North can do you in a quarter

Hello, Kangaroos. We’ve used every cliché we have this season about ups and downs, rollercoasters, mercurial players, stockmarket booms and busts, and all the other ways to describe a team that’s inexplicably crap half the time. Now the Roos have given us more fuel by showing just how good they can be the other way.

Having already beaten frontrunners Sydney and Port Adelaide, of course being expected to beat Richmond meant they were 35 points down in the third quarter. Then, they unleashed a goal-kicking assault that will probably end some Richmond careers.

Brent Harvey got a free kick right in front. Drew Petrie marked for a goal at full forward, created another punching on to Ryan Bastinac, then marked again. Jack Ziebell mimicked him, with Harvey pushing away the team medical staff to help deliver the ball. Then it was Harvey feeding a handball for Robin Nahas to take the lead off his old club, then Harvey again to Ben Cunnington for one more. A free kick to Petrie rounded it out: eight goals, 19 minutes, one broken opponent in yellow and black. A rollercoaster. Mercurial. Bust and Boomer.

Buddy will miss, or the bump needs explaining

The AFL’s campaign against head-high bumps is set for its biggest case yet, with Lance Franklin likely to miss Sydney’s game against Port Adelaide after charging Gold Coast defender Clay Cameron. The gargantuan shoulder described by commentator Leigh Matthews as making “a little bit of high contact” saw Cameron’s head rock from side to side as he crashed to the turf.

The AFL judiciary are always criticised, but their rulings on bumps this season have in fact been consistent. Jack Viney and Daniel Hannebery got off because their focus was the ball, but any head-high contact by players who could have chosen not to bump has drawn a suspension. Franklin could have tackled or smothered; he was too late to stop the kick, and he was out to intimidate.

But every football fan is pumped for Port’s trip to Sydney: the competition’s two white-hot teams up against each other at last. Franklin is the league’s marquee player. The fact that Brownlow favourite Gary Ablett wasn’t cited for a recent errant elbow says that some decisions might be swayed by emotion. By the rules, Franklin has to be suspended. If he isn’t, it’ll tell us something.

The philosophy of the late close call

You have to feel for Carlton's coach. That straight-backed dapper uncle of football hasn’t suffered this kind of indignity since a sport-illiterate friend of mine tried to bluff her new Blues-mad boyfriend by saying how much she liked Rick Mouldhouse.

The round before last, Mick Malthouse’s side lost to the lowly Brisbane Lions; next outing they led a fancied Geelong side by 16 points late in the last quarter but fell by five. In front of goal with seconds left, Troy Menzel was denied a free kick when he was caught high. Malthouse lamented it post-match, and the AFL’s head of umpiring agreed, but it was a bit late for Carlton.

And yet, rather than ringing post-match radio to fume about the injustice, the football fan must have the imagination to take the wider view. The last link in a chain is held in place not by the second-last, but all that precede it. Making the final call responsible for the result ignores the dozens of other lineball situations in any match.

Geelong was denied a forward-line free just two minutes earlier. The Blues missed three shots in the last quarter, and 12 for the match. The Cats missed 11. Either could have sealed it earlier: goals in the first quarter are worth the same as goals in the last. Play well enough, and you can’t lose to a single call. Teams that deserve to win have taken chance out of the equation.

Tom Hawkins, predator turned provider

Even raptors have to nourish their young. The Cat they call Hawk soared to the top of the Coleman Medal tally on Friday night when be grabbed four goals in a quarter, his flight and agility back at optimum after 2013 was hampered by back problems.

But perhaps even more impressive was when he couldn’t mark. Time and again, Hawkins played the marking duel like a ruck contest, working the incoming ball to a team-mate’s advantage. The palm-down for George Horlin-Smith’s snap in the first quarter was elegant. In the third, being manhandled, he still punched an incoming long ball to Jordan Murdoch in the goalsquare; then controlled one on the half-volley at a sprint, ignored the tackle being applied, and flipped a handball out to the passing Andrew Mackie.

Joel Selwood’s late winner got the plaudits, but the previous goal had brought the Cats back into the game with two minutes to play: Jesse Stringer’s ball to the goalsquare, Hawkins putting enough pressure on Michael Jamison to force the ball front and square, and Horlin-Smith once more steaming through.

Come on boys, help out your old pal Browny, would ya?

Given Jonathan Brown has had his face broken about a dozen times for the Brisbane Lions, you’d think his team-mates could muster a little more effort for him. Sure, they got a win, but it was the moment Brown took a kick from outside the 50 near the boundary.

Despite the degree of difficulty his body language telegraphed he was going to take the shot. It was a meaty strike off the boot, and everyone just stood to watch it sail through. Except Western Bulldogs ruckman Will Minson, who had an inexplicably clear run at the goal-line, leapt his full measure, and got a big palm to the ball.

Brown was already fist-pumping a goal, but the score review confirmed Minson had saved five points, while half a dozen Lions who hadn’t bothered to go to the goal-line stood around complaining. What’s the bet none of them got Browny a birthday card last time round?