One of the greatest compliments I received from a friend was “you’ve changed”. Life is always changing and if we are doing our inner work, we are going to change. We become more present and stop tolerating guilt and shame tactics from others. Most importantly, we shed the things that are holding us back in life. We become more welcoming to rapid change as we embrace our inner guidance. In many cases this will defy logic and often trigger others. So it’s important to remain centered and grounded within the self.
When someone says “you’ve changed” what they are really expressing are their fears and insecurities from having to relearn you. More often than not it’s a manipulation tactic to get you to do something they want. They might call you selfish or use global communication tactics with words such as “always” or “never”, etc. These projections stem from their own insecurities and are used to trigger guilt, shame or fear as an attempt to manipulate you. If we alter our choices due to projections from others we end up enabling them. Enabling is not an act of self-love, let alone unconditional love, and continues to feed the same cycles. Some friends may not agree with your choices in life but this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Release the concern and focus on living your truth. True friends will remain supportive. They may not understand and no explanation is necessary as that will only provide them more details for manipulation.
If we do not remain mindful of our thoughts we find ourselves projecting from our past. There is a vast difference between coming from a place of love and coming from a place of fear. The vibration is easily picked up here as you can feel into the energy behind the words for the underlying intent. Fear is often the result of projecting from our past, and when we do this towards others we are also doing this towards our self. It’s an attempt to hold others back but ultimately has a greater impact to the self. This ties to the mirror aspect of life, which is really life reflecting back to us our most dominate inner state. The beauty here is that it reveals our self-imposed limitations as we reflect. When we come from love we might share some wisdom but it comes from a different place. We become more supportive in offering unconditional guidance.
A few years ago, I connected with one of the greatest hypnotherapists and healers I have ever met (Melina Johnson CHt). In one of our discussions she conveyed how she listens to the energy and only moves when it tells her to. If something is off, she changes course taking the path of least resistance. You know when things are aligned as everything will flow. I would practice this at times, but once we had this discussion I decided to be more consistent in living and testing this for myself. To really test a belief we must embody it, live it and breathe it. This is how we move from belief to experience to knowing. I started living this more consistently and was amazed with the difference it made in my choices and experiences. It’s basically retraining ourselves to live from a deeply present mind with an open heart. It’s impossible to be manipulated when practicing this, as presence sees through everything. This also allows for us to utilize intuition as our guide. The inner guidance always knows, we only need to get silent enough to understand its inner voice.
The more we listen to the flow of life, the easier it becomes to embrace change. An open heart and present mind is crucial for this. With these two things, the struggles of life have no power over the self. Change can trigger us causing us to be more reactive and resistant to life. If you find yourself triggered, embrace it. If you are triggered and you think “I shouldn’t be triggered” then you have resistance which keeps you in that pain. Resistance keeps us stuck; the more we release, the more welcoming we are to life and THIS is where the beauty unfolds. We become more fluid and find ourselves moving beyond the emotional roller coasters of life. Without resistance we pass through through the emotions far more quickly, in many instances its so fast that we don’t even realize it. We experience it, but we experience it with the depth of our being, as we remain calm and present through it all.