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Sunday, 30 December 2012

My wife and I have just been discussing what we are going to do for New Year! This has been an incredibly challenging year for us, and we wanted to do something that involved just us. No resolutions, just relaxation!

That got me thinking about the ' Grand Plan' and my shocking lack of progress over the last four months or so. So I set about thinking about what my new year warhammer resolutions could be, you know, to carry me along. Perhaps resolution is the round word, as it means change. New Year plan might be more appropriate.

Anyway, he is a list (in no particular order) of Oldhammer related things that I would like to achieve over the next twelve months.

1. Play a game of Warhammer (or related games) with someone on the Warhammer Opponent Finder.
We have all thought about it, I'm sure. But I actually want to arrange something, load up the car with painted miniatures and scenery and travel to meet someone I have never actually met in person, play an exciting 3rd Edition game, photograph it extensively and publish in all its glory here on my blog. Any takers in the New Year?

2. Safely organise my painted models and catagorise my unpainted ones.
At the moment, all my models lie in plastic bags in an old toolbox, even the painted ones, and time will no doubt be unkind to them. What I'd like is some why of storing them with the minimum of fuss. Perhaps one day I could be as organised as this, but I think not!

I bet Erny has 10 times this amount in his famous garage!

3. Collect more Limited Edition Citadel miniatures
I want to be more focused and less impulsive. Using Billy Bunter's collection as a guide should lead me towards winning a few rare models to paint up - I definitely would like some festive models for next year!

5. Paint The Nightmare Legion.
Bought by my father in the 80s and never painted. He asks everything he visits, "Have you painted the legion?" as a joke, I would like to say, yes! Additionally, its another unit for my Old School undead army.

6. Complete small daemonic armies for all four powers using Realm of Chaos.
Old school colour schemes a plenty. Doing this should help with the grand plan and I have most of the models. Warhammer at its strangest?

Not a lot is it?

Better get started. Have any other readers have any long term plans or ideas they would like to complete over the next year?

Saturday, 29 December 2012

Hold the front page! I have just got wind of an update over at The Citadel Collector, with more of Bryan Ansell' s collection being photographed. A lot of this stuff is exclusive to the site, including many old favourites and some models and paint jobs I have never seen before!

Welcome back to 'Acceptable in the '80s', the ongoing series that hopes to document the history of Warhammer Third Edition through its releases, supplements and miniatures. Its been a while since we last visited the pages of a classic White Dwarf, so lets delve deep into the musty pages and explore the content in WD98.

CHAOS THUGS

Basic rules and an atmospheric short tale, all this for an ad? GW, what went wrong?

Chaos thugs - any colour you like!

Chaos thugs are one of my favourite ranges of Realm of Chaos miniatures, and they are a vast collection of models, probably consisting of over one hundred models. Here we have a selection of thirty two models, some classics and some less well known. One of the attractions of this range for me is the sheer variation of models, and a wide range of sculptors. Some of the models have a rather chequered history and turn up later as warriors. Even so, this range is a fantastic challenge for any collector.

CHAOS CENTAURS

Sixteen models, though other combinations are possible, including a character model.

Another short tale, rules and a special character- all you need to field these chaos creatures.

Following on directly from the chaos thugs, are these centaurs, and impressive models they are too. Again, variation is the key and the two part nature of the models means its easy to mix and match the bodies to the torsos. I own quite a few of these models, though they have got no further than the bottomless jar of dettol.

MINOTAURS AND RAT OGRES

Giant creatures aplenty.

Finally, we see another set of minotaurs, and a minotaur lord, both of which were furnished with varied heads. As regular readers will know, I have painted three of the models in this minotaur range and own quite a few more. I consider them to be some of the best minotaur models GW have ever produced. The rat ogres are also of note and these models had very long shelf lives, testament to Jes Goodwin' s skill as a sculptor.

A short list of models from this issue. Realm of Chaos was obviously taking up much studio time (the long awaited release was still some months away, though.

Friday, 28 December 2012

In the days when your computer was impressive if its internal memory was 64k (as was my C-64), super detailed RPG worlds, such as Skyrim, existed only in the dreams of gamers. I can recall discussing computer games with a friend in the mid '80s and agreeing that I would be amazing if you could just walk into a town and enter any of the houses, and, pick up any object you wanted! However, the only actual way of doing so circa 1989 was to use printed 'dungeon' floor plans, and these wonderful Old School gaming aids are the focus of today's nostalgic post.

Games Workshop released many such aids during the first half of the 80s, most of which were either revamped or re-released many times (as the montage above shows). Eventually, many of the best floor plans were republished in Dungeon Floor Plans in late '88. This was the edition I used extensively in the early '90s to run the Enemy Within Campaign. And like many other games, irresponsibly cut them all out! Little did I know that in the future I'd use this invention called the internet to communicate with gamers world wide! Back then, it went no further than the playground or common room. So, I have nothing left to use today or, indeed, share with others.

Thankfully, others were more frugal and I have managed to pick up a few scans from around the internet. I have shared them for you below and, if you so wish, you can print them out and cut them all up again without worrying about the consequences. I am beginning to contemplate the possibility of using these tiles for Realm of Chaos skirmishes underground or inside buildings.

Here is a blog I found (sadly, long abandoned, as its author did some stirling work producing game aids for the Enemy Within Campaign) that has a great many scans of these (and other ) dungeon-rooms. Additionally, there is this old thread that discusses the history of these plans and contains further links, including the complete handouts from Mighty Warriors Download Tiles and Mighty Warriors.

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

As regular readers will know, I have been spending quite a bit of 'Little Men Time' (as my wife calls it) trawling the internet researching Citadel's output. During my cyber travels I often stumble across blogs, sites or images that I feel would be of interest to other enthusiasts. I like to post links to quality Old School as often as I find them.

I recently discovered the collection of Billy Bunter. And what a collection it is... Many of the limited edition and unreleased models I have been discussing are part of his collection but, unlike many of us, his collection is actually painted.

Here are a few personal highlights from his collection

STAR WARS STORM TROOPER

I included this rare model in a recent post, and here it is painted to a remarkable standard. Looking at this paint job makes me wish that Lucas and Ansell could have come to an agreement as a 1980s GW Star Wars game would have been incredible.

BABY ZOAT WITH POLE

This model is a bit of a mystery it seems. Was it designed for 28mm or 15mm? What was the purpose of the strange looking pole? Answers on a postcard...

ZYGOR SNAKE ARMS

An early chaotic character this one, I was really impressed with the paint job on this one. The red, black and white of the snakeskin is really effective. I should make more reference to the natural world with my painting.

WHITE DWARF AT 90

Special release to celebrate 10 years of GW and issue 90 of White Dwarf. The original and best Grombindal models.

ALPINE DWARF SKIER

A beautifully presented version of my favourite ever Warhammer model. Exquisite painting with a gloriously natural look and feel.

The few images I have shared with you are just the tip of the iceberg of what is available for viewing on his site over at CCM. If you want to see more (and his collection includes models right up to 2012) just follow this link.

Monday, 24 December 2012

HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all fellow enthusiasts of Old School Citadel. Here's hoping that you enjoy all the joys of the season and have an immensely rewarding time with your families and friends - and I hope you can sneak away for a few hours to work on a miniature or two while your rellies snooze off their indulgences!

In response to Gerome's email about Old School Citadel Christmases of yesteryear, yes there were indeed a range of limited (and not so limited) Christmas related miniatures produced throughout the '80s. So similar to yesterday's post, I have an un-numbered count down of sorts of the wonders of GW's legacy of festive lead.

SPACE SANTA

"Ho, ho, ho..."

This wonderful model was sculpted by Bob Naismith. It was a numbered limited edition release and looks rather Rogue Trader inspired. I'd love to get hold of this model and create a festive RT scenario around it!

CHAOS SANTA

"Ha, ha, ha..."

The familiar spiky bits protrude from the shoulders, the face nothing but a grinning skull-like mask while large, bucket top boots suggest a regular need to 'stomp' small furry animals - this must be none other than a chaos warrior in disguise. This festive freak was produced by the Perry's.

SANITY CLAWS

"Hugthgg, hugthgg, hugthgg..."

Another Bob Naismith sculpt, a festive mix between Father Christmas and Lovecraftian Horror. This one was a limited edition release available through mail order in the December issue of White Dwarf in 1986.

DWARF FATHER CHRISTMAS

"Humpf, humpf, humpf..."

Apparently an Aly Morrison sculpt for the opening of the Chester Store 'back in the day'... This model really reminds me of a more recent Empire hero below. So at least we know what Father Christmas does with his time the rest of the year...!

DARK FUTURE FATHER CHRISTMAS

"Have you been a good boy this year?"

When I was trying to get my hands on some Dark Future stuff earlier on in the autumn, this model kept turning up with surprising regularity and some frighteningly high 'Buy it Now' prices. I have no memory of this one being released and have never found a White Dwarf advert either.

AND FINALLY... THE CHRISTMAS MARINES!

The mystery has finally been solved about one of the missing legions! They were a festive bunch who's combat doctrine involved the consumption of fermented vegetable products and unruly singing. No wonder they were cleansed from the Imperial Records, they would have got right up Angron's nose!

Sunday, 23 December 2012

There was a time when GW was not an overly serious corporate entity obsessed with itself and its own created worlds, endlessly regurgitating the same ideas with frighteningly increasing sized price tags. If you are un-sure what I mean, check out this link to a Viz comic I discovered some months ago that helps put you in the picture... here

As I was saying, before the GW of recent times, Citadel produced a wide range of humorous, wacky and downright weird miniatures for no other reason than they thought they were funny. Some were released on general sale, others were limited editions while others were never released officially. During my research into the different ranges produced by Citadel during the 80s and early 90s, I have come across a lot of these amusing models and thought I might share my favourites with you lot.

Some you may well know well, even own, but I am sure there must be one or two models on this list that you have not seen before and they will (hopefully) raise, at least, an ironic smile.

Here we go then, Orlygg's TOP TEN wacky little known gems of the Oldhammer World (and few beyond!)

10: DWARF WITH AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX

Original

Second Version

A simple idea, eh? Those simple ideas are often the best and I find this model (in both its versions) quite funny. I am not sure why, but I have always imagined Dwarfs to be the fantasy equivalent of those fellow Englishmen who live in the North. Complete with violent tendencies to defend any remark concerning lack of height. I prefer the second sculpt; the addition of the boots and the more genial representation of the dwarf make this so.

This model turns up quite frequently on eBay and I have put a few whistful bids down on them over the years. The second version is the more frequent, so much so the sculpt is not really considered that rare. However, the snotling sawmaster (sculpted by Kevin Adams) is often missing from these lots. So if you see the pair of them together you might do well to put a modest bid down.

9: CHAOTIC GENERAL MANAGER ATTACKING

Have you ever gazed dreamily over the comely visage of Bryan Ansell in Warhammer Armies? Do you ever wish that you could one day sport such a magnificent 1980s hair and moustache combination? Are all of your T-Shirts missing their sleeves? If the answer is 'yes' to any of these questions then this may be the miniature for you! Here we have the Mighty Avenging Bryan Ansell kitted up via The Realm of Chaos and ready to deal some damage - in his role of General Manager of Games Workshop!
I've never seen this online. I imagine it must sell quite often without the owner or buyer really knowing what the model is supposed to represent - perhaps they just assume its a good looking Chaos Warrior with a leaning towards 80s fashions? I'd love one of these.

8: THE MIDLANDS TROLL 1983

Making his second appearence on this list (right after his first appearence actually) is Bryan Ansell once more! This time in the guise of a Midland Troll. If former employees during this period (especially those working in retail) can be believed, then this is possibly how the great man dressed to run his business and no doubt used his club appropriately to quieten unruly motorbike riding employees. Curiously, this sculpt has Wereansell engraved on the base - so perhaps a transformation was indeed used to ' encourage ' the troops?
Can you imagine GW making fun of its employees in this way, or even making little kitch models like this. A Kirby Terminator anyone? No, it wouldn't work now, would it?

7: WIZARD WITH MACHINE GUN

Aly Morrison is said to be responsible for this amusing take on a wizard. Here the magic user is not only armed with his magical powers by also a SMG that would make Andy McNab proud. A fun model. I wonder if it was in any way inspired by the excellent animated film WIZARDS by Ralph Bakshi (check it out here)? This was a limited release that turns up quite regularly on eBay.

6: THE INCONVENIENCED DWARF

Another Aly Morrison sculpt here. This time a dwarf who has obviously had too many Bugman's XXXXXX ales down the boozer or, perhaps, indulged in a heavily spiced goblin curry! I love this model, and like the wizard with a machine gun, the joke is apparent from the first glance. I would dearly love to paint this model up so that the book resembles the front cover of Warhammer Third Edition.
Toilet humour was obviously 'in' at Citadel during the 1980s and this is the first of three (count 'em) scatalogical entries on this list. This model had quite a long run and turns up regularly on eBay.

5: THE 'UP THE WALL' GANG

Trish Morrison's contribution to the toilet related miniature is presented here in all its glory. A group of dwarfs relieve themselves in a grotty, ill-maintained WC but are interrupted by a Chaos Dwarf wielding a strange and unusual 'tool'. The purpose of this tool is not explained. It could be a rather perverse measuring device or even a method of 'chopping off' the poor dwarf's man bits? Who knows? I may even be reading in things that need not be there. Perhaps he is a local plumber residing in the Realm of Chaos who has popped around to change the urinal cakes?

4: DWARF FLASHER

Sadly, never released, but they do turn up occasionally - which makes me wonder just how many of these managed to escape from the Citadel Miniatures factory. Very funny! Never has a dwarven beard ever been so vital to a gag.

3: CITADEL STORM TROOPER

Now these models are not meant to be humorous, but are on this countdown as a 'what if'. What was the purpose behind these sculpts? A Star Wars fan with access to sculptors and casting equipment? Mock ups for a proposed range? A miniatures game with Lucasfilm that fell through? The last possibility must raise a few questions, surely? What could have mid to late 80s GW (at the height of their creative powers) done with a Star Wars miniatures game? These were never released and are subsequently extremely rare.

2: CHAOS BEASTMAN

At first glance you may well think - hey why is THAT model on the list? I've got that one in my collection already and there is nothing unusual about it either. Then you look at the headress of the helmet and notice an inverted penis like object being inserted into goodness knows where. A blunt allusion to Slannesh perhaps? I saw this unreleased model on eBay earlier on this year, I even put £50 quid down on it too. In the end, it sold for £69 pounds (the influence of Slannesh dictating the price, perhaps?). I put this on the list for its subtle shock value. Imagine the uproar today in the pages of the daily mail if such a model was produced?

1: THE CHAOS TOILET

The final model in my top 10 is this, the Chaos Toilet. A hideous representation of something we all dread to face... No, not a daemonic beast, but a poorly maintained lavatory. The poor soul who had settled down on the ceramic seat has been dragged down below the waterline. Strangely, this toilet seems to have had a second occupant, who is being clutched by a long, green daemonic hand. Hilarious. Its on eBay at the time of writing for £50.

Well, that is my little list for you. My favourite wacky wonders from Citadel's past! Have you any favourites that I have not included here? Any weird and wonderful sculpts that you find particularly amusing on dark and lonely nights?