breakfast.

The scent of him was present on her face, overwhelming the heavy scent of muffins in the oven. It distracted her as she prepared his eggs, and arranged them onto a plate. Omega came downstairs dressed,and she could feel him press himself against her back. His hands gripping her shoulders, and his breath in her ear. The mouse felt her knees go limp, and she struggled to get his plate on the table. It was then she realized she'd forgotten his fruit. His plate was incomplete without the fruit. With all the food groups present, mouse was finally able to relax a little as she refilled his coffee cup. Omega got up, thanked mouse for a lovely breakfast, and kissed her forehead lightly. Naturally mouse followed her Master to the door, and watched him cross the threshold. There he paused, returned mouse's voice to her by saying she could certainly speak during the day but in the evenings he liked her quiet. He quickly clarified, he didn't mind so much her speaking but she needed to be mindful and not to just prattle on so, about nothing. Throwing her arms around Master she promised harder to try.

After he left for work, she thought about her imposed silence. Why does being still work so well for her to shift the focus back onto him? It can't be easily explained away, but for whatever reason it does work and it works well.

I get it ... I really do ... being quiet is something that works for me too ... I'm not sure M makes me quiet like Omega does for you but when I am quiet my mind resets into the state it should be. It is amazing to me how my voice can get me into all sorts of trouble but sometimes the trouble is needed to refocus my attention on M.

I wish it worked for me... if it's just Asha and I it does. But when the Tornado is here my focus ends up shifting solely to her because of her constant need of attention for this and that. Then again, it ends up that way anyway. I suppose that's just part of having a young child. Should I be asking myself why I want more? LOL