Location: SF
Remote: Probably nah.
Willing to Relocate: Maybe, depending, but don't get your hopes up.
Technologies: Near-expert in Databases and SQL (very knowledgable about Oracle, have used and read source code for PostgreSQL, SQLite, HSQLDB, a bit of BerkeleyDB, interested in learning more about Cassandra. Have used MySQL but I know less about it), Java, Python, C++ (prefer Java), Jersey/Jackson/RESTFul APIs, physics data management (3PB+ currently), stream processing and interfacing with batch systems/supercomputers (LSF, PBS, DIRAC, Cray, etc...), modestly large event databases (Several TB), interested in ZooKeeper/distributed consensus (know ZooKeeper very well, was working on a true RESTful client for a bit as an alternative to etcd)
Other skills: machine shop, Photomultiplier tubes, electronics (great at soldering), general experience you'd get with research in experimental particle astrophysics. Have built and calibrated several types of Muon detectors. Messed around with GNURadio (USRP1) for a bit. Done stuff with LabView/GPIB and Matlab (would need to relearn). Obscure skills with NIM modules.
Current project at work is I've implemented a virtual file system for managing file replicas over REST. The FS is versioning with metadata indexing and a SQL-like search language for physics datasets (which could probably be used to implement something like AeroFS/Dropbox). It's meant to be high performance and potentially horizontally scalable as requests  5000 a second aren't uncommon in batch processing.
CV: I'd need to work on it. I've got a BS in Applied Physics, never took more than one CS class. Much of my CS experience is rooted in solving problems for physics and auditing CS courses at Stanford.
I'm not _necessarily_ looking to be hired, but I want to put out my feelers in case somebody is very interested in my diverse skills.
I don't want to work in: Social, payment/shop stuff, or generally for startups which enable consumption, be it materialistic, social, conspicuous, or otherwise. Don't want to build corporate tools either.
Ideally: Science related stuff.
Email: brian.nvk at the g mail.