Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The vacuuming of the wronged

After 15 years, we got new carpet yesterday. It is truly wonderful stuff. It's nice and clean, a brand new canvas for whatever my people decide to leak. As the installers were winding up last night, I began to wonder if they would be vacuuming or if it would be left up to me. I love to vacuum, it's like coloring. Squares. Well, I entered the sleeping end of our house to find my vacuum cleaner jam packed full in every sucking inch with carpet shrapnel. Not one more fiber would have fit in the hose, much less the bag. The thing was making this horrendous noise. The kind of noise that you instantly know is not good. I went ballistic. I take freakishly good care of my tools, especially the ones that do the work for me. Imagine my fury to see my Electrolux 4000 suffering so needlessly at the hands of someone who, obviously, didn't give 2 figs about my tool care standards. I could have throttled those guys. I wrestled control, straightened a coathanger and went to work on the hoses. I removed the 34 pound bag and replaced it with a fresh one. I've heard the saying, "Dance like nobody's watching." Well I have a new saying for anyone who's a little chilly, "Vacuum like you've been wronged." You won't need a sweater for 14 days.