Book III. The Sensualists Chapter I. In The Servants' Quarters

The Karamazovs' house was far from being in the center of the town, but it
was not quite outside it. It was a pleasant-looking old house of two
stories, painted gray, with a red iron roof. It was roomy and snug, and
might still last many years. There were all sorts of unexpected little
cupboards and closets and staircases. There were rats in it, but Fyodor
Pavlovitch did not altogether dislike them. "One doesn't feel so solitary
when one's left alone in the evening," he used to say. It was his habit to
send the servants away to the lodge for the night and to lock himself up
alone. The lodge was a roomy and solid building in the yard. Fyodor
Pavlovitch used to have the cooking done there, although there was a
kitchen in the house; he did not like the smell of cooking, and, winter
and summer alike, the dishes were carried in across the courtyard. The
house was built for a large family; there was room for five times as many,
with their servants. But at the time of our story there was no one living
in the house but Fyodor Pavlovitch and his son Ivan. And in the lodge
there were only three servants: old Grigory, and his old wife Marfa, and a
young man called Smerdyakov. Of these three we must say a few words. Of
old Grigory we have said something already. He was firm and determined and
went blindly and obstinately for his object, if once he had been brought
by any reasons (and they were often very illogical ones) to believe that
it was immutably right. He was honest and incorruptible. His wife, Marfa
Ignatyevna, had obeyed her husband's will implicitly all her life, yet she
had pestered him terribly after the emancipation of the serfs. She was set
on leaving Fyodor Pavlovitch and opening a little shop in Moscow with
their small savings. But Grigory decided then, once for all, that "the
woman's talking nonsense, for every woman is dishonest," and that they
ought not to leave their old master, whatever he might be, for "that was
now their duty."

"Do you understand what duty is?" he asked Marfa Ignatyevna.

"I understand what duty means, Grigory Vassilyevitch, but why it's our
duty to stay here I never shall understand," Marfa answered firmly.

"Well, don't understand then. But so it shall be. And you hold your
tongue."

And so it was. They did not go away, and Fyodor Pavlovitch promised them a
small sum for wages, and paid it regularly. Grigory knew, too, that he had
an indisputable influence over his master. It was true, and he was aware
of it. Fyodor Pavlovitch was an obstinate and cunning buffoon, yet, though
his will was strong enough "in some of the affairs of life," as he
expressed it, he found himself, to his surprise, extremely feeble in
facing certain other emergencies. He knew his weaknesses and was afraid of
them. There are positions in which one has to keep a sharp look out. And
that's not easy without a trustworthy man, and Grigory was a most
trustworthy man. Many times in the course of his life Fyodor Pavlovitch
had only just escaped a sound thrashing through Grigory's intervention,
and on each occasion the old servant gave him a good lecture. But it
wasn't only thrashings that Fyodor Pavlovitch was afraid of. There were
graver occasions, and very subtle and complicated ones, when Fyodor
Pavlovitch could not have explained the extraordinary craving for some one
faithful and devoted, which sometimes unaccountably came upon him all in a
moment. It was almost a morbid condition. Corrupt and often cruel in his
lust, like some noxious insect, Fyodor Pavlovitch was sometimes, in
moments of drunkenness, overcome by superstitious terror and a moral
convulsion which took an almost physical form. "My soul's simply quaking
in my throat at those times," he used to say. At such moments he liked to
feel that there was near at hand, in the lodge if not in the room, a
strong, faithful man, virtuous and unlike himself, who had seen all his
debauchery and knew all his secrets, but was ready in his devotion to
overlook all that, not to oppose him, above all, not to reproach him or
threaten him with anything, either in this world or in the next, and, in
case of need, to defend him--from whom? From somebody unknown, but terrible
and dangerous. What he needed was to feel that there was _another_ man, an
old and tried friend, that he might call him in his sick moments merely to
look at his face, or, perhaps, exchange some quite irrelevant words with
him. And if the old servant were not angry, he felt comforted, and if he
were angry, he was more dejected. It happened even (very rarely however)
that Fyodor Pavlovitch went at night to the lodge to wake Grigory and
fetch him for a moment. When the old man came, Fyodor Pavlovitch would
begin talking about the most trivial matters, and would soon let him go
again, sometimes even with a jest. And after he had gone, Fyodor
Pavlovitch would get into bed with a curse and sleep the sleep of the
just. Something of the same sort had happened to Fyodor Pavlovitch on
Alyosha's arrival. Alyosha "pierced his heart" by "living with him, seeing
everything and blaming nothing." Moreover, Alyosha brought with him
something his father had never known before: a complete absence of
contempt for him and an invariable kindness, a perfectly natural
unaffected devotion to the old man who deserved it so little. All this was
a complete surprise to the old profligate, who had dropped all family
ties. It was a new and surprising experience for him, who had till then
loved nothing but "evil." When Alyosha had left him, he confessed to
himself that he had learnt something he had not till then been willing to
learn.

I have mentioned already that Grigory had detested Adelaida Ivanovna, the
first wife of Fyodor Pavlovitch and the mother of Dmitri, and that he had,
on the contrary, protected Sofya Ivanovna, the poor "crazy woman," against
his master and any one who chanced to speak ill or lightly of her. His
sympathy for the unhappy wife had become something sacred to him, so that
even now, twenty years after, he could not bear a slighting allusion to
her from any one, and would at once check the offender. Externally,
Grigory was cold, dignified and taciturn, and spoke, weighing his words,
without frivolity. It was impossible to tell at first sight whether he
loved his meek, obedient wife; but he really did love her, and she knew
it.

Marfa Ignatyevna was by no means foolish; she was probably, indeed,
cleverer than her husband, or, at least, more prudent than he in worldly
affairs, and yet she had given in to him in everything without question or
complaint ever since her marriage, and respected him for his spiritual
superiority. It was remarkable how little they spoke to one another in the
course of their lives, and only of the most necessary daily affairs. The
grave and dignified Grigory thought over all his cares and duties alone,
so that Marfa Ignatyevna had long grown used to knowing that he did not
need her advice. She felt that her husband respected her silence, and took
it as a sign of her good sense. He had never beaten her but once, and then
only slightly. Once during the year after Fyodor Pavlovitch's marriage
with Adelaida Ivanovna, the village girls and women--at that time
serfs--were called together before the house to sing and dance. They were
beginning "In the Green Meadows," when Marfa, at that time a young woman,
skipped forward and danced "the Russian Dance," not in the village
fashion, but as she had danced it when she was a servant in the service of
the rich Miuesov family, in their private theater, where the actors were
taught to dance by a dancing master from Moscow. Grigory saw how his wife
danced, and, an hour later, at home in their cottage he gave her a lesson,
pulling her hair a little. But there it ended: the beating was never
repeated, and Marfa Ignatyevna gave up dancing.

God had not blessed them with children. One child was born but it died.
Grigory was fond of children, and was not ashamed of showing it. When
Adelaida Ivanovna had run away, Grigory took Dmitri, then a child of three
years old, combed his hair and washed him in a tub with his own hands, and
looked after him for almost a year. Afterwards he had looked after Ivan
and Alyosha, for which the general's widow had rewarded him with a slap in
the face; but I have already related all that. The only happiness his own
child had brought him had been in the anticipation of its birth. When it
was born, he was overwhelmed with grief and horror. The baby had six
fingers. Grigory was so crushed by this, that he was not only silent till
the day of the christening, but kept away in the garden. It was spring,
and he spent three days digging the kitchen garden. The third day was
fixed for christening the baby: mean-time Grigory had reached a
conclusion. Going into the cottage where the clergy were assembled and the
visitors had arrived, including Fyodor Pavlovitch, who was to stand god-
father, he suddenly announced that the baby "ought not to be christened at
all." He announced this quietly, briefly, forcing out his words, and
gazing with dull intentness at the priest.

"Why not?" asked the priest with good-humored surprise.

"Because it's a dragon," muttered Grigory.

"A dragon? What dragon?"

Grigory did not speak for some time. "It's a confusion of nature," he
muttered vaguely, but firmly, and obviously unwilling to say more.

They laughed, and of course christened the poor baby. Grigory prayed
earnestly at the font, but his opinion of the new-born child remained
unchanged. Yet he did not interfere in any way. As long as the sickly
infant lived he scarcely looked at it, tried indeed not to notice it, and
for the most part kept out of the cottage. But when, at the end of a
fortnight, the baby died of thrush, he himself laid the child in its
little coffin, looked at it in profound grief, and when they were filling
up the shallow little grave he fell on his knees and bowed down to the
earth. He did not for years afterwards mention his child, nor did Marfa
speak of the baby before him, and, even if Grigory were not present, she
never spoke of it above a whisper. Marfa observed that, from the day of
the burial, he devoted himself to "religion," and took to reading the
_Lives of the Saints_, for the most part sitting alone and in silence, and
always putting on his big, round, silver-rimmed spectacles. He rarely read
aloud, only perhaps in Lent. He was fond of the Book of Job, and had
somehow got hold of a copy of the sayings and sermons of "the God-fearing
Father Isaac the Syrian," which he read persistently for years together,
understanding very little of it, but perhaps prizing and loving it the
more for that. Of late he had begun to listen to the doctrines of the sect
of Flagellants settled in the neighborhood. He was evidently shaken by
them, but judged it unfitting to go over to the new faith. His habit of
theological reading gave him an expression of still greater gravity.

He was perhaps predisposed to mysticism. And the birth of his deformed
child, and its death, had, as though by special design, been accompanied
by another strange and marvelous event, which, as he said later, had left
a "stamp" upon his soul. It happened that, on the very night after the
burial of his child, Marfa was awakened by the wail of a new-born baby.
She was frightened and waked her husband. He listened and said he thought
it was more like some one groaning, "it might be a woman." He got up and
dressed. It was a rather warm night in May. As he went down the steps, he
distinctly heard groans coming from the garden. But the gate from the yard
into the garden was locked at night, and there was no other way of
entering it, for it was enclosed all round by a strong, high fence. Going
back into the house, Grigory lighted a lantern, took the garden key, and
taking no notice of the hysterical fears of his wife, who was still
persuaded that she heard a child crying, and that it was her own baby
crying and calling for her, went into the garden in silence. There he
heard at once that the groans came from the bath-house that stood near the
garden gate, and that they were the groans of a woman. Opening the door of
the bath-house, he saw a sight which petrified him. An idiot girl, who
wandered about the streets and was known to the whole town by the nickname
of Lizaveta Smerdyastchaya (Stinking Lizaveta), had got into the bath-
house and had just given birth to a child. She lay dying with the baby
beside her. She said nothing, for she had never been able to speak. But
her story needs a chapter to itself.

Chapter II. Lizaveta

There was one circumstance which struck Grigory particularly, and
confirmed a very unpleasant and revolting suspicion. This Lizaveta was a
dwarfish creature, "not five foot within a wee bit," as many of the pious
old women said pathetically about her, after her death. Her broad,
healthy, red face had a look of blank idiocy and the fixed stare in her
eyes was unpleasant, in spite of their meek expression. She wandered
about, summer and winter alike, barefooted, wearing nothing but a hempen
smock. Her coarse, almost black hair curled like lamb's wool, and formed a
sort of huge cap on her head. It was always crusted with mud, and had
leaves, bits of stick, and shavings clinging to it, as she always slept on
the ground and in the dirt. Her father, a homeless, sickly drunkard,
called Ilya, had lost everything and lived many years as a workman with
some well-to-do tradespeople. Her mother had long been dead. Spiteful and
diseased, Ilya used to beat Lizaveta inhumanly whenever she returned to
him. But she rarely did so, for every one in the town was ready to look
after her as being an idiot, and so specially dear to God. Ilya's
employers, and many others in the town, especially of the tradespeople,
tried to clothe her better, and always rigged her out with high boots and
sheepskin coat for the winter. But, although she allowed them to dress her
up without resisting, she usually went away, preferably to the cathedral
porch, and taking off all that had been given her--kerchief, sheepskin,
skirt or boots--she left them there and walked away barefoot in her smock
as before. It happened on one occasion that a new governor of the
province, making a tour of inspection in our town, saw Lizaveta, and was
wounded in his tenderest susceptibilities. And though he was told she was
an idiot, he pronounced that for a young woman of twenty to wander about
in nothing but a smock was a breach of the proprieties, and must not occur
again. But the governor went his way, and Lizaveta was left as she was. At
last her father died, which made her even more acceptable in the eyes of
the religious persons of the town, as an orphan. In fact, every one seemed
to like her; even the boys did not tease her, and the boys of our town,
especially the schoolboys, are a mischievous set. She would walk into
strange houses, and no one drove her away. Every one was kind to her and
gave her something. If she were given a copper, she would take it, and at
once drop it in the alms-jug of the church or prison. If she were given a
roll or bun in the market, she would hand it to the first child she met.
Sometimes she would stop one of the richest ladies in the town and give it
to her, and the lady would be pleased to take it. She herself never tasted
anything but black bread and water. If she went into an expensive shop,
where there were costly goods or money lying about, no one kept watch on
her, for they knew that if she saw thousands of roubles overlooked by
them, she would not have touched a farthing. She scarcely ever went to
church. She slept either in the church porch or climbed over a hurdle
(there are many hurdles instead of fences to this day in our town) into a
kitchen garden. She used at least once a week to turn up "at home," that
is at the house of her father's former employers, and in the winter went
there every night, and slept either in the passage or the cowhouse. People
were amazed that she could stand such a life, but she was accustomed to
it, and, although she was so tiny, she was of a robust constitution. Some
of the townspeople declared that she did all this only from pride, but
that is hardly credible. She could hardly speak, and only from time to
time uttered an inarticulate grunt. How could she have been proud?

It happened one clear, warm, moonlight night in September (many years ago)
five or six drunken revelers were returning from the club at a very late
hour, according to our provincial notions. They passed through the "back-
way," which led between the back gardens of the houses, with hurdles on
either side. This way leads out on to the bridge over the long, stinking
pool which we were accustomed to call a river. Among the nettles and
burdocks under the hurdle our revelers saw Lizaveta asleep. They stopped
to look at her, laughing, and began jesting with unbridled licentiousness.
It occurred to one young gentleman to make the whimsical inquiry whether
any one could possibly look upon such an animal as a woman, and so
forth.... They all pronounced with lofty repugnance that it was
impossible. But Fyodor Pavlovitch, who was among them, sprang forward and
declared that it was by no means impossible, and that, indeed, there was a
certain piquancy about it, and so on.... It is true that at that time he
was overdoing his part as a buffoon. He liked to put himself forward and
entertain the company, ostensibly on equal terms, of course, though in
reality he was on a servile footing with them. It was just at the time
when he had received the news of his first wife's death in Petersburg,
and, with crape upon his hat, was drinking and behaving so shamelessly
that even the most reckless among us were shocked at the sight of him. The
revelers, of course, laughed at this unexpected opinion; and one of them
even began challenging him to act upon it. The others repelled the idea
even more emphatically, although still with the utmost hilarity, and at
last they went on their way. Later on, Fyodor Pavlovitch swore that he had
gone with them, and perhaps it was so, no one knows for certain, and no
one ever knew. But five or six months later, all the town was talking,
with intense and sincere indignation, of Lizaveta's condition, and trying
to find out who was the miscreant who had wronged her. Then suddenly a
terrible rumor was all over the town that this miscreant was no other than
Fyodor Pavlovitch. Who set the rumor going? Of that drunken band five had
left the town and the only one still among us was an elderly and much
respected civil councilor, the father of grown-up daughters, who could
hardly have spread the tale, even if there had been any foundation for it.
But rumor pointed straight at Fyodor Pavlovitch, and persisted in pointing
at him. Of course this was no great grievance to him: he would not have
troubled to contradict a set of tradespeople. In those days he was proud,
and did not condescend to talk except in his own circle of the officials
and nobles, whom he entertained so well.

At the time, Grigory stood up for his master vigorously. He provoked
quarrels and altercations in defense of him and succeeded in bringing some
people round to his side. "It's the wench's own fault," he asserted, and
the culprit was Karp, a dangerous convict, who had escaped from prison and
whose name was well known to us, as he had hidden in our town. This
conjecture sounded plausible, for it was remembered that Karp had been in
the neighborhood just at that time in the autumn, and had robbed three
people. But this affair and all the talk about it did not estrange popular
sympathy from the poor idiot. She was better looked after than ever. A
well-to-do merchant's widow named Kondratyev arranged to take her into her
house at the end of April, meaning not to let her go out until after the
confinement. They kept a constant watch over her, but in spite of their
vigilance she escaped on the very last day, and made her way into Fyodor
Pavlovitch's garden. How, in her condition, she managed to climb over the
high, strong fence remained a mystery. Some maintained that she must have
been lifted over by somebody; others hinted at something more uncanny. The
most likely explanation is that it happened naturally--that Lizaveta,
accustomed to clambering over hurdles to sleep in gardens, had somehow
managed to climb this fence, in spite of her condition, and had leapt
down, injuring herself.

Grigory rushed to Marfa and sent her to Lizaveta, while he ran to fetch an
old midwife who lived close by. They saved the baby, but Lizaveta died at
dawn. Grigory took the baby, brought it home, and making his wife sit
down, put it on her lap. "A child of God--an orphan is akin to all," he
said, "and to us above others. Our little lost one has sent us this, who
has come from the devil's son and a holy innocent. Nurse him and weep no
more."

So Marfa brought up the child. He was christened Pavel, to which people
were not slow in adding Fyodorovitch (son of Fyodor). Fyodor Pavlovitch
did not object to any of this, and thought it amusing, though he persisted
vigorously in denying his responsibility. The townspeople were pleased at
his adopting the foundling. Later on, Fyodor Pavlovitch invented a surname
for the child, calling him Smerdyakov, after his mother's nickname.

So this Smerdyakov became Fyodor Pavlovitch's second servant, and was
living in the lodge with Grigory and Marfa at the time our story begins.
He was employed as cook. I ought to say something of this Smerdyakov, but
I am ashamed of keeping my readers' attention so long occupied with these
common menials, and I will go back to my story, hoping to say more of
Smerdyakov in the course of it.

Chapter III. The Confession Of A Passionate Heart--In Verse

Alyosha remained for some time irresolute after hearing the command his
father shouted to him from the carriage. But in spite of his uneasiness he
did not stand still. That was not his way. He went at once to the kitchen
to find out what his father had been doing above. Then he set off,
trusting that on the way he would find some answer to the doubt tormenting
him. I hasten to add that his father's shouts, commanding him to return
home "with his mattress and pillow" did not frighten him in the least. He
understood perfectly that those peremptory shouts were merely "a flourish"
to produce an effect. In the same way a tradesman in our town who was
celebrating his name-day with a party of friends, getting angry at being
refused more vodka, smashed up his own crockery and furniture and tore his
own and his wife's clothes, and finally broke his windows, all for the
sake of effect. Next day, of course, when he was sober, he regretted the
broken cups and saucers. Alyosha knew that his father would let him go
back to the monastery next day, possibly even that evening. Moreover, he
was fully persuaded that his father might hurt any one else, but would not
hurt him. Alyosha was certain that no one in the whole world ever would
want to hurt him, and, what is more, he knew that no one could hurt him.
This was for him an axiom, assumed once for all without question, and he
went his way without hesitation, relying on it.

But at that moment an anxiety of a different sort disturbed him, and
worried him the more because he could not formulate it. It was the fear of
a woman, of Katerina Ivanovna, who had so urgently entreated him in the
note handed to him by Madame Hohlakov to come and see her about something.
This request and the necessity of going had at once aroused an uneasy
feeling in his heart, and this feeling had grown more and more painful all
the morning in spite of the scenes at the hermitage and at the Father
Superior's. He was not uneasy because he did not know what she would speak
of and what he must answer. And he was not afraid of her simply as a
woman. Though he knew little of women, he had spent his life, from early
childhood till he entered the monastery, entirely with women. He was
afraid of that woman, Katerina Ivanovna. He had been afraid of her from
the first time he saw her. He had only seen her two or three times, and
had only chanced to say a few words to her. He thought of her as a
beautiful, proud, imperious girl. It was not her beauty which troubled
him, but something else. And the vagueness of his apprehension increased
the apprehension itself. The girl's aims were of the noblest, he knew
that. She was trying to save his brother Dmitri simply through generosity,
though he had already behaved badly to her. Yet, although Alyosha
recognized and did justice to all these fine and generous sentiments, a
shiver began to run down his back as soon as he drew near her house.

He reflected that he would not find Ivan, who was so intimate a friend,
with her, for Ivan was certainly now with his father. Dmitri he was even
more certain not to find there, and he had a foreboding of the reason. And
so his conversation would be with her alone. He had a great longing to run
and see his brother Dmitri before that fateful interview. Without showing
him the letter, he could talk to him about it. But Dmitri lived a long way
off, and he was sure to be away from home too. Standing still for a
minute, he reached a final decision. Crossing himself with a rapid and
accustomed gesture, and at once smiling, he turned resolutely in the
direction of his terrible lady.

He knew her house. If he went by the High Street and then across the
market-place, it was a long way round. Though our town is small, it is
scattered, and the houses are far apart. And meanwhile his father was
expecting him, and perhaps had not yet forgotten his command. He might be
unreasonable, and so he had to make haste to get there and back. So he
decided to take a short cut by the back-way, for he knew every inch of the
ground. This meant skirting fences, climbing over hurdles, and crossing
other people's back-yards, where every one he met knew him and greeted
him. In this way he could reach the High Street in half the time.

He had to pass the garden adjoining his father's, and belonging to a
little tumbledown house with four windows. The owner of this house, as
Alyosha knew, was a bedridden old woman, living with her daughter, who had
been a genteel maid-servant in generals' families in Petersburg. Now she
had been at home a year, looking after her sick mother. She always dressed
up in fine clothes, though her old mother and she had sunk into such
poverty that they went every day to Fyodor Pavlovitch's kitchen for soup
and bread, which Marfa gave readily. Yet, though the young woman came up
for soup, she had never sold any of her dresses, and one of these even had
a long train--a fact which Alyosha had learned from Rakitin, who always
knew everything that was going on in the town. He had forgotten it as soon
as he heard it, but now, on reaching the garden, he remembered the dress
with the train, raised his head, which had been bowed in thought, and came
upon something quite unexpected.

Over the hurdle in the garden, Dmitri, mounted on something, was leaning
forward, gesticulating violently, beckoning to him, obviously afraid to
utter a word for fear of being overheard. Alyosha ran up to the hurdle.

"It's a good thing you looked up. I was nearly shouting to you," Mitya
said in a joyful, hurried whisper. "Climb in here quickly! How splendid
that you've come! I was just thinking of you!"

Alyosha was delighted too, but he did not know how to get over the hurdle.
Mitya put his powerful hand under his elbow to help him jump. Tucking up
his cassock, Alyosha leapt over the hurdle with the agility of a bare-
legged street urchin.

"Well done! Now come along," said Mitya in an enthusiastic whisper.

"Where?" whispered Alyosha, looking about him and finding himself in a
deserted garden with no one near but themselves. The garden was small, but
the house was at least fifty paces away.

"There's no one here. Why do you whisper?" asked Alyosha.

"Why do I whisper? Deuce take it!" cried Dmitri at the top of his voice.
"You see what silly tricks nature plays one. I am here in secret, and on
the watch. I'll explain later on, but, knowing it's a secret, I began
whispering like a fool, when there's no need. Let us go. Over there. Till
then be quiet. I want to kiss you.

    Glory to God in the world,
    Glory to God in me ...

I was just repeating that, sitting here, before you came."

The garden was about three acres in extent, and planted with trees only
along the fence at the four sides. There were apple-trees, maples, limes
and birch-trees. The middle of the garden was an empty grass space, from
which several hundredweight of hay was carried in the summer. The garden
was let out for a few roubles for the summer. There were also plantations
of raspberries and currants and gooseberries laid out along the sides; a
kitchen garden had been planted lately near the house.

Dmitri led his brother to the most secluded corner of the garden. There,
in a thicket of lime-trees and old bushes of black currant, elder,
snowball-tree, and lilac, there stood a tumble-down green summer-house,
blackened with age. Its walls were of lattice-work, but there was still a
roof which could give shelter. God knows when this summer-house was built.
There was a tradition that it had been put up some fifty years before by a
retired colonel called von Schmidt, who owned the house at that time. It
was all in decay, the floor was rotting, the planks were loose, the
woodwork smelled musty. In the summer-house there was a green wooden table
fixed in the ground, and round it were some green benches upon which it
was still possible to sit. Alyosha had at once observed his brother's
exhilarated condition, and on entering the arbor he saw half a bottle of
brandy and a wineglass on the table.

"That's brandy," Mitya laughed. "I see your look: 'He's drinking again!'
Distrust the apparition.

    Distrust the worthless, lying crowd,
    And lay aside thy doubts.

I'm not drinking, I'm only 'indulging,' as that pig, your Rakitin, says.
He'll be a civil councilor one day, but he'll always talk about
'indulging.' Sit down. I could take you in my arms, Alyosha, and press you
to my bosom till I crush you, for in the whole world--in reality--in re-al-
i-ty--(can you take it in?) I love no one but you!"

He uttered the last words in a sort of exaltation.

"No one but you and one 'jade' I have fallen in love with, to my ruin. But
being in love doesn't mean loving. You may be in love with a woman and yet
hate her. Remember that! I can talk about it gayly still. Sit down here by
the table and I'll sit beside you and look at you, and go on talking. You
shall keep quiet and I'll go on talking, for the time has come. But on
reflection, you know, I'd better speak quietly, for here--here--you can
never tell what ears are listening. I will explain everything; as they
say, 'the story will be continued.' Why have I been longing for you? Why
have I been thirsting for you all these days, and just now? (It's five
days since I've cast anchor here.) Because it's only to you I can tell
everything; because I must, because I need you, because to-morrow I shall
fly from the clouds, because to-morrow life is ending and beginning. Have
you ever felt, have you ever dreamt of falling down a precipice into a
pit? That's just how I'm falling, but not in a dream. And I'm not afraid,
and don't you be afraid. At least, I am afraid, but I enjoy it. It's not
enjoyment though, but ecstasy. Damn it all, whatever it is! A strong
spirit, a weak spirit, a womanish spirit--whatever it is! Let us praise
nature: you see what sunshine, how clear the sky is, the leaves are all
green, it's still summer; four o'clock in the afternoon and the stillness!
Where were you going?"

"I was going to father's, but I meant to go to Katerina Ivanovna's first."

"To her, and to father! Oo! what a coincidence! Why was I waiting for you?
Hungering and thirsting for you in every cranny of my soul and even in my
ribs? Why, to send you to father and to her, Katerina Ivanovna, so as to
have done with her and with father. To send an angel. I might have sent
any one, but I wanted to send an angel. And here you are on your way to
see father and her."

"Did you really mean to send me?" cried Alyosha with a distressed
expression.

"Stay! You knew it! And I see you understand it all at once. But be quiet,
be quiet for a time. Don't be sorry, and don't cry."

Dmitri stood up, thought a moment, and put his finger to his forehead.

"She's asked you, written to you a letter or something, that's why you're
going to her? You wouldn't be going except for that?"

"Here is her note." Alyosha took it out of his pocket. Mitya looked
through it quickly.

"And you were going the back-way! Oh, gods, I thank you for sending him by
the back-way, and he came to me like the golden fish to the silly old
fishermen in the fable! Listen, Alyosha, listen, brother! Now I mean to
tell you everything, for I must tell some one. An angel in heaven I've
told already; but I want to tell an angel on earth. You are an angel on
earth. You will hear and judge and forgive. And that's what I need, that
some one above me should forgive. Listen! If two people break away from
everything on earth and fly off into the unknown, or at least one of them,
and before flying off or going to ruin he comes to some one else and says,
'Do this for me'--some favor never asked before that could only be asked on
one's deathbed--would that other refuse, if he were a friend or a brother?"

"I will do it, but tell me what it is, and make haste," said Alyosha.

"Make haste! H'm!... Don't be in a hurry, Alyosha, you hurry and worry
yourself. There's no need to hurry now. Now the world has taken a new
turning. Ah, Alyosha, what a pity you can't understand ecstasy. But what
am I saying to him? As though you didn't understand it. What an ass I am!
What am I saying? 'Be noble, O man!'--who says that?"

Alyosha made up his mind to wait. He felt that, perhaps, indeed, his work
lay here. Mitya sank into thought for a moment, with his elbow on the
table and his head in his hand. Both were silent.

"Alyosha," said Mitya, "you're the only one who won't laugh. I should like
to begin--my confession--with Schiller's _Hymn to Joy_, _An die Freude_! I
don't know German, I only know it's called that. Don't think I'm talking
nonsense because I'm drunk. I'm not a bit drunk. Brandy's all very well,
but I need two bottles to make me drunk:

    Silenus with his rosy phiz
    Upon his stumbling ass.

But I've not drunk a quarter of a bottle, and I'm not Silenus. I'm not
Silenus, though I am strong,(1) for I've made a decision once for all.
Forgive me the pun; you'll have to forgive me a lot more than puns to-day.
Don't be uneasy. I'm not spinning it out. I'm talking sense, and I'll come
to the point in a minute. I won't keep you in suspense. Stay, how does it
go?"

He raised his head, thought a minute, and began with enthusiasm:

    "Wild and fearful in his cavern
     Hid the naked troglodyte,
     And the homeless nomad wandered
     Laying waste the fertile plain.
     Menacing with spear and arrow
     In the woods the hunter strayed....
     Woe to all poor wretches stranded
     On those cruel and hostile shores!

    "From the peak of high Olympus
     Came the mother Ceres down,
     Seeking in those savage regions
     Her lost daughter Proserpine.
     But the Goddess found no refuge,
     Found no kindly welcome there,
     And no temple bearing witness
     To the worship of the gods.

    "From the fields and from the vineyards
     Came no fruits to deck the feasts,
     Only flesh of bloodstained victims
     Smoldered on the altar-fires,
     And where'er the grieving goddess
     Turns her melancholy gaze,
     Sunk in vilest degradation
     Man his loathsomeness displays."

Mitya broke into sobs and seized Alyosha's hand.

"My dear, my dear, in degradation, in degradation now, too. There's a
terrible amount of suffering for man on earth, a terrible lot of trouble.
Don't think I'm only a brute in an officer's uniform, wallowing in dirt
and drink. I hardly think of anything but of that degraded man--if only I'm
not lying. I pray God I'm not lying and showing off. I think about that
man because I am that man myself.

    Would he purge his soul from vileness
    And attain to light and worth,
    He must turn and cling for ever
    To his ancient Mother Earth.

But the difficulty is how am I to cling for ever to Mother Earth. I don't
kiss her. I don't cleave to her bosom. Am I to become a peasant or a
shepherd? I go on and I don't know whether I'm going to shame or to light
and joy. That's the trouble, for everything in the world is a riddle! And
whenever I've happened to sink into the vilest degradation (and it's
always been happening) I always read that poem about Ceres and man. Has it
reformed me? Never! For I'm a Karamazov. For when I do leap into the pit,
I go headlong with my heels up, and am pleased to be falling in that
degrading attitude, and pride myself upon it. And in the very depths of
that degradation I begin a hymn of praise. Let me be accursed. Let me be
vile and base, only let me kiss the hem of the veil in which my God is
shrouded. Though I may be following the devil, I am Thy son, O Lord, and I
love Thee, and I feel the joy without which the world cannot stand.

    Joy everlasting fostereth
    The soul of all creation,
    It is her secret ferment fires
    The cup of life with flame.
    'Tis at her beck the grass hath turned
    Each blade towards the light
    And solar systems have evolved
    From chaos and dark night,
    Filling the realms of boundless space
    Beyond the sage's sight.
    At bounteous Nature's kindly breast,
    All things that breathe drink Joy,
    And birds and beasts and creeping things
    All follow where She leads.
    Her gifts to man are friends in need,
    The wreath, the foaming must,
    To angels--vision of God's throne,
    To insects--sensual lust.

But enough poetry! I am in tears; let me cry. It may be foolishness that
every one would laugh at. But you won't laugh. Your eyes are shining, too.
Enough poetry. I want to tell you now about the insects to whom God gave
"sensual lust."

    To insects--sensual lust.

I am that insect, brother, and it is said of me specially. All we
Karamazovs are such insects, and, angel as you are, that insect lives in
you, too, and will stir up a tempest in your blood. Tempests, because
sensual lust is a tempest--worse than a tempest! Beauty is a terrible and
awful thing! It is terrible because it has not been fathomed and never can
be fathomed, for God sets us nothing but riddles. Here the boundaries meet
and all contradictions exist side by side. I am not a cultivated man,
brother, but I've thought a lot about this. It's terrible what mysteries
there are! Too many riddles weigh men down on earth. We must solve them as
we can, and try to keep a dry skin in the water. Beauty! I can't endure
the thought that a man of lofty mind and heart begins with the ideal of
the Madonna and ends with the ideal of Sodom. What's still more awful is
that a man with the ideal of Sodom in his soul does not renounce the ideal
of the Madonna, and his heart may be on fire with that ideal, genuinely on
fire, just as in his days of youth and innocence. Yes, man is broad, too
broad, indeed. I'd have him narrower. The devil only knows what to make of
it! What to the mind is shameful is beauty and nothing else to the heart.
Is there beauty in Sodom? Believe me, that for the immense mass of mankind
beauty is found in Sodom. Did you know that secret? The awful thing is
that beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are
fighting there and the battlefield is the heart of man. But a man always
talks of his own ache. Listen, now to come to facts."

Chapter IV. The Confession Of A Passionate Heart--In Anecdote

"I was leading a wild life then. Father said just now that I spent several
thousand roubles in seducing young girls. That's a swinish invention, and
there was nothing of the sort. And if there was, I didn't need money
simply for _that_. With me money is an accessory, the overflow of my
heart, the framework. To-day she would be my lady, to-morrow a wench out
of the streets in her place. I entertained them both. I threw away money
by the handful on music, rioting, and gypsies. Sometimes I gave it to the
ladies, too, for they'll take it greedily, that must be admitted, and be
pleased and thankful for it. Ladies used to be fond of me: not all of
them, but it happened, it happened. But I always liked side-paths, little
dark back-alleys behind the main road--there one finds adventures and
surprises, and precious metal in the dirt. I am speaking figuratively,
brother. In the town I was in, there were no such back-alleys in the
literal sense, but morally there were. If you were like me, you'd know
what that means. I loved vice, I loved the ignominy of vice. I loved
cruelty; am I not a bug, am I not a noxious insect? In fact a Karamazov!
Once we went, a whole lot of us, for a picnic, in seven sledges. It was
dark, it was winter, and I began squeezing a girl's hand, and forced her
to kiss me. She was the daughter of an official, a sweet, gentle,
submissive creature. She allowed me, she allowed me much in the dark. She
thought, poor thing, that I should come next day to make her an offer (I
was looked upon as a good match, too). But I didn't say a word to her for
five months. I used to see her in a corner at dances (we were always
having dances), her eyes watching me. I saw how they glowed with fire--a
fire of gentle indignation. This game only tickled that insect lust I
cherished in my soul. Five months later she married an official and left
the town, still angry, and still, perhaps, in love with me. Now they live
happily. Observe that I told no one. I didn't boast of it. Though I'm full
of low desires, and love what's low, I'm not dishonorable. You're
blushing; your eyes flashed. Enough of this filth with you. And all this
was nothing much--wayside blossoms _a la_ Paul de Kock--though the cruel
insect had already grown strong in my soul. I've a perfect album of
reminiscences, brother. God bless them, the darlings. I tried to break it
off without quarreling. And I never gave them away. I never bragged of one
of them. But that's enough. You can't suppose I brought you here simply to
talk of such nonsense. No, I'm going to tell you something more curious;
and don't be surprised that I'm glad to tell you, instead of being
ashamed."

"You say that because I blushed," Alyosha said suddenly. "I wasn't
blushing at what you were saying or at what you've done. I blushed because
I am the same as you are."

"You? Come, that's going a little too far!"

"No, it's not too far," said Alyosha warmly (obviously the idea was not a
new one). "The ladder's the same. I'm at the bottom step, and you're
above, somewhere about the thirteenth. That's how I see it. But it's all
the same. Absolutely the same in kind. Any one on the bottom step is bound
to go up to the top one."

"Then one ought not to step on at all."

"Any one who can help it had better not."

"But can you?"

"I think not."

"Hush, Alyosha, hush, darling! I could kiss your hand, you touch me so.
That rogue Grushenka has an eye for men. She told me once that she'd
devour you one day. There, there, I won't! From this field of corruption
fouled by flies, let's pass to my tragedy, also befouled by flies, that is
by every sort of vileness. Although the old man told lies about my
seducing innocence, there really was something of the sort in my tragedy,
though it was only once, and then it did not come off. The old man who has
reproached me with what never happened does not even know of this fact; I
never told any one about it. You're the first, except Ivan, of course--Ivan
knows everything. He knew about it long before you. But Ivan's a tomb."

"Ivan's a tomb?"

"Yes."

Alyosha listened with great attention.

"I was lieutenant in a line regiment, but still I was under supervision,
like a kind of convict. Yet I was awfully well received in the little
town. I spent money right and left. I was thought to be rich; I thought so
myself. But I must have pleased them in other ways as well. Although they
shook their heads over me, they liked me. My colonel, who was an old man,
took a sudden dislike to me. He was always down upon me, but I had
powerful friends, and, moreover, all the town was on my side, so he
couldn't do me much harm. I was in fault myself for refusing to treat him
with proper respect. I was proud. This obstinate old fellow, who was
really a very good sort, kind-hearted and hospitable, had had two wives,
both dead. His first wife, who was of a humble family, left a daughter as
unpretentious as herself. She was a young woman of four and twenty when I
was there, and was living with her father and an aunt, her mother's
sister. The aunt was simple and illiterate; the niece was simple but
lively. I like to say nice things about people. I never knew a woman of
more charming character than Agafya--fancy, her name was Agafya Ivanovna!
And she wasn't bad-looking either, in the Russian style: tall, stout, with
a full figure, and beautiful eyes, though a rather coarse face. She had
not married, although she had had two suitors. She refused them, but was
as cheerful as ever. I was intimate with her, not in 'that' way, it was
pure friendship. I have often been friendly with women quite innocently. I
used to talk to her with shocking frankness, and she only laughed. Many
women like such freedom, and she was a girl too, which made it very
amusing. Another thing, one could never think of her as a young lady. She
and her aunt lived in her father's house with a sort of voluntary
humility, not putting themselves on an equality with other people. She was
a general favorite, and of use to every one, for she was a clever
dressmaker. She had a talent for it. She gave her services freely without
asking for payment, but if any one offered her payment, she didn't refuse.
The colonel, of course, was a very different matter. He was one of the
chief personages in the district. He kept open house, entertained the
whole town, gave suppers and dances. At the time I arrived and joined the
battalion, all the town was talking of the expected return of the
colonel's second daughter, a great beauty, who had just left a fashionable
school in the capital. This second daughter is Katerina Ivanovna, and she
was the child of the second wife, who belonged to a distinguished
general's family; although, as I learnt on good authority, she too brought
the colonel no money. She had connections, and that was all. There may
have been expectations, but they had come to nothing.

"Yet, when the young lady came from boarding-school on a visit, the whole
town revived. Our most distinguished ladies--two 'Excellencies' and a
colonel's wife--and all the rest following their lead, at once took her up
and gave entertainments in her honor. She was the belle of the balls and
picnics, and they got up _tableaux vivants_ in aid of distressed
governesses. I took no notice, I went on as wildly as before, and one of
my exploits at the time set all the town talking. I saw her eyes taking my
measure one evening at the battery commander's, but I didn't go up to her,
as though I disdained her acquaintance. I did go up and speak to her at an
evening party not long after. She scarcely looked at me, and compressed
her lips scornfully. 'Wait a bit. I'll have my revenge,' thought I. I
behaved like an awful fool on many occasions at that time, and I was
conscious of it myself. What made it worse was that I felt that 'Katenka'
was not an innocent boarding-school miss, but a person of character, proud
and really high-principled; above all, she had education and intellect,
and I had neither. You think I meant to make her an offer? No, I simply
wanted to revenge myself, because I was such a hero and she didn't seem to
feel it.

"Meanwhile, I spent my time in drink and riot, till the lieutenant-colonel
put me under arrest for three days. Just at that time father sent me six
thousand roubles in return for my sending him a deed giving up all claims
upon him--settling our accounts, so to speak, and saying that I wouldn't
expect anything more. I didn't understand a word of it at the time. Until
I came here, Alyosha, till the last few days, indeed, perhaps even now, I
haven't been able to make head or tail of my money affairs with father.
But never mind that, we'll talk of it later.

"Just as I received the money, I got a letter from a friend telling me
something that interested me immensely. The authorities, I learnt, were
dissatisfied with our lieutenant-colonel. He was suspected of
irregularities; in fact, his enemies were preparing a surprise for him.
And then the commander of the division arrived, and kicked up the devil of
a shindy. Shortly afterwards he was ordered to retire. I won't tell you
how it all happened. He had enemies certainly. Suddenly there was a marked
coolness in the town towards him and all his family. His friends all
turned their backs on him. Then I took my first step. I met Agafya
Ivanovna, with whom I'd always kept up a friendship, and said, 'Do you
know there's a deficit of 4,500 roubles of government money in your
father's accounts?'

" 'What do you mean? What makes you say so? The general was here not long
ago, and everything was all right.'

" 'Then it was, but now it isn't.'

"She was terribly scared.

" 'Don't frighten me!' she said. 'Who told you so?'

" 'Don't be uneasy,' I said, 'I won't tell any one. You know I'm as silent
as the tomb. I only wanted, in view of "possibilities," to add, that when
they demand that 4,500 roubles from your father, and he can't produce it,
he'll be tried, and made to serve as a common soldier in his old age,
unless you like to send me your young lady secretly. I've just had money
paid me. I'll give her four thousand, if you like, and keep the secret
religiously.'

" 'Ah, you scoundrel!'--that's what she said. 'You wicked scoundrel! How
dare you!'

"She went away furiously indignant, while I shouted after her once more
that the secret should be kept sacred. Those two simple creatures, Agafya
and her aunt, I may as well say at once, behaved like perfect angels all
through this business. They genuinely adored their 'Katya,' thought her
far above them, and waited on her, hand and foot. But Agafya told her of
our conversation. I found that out afterwards. She didn't keep it back,
and of course that was all I wanted.

"Suddenly the new major arrived to take command of the battalion. The old
lieutenant-colonel was taken ill at once, couldn't leave his room for two
days, and didn't hand over the government money. Dr. Kravchenko declared
that he really was ill. But I knew for a fact, and had known for a long
time, that for the last four years the money had never been in his hands
except when the Commander made his visits of inspection. He used to lend
it to a trustworthy person, a merchant of our town called Trifonov, an old
widower, with a big beard and gold-rimmed spectacles. He used to go to the
fair, do a profitable business with the money, and return the whole sum to
the colonel, bringing with it a present from the fair, as well as interest
on the loan. But this time (I heard all about it quite by chance from
Trifonov's son and heir, a driveling youth and one of the most vicious in
the world)--this time, I say, Trifonov brought nothing back from the fair.
The lieutenant-colonel flew to him. 'I've never received any money from
you, and couldn't possibly have received any.' That was all the answer he
got. So now our lieutenant-colonel is confined to the house, with a towel
round his head, while they're all three busy putting ice on it. All at
once an orderly arrives on the scene with the book and the order to 'hand
over the battalion money immediately, within two hours.' He signed the
book (I saw the signature in the book afterwards), stood up, saying he
would put on his uniform, ran to his bedroom, loaded his double-barreled
gun with a service bullet, took the boot off his right foot, fixed the gun
against his chest, and began feeling for the trigger with his foot. But
Agafya, remembering what I had told her, had her suspicions. She stole up
and peeped into the room just in time. She rushed in, flung herself upon
him from behind, threw her arms round him, and the gun went off, hit the
ceiling, but hurt no one. The others ran in, took away the gun, and held
him by the arms. I heard all about this afterwards. I was at home, it was
getting dusk, and I was just preparing to go out. I had dressed, brushed
my hair, scented my handkerchief, and taken up my cap, when suddenly the
door opened, and facing me in the room stood Katerina Ivanovna.

"It's strange how things happen sometimes. No one had seen her in the
street, so that no one knew of it in the town. I lodged with two decrepit
old ladies, who looked after me. They were most obliging old things, ready
to do anything for me, and at my request were as silent afterwards as two
cast-iron posts. Of course I grasped the position at once. She walked in
and looked straight at me, her dark eyes determined, even defiant, but on
her lips and round her mouth I saw uncertainty.

" 'My sister told me,' she began, 'that you would give me 4,500 roubles if
I came to you for it--myself. I have come ... give me the money!'

"She couldn't keep it up. She was breathless, frightened, her voice failed
her, and the corners of her mouth and the lines round it quivered.
Alyosha, are you listening, or are you asleep?"

"Mitya, I know you will tell the whole truth," said Alyosha in agitation.

"I am telling it. If I tell the whole truth just as it happened I shan't
spare myself. My first idea was a--Karamazov one. Once I was bitten by a
centipede, brother, and laid up a fortnight with fever from it. Well, I
felt a centipede biting at my heart then--a noxious insect, you understand?
I looked her up and down. You've seen her? She's a beauty. But she was
beautiful in another way then. At that moment she was beautiful because
she was noble, and I was a scoundrel; she in all the grandeur of her
generosity and sacrifice for her father, and I--a bug! And, scoundrel as I
was, she was altogether at my mercy, body and soul. She was hemmed in. I
tell you frankly, that thought, that venomous thought, so possessed my
heart that it almost swooned with suspense. It seemed as if there could be
no resisting it; as though I should act like a bug, like a venomous
spider, without a spark of pity. I could scarcely breathe. Understand, I
should have gone next day to ask for her hand, so that it might end
honorably, so to speak, and that nobody would or could know. For though
I'm a man of base desires, I'm honest. And at that very second some voice
seemed to whisper in my ear, 'But when you come to-morrow to make your
proposal, that girl won't even see you; she'll order her coachman to kick
you out of the yard. "Publish it through all the town," she would say,
"I'm not afraid of you." ' I looked at the young lady, my voice had not
deceived me. That is how it would be, not a doubt of it. I could see from
her face now that I should be turned out of the house. My spite was
roused. I longed to play her the nastiest swinish cad's trick: to look at
her with a sneer, and on the spot where she stood before me to stun her
with a tone of voice that only a shopman could use.

" 'Four thousand! What do you mean? I was joking. You've been counting
your chickens too easily, madam. Two hundred, if you like, with all my
heart. But four thousand is not a sum to throw away on such frivolity.
You've put yourself out to no purpose.'

"I should have lost the game, of course. She'd have run away. But it would
have been an infernal revenge. It would have been worth it all. I'd have
howled with regret all the rest of my life, only to have played that
trick. Would you believe it, it has never happened to me with any other
woman, not one, to look at her at such a moment with hatred. But, on my
oath, I looked at her for three seconds, or five perhaps, with fearful
hatred--that hate which is only a hair's-breadth from love, from the
maddest love!

"I went to the window, put my forehead against the frozen pane, and I
remember the ice burnt my forehead like fire. I did not keep her long,
don't be afraid. I turned round, went up to the table, opened the drawer
and took out a banknote for five thousand roubles (it was lying in a
French dictionary). Then I showed it her in silence, folded it, handed it
to her, opened the door into the passage, and, stepping back, made her a
deep bow, a most respectful, a most impressive bow, believe me! She
shuddered all over, gazed at me for a second, turned horribly pale--white
as a sheet, in fact--and all at once, not impetuously but softly, gently,
bowed down to my feet--not a boarding-school curtsey, but a Russian bow,
with her forehead to the floor. She jumped up and ran away. I was wearing
my sword. I drew it and nearly stabbed myself with it on the spot; why, I
don't know. It would have been frightfully stupid, of course. I suppose it
was from delight. Can you understand that one might kill oneself from
delight? But I didn't stab myself. I only kissed my sword and put it back
in the scabbard--which there was no need to have told you, by the way. And
I fancy that in telling you about my inner conflict I have laid it on
rather thick to glorify myself. But let it pass, and to hell with all who
pry into the human heart! Well, so much for that 'adventure' with Katerina
Ivanovna. So now Ivan knows of it, and you--no one else."

Dmitri got up, took a step or two in his excitement, pulled out his
handkerchief and mopped his forehead, then sat down again, not in the same
place as before, but on the opposite side, so that Alyosha had to turn
quite round to face him.

Chapter V. The Confession Of A Passionate Heart--"Heels Up"

"Now," said Alyosha, "I understand the first half."

"You understand the first half. That half is a drama, and it was played
out there. The second half is a tragedy, and it is being acted here."

"And I understand nothing of that second half so far," said Alyosha.

"And I? Do you suppose I understand it?"

"Stop, Dmitri. There's one important question. Tell me, you were
betrothed, you are betrothed still?"

"We weren't betrothed at once, not for three months after that adventure.
The next day I told myself that the incident was closed, concluded, that
there would be no sequel. It seemed to me caddish to make her an offer. On
her side she gave no sign of life for the six weeks that she remained in
the town; except, indeed, for one action. The day after her visit the
maid-servant slipped round with an envelope addressed to me. I tore it
open: it contained the change out of the banknote. Only four thousand five
hundred roubles was needed, but there was a discount of about two hundred
on changing it. She only sent me about two hundred and sixty. I don't
remember exactly, but not a note, not a word of explanation. I searched
the packet for a pencil mark--n-nothing! Well, I spent the rest of the
money on such an orgy that the new major was obliged to reprimand me.

"Well, the lieutenant-colonel produced the battalion money, to the
astonishment of every one, for nobody believed that he had the money
untouched. He'd no sooner paid it than he fell ill, took to his bed, and,
three weeks later, softening of the brain set in, and he died five days
afterwards. He was buried with military honors, for he had not had time to
receive his discharge. Ten days after his funeral, Katerina Ivanovna, with
her aunt and sister, went to Moscow. And, behold, on the very day they
went away (I hadn't seen them, didn't see them off or take leave) I
received a tiny note, a sheet of thin blue paper, and on it only one line
in pencil: 'I will write to you. Wait. K.' And that was all.

"I'll explain the rest now, in two words. In Moscow their fortunes changed
with the swiftness of lightning and the unexpectedness of an Arabian
fairy-tale. That general's widow, their nearest relation, suddenly lost
the two nieces who were her heiresses and next-of-kin--both died in the
same week of small-pox. The old lady, prostrated with grief, welcomed
Katya as a daughter, as her one hope, clutched at her, altered her will in
Katya's favor. But that concerned the future. Meanwhile she gave her, for
present use, eighty thousand roubles, as a marriage portion, to do what
she liked with. She was an hysterical woman. I saw something of her in
Moscow, later.

"Well, suddenly I received by post four thousand five hundred roubles. I
was speechless with surprise, as you may suppose. Three days later came
the promised letter. I have it with me now. You must read it. She offers
to be my wife, offers herself to me. 'I love you madly,' she says, 'even
if you don't love me, never mind. Be my husband. Don't be afraid. I won't
hamper you in any way. I will be your chattel. I will be the carpet under
your feet. I want to love you for ever. I want to save you from yourself.'
Alyosha, I am not worthy to repeat those lines in my vulgar words and in
my vulgar tone, my everlastingly vulgar tone, that I can never cure myself
of. That letter stabs me even now. Do you think I don't mind--that I don't
mind still? I wrote her an answer at once, as it was impossible for me to
go to Moscow. I wrote to her with tears. One thing I shall be ashamed of
for ever. I referred to her being rich and having a dowry while I was only
a stuck-up beggar! I mentioned money! I ought to have borne it in silence,
but it slipped from my pen. Then I wrote at once to Ivan, and told him all
I could about it in a letter of six pages, and sent him to her. Why do you
look like that? Why are you staring at me? Yes, Ivan fell in love with
her; he's in love with her still. I know that. I did a stupid thing, in
the world's opinion; but perhaps that one stupid thing may be the saving
of us all now. Oo! Don't you see what a lot she thinks of Ivan, how she
respects him? When she compares us, do you suppose she can love a man like
me, especially after all that has happened here?"

"But I am convinced that she does love a man like you, and not a man like
him."

"She loves her own _virtue_, not me." The words broke involuntarily, and
almost malignantly, from Dmitri. He laughed, but a minute later his eyes
gleamed, he flushed crimson and struck the table violently with his fist.

"I swear, Alyosha," he cried, with intense and genuine anger at himself;
"you may not believe me, but as God is holy, and as Christ is God, I swear
that though I smiled at her lofty sentiments just now, I know that I am a
million times baser in soul than she, and that these lofty sentiments of
hers are as sincere as a heavenly angel's. That's the tragedy of it--that I
know that for certain. What if any one does show off a bit? Don't I do it
myself? And yet I'm sincere, I'm sincere. As for Ivan, I can understand
how he must be cursing nature now--with his intellect, too! To see the
preference given--to whom, to what? To a monster who, though he is
betrothed and all eyes are fixed on him, can't restrain his
debaucheries--and before the very eyes of his betrothed! And a man like me
is preferred, while he is rejected. And why? Because a girl wants to
sacrifice her life and destiny out of gratitude. It's ridiculous! I've
never said a word of this to Ivan, and Ivan of course has never dropped a
hint of the sort to me. But destiny will be accomplished, and the best man
will hold his ground while the undeserving one will vanish into his back-
alley for ever--his filthy back-alley, his beloved back-alley, where he is
at home and where he will sink in filth and stench at his own free will
and with enjoyment. I've been talking foolishly. I've no words left. I use
them at random, but it will be as I have said. I shall drown in the back-
alley, and she will marry Ivan."

"Stop, Dmitri," Alyosha interrupted again with great anxiety. "There's one
thing you haven't made clear yet: you are still betrothed all the same,
aren't you? How can you break off the engagement if she, your betrothed,
doesn't want to?"

"Yes, formally and solemnly betrothed. It was all done on my arrival in
Moscow, with great ceremony, with ikons, all in fine style. The general's
wife blessed us, and--would you believe it?--congratulated Katya. 'You've
made a good choice,' she said, 'I see right through him.' And--would you
believe it?--she didn't like Ivan, and hardly greeted him. I had a lot of
talk with Katya in Moscow. I told her about myself--sincerely, honorably.
She listened to everything.

    There was sweet confusion,
    There were tender words.

Though there were proud words, too. She wrung out of me a mighty promise
to reform. I gave my promise, and here--"

"What?"

"Why, I called to you and brought you out here to-day, this very
day--remember it--to send you--this very day again--to Katerina Ivanovna,
and--"

"What?"

"To tell her that I shall never come to see her again. Say, 'He sends you
his compliments.' "

"But is that possible?"

"That's just the reason I'm sending you, in my place, because it's
impossible. And, how could I tell her myself?"

"And where are you going?"

"To the back-alley."

"To Grushenka, then!" Alyosha exclaimed mournfully, clasping his hands.
"Can Rakitin really have told the truth? I thought that you had just
visited her, and that was all."

"Can a betrothed man pay such visits? Is such a thing possible and with
such a betrothed, and before the eyes of all the world? Confound it, I
have some honor! As soon as I began visiting Grushenka, I ceased to be
betrothed, and to be an honest man. I understand that. Why do you look at
me? You see, I went in the first place to beat her. I had heard, and I
know for a fact now, that that captain, father's agent, had given
Grushenka an I.O.U. of mine for her to sue me for payment, so as to put an
end to me. They wanted to scare me. I went to beat her. I had had a
glimpse of her before. She doesn't strike one at first sight. I knew about
her old merchant, who's lying ill now, paralyzed; but he's leaving her a
decent little sum. I knew, too, that she was fond of money, that she
hoarded it, and lent it at a wicked rate of interest, that she's a
merciless cheat and swindler. I went to beat her, and I stayed. The storm
broke--it struck me down like the plague. I'm plague-stricken still, and I
know that everything is over, that there will never be anything more for
me. The cycle of the ages is accomplished. That's my position. And though
I'm a beggar, as fate would have it, I had three thousand just then in my
pocket. I drove with Grushenka to Mokroe, a place twenty-five versts from
here. I got gypsies there and champagne and made all the peasants there
drunk on it, and all the women and girls. I sent the thousands flying. In
three days' time I was stripped bare, but a hero. Do you suppose the hero
had gained his end? Not a sign of it from her. I tell you that rogue,
Grushenka, has a supple curve all over her body. You can see it in her
little foot, even in her little toe. I saw it, and kissed it, but that was
all, I swear! 'I'll marry you if you like,' she said, 'you're a beggar,
you know. Say that you won't beat me, and will let me do anything I
choose, and perhaps I will marry you.' She laughed, and she's laughing
still!"

Dmitri leapt up with a sort of fury. He seemed all at once as though he
were drunk. His eyes became suddenly bloodshot.

"And do you really mean to marry her?"

"At once, if she will. And if she won't, I shall stay all the same. I'll
be the porter at her gate. Alyosha!" he cried. He stopped short before
him, and taking him by the shoulders began shaking him violently. "Do you
know, you innocent boy, that this is all delirium, senseless delirium, for
there's a tragedy here. Let me tell you, Alexey, that I may be a low man,
with low and degraded passions, but a thief and a pickpocket Dmitri
Karamazov never can be. Well, then; let me tell you that I am a thief and
a pickpocket. That very morning, just before I went to beat Grushenka,
Katerina Ivanovna sent for me, and in strict secrecy (why I don't know, I
suppose she had some reason) asked me to go to the chief town of the
province and to post three thousand roubles to Agafya Ivanovna in Moscow,
so that nothing should be known of it in the town here. So I had that
three thousand roubles in my pocket when I went to see Grushenka, and it
was that money we spent at Mokroe. Afterwards I pretended I had been to
the town, but did not show her the post office receipt. I said I had sent
the money and would bring the receipt, and so far I haven't brought it.
I've forgotten it. Now what do you think you're going to her to-day to
say? 'He sends his compliments,' and she'll ask you, 'What about the
money?' You might still have said to her, 'He's a degraded sensualist, and
a low creature, with uncontrolled passions. He didn't send your money
then, but wasted it, because, like a low brute, he couldn't control
himself.' But still you might have added, 'He isn't a thief though. Here
is your three thousand; he sends it back. Send it yourself to Agafya
Ivanovna. But he told me to say "he sends his compliments." ' But, as it
is, she will ask, 'But where is the money?' "

"Mitya, you are unhappy, yes! But not as unhappy as you think. Don't worry
yourself to death with despair."

"What, do you suppose I'd shoot myself because I can't get three thousand
to pay back? That's just it. I shan't shoot myself. I haven't the strength
now. Afterwards, perhaps. But now I'm going to Grushenka. I don't care
what happens."

"And what then?"

"I'll be her husband if she deigns to have me, and when lovers come, I'll
go into the next room. I'll clean her friends' goloshes, blow up their
samovar, run their errands."

"Katerina Ivanovna will understand it all," Alyosha said solemnly. "She'll
understand how great this trouble is and will forgive. She has a lofty
mind, and no one could be more unhappy than you. She'll see that for
herself."

"She won't forgive everything," said Dmitri, with a grin. "There's
something in it, brother, that no woman could forgive. Do you know what
would be the best thing to do?"

"What?"

"Pay back the three thousand."

"Where can we get it from? I say, I have two thousand. Ivan will give you
another thousand--that makes three. Take it and pay it back."

"And when would you get it, your three thousand? You're not of age,
besides, and you must--you absolutely must--take my farewell to her to-day,
with the money or without it, for I can't drag on any longer, things have
come to such a pass. To-morrow is too late. I shall send you to father."

"To father?"

"Yes, to father first. Ask him for three thousand."

"But, Mitya, he won't give it."

"As though he would! I know he won't. Do you know the meaning of despair,
Alexey?"

"Yes."

"Listen. Legally he owes me nothing. I've had it all from him, I know
that. But morally he owes me something, doesn't he? You know he started
with twenty-eight thousand of my mother's money and made a hundred
thousand with it. Let him give me back only three out of the twenty-eight
thousand, and he'll draw my soul out of hell, and it will atone for many
of his sins. For that three thousand--I give you my solemn word--I'll make
an end of everything, and he shall hear nothing more of me. For the last
time I give him the chance to be a father. Tell him God Himself sends him
this chance."

"Mitya, he won't give it for anything."

"I know he won't. I know it perfectly well. Now, especially. That's not
all. I know something more. Now, only a few days ago, perhaps only
yesterday he found out for the first time _in earnest_ (underline _in
earnest_) that Grushenka is really perhaps not joking, and really means to
marry me. He knows her nature; he knows the cat. And do you suppose he's
going to give me money to help to bring that about when he's crazy about
her himself? And that's not all, either. I can tell you more than that. I
know that for the last five days he has had three thousand drawn out of
the bank, changed into notes of a hundred roubles, packed into a large
envelope, sealed with five seals, and tied across with red tape. You see
how well I know all about it! On the envelope is written: 'To my angel,
Grushenka, when she will come to me.' He scrawled it himself in silence
and in secret, and no one knows that the money's there except the valet,
Smerdyakov, whom he trusts like himself. So now he has been expecting
Grushenka for the last three or four days; he hopes she'll come for the
money. He has sent her word of it, and she has sent him word that perhaps
she'll come. And if she does go to the old man, can I marry her after
that? You understand now why I'm here in secret and what I'm on the watch
for."

"For her?"

"Yes, for her. Foma has a room in the house of these sluts here. Foma
comes from our parts; he was a soldier in our regiment. He does jobs for
them. He's watchman at night and goes grouse-shooting in the day-time; and
that's how he lives. I've established myself in his room. Neither he nor
the women of the house know the secret--that is, that I am on the watch
here."

"No one but Smerdyakov knows, then?"

"No one else. He will let me know if she goes to the old man."

"It was he told you about the money, then?"

"Yes. It's a dead secret. Even Ivan doesn't know about the money, or
anything. The old man is sending Ivan to Tchermashnya on a two or three
days' journey. A purchaser has turned up for the copse: he'll give eight
thousand for the timber. So the old man keeps asking Ivan to help him by
going to arrange it. It will take him two or three days. That's what the
old man wants, so that Grushenka can come while he's away."

"Then he's expecting Grushenka to-day?"

"No, she won't come to-day; there are signs. She's certain not to come,"
cried Mitya suddenly. "Smerdyakov thinks so, too. Father's drinking now.
He's sitting at table with Ivan. Go to him, Alyosha, and ask for the three
thousand."

"Mitya, dear, what's the matter with you?" cried Alyosha, jumping up from
his place, and looking keenly at his brother's frenzied face. For one
moment the thought struck him that Dmitri was mad.

"What is it? I'm not insane," said Dmitri, looking intently and earnestly
at him. "No fear. I am sending you to father, and I know what I'm saying.
I believe in miracles."

"In miracles?"

"In a miracle of Divine Providence. God knows my heart. He sees my
despair. He sees the whole picture. Surely He won't let something awful
happen. Alyosha, I believe in miracles. Go!"

"I am going. Tell me, will you wait for me here?"

"Yes. I know it will take some time. You can't go at him point blank. He's
drunk now. I'll wait three hours--four, five, six, seven. Only remember you
must go to Katerina Ivanovna to-day, if it has to be at midnight, _with
the money or without the money_, and say, 'He sends his compliments to
you.' I want you to say that verse to her: 'He sends his compliments to
you.' "

"Mitya! And what if Grushenka comes to-day--if not to-day, to-morrow, or
the next day?"

"Grushenka? I shall see her. I shall rush out and prevent it."

"And if--"

"If there's an if, it will be murder. I couldn't endure it."

"Who will be murdered?"

"The old man. I shan't kill her."

"Brother, what are you saying?"

"Oh, I don't know.... I don't know. Perhaps I shan't kill, and perhaps I
shall. I'm afraid that he will suddenly become so loathsome to me with his
face at that moment. I hate his ugly throat, his nose, his eyes, his
shameless snigger. I feel a physical repulsion. That's what I'm afraid of.
That's what may be too much for me."

"I'll go, Mitya. I believe that God will order things for the best, that
nothing awful may happen."

"And I will sit and wait for the miracle. And if it doesn't come to pass--"

Alyosha went thoughtfully towards his father's house.

Chapter VI. Smerdyakov

He did in fact find his father still at table. Though there was a dining-
room in the house, the table was laid as usual in the drawing-room, which
was the largest room, and furnished with old-fashioned ostentation. The
furniture was white and very old, upholstered in old, red, silky material.
In the spaces between the windows there were mirrors in elaborate white
and gilt frames, of old-fashioned carving. On the walls, covered with
white paper, which was torn in many places, there hung two large
portraits--one of some prince who had been governor of the district thirty
years before, and the other of some bishop, also long since dead. In the
corner opposite the door there were several ikons, before which a lamp was
lighted at nightfall ... not so much for devotional purposes as to light
the room. Fyodor Pavlovitch used to go to bed very late, at three or four
o'clock in the morning, and would wander about the room at night or sit in
an arm-chair, thinking. This had become a habit with him. He often slept
quite alone in the house, sending his servants to the lodge; but usually
Smerdyakov remained, sleeping on a bench in the hall.

When Alyosha came in, dinner was over, but coffee and preserves had been
served. Fyodor Pavlovitch liked sweet things with brandy after dinner.
Ivan was also at table, sipping coffee. The servants, Grigory and
Smerdyakov, were standing by. Both the gentlemen and the servants seemed
in singularly good spirits. Fyodor Pavlovitch was roaring with laughter.
Before he entered the room, Alyosha heard the shrill laugh he knew so
well, and could tell from the sound of it that his father had only reached
the good-humored stage, and was far from being completely drunk.

"Here he is! Here he is!" yelled Fyodor Pavlovitch, highly delighted at
seeing Alyosha. "Join us. Sit down. Coffee is a lenten dish, but it's hot
and good. I don't offer you brandy, you're keeping the fast. But would you
like some? No; I'd better give you some of our famous liqueur. Smerdyakov,
go to the cupboard, the second shelf on the right. Here are the keys. Look
sharp!"

Alyosha began refusing the liqueur.

"Never mind. If you won't have it, we will," said Fyodor Pavlovitch,
beaming. "But stay--have you dined?"

"Yes," answered Alyosha, who had in truth only eaten a piece of bread and
drunk a glass of kvas in the Father Superior's kitchen. "Though I should
be pleased to have some hot coffee."

"Bravo, my darling! He'll have some coffee. Does it want warming? No, it's
boiling. It's capital coffee: Smerdyakov's making. My Smerdyakov's an
artist at coffee and at fish patties, and at fish soup, too. You must come
one day and have some fish soup. Let me know beforehand.... But, stay;
didn't I tell you this morning to come home with your mattress and pillow
and all? Have you brought your mattress? He he he!"

"No, I haven't," said Alyosha, smiling, too.

"Ah, but you were frightened, you were frightened this morning, weren't
you? There, my darling, I couldn't do anything to vex you. Do you know,
Ivan, I can't resist the way he looks one straight in the face and laughs?
It makes me laugh all over. I'm so fond of him. Alyosha, let me give you
my blessing--a father's blessing."

Alyosha rose, but Fyodor Pavlovitch had already changed his mind.

"No, no," he said. "I'll just make the sign of the cross over you, for
now. Sit still. Now we've a treat for you, in your own line, too. It'll
make you laugh. Balaam's ass has begun talking to us here--and how he
talks! How he talks!"

Balaam's ass, it appeared, was the valet, Smerdyakov. He was a young man
of about four and twenty, remarkably unsociable and taciturn. Not that he
was shy or bashful. On the contrary, he was conceited and seemed to
despise everybody.

But we must pause to say a few words about him now. He was brought up by
Grigory and Marfa, but the boy grew up "with no sense of gratitude," as
Grigory expressed it; he was an unfriendly boy, and seemed to look at the
world mistrustfully. In his childhood he was very fond of hanging cats,
and burying them with great ceremony. He used to dress up in a sheet as
though it were a surplice, and sang, and waved some object over the dead
cat as though it were a censer. All this he did on the sly, with the
greatest secrecy. Grigory caught him once at this diversion and gave him a
sound beating. He shrank into a corner and sulked there for a week. "He
doesn't care for you or me, the monster," Grigory used to say to Marfa,
"and he doesn't care for any one. Are you a human being?" he said,
addressing the boy directly. "You're not a human being. You grew from the
mildew in the bath-house.(2) That's what you are." Smerdyakov, it appeared
afterwards, could never forgive him those words. Grigory taught him to
read and write, and when he was twelve years old, began teaching him the
Scriptures. But this teaching came to nothing. At the second or third
lesson the boy suddenly grinned.

"What's that for?" asked Grigory, looking at him threateningly from under
his spectacles.

"Oh, nothing. God created light on the first day, and the sun, moon, and
stars on the fourth day. Where did the light come from on the first day?"

Grigory was thunderstruck. The boy looked sarcastically at his teacher.
There was something positively condescending in his expression. Grigory
could not restrain himself. "I'll show you where!" he cried, and gave the
boy a violent slap on the cheek. The boy took the slap without a word, but
withdrew into his corner again for some days. A week later he had his
first attack of the disease to which he was subject all the rest of his
life--epilepsy. When Fyodor Pavlovitch heard of it, his attitude to the boy
seemed changed at once. Till then he had taken no notice of him, though he
never scolded him, and always gave him a copeck when he met him.
Sometimes, when he was in good humor, he would send the boy something
sweet from his table. But as soon as he heard of his illness, he showed an
active interest in him, sent for a doctor, and tried remedies, but the
disease turned out to be incurable. The fits occurred, on an average, once
a month, but at various intervals. The fits varied too, in violence: some
were light and some were very severe. Fyodor Pavlovitch strictly forbade
Grigory to use corporal punishment to the boy, and began allowing him to
come upstairs to him. He forbade him to be taught anything whatever for a
time, too. One day when the boy was about fifteen, Fyodor Pavlovitch
noticed him lingering by the bookcase, and reading the titles through the
glass. Fyodor Pavlovitch had a fair number of books--over a hundred--but no
one ever saw him reading. He at once gave Smerdyakov the key of the
bookcase. "Come, read. You shall be my librarian. You'll be better sitting
reading than hanging about the courtyard. Come, read this," and Fyodor
Pavlovitch gave him _Evenings in a Cottage near Dikanka_.

He read a little but didn't like it. He did not once smile, and ended by
frowning.

"Why? Isn't it funny?" asked Fyodor Pavlovitch.

Smerdyakov did not speak.

"Answer, stupid!"

"It's all untrue," mumbled the boy, with a grin.

"Then go to the devil! You have the soul of a lackey. Stay, here's
Smaragdov's _Universal History_. That's all true. Read that."

But Smerdyakov did not get through ten pages of Smaragdov. He thought it
dull. So the bookcase was closed again.

Shortly afterwards Marfa and Grigory reported to Fyodor Pavlovitch that
Smerdyakov was gradually beginning to show an extraordinary
fastidiousness. He would sit before his soup, take up his spoon and look
into the soup, bend over it, examine it, take a spoonful and hold it to
the light.

"What is it? A beetle?" Grigory would ask.

"A fly, perhaps," observed Marfa.

The squeamish youth never answered, but he did the same with his bread,
his meat, and everything he ate. He would hold a piece on his fork to the
light, scrutinize it microscopically, and only after long deliberation
decide to put it in his mouth.

"Ach! What fine gentlemen's airs!" Grigory muttered, looking at him.

When Fyodor Pavlovitch heard of this development in Smerdyakov he
determined to make him his cook, and sent him to Moscow to be trained. He
spent some years there and came back remarkably changed in appearance. He
looked extraordinarily old for his age. His face had grown wrinkled,
yellow, and strangely emasculate. In character he seemed almost exactly
the same as before he went away. He was just as unsociable, and showed not
the slightest inclination for any companionship. In Moscow, too, as we
heard afterwards, he had always been silent. Moscow itself had little
interest for him; he saw very little there, and took scarcely any notice
of anything. He went once to the theater, but returned silent and
displeased with it. On the other hand, he came back to us from Moscow well
dressed, in a clean coat and clean linen. He brushed his clothes most
scrupulously twice a day invariably, and was very fond of cleaning his
smart calf boots with a special English polish, so that they shone like
mirrors. He turned out a first-rate cook. Fyodor Pavlovitch paid him a
salary, almost the whole of which Smerdyakov spent on clothes, pomade,
perfumes, and such things. But he seemed to have as much contempt for the
female sex as for men; he was discreet, almost unapproachable, with them.
Fyodor Pavlovitch began to regard him rather differently. His fits were
becoming more frequent, and on the days he was ill Marfa cooked, which did
not suit Fyodor Pavlovitch at all.

"Why are your fits getting worse?" asked Fyodor Pavlovitch, looking
askance at his new cook. "Would you like to get married? Shall I find you
a wife?"

But Smerdyakov turned pale with anger, and made no reply. Fyodor
Pavlovitch left him with an impatient gesture. The great thing was that he
had absolute confidence in his honesty. It happened once, when Fyodor
Pavlovitch was drunk, that he dropped in the muddy courtyard three
hundred-rouble notes which he had only just received. He only missed them
next day, and was just hastening to search his pockets when he saw the
notes lying on the table. Where had they come from? Smerdyakov had picked
them up and brought them in the day before.

"Well, my lad, I've never met any one like you," Fyodor Pavlovitch said
shortly, and gave him ten roubles. We may add that he not only believed in
his honesty, but had, for some reason, a liking for him, although the
young man looked as morosely at him as at every one and was always silent.
He rarely spoke. If it had occurred to any one to wonder at the time what
the young man was interested in, and what was in his mind, it would have
been impossible to tell by looking at him. Yet he used sometimes to stop
suddenly in the house, or even in the yard or street, and would stand
still for ten minutes, lost in thought. A physiognomist studying his face
would have said that there was no thought in it, no reflection, but only a
sort of contemplation. There is a remarkable picture by the painter
Kramskoy, called "Contemplation." There is a forest in winter, and on a
roadway through the forest, in absolute solitude, stands a peasant in a
torn kaftan and bark shoes. He stands, as it were, lost in thought. Yet he
is not thinking; he is "contemplating." If any one touched him he would
start and look at one as though awakening and bewildered. It's true he
would come to himself immediately; but if he were asked what he had been
thinking about, he would remember nothing. Yet probably he has, hidden
within himself, the impression which had dominated him during the period
of contemplation. Those impressions are dear to him and no doubt he hoards
them imperceptibly, and even unconsciously. How and why, of course, he
does not know either. He may suddenly, after hoarding impressions for many
years, abandon everything and go off to Jerusalem on a pilgrimage for his
soul's salvation, or perhaps he will suddenly set fire to his native
village, and perhaps do both. There are a good many "contemplatives" among
the peasantry. Well, Smerdyakov was probably one of them, and he probably
was greedily hoarding up his impressions, hardly knowing why.

Chapter VII. The Controversy

But Balaam's ass had suddenly spoken. The subject was a strange one.
Grigory had gone in the morning to make purchases, and had heard from the
shopkeeper Lukyanov the story of a Russian soldier which had appeared in
the newspaper of that day. This soldier had been taken prisoner in some
remote part of Asia, and was threatened with an immediate agonizing death
if he did not renounce Christianity and follow Islam. He refused to deny
his faith, and was tortured, flayed alive, and died, praising and
glorifying Christ. Grigory had related the story at table. Fyodor
Pavlovitch always liked, over the dessert after dinner, to laugh and talk,
if only with Grigory. This afternoon he was in a particularly good-humored
and expansive mood. Sipping his brandy and listening to the story, he
observed that they ought to make a saint of a soldier like that, and to
take his skin to some monastery. "That would make the people flock, and
bring the money in."

Grigory frowned, seeing that Fyodor Pavlovitch was by no means touched,
but, as usual, was beginning to scoff. At that moment Smerdyakov, who was
standing by the door, smiled. Smerdyakov often waited at table towards the
end of dinner, and since Ivan's arrival in our town he had done so every
day.

"What are you grinning at?" asked Fyodor Pavlovitch, catching the smile
instantly, and knowing that it referred to Grigory.

"Well, my opinion is," Smerdyakov began suddenly and unexpectedly in a
loud voice, "that if that laudable soldier's exploit was so very great
there would have been, to my thinking, no sin in it if he had on such an
emergency renounced, so to speak, the name of Christ and his own
christening, to save by that same his life, for good deeds, by which, in
the course of years to expiate his cowardice."

"How could it not be a sin? You're talking nonsense. For that you'll go
straight to hell and be roasted there like mutton," put in Fyodor
Pavlovitch.

It was at this point that Alyosha came in, and Fyodor Pavlovitch, as we
have seen, was highly delighted at his appearance.

"We're on your subject, your subject," he chuckled gleefully, making
Alyosha sit down to listen.

"As for mutton, that's not so, and there'll be nothing there for this, and
there shouldn't be either, if it's according to justice," Smerdyakov
maintained stoutly.

"How do you mean 'according to justice'?" Fyodor Pavlovitch cried still
more gayly, nudging Alyosha with his knee.

"He's a rascal, that's what he is!" burst from Grigory. He looked
Smerdyakov wrathfully in the face.

"As for being a rascal, wait a little, Grigory Vassilyevitch," answered
Smerdyakov with perfect composure. "You'd better consider yourself that,
once I am taken prisoner by the enemies of the Christian race, and they
demand from me to curse the name of God and to renounce my holy
christening, I am fully entitled to act by my own reason, since there
would be no sin in it."

"But you've said that before. Don't waste words. Prove it," cried Fyodor
Pavlovitch.

"Soup-maker!" muttered Grigory contemptuously.

"As for being a soup-maker, wait a bit, too, and consider for yourself,
Grigory Vassilyevitch, without abusing me. For as soon as I say to those
enemies, 'No, I'm not a Christian, and I curse my true God,' then at once,
by God's high judgment, I become immediately and specially anathema
accursed, and am cut off from the Holy Church, exactly as though I were a
heathen, so that at that very instant, not only when I say it aloud, but
when I think of saying it, before a quarter of a second has passed, I am
cut off. Is that so or not, Grigory Vassilyevitch?"

He addressed Grigory with obvious satisfaction, though he was really
answering Fyodor Pavlovitch's questions, and was well aware of it, and
intentionally pretending that Grigory had asked the questions.

"Ivan," cried Fyodor Pavlovitch suddenly, "stoop down for me to whisper.
He's got this all up for your benefit. He wants you to praise him. Praise
him."

Ivan listened with perfect seriousness to his father's excited whisper.

"Stay, Smerdyakov, be quiet a minute," cried Fyodor Pavlovitch once more.
"Ivan, your ear again."

Ivan bent down again with a perfectly grave face.

"I love you as I do Alyosha. Don't think I don't love you. Some brandy?"

"Yes.--But you're rather drunk yourself," thought Ivan, looking steadily at
his father.

He was watching Smerdyakov with great curiosity.

"You're anathema accursed, as it is," Grigory suddenly burst out, "and how
dare you argue, you rascal, after that, if--"

"Don't scold him, Grigory, don't scold him," Fyodor Pavlovitch cut him
short.

"You should wait, Grigory Vassilyevitch, if only a short time, and listen,
for I haven't finished all I had to say. For at the very moment I become
accursed, at that same highest moment, I become exactly like a heathen,
and my christening is taken off me and becomes of no avail. Isn't that
so?"

"Make haste and finish, my boy," Fyodor Pavlovitch urged him, sipping from
his wine-glass with relish.

"And if I've ceased to be a Christian, then I told no lie to the enemy
when they asked whether I was a Christian or not a Christian, seeing I had
already been relieved by God Himself of my Christianity by reason of the
thought alone, before I had time to utter a word to the enemy. And if I
have already been discharged, in what manner and with what sort of justice
can I be held responsible as a Christian in the other world for having
denied Christ, when, through the very thought alone, before denying Him I
had been relieved from my christening? If I'm no longer a Christian, then
I can't renounce Christ, for I've nothing then to renounce. Who will hold
an unclean Tatar responsible, Grigory Vassilyevitch, even in heaven, for
not having been born a Christian? And who would punish him for that,
considering that you can't take two skins off one ox? For God Almighty
Himself, even if He did make the Tatar responsible, when he dies would
give him the smallest possible punishment, I imagine (since he must be
punished), judging that he is not to blame if he has come into the world
an unclean heathen, from heathen parents. The Lord God can't surely take a
Tatar and say he was a Christian? That would mean that the Almighty would
tell a real untruth. And can the Lord of Heaven and earth tell a lie, even
in one word?"

Grigory was thunderstruck and looked at the orator, his eyes nearly
starting out of his head. Though he did not clearly understand what was
said, he had caught something in this rigmarole, and stood, looking like a
man who has just hit his head against a wall. Fyodor Pavlovitch emptied
his glass and went off into his shrill laugh.

"Alyosha! Alyosha! What do you say to that! Ah, you casuist! He must have
been with the Jesuits, somewhere, Ivan. Oh, you stinking Jesuit, who
taught you? But you're talking nonsense, you casuist, nonsense, nonsense,
nonsense. Don't cry, Grigory, we'll reduce him to smoke and ashes in a
moment. Tell me this, O ass; you may be right before your enemies, but you
have renounced your faith all the same in your own heart, and you say
yourself that in that very hour you became anathema accursed. And if once
you're anathema they won't pat you on the head for it in hell. What do you
say to that, my fine Jesuit?"

"There is no doubt that I have renounced it in my own heart, but there was
no special sin in that. Or if there was sin, it was the most ordinary."

"How's that the most ordinary?"

"You lie, accursed one!" hissed Grigory.

"Consider yourself, Grigory Vassilyevitch," Smerdyakov went on, staid and
unruffled, conscious of his triumph, but, as it were, generous to the
vanquished foe. "Consider yourself, Grigory Vassilyevitch; it is said in
the Scripture that if you have faith, even as a mustard seed, and bid a
mountain move into the sea, it will move without the least delay at your
bidding. Well, Grigory Vassilyevitch, if I'm without faith and you have so
great a faith that you are continually swearing at me, you try yourself
telling this mountain, not to move into the sea for that's a long way off,
but even to our stinking little river which runs at the bottom of the
garden. You'll see for yourself that it won't budge, but will remain just
where it is however much you shout at it, and that shows, Grigory
Vassilyevitch, that you haven't faith in the proper manner, and only abuse
others about it. Again, taking into consideration that no one in our day,
not only you, but actually no one, from the highest person to the lowest
peasant, can shove mountains into the sea--except perhaps some one man in
the world, or, at most, two, and they most likely are saving their souls
in secret somewhere in the Egyptian desert, so you wouldn't find them--if
so it be, if all the rest have no faith, will God curse all the rest? that
is, the population of the whole earth, except about two hermits in the
desert, and in His well-known mercy will He not forgive one of them? And
so I'm persuaded that though I may once have doubted I shall be forgiven
if I shed tears of repentance."

"Stay!" cried Fyodor Pavlovitch, in a transport of delight. "So you do
suppose there are two who can move mountains? Ivan, make a note of it,
write it down. There you have the Russian all over!"

"You're quite right in saying it's characteristic of the people's faith,"
Ivan assented, with an approving smile.

"You agree. Then it must be so, if you agree. It's true, isn't it,
Alyosha? That's the Russian faith all over, isn't it?"

"No, Smerdyakov has not the Russian faith at all," said Alyosha firmly and
gravely.

"I'm not talking about his faith. I mean those two in the desert, only
that idea. Surely that's Russian, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's purely Russian," said Alyosha smiling.

"Your words are worth a gold piece, O ass, and I'll give it to you to-day.
But as to the rest you talk nonsense, nonsense, nonsense. Let me tell you,
stupid, that we here are all of little faith, only from carelessness,
because we haven't time; things are too much for us, and, in the second
place, the Lord God has given us so little time, only twenty-four hours in
the day, so that one hasn't even time to get sleep enough, much less to
repent of one's sins. While you have denied your faith to your enemies
when you'd nothing else to think about but to show your faith! So I
consider, brother, that it constitutes a sin."

"Constitute a sin it may, but consider yourself, Grigory Vassilyevitch,
that it only extenuates it, if it does constitute. If I had believed then
in very truth, as I ought to have believed, then it really would have been
sinful if I had not faced tortures for my faith, and had gone over to the
pagan Mohammedan faith. But, of course, it wouldn't have come to torture
then, because I should only have had to say at that instant to the
mountain, 'Move and crush the tormentor,' and it would have moved and at
the very instant have crushed him like a black-beetle, and I should have
walked away as though nothing had happened, praising and glorifying God.
But, suppose at that very moment I had tried all that, and cried to that
mountain, 'Crush these tormentors,' and it hadn't crushed them, how could
I have helped doubting, pray, at such a time, and at such a dread hour of
mortal terror? And apart from that, I should know already that I could not
attain to the fullness of the Kingdom of Heaven (for since the mountain
had not moved at my word, they could not think very much of my faith up
aloft, and there could be no very great reward awaiting me in the world to
come). So why should I let them flay the skin off me as well, and to no
good purpose? For, even though they had flayed my skin half off my back,
even then the mountain would not have moved at my word or at my cry. And
at such a moment not only doubt might come over one but one might lose
one's reason from fear, so that one would not be able to think at all.
And, therefore, how should I be particularly to blame if not seeing my
advantage or reward there or here, I should, at least, save my skin. And
so trusting fully in the grace of the Lord I should cherish the hope that
I might be altogether forgiven."

Chapter VIII. Over The Brandy

The controversy was over. But, strange to say, Fyodor Pavlovitch, who had
been so gay, suddenly began frowning. He frowned and gulped brandy, and it
was already a glass too much.

"Get along with you, Jesuits!" he cried to the servants. "Go away,
Smerdyakov. I'll send you the gold piece I promised you to-day, but be
off! Don't cry, Grigory. Go to Marfa. She'll comfort you and put you to
bed. The rascals won't let us sit in peace after dinner," he snapped
peevishly, as the servants promptly withdrew at his word.

"Smerdyakov always pokes himself in now, after dinner. It's you he's so
interested in. What have you done to fascinate him?" he added to Ivan.

"Nothing whatever," answered Ivan. "He's pleased to have a high opinion of
me; he's a lackey and a mean soul. Raw material for revolution, however,
when the time comes."

"For revolution?"

"There will be others and better ones. But there will be some like him as
well. His kind will come first, and better ones after."

"And when will the time come?"

"The rocket will go off and fizzle out, perhaps. The peasants are not very
fond of listening to these soup-makers, so far."

"Ah, brother, but a Balaam's ass like that thinks and thinks, and the
devil knows where he gets to."

"He's storing up ideas," said Ivan, smiling.

"You see, I know he can't bear me, nor any one else, even you, though you
fancy that he has a high opinion of you. Worse still with Alyosha, he
despises Alyosha. But he doesn't steal, that's one thing, and he's not a
gossip, he holds his tongue, and doesn't wash our dirty linen in public.
He makes capital fish pasties too. But, damn him, is he worth talking
about so much?"

"Of course he isn't."

"And as for the ideas he may be hatching, the Russian peasant, generally
speaking, needs thrashing. That I've always maintained. Our peasants are
swindlers, and don't deserve to be pitied, and it's a good thing they're
still flogged sometimes. Russia is rich in birches. If they destroyed the
forests, it would be the ruin of Russia. I stand up for the clever people.
We've left off thrashing the peasants, we've grown so clever, but they go
on thrashing themselves. And a good thing too. 'For with what measure ye
mete it shall be measured to you again,' or how does it go? Anyhow, it
will be measured. But Russia's all swinishness. My dear, if you only knew
how I hate Russia.... That is, not Russia, but all this vice! But maybe I
mean Russia. _Tout cela c'est de la cochonnerie_.... Do you know what I
like? I like wit."

"You've had another glass. That's enough."

"Wait a bit. I'll have one more, and then another, and then I'll stop. No,
stay, you interrupted me. At Mokroe I was talking to an old man, and he
told me: 'There's nothing we like so much as sentencing girls to be
thrashed, and we always give the lads the job of thrashing them. And the
girl he has thrashed to-day, the young man will ask in marriage to-morrow.
So it quite suits the girls, too,' he said. There's a set of de Sades for
you! But it's clever, anyway. Shall we go over and have a look at it, eh?
Alyosha, are you blushing? Don't be bashful, child. I'm sorry I didn't
stay to dinner at the Superior's and tell the monks about the girls at
Mokroe. Alyosha, don't be angry that I offended your Superior this
morning. I lost my temper. If there is a God, if He exists, then, of
course, I'm to blame, and I shall have to answer for it. But if there
isn't a God at all, what do they deserve, your fathers? It's not enough to
cut their heads off, for they keep back progress. Would you believe it,
Ivan, that that lacerates my sentiments? No, you don't believe it as I see
from your eyes. You believe what people say, that I'm nothing but a
buffoon. Alyosha, do you believe that I'm nothing but a buffoon?"

"No, I don't believe it."

"And I believe you don't, and that you speak the truth. You look sincere
and you speak sincerely. But not Ivan. Ivan's supercilious.... I'd make an
end of your monks, though, all the same. I'd take all that mystic stuff
and suppress it, once for all, all over Russia, so as to bring all the
fools to reason. And the gold and the silver that would flow into the
mint!"

"But why suppress it?" asked Ivan.

"That Truth may prevail. That's why."

"Well, if Truth were to prevail, you know, you'd be the first to be robbed
and suppressed."

"Ah! I dare say you're right. Ah, I'm an ass!" burst out Fyodor
Pavlovitch, striking himself lightly on the forehead. "Well, your
monastery may stand then, Alyosha, if that's how it is. And we clever
people will sit snug and enjoy our brandy. You know, Ivan, it must have
been so ordained by the Almighty Himself. Ivan, speak, is there a God or
not? Stay, speak the truth, speak seriously. Why are you laughing again?"

"I'm laughing that you should have made a clever remark just now about
Smerdyakov's belief in the existence of two saints who could move
mountains."

"Why, am I like him now, then?"

"Very much."

"Well, that shows I'm a Russian, too, and I have a Russian characteristic.
And you may be caught in the same way, though you are a philosopher. Shall
I catch you? What do you bet that I'll catch you to-morrow. Speak, all the
same, is there a God, or not? Only, be serious. I want you to be serious
now."

"No, there is no God."

"Alyosha, is there a God?"

"There is."

"Ivan, and is there immortality of some sort, just a little, just a tiny
bit?"

"There is no immortality either."

"None at all?"

"None at all."

"There's absolute nothingness then. Perhaps there is just something?
Anything is better than nothing!"

"Absolute nothingness."

"Alyosha, is there immortality?"

"There is."

"God and immortality?"

"God and immortality. In God is immortality."

"H'm! It's more likely Ivan's right. Good Lord! to think what faith, what
force of all kinds, man has lavished for nothing, on that dream, and for
how many thousand years. Who is it laughing at man? Ivan! For the last
time, once for all, is there a God or not? I ask for the last time!"

"And for the last time there is not."

"Who is laughing at mankind, Ivan?"

"It must be the devil," said Ivan, smiling.

"And the devil? Does he exist?"

"No, there's no devil either."

"It's a pity. Damn it all, what wouldn't I do to the man who first
invented God! Hanging on a bitter aspen tree would be too good for him."

"There would have been no civilization if they hadn't invented God."

"Wouldn't there have been? Without God?"

"No. And there would have been no brandy either. But I must take your
brandy away from you, anyway."

"Stop, stop, stop, dear boy, one more little glass. I've hurt Alyosha's
feelings. You're not angry with me, Alyosha? My dear little Alexey!"

"No, I am not angry. I know your thoughts. Your heart is better than your
head."

"My heart better than my head, is it? Oh, Lord! And that from you. Ivan,
do you love Alyosha?"

"Yes."

"You must love him" (Fyodor Pavlovitch was by this time very drunk).
"Listen, Alyosha, I was rude to your elder this morning. But I was
excited. But there's wit in that elder, don't you think, Ivan?"

"Very likely."

"There is, there is. _Il y a du Piron la-dedans._ He's a Jesuit, a Russian
one, that is. As he's an honorable person there's a hidden indignation
boiling within him at having to pretend and affect holiness."

"But, of course, he believes in God."

"Not a bit of it. Didn't you know? Why, he tells every one so, himself.
That is, not every one, but all the clever people who come to him. He said
straight out to Governor Schultz not long ago: '_Credo_, but I don't know
in what.' "

"Really?"

"He really did. But I respect him. There's something of Mephistopheles
about him, or rather of 'The hero of our time' ... Arbenin, or what's his
name?... You see, he's a sensualist. He's such a sensualist that I should
be afraid for my daughter or my wife if she went to confess to him. You
know, when he begins telling stories.... The year before last he invited
us to tea, tea with liqueur (the ladies send him liqueur), and began
telling us about old times till we nearly split our sides.... Especially
how he once cured a paralyzed woman. 'If my legs were not bad I know a
dance I could dance you,' he said. What do you say to that? 'I've plenty
of tricks in my time,' said he. He did Dernidov, the merchant, out of
sixty thousand."

"What, he stole it?"

"He brought him the money as a man he could trust, saying, 'Take care of
it for me, friend, there'll be a police search at my place to-morrow.' And
he kept it. 'You have given it to the Church,' he declared. I said to him:
'You're a scoundrel,' I said. 'No,' said he, 'I'm not a scoundrel, but I'm
broad-minded.' But that wasn't he, that was some one else. I've muddled
him with some one else ... without noticing it. Come, another glass and
that's enough. Take away the bottle, Ivan. I've been telling lies. Why
didn't you stop me, Ivan, and tell me I was lying?"

"I knew you'd stop of yourself."

"That's a lie. You did it from spite, from simple spite against me. You
despise me. You have come to me and despised me in my own house."

"Well, I'm going away. You've had too much brandy."

"I've begged you for Christ's sake to go to Tchermashnya for a day or two,
and you don't go."

"I'll go to-morrow if you're so set upon it."

"You won't go. You want to keep an eye on me. That's what you want,
spiteful fellow. That's why you won't go."

The old man persisted. He had reached that state of drunkenness when the
drunkard who has till then been inoffensive tries to pick a quarrel and to
assert himself.

"Why are you looking at me? Why do you look like that? Your eyes look at
me and say, 'You ugly drunkard!' Your eyes are mistrustful. They're
contemptuous.... You've come here with some design. Alyosha, here, looks
at me and his eyes shine. Alyosha doesn't despise me. Alexey, you mustn't
love Ivan."

"Don't be ill-tempered with my brother. Leave off attacking him," Alyosha
said emphatically.

"Oh, all right. Ugh, my head aches. Take away the brandy, Ivan. It's the
third time I've told you."

He mused, and suddenly a slow, cunning grin spread over his face.

"Don't be angry with a feeble old man, Ivan. I know you don't love me, but
don't be angry all the same. You've nothing to love me for. You go to
Tchermashnya. I'll come to you myself and bring you a present. I'll show
you a little wench there. I've had my eye on her a long time. She's still
running about bare-foot. Don't be afraid of bare-footed wenches--don't
despise them--they're pearls!"

And he kissed his hand with a smack.

"To my thinking," he revived at once, seeming to grow sober the instant he
touched on his favorite topic. "To my thinking ... Ah, you boys! You
children, little sucking-pigs, to my thinking ... I never thought a woman
ugly in my life--that's been my rule! Can you understand that? How could
you understand it? You've milk in your veins, not blood. You're not out of
your shells yet. My rule has been that you can always find something
devilishly interesting in every woman that you wouldn't find in any other.
Only, one must know how to find it, that's the point! That's a talent! To
my mind there are no ugly women. The very fact that she is a woman is half
the battle ... but how could you understand that? Even in _vieilles
filles_, even in them you may discover something that makes you simply
wonder that men have been such fools as to let them grow old without
noticing them. Bare-footed girls or unattractive ones, you must take by
surprise. Didn't you know that? You must astound them till they're
fascinated, upset, ashamed that such a gentleman should fall in love with
such a little slut. It's a jolly good thing that there always are and will
be masters and slaves in the world, so there always will be a little maid-
of-all-work and her master, and you know, that's all that's needed for
happiness. Stay ... listen, Alyosha, I always used to surprise your
mother, but in a different way. I paid no attention to her at all, but all
at once, when the minute came, I'd be all devotion to her, crawl on my
knees, kiss her feet, and I always, always--I remember it as though it were
to-day--reduced her to that tinkling, quiet, nervous, queer little laugh.
It was peculiar to her. I knew her attacks always used to begin like that.
The next day she would begin shrieking hysterically, and this little laugh
was not a sign of delight, though it made a very good counterfeit. That's
the great thing, to know how to take every one. Once Belyavsky--he was a
handsome fellow, and rich--used to like to come here and hang about
her--suddenly gave me a slap in the face in her presence. And she--such a
mild sheep--why, I thought she would have knocked me down for that blow.
How she set on me! 'You're beaten, beaten now,' she said. 'You've taken a
blow from him. You have been trying to sell me to him,' she said.... 'And
how dared he strike you in my presence! Don't dare come near me again,
never, never! Run at once, challenge him to a duel!'... I took her to the
monastery then to bring her to her senses. The holy Fathers prayed her
back to reason. But I swear, by God, Alyosha, I never insulted the poor
crazy girl! Only once, perhaps, in the first year; then she was very fond
of praying. She used to keep the feasts of Our Lady particularly and used
to turn me out of her room then. I'll knock that mysticism out of her,
thought I! 'Here,' said I, 'you see your holy image. Here it is. Here I
take it down. You believe it's miraculous, but here, I'll spit on it
directly and nothing will happen to me for it!'... When she saw it, good
Lord! I thought she would kill me. But she only jumped up, wrung her
hands, then suddenly hid her face in them, began trembling all over and
fell on the floor ... fell all of a heap. Alyosha, Alyosha, what's the
matter?"

The old man jumped up in alarm. From the time he had begun speaking about
his mother, a change had gradually come over Alyosha's face. He flushed
crimson, his eyes glowed, his lips quivered. The old sot had gone
spluttering on, noticing nothing, till the moment when something very
strange happened to Alyosha. Precisely what he was describing in the crazy
woman was suddenly repeated with Alyosha. He jumped up from his seat
exactly as his mother was said to have done, wrung his hands, hid his face
in them, and fell back in his chair, shaking all over in an hysterical
paroxysm of sudden violent, silent weeping. His extraordinary resemblance
to his mother particularly impressed the old man.

"Ivan, Ivan! Water, quickly! It's like her, exactly as she used to be
then, his mother. Spurt some water on him from your mouth, that's what I
used to do to her. He's upset about his mother, his mother," he muttered
to Ivan.

"But she was my mother, too, I believe, his mother. Was she not?" said
Ivan, with uncontrolled anger and contempt. The old man shrank before his
flashing eyes. But something very strange had happened, though only for a
second; it seemed really to have escaped the old man's mind that Alyosha's
mother actually was the mother of Ivan too.

"Your mother?" he muttered, not understanding. "What do you mean? What
mother are you talking about? Was she?... Why, damn it! of course she was
yours too! Damn it! My mind has never been so darkened before. Excuse me,
why, I was thinking, Ivan.... He he he!" He stopped. A broad, drunken,
half-senseless grin overspread his face.

At that moment a fearful noise and clamor was heard in the hall, there
were violent shouts, the door was flung open, and Dmitri burst into the
room. The old man rushed to Ivan in terror.

"He'll kill me! He'll kill me! Don't let him get at me!" he screamed,
clinging to the skirt of Ivan's coat.

Chapter IX. The Sensualists

Grigory and Smerdyakov ran into the room after Dmitri. They had been
struggling with him in the passage, refusing to admit him, acting on
instructions given them by Fyodor Pavlovitch some days before. Taking
advantage of the fact that Dmitri stopped a moment on entering the room to
look about him, Grigory ran round the table, closed the double doors on
the opposite side of the room leading to the inner apartments, and stood
before the closed doors, stretching wide his arms, prepared to defend the
entrance, so to speak, with the last drop of his blood. Seeing this,
Dmitri uttered a scream rather than a shout and rushed at Grigory.

"Then she's there! She's hidden there! Out of the way, scoundrel!"

He tried to pull Grigory away, but the old servant pushed him back. Beside
himself with fury, Dmitri struck out, and hit Grigory with all his might.
The old man fell like a log, and Dmitri, leaping over him, broke in the
door. Smerdyakov remained pale and trembling at the other end of the room,
huddling close to Fyodor Pavlovitch.

"She's here!" shouted Dmitri. "I saw her turn towards the house just now,
but I couldn't catch her. Where is she? Where is she?"

That shout, "She's here!" produced an indescribable effect on Fyodor
Pavlovitch. All his terror left him.

"Hold him! Hold him!" he cried, and dashed after Dmitri. Meanwhile Grigory
had got up from the floor, but still seemed stunned. Ivan and Alyosha ran
after their father. In the third room something was heard to fall on the
floor with a ringing crash: it was a large glass vase--not an expensive
one--on a marble pedestal which Dmitri had upset as he ran past it.

"At him!" shouted the old man. "Help!"

Ivan and Alyosha caught the old man and were forcibly bringing him back.

"Why do you run after him? He'll murder you outright," Ivan cried
wrathfully at his father.

"Ivan! Alyosha! She must be here. Grushenka's here. He said he saw her
himself, running."

He was choking. He was not expecting Grushenka at the time, and the sudden
news that she was here made him beside himself. He was trembling all over.
He seemed frantic.

"But you've seen for yourself that she hasn't come," cried Ivan.

"But she may have come by that other entrance."

"You know that entrance is locked, and you have the key."

Dmitri suddenly reappeared in the drawing-room. He had, of course, found
the other entrance locked, and the key actually was in Fyodor Pavlovitch's
pocket. The windows of all the rooms were also closed, so Grushenka could
not have come in anywhere nor have run out anywhere.

"Hold him!" shrieked Fyodor Pavlovitch, as soon as he saw him again. "He's
been stealing money in my bedroom." And tearing himself from Ivan he
rushed again at Dmitri. But Dmitri threw up both hands and suddenly
clutched the old man by the two tufts of hair that remained on his
temples, tugged at them, and flung him with a crash on the floor. He
kicked him two or three times with his heel in the face. The old man
moaned shrilly. Ivan, though not so strong as Dmitri, threw his arms round
him, and with all his might pulled him away. Alyosha helped him with his
slender strength, holding Dmitri in front.

"Madman! You've killed him!" cried Ivan.

"Serve him right!" shouted Dmitri breathlessly. "If I haven't killed him,
I'll come again and kill him. You can't protect him!"

"Dmitri! Go away at once!" cried Alyosha commandingly.

"Alexey! You tell me. It's only you I can believe; was she here just now,
or not? I saw her myself creeping this way by the fence from the lane. I
shouted, she ran away."

"I swear she's not been here, and no one expected her."

"But I saw her.... So she must ... I'll find out at once where she is....
Good-by, Alexey! Not a word to AEsop about the money now. But go to
Katerina Ivanovna at once and be sure to say, 'He sends his compliments to
you!' Compliments, his compliments! Just compliments and farewell!
Describe the scene to her."

Meanwhile Ivan and Grigory had raised the old man and seated him in an
arm-chair. His face was covered with blood, but he was conscious and
listened greedily to Dmitri's cries. He was still fancying that Grushenka
really was somewhere in the house. Dmitri looked at him with hatred as he
went out.

"I don't repent shedding your blood!" he cried. "Beware, old man, beware
of your dream, for I have my dream, too. I curse you, and disown you
altogether."

He ran out of the room.

"She's here. She must be here. Smerdyakov! Smerdyakov!" the old man
wheezed, scarcely audibly, beckoning to him with his finger.

"No, she's not here, you old lunatic!" Ivan shouted at him angrily. "Here,
he's fainting! Water! A towel! Make haste, Smerdyakov!"

Smerdyakov ran for water. At last they got the old man undressed, and put
him to bed. They wrapped a wet towel round his head. Exhausted by the
brandy, by his violent emotion, and the blows he had received, he shut his
eyes and fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow. Ivan and
Alyosha went back to the drawing-room. Smerdyakov removed the fragments of
the broken vase, while Grigory stood by the table looking gloomily at the
floor.

"Shouldn't you put a wet bandage on your head and go to bed, too?" Alyosha
said to him. "We'll look after him. My brother gave you a terrible blow--on
the head."

"He's insulted me!" Grigory articulated gloomily and distinctly.

"He's 'insulted' his father, not only you," observed Ivan with a forced
smile.

"I used to wash him in his tub. He's insulted me," repeated Grigory.

"Damn it all, if I hadn't pulled him away perhaps he'd have murdered him.
It wouldn't take much to do for AEsop, would it?" whispered Ivan to
Alyosha.

"God forbid!" cried Alyosha.

"Why should He forbid?" Ivan went on in the same whisper, with a malignant
grimace. "One reptile will devour the other. And serve them both right,
too."

Alyosha shuddered.

"Of course I won't let him be murdered as I didn't just now. Stay here,
Alyosha, I'll go for a turn in the yard. My head's begun to ache."

Alyosha went to his father's bedroom and sat by his bedside behind the
screen for about an hour. The old man suddenly opened his eyes and gazed
for a long while at Alyosha, evidently remembering and meditating. All at
once his face betrayed extraordinary excitement.

"Alyosha," he whispered apprehensively, "where's Ivan?"

"In the yard. He's got a headache. He's on the watch."

"Give me that looking-glass. It stands over there. Give it me."

Alyosha gave him a little round folding looking-glass which stood on the
chest of drawers. The old man looked at himself in it; his nose was
considerably swollen, and on the left side of his forehead there was a
rather large crimson bruise.

"What does Ivan say? Alyosha, my dear, my only son, I'm afraid of Ivan.
I'm more afraid of Ivan than the other. You're the only one I'm not afraid
of...."

"Don't be afraid of Ivan either. He is angry, but he'll defend you."

"Alyosha, and what of the other? He's run to Grushenka. My angel, tell me
the truth, was she here just now or not?"

"No one has seen her. It was a mistake. She has not been here."

"You know Mitya wants to marry her, to marry her."

"She won't marry him."

"She won't. She won't. She won't. She won't on any account!"

The old man fairly fluttered with joy, as though nothing more comforting
could have been said to him. In his delight he seized Alyosha's hand and
pressed it warmly to his heart. Tears positively glittered in his eyes.

"That image of the Mother of God of which I was telling you just now," he
said. "Take it home and keep it for yourself. And I'll let you go back to
the monastery.... I was joking this morning, don't be angry with me. My
head aches, Alyosha.... Alyosha, comfort my heart. Be an angel and tell me
the truth!"

"You're still asking whether she has been here or not?" Alyosha said
sorrowfully.

"No, no, no. I believe you. I'll tell you what it is: you go to Grushenka
yourself, or see her somehow; make haste and ask her; see for yourself,
which she means to choose, him or me. Eh? What? Can you?"

"If I see her I'll ask her," Alyosha muttered, embarrassed.

"No, she won't tell you," the old man interrupted, "she's a rogue. She'll
begin kissing you and say that it's you she wants. She's a deceitful,
shameless hussy. You mustn't go to her, you mustn't!"

"No, father, and it wouldn't be suitable, it wouldn't be right at all."

"Where was he sending you just now? He shouted 'Go' as he ran away."

"To Katerina Ivanovna."

"For money? To ask her for money?"

"No. Not for money."

"He's no money; not a farthing. I'll settle down for the night, and think
things over, and you can go. Perhaps you'll meet her.... Only be sure to
come to me to-morrow in the morning. Be sure to. I have a word to say to
you to-morrow. Will you come?"

"Yes."

"When you come, pretend you've come of your own accord to ask after me.
Don't tell any one I told you to. Don't say a word to Ivan."

"Very well."

"Good-by, my angel. You stood up for me, just now. I shall never forget
it. I've a word to say to you to-morrow--but I must think about it."

"And how do you feel now?"

"I shall get up to-morrow and go out, perfectly well, perfectly well!"

Crossing the yard Alyosha found Ivan sitting on the bench at the gateway.
He was sitting writing something in pencil in his note-book. Alyosha told
Ivan that their father had waked up, was conscious, and had let him go
back to sleep at the monastery.

"Alyosha, I should be very glad to meet you to-morrow morning," said Ivan
cordially, standing up. His cordiality was a complete surprise to Alyosha.

"I shall be at the Hohlakovs' to-morrow," answered Alyosha, "I may be at
Katerina Ivanovna's, too, if I don't find her now."

"But you're going to her now, anyway? For that 'compliments and
farewell,' " said Ivan smiling. Alyosha was disconcerted.

"I think I quite understand his exclamations just now, and part of what
went before. Dmitri has asked you to go to her and say that he--well, in
fact--takes his leave of her?"

"Brother, how will all this horror end between father and Dmitri?"
exclaimed Alyosha.

"One can't tell for certain. Perhaps in nothing: it may all fizzle out.
That woman is a beast. In any case we must keep the old man indoors and
not let Dmitri in the house."

"Brother, let me ask one thing more: has any man a right to look at other
men and decide which is worthy to live?"

"Why bring in the question of worth? The matter is most often decided in
men's hearts on other grounds much more natural. And as for rights--who has
not the right to wish?"

"Not for another man's death?"

"What even if for another man's death? Why lie to oneself since all men
live so and perhaps cannot help living so. Are you referring to what I
said just now--that one reptile will devour the other? In that case let me
ask you, do you think me like Dmitri capable of shedding AEsop's blood,
murdering him, eh?"

"What are you saying, Ivan? Such an idea never crossed my mind. I don't
think Dmitri is capable of it, either."

"Thanks, if only for that," smiled Ivan. "Be sure, I should always defend
him. But in my wishes I reserve myself full latitude in this case. Good-by
till to-morrow. Don't condemn me, and don't look on me as a villain," he
added with a smile.

They shook hands warmly as they had never done before. Alyosha felt that
his brother had taken the first step towards him, and that he had
certainly done this with some definite motive.

Chapter X. Both Together

Alyosha left his father's house feeling even more exhausted and dejected
in spirit than when he had entered it. His mind too seemed shattered and
unhinged, while he felt that he was afraid to put together the disjointed
fragments and form a general idea from all the agonizing and conflicting
experiences of the day. He felt something bordering upon despair, which he
had never known till then. Towering like a mountain above all the rest
stood the fatal, insoluble question: How would things end between his
father and his brother Dmitri with this terrible woman? Now he had himself
been a witness of it, he had been present and seen them face to face. Yet
only his brother Dmitri could be made unhappy, terribly, completely
unhappy: there was trouble awaiting him. It appeared too that there were
other people concerned, far more so than Alyosha could have supposed
before. There was something positively mysterious in it, too. Ivan had
made a step towards him, which was what Alyosha had been long desiring.
Yet now he felt for some reason that he was frightened at it. And these
women? Strange to say, that morning he had set out for Katerina Ivanovna's
in the greatest embarrassment; now he felt nothing of the kind. On the
contrary, he was hastening there as though expecting to find guidance from
her. Yet to give her this message was obviously more difficult than
before. The matter of the three thousand was decided irrevocably, and
Dmitri, feeling himself dishonored and losing his last hope, might sink to
any depth. He had, moreover, told him to describe to Katerina Ivanovna the
scene which had just taken place with his father.

It was by now seven o'clock, and it was getting dark as Alyosha entered
the very spacious and convenient house in the High Street occupied by
Katerina Ivanovna. Alyosha knew that she lived with two aunts. One of
them, a woman of little education, was that aunt of her half-sister Agafya
Ivanovna who had looked after her in her father's house when she came from
boarding-school. The other aunt was a Moscow lady of style and
consequence, though in straitened circumstances. It was said that they
both gave way in everything to Katerina Ivanovna, and that she only kept
them with her as chaperons. Katerina Ivanovna herself gave way to no one
but her benefactress, the general's widow, who had been kept by illness in
Moscow, and to whom she was obliged to write twice a week a full account
of all her doings.

When Alyosha entered the hall and asked the maid who opened the door to
him to take his name up, it was evident that they were already aware of
his arrival. Possibly he had been noticed from the window. At least,
Alyosha heard a noise, caught the sound of flying footsteps and rustling
skirts. Two or three women, perhaps, had run out of the room.

Alyosha thought it strange that his arrival should cause such excitement.
He was conducted however to the drawing-room at once. It was a large room,
elegantly and amply furnished, not at all in provincial style. There were
many sofas, lounges, settees, big and little tables. There were pictures
on the walls, vases and lamps on the tables, masses of flowers, and even
an aquarium in the window. It was twilight and rather dark. Alyosha made
out a silk mantle thrown down on the sofa, where people had evidently just
been sitting; and on a table in front of the sofa were two unfinished cups
of chocolate, cakes, a glass saucer with blue raisins, and another with
sweetmeats. Alyosha saw that he had interrupted visitors, and frowned. But
at that instant the portiere was raised, and with rapid, hurrying
footsteps Katerina Ivanovna came in, holding out both hands to Alyosha
with a radiant smile of delight. At the same instant a servant brought in
two lighted candles and set them on the table.

"Thank God! At last you have come too! I've been simply praying for you
all day! Sit down."

Alyosha had been struck by Katerina Ivanovna's beauty when, three weeks
before, Dmitri had first brought him, at Katerina Ivanovna's special
request, to be introduced to her. There had been no conversation between
them at that interview, however. Supposing Alyosha to be very shy,
Katerina Ivanovna had talked all the time to Dmitri to spare him. Alyosha
had been silent, but he had seen a great deal very clearly. He was struck
by the imperiousness, proud ease, and self-confidence of the haughty girl.
And all that was certain, Alyosha felt that he was not exaggerating it. He
thought her great glowing black eyes were very fine, especially with her
pale, even rather sallow, longish face. But in those eyes and in the lines
of her exquisite lips there was something with which his brother might
well be passionately in love, but which perhaps could not be loved for
long. He expressed this thought almost plainly to Dmitri when, after the
visit, his brother besought and insisted that he should not conceal his
impressions on seeing his betrothed.

"You'll be happy with her, but perhaps--not tranquilly happy."

"Quite so, brother. Such people remain always the same. They don't yield
to fate. So you think I shan't love her for ever."

"No; perhaps you will love her for ever. But perhaps you won't always be
happy with her."

Alyosha had given his opinion at the time, blushing, and angry with
himself for having yielded to his brother's entreaties and put such
"foolish" ideas into words. For his opinion had struck him as awfully
foolish immediately after he had uttered it. He felt ashamed too of having
given so confident an opinion about a woman. It was with the more
amazement that he felt now, at the first glance at Katerina Ivanovna as
she ran in to him, that he had perhaps been utterly mistaken. This time
her face was beaming with spontaneous good-natured kindliness, and direct
warm-hearted sincerity. The "pride and haughtiness," which had struck
Alyosha so much before, was only betrayed now in a frank, generous energy
and a sort of bright, strong faith in herself. Alyosha realized at the
first glance, at the first word, that all the tragedy of her position in
relation to the man she loved so dearly was no secret to her; that she
perhaps already knew everything, positively everything. And yet, in spite
of that, there was such brightness in her face, such faith in the future.
Alyosha felt at once that he had gravely wronged her in his thoughts. He
was conquered and captivated immediately. Besides all this, he noticed at
her first words that she was in great excitement, an excitement perhaps
quite exceptional and almost approaching ecstasy.

"I was so eager to see you, because I can learn from you the whole
truth--from you and no one else."

"I have come," muttered Alyosha confusedly, "I--he sent me."

"Ah, he sent you! I foresaw that. Now I know everything--everything!" cried
Katerina Ivanovna, her eyes flashing. "Wait a moment, Alexey Fyodorovitch,
I'll tell you why I've been so longing to see you. You see, I know perhaps
far more than you do yourself, and there's no need for you to tell me
anything. I'll tell you what I want from you. I want to know your own last
impression of him. I want you to tell me most directly, plainly, coarsely
even (oh, as coarsely as you like!), what you thought of him just now and
of his position after your meeting with him to-day. That will perhaps be
better than if I had a personal explanation with him, as he does not want
to come to me. Do you understand what I want from you? Now, tell me
simply, tell me every word of the message he sent you with (I knew he
would send you)."

"He told me to give you his compliments--and to say that he would never
come again--but to give you his compliments."

"His compliments? Was that what he said--his own expression?"

"Yes."

"Accidentally perhaps he made a mistake in the word, perhaps he did not
use the right word?"

"No; he told me precisely to repeat that word. He begged me two or three
times not to forget to say so."

Katerina Ivanovna flushed hotly.

"Help me now, Alexey Fyodorovitch. Now I really need your help. I'll tell
you what I think, and you must simply say whether it's right or not.
Listen! If he had sent me his compliments in passing, without insisting on
your repeating the words, without emphasizing them, that would be the end
of everything! But if he particularly insisted on those words, if he
particularly told you not to forget to repeat them to me, then perhaps he
was in excitement, beside himself. He had made his decision and was
frightened at it. He wasn't walking away from me with a resolute step, but
leaping headlong. The emphasis on that phrase may have been simply
bravado."

"Yes, yes!" cried Alyosha warmly. "I believe that is it."

"And, if so, he's not altogether lost. I can still save him. Stay! Did he
not tell you anything about money--about three thousand roubles?"

"He did speak about it, and it's that more than anything that's crushing
him. He said he had lost his honor and that nothing matters now," Alyosha
answered warmly, feeling a rush of hope in his heart and believing that
there really might be a way of escape and salvation for his brother. "But
do you know about the money?" he added, and suddenly broke off.

"I've known of it a long time; I telegraphed to Moscow to inquire, and
heard long ago that the money had not arrived. He hadn't sent the money,
but I said nothing. Last week I learnt that he was still in need of money.
My only object in all this was that he should know to whom to turn, and
who was his true friend. No, he won't recognize that I am his truest
friend; he won't know me, and looks on me merely as a woman. I've been
tormented all the week, trying to think how to prevent him from being
ashamed to face me because he spent that three thousand. Let him feel
ashamed of himself, let him be ashamed of other people's knowing, but not
of my knowing. He can tell God everything without shame. Why is it he
still does not understand how much I am ready to bear for his sake? Why,
why doesn't he know me? How dare he not know me after all that has
happened? I want to save him for ever. Let him forget me as his betrothed.
And here he fears that he is dishonored in my eyes. Why, he wasn't afraid
to be open with you, Alexey Fyodorovitch. How is it that I don't deserve
the same?"

The last words she uttered in tears. Tears gushed from her eyes.

"I must tell you," Alyosha began, his voice trembling too, "what happened
just now between him and my father."

And he described the whole scene, how Dmitri had sent him to get the
money, how he had broken in, knocked his father down, and after that had
again specially and emphatically begged him to take his compliments and
farewell. "He went to that woman," Alyosha added softly.

"And do you suppose that I can't put up with that woman? Does he think I
can't? But he won't marry her," she suddenly laughed nervously. "Could
such a passion last for ever in a Karamazov? It's passion, not love. He
won't marry her because she won't marry him." Again Katerina Ivanovna
laughed strangely.

"He may marry her," said Alyosha mournfully, looking down.

"He won't marry her, I tell you. That girl is an angel. Do you know that?
Do you know that?" Katerina Ivanovna exclaimed suddenly with extraordinary
warmth. "She is one of the most fantastic of fantastic creatures. I know
how bewitching she is, but I know too that she is kind, firm and noble.
Why do you look at me like that, Alexey Fyodorovitch? Perhaps you are
wondering at my words, perhaps you don't believe me? Agrafena
Alexandrovna, my angel!" she cried suddenly to some one, peeping into the
next room, "come in to us. This is a friend. This is Alyosha. He knows all
about our affairs. Show yourself to him."

"I've only been waiting behind the curtain for you to call me," said a
soft, one might even say sugary, feminine voice.

The portiere was raised and Grushenka herself, smiling and beaming, came
up to the table. A violent revulsion passed over Alyosha. He fixed his
eyes on her and could not take them off. Here she was, that awful woman,
the "beast," as Ivan had called her half an hour before. And yet one would
have thought the creature standing before him most simple and ordinary, a
good-natured, kind woman, handsome certainly, but so like other handsome
ordinary women! It is true she was very, very good-looking with that
Russian beauty so passionately loved by many men. She was a rather tall
woman, though a little shorter than Katerina Ivanovna, who was
exceptionally tall. She had a full figure, with soft, as it were,
noiseless, movements, softened to a peculiar over-sweetness, like her
voice. She moved, not like Katerina Ivanovna, with a vigorous, bold step,
but noiselessly. Her feet made absolutely no sound on the floor. She sank
softly into a low chair, softly rustling her sumptuous black silk dress,
and delicately nestling her milk-white neck and broad shoulders in a
costly cashmere shawl. She was twenty-two years old, and her face looked
exactly that age. She was very white in the face, with a pale pink tint on
her cheeks. The modeling of her face might be said to be too broad, and
the lower jaw was set a trifle forward. Her upper lip was thin, but the
slightly prominent lower lip was at least twice as full, and looked
pouting. But her magnificent, abundant dark brown hair, her sable-colored
eyebrows and charming gray-blue eyes with their long lashes would have
made the most indifferent person, meeting her casually in a crowd in the
street, stop at the sight of her face and remember it long after. What
struck Alyosha most in that face was its expression of childlike good
nature. There was a childlike look in her eyes, a look of childish
delight. She came up to the table, beaming with delight and seeming to
expect something with childish, impatient, and confiding curiosity. The
light in her eyes gladdened the soul--Alyosha felt that. There was
something else in her which he could not understand, or would not have
been able to define, and which yet perhaps unconsciously affected him. It
was that softness, that voluptuousness of her bodily movements, that
catlike noiselessness. Yet it was a vigorous, ample body. Under the shawl
could be seen full broad shoulders, a high, still quite girlish bosom. Her
figure suggested the lines of the Venus of Milo, though already in
somewhat exaggerated proportions. That could be divined. Connoisseurs of
Russian beauty could have foretold with certainty that this fresh, still
youthful beauty would lose its harmony by the age of thirty, would
"spread"; that the face would become puffy, and that wrinkles would very
soon appear upon her forehead and round the eyes; the complexion would
grow coarse and red perhaps--in fact, that it was the beauty of the moment,
the fleeting beauty which is so often met with in Russian women. Alyosha,
of course, did not think of this; but though he was fascinated, yet he
wondered with an unpleasant sensation, and as it were regretfully, why she
drawled in that way and could not speak naturally. She did so evidently
feeling there was a charm in the exaggerated, honeyed modulation of the
syllables. It was, of course, only a bad, underbred habit that showed bad
education and a false idea of good manners. And yet this intonation and
manner of speaking impressed Alyosha as almost incredibly incongruous with
the childishly simple and happy expression of her face, the soft, babyish
joy in her eyes. Katerina Ivanovna at once made her sit down in an arm-
chair facing Alyosha, and ecstatically kissed her several times on her
smiling lips. She seemed quite in love with her.

"This is the first time we've met, Alexey Fyodorovitch," she said
rapturously. "I wanted to know her, to see her. I wanted to go to her, but
I'd no sooner expressed the wish than she came to me. I knew we should
settle everything together--everything. My heart told me so--I was begged
not to take the step, but I foresaw it would be a way out of the
difficulty, and I was not mistaken. Grushenka has explained everything to
me, told me all she means to do. She flew here like an angel of goodness
and brought us peace and joy."

"You did not disdain me, sweet, excellent young lady," drawled Grushenka
in her sing-song voice, still with the same charming smile of delight.

"Don't dare to speak to me like that, you sorceress, you witch! Disdain
you! Here, I must kiss your lower lip once more. It looks as though it
were swollen, and now it will be more so, and more and more. Look how she
laughs, Alexey Fyodorovitch! It does one's heart good to see the angel."

Alyosha flushed, and faint, imperceptible shivers kept running down him.

"You make so much of me, dear young lady, and perhaps I am not at all
worthy of your kindness."

"Not worthy! She's not worthy of it!" Katerina Ivanovna cried again with
the same warmth. "You know, Alexey Fyodorovitch, we're fanciful, we're
self-willed, but proudest of the proud in our little heart. We're noble,
we're generous, Alexey Fyodorovitch, let me tell you. We have only been
unfortunate. We were too ready to make every sacrifice for an unworthy,
perhaps, or fickle man. There was one man--one, an officer too, we loved
him, we sacrificed everything to him. That was long ago, five years ago,
and he has forgotten us, he has married. Now he is a widower, he has
written, he is coming here, and, do you know, we've loved him, none but
him, all this time, and we've loved him all our life! He will come, and
Grushenka will be happy again. For the last five years she's been
wretched. But who can reproach her, who can boast of her favor? Only that
bedridden old merchant, but he is more like her father, her friend, her
protector. He found her then in despair, in agony, deserted by the man she
loved. She was ready to drown herself then, but the old merchant saved
her--saved her!"

"You defend me very kindly, dear young lady. You are in a great hurry
about everything," Grushenka drawled again.

"Defend you! Is it for me to defend you? Should I dare to defend you?
Grushenka, angel, give me your hand. Look at that charming soft little
hand, Alexey Fyodorovitch! Look at it! It has brought me happiness and has
lifted me up, and I'm going to kiss it, outside and inside, here, here,
here!"

And three times she kissed the certainly charming, though rather fat, hand
of Grushenka in a sort of rapture. She held out her hand with a charming
musical, nervous little laugh, watched the "sweet young lady," and
obviously liked having her hand kissed.

"Perhaps there's rather too much rapture," thought Alyosha. He blushed. He
felt a peculiar uneasiness at heart the whole time.

"You won't make me blush, dear young lady, kissing my hand like this
before Alexey Fyodorovitch."

"Do you think I meant to make you blush?" said Katerina Ivanovna, somewhat
surprised. "Ah, my dear, how little you understand me!"

"Yes, and you too perhaps quite misunderstand me, dear young lady. Maybe
I'm not so good as I seem to you. I've a bad heart; I will have my own
way. I fascinated poor Dmitri Fyodorovitch that day simply for fun."

"But now you'll save him. You've given me your word. You'll explain it all
to him. You'll break to him that you have long loved another man, who is
now offering you his hand."

"Oh, no! I didn't give you my word to do that. It was you kept talking
about that. I didn't give you my word."

"Then I didn't quite understand you," said Katerina Ivanovna slowly,
turning a little pale. "You promised--"

"Oh, no, angel lady, I've promised nothing," Grushenka interrupted softly
and evenly, still with the same gay and simple expression. "You see at
once, dear young lady, what a willful wretch I am compared with you. If I
want to do a thing I do it. I may have made you some promise just now. But
now again I'm thinking: I may take to Mitya again. I liked him very much
once--liked him for almost a whole hour. Now maybe I shall go and tell him
to stay with me from this day forward. You see, I'm so changeable."

"Just now you said--something quite different," Katerina Ivanovna whispered
faintly.

"Ah, just now! But, you know. I'm such a soft-hearted, silly creature.
Only think what he's gone through on my account! What if when I go home I
feel sorry for him? What then?"

"I never expected--"

"Ah, young lady, how good and generous you are compared with me! Now
perhaps you won't care for a silly creature like me, now you know my
character. Give me your sweet little hand, angelic lady," she said
tenderly, and with a sort of reverence took Katerina Ivanovna's hand.

"Here, dear young lady, I'll take your hand and kiss it as you did mine.
You kissed mine three times, but I ought to kiss yours three hundred times
to be even with you. Well, but let that pass. And then it shall be as God
wills. Perhaps I shall be your slave entirely and want to do your bidding
like a slave. Let it be as God wills, without any agreements and promises.
What a sweet hand--what a sweet hand you have! You sweet young lady, you
incredible beauty!"

She slowly raised the hands to her lips, with the strange object indeed of
"being even" with her in kisses.

Katerina Ivanovna did not take her hand away. She listened with timid hope
to the last words, though Grushenka's promise to do her bidding like a
slave was very strangely expressed. She looked intently into her eyes; she
still saw in those eyes the same simple-hearted, confiding expression, the
same bright gayety.

"She's perhaps too naive," thought Katerina Ivanovna, with a gleam of
hope.

Grushenka meanwhile seemed enthusiastic over the "sweet hand." She raised
it deliberately to her lips. But she held it for two or three minutes near
her lips, as though reconsidering something.

"Do you know, angel lady," she suddenly drawled in an even more soft and
sugary voice, "do you know, after all, I think I won't kiss your hand?"
And she laughed a little merry laugh.

"As you please. What's the matter with you?" said Katerina Ivanovna,
starting suddenly.

"So that you may be left to remember that you kissed my hand, but I didn't
kiss yours."

There was a sudden gleam in her eyes. She looked with awful intentness at
Katerina Ivanovna.

"Insolent creature!" cried Katerina Ivanovna, as though suddenly grasping
something. She flushed all over and leapt up from her seat.

Grushenka too got up, but without haste.

"So I shall tell Mitya how you kissed my hand, but I didn't kiss yours at
all. And how he will laugh!"

"Vile slut! Go away!"

"Ah, for shame, young lady! Ah, for shame! That's unbecoming for you, dear
young lady, a word like that."

"Go away! You're a creature for sale!" screamed Katerina Ivanovna. Every
feature was working in her utterly distorted face.

"For sale indeed! You used to visit gentlemen in the dusk for money once;
you brought your beauty for sale. You see, I know."

Katerina Ivanovna shrieked, and would have rushed at her, but Alyosha held
her with all his strength.

"Not a step, not a word! Don't speak, don't answer her. She'll go
away--she'll go at once."

At that instant Katerina Ivanovna's two aunts ran in at her cry, and with
them a maid-servant. All hurried to her.

"I will go away," said Grushenka, taking up her mantle from the sofa.
"Alyosha, darling, see me home!"

"Go away--go away, make haste!" cried Alyosha, clasping his hands
imploringly.

"Dear little Alyosha, see me home! I've got a pretty little story to tell
you on the way. I got up this scene for your benefit, Alyosha. See me
home, dear, you'll be glad of it afterwards."

Alyosha turned away, wringing his hands. Grushenka ran out of the house,
laughing musically.

Katerina Ivanovna went into a fit of hysterics. She sobbed, and was shaken
with convulsions. Every one fussed round her.

"I warned you," said the elder of her aunts. "I tried to prevent your
doing this. You're too impulsive. How could you do such a thing? You don't
know these creatures, and they say she's worse than any of them. You are
too self-willed."

"She's a tigress!" yelled Katerina Ivanovna. "Why did you hold me, Alexey
Fyodorovitch? I'd have beaten her--beaten her!"

She could not control herself before Alyosha; perhaps she did not care to,
indeed.

"She ought to be flogged in public on a scaffold!"

Alyosha withdrew towards the door.

"But, my God!" cried Katerina Ivanovna, clasping her hands. "He! He! He
could be so dishonorable, so inhuman! Why, he told that creature what
happened on that fatal, accursed day! 'You brought your beauty for sale,
dear young lady.' She knows it! Your brother's a scoundrel, Alexey
Fyodorovitch."

Alyosha wanted to say something, but he couldn't find a word. His heart
ached.

"Go away, Alexey Fyodorovitch! It's shameful, it's awful for me! To-
morrow, I beg you on my knees, come to-morrow. Don't condemn me. Forgive
me. I don't know what I shall do with myself now!"

Alyosha walked out into the street reeling. He could have wept as she did.
Suddenly he was overtaken by the maid.

"The young lady forgot to give you this letter from Madame Hohlakov; it's
been left with us since dinner-time."

Alyosha took the little pink envelope mechanically and put it, almost
unconsciously, into his pocket.

Chapter XI. Another Reputation Ruined

It was not much more than three-quarters of a mile from the town to the
monastery. Alyosha walked quickly along the road, at that hour deserted.
It was almost night, and too dark to see anything clearly at thirty paces
ahead. There were cross-roads half-way. A figure came into sight under a
solitary willow at the cross-roads. As soon as Alyosha reached the cross-
roads the figure moved out and rushed at him, shouting savagely:

"Your money or your life!"

"So it's you, Mitya," cried Alyosha, in surprise, violently startled
however.

"Ha ha ha! You didn't expect me? I wondered where to wait for you. By her
house? There are three ways from it, and I might have missed you. At last
I thought of waiting here, for you had to pass here, there's no other way
to the monastery. Come, tell me the truth. Crush me like a beetle. But
what's the matter?"

"Nothing, brother--it's the fright you gave me. Oh, Dmitri! Father's blood
just now." (Alyosha began to cry, he had been on the verge of tears for a
long time, and now something seemed to snap in his soul.) "You almost
killed him--cursed him--and now--here--you're making jokes--'Your money or your
life!' "

"Well, what of that? It's not seemly--is that it? Not suitable in my
position?"

"No--I only--"

"Stay. Look at the night. You see what a dark night, what clouds, what a
wind has risen. I hid here under the willow waiting for you. And as God's
above, I suddenly thought, why go on in misery any longer, what is there
to wait for? Here I have a willow, a handkerchief, a shirt, I can twist
them into a rope in a minute, and braces besides, and why go on burdening
the earth, dishonoring it with my vile presence? And then I heard you
coming--Heavens, it was as though something flew down to me suddenly. So
there is a man, then, whom I love. Here he is, that man, my dear little
brother, whom I love more than any one in the world, the only one I love
in the world. And I loved you so much, so much at that moment that I
thought, 'I'll fall on his neck at once.' Then a stupid idea struck me, to
have a joke with you and scare you. I shouted, like a fool, 'Your money!'
Forgive my foolery--it was only nonsense, and there's nothing unseemly in
my soul.... Damn it all, tell me what's happened. What did she say? Strike
me, crush me, don't spare me! Was she furious?"

"No, not that.... There was nothing like that, Mitya. There--I found them
both there."

"Both? Whom?"

"Grushenka at Katerina Ivanovna's."

Dmitri was struck dumb.

"Impossible!" he cried. "You're raving! Grushenka with her?"

Alyosha described all that had happened from the moment he went in to
Katerina Ivanovna's. He was ten minutes telling his story. He can't be
said to have told it fluently and consecutively, but he seemed to make it
clear, not omitting any word or action of significance, and vividly
describing, often in one word, his own sensations. Dmitri listened in
silence, gazing at him with a terrible fixed stare, but it was clear to
Alyosha that he understood it all, and had grasped every point. But as the
story went on, his face became not merely gloomy, but menacing. He
scowled, he clenched his teeth, and his fixed stare became still more
rigid, more concentrated, more terrible, when suddenly, with incredible
rapidity, his wrathful, savage face changed, his tightly compressed lips
parted, and Dmitri Fyodorovitch broke into uncontrolled, spontaneous
laughter. He literally shook with laughter. For a long time he could not
speak.

"So she wouldn't kiss her hand! So she didn't kiss it; so she ran away!"
he kept exclaiming with hysterical delight; insolent delight it might have
been called, if it had not been so spontaneous. "So the other one called
her tigress! And a tigress she is! So she ought to be flogged on a
scaffold? Yes, yes, so she ought. That's just what I think; she ought to
have been long ago. It's like this, brother, let her be punished, but I
must get better first. I understand the queen of impudence. That's her all
over! You saw her all over in that hand-kissing, the she-devil! She's
magnificent in her own line! So she ran home? I'll go--ah--I'll run to her!
Alyosha, don't blame me, I agree that hanging is too good for her."

"But Katerina Ivanovna!" exclaimed Alyosha sorrowfully.

"I see her, too! I see right through her, as I've never done before! It's
a regular discovery of the four continents of the world, that is, of the
five! What a thing to do! That's just like Katya, who was not afraid to
face a coarse, unmannerly officer and risk a deadly insult on a generous
impulse to save her father! But the pride, the recklessness, the defiance
of fate, the unbounded defiance! You say that aunt tried to stop her? That
aunt, you know, is overbearing, herself. She's the sister of the general's
widow in Moscow, and even more stuck-up than she. But her husband was
caught stealing government money. He lost everything, his estate and all,
and the proud wife had to lower her colors, and hasn't raised them since.
So she tried to prevent Katya, but she wouldn't listen to her! She thinks
she can overcome everything, that everything will give way to her. She
thought she could bewitch Grushenka if she liked, and she believed it
herself: she plays a part to herself, and whose fault is it? Do you think
she kissed Grushenka's hand first, on purpose, with a motive? No, she
really was fascinated by Grushenka, that's to say, not by Grushenka, but
by her own dream, her own delusion--because it was _her_ dream, _her_
delusion! Alyosha, darling, how did you escape from them, those women? Did
you pick up your cassock and run? Ha ha ha!"

"Brother, you don't seem to have noticed how you've insulted Katerina
Ivanovna by telling Grushenka about that day. And she flung it in her face
just now that she had gone to gentlemen in secret to sell her beauty!
Brother, what could be worse than that insult?"

What worried Alyosha more than anything was that, incredible as it seemed,
his brother appeared pleased at Katerina Ivanovna's humiliation.

"Bah!" Dmitri frowned fiercely, and struck his forehead with his hand. He
only now realized it, though Alyosha had just told him of the insult, and
Katerina Ivanovna's cry: "Your brother is a scoundrel!"

"Yes, perhaps, I really did tell Grushenka about that 'fatal day,' as
Katya calls it. Yes, I did tell her, I remember! It was that time at
Mokroe. I was drunk, the gypsies were singing.... But I was sobbing. I was
sobbing then, kneeling and praying to Katya's image, and Grushenka
understood it. She understood it all then. I remember, she cried
herself.... Damn it all! But it's bound to be so now.... Then she cried,
but now 'the dagger in the heart'! That's how women are."

He looked down and sank into thought.

"Yes, I am a scoundrel, a thorough scoundrel!" he said suddenly, in a
gloomy voice. "It doesn't matter whether I cried or not, I'm a scoundrel!
Tell her I accept the name, if that's any comfort. Come, that's enough.
Good-by. It's no use talking! It's not amusing. You go your way and I
mine. And I don't want to see you again except as a last resource. Good-
by, Alexey!"

He warmly pressed Alyosha's hand, and still looking down, without raising
his head, as though tearing himself away, turned rapidly towards the town.

Alyosha looked after him, unable to believe he would go away so abruptly.

"Stay, Alexey, one more confession to you alone!" cried Dmitri, suddenly
turning back. "Look at me. Look at me well. You see here, here--there's
terrible disgrace in store for me." (As he said "here," Dmitri struck his
chest with his fist with a strange air, as though the dishonor lay
precisely on his chest, in some spot, in a pocket, perhaps, or hanging
round his neck.) "You know me now, a scoundrel, an avowed scoundrel, but
let me tell you that I've never done anything before and never shall
again, anything that can compare in baseness with the dishonor which I
bear now at this very minute on my breast, here, here, which will come to
pass, though I'm perfectly free to stop it. I can stop it or carry it
through, note that. Well, let me tell you, I shall carry it through. I
shan't stop it. I told you everything just now, but I didn't tell you
this, because even I had not brass enough for it. I can still pull up; if
I do, I can give back the full half of my lost honor to-morrow. But I
shan't pull up. I shall carry out my base plan, and you can bear witness
that I told you so beforehand. Darkness and destruction! No need to
explain. You'll find out in due time. The filthy back-alley and the she-
devil. Good-by. Don't pray for me, I'm not worth it. And there's no need,
no need at all.... I don't need it! Away!"

And he suddenly retreated, this time finally. Alyosha went towards the
monastery.

"What? I shall never see him again! What is he saying?" he wondered
wildly. "Why, I shall certainly see him to-morrow. I shall look him up. I
shall make a point of it. What does he mean?"

                  -------------------------------------

He went round the monastery, and crossed the pine-wood to the hermitage.
The door was opened to him, though no one was admitted at that hour. There
was a tremor in his heart as he went into Father Zossima's cell.

"Why, why, had he gone forth? Why had he sent him into the world? Here was
peace. Here was holiness. But there was confusion, there was darkness in
which one lost one's way and went astray at once...."

In the cell he found the novice Porfiry and Father Paissy, who came every
hour to inquire after Father Zossima. Alyosha learnt with alarm that he
was getting worse and worse. Even his usual discourse with the brothers
could not take place that day. As a rule every evening after service the
monks flocked into Father Zossima's cell, and all confessed aloud their
sins of the day, their sinful thoughts and temptations; even their
disputes, if there had been any. Some confessed kneeling. The elder
absolved, reconciled, exhorted, imposed penance, blessed, and dismissed
them. It was against this general "confession" that the opponents of
"elders" protested, maintaining that it was a profanation of the sacrament
of confession, almost a sacrilege, though this was quite a different
thing. They even represented to the diocesan authorities that such
confessions attained no good object, but actually to a large extent led to
sin and temptation. Many of the brothers disliked going to the elder, and
went against their own will because every one went, and for fear they
should be accused of pride and rebellious ideas. People said that some of
the monks agreed beforehand, saying, "I'll confess I lost my temper with
you this morning, and you confirm it," simply in order to have something
to say. Alyosha knew that this actually happened sometimes. He knew, too,
that there were among the monks some who deeply resented the fact that
letters from relations were habitually taken to the elder, to be opened
and read by him before those to whom they were addressed.

It was assumed, of course, that all this was done freely, and in good
faith, by way of voluntary submission and salutary guidance. But, in fact,
there was sometimes no little insincerity, and much that was false and
strained in this practice. Yet the older and more experienced of the monks
adhered to their opinion, arguing that "for those who have come within
these walls sincerely seeking salvation, such obedience and sacrifice will
certainly be salutary and of great benefit; those, on the other hand, who
find it irksome, and repine, are no true monks, and have made a mistake in
entering the monastery--their proper place is in the world. Even in the
temple one cannot be safe from sin and the devil. So it was no good taking
it too much into account."

"He is weaker, a drowsiness has come over him," Father Paissy whispered to
Alyosha, as he blessed him. "It's difficult to rouse him. And he must not
be roused. He waked up for five minutes, sent his blessing to the
brothers, and begged their prayers for him at night. He intends to take
the sacrament again in the morning. He remembered you, Alexey. He asked
whether you had gone away, and was told that you were in the town. 'I
blessed him for that work,' he said, 'his place is there, not here, for
awhile.' Those were his words about you. He remembered you lovingly, with
anxiety; do you understand how he honored you? But how is it that he has
decided that you shall spend some time in the world? He must have foreseen
something in your destiny! Understand, Alexey, that if you return to the
world, it must be to do the duty laid upon you by your elder, and not for
frivolous vanity and worldly pleasures."

Father Paissy went out. Alyosha had no doubt that Father Zossima was
dying, though he might live another day or two. Alyosha firmly and
ardently resolved that in spite of his promises to his father, the
Hohlakovs, and Katerina Ivanovna, he would not leave the monastery next
day, but would remain with his elder to the end. His heart glowed with
love, and he reproached himself bitterly for having been able for one
instant to forget him whom he had left in the monastery on his deathbed,
and whom he honored above every one in the world. He went into Father
Zossima's bedroom, knelt down, and bowed to the ground before the elder,
who slept quietly without stirring, with regular, hardly audible breathing
and a peaceful face.

Alyosha returned to the other room, where Father Zossima had received his
guests in the morning. Taking off his boots, he lay down on the hard,
narrow, leathern sofa, which he had long used as a bed, bringing nothing
but a pillow. The mattress, about which his father had shouted to him that
morning, he had long forgotten to lie on. He took off his cassock, which
he used as a covering. But before going to bed, he fell on his knees and
prayed a long time. In his fervent prayer he did not beseech God to
lighten his darkness but only thirsted for the joyous emotion, which
always visited his soul after the praise and adoration, of which his
evening prayer usually consisted. That joy always brought him light
untroubled sleep. As he was praying, he suddenly felt in his pocket the
little pink note the servant had handed him as he left Katerina
Ivanovna's. He was disturbed, but finished his prayer. Then, after some
hesitation, he opened the envelope. In it was a letter to him, signed by
Lise, the young daughter of Madame Hohlakov, who had laughed at him before
the elder in the morning.

"Alexey Fyodorovitch," she wrote, "I am writing to you without any one's
knowledge, even mamma's, and I know how wrong it is. But I cannot live
without telling you the feeling that has sprung up in my heart, and this
no one but us two must know for a time. But how am I to say what I want so
much to tell you? Paper, they say, does not blush, but I assure you it's
not true and that it's blushing just as I am now, all over. Dear Alyosha,
I love you, I've loved you from my childhood, since our Moscow days, when
you were very different from what you are now, and I shall love you all my
life. My heart has chosen you, to unite our lives, and pass them together
till our old age. Of course, on condition that you will leave the
monastery. As for our age we will wait for the time fixed by the law. By
that time I shall certainly be quite strong, I shall be walking and
dancing. There can be no doubt of that.

"You see how I've thought of everything. There's only one thing I can't
imagine: what you'll think of me when you read this. I'm always laughing
and being naughty. I made you angry this morning, but I assure you before
I took up my pen, I prayed before the Image of the Mother of God, and now
I'm praying, and almost crying.

"My secret is in your hands. When you come to-morrow, I don't know how I
shall look at you. Ah, Alexey Fyodorovitch, what if I can't restrain
myself like a silly and laugh when I look at you as I did to-day. You'll
think I'm a nasty girl making fun of you, and you won't believe my letter.
And so I beg you, dear one, if you've any pity for me, when you come to-
morrow, don't look me straight in the face, for if I meet your eyes, it
will be sure to make me laugh, especially as you'll be in that long gown.
I feel cold all over when I think of it, so when you come, don't look at
me at all for a time, look at mamma or at the window....

"Here I've written you a love-letter. Oh, dear, what have I done? Alyosha,
don't despise me, and if I've done something very horrid and wounded you,
forgive me. Now the secret of my reputation, ruined perhaps for ever, is
in your hands.

"I shall certainly cry to-day. Good-by till our meeting, our _awful_
meeting.--LISE.

"P.S.--Alyosha! You must, must, must come!--LISE."

Alyosha read the note in amazement, read it through twice, thought a
little, and suddenly laughed a soft, sweet laugh. He started. That laugh
seemed to him sinful. But a minute later he laughed again just as softly
and happily. He slowly replaced the note in the envelope, crossed himself
and lay down. The agitation in his heart passed at once. "God, have mercy
upon all of them, have all these unhappy and turbulent souls in Thy
keeping, and set them in the right path. All ways are Thine. Save them
according to Thy wisdom. Thou art love. Thou wilt send joy to all!"
Alyosha murmured, crossing himself, and falling into peaceful sleep.

Book Three begins with an introduction to Fyodor's servants, Grigory and Marfa. Grigory has been Fyodor's servant for years. He is "stubborn ... honest ... incorruptible." For instance, his loyalty to Fyodor is inextinguishable. When the serfs were emancipated in 1861, Grigory was free to do as he pleased. His wife Marfa asked to leave Fyodor, but Grigory would not hear of it. He decided that they would not leave old Karamazov. Years ago, Grigory and Marfa had a child. The poor boy had six fingers and died after only two weeks, devastating his parents. While Grigory was burying the child, he heard a baby crying. Puzzled and thinking he was hallucinating, Grigory followed the sound. He found a dying woman lying on the ground. Next to the woman he saw a baby boy. The woman was known as "Stinking Lizaveta," the town idiot. She was abnormally short, unable to speak, and the daughter of a violent, drunken man. Everyone liked her; she was like an orphan whom the town collectively cared for. The citizens in the town would give her food and clothes, and when they realized that she was pregnant, they were furious. Rumors flew that the only person depraved enough to take advantage of one so innocent and helpless was Fyodor Karamazov. After Grigory and Marfa found the baby, Lizaveta died. They adopted the little boy and Fyodor named it Smerdyakov, "the stinking one." Alyosha leaves the monastery and is worried about his meeting with Katerina. Though he believes that she has noble intentions toward Dmitri, Alyosha cannot put his finger on the vague sense of dread he feels about the meeting. Coincidentally, Alyosha runs into Dmitri on the way to see Katerina, and Dmitri wants to talk. He has been drinking. He wants to tell Alyosha all his troubles and thinks that only Alyosha will understand. Dmitri proceeds to confess to Alyosha, intermittently quoting Schiller's Hymn to Joy. He tells Alyosha his history of seducing women, spending money with abandon, and generally acting with "insect sensualism." Then he tells Alyosha the story of how he met Katerina. The daughter of a commanding officer of the camp, Katerina was a haughty and gorgeous girl who had always ignored Dmitri's advances. One day, Dmitri found out that the commanding officer had lent 4,500 rubles to a man who would not pay him back. Dmitri told Katerina's older sister that the military would come asking for the money, and if her father did not want to be court-martialed or jailed, he should send Katerina to visit Dmitri's room. Dmitri planned on having his way with the girl, but when Katerina visited him, Dmitri did not try to sleep with her or do anything wayward. Instead, he gave her the money with no strings attached. He found her "noble and generous" while he was just a "bedbug." He gave her the money with reverence, and she left without another word. Later, Katerina's father dies. When she comes into a large inheritance from a relative, she visits Dmitri again, deeply grateful for his generosity toward her father. She offers him the money he had lent her father and offers him her hand in marriage. He accepts. When Dmitri returns to Fyodor's town, however, he becomes obsessed with a girl named Grushenka. Katerina remains faithful to him even though she has heard rumors of his relationship with Grushenka. She gives him 3,000 rubles and asks him to give the money to her half-sister, but he spends it on a bacchanal with Grushenka instead. Dmitri's financial and moral indebtedness to Katerina makes him unable to bear Katerina's love, so he asks Alyosha to break off his engagement with Katerina. Then he tells Alyosha he wants him to go to Fyodor and ask for 3,000 rubles for him. He knows that Fyodor has an envelope with 3,000 rubles for Grushenka, but he feels that Fyodor is morally indebted to him for his ill treatment of Dmitri's mother. Dmitri wants to repay Katerina and never ask for money again. We now meet Grigory's and Marfa's adopted son Smerdyakov. He has grown up to be an angry, epileptic cook of Fyodor, and he has a penchant for debate and intellectual discussion. He is talking to Fyodor and his foster father Grigory about his views about God. He says that it is hardly a sin to renounce God, for man can always repent and come back to God if he feels the urge. After he and Grigory leave, the Karamazovs continue to talk about their views of God. Ivan says that God does not exist--and neither does immortality. Alyosha disagrees. Fyodor, who has been sitting through this lofty conversation for too long, decides to talk about "wenches." When his tirade turns on Alyosha's mother, however, Alyosha faints and has a seizure. Ivan is angry at his father for hurting his brother and verbally attacking his mother. Dmitri runs into the room at this instant looking for Grushenka, who is not to be found. When Fyodor begins chastising Dmitri for stealing money from him, Dmitri, already in a fit of rage, attacks the old man and kicks him in the temple. As he leaves, he threatens his father once more. As Ivan and Alyosha are looking after their wounded father, Ivan's hostility toward his brother decreases. Alyosha visits Katerina, who thinks that Dmitri will get over Grushenka. To Alyosha's surprise, Grushenka comes out from behind a curtain; she has been there all along. Grushenka admits that she is going back to a former lover, and Katerina is ecstatic at the news. She compliments Grushenka profusely, but Grushenka does not return her affection. In fact, she says that she may not reunite with her old lover and may pursue Dmitri instead. Katerina becomes furious and screams at Grushenka as she leaves. As Alyosha is returning from Katerina's, he receives a letter from Lise. He sees Dmitri again, and the two talk about Alyosha's visit with Katerina. Dmitri becomes sad about how cowardly he has been in his relationships toward the two women. Alyosha returns to the monastery to find that Father Zossima's health is declining, and that Zossima will not live for much longer. Alyosha resolves to stay by the side of the man who has acted more like a father to him than Fyodor has. He reads the letter from Lise, which says that she is in love with him and that she wants to marry him one day. She apologizes for her earlier jokes at his expense, and she asks him to visit her. Exhausted from his day, Alyosha falls into a deep sleep.

Grigory and Marfa are less complex than the characters who have already been established. They do not have the verve of Dmitri or Fyodor, the high-minded intellectualism of Ivan, or the depth of purpose of Alyosha or Father Zossima. They lead simple lives with a singular purpose, staying faithful to their master.  They are good, dependable people. They care for all of Fyodor's children, and when their desire for their own child is thwarted by fate, they are rewarded with Lizaveta's orphan.  They both are very caring and compassionate. Grigory acts as a third father figure in the novel. In addition to the biological paternity of Fyodor and the spiritual guidance of Father Zossima, Grigory acts as a father to the Karamazov boys and Smerdyakov in purely logistical ways. He spends time with them, feeds them, and cares for them. It is unclear whose method of paternity has the largest effect on a boy's growth, or if they all have an equal effect. Interestingly, Smerdyakov, the one boy Grigory and Marfa raise as their own, is resentful and bitter. Their compassion does not turn him into a loving person. Perhaps it is Fyodor's influence that makes him like he is. Alyosha, on the other hand, seems unaffected by his biological lineage.  This suggests that a person is responsible for his own personality. His reactions to the influences in his life depend on his own strengths, weaknesses, and proclivities. This book also sheds more light on Dmitri's character. He is quite likeable despite his foibles, since he is clearly well-intentioned but deeply fallible. His actions with the captain and Katerina are very complicated. He shows a manipulative streak, uncovering a depravity that is similar to Fyodor's. Then he undergoes a complete change, acting nobly toward Katerina, feeling guilty about his former actions. But instead of learning from his mistakes, Dmitri does not continue to treat Katerina with respect. He spends her money and takes up with another woman after they get engaged. He becomes guilty about this, too, and feels that repaying Katerina is the only honorable course of action. Dmitri is perpetually caught between his desire to do good and his appetite for gratification. He seems unable to break the cycle of guilt and longing for redemption.  He is too cowardly to ask his father for money again or to break off his engagement with Katerina in person. Nevertheless, he was re-promoted during his time in the army for "gallantry." Dmitri is full of contradictions. He embodies many of the arguments in the novel, showing how one man can contain multitudes. Grushenka is very much what the reader expects her to be, capricious and mischievous. Katerina is less transparent. It is unclear if Katerina loves Dmitri or if she is obsessed by the idea of being a martyr. Dmitri has shunned her, but she remains faithful to him. She does not even expect his love in return, though. She feels relatively complacent about the idea that Dmitri may never return her love. Perhaps she relishes suffering. Indeed, yearning for suffering is a motif in the novel. Dostoevsky himself wrote most of his important works after spending years of hard labor in Siberia. He felt that suffering changed him, and many of his characters are either changed by their suffering or desire suffering.  The value of this suffering is not based on the justice done, however. Katerina does not want to suffer because she deserves retribution for some sin. Instead, she wants to suffer for suffering's sake. Katerina is not the only one who yearns for pain. Later in the novel, Dmitri and Lise express similar feelings. Aside from this, Katerina seems honorable. She has quite a temper, but she seems to be motivated mostly by love and the desire to do right. Alyosha continues to get along well with his brother Dmitri, who clearly returns his affection. Alyosha has earned Dmitri's trust, and Alyosha does what he can to help him out. It seems that everyone needs Alyosha's help, and Alyosha is very willing to offer his services. Ivan, however, has not warmed up to Alyosha yet. They represent two theological extremes. Simply put, Alyosha is a believer while Ivan is not. They very plainly disagree about faith, but not hostilely. They are civil as they discuss immortality and the existence of God. Since Alyosha has been proving time and again that he is thoughtful, helpful, and loving, Ivan is taking the position of a villain by disagreeing with his brother. The only way Ivan has revealed his character thus far, however, has been through his opinions about intellectual matters; his emotions and motivations are still veiled. It is curious that he is becoming a foil to Alyosha given that they both have the same mother. The only two characters who have the same parents have the widest disparity in their opinions about God. Ivan does respect Alyosha, though at first he was suspicious that Alyosha's opinions were the opinions of a thoughtless religious fanatic. The brothers have learned to understand each other, and they all are starting to be able to tolerate each other. The same cannot be said for Fyodor's and Dmitri's relationship. As expected, the first conversation they had since the meeting with Father Zossima turned violent. Their situation has worsened, and a resolution for them is nowhere in sight.