Mad Dog and I have returned from our annual kid-free cruise. We were blessed with good weather, great company and outstanding service and food. It felt good to get away, but I missed my boys. We were away from them for four nights. When we picked them up from school, it was clear that they were happy to see us. I even got a genuine hug from Full Speed. If any of you have a third grader like him that willingly gives you a public hug on school grounds, you know how special it is.
My sister-in-law and brother-in-law had volunteered to watch them for us while we were away. It worked out well because they live right down the street and my nephew goes to the boys’ school. When I picked up their bags and asked how it went, I was a little taken aback at what I heard. Apparently, they didn’t really seem to miss me, they didn’t hardly speak my name and they had a great time while we were gone. Can you imagine? How is this possible? You mean their life doesn’t stop if I’m not in it?
Well, I’m going to do the only rational thing I can do for next year’s cruise. I’m going to have to take them with me.
1. Directions in unfamiliar territory seem to be a hot-button issue in my marriage. I don’t know what it is about not knowing where you are at that brings out the worst in me and my beloved. Regardless of a few tense moments, we always managed to reach our destination. For the most part, we also managed to still love each other even if we didn’t always like each other in the process.
2. Spending time with my nieces and nephew was fantastic. If I had it my way, I would have all my nieces and nephews live on my street and have them over as much as possible.
3. No matter where you put my boys, they are in a constant competition with life and each other. They had an hour-long debate over who came in first in a go-cart race. If I thought Mad Dog and I were heated over directions, it was nothing compared to the constant chatter of winner vs. loser between our boys. And, unfortunately, they never ever agreed to disagree. Made for some long rides back to our cabin.
4. So, their competitive streak has its downside, but surprisingly, it also has an immense upside. We were at Dixie Stampede which is Dolly Parton’s dinner attraction. The boys were selected by our server to be in a chicken chasing competition. They strategized from the moment they were selected. Full Speed instructed T.Puzzle where and how to run. T.Puzzle was overwhelmed at first by the enormity of the arena and the crowd. He stood quaking at the side of the gate right before they were sent in. Once inside the big, gaping, dust-covered space, he looked at Full Speed and they both got that look of determination on their faces. When the chickens were released, theirs didn’t stand a chance. Full Speed ran so intensely after it he fell down nearly crushing the chicken. They worked as a team and ran with such fire, the other two boys on the opposing side looked as if they were moving in slow-motion. Even after they successfully crossed the finish line, T.Puzzle kept chasing his chicken. He almost ran it all the way back to where the rest of show animals were being housed.
The boys show off their victory medals with pride. Thank goodness they were on the same team!
I may get frustrated by the intensity of my boys, but I have to say, seeing them give their all in everything they do, even chasing a chicken, keeps me inspired to always do my best.
When you are a stay-at-home parent it is hard to put into words what it feels like to be away from your kids for four whole nights. Our annual cruise without kids is something I look forward to all year-long. Having to only worry about myself is liberating. Being able to walk into art-filled stores and not worry about someone breaking something is a revelation. Sitting at a leisurely meal enjoying a glass of wine (or several) and not having to cajole table manners out of my boys is amazing. It’s nice to be at a table of adults who realize knives are for butter or meat, not for stabbing your brother in the face. This time away helps me remember that I am more than somebody’s Mom. It reminds me that I was a whole and interesting person before kids and it’s comforting to know I can be that again.
Our kids are not ours to hold onto forever. The second they are given to us is the same instant we must begin to let them go. It’s up to us to keep hold of ourselves and be who we are throughout this process. Time away from them is a great way to do this. It’s also great because when you return, you realize you were missed. You realize that even boys who seem to need so little except their determination to make it in the world, do in fact still need their Mom. Even T.Puzzle, my recently turned affection-resistant kid, easily gave up a hug or two upon my return. Those hugs were some of the best hugs I’ve had in a long time.
Mad Dog surprised us with a little family getaway to Amelia Island. We packed a lot into our small trip and had an absolute blast.
As the Mom of two, gregarious boys, I realize that serene moments in travel will be few and far between. The best line of defense is a good offense. Therefore, it is all about movement. Keep them active and all will be well. If they are confined for too long they invariably turn on each other. That’s when you know it’s time to move again.
That said, we thankfully managed some calm here and there. However, there was a lot of sprinting on the hotel grounds. As we left our room yesterday the boys, in typical fashion, sprinted ahead of us. As we turned the corner to the elevators, they were nowhere to be found.
Guess who decided it would be awesome to ride the elevator to the lobby by themselves? Thankfully, a kindly couple waited and watched over the boys until Mad Dog and I caught up to them. The boys were so full of pride. At least someone was because I certainly wasn’t. Embarrassed much?
After a stern talking to and a serious warning, we hope that parent-free elevator rides won’t become the norm. Of course at some point I’m going to have to let them go by themselves. It might be awkward if I follow them around their college dorm elevators.