Jeane: In my dream, it feels like I’ve gone somewhere. It almost feels, well, I guess they speak English, but it’s like someplace I’m not familiar with.
I’m trying to investigate, there was a man that was shot, and he was part of, I don’t know, something like a militia, or a police force, they hang together a lot, and you have the feeling that whoever shot him was part of one of them, so you’re trying to figure it out.
And so you never know whether the people that are trying to help you track down what happened are part of what caused what happened, or are they not? So whatever gathering you go to it feels like you’re always trying to figure out who was part of the problem.
When we go back to the residences, which look really poor, I mean you feel like you’re in a third world country, sometimes people will do really odd things. Like they throw something up, almost like try to anchor it over the window, and pull up, and I’ll pull it in rather than let them climb in the window, and then when you try to go out and find your way around it’s like the hallways are like a maze. You can get lost.
And I’m beginning to kind of get a sense of maybe where the problem lies and identifying certain people, but I’m not sure. At one point I go out into the woods and I go to an area where there’s a school, and then out into the woods again, and I’m looking for some information.
But it’s really hard when I first go out across some lawn because this place has these snakes that are molting. They’re kind of slimy like slugs, and they’re a little more wild if they’re not in a pair. If there’s a pair, then they’re better, but it’s like maybe if you don’t watch it like they’ll jump up and they almost get to your hand.
And they seem to multiply all over the grass, so to walk amongst them is kind of creepy. But I seem to make it through that, and I’m with a couple of other people, a guy and someone else, and we’ve gone by an old school and I feel like I’m beginning to zoom in on some information.
I’ve even maybe seen a file that somebody didn’t mean for me to see, which is giving me information on a family that seems I feel will help me zoom in on who did this, but I’m not sure. So I’ve gone somewhere and I’ve kind of let it leak that I have this information, and I’m waiting to see who shows up – figuring that will help me identify.
And I’m surprised because I see someone come that I thought was one of the good guys, Israeli actually, he’s carrying something when he comes in, it’s kind of like a gooey cinnamon bun, and he shares a little bit of it but not much. So then I take a bite and then he says, well, he actually didn’t want to share much of it because he was going to take it home to his family.
And I said, “Oh, well, if I had known that like I wouldn’t have taken a bite.” Then I also feel like he’s there to see the information. Anyway, that’s when I woke up.
John: The dream repeats, and repeats, and repeats again and again the same energetic conundrum, which had to have left you feeling awkward because the issue is not something that is associated with the situation in front of you. The issue is associated with an energetic imbalance that is preexisting.
Now, these energetic imbalances often times get set up when you fail to follow a proper adab, or you fail to take proper responsibility with something and you just let it hang fire, or you determine that it’s okay to ignore, or that it’s somebody else’s responsibility to take something into account and so you let it hang fire.
There are all kinds of reasons why one fails to be attentive. In some cases the issue can be bigger than yourself and is still a lingering energetic imbalance based upon the way something just happens to be in the collective. And all of that, then, has an effect that continues to permeate out and affect the situations as they unfold in life.
And so, in other words, this is a subject that goes from grosser to subtler. You’re approaching it as if, though, it has a more direct consequence that you can put your finger on. But that consequence still is an energetic stigma or effect that is outside of each scenario.
In other words, it’s like some little thing happens, let’s say, that throws you off, and then you continue to proceed in a whole other setting and yet the effect of what preexisted before continues to influence, or change, or alter, or create connotations to whatever is continuing to unfold as a result of some unfinished, upstream business.
And so you’ve forgotten, or aren’t paying any attention anymore, to whatever it was that may have set off the stigma or the energetic qualm, or jinx, or spell and you’re only trying to look at what needs to be contended with based upon the current situation in front of you.
And there is no answer for that current situation in front of you, because the current situation in front of you is created by an energetic that is just a tone, or manner, or mode in the overall. And yet you try to solve it in the specific, and it can’t be solved in the specific because it’s like a reciprocal effect of what had taken place, or occurred, earlier in which you didn’t apply, or reach, or bring in the proper adab, or responsibility, or communication or whatever it was that should have, and could have, taken place at that time.
That’s how it is in the denser way of looking at how karma in a flow, and in an unfoldment, gets set up. In a subtler way, it can be a vibration that’s very, very, very complex, just like, for example, the oil spill is said to be caused by all of us in some sense because we all participate in receiving the fruits of oil as part of what we take in as being essential to our way of life now.
And so, as a consequence, that creates a certain clamor that leads to certain consequences, and so we’re not quite clear or pure in terms of being able to deal with that with a clear mind and a clear energy, because we are clouded by the fact that we have participated in those fruits in a personal way.
And so that’s what the thing can look like in a real, real subtle way. However, your dream had the whole feel that it was dealing with something that went awry, and as it went awry created image after image, and scenario after scenario, that was just out of touch with what needed to be in synced energetically for there to be a cohesive unfoldment.
This has a deeper meaning, too, in that this is how consciousness is limited and/or kind of works. For example, I noticed long ago that I could get into a certain headspace energetically, vibrationally, in which I could see things while in that particular context. But if I slipped out of that context, and took in something more as a bigger scope, then the perspective that I had in this prior, more streamlined, parameter context, which was true under that schematic, and under those parameters, and under those particular conditions, would no longer be true in a bigger scope, in a greater wholeness.
And so this is a whole level of a kind of communication that exists, that one has to learn how to be in touch with as part of the way that one exists and lives in a world that is intertwined energetically. And that every vibration has a reciprocal cause and effect in the outer, which continues to continue until it runs its course.
And karma is created when events occur that continue to carry malinger effects of unfinished business, which then cause things to continue to reverberate. And those things that reverberate, and you try to solve those based upon just the reverberation in its dense manifested way, is close to impossible because you have to back up and free yourself, and truly let go, in a completely clean way, that energetic. But you didn’t do it at some point, who knows when in your past, and so now you have the consequences of confusion in the present – or in the future even.
And so what you have done is, you’ve kind of in your image portrayed a little bit about how a person puts themselves into pain, and into karma, based upon a type of taking for granted, as opposed to staying fully responsible and conscious when you know you should have been, in some regard or another, at some other point in time. And when you didn’t do it, then you set in motion these chain of events that just kept haunting you, and haunting you, and haunting you.
Saying it like this is describing it in the grosser, but then when you look at the oil spill, I mean you’re going back hundreds and hundreds of years to see where the seed of that imbalance got put in place. And thus the true letting go is to let go of everything, so that something new can shift and if you cannot let go of things even like that, then whatever can be potentially shaped is still going to have to include that as an unfoldment in the process of life as it goes forward.
So this is a huge, huge subject of which what you’re experiencing is the tip of the iceberg.
John: Well, in the next dream, I’m driving off of an interstate into an exit, and up ahead of course you have to stop and then go left or right. And so you have to slow down because your on the interstate you’re maybe going 80 miles an hour, and you have to slow down to 35, 40, whatever and come to a complete stop.
But for some reason I can’t get my mind to engage to hit the brakes to stop, and I can see the stop way up ahead. I have plenty of time. In fact, you know, if I don’t do it right at this moment, I can do it at the next moment, or the next moment, but I seem frozen and out of sync. I can hit the clutch, but for some reason or another I can’t get my foot to go onto the brake.
It’s as if I can’t get my mind to respond in unison. And you comment on how fast I’m going and I say, “I know, I can’t get my mind to respond.” This is very miserable. This isn’t funny. It’s very miserable. I mean I’ve been doing my darndest, you know. I was even reaching down trying to hit the pedal with my hand, but how can you see the road and hit the pedal with your hand and stop the thing?
You know, none of it was working. Was I going to crash? And so the sensation of course is a horrible, horrible, helpless sensation. In other words, I know how one needs to be, but I’m unable to come into the body or something, or bring the focus I need in order to do something mundane in manifestation.
I freeze up. It’s as if I’m freezing up in the outer because somehow or another I’m not grounded or I’m not in body or something, therefore not properly focused. So the dream is indicating that, as a consequence, there’s a lack of acuity that happens if I don’t come properly back into the body.
So, apparently, I’m remaining a little bit too much in this other transcendent space and inner plane in which the indulgence there does nothing for conduct that needs to occur in the outer.
It’s like the dream is saying that to be responsible I need to be familiar, more familiar, in both levels simultaneously.
In other words, one level has to do with sight where I can see ahead what needs to be, I have to stop, and the other level has to do with the mundane action in the physical where you have to be able to be grounded enough to make all that happen. In other words, it comes all the way down. You can see the potentiality but it also has to be lived out.
In the next dream I’m like, I don’t know what I am, 17, 16, 18, I don’t know, maybe a young adult, anyway I’m at home visiting my dad, my folks. It’s like I’m on vacation. And for some reason the talk gets around to bird hunting, or maybe that’s just suddenly what seems to happen, because I suddenly look out the window and there are all these pheasants.
Now you rarely see pheasants, and a pheasant is kind of an exotic bird, you know, that has a whole glory about itself – in terms of its beauty, and its presence, and its demeanor. A pheasant is a little bit like a peacock, too. It can be a little strident.
So I ask, where’s the shotgun? Because I’m going to shoot one of these pheasants. And my dad says he doesn’t know where it is at, so then I ask about the 22 and get a similar response. So what about the 22 Hornet, his favorite gun? I know he knows where that’s at. I will make a head shot.
In other words, because you don’t want to shoot it with a bigger gun and blow it all to pieces so that there’s nothing there to appreciate, and he won’t get it. So, as the dream progresses, I go outside because, you know, I want to look at the pheasants more I guess, and I’m amazed how close I can get to them.
“Look how close that pheasant is.” The idea of me shooting it in the head seemed a little bit farfetched because usually you can’t get close enough, but there I am. It would be a simple, easy head shot.
Then I look closer at the pheasant. It’s a mother with a young one. Then I look at another nearby pheasant, and it too has a little one. At some point I begin talking to the magical pheasant because it suddenly has a head like a human. I’m amazed that I can rapport like this. I would’ve missed out on this connection if I had had my way.
But apparently I haven’t dropped this idea, this notion, this mannerism of how you have to be, because I mean I have these memories, wonderful memories, as a kid going out and bird hunting, but I never did much big game hunting. My dad did most of that. He never bird hunted. I was the one that liked to bird hunt. I always did these other little things.
So in the next dream I’m going hunting with my dad and other family members. So after driving way back into an area we get out of the vehicle and we start walking. And when we finally reach an area where there’s a snow line, that’s when I realize I’m not dressed properly. I don’t have walking shoes on. I have just regular loafers or something.
So I pause as the others go on, and I seem to get distracted because they disappear. Lots of time seems to somehow go by, and I suddenly realize there’s no way I’m going to be able to catch up, and of course they just have to keep going assuming that I’ll figure it out and catch up.
But so much time has gone by that I know that there’s no way I can catch up, plus I don’t know how to go from where I’m at back to the vehicle. But suddenly where I’m at, hanging out, there are other people, kids playing on the hillside and stuff all around, which indicates to me even more that I just don’t know where I’m at.
And then suddenly I realize, I can hear it now, my dad will be furious when I finally get out of this mess. He will probably say, I’m not going hunting with you ever again. And, given how I now feel about all of this, that would be okay with me, although when this happens I will probably act hurt. And so I wake up.
I can’t stand the condition I am in. You know, I’m lost, I don’t know how to follow out, I don’t know how to get back, it’s actually starting to cool down, it’s like 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon and the light’s starting to fade. If I were to try to go forward it would get dark on me and I’d be in real bad shape, and if I try to go back who knows where I’m going to end up, and no way they’re going to know how to find me.
So the meaning of the two dreams is, what I think I like based upon old memories of bird hunting that I enjoyed as a kid is not where I’m actually at now. When I settle back from the mannerisms, I’m able to appreciate the relationship I didn’t know I had, that has opened up inside in ways that I hadn’t realized was there, or possible.
But I still haven’t shaken certain mannerisms of the past. And, as if to get that out of the system, then I indulge in the sport by going big game hunting, something that I really don’t have a good connection with. I had the connection with bird hunting, and I can’t even do it in a sub-fashion, in other words, or as an octave, because something has changed.
I’ve lost the impulse to go forward in this mannerism. I know that others may even expect me to continue this type of pattern, but my heart just isn’t into it. I simply stop because it isn’t worth the effort. Consequently, in relationship to the mannerism or the pattern that exists, I’m lost.
In other words, I would think and seem to know where I’m at if I stayed in that pattern, but when I don’t let go of that kind of familiarity I go into kind of a condition in which I’m confused in the psyche as if, you know, I’m doing something wrong because I let go, I’m not adhering to the impulse. And so you can develop a self-consciousness, even.
Well somehow somewhere there’s a happy medium, but I’ve not found that for myself. What we are talking about in the dream is a state in which I handle the inner and outer in a way that needs to be balanced, and I haven’t found that yet. I’m still estranged from a necessary value that comes from the heart, which eludes me because I’m still caught up in preconceived ideas, and notions, and mannerisms, and habits.
So the dreaming seems to be about habits and mannerisms and whatnot trying to thread the needle, or trying to reconcile two places, and having to contend with the various peculiarities that one’s adopted over time that keeps them from being able to do that.
In other words, it’s like when you take the idea of hunting, I guess there’s a certain aspect that I’m indulged in, but not in the bigger sense that most people are indulged with their ego, which has to do with big game hunting.
I mean most people could care less about bird hunting, and yet I found that fascinating but, on a subtler level, even that had a certain absurdity because I was pushing myself off and away from an intertwinedness that one needs to see in relationship to everything being connected and alive – in terms of one’s self.
And that these birds that I was hunting were all reflective of a condition of myself, too, just like big game hunting is like that, only it has to be done with a certain level of awareness, a divine awareness, and then it can be okay. You have to have a relatability to everything in life, as opposed to just a rightfulness that you superimpose.
And of course the meaning of all of this is I’m being confronted to be more true to my heart. My abstractions are not where it is at. And so if I can hold the value, I can actually then play act in the outer, with an acuity to the inner – that’s where this is going. That’s what this dreaming is like. These are components in that direction. Whether I quite get the memo, or not, this is still a big gulp to take.
John: So in the meditation dream, I seem to be going back and dealing with the polarities of being in the outer, versus what it’s like in the inner.
And from the meditation dream I can see that on the inner level there’s this area that is subtle and flexible. It’s able to handle a lot of change and diversity and, as a consequence, there’s a fluidity there that seems to undulate with life.
And then, by contrast, if I look at how it is that I look at things and relate to things in the physical, or in manifestation, that seems very linear, or I don’t seem to appreciate or adapt to outer changes quickly enough. As a result, I experience life in a way that is more slowed down and narrower.
It seems that, over time, a gap has formed between these two states, my higher self and my lower self, you might say, or the inner and the outer. You could say that the density of the outer in the physical is functioning at a slower speed, and maybe one way of saying that slower speed is it’s accessing life as if it was created just out of sound, and therefore it’s not seeing behind that the true light.
And you could say that on this other inner level, the veils lift somewhat and so that there is a greater perception, a greater attunement to what is meant to be. I guess you could say then that this is akin to a greater speed, and a freedom, because you get glimpses that aren’t possible, or so it seems, when you’re in the veils of manifestation.
However, I also can’t help but recognize that the two states are reflective of each other, but it’s at what feels like different points in time. I was trying to figure out how it is that I can explain this, for I have a sense of knowingness about what’s about to take place, yet in the physical you can blank all of that out and act as if nothing is that big of a deal.
And so I can’t help but notice that the experiences in the outer narrow down or, in other words, are more drawn out, and have this sense of greater proximity, or more hands on. Yet on the inner the experiences approach a kind of central unfolding overall vibration that kind of emanates throughout everything, as if you’re gaining some sort of access to something that permeates or intertwines with everything, as if it’s in light, I guess is the way you’d say it.
Because sound is manifestation, and light would be something that could traverse a greater domain. In that there is a quality of a potential and intended destiny. So when you try to reconcile the two states, you end up with kind of a condition as a person that’s a little ominous, because in the outer there’s just a sense if you force yourself to look at things more closely, there’s a sense in the bones of a bigger picture unfolding from the inner – that is, if you have some sense of that awakening.
Otherwise, you don’t have that connection at all, and you just go about as if everything is going to be okay. But to the higher self, to the degree to which there is this inner connection at this time, which is creating a shift, you can’t pretend anymore. You can’t get lost in the minute detail of the outer that keeps you from seeing a bigger picture.
So as things unfold laboriously in the outer, that pace that you see when you have a more speeded-up quality of the inner is kind of nauseating because it’s acting delusional.
So there’s this peculiar dilemma of, how do you cope with both? Because when the higher self can surrender and accept the outer, instead of seeing it as nauseating, and slowed down, and dulled out, and full of veils, and estranged from what needs to be, if the higher self can accept the outer, a wonderful receptivity is possible as the impulses that come out of the light into a physical manifestation make for a more direct, even though it’s slowed down, experience of the divine, which may be more veiled, however, because of the denseness of things but, because of the immanence, in another way it’s almost more graspable.
So, for those who can bring the two states closer together by bridging the illusory barrier between light and sound, there is the heightened and greater aliveness of an intertwined universe.
To become more intertwined is to become nearer and dearer to the essence of the self where nothing is going on. This is where the beginning and the end are One, as this is where pure experience is at rest.