Toddler who smeared shit all over the wall insists he’s just being ‘modern day presidential’

2-year-old Jack Williams has insisted that what appears to most people as a dirty protest, is in fact simply him being ‘modern day presidential’.

After waking up with a nappy full of yesterday’s dinner, the toddler proceeded the smear the contents of his pyjama bottoms all over the wall of his bedroom.

After being roundly chastised by his parents, Jack defended himself, insisting that “the rules have changed, what you consider to be bad behaviour is, in fact, presidential in a very modern sense.

“Sure, in days gone by this type of thing might have been justifiably criticised, but this is the new reality we’re living in. This is what society now accepts as the new normal, and I make no apologies for that.

“I am nothing but a product of the society in which I’m raised, and if wiping shit on the walls of my bedroom is the best way to get my message across, then so be it.

“The lying mainstream parents would no doubt turn this into a story about artistic impression and budding creativity, but by directly communicating with you, everyone can see it’s nothing more than me putting shit on the wall.

“No lies, no filter, no editorialising. Just me putting shit on a wall.”