Ayiti Nan Nouvèl Entènasyonal (blag)
Humour - Bèl Blag
(jiyè 2004)
Aristide ak fanmi l pi renmen Afrikdisid ke Repiblik Sant Afrikèn. Mbeki t ap tann yo nan èpòt. Ansyen lidè Lavalas la pral pibliye yon liv sou vwayaj politik resan l yo (ki kòmanse depi 29 fevriye 2004).
Seleksyon Brezil la ap rankontre sa Ayiti a lòt mwa nan Pòtoprens (jis yon match amikal). –Match sa a, ant 2 peyi yo, se youn nan estrateji premye minis lan pou dezame bandi Ayisyen ( “chimè” ak “konbatan pou lalibète”). Pele ka vin nan match sa a.
Prezidan Bush poko deside si l dwe ranplase Dick Cheney. Se yon koze trè pèsonèl! L ap tyeke papa l avan avèk premyè dam lan. Annatandan, nasyon an pa konnen kote Dick kache. Anpil Ayisyen te yon ti jan doute kanpay resan gouvènè Jeb Bush an(n) AYiti.
Nouvo liv Bill Clinton lan (“My life”) kontinye ap vale teren Ayiti apre piblikasyon l. Anpil moun te achte l pa erè paske yo panse liv la te kouvri anpil nan relasyon anmoure ant jèn entèn Mezon Blanch lan ak ansyen prezidan an. Liv sa a gen pou l tradui avan lontan nan lang ofisyèl Ayiti yo.
Anpil Ayisyen di Kerry ak Edwards ap pran lamayòl la an novanm. Pa paske yo g! en menm PRENON, men paske frè jimo sa yo pral batay pou travay ki peye pi byen epi yo pral batay tou pou konstwi yon lame ki pi dyanm epi fòme bonjan alyans; nan sans sa a, jèn Ayisyen-Ameriken p ap janm an danje.
Monica ap prezan nan Konvansyon Nasyonal Demokrat yo nan Boston, men li p ap pale sou relasyon amoure l (ni pase ni prezan). LI P AP PALE SOU SA MENM! L ap panse vizite Ayiti lòt ane pou l jwenn plis enspirasyon pou yon roman l ap travay sou li.
Pesonn poko gen yon ide kilès yo pral chwazi kòm prezidan Ayiti an 2005. Sa panike tout moun nan Premyè Repiblik Nwa a, enkli politisyen ki gentan kòmanse kanpay yo.
Saddam t ap kesyone jèn jij Irakyen an lotrejou kote l t ap envestige sou otorite l avèk estati legal msye (kesyon tankou: kilès ou fwenk ye? Kijan w fwenk rele? Kilès ki fwenk mete w la a? Poukisa w ap fwenk travay pou enfidèl ki te anvayi Irak yo?... yon dal kesyon). Irakyen yo rele jijman sa a “Jijman syèk la" paske se yon bagay yo pa ka kwè sa; pou yo menm, se tankou yon fim Irakyen yo ap gade sou gwo ekran. Ji! jman sa a ka dire lontan pandan ke ansyen lidè a ap eseye jwenn avoka nan peyi etranje. Hollywood pral gen yon fim sou koze istorik sa a. Saddam di l toujou rete prezidan legal Irak menmsi l pa gen pouvwa. Ayiti p ap voye twoup li yo an(n) Irak.
Haiti In the International News
Aristide and his family love South Africa better than Republic Centre Africaine. Mbeki was waiting for them at the airport. The former Laval Ass leader will soon publish a book on his latest political trips (starting February 29 2004).
Brazil's National Soccer Team will soon face Haiti's one next month in Port-au-Prince (just a friendly match) – The game between the two countries is one of prime minister The Turtle's strategies to disarm Haitian bandits (both “chimères” and “combatants pour la liberté”). Pele may attend this match.
Bush has not made up his mind yet whether or not he should replace Dick Cheney. That's very personal! He is first checking with his Dad and the first lady. While waiting, the nation still doesn't know the whereabouts of Dick. Many Haitians were a little bit skeptical about Governor Jeb's recent campaign in Haiti.
Clinton's new book (“My lif”) continues to make news in Haiti after its recent release. Most people have bought it by mistake ‘cause they thought it covers a great deal of his love affair with the young white house intern. The book will be soon translated to Haiti's official languages.
Most Haitians say Kerry and Edwards will win in November. Not because they have the same FIRST NAME, but because the twin brothers will be fighting for good paying jobs and they we'll be fighting to build a strong military and lead strong alliances, so young Haitian-Americans are never put in harm's way.
Monica will attend the National Democratic Convention in Boston but she will not talk about her past and present affairs. NOT AT ALL! She's thinking of visiting Haiti next year to get more inspiration for a novel she's been working on.
No idea yet who they will choose to be the next president of Haiti. That panics everyone in the First Independent Black Nation, including politicians who have started early campaigns.
Saddam was questioning the young Iraqi judge by investigating his authority and his legal status (questions such as: who the hell are you? What's your name? Who dares put you there? Why the hell you're working for the infidels who have invaded Iraq?... a bunch of questions). Iraqis call it “The trial of the century" because they still can't believe it; for them it's like an Iraqi movie on the big screen. The trial may last long while the ex-leader is trying to get lawyers from abroad. Hollywood will have a movie dealing with this historical event. Saddam said he's still the legal president of Iraq though he has no power. Haiti won't send its troops to Iraq.