Vampires Suck
Vampires Suck is a 2010 American parody film written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. It stars Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Christopher N. Riggi, Ken Jeong, Anneliese van der Pol, and Arielle Kebbel. The film is a parody of The Twilight Saga franchise (mainly the original film and its sequel, New Moon). Like the previous Friedberg and Seltzer movies, the film was panned by critics for its humor and plot. 20th Century Fox theatrically released the film on August 18, 2010. Plot Edward Sullen strips off his clothes during the saint Salvatore festival while Becca Crane rushes to stop him. While running through a fountain, she accidentally splashes water around, causing people to party in the fountain and thus stopping Becca. In a flashback, Becca Crane moves to the Pacific Northwestern town of Sporks to live with her clueless father, Sheriff Frank, after her mother starts an affair with Tiger Woods. Meanwhile, a killing spree is attributed to the Canadians, but the real perpetrators are a group of vampires usually mistaken for the Black Eyed Peas. Becca quickly befriends many students at her new high school, including Jennifer. She is also intrigued by the mysterious and aloof Edward Sullen, whose odd behavior perplexes her during their biology class. Later, when Becca is nearly struck by a van in the school parking lot, Edward stops the vehicle by thrusting another student in the van's way. Becca later "dreams" Edward was in her room; in truth he is, but is repulsed by things she does while sleeping. After much research and thought, Becca confronts Edward and tells him she thinks that he is one of the Jonas Brothers. Edward corrects her, saying he is a vampire but that he only consumes animal blood. Despite the danger of being around a vampire, Becca agrees to go to prom with Edward. Later, Becca and Edward kiss passionately in her room. Becca attempts to seduce Edward into having sex, but he abstains. On Becca's birthday, Edward introduces her to his vampire family. While unwrapping a gift, Becca gets a paper cut. Edward's brother Jeremiah attempts to bite her, but is knocked away. To keep his family away from Becca, Edward distracts them and takes her out to the woods. He then proceeds to break up with Becca, who throws a tantrum after he leaves. Much to her expectance, Becca is attacked by three nomadic vampires, but Edward intervenes and saves her. Edward's departure leaves Becca heartbroken for months, but she is comforted by her deepening friendship with her childhood friend Jacob White. When Becca is accosted in the woods by the nomadic vampires again, Jacob transforms into a Chihuahua as his werewolf pack arrives to save her. Meanwhile, Edward has moved to Rio and is now dating Lady Gaga to get over losing Becca. He is later informed by his sister Iris, via her gift of prophecy, that Becca killed herself. Edward becomes depressed and decides to provoke the "Zolturi", a powerful and