I Woke Up Early the Day I Died
I Woke Up Early the Day I Died is a 1998 American camp black comedy film, based on a unproduced screenplay written by Edward D. Wood Jr. in 1974. Wood originally wrote the script in 1961 as Silent Night, then rewrote it in 1974 as I Awoke Early the Day I Died, but he died before he could get it filmed. The 1998 film, directed by Aris Iliopulos, stars Billy Zane, Tippi Hedren, Ron Perlman, Sandra Bernhard, Karen Black, Eartha Kitt, Summer Phoenix, and Christina Ricci, among many others who appear in cameos. The film has no dialogue, containing only atmospheric sounds, alternating bursts of laughter, and screams. Several of Ed Wood's old friends from the 1950s were featured in bit parts, including Maila Nurmi, Conrad Brooks, David Ward and Wood's widow Kathy O'Hara Wood. Plot Overpowering a nurse and dressing in her clothes, a madman escapes from the Casa de la Loco Sanitarium. The Thief then goes on a crime spree that nets him a gun, a car, a fortune in stolen cash, and one dead loan office manager. As he escapes the murder scene, he comes upon a forbidden cemetery just as a burial is taking place, replete with bagpipe music and a bizarre ceremony employing tuning forks and strange icons. As the undertaker, the caretaker, and an odd assortment of mourners leave the service, The Thief peers into the coffin, thinking it is a good place to hide his briefcase full of ill-gotten gains. As he strikes the tuning fork that is buried with the robe-draped skeleton, bagpipe music fills the air and throws him into convulsions. The coffin lid slams shut, locking his money inside, and The Thief is thrown into an open grave, knocking himself unconscious. When he awakens, he sets off to track down everyone who had been present at the funeral in an attempt to find his missing cash, killing anyone who gets in his way. Cast Billy Zane as The Thief Ron Perlman as Cemetery Caretaker Tippi Hedren as Maylinda Austed / Professional Mourner Andrew McCarthy as Cop Will Patton as Preacher Carel Struycken as Undertaker Max Perlich as Assistant Undertaker John Ritter as Robert Forrest / Professional Mourner Karen Black as Honey Child Sandra Bernhard as Sandy Sands / Professional Mourner and Stripper Eartha Kitt as Cult Leader Ann Magnuson as Loan Secretary Abraham Benrubi as Bouncer Christina Ricci as Teenage Hooker Jonathan Taylor Thomas as Boy At Beach Michael Greene as Tom Harris, Professional Mourner / Barfly Roberta Hanley as Housewife Rain Phoenix as Bartender #1 Summer Phoenix as Bartender #2 / Girl At The Beach Tara Reid as Prom Queen / Nightclub Bartender David Ward as Cruiser Cop #1 Rick Schroder as Cruiser Cop #2 Nicollette Sheridan as Ballroom Woman Gregory Sporleder as Loan Manager Steven Weber as Policeman In Alley Kathleen O'Hara Wood as Woman At Carnival Billie Worley as Fat Taxi Driver Lee Arenberg as Parking Lot Attendant Mark Boone Junior as Cop #3 Conrad Brooks as