Hagenm/BatmanMovieLines · Datasets at Hugging Face

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ALFRED No, Mr. Wayne is in Thailand. I'm afraid he's quite unreachable.
VICKI I don't know why I'm doing this. I half wish you'd stay a cripple.
BRUCE Ohhhh... you don't mean that.
VICKI (grasping for words) I don't, but... I do. It's just... I love you, Bruce. I --
BRUCE (taking her hand) Vicki. Do you love half of me? Or all of me?
VICKI I guess you did it, didn't you. You saved everyone. (pause) Almost.
BRUCE I don't know how to explain this so it makes sense... but you saved me.
BATMAN 2
COP What the hell -- ? BRAKES SQUEAL.Several squad cars are now massed at the entrance to the park -- but there's one problem.The city's snow plows don't operate on the park roads -- and the entrance is blocked off with SAWHORSES reading "CLOSED TO TRAFFIC."A huge steep drift prevents them from entering -- and so all they can do is stand by helplessly, WATCHING as the snowmobiles vanish into the trees.
COP WITH MIKE Yeah, you heard me.Snowmobiles! (pause) So what do we do?Chase 'em on foot??
COP I ...That was Batman.
COP II NO SHIT!!
COP I ...Merry Christmas.
COP II Gift-wrapped and everything.
GORDON After a high-speed chase -- over $750,000 in precious jewels were recovered intact by the police force -- working in concert with Batman.
VOICES IN CROWD TAKE BACK THE STREETS!TAKE BACK THE STREETS!TAKE BACK THE -- GORDON waits for them to shut up, but they don't; so he grabs the mike and speaks slowly and distinctly, trying to be heard over the din.
GORDON I would like to stress -- that while this city enjoys a special relationship with Batman -- (louder) -- we do not condone vigilantism -- (practically screaming) -- IN ANY FORM.
SEKOWSKY And hey!Where does this -- (BLEEP; expletive deleted) -- Gordon get off calling us ? We're not breakin' any laws.We're a group of concerned citizens, that's all -- just like Batman.
WOMAN IN CROWD You people are nothing but hoodlums!
SEKOWSKY Hey, lady -- we're out here on patrol riskin' our necks to protect old biddies like you. (into mike) If this lame-o Gordon could do his job --
BRUCE I'm not deaf, Alfred.I hear you.
ALFRED I took the liberty of preparing tea. (indicating tbe monitors) I take it you've been watching the news?
BRUCE Yeah...lot of crazy people in this world.
ALFRED I should inform you...Christmas is approaching, and we've received our annual solicitation from the Fireman's Toy Fund. (eyeing the equipment) If I may inquire...?
BRUCE Oh, yeah.Watch this.
ALFRED Most ingenious, sir.What exactlyit?
BRUCE What does it look like?
ALFRED To the untrained eye, sir, it looks remarkably like...the skeleton of an umbrella.
BRUCE Good guess, Alfred.That's exactly right.
ALFRED Splendid, sir, and if I may say, I'm glad you're putting your time to such productive use. (beat) Now -- the Toy Fund.Our contribution last year was a half-million dollars...
BRUCE We can do better than that.
ALFRED Then there's the foster-parents program... the Gotham homeless crusade... ALFRED (cont.) Is something troubling you, sir?
BRUCE Yeah...the holidays, I guess.Always gets me thinking about... (he changes the subject) And to tell you the truth, I'm a little -- concerned about Vicki.
ALFRED (anxiously) Miss Vale, sir...?
BRUCE Yeah.I've been thinking about it lately. Thinking about it a lot... (gravely; shaking his head) ...and I still can't figure out what to get her for Christmas.
GUARD Up and at 'em, Pengy.-- Pengy? GUARD (cont.) Boniface...
PAROLE OFFICER You want to return the money you stole.
BONIFACE Intact.The map will show you where it's buried.
PAROLE OFFICER All of it.Forty-two million dollars.
PAROLE OFFICER II Why this sudden change of heart?
MR. BONIFACE Gentlemen, I want my debt to be repaid in full.I want to be a part of civilized society! (oozing sincerity) Prison life is not for me.The guilt, the fear, the constant shame...one meets a disturbingly low class of people.
PAROLE OFFICER II Sure, but -- forty-two million dollars??
WARDEN His record's clean.Thirteen years without an incident.
ATTORNEY I'd like to point out, my client's put his time to good use.A student of ornithology...articles published in several respected journals... MR. BONIFACE Birds, yes.My only source of solace.
PAROLE OFFICER In light of this rather extraordinary gesture, I see no reason not to endorse your application for parole.
BONIFACE Thank you, sir.You won't regret it.
MYNAH CRIME DOES NOT PAY.AAWWK!!CRIME DOES NOT PAY.
ATTORNEY Personally trained by my client. Free time -- the cell doors are open and the convicts are milling around in the common area.T-BONE, 220 lbs. of dumb, hulking beef, saunters up to his cell and finds his bunkmate, MR. BONIFACE, staring at a stack of EMPTY CAGES.BONIFACE whirls on him suddenly, his face beet-red, APOPLECTIC WITH RAGE:
MR. BONIFACE -- Where are my birds?!?
T-BONE Shit, Pengy.I let 'em go.
MR. BONIFACE Hermione.My canary.It's the dead of winter!
T-BONE They were all cooped up.With you leaving and all -- seemed like the humane thing to do. MR. BONIFACE I see.-- You might as well have this.I won't be needing it... T-BONE Well, thanks, Pengy.No hard feelings. (chuckling to himself) Y'know, I'm gonna miss that pudgy little ass of yours. MR. BONIFACE You won't miss it long. It's fifteen degrees outside as MR. BONIFACE -- aka THE PENGUIN -- waddles forth from the prison gates, regally attired in cutaway and pin-stripes.He pauses to inhale a deep lungful of the icy air; then, with a smile of exhilaration, he removes his coat and STRETCHES -- spreading his wings, REVELING in the cold.
FRICK Welcome back, Mr. Boniface.
PENGUIN Mr. Frick.Mr. Frack.Our years of planning are about to pay off. Now that he's loose, the PENGUIN's rapacious side is beginning to show.His eyes twinkle with greed as he contemplates his own ingenuity.
PENGUIN I take it they found the money all right?
FRACK We buried it exactly as you specified. $42,271,009...
PENGUIN How much have we got left?
FRICK Let's see -- an initial capitalization of 42 million and change, compounded over thirteen years, at an annual return of just under sixteen percent --
PENGUIN Fine, fine.How much?
FRICK Seventy-nine million.-- Excluding the sum we buried.
PENGUIN Speaking of burials... T-BONE on work detail.He's got the Walkman on and he's shoveling snow to the beat.He winces, and removes the headphones...
T-BONE HEY -- ! He lets out a HOWL and staggers through the prison yard in a frenzy.DOZENS of PIGEONS are pouring over the prison walls, SHRIEKING HIDEOUSLY, descending on him.He falls to the ground screaming for help, but the other prisoners run like rabbits, terrified...
ALFRED He won't hear a word of it from me.
VICKI He's such a nightmare to shop for.-- What do you get him year after year, Alfred?
ALFRED (conspiratorially) I find you can't go wrong with surveillance equipment.Let me put this under the tree...
VICKI Not so fast.
ALFRED Why, Miss Vale -- !
VOICE FROM BEHIND What's all this?
VICKI Don't look.It's your present.
BRUCE What'd you get me?Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
VICKI I'm going to give you the happiest Christmas you've ever had.
VICKI Homeless. (beat) I was just down here Tuesday.Seems like there's more every day. VICKI (cont.) Christmas time.And they say there's over a thousand people living in the park already.
BRUCE -- Yeah.
VICKI They're already razing the tenements and SRO's downtown.These people don't have anyplace else to go. (beat) If the city starts selling off the park...
BRUCE -- Yeah.I guess I'll pass on dessert.
VICKI (taking his hand) Bruce, you do a lot more than most people even dream of.
BRUCE Sure.Comes off the top of my taxes --
VICKI That's not what I meant.
BRUCE -- What I "do" doesn't come close to the root of the problem, Vicki. (long pause) I'm just a Band-Aid.
VOICE FROM BEHIND Bruce!It's been ages!
BRUCE Randall.You remember Vicki.-- How's the construction business?
SHAW The park tower?All systems go.If we can get the junkies and winos cleared out... (a big grin) Not too late to get in on the deal.
BRUCE I'll think about it.
SHAW Say, Walter Barrett's due back from Europe.We should all get together at the club. (clapping him on the shoulder) Nice to see you again,Miss Veal.
VICKI What a pig.
BRUCE I've known him since he was seven years old.He was a pig then too.
VICKI Now he wants to gobble up the park... (shivering) Bruce -- isn't there something you can do about people like that?
BRUCE What, tie him up with a bat-rope?
VICKI No, you idiot.I meant you.Bruce.
RED BERET I We were on patrol.Saw the whole thing.
JOGGER I was attacked.Three men in ski masks --
COP I (indicating the RED BERETS) And these two broke it up?
JOGGER These two??They ran like rabbits.I never saw anybody take off so --
RED BERET II Hey!Somebody had to go for the cops.
COP II You.SHUT UP, all right?? (to the JOGGER) Lady, who was it that bailed you out??
JOGGER A kid.Thirteen or fourteen tops.He just came out of nowhere and -- tore into 'em. (shaking her head) It was so quick I didn't even see his face. An exasperated COP leads the RED BERETS away from the crime site:
RED BERET I Dumb shit.Shouldn'ta been jogging in the park at night anyway. (sullenly) Look around you.It's fulla bums.
BRUCE Nice outfit.
RED BERET I Piss off, geek.
ANCHORWOMAN ...and tomorrow, the city's power elite will be turning out in force to greet millionaire industrialist Walter Barrett, who returns to Gotham after a five-year stay in Europe... Moments later, the owner of the high heels enters; she opens her black fur coat and unwraps her muffler, revealing exotic, vaguely Eurasian features.She's dark and elegant, fine- boned, regal of bearing -- and her name, though we don't know it yet, is SELINA KYLE.

ALFRED No, Mr. Wayne is in Thailand. I'm afraid he's quite unreachable.

VICKI I don't know why I'm doing this. I half wish you'd stay a cripple.

BRUCE Ohhhh... you don't mean that.

VICKI (grasping for words) I don't, but... I do. It's just... I love you, Bruce. I --

BRUCE (taking her hand) Vicki. Do you love half of me? Or all of me?

VICKI I guess you did it, didn't you. You saved everyone. (pause) Almost.

BRUCE I don't know how to explain this so it makes sense... but you saved me.

BATMAN 2

COP What the hell -- ? BRAKES SQUEAL.Several squad cars are now massed at the entrance to the park -- but there's one problem.The city's snow plows don't operate on the park roads -- and the entrance is blocked off with SAWHORSES reading "CLOSED TO TRAFFIC."A huge steep drift prevents them from entering -- and so all they can do is stand by helplessly, WATCHING as the snowmobiles vanish into the trees.

COP WITH MIKE Yeah, you heard me.Snowmobiles! (pause) So what do we do?Chase 'em on foot??

COP I ...That was Batman.

COP II NO SHIT!!

COP I ...Merry Christmas.

COP II Gift-wrapped and everything.

GORDON After a high-speed chase -- over $750,000 in precious jewels were recovered intact by the police force -- working in concert with Batman.

VOICES IN CROWD TAKE BACK THE STREETS!TAKE BACK THE STREETS!TAKE BACK THE -- GORDON waits for them to shut up, but they don't; so he grabs the mike and speaks slowly and distinctly, trying to be heard over the din.

GORDON I would like to stress -- that while this city enjoys a special relationship with Batman -- (louder) -- we do not condone vigilantism -- (practically screaming) -- IN ANY FORM.

SEKOWSKY And hey!Where does this -- (BLEEP; expletive deleted) -- Gordon get off calling us ? We're not breakin' any laws.We're a group of concerned citizens, that's all -- just like Batman.

WOMAN IN CROWD You people are nothing but hoodlums!

SEKOWSKY Hey, lady -- we're out here on patrol riskin' our necks to protect old biddies like you. (into mike) If this lame-o Gordon could do his job --

BRUCE I'm not deaf, Alfred.I hear you.

ALFRED I took the liberty of preparing tea. (indicating tbe monitors) I take it you've been watching the news?

BRUCE Yeah...lot of crazy people in this world.

ALFRED I should inform you...Christmas is approaching, and we've received our annual solicitation from the Fireman's Toy Fund. (eyeing the equipment) If I may inquire...?

BRUCE Oh, yeah.Watch this.

ALFRED Most ingenious, sir.What exactlyit?

BRUCE What does it look like?

ALFRED To the untrained eye, sir, it looks remarkably like...the skeleton of an umbrella.

BRUCE Good guess, Alfred.That's exactly right.

ALFRED Splendid, sir, and if I may say, I'm glad you're putting your time to such productive use. (beat) Now -- the Toy Fund.Our contribution last year was a half-million dollars...

BRUCE We can do better than that.

ALFRED Then there's the foster-parents program... the Gotham homeless crusade... ALFRED (cont.) Is something troubling you, sir?

BRUCE Yeah...the holidays, I guess.Always gets me thinking about... (he changes the subject) And to tell you the truth, I'm a little -- concerned about Vicki.

ALFRED (anxiously) Miss Vale, sir...?

BRUCE Yeah.I've been thinking about it lately. Thinking about it a lot... (gravely; shaking his head) ...and I still can't figure out what to get her for Christmas.

GUARD Up and at 'em, Pengy.-- Pengy? GUARD (cont.) Boniface...

PAROLE OFFICER You want to return the money you stole.

BONIFACE Intact.The map will show you where it's buried.

PAROLE OFFICER All of it.Forty-two million dollars.

PAROLE OFFICER II Why this sudden change of heart?

MR. BONIFACE Gentlemen, I want my debt to be repaid in full.I want to be a part of civilized society! (oozing sincerity) Prison life is not for me.The guilt, the fear, the constant shame...one meets a disturbingly low class of people.

PAROLE OFFICER II Sure, but -- forty-two million dollars??

WARDEN His record's clean.Thirteen years without an incident.

ATTORNEY I'd like to point out, my client's put his time to good use.A student of ornithology...articles published in several respected journals... MR. BONIFACE Birds, yes.My only source of solace.

PAROLE OFFICER In light of this rather extraordinary gesture, I see no reason not to endorse your application for parole.

BONIFACE Thank you, sir.You won't regret it.

MYNAH CRIME DOES NOT PAY.AAWWK!!CRIME DOES NOT PAY.

ATTORNEY Personally trained by my client. Free time -- the cell doors are open and the convicts are milling around in the common area.T-BONE, 220 lbs. of dumb, hulking beef, saunters up to his cell and finds his bunkmate, MR. BONIFACE, staring at a stack of EMPTY CAGES.BONIFACE whirls on him suddenly, his face beet-red, APOPLECTIC WITH RAGE:

MR. BONIFACE -- Where are my birds?!?

T-BONE Shit, Pengy.I let 'em go.

MR. BONIFACE Hermione.My canary.It's the dead of winter!

T-BONE They were all cooped up.With you leaving and all -- seemed like the humane thing to do. MR. BONIFACE I see.-- You might as well have this.I won't be needing it... T-BONE Well, thanks, Pengy.No hard feelings. (chuckling to himself) Y'know, I'm gonna miss that pudgy little ass of yours. MR. BONIFACE You won't miss it long. It's fifteen degrees outside as MR. BONIFACE -- aka THE PENGUIN -- waddles forth from the prison gates, regally attired in cutaway and pin-stripes.He pauses to inhale a deep lungful of the icy air; then, with a smile of exhilaration, he removes his coat and STRETCHES -- spreading his wings, REVELING in the cold.

FRICK Welcome back, Mr. Boniface.

PENGUIN Mr. Frick.Mr. Frack.Our years of planning are about to pay off. Now that he's loose, the PENGUIN's rapacious side is beginning to show.His eyes twinkle with greed as he contemplates his own ingenuity.

PENGUIN I take it they found the money all right?

FRACK We buried it exactly as you specified. $42,271,009...

PENGUIN How much have we got left?

FRICK Let's see -- an initial capitalization of 42 million and change, compounded over thirteen years, at an annual return of just under sixteen percent --

PENGUIN Fine, fine.How much?

FRICK Seventy-nine million.-- Excluding the sum we buried.

PENGUIN Speaking of burials... T-BONE on work detail.He's got the Walkman on and he's shoveling snow to the beat.He winces, and removes the headphones...

T-BONE HEY -- ! He lets out a HOWL and staggers through the prison yard in a frenzy.DOZENS of PIGEONS are pouring over the prison walls, SHRIEKING HIDEOUSLY, descending on him.He falls to the ground screaming for help, but the other prisoners run like rabbits, terrified...

ALFRED He won't hear a word of it from me.

VICKI He's such a nightmare to shop for.-- What do you get him year after year, Alfred?

ALFRED (conspiratorially) I find you can't go wrong with surveillance equipment.Let me put this under the tree...

VICKI Not so fast.

ALFRED Why, Miss Vale -- !

VOICE FROM BEHIND What's all this?

VICKI Don't look.It's your present.

BRUCE What'd you get me?Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?

VICKI I'm going to give you the happiest Christmas you've ever had.

VICKI Homeless. (beat) I was just down here Tuesday.Seems like there's more every day. VICKI (cont.) Christmas time.And they say there's over a thousand people living in the park already.

BRUCE -- Yeah.

VICKI They're already razing the tenements and SRO's downtown.These people don't have anyplace else to go. (beat) If the city starts selling off the park...

BRUCE -- Yeah.I guess I'll pass on dessert.

VICKI (taking his hand) Bruce, you do a lot more than most people even dream of.

BRUCE Sure.Comes off the top of my taxes --

VICKI That's not what I meant.

BRUCE -- What I "do" doesn't come close to the root of the problem, Vicki. (long pause) I'm just a Band-Aid.

VOICE FROM BEHIND Bruce!It's been ages!

BRUCE Randall.You remember Vicki.-- How's the construction business?

SHAW The park tower?All systems go.If we can get the junkies and winos cleared out... (a big grin) Not too late to get in on the deal.

BRUCE I'll think about it.

SHAW Say, Walter Barrett's due back from Europe.We should all get together at the club. (clapping him on the shoulder) Nice to see you again,Miss Veal.

VICKI What a pig.

BRUCE I've known him since he was seven years old.He was a pig then too.

VICKI Now he wants to gobble up the park... (shivering) Bruce -- isn't there something you can do about people like that?

BRUCE What, tie him up with a bat-rope?

VICKI No, you idiot.I meant you.Bruce.

RED BERET I We were on patrol.Saw the whole thing.

JOGGER I was attacked.Three men in ski masks --

COP I (indicating the RED BERETS) And these two broke it up?

JOGGER These two??They ran like rabbits.I never saw anybody take off so --

RED BERET II Hey!Somebody had to go for the cops.

COP II You.SHUT UP, all right?? (to the JOGGER) Lady, who was it that bailed you out??

JOGGER A kid.Thirteen or fourteen tops.He just came out of nowhere and -- tore into 'em. (shaking her head) It was so quick I didn't even see his face. An exasperated COP leads the RED BERETS away from the crime site:

RED BERET I Dumb shit.Shouldn'ta been jogging in the park at night anyway. (sullenly) Look around you.It's fulla bums.

BRUCE Nice outfit.

RED BERET I Piss off, geek.

ANCHORWOMAN ...and tomorrow, the city's power elite will be turning out in force to greet millionaire industrialist Walter Barrett, who returns to Gotham after a five-year stay in Europe... Moments later, the owner of the high heels enters; she opens her black fur coat and unwraps her muffler, revealing exotic, vaguely Eurasian features.She's dark and elegant, fine- boned, regal of bearing -- and her name, though we don't know it yet, is SELINA KYLE.