Question: I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

Response: Hello,This question describes a very typical setup of what is called the  Binge, Repent, Repeat cycle. This means that typically after you binge, you experience emotions as you described "shame and disappointment" and then because of these emotions you "repent" (i.e. vow to never binge again, promise to "do better," go to the gym, etc.) and then ultimately end up bingeing again. There are many coping mechanisms for binge eating and one of the best is actually attempting to NORMALIZE eating. Meaning you need to attempt to eat normally, eating appropriately portioned meals 3 times a day, with snacks in between. IF you binge, then it may be helpful to remind yourself that when you attempt to compensate for your bingeing behaviors, and you end up feeling restricted from over exercising or undereating, then this actually leads to a binge again. Thus, reverting you back to the cycle. If you binge, it will be helpful to try and get back on a normal schedule of eating instead of trying to compensate for the binge. Although it may feel counterproductive, getting back on a normal eating schedule will prevent you from entering into the restrictive cycle. It can also be helpful to remind yourself that the binge has already occurred, it is in the past and the goal is to move forward without focusing on the past. Focus on what you can do differently next time. What emotions or situations led up to the binge? What can you to do prevent or change the circumstances that led to the binge, or the way that you handled the situation? Lastly, if you're struggling with "normalizing" eating, it can be helpful to work with a professional that can provide counseling and coaching to help you learn how to eating normally, mindfully and without feeling the guilt and other harmful emotions sometimes associated with disordered eating. I would be more than happy to assist you if you ever have any questions or want to reach out to somebody. You can contact me via my website: http://www.maddenwellnessky.com/


Question: My parents seem okay with other sexualities, but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about bisexuality, they say things like they'll do anything or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am bisexual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them.

Response: Coming out to family members can cause a lot of anxiety. However,  although I cannot promise what their reaction will be, the benefit is that you will no longer have to hide who you are. Perhaps researching or getting information on bisexuality can help your family understand what it truly is to be bisexual. Many times,  people are just not educated on certain things.


Question: I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it's so vivid, it's like it's happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age.

Response: Unfortunately, ptsd is not something that can be cured.  Ptsd can be managed through therapy.  Mindfulness can assist in redirecting thoughts and gaining further control over paranoia. Therapy is confidential and there are different ways you can obtain treatment.  Mental health professional have availability to provide therapy online,  on the phone or in person.


Question: I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it's so vivid, it's like it's happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age.

Response: Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a very complex issue.  It is the root cause of many other issues including depression, anxiety and anger to name a few.  Re-experiencing the event is a telltale symptom of PTSD.  One of the best things you can do for yourself is to find someone who specializes in this area to help you work through the symptoms associated with this disorder as well as directly addressing the event/events that initially caused the symptoms.  There are various treatment methods available to helping professionals that are successful in treating this disorder.  In the meantime there is a book called "The Body Keeps the Score", it is informative and may be helpful for you on your journey.  It is my hope that you are not dealing with this alone.   Best wishes!


Question: I get so much anxiety, and I Don't know why. I feel like I can't do anything by myself because I'm scared of the outcomes.

Response: The are two ways that such anxiety can be dealt with. One is an attempt to replace maladaptive thinking by examining the distorted thinking and resetting the fight-or-flight response with more reasonable, accurate ones. As an example "I'm scared of spiders." But if you change the thinking from being scared to "I'm bigger than the spider," it allows the mind to reach a calmer state of mind. Mindfulness-based therapy can also help  focus on the bodily sensations that arise when you feel anxious. Instead of avoiding or withdrawing from these feelings, remain present and fully experience the symptoms of anxiety. Instead of avoiding distressing thoughts, open up to them in an effort to realize and acknowledge that they are not literally true.Although it may seem counter-intuitive, fully realizing the experience of anxiety enables the release of over identification with negative thoughts. You can practice responding to disruptive thoughts, and letting these thoughts go.By remaining present in the body, you'll learn that the anxiety being experienced is merely a reaction to perceived threats. By positively responding to threatening events instead of being reactive you can overcome an erroneous fight-or-flight response.


Question: My parents seem okay with other sexualities, but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about bisexuality, they say things like they'll do anything or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am bisexual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them.

Response: Perhaps you are not ready to come out to your parents.  Often times our readiness is not dependent on what others' will say or how they react. But more so dependent on how emotionally prepared we are to deal with others' reactions.  It may be beneficial for you to play out each possible scenario and conclusion (eg. your parents being supportive vs. your parents being disappointed and so on). How are you prepared to deal with the outcome?  You may also seek help through counselors, support groups and/or individuals you know that have dealt with similar situations to help you prepare to discuss this with your parents.  All the best!


Question: I started dating my fiancee two years ago. My first cousin is married to my fiancees sister. There has always been a communication issue between my uncle and aunt and my cousin and his wife. My uncle goes to my mom instead of talking to my cousin, and it upsets my mom.

Response: Based on the information provided, this is an issue with boundaries.   Sounds like your uncle goes to your mom and possibly your mother takes the issues to you.  I do not like to assume so I will direct you to information regarding families dealing with enmeshment and triangulation.  Enmeshment is the concept of diffused boundaries in families and other personal relationships.  Triangulation is two individuals relaying information to a third party what cannot be said directly to each other.  From someone who has dealt with both these issues on a personal level, being informed about family dynamics is beneficial and can help you develop healthy boundaries for yourself within your family structure.  You may need assistance with developing healthy boundaries.  Although it is possible, it is not easy to change the way you have been operating for any extended amount of time.  Hope this help!


Question: I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

Response: The fact that you are aware of the issue and what causes it is a step in the right direction.  You can absolutely break the cycle but it takes a lot of effort.  Much like growing a physical muscle, developing coping mechanisms must be practiced (exercised) in order to gain strength.  Find healthy activities that you like to do that can help you deal with stress.  It appears that you are already going to the gym which is awesome; you want this to be a healthy experience not one done out of guilt.  Is it possible for you to incorporate food items that are healthy for you? Remember any changes you make must be practiced and developed over time.  You should seek professional help to assist you with getting to the root cause of your emotional connection to food. Normally these issues date back to childhood experiences however this is a generalization and I have little information to go on.  Above all else BE KIND TO YOURSELF! Shame is counterproductive. If you want something to grow you give it love and attention. Well wishes!!!!!!


Question: I feel so irritated and frustrated because of it. I get so angry to the point that I feel like I'm going to explode. I feel pathetic, stupid, and worthless. I just can't take this anymore.

Response: Yeah I get the same problem... Look I'm not a professional but I've heard a few things. a powernap can help. just a half hour of sleep can clear your mind and let you refocus. Also, brain activity increases with physical exertion. Just walk around for a minute and get your brain working and that'll help you reach the task at hand. Taking breaks it totally okay. Try to have something to do in between that you enjoy.


Question: I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am.

Response: I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.


Question: I'm a Christian teenage girl, and I have lost my virginity. My boyfriend is a Christian teenager too, but things just got out of hand between us in a sexual manner. I planned to abstain from sex but I guess I wasn't clear about this because I was also tempted and led him on. We continued to have sex. Does it mean that he isn't the one God planned for me? We're so young, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming of a potential future together. I really do feel like he is in my life for an important reason. I'm incredibly happy for I was able to escape from several abusive relationships because of him. I love him very much.

Response: I'm not a super religious person... But I can't imagine that if you love him that much and you want him that much, that he wouldn't be the one for you because of something small like that. Sex is an act of love and commitment. If you feel that you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, want to marry them, then why should you have to wait until marriage? If you truly feel that this is the person you want to be with, then why would you need to wait until marriage if you're just showing commitment to each other?


Question:
Sometimes I can't stop thinking about life after death. I was raised in a religion that teaches that we will live on forever either in hell or in heaven.
When I think of living forever (even if it is in heaven which should be good), I feel overwhelmed. I don't like the thought of living forever and ever and ever. Sometimes I just can't get the thought out of my mind and the thoughts lead to panic and anxiety.
Am I crazy? I don't think these thoughts are normal.

Response: You need to find an outlet. Someone to talk to. Your dad or someone who loves your mother as well is someone ideal. But anyone could help. Just look to someone for help. If you can't find anyone who you think will listen, talk to your mom. It can help greatly just to get the words out. Tell her how you feel about her passing, but then also about everything else. Talk to her about your day. Tell her about happy things. I don't know if you're a religious person, or where you believe she is now, but no matter what you can talk to her.


Question: I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

Response: I believe that for results that last, the best approach is to understand why someone feels like doing a certain behavior."Coping mechanisms" are superficial instruction that people usually give up on when feeling extreme pressure from the problem behaviors.Take the slower road of understanding why you would deprive yourself of enjoying food.Also, if you consider the binging as a mistake of some kind, reflect on why doing something less than ideal, deserves harsh criticism and not tolerance and acceptance that people mess up occasionally.I'm glad you know that there are better ways of treating yourself.  This is a valuable awareness of realizing you deserve patience and respect, not humiliation and severe criticism when you are lost as to best ways of self-care.


Question: I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it's so vivid, it's like it's happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age.

Response: What is the reason you wouldn't want your parents to know you are trying to find your way through PTSD?Would they believe that you've been traumatized?And, do you feel that your parents had a hand in creating your trauma?There is no need to tell your parents you have PTSD unless you feel that doing so will help you.   Maybe you intuitively realize that they don't want to understand or know about this.How did you come to the conclusion that you have PTSD?If you are working with a therapist, and a minor, then  the laws of your State dictate what information your parents can ask your therapist about you.If you are a grown person and working with a therapist,  you have complete legally protected privacy of what you talk about with your therapist.In any case, a good starting point is to know exactly your own reason for wishing to keep your psychological situation hidden from your parents.


Question: Weve been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he does not love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Response: Try having a conversation with your boyfriend about your views and wishes for the relationship, when the two of you are having a calm time.  A few questions I'd like to ask him is why he says he doesn't love you when the topic at hand is about a specific practical matter.I'd also like to know what he hopes will happen from dwelling on a matter.And, why are you swallowing your pride?  Sooner or later this will come up on you in much bigger ways.  Instead, try to know your own wishes that you are either not stating or are being ignored by your boyfriend.The best way to resolve accumulated tensions is to slowly open the discussion between the two people.It is possible to stay together forever.  What you each need to realize, is the terms under which this would most likely take place.Sending lots of luck!


Question:
Me and the father of my child have been dating for a year. We had a big argument and at first he wanted to work it out. But with time he started asking others and they told him to leave me.
Now he wants me to wait on him to mature. He wants to talk to other people. Then come back in four years. He doesn't want to deal with me while I'm pregnant. He doesn't take me to the doctor or anything. I feel alone. How do I handle this situation?

Response: Well, as far as your boyfriend, sounds like he has received advice from others that is not wise advice.  Leaving is not the answer after a "big argument" as you mentioned.  However this is not surprising to me based on his possible age and maturity level.  Having a baby is a lifetime responsibility and there are very few who handle this or who realizes that it requires one to step their game up.  This is something that he has to realize and be encouraged by his parents or a mature adult to do.  Hopefully, someone who has better (wise) advice will talk to him and he will listen.As for you,  how do you handle this situation is your question....you do what you have to do to prepare for your baby, with or without him.  A lot can happen in four years and you don't have time, are not required, and can't wait to see what will happen with him.  You have a LIFE to prepare for,  to feed, to protect, and to love.  Can you tell your baby to wait; I don't want to deal with you now; I need to mature; I will be back to see you later; Hope you will be fine?  Nope!!!   As I always say, you are not alone because there is someone somewhere going through the same or similar thing.  Develop healthy friendships...whether with family, friends or new people who may enter your life.  Your support system will grow and life will go on...with or with him.  Stay focus on you and your baby...


Question: Something happened this summer that I cannot forgive myself for. When I think about what happened, I feel ashamed and guilty even though my loved ones forgave me.

Response: Realize that you are human, not perfect and will make the wrong decisions at times.   That is OK, we all have.  However, the best way is to say OK, I did it, learned from it, will not do that again.  EVER!!!  You can get pass it; grow from it.  Unfortunately, we forgive others faster than we do ourselves because we hold ourselves to higher standards or expected better behavior from ourselves.  It can be embarrassing, hurtful, almost unforgiving at times.  But how do you forgive yourself? Take a Deep Breathe..... and then acknowledge that you did something wrong, acknowledge it, and say to self,  "I forgive me".  Just like you would say to someone else.   This starts the process of forgiving. Also ask yourself these questions:   What lesson did I learn?  What would I have done differently?  What will be a trigger that will make me do that again, if I happened to be weak or tempted?  Avoid or prepare for those triggers....  Forgiving yourself will set you free from the prison you have put yourself in.  You would start back living.


Question: I get so much anxiety, and I Don't know why. I feel like I can't do anything by myself because I'm scared of the outcomes.

Response: This is a very common question in my practice. Panic attacks typically emerge from an underlying issue (ex. Depression, low self-esteem, fears). To decrease your anxiety symptoms it's recommended to seek treatment with a therapist who specializes in working with anxiety disorders and most importantly one with whom you feel comfortable with.In my practice I educate clients about their anxiety and discuss building a framework with helpful tools for decreasing anxiety:1. Starting a daily mindfulness practice. For example: listening to guided meditation; engaging in deep breathing exercises; yoga practice; or other positive calming activities.2. Understand your negative and positive thoughts. Many times we tend to focus on the potential for bad things to happen. Increase positive self-talk when feeling down or when anxious. For example: "I don't need to worry, I am calm and relaxed". 3. Exposure to fearful or anxious situations. This can be accomplished under the care of a mental health professional. Many times we shy away from things that make us feel uncomfortable or insecure. This may led to an increase in isolating behaviors resulting in difficulty in performing things we were once able to do. For example: leaving the house; presenting in front of others; going to social events; and having conversations with people. However, the more we expose ourselves and practice the use of our positive coping skills (ex. deep breathing) the chances of anxiety will decrease. I hope this was helpful. Keep in mind, a therapist can help with guiding you through self relaxation and improvement.


Question: Weve been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he does not love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Response: Communication involves a listener and a speaker.  Both have to be willing to do their part to make communication work.  This is something that takes both and not just one.  Without both, communication is impossible.   Staying together and the kids observing unhealthy communication is already broken.  Seek help to improve communication.    Couples' counseling would be helpful.


Question: I found out my boyfriend takes anti-depression medicine. Lately he's been saying he has a lot on his mind, and he needs time to think about us. We've only been dating 3 weeks but I like him a lot.

Response: Give him the time and space he needs.  Obviously something is going on with him that he needs time to process, think about, and work through.  Respect that most men are not talkers but more thinkers.  If and when he is ready to talk, he will.  When and if he does talk, be a comforting listener and put yourself in his shoes the best you can to be the support he needs.  Don't take it personal because you just been dating 3 weeks and his depression maybe something that been going on for a while.  If you do like him...showing him by being patient and supportive at this time.


Question: Whenever I have to speak in public or be in big crowds, I freak out. I get light-headed, sweaty, and I have trouble breathing.

Response: As you do it more, it should get better or at less with less anxiety.  Anxiety is normal for most when speaking in public.  I hear this from even the best of facilitators who have been doing it for years.  I even experienced that when I first became a counselor and had to lead classes.  I asked myself why were I so anxious?  I admit at that time I didn't have confidence in myself.  The more I prepared and practiced, the more my confidence level increased.  Yours will too...


Question: My coworkers are making false statements about me to the boss, saying I have mood swings. They have no proof to back it up. Can my employer make me see a therapist of their choice?

Response: If this is a concern of a few coworkers, make sure it is not something they see but you don't admit to.  Employers can "suggest" or something "stipulate" in continued employment with them  for you to go to their Employment Assistance Provider (EAP) if they have noticed the same behavior and concerned of how it is effecting productivity or employee relationships.  No one wants to work in a environment which they consider hostile.  Employers can be held responsible if they do not take action.Couple of things you can do...Ask a coworker in which you trust and respect if what others are saying is true?Seek professional help from your primary care provider or counselor if mood swings do exist.


Question: I am a teenage girl. I've been seeing the same dream once in a while since I was very young. The problem is that I don't remember anything about this dream. I still know that it's the same one, and then I wake up in a panic, and I cry really loud without knowing the reason. Why do I see the same dream, why can I not remember it, and what should I do to remember it?

Response: There is no scientifically established formula for understanding dreams, that I know about, however, many people get a great deal of value from exploring what their dreams mean. It is believed by many that our dreams contain metaphors that represent meaningful patterns in our lives and relationships and if we pay attention to them we can learn important things about ourselves. One thing you might try, to see if you can get more insight into the dream and possibly begin remembering things, is to take note of whatever you do remember, any details about your experience, such as when do you wake up from the dream, how do you feel, both emotionally and physically, what are you thinking about when you wake up, is there any pattern in terms of what happens to you in your waking life around the time you have this dream... If you can keep a journal or a recording device to speak into by your bed, you can try to record whatever you do remember and notice as soon as you wake up. People seem to have more difficulty remembering dreams, the more time they let go by before attempting to record the dream, or if you go back to sleep before recording what you remember.


Question: My mom is always bossy and treats me like a child even though I'm in my 20s. She argues with me over stupid stuff.

Response: This is a common issue. You grow up gradually, and parents often forget to shift their habitual responses according to your newfound level of maturity and growing need for freedom and independance. I'm all for helping you find new ways to cope and interact with your mom. Ultimately, you only have control over yourself, so that's the place to start. You can remind yourself that Mom's behaviours don't mean that she doesn't trust you or love you; it's just that she has habitual ways of talking to you that seem stuck in the fourteen year old range. If you can see her responses as habits, rather than a reflection of how she feels about you, then you can keep yourself calm. The more calm you are, the more she will buy into it when you invite her into a different sort of relationship. Take a look at the picture from her perspective. She may feel overwhelmed with finances (are you in college?), and feel burdened by the mundane tasks in life that she doesn't know how to recruit help for. I bet your mom spends a lot of time picking up after you, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry...all those thankless mom tasks. Take a look at how she talks to you... is she nagging about chores? Can you see that underneath the nagging there's a pretty overwhelmed and powerless person who needs assistance?  Okay, so my guess is that you both have a legitimate beef. She wants help. You want respect. Let's talk about how you get both.I propose that you sit down with mom and negotiate out a different sort of dynamic. "Mom...I see us as stuck in how we interacted when I was fourteen. Can we do this differently in a way that we both get what we want?" Sell it as "win-win". Then you write down some things that end up forming a contract. The first part is stuff that's your business and your business alone: things you want your mom to respect, like your room, your school, your job, your personal relationships and hygiene.... Mom's voice has no place in these arenas, unless you are storing food in your room and it's a health hazard. This is a "Mom says nothing about" list. The second part is about what Mom needs from you. What are her expectations about your role in the home as an adult. Does she want you to contribute to rent? Buy your own food? Do your own laundry? What items can we put in your control that would take some burden off of Mom? How will these things be enforced? What will happen if you don't follow through? Write it all down so it's really clear. It has to all be mutually agreed upon.The third part of the conversation is about how she talks to you, and how you talk to her. You can let her know that you don't want to be told what to do or when to do it; that doesn't work when you're 20 years old. Listen to what she wants too. Beyond the contract you've just written up, anything else you want from each other is a request, it's optional, and whether and when you do it is at your discretion. My guess is that if she spoke to you with more respect, you'd be more willing to help out. AND, I think if you participated a bit more she would nag at you less. Go for the win-win. I wish you well as you negotiate a new relationship with Mom. :)


Question: I get so much anxiety, and I Don't know why. I feel like I can't do anything by myself because I'm scared of the outcomes.

Response: The other two post answers to your question are very good and I don't feel the need to repeat what has already been said quite well, but I will offer one other option I have been able to utilize quite successfully with those dealing with panic attacks.  Chain analysis is a fantastic way for your to map out the situation starting with the prompting event, the chain of events ((links) that lead up to the behavior - in this case a panic attack, and then what the consequences were.  See the illustration below:<img 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il+McycZ8dTHEHxqULttL/FLW4xPs2Iv93UcLbxGg8zyPpy6hlwN0BS9fFZ/3aQWvy6diNkfHg5o8/pf+5znzu+SgOPS13qUptP+IRPGE8vnFP38iic1cGfXNHiBsIOfzjNLN++OVAHxzmdF6i578nkg7XX2OpEeMI5urfhokW70urrj/97Be2NC37Ow9wuHqnbD7/ks1f9DGvlFwd2lQPNg/Ojw2BkB9g/sMxXc0tQJ85jNGf3m9enyi/whOZ9/SvvWho+8nDXZsZPmQi35rg28mhgj1yz52xoY0Sfa3wQ1SuvbsZj5RcHToUD23p2Kn3P1rY76YBnIBgUDorUF0580cRftj/60Y/e+MIJo+FMsvaMKaPEIWGsGBcvLHLc55CSVHamGB50iXbC/TGR3edv//ZvH19HcSb7lre85dh9vulNbzqOkHiK8GVf9mWDTww1JxcP8ZqDbTfazreyFgTwM/7xT5rTPve3CAj6xOO//du/3bzpTW8aL4n6x883vvGNm9/6rd8aMuSEk69/I/34j//4gZexyLHxwVMGnoVjvpZvnHihTN9TCfrOYRvmTI+68NEH78TaNLY2ylxbNKX6KnNjg28C3cVL5cEgG7zUJzjBaMz4r48QzvKVjYqtuspWujiw6xygx/S/OZBeN8fofHOqdmgyp8wv7bUVZ9vEvtQ3WDMv5rk0lzf+fvVzW/nwL18/Y5avD/yzpeFkzovq2BjBdbRke8BSFkz2RV7MbsjHx+qk2wHOe5Vvt1vXiwPNhzix9CZOHJzupAOekZHa5fSC4Dd/8zcP4+nfLB1l4JjbZeUo2r1tJ3E2TgeTfvxqt5UcBRlSO83OauPX/e9//80TnvCEwRefZXQO+2/+5m82jpyYGDe/+c3Hd9If9ahHDaeXA8dQM9yiPMePI98RE232CrORhosYXmRhAZzLwbcQFJzh9z1z59XJmWP92Z/92UPeX//1Xz9w1hZOxgKvhSjnHE3bC5m2YgtY450orV/t9Fc202C8ovoWP33gNtMXHCkY+s3w0FNduIIX7pUFp7HAIRMwa9OirTwc1BfCueuVLg6cbg7Q44PCierp+15h7te8Sufn+aOvcuuEdtYKfc0V88TcUV40R7RnpwTlc1A/h+3rua688cCZcW4uwkt5dfAxfnBnuwsG2moDvjVQX+2ytWylduBYF4OlHRiuwZBqV31peEv3KpvrV35xAAfS37ix9CZOHJzujAM+CzBDwVjY0XVcwU73z//8zw/nm1NIwMoyoAxZxkZ/hiUjejALjkdt/CmFtTw+tOv9ohe9aGOH2z9mcsLvec97DoPLUbWbzTBzcF3f9ra33fz4j//45qd/+qfHrjNecbqdx854z5whi9l4G1tk5LVvJymHUl+LXDJoQoKhvRj+Uu1e//rXb9xg/dIv/dLYpVduVxxNn//5nz/QcSzGIooO9JD/HMNZX6FxKz8orc+c6u96LgOja/SiHV0z7W54vKzqJVW66WkMvZUX4Y7fXmrFQ08gvPjqiQ0ZXPSiFx3Rwiq6dgMlGA//8ABc/MCDHHDwBG30jQfb6Wi0fhYHTiMHmif7DWHeHBTYNvpMj9mIdBtcfbuWNwcqp+uuzTXzRDAftNfGvGET1Rf02Y76CHN513M6Gu3xY6xwktYneHDcDtoZF00cbDhL2RR2wzrXhlM0Zz/AYgf0UdeNRmOwOWiO73hQMC68hNK98Kv9ShcHcCC9Lk13SheX9ufAzjjgGYRQdU2gjpp4qc8n9T73cz93GI7+RIeR4oz0Ep++DAzjIwophfxxVgh0RMucZyDRxZG+y13uMs5V2/2+7GUvu/nLv/zLsYvNWDPefR2F0VV2u9vdbpwFx98rXelKY1HKYZMy3kLGfFxs/eD37HjOfeCVYx7vkyu8LahkaHGBT866IdxMOOPPGUfvF37hF27ufOc7jxc4wbKAWlj1B0tM5qGoX+NWdlC6F3/hGwypNsqiw/l2R2le+cpXbt785jcPp9u59be//e2D5/gBx/DEV1EAK90FG0x04Qeecsa70cAf37X3qUcv0vqqjK/VXOEKVxjOuacV6A9XsC20jaW8utKDeLHqFgcuCA40p/aDZV4cFNgEMNgR88KTPkfZ3Ii7pvPmG/um3Evk8urMJ3PoUz/1U8c8Moe8d0L/wbzkJS855pM5Yp5lf/Qzb42prLmzncL7RHMpO1EajOy2MeDCjqLNe06OW7IpXmq3KaGtNc/GCrrYb3ZDP3DNczfhF7/4xc+7gfeSuy9ReZro5p3dkKITvAL+gyMWwlE6t61+pYsDMwfSndLmROncduXflQNH7oAzICY54TFGjKGdQgbFPzze6173Gt+j5nwzigwIQ9Vu4LuSc2ZeoTtHqryU0WaI/R39rW996+GMvepVrzqPCQxzRjQetxBopOzqV7/65iUveclYvPDWIqV827E+D+i5me3Jtl3fde263k7RIew1WfV1pOYZz3jG5gd/8AfHosThvN/97rf5iq/4irH42iHLiQWL46rMImVxARec/ZxzfdBbW3yWb/FVF4x3vOMdm9e85jWbX/3VX9385m/+5tjdfstb3jJ2rumjMYx7iUtcYjjLeMlJtjBa7DnOFnQyAFPeeNrZ2eJIwB8MzgTYFmMOhcXXP516B8KueQ4IXC20nHOf4fy6r/u6zRd8wReM+WMM9RZtYxgLvfBEl7wyemJc7cldvdjc3JaZ6+SqzwpnNwfoGH1pLsnPZXRsO9AzIV0z30R6KriB5YyyTa973evGXGgOqGerzHP6x7kEh/MtNRfot3liHbFewM18M88EN6zmG9th88EctYvsHRT/bWCzwhjNEfS4Oc7WuDZn4KyNcbI74LeGaZeNMn7l5qRPwT7vec/bsCucbSl7Z245Tuhzrp6KyXsvhlMNLzTin+gpMPvgSRvb0A2IMrDmuZ89+rzP+7zxJJk9+pzP+ZxBJzh4aWxw8S/bgA9zQFN2cS4vD0YRrissDiwO7M2BI3fAoeXu3t25wBkw4V/4whduvviLv3g44F4m5JQwngydNowDQ7CXcd+b1ONbysAzZIyewDGK9p/8yZ8cRzRuc5vbjH/BtKgwoPhpgdBXP5FRnB1wBpdD6SnD1a52tc0555wzFgjtGOTZMdvmnjbCiRyw2m337xode8GpH5mTvUXsqU996ub7vu/7hiN+zWtec+MfT7/8y7984GyxsRDDRx+0gzEvAMotmBbR2tE1+XkhhQ++iZ4iWCTdBHAEjGMRvNzlLjfiV37lV45xLZR0EZ9zIoKT7OBjHDKwGM+4aat+5qcFnxyUF/VXTs4WVy/bvvzlL9/84i/+4uatb33rGB9Nblgd37nyla88HHTj6SvVn2y7ieUUGHfGGz5ks42j8hXOTg7QQWHWUXPENb3aL9Aj7QQp/Tc/2XIBXO9/eBLnSdJrX/vasfPLIdVG28tc5jLDMTbH3cxymJuzyuhyMNkLNtBNKtxE+s4RN5/NDzvjHFbvnqjj3LvZNX/h68jbV3/1V48dZA6wXXQ0miuCuQ6eOgEM48CBnTGX1BunwMlmRx75yEcO+sDgWNuVN95VrnKVcdzSzQEcxf3Wt+x483O2o/LwwQM76fgoxVd8dnPPfrAD4PuzNk65p6Y+7YtWfGdf1JeyRXNQ3nqMb2gvwCHcKttLf6pb6eLA2ciBnXDAM1SMG8PlLt5OHoPFEf/Yj/3YYVAY3HYgcibOFqExuIycwLhaDH7lV35l7AQ7z/0d3/EdYxFiEPGTsWQ8GcIWIX0ZQbCUCYzkD/3QD23ufve7j38VBUuofjsdlaewA5rRrd9+aeNoXwyP6EWPRfNZz3rWeMnULrRF8nu+53vG4qG9RQHtFh900qd5MVCOj/gHroXITpDAuTYG/hnjKU95yuAxeBYpu+5uCr2TYOHFO/3xXD/BmMaTiuqE+BCdo/Dcn20nRj8BnhZzqbH2WtAaRzv0cMgdR3KzYh4J/hnW99e9jOuRdHDwSnRDET/MK8FiOuuPsnAvHQ3Xz1nDgXQYweWzSdkZKX2mT5XRIzrXPJZn630J6WlPe9pwCl/xileMjRhPjzzB4QzaAbbraw5xVM05sPVXBp7Nmxxvc11djrm2nExrhjbmCn3n4CrT31eZOPDmgCdMjnw885nPHDcC1h9OPDhuuO2Of8mXfMl40mgsNDRf+oqUtniiXh2Yv/ZrvzbmIwfY+GD5qAA6HSUT8KvARplj+AZG9lCqHHxRPnuG7mQBjn4iJ75+2sOPfeOUs13oZSs81SMvPHZzc9WrXnVjk0NUDr6+7ebjp7Glc0AfPJTP+GiTzszt4bTC4sDZyoEjd8Az0gRgcjOOjlRwBP2lukdkJrrACJjYJjJjsD35z0QhojPnjkFtgbHbySG0w/LqV796GFV8srBwGOuX0cvQua4MvyxQFo8b3OAGYxfVImERtPBYlGpb/8PgcThKjZshnw2+hdMnDO973/sOp9MTAGfG0YN2O9IWmBZaCzZY6ix2FmMOqsVXsCj99m//9vgiy9Of/vSx6HBWfYmFDvpMov70lRzIJLz0Vw7fnGdyatGKhrl9C6SFWh99tRc4Bvqk3+rQHmx1oqBOOw64ert/wUCffzs1nyyweOCYiqcGHHKOuaAfvhmf7tQ/vRsF+zjgxj8/ITrOD4zV93A5MMs8+c1zM2xyftl1eknn6SEHl233p112rh0B4dj6QzA6WVt6aV6as+aO1JwWzOtCa4h53Ryjy/Q3RxgszqibbHjlwINh/mhvZ5jTzya45oDbGXesz824J03mpv8sYBfYHMe/jIk244NtDrn2krsndvBG1w1veMNxA++ITOODpz8cmu/64iscqpePNjijR5wdd+Vkk3zA0IZs5PGigGcCuAI++yKVmwXv37AbnHRrgSdp1gdPIcIJjmCjQ14UyCU81ZcfldPPjONUvLKLA2cVB47cAcdtE7UJyVhwEOxKMnomdrsWtWVMGLUM1pksMfQzsviTQZO34/393//948U/Bp3RZ/zxRL0Uj7adqHiljchx09ejyS/6oi8aOzN2lJXHX/wWSoNxOtLwKkUDI+46+uFVmRsFj3W/67u+a9Q7RmNBt9BqY0EAowXMrhUds8grc1bSkwSLpR11T1scybnOda4zjnG0wJED/uJnC6wF201KDkB45YwbX5wDOoST5aX2e7XFC+MkXzTBEU2NAXfX+nMk7Db6V1SP+S2saOSIe/wMjt1EfdyQCTkT4+I0/exF22kaaoF9Nziwn/4Fqh3R5Mhu0EVzpLljl9URqZ/6qZ8aTrc5dv3rX/+84w6cU/NIcPZbNG7H6MA0h+m8SKdF+m8+m3f011xTblz9tZWaFyK9dm090Qae2riGrzxYUhtB6q1D6tiTt73tbRs79Y6tcFTBdFzjW7/1Wzff+I3fOG4m8MPZbvZIH09y73Of+wwHXPt4Ao94Jo8+9IjKoyk+S7WDm4BW7cAsqAuucWbbA7724KNLHYcc/9hC/fChGxu4c8TZU86443duNu5617uOjR+ywU83CMZ1c9N40YKGaCwN15UuDiwObDY74YATBEfKbu4b3vCG8fjR1y887jdxTWh32oLJbqIzGIxJBu1MFiYjx2jmGHk5j7Ps30AdH8GHDKldC7u/jCmjaEESMszxyTVeihYNBtULr/6gx9c8PIoEo10TcjgdRhQeAtjlpeX3wx/N9AJ+8hb5nprYaXrwgx88nOn4YQyLSjy0oPispXZ24exy42dPFYwPJ06oQM8s8vhl0Ysvo/KAH7JDQ3ToD+68WKXD4GpXXbtf2iuXFpIdPLUPvusWWPiin2yrt4PIieAM/cIv/MLYUfSZR06EF1wFuoS39Mcimiwae07DdS5b+TOHA8l+1j3U0T919Iq+lU+XvRTIkf7RH/3RcYPrZpXNsrlirjn3zNkzv8Cmb9lz+ZxVOtw1XaOPAqfc/HBtLoKRMwoH+GjDkbZ2sGXgRwf83Xzrq46TbRy0mCN2wvVV78bUXDCP4Ay+8+IveMELxvMfKcgAACAASURBVP8pSM0dTrija+bXjW50o83d7na34aDDG/3GdKMBb6HdYzxsfo6K6UfbWQZgifu1r2t9siHxTb26eO0an+CmjdQ1vsNPO2uzo6A2xH75l395XDui4ibDf3Lgk8C+am8dx+fGkYdzvB+N18/iwOLA0TvgGVqOgonrGAGj7Xygf3DMgDSJycxkFkz2ExmiM0HGDCJaGX/8etCDHrR5/OMfP4yis5EZ0JzLjo9EO0Mo4mFG0DVjy9kSLDCOdDiXaAfHeWF1jHL96hvcCyKFhzDDrkxqgUY3mVsc6QOZWyDCi+G3sHmM+sQnPnEcS8ELfzTEoUYHHllAfRnh4Q9/+DiW4YjGPe5xj3G20y6woG16ZRz0GxOvugkkA23gMOuicjjrBzd5bbYDWPqrnxfG7XbhUbl+omBckdNQPpiNGe+aY/rhlR0v+LnRchNiztkh95jZt+OddxeMpW+y2U61qWx0eDd+TtT/RPXvxpCryylwgI7OMkgHS+kae+OGXeBoepnyAQ94wHjS4t92zS1HTOwWN584veYkHeX8mlvmOTuk3JwDmwMMh+Yg59fYrpXT+eag8dXroy+8u+k2nn7qC8ZWrn/jZkPhk+MPDhy1ZTPcsNvFBw893rm42c1uNtYvzjt6Oaxsib5gw0meDWvOgweuAFbzFz6zDdFvO6BdHziqr8/Mi1l2YItCbfXTZg6VaRt95IFvohurZz/72cPOknPn2W16WK/hox84bIex5NEjvx9+Mw4rvzhwtnBgJ3bAGSUTVPS952tc4xrDiTKR1WWEMw4mdk7GmS4otM7GmNG22+IrF45NMPgekzJ88SSnST+Bkc0Y42FljGwLEufVDRCD6tN5jiuoz4DqV98B4AL6aQE4CDZ64GIhK6C3gG6LqYUNPR4P3+lOdxqPTi2M/pTIgmnX97u/+7vH10K8BGUHp6+X0DPjWHjjG/jK4hF9FOZFZOZ7+JSirT6Vxc+ut9PaN4bx5bvWPp7J49ssJ/3FGWd9OSzoUg5nzkE7V75l7obO0xTjfed3fuc434oXYCX7UvCSV/hu03Gy1zOv9+oz071X/So7PA7QO7om0pN0jX02N80nmwPa2el2/plDa17qY47Vl1w53OwZnXRtHstz+MCnf/L6uxbpXXnlcDAePdJf2vyQT1dzdl27YZDC2TyAlz7gsqXmSvjmPJsz4MGJUy/PpvjjMF/pgpcniGA8+tGPHi93uplVhgf6GJPDbUz55pf8QSF6pM3BvdrPc7V6dOiz1xjoVo7n0a+tawHN8vhBxlJ8tJGhztG9H/iBHxjvzpAFm3qrW91qvKQOtvaNjV+zPMA35l54hftKFwfOdA4cuQPOYGU4nDXjgHuMZ8ckg3OmC+Eg+hgyRpDRtmB5vOmTgXapv/Zrv3YYwgxbcPBNYPxOFFpoWuwsoM4JOwrEgAqMqzEEsjoKo7mtC65F+MDNggBPOEvt1PhDIs6kz3t55O3sps8GKvNSJZ7WF69aHOVbcGanfzDgmP/EM3yTJ3/RrrinA25WHEOyC+54jq8gcILwgxPhJs0jebzCG/yW0lN8B0t7uirgsXo603j4mz7lGJGfwInSJxnow0aYA8oK6WFp5cYXgq9/Ye5f2elOjS/OcwaOcJnL0CHMfEKzvuGtjXzX2oMVrV0HV10w8Nkc15d85AvgbsMOhjbVgyV4WikPhnZPetKTNg996EPHja0X9hy98LJvO8xSMkxn4EVf0KaOrpA73IxF/lLlja2/9sZFr2u6Ry9FeKArfoBFp6TpD93V19ETdXay07scRvXxBnzOs++R+zKIzQ6wbFCwj46e2Om3IeJpmzPSAvw55T43iAb/YWAjAK1gw9M4+CE0d9AnwFke7dodZcBPAT5zrAzvne8nfy/YeiKLVmf88QOtZBMd8ugTontcTBsL1Vd+sunMv/qQL52JpzNsdfVhuwRl2qTryvCALOAuFoIVjcGoHuzg0e9sZfXhFuzg0TH5eFb7E6XREpwTtVdfH/m9+qnfr1zdzI+TGW+1eVcOXPj+VtwjDJSN4hIkQ2cnzved7UyeqgIeIRmnbWj8MXkzxr4g4Gsd9773vcfi0ATZayLsNXG2EdWvMRgdn7HzFRBHUDxSVEcOwW+8bTiHcb0XPXBjAC0EDDo+CfD1JEVws+LrLpwDO/uOq4DFMbSo2gnGY3llYjAHgDP4h8zRzjngEFzrWtca3yT2hYoHPvCB45E7PpJ7TjUet9gopzO+SsMxd+OjrzJHXHx3uX/2kxfAIR/yytnhtJQHH04WKEGevLTXzpgtqsqVpcPgBls7+qGNeBRhHrd8+EgtytEC3+rQIOAF2qJFGT5wCrQJpnb4pV19tVEW/7RV51pwXATvzJ3m+NxfHdzA0dc1PXHcRB9H1rw38YhHPGLI1G4w55scvbDopo5OBNPYorGUwQ1cuiRFg7HwJLvjWnQtCtoKYKBFeTgqd50tqJ9UexF8YzVuOqIs/MAB024559sXQtDMiafPjkh6mdlGkRt9PPFujptYjv21r33tsVHiM4SOvBnTGXi8YV/gjZ/K03t0iW6W4IH3Rx3CKZ7DJz7KK3e06MY3vvGwr+h92MMeNnbH8dzmh3eMyAPd2rOtQjYkmKNwkm/XJ5uG69w+2SpTn17I4696sSCP982n9KryxsADdckpGMoaC/3RqJ06Y5pDyvUBr/ZzvrJReYIfuAilNQ9e13ul0TO3Tb7S6rf77le+3W5dH8yBo5/h5+JHoD6txxnifM8KcTAJZ3ZtfJAyCj6FZUGw08CYVP/ucoGRYAgYRYuCP7ngiFmcwd/1wKgx7ALDZtHPwXBv6d9UHUdBj5u7m9zkJht/XqQt58AjZwseY9ORDLAstjkvu86DU8EvfZEWLZDR7oyrc/P+wAfvPGL2Z02O7viHQGfFOR8+fck58fUcfATDDYyAp3TVNR4WLD5uftRLyY3z4UssnlBwXC596UuPG0t9WlA4KuBZtMhXcE13pTkw2qfPLXyNfdRpixk88D3a0t0cA3pXQDfaWtzRKlrMlUkLwZ/L5ZsLlZMHWeE/fhfMIzYATDjAkbzwc4bh5knbxz72sZu73OUuYzfYkyUytIHy67/+6+MzfeTkxWhjgGd8/YwvD7Z8fJCqN55YXts5wEuZND5wYoXGARcM9XiobQFcPFSmjQAXQZn67Kp2YLtxZBPplOMXXuD2lNaLiDaL0GlM65YxOeL45Bvf3knxtSrRDvFDHvKQcUbcLrwXPcPdWGySHff4M5A64p94V5r+SQW8Svc89WBjvQzvpuPOd77zeOroSZqntoKnJ3QCn5L9qDj3p3HmsoPyjb1XG3XwlBpPzC6QPZnRbeXkQPbqw6G2wdYGPOVkpJ8+8srNH2Nlj8BhI+mONsFrI6Px9RG1ERq/cQ9K9dsvqDsRrOSoXW3nfLDnceqjLpxrt9JT48CRO+CUshdl/FsX55KRYxQpfAvUqZF15rRuETQpKDsHqG9XmwjndwK0+DAGYHm8ahFgTFy3SO0qR/GAEWRI4S0vfsu3fMtYJDkJFgK7+RZEu7qMoicJdMtC2Atk9A0cvJafnaFdpf9U8cqQZmwtImjmlCmzeFhUOeRuYPDyh3/4h8cOF93wTWS64qgY3vvkI+fZ42aOOMfLI3mOj7PlYOVs2x306N7uOKfGjY8dMzKib8Y2HifcjprvsPtEnQW7RYs+5lTBW8gJgI8yNAnapt+j4JB/4rVh8RZ+ykQ4KkOLedbijBZ8cY0f9BNPXeONftGknRtLdNJXPJSCIZKTY33GUR4MePiWNYcRbONzBskR/4wTL8FwbRw3TvCxy23X1/Ekzjf5gq+tOWVsMHO+Z5mgHb7oML/QIDRmPIJzfItmdeDGO7Bcxw95Ubn+xoETPuojgKFuhjEqzr3hg4cApsg2+B44/UM7fjrX7XN89NxYbjT9cZB1DO02MfxhWIED6nOE+CX15IA98t5NcodPY7fmuUbProT4Fn/hFa50Dx/ok3/1pEtssKM4jv1d/epXH+8HeMeITMidXohC8j4VWuEh7tW/uvSBXOZAtnCHBwdZnm4IaIEj/SRTNMnDNf1pvtEtZXRN0I4sXZOfuVGAgzo4SYMXDeAoL2xfVz6n8Q2M8urnfO0bp+va7dV2blO7yuBYn71g1u5k0uCcTNszsc2RO+CYmhBSoib1LhmfoxI+3pjMJrZg4vvut90SfDq/EwBME10UTC47WRad48J/eDKaFklGz/EZ3/R2BtN5RPUMqWM7zjb790x/uWy3zgLLGXRTwyC2CxU/BlPOgJ9ZT+a8hYYTYHGgY/TNjp6vo3A2HNnxtIWu2fl+8YtfPF4ATh/147zjXU51u6scdnz32F4s0Gfy0tduoUXQWHbH3ByRnRf6tKHvdho90vf5Og65m3RBf7SQFRpavDi1yrMjjXsY6cxb49HHHMTmsja1s4DjBzrRIU+P8VNf+olONy+cOkd9HKdyDM3Nixty+o12MMlTlFdGFm6m3BzhrfE43sby9IIctXXzyik3DziQnCj8djMEHuebfG9961tvnv/8529ufvObbx73uMeNp5YcU/iLnBlj4D0a9EWTvLGMG35kBnd8EeFRXjvXlaFFnaBOAFd/sCvXzvjamsuCcUSw1OuvPrkoE8BSJ9UeXGNwwPwjp2Mot7jFLQYvfGYQ731q0Y09HqDPjQydNpZ5QxfJid76MoodcOelOaduWvGMbGw6kZV+0R5+A7kd+Ek2Myp0E6/QnnzNW3ywTrEjXn53E+LPi7ygyhnHVzoiTa6lM/ztPP7MYb6uv7Ii/sMvW4C3cDa3yJnssyPyZE6HC/VzDaYxtFM+16WD2rFneNCGED00bs648cwBehrMxiuNlq5PlB7U3hiFOa8MHwrVzWlzQBv8Mo4+eLBr+hkdxyndCQfcxBX8OYizgxZ0i5CJc7YHyt7kZkwEC6rJIDJg5ycwBiZTE9FCb8GxSM/G8fyMcTr7Mhb4gwaLmV1bZ9i9GOTsMgeQHqEJ/5zD9C1bZ1ftzPi2LYfODh8DyWi2K8KIppunk4bDgo1XGdfGTO4WAzvTHpV7qY5x9c93PlHohoUucMg8RrezST8sQI6scD7k8di8teDQK/qJn647jmJ8sBlyeTuH8hw+Y+A9Z4TcfO7MS8cczvvd736jDp523x0lcuwBLDICi4PZmNG3Te9BC1V9zm+6PeYMz/hFizJ66W6LPh6giQ10lp6uuiHp3271xVPnbumyG0n0K8MbsLQhD+W+0yy124qn6s0Hc4GjKMU3x/+cbfbUwk2WOaScI3X7299+zDHHC9gHLx66kfU0wxwRyBvuxjI2BwNs8jAm3YCfoJ2oDq1SPIO3II832oClv6Bs5p122oBRXht9ggV2fcprK4CrfVFZ/crjm3Zsrs8Nukl0JEu5aCz6ilYBLHOAPNww4Ucw7Qrf8Y53HE8NHIuzIUDv9ZnpAKfrAfQIf+AW/qXb6LAh8KUDdAvN+rmxcOOCTrbYUwP/7eFP5PzZmz7JAuxt+Oq2y4xdnxmPuWzOw4UummdgmWfKhOw8XLWBP5m5YfI0XqyduUDe5BzexiF/sqYfHQ2Vd/Nl7tF513PAI7pojqunv9EJZvnSue9B+eie+1WmX/lSZc2t4OpbrAyueNR80d+1eKKwDf9E7c+2+iN3wAnRBCZ0j+U4QhZ0Siqe7WGeDBxNE5bhYEQsfibH+QlgGqNFjENlR8fCrnzXA/w5eFIvW/r0GQfSZ9D6Zi8e0TE7eHb3fJuY4+0FKl+S4eRxKjkfbgIzUBnqXefByeCX0Yw2fcgXjZ52OOvtZToO193vfvfh3HLA6RpnG4999cEjZI6YdxEsPhYjMNz8aNsCbFGywFiw7H7byTU2OMq0JxPznewsfhwXC2Ty9I+kol1Gjp+bczcAz33uc8ffepsLPsfpG8T+BMUNFJjgsytgwiM93k5Phm+n0mbmrX5dt1C5hoNFKYeFYyqPV3a1PXHgcHsKJZKH6AViN4z4j09ox3+0gofv0QeePL3HA9H8tsMNB3IiD87RHPAOLM6IucBBJ2t60U67HXE3QG6cOKNg65P9AF8ZneCYki/c8IDMw7FxtJeXCupr4zr7pH9tlDemPHzhrl47eVHAA+NqA49w0bY+9dPe2K61r9xTAUfW/D+FnVzzgUMGB7z2JIGT5RpP0E6POWFuPOmlGxypY1Vo8h4Kp9RNpvPRHd8yPjjaoEX+KEOyKN3GJX7SRVGId+SP93TbPPXHX44AenKizDlxunKygTzm4Dq85Od65cXkrh5PrQueuHnS95KXvGRsPJAnXKXNL7I0vwTrg/mDJjpF7uDRb/DYqOwW2uhWT6/crJK778NbW13TDzpjLpIxmOlu1zOt++VnuqM/npTOfWtT2rw1trJ0Dg76K0tGzUW4qhe1PyicqB6Mszkc+WcIMb+zYxZXRsmOlxe+9lKgs1FYHG0TwaJr18/kffKTnzxuVDL8JkWhyXUy/GN0BP1NxhYZhskCrZ4BC34TtLEOK0XTTI/rItw4L14c5Iw95jGPGYbUggf/HBX8y/lT97znPW84bh6J+oJDDgNja7eQIT5TDAS5FZMZfno87LOMFoL73ve+48943AjTOY45/eIc0DkLkGM7HEF/r+0xuptlcLTXlkwYbHkLEZ3Cf6lFycKFp66ldEs53PSzkAlkYVwy0FY/be0yWQg4qf4t1zzg3Fjs7Io7O36pS11q9IEXZ0CQL54umaJdSC/l0eUa/sbHC+PTSzrGKfHZT39qQjfRaLF2Vtj5enRx+PCzAB668JwDj38CPjVW11Lj4a16OMBF3njwU+9amo6YU/jsxofTL+/4hZtcO4GehriRdeODFo5LN2BwNY5yqXkH3jYP4B1ejQt/dKGPI4s+QdtkGa7aRkc0GU87dXCmg+pEOkyfwFLvWn/5IjziZ7xylMrxCXrmBskOabueaPY9cDwxXs45GqKbk+Y4hracNS8r4r2jVdrZADAW3cAzOOgrr2xXQzxLb/AdHfiQHNCCBnPZnHbtW+FuQOi4VFv6AU4BbEFdobLGVa5P19XrU6SXbBQeu9mxcUAe8KATbBodtOHkppJcbTy40SQbmwd0CDz4d0Pv2lzlu9AXmzvot66YMxx844D90pe+dHwxR3tz3vriD+88heXv0EN1+otoSsdnnsSHOU1Xo706+An1rz5eqZPHG3ygayJ8Xdcen4xBpmhvzpib2ebG3CvV/6AA7tkcDnTACSFBnk4mUXQCtfh6scUjK3+NTRkJqHo4pKQUgRFjqM70gH6yQKs/O3AW0SewTJgUmAGbQxNzu3xuUx4cE5WsnZnm3DiOULm66g9LJ8Kt8dIB1/CiLwwcPZD3KNeOhcfijFcGHx/QJerLIEiD68+MPGK/wx3uMBxQRkXQPt5qOwd1uxjCcxu/eCC1S2ORwCePwf2Zhvl2u9vdbpz/xdsMsvmFvxYZwTlgOugMqxfR/Iuovh7bckDwXbTg4h1jLoJhTDIU6SQ5aEevaqfM2OGrXU6dvMghAyv48O2Iyote9KKBp4XNl1yk8MnRJFtjhEMylrIr2sY7cHN+4CSoF9IdeXX6oKNr+AvKjec6R5ID5gy1lxfxHm4WfJ9/9Mk2Gw8cOjzTtxBeXQd/vn538/DD2+YYB8KuO6fFEyJ1cHbshTNiowTuvhdvR89LmZx0fcxBzgRec37oC51zMw8+OtR1c6etcjjgYfLBY3XKpK7xSjvXIljK9acPxkqX1In0Ev7BSw7aBZtcyRtMDgl7IqonB7bWC5SerKEzHTUefGsLjjxdgquAX/iizjyiU25wje8JxxWveMXh3PuqDJvFydFWPXyOe8B3EU/wU0qGz3nOc8YNnfXejrgnj2SIB5xebdN/cpTXF3/xlA41r5WRsXbaWLv8GZsdbilbBwc3R3afbdR4Esr5djafjMlS/2Rbqo4Noh/GMBa5wNU1fYGbPLmhDQ7q6ZpysM0FT5XcAHiSZ/44VmauewLiWJcbPcF8AQvOxksX0JvNbH3T3njw1ce4gmvzgs7hh3dHzDlPaxytgQ/Y5qtxjIFOKXri/QB2ri1DhzHIBv/pqpttR6tsjNBrtswNJp2HqzHmgD+CMeGnHkw0qHNtbPjjs3I8NOZ20EZdgfyOW9gJB9yEoqwEcJvb3GYoiMUUczGZUpgIBe3UpZiVn4kpWikWA2ACeKmFw2j31h27yUpR8aNJQ6ELFL0ATtelJqI7cuMwDM772plwDAFcfSi/eBQKDs/ozyFCJ3xMYHnHJ3ypww6Hx+MWXQZCwJfwBgud+kQ/GjkSHFAvbdrly4iB35hgBSd+7loaTTOuzS2GGE/oESNsd5XB9MTDWUXOtRsa7TOy+IRm88xOrMUGP+Wd5dSHPuqjL100j/XHQ8YTTvq0YGZQ4aEd/oNvnhtPTOf1k5cWyCPZgmEBsHDAgY0455xzhnPray2OANipv8ENbjDmjvbwYeSlaCsN/jxeC0T6MuOhTH0LNFjmJ1oEdM2w3NTaPXWMxxliDim8rnOd6ww5OOawvVjhSQvPtu5tX4f/qaZkhp925uDbgkg2nBPj26XnvFis3fygkZMu78iXeju8PlVpRw/MHsnrnz6A4dvwdAPfkgN4+Kkdecw8VI6XQg64dmShLX0SwYr/+EZPjEM34KCN0JjpIRjq6Yb+6VFjcCz8Q6ynQxwmbTjO+slzQowDT2X6ycNBeXPCvFDONqGPk4kf9NMTOw4p29XNLprhFe0D+WP8gzdCfMFveuOJlacojjp1BJAtwTv81Y4s6Xv2WBmdbX7hq6cSbhI9oeE76ONmlvzYKk+O8VJf9ktKFsbQ3zVdaQ7QTzikX3DXP1xcw4m+JHeyJ9tuvuiaPurhrp6+GB+Ndsm9V+AJGLnD08vnbhDgZGz6Y322TptvArzpD4canvKCY2KeXHuHw/sc+nC+jY0uPOMcc5LRxon3tA3OdE19dMNVG7iiBy6u4WVuc+j95wMeuMFxXM0YrrXxFNKGArheNrbjb+xuMOELJr6Dby0R0KsPuZCHFEwBnmDjq6A/PAu16/o4pOc54JRkm4C9yi5oojCUEDBa8Ka4s7mE6g6VQsCDwdXOBBCafOPiDP6JTjxAPyW0eHtZzhcJKG+800b7WSmV7RWU154i47MdHgaRI84hoA8mw5zuBet0l6EJrjNdjckp4Gj5lB0HYJ6kDE+TtfYWgOApU08HORJ2db2l7xGp8dCtrbQYnF1N4b1XwAt6YnFyPt6ZTIueOYY2xhgvyXs2wvTLAqBef0aRUeaAgeFGzUtVHEu7Svhl0SErfVsozVv6mxwZWgFM+qdfIfnAxbyXkpFy1+DLo4m8OTfGksKdY2OHyT8Q+nILGjk6FmELABwsnPIFcASw0SiApVyZQHfwqjmhbN6JsqiCaaGCDx7YLXZM5qlPfeoo94UejrebHm3Rob1gLGMEf15sRoNzf+BwQYX0PNrcZNm9sqttV9ZLoBZpNw0c8nSEDngkLzgK5M9XOEDO+LqJJV98RAM67fy7WSI/MZnjsbEFfEAbnkhdk3H8l9dPf0E7wRjg0KV0zHWyxE+8FfVFc3zXXlCnv5TOgml8dtCxNt/+5jB52qOPtpwmsOm29vEwvHLA4G3c9MnNjv5g00PzxprnxVd1+hkbvL1s3kD4mPygHS0CHrjGM7JBn7nhqa6nVfKCNtt2m9y1xzdzi5w4nL7HbjOK02kcNzGefuGnYyVgCcaj2/SSI+uaHpAheYEpKiNP9emZMnnlUtfkTUfTH2OnZ2Sa7MwB9pPumwPG4DBnd9GljOw9TYTjl37pl44TANe97nUH/urNNeOyMek6ujjZHHhHCT0JxBd20I2HMez4s9NS49Lt7F62Kx7oh47mJt1DJ7rQKspvBzj4tCYnXB/4sruOK+IjOcHLho9dfps/Nvo45YI+ZIBX2uOzoAy/lesP71km8MGTguvjFoYDjggxJh82EQSGsYRLoT3W5Fx6LGMCwYtQKIb8rBiHjetRjNdkzjA5bmExdH5OGX6IczBxxO3y2iRzio3nJqc7VpPRRMbnJgS57DXxgnW60+jPGNAD+mKCekHMG/WMG+OqjYlKp+jMNt76iE1cdAoMj50HZ/k4b5w4RtPY0V/b6G3OdL0LaXSVwj3+MZAWJosbx5CRtuuELm3wFM/kRcaQUWb0OVz43i4oJ83xBHDshNhpoWsMvJTuWCzxFb/lpYJxyMq4cAE32arXzrV6/QX0iPome7qvXjvtLVIWPzhrixY3HHaVPPplV+xmugFBm5sIbchZe3i4LnCGLHbGqx5txnJtbPMn3JU13yw+drd6vO5olxs7O8XRg04RfCE4wajdqDz3B60XdCArdLIDxsYzToDjWXboOQXmkzZopFPkh9/hanF1jMsTFbbJjRlH3HxiU9CG1sZBM51QHt1kArZrdGqDv8bQFw5kpI2QjmoPLl1SBkew9M+GZef0VZ+s0Gws/cgT/Jy8HBlfm2EfPWGz80dHtMEXcOi8seDo2lhS+GgHB/BdgwkH49JfRxDcKNJRjhQHEnw0x5cLWt6HCQ8ftnUWP9CGRjxhbz05MS99vYpDh994hFf6ZwfIxwuxHFY76PjJwaSnjnK4qQHbGOkoePSBjiizgzzLDT/IjowEY4LhOp2HA3zTH9dkrg1Y4Qlneqq/en2MTUfcvMFfGdurDXyMbc1ibzxRpA9sE3rcBDviQVfoFVvlKRK7+4xnPGMcsQGPbePUupFxfh1MdtkcpU/GYhvxBV7KpMrB1r75B0djqUOnGwh6rD9eKncNhrlt95oc9Uve+EFm1mU79XD2VJJj7gmsMcG56U1vOo5geUF1ljEegqkdmgvwAhvNgvEKcD1u4V0ccMgj4rAJSSkwlVL4VJPHtRZ1QiD0DGwClhKg9mdyQCNaKV30ehPfsQmKzABQfHwwKQTtaruXLMEr4i3nU0juggAAIABJREFUyi6Cc6h2sziiDJtJ0KTcC85h8R2NdIORwAeT0ORnYDxO8290/rUxPsBLXht0zrjHz3A3wekYuAyzM574YccPDEF/9eIctmHPdUeVT66l+EbGdn083bDIe4TOqNrRQ3v0mWPkbT6i3aLBKOKRBYKxpRP4w6jaQfFC5j3vec/x9MBCaiHAJ4bXDoxFRdAfTmQogAm28YylnA7rKy9qr76gDj1SOkEPwEGLxUF7MgcXDRZxuJJ53yO2Y0Zn8KFPIBo/4+9mAz8sXAX1YnqiHHxw8Uh7+Cpz1MT89ETAwsGxcqwOXhw27SxYMy+yYcoK2qGxOW2M0xHQgJ8C2umJHSoOgsf53jcR8JHeKMcHzgQ64MlWkBP6PPr2dM6jcPqAx/SGDpIHfUCvGzjOSjQrIwO4wEkILyn+c1bwRFv8kFcXn/AKPHWiPmDBF545dGC7Dm78V56c4cyZIzdn3zkInD42V1+B7M2HdEBfdfQSHvCRT2f1wScw4ayvOYePPaJ/1KMeNfqitSMHY7Bj/kMOIl4IrS34TD7mJWfMn6aZM9q1Q0t3HHvgvNl0cq7b2Xnfor/+9a8/4NEdsBxFIYc2ULqJxnOyYSfIHd/JgJ7Ai5zoh5C8yFCdQEfITpqOyYMFrnbJ3vj1AR9s4xubTuhjzlhv3JBLyRtO2rnm/3gaCye729ZkN8Tsi6dSNkK8xOtFaBsh5pl+9BP+xtHXONGJz+rCE87spzHh5Bq+tdGfnNhuuKkXmy/gspP4rh34YLnW17xI3+MVWAJ/wxNYcteXTXYD4UYMreDgI14bRyBj+CmDb7IYlcfgiGh4zulwwDEVUQLCEHlYAZNb/CghoXnb3F2tR38ebWpDqBYBeBIuwcL1TA+Uz4TAGwpO6bxVbbfauUGP2zIA2gmuyXBbQdXh3xzx3o0OeHZ6nKENBh7TjaPmM3rQEi7pDPr9QQsnwbEcxkagHyawfsKs0+m58lnPGXsLns8TOpPIgWII6qtt+QF0R37QM9MBLXxqTqsnR1958dUSL/+hz4LGqDLk2uKpdgx3+iTPQDOaFjLj6OORIueSQ+VYh110iyJd0p4e4hW4rvUDA9ycEylY+shrS8bprLZwd12QT8fhq5/+ytABf04/+bvmmJsz6OAwwsHOtF1a8nWu18veFmv2xVzjDAkWy1mfjIMmsNFjLMG1fo7M+ZMVj9Evf/nLj8fJHFmw0YEPdBI+9QMD3UepV43fnLLI3/KWtxy74B5b28HmmKMfP5PVIOLcuYUmiyjem0N47KshdMy7Fb6yA46++GC3nCzxDlz8JENl8vhVxCNl+rKB9CL9wnfXUrylT3gpCsaST6eN1xjRob8yUR4/wEGzoyF02xNH78V4+ZiewAm91iowXcNBmVQ0rnp0uJZqB3d59fLwYLsc3QHfURd8dDMHj+Me4gV6yQOfyVweP5Sbq+aJf83sM7I+P6re2uR7+OaVOWtuebJCv/CR3roxxEv2iHxyuvEvncBPvIZPcqCTdDoZkaU8WPAUyBSO+pAn3LWhJ1LX8nQHLqK8QG/pJXhsCVhwM47r9D7b6oYP/vSVrwOWnX0OtxsOTzA5vG5UfIXImep0RD86Cxew4aU/utHI9qEdDmjTD2522mceaQNfKRvIzjcnwY4X8ce1Ntqa78aFo3JjNXfxSl49OeEn3OiBmw1H9Kzjrh0duu1tbzs2jPDRuPCJX+HT3B3M3lrPK9v19ML3v//97485ooA48bCCSUEoAsWkFO0+cb49TvEyhRDjU5LDxHMgcEQ/yaTUgudO2Lkr58TwrAkRb0wAirsXj5K31KLmvCcjZ1ewiRmc+H5EpL+LXsIXPVL0eTzHWPTCKFoyrvCN/vg20xJfMpyMlrwXRtwA0j1HBujm3H+GcVQ82R43WirHH7RLGUb6YZeEQ2h31oJHvow244l2fMPT9Ma8ZMCVW6gsDnai8Fs5gy7PseV8O4fv2AIjrJwjZmEJnlQ/cMONHtPbrvUznjJ5UZ0oJAe4gyOiT58WosrRDL4bK3hY4KV26O2ckbGnSHZifIGBs6m9scDHO7KPl+FikTOeOnkwPYHx1M7Y+MsR9yQFHWBm1+BkgUFHeoUvya+xpNE7Mqfxx9jwRpMdtBZ353LpB+eGIwpPIXmhhQ7QneRGrzisznl6MiJ4wdCC6nG6pyLoRx++2QWnE2CDm3ylyV1bkUy0lddW0CbewQEcc1iZfPXqlIvyYnDBkReMATYHiF65GSNjN62OhtgUgj/ZSdEQLjN+4MFBO3qJv+qNi8/qwpGTgu/0hD2z0243E+5o0O44h5kG9M/8QlfOKP740ox56fvgbkL8qZqz3W748cWRVE66+UqW9JO98TTOOBw7Ac84y3Q0HZjrrRPqtZdXF57JpWsylE92zVtwyTmdDEYpPNRrR8acTbJHP9sIN3l0s63dILDH5oWbWGfCPUXSz3tZbCxH1c2HOQl3eHGi8YKuieGU82wsAS7wp99w0x+9YvTACQ3hTneV4Vc2lu7DW2gsfdS3jsJHOzYCfsYytnlFnnQe7p6amVuOzlij3FTYzLBhZDPA2PjjhoTMzUe4wLm1bSByrtzLH5f0yB1wQiFMExFjCR6TPVrhEDrv5W9/TRbC1l4kAH0I8UwO6MSTJgalc0drEjv7bGeG4ptk+Cjij0Bh9QOjqLy81Hkz/3bo0Z5F0kTEU6m+tR+ZI/gJV7KXN9HlBbjbTcMDk7wbN3Xpirw+2wGs6hgZNFtQGQyP9uyOchjssNc2GNvXlR9lOuNEX0SBQXTu2dMC88k1RxpPLAxoRrv+DKY5hR90RxnDaV7SO2XqGXbOltRC6TyiBdLuFIOqHxg5n/roCz65hBud1ZbOpm9wSWfhaGGqHj3auQbLGHCTp/P6wde1sQXwweSI0xF5dHsKIG+Be+ITnzjmj4UATPjiU4smeHAxNtzVod8ZTOdWOakWS3MIH8Bo7qC3hQsP4QvW3GYgOi0gxtAG7qc7oIls8MJL2E94whPGTqxz3PTfnHIDJmiLFrjjNznoi9dwRnP6xUFwdINDBa4z8PrneICnj3H1K6JbFNDfXA9PZTNv9ddeGXjp1wxDHVxFzkxOsDFqJ28MdWjkQFj0OXh2pm0EsY9oJ0epdnQkOUnxBczwNKYycAX8qr08fWVzPILnXOEbHdIGbWdCQCP68Rc/yEMefcrx2jXdcCTDTZsjY/TK8TZHEzydNXc4bmyMOjzCa/2sA+xR8JW3YSCv3Hh4Lm9ceOlLPgLdgQf8yFakz64F44n0rGswkhU4xqg9WGAoV0bObAt8smvy7AucfDnExpq54ste+viPCrbKDb3z8W423IDACx/Q07jw18ecNS646NQGLuGhnfHgrZ16ES6iejZSqj661YGjrTKwyUGKLrwAVzt4xGMp2elr3riGCx7gifmEp2RoZ996jl5+oI0wZ/3ZIDf2nhYZA376zgFOxy2c9xWUo0ScYMQUQJ5ARQuBt/CdvyNEjCeAFjLKQNgFdRl2AmmyqD+OAooudAroESmwLym4K3ZsxF0tfpk06hgW7dBcmXoGgmGyuHA+nLlyZtOjYpMN/wraHnVANzrgIqUb5M2Z8nKKxdEjc8YGDzIO2s56sR8d6Q/e5FgwKl4ocwaPwaNrjEUOPn7CZxf0ibzizSzrnD2OogWdM+SlQLqBT/64iDGz+M1zCZ/wAl8YSkEbixu9wVc3f/jhRtDOMsfEouHRsDOItddfO3KIv3DNQBsX/q4L8nBEC1mb79UbG176FMEGM6Nem+CoJ1eLQ7DMjXjGyDtjaTfccS7HJTzu1ZYeGE/bYNgIsBuFVjv/HAR5i4ObGXg0pvm0KwFfhHQWb0X04YfAzpKlL8b4VrAFLj7r12Irj7/4IpIjOGStfXNUezpiMwWsbnR6Ydd8wmf9tRX0D75UvTEEOmSeGws9YrKR0htj61deuWtzFs45VOBom37SD23hJG8sDoG+dNxmh91XTwoFcwCucAFXjJ/q6YCoPN7LVw6ucnjA1S6fz9CZm1721BZs7Xc5RBt69grxBI0Fcwl/6YT5J1Vvo8DxMHJQTw/ZdjeC7BldaJ6TozbGBU8fdfAxprbsFdjq4ic90MZ42oORDJu7+qfHzWFlxlEuRBe4YEnBhU9y1861PuZYuGqnTDSmdYyddvzRMRu0eteCXTEv0MF+d5NvntohRiO4nur1FKX5Ed7GMO4c4C7GK/jDueuZPuX6w1M7/DM/BGOjO97CR9vsCX41VuPBR0BX67Uy9eDob0x2VvTSs+NZ3kchS+8IODZonuqjPbyMpT9ZC/BUflBIXge1Od11Ywf8dA9ysvATgPYmBQZTLt94Jlx3RYw1wZmUlCKGaxvTUxqKciIhEOCuBwqaEYFrBgcfOM8ejdqJxA+KjRcMi2t98cNCo73U4uFLBx4T+ywa59ti447axNUeL+PtUfKHTogMS/I1cZyHY4QcE7FzgObknh6dzATTVqBfjHp0+zpBL4j4ckgGrUWR3mhrzKMM8BCjFX6uyZ/8nCnlXHq5yy4bnfBGOqNPjxhLeoEOvIge8OSbP4yf4NocNIYy+ga+XRnvEdA38MhDCo42+onNWbgZu8XPWOr0keoPP8FYcEuu5fVpEQYbvCIc3TQ0rvHkM/zh5EbUETe79x55csbNJwtefGyBAM9XTZyltyjakfI42CPjgvHhR5/gJ79LAU0CuYh4jc8cbo/4HaehJ3Cn39rHN7TVN3mhTx6Pmg/6kB/ZWijZbWd77WI64uXYkj4i+QXDtbGkyR8MoWvjwFufeKtN8jW2/q7lpWJjyIMF1+Cqg4dy44MnotcxFF9v8MK3F/6MDQY80uVwVpeugG184yiXD2f5uV5/YxnH3KRf2kbnaLzjP9E0oxn+peYE/ph76LUWmVPO/toIssnmRtY7TpxQDrgjlm7iPGWip/qCYTz5xk3G6YtreuA62btOBlIBHiJYyVM7cMXydAOsWZbqXTeWtiJ5isYAG1zt6AL7hg82dpTbYLTOsM/KXNsIuN71rjdu6NGsr/HtDBvLjrDgc6bKPd2Lp+FrbDwMx9Hh3J9oixf6xI/K6hc9UnxPn40rX7/qlOtbPXxdoxXt1lH58JQX0Ii/1nl6IUW7dRg/2Fk23Qu6nhR5P0udcY1h8wN881hfeWX4f1CA21GGnVgdMIEgY0bXhMTo+b6zu2NvzSpzt4ixlFzAdNE1IWK8awLbLxC4eBwCZS7IoxN9zms6u+r8FJ4oE/AoZcRLPMELbSirP5TwaMvOlEXXLrpgsaTQwokUdzQ6xB94m6z0BA882mbIcn7UMwizDp2MfGuTQUA3PuKrF4HsyLjZE/BRaIz6jsIj+tnGJf7gh+AFHjzyaA9dLXp4iFZ0C65F8DKqrgWwtKN3wY1f2nps7twe/tA7dRxbCwqZ0KmZV+Bqm6513fjRlHEFzzhS44twadGUrw18jbUNsz5zWzA9SbEoOObmmI4F0I2pJyt4hR58klrw7Mh5Kc+NjScLyrVz82rMxodbvBqFO/pDJ8wr3/DGN7YAX/DJDhTa3Wi5aXeD2uIZ/7VFd7JUjyfqBY4r3fP+gU+G4hM7w/EiZ3LTHx4WXHoBD6lr8LVLf1wbI5kYKz1Qblx8rx848sqM5brF3bizXsDXOODRCf0EN2j+DdPutzFyisARmjPpLbhidemtFPzq5cESzBM8qV99R+Ux/Ele6MLj0uaLNRqPHbVga329RN5TR7u5NobonKd2YLUBEO/oW7IEW16UF7UjP+3oFllJXQej9umHcdRLyVK9vFQ5uPWf5aONAK68VB/RGsU+5HCDCw80O+vv5VLrt3+dZXscf2Q7bTDRDbDC300I+6ONzSdzie01DrjhBwc06TvPBdfwBxdMuEVffANrmwaw4gc6mx9gR6tUm9qWNx/pvXJ58p/tAxhzDG844htdsP66EXZD5ittcPS0yBM1uKDJGMbMFsAnnRnC2eNH+6MOO+GA78WEBGgX22MHj4Yf9KAHjYnpkaDFoResCI1Q9SEIjGegKZmyOTZWZV3vctpiBkfK5loq2IVDM+XkZHukR3EZHHypvXJ883KH3QYvPLihsXtsIpqA2gsUfE7HxRH9wAs+TVLX8gK6RbSSZ/ijWR91Jwrx0WJAX/RhgATGjo7ZkdHO2OpNbm0sxkcd4FGEC97ghfmg3G6J3Vz8oAPo8bg7maOLsRPjBRpF/Myw6i+vDT65xg95u6du7pQFi+NltxMO2hmPnLQRgmUc+LrWVxvt9UNL9TOftVUvoNNc17axwDAH2A5p+Dau/tFjd81CxqG2KFoIOdoe99qJxC+PQX2i08t4bJBFE2/g6biNwKmEC/7AYxd0YyB2gp/4yC44kuQMLlmhA434yt6I6UQp0HbZOFP4II/3+uKxYEEUHOGwmDqi1AJO7mQnJSNPFcgCz8mOPpCTCE/twidnm80DL/lrSy5i+iTVX0x/1ReiM10DO7z18UQAfnB3bazazjSrg6MIpohv2iuDGzh0svmAX/DTxpMBNzn64Z8+xzHggyDFb4F+4EW7kmjzROQe97jHeOriZWifSSVPN8U2Daz73qvwvxQcTTwit+SDh2Lzu3HxDk/VxfdsgpQclJPhrGf6iOqzEWCKytBifGltyEpwrQ58EU6ienrv5ope+0wnW8HBtgazNd4v8BldLytrY07AjQ7qb90G0wvOxmaD4OdpFf1zowJv48+8wO9C9ERDdKhXF01oxRuxvDbxq/bqwNdPBEMb+BbneYI/cESHVHvt4KEOPNfoloaTOUFntLF+eVHXExMbJo7oOCoKHp8vW2xc8ARp+VGwYz874YDHpBglTZiYSSAmqreifbLGkQB3RRQZ47UlhCYBA+eaIm8Hbee4Xb+L19EHN4qJPxkPR0dMXmekvGTHoUjBTRDGigKD4cVCnzXiGDk2YGIzUowDmCaz9mAbZxcCGtBTYDAFTmSTVWoiF5rQXR+U6lvAI4HOmezO2Dua4K473VSfwanfrqVkhxaG37e+HTchY7Tip3KyZ7C0i25pbeiBtkUwi+jX1rU55oiBGxh99TNfHR3jUBk3JwufagOudo2J5/JkB346rky+2BynE6LrYjLSB2xjCfLgu5avnTq7SnZX6JPFT18vgYnOZHr8yTF42cteNnZcHNcyZyyO8LQR0G5p/DGGYDHc9YAO894TJbaE3NhP5ekHusyv7AqalKGPbRG1xT83YtIcG7ymb/iLl56UqKMT3STO8MDRHg74m5zljSmQkQA2PXK9rRf6hbN8OqWPqE86BxY4rpOhlLMAD+8EkCnnCc7whyM4swOoDTjmQLC1CbfggSnqqw94+kmVwU25vscthLNU7KbUusSmWq992cTa7WsYnor4CIAzz26+8M1NiBt4T3jplqMp+CPgpTy4eCRtzdJXnm5pkzzk94raFvWdY+2VsRtzBLeonTauhWTnWjkeoCc8fe+djB2d9MSNnfG0DV12vh2rUG88NyJuSMwJsNBlzhnTS6rPfe5zx4vgbKzycJXGp+aBa7jAS3+wzPEZ32jUX4yXg7Bzbbd5QffhBDa4YnMzGVU+88T45qSovrauzc/q0IIH7JJ1Cp7WEvOn/4ahNzZJ+D2+vsWu4AN7DjZawDGmUDoudujnyB3w/RiTYlAUzKSI/h2T0nqBzFkxjpFAeARGQPo1OROAMfYbZ4dksS8qlJtyCiYG421yyKPx9re//XhC4PNqXuAxkfGCIuIN5XTT4iiP8/TetGYI8QwcsPGYoRDiFV7uQkB/OKFZyBgx2gwKGprU2tTuRPhnOPELL/ALPAsEmB732RUV8KhQv66PMiWnWVZowK+OgNhpEuiNuYEu9OIhOopg6DfzG814CaZQG320c41fnFTtfDVCmbfWlesvNobUGGQFD0Y8ONUZSzndFrQXwW18/YMjL+onyoNZubyoDsyi8b07gQ9u6PGGAbfT5BjKXe961/EPmo4eeNfCcTiLATrB43jDAV/xE/5oLtCn4xDIx2LHpgrowDv04U1zKRm4Tlb4oQ26K8MbMNHPgeJIsDVuBPES/7UHT5Rne3JUXBtDmsylYCovui4aW1RnXDhJwwk9QnCDkWMkFY2jLbzQwb6wpzYtbP5oQz8E+gTOPDacjQuvcNcWPEHbGWf8UweWOmMW6tP1rqfhKy3C2TxzTb4+Get8s6dNPrvohpYjrg1dwQ/BUShlzj37Uyf2hD6K+IpP2oIpxdPGx0cyIKt0URt9laVX6qyD6a8+yQ4MsgVXWp22ta8+mYMdjvwVeePSn2hCi6OfdnE5kJ5Gt9aYI2w2OtyweK+GXQHLja35Q/fQ74kcZ97NDMfTOPrRXfUC3sAbfuGKrvRSisfNDX3qq11t8QlsMMBKt+NL5Y2jX0Ff1/DAn5n/YBqvsYKHliLHWz05ac92eBIFZxuyjuLYHPG1Mkdr2XN4sGfkpI+4q+H/ceqIMEwZMDnhJxSCtrgRgkCh7KJ4rE75fALMH4FQQjtRFNUuAqUiTDAJSqQIxV0WyLYY4IoOSiWk5PIUDI8EhozyeSTDmJv0eOfoDgfMBPbVE49u8AgvTIZ4HO/xKmeisjHAEf6YjOFCB/CEvBlpNAl4JAq1RcvJBLygL0J9wMBHemZ30CIBvrZSOMgfdUiXw9d19HMq0cWxsmOBntmgmy/1R0c0NV+UgSWila60+NBD7S0azg8zgsawg1ofO14MoXG1J8f4DF4wwTFnOd3aGl9UVju4GF9/ETxGHUw4KQtP/RhqtErBVVY0hjG1Nwd6LGy+GI+z5Xwhp5t98XlCfwzhc4vGsgOUrsFTGTziVzcP4O96YAvwAN14iEf4igaPtuVF/EYPvokFOqR/cpB2LeVIaMOZsLvHATefwMRvcPFPW+3EHBflorZkj+fSZK9OUA5318YXw1len/CWD5a++sz90yFt1NXvJje5yTim5N8YPSkQ1cM73oCnH1waQ134woX9QqO8cmPjs2NOjiV4r6Cg7rgHTjUesQOOPHryamf75S9/+XiRzk43XnCwOJJu1swpaz4+WuO14XjaDcUrvDWvpdqSEV6RnWtRUK9OeTJRrp6+qyMDefpeW9fa6KecvVDmunHkRe30MxadE42lTh/20RxDn//tcLYdjY41csC1RZuncNq7pv82AswPASw2nD11TEw5GG5i6Az4OfHZtvCno+EEd7iq085cR5/rxlEvCrU3vjL4gWXtRY/6YvQ3nnby+ha0UZbuK1cGhpQs6Io5QhfI2pMRwdE4Y6rHK/pBp3yi0tpDR/g++Ibn5hh8hWiKrlG4Iz87O8MJjmAoI2FSGMGOhJegnH3u+8Z233wGzYsylIMSewxqAaZcBFGchbGLAtnWCxNEwAMTDV8ocfygzBTRQue7xJTWC5Z2bb0p7E8NnJVyxtOjGnyg6JTZRGYg8QyvwTERKHkTeBufw75mJOAkxAu0M0i+j+pmzDX+oAveGZSTlS8+0BkBHAEv8MH5aY6lR1/gZnDKj8ZH+BOtGUkpWqT0H298No9RcwwArfSIzNXHo+jSTz6DKAVPpHd4ImZEPQYFh6NqLHwC07ylk+rAdM2owkNfERx6iOf0kqz1bewWR2VgVK49XMIHLHnl8NRumx7X6sDUnoFuDpCxBT18HOnyyTmLv0980jF5u07yHAEBbfCGG91k+MkDHuJxCGgW8IVzLEWPcvSgTyADtKETr8iqOJfN7emDhVLKbvt8mvcFOLFkQQbGIxv9wJcaS5RXJ2zXw1GdPmI6Untl8COH4Gsj6AsevGonX5m8NvpKwXH2lA77CsMVrnCF0Rfd6AjejMe2Ds66G4+1NxZ9Mm9e85rXDD2DI9jgHpcQb6VFuKMbLV5mR5+vCPkijvWZLaID2luH2AY2w/zEm+Y1x9OTNfO1MrDJNR0lB/IyHnhkKVWWjrlORvqqU5b+qptD8M1zbdKXdNF15eAI6RC82Fk6w2HkZHtCbSPsfve734DlvROOo7mmPx5o7wYfbqI6+qcf2OaTa23ZJF/NcfOmXTqLB+aoNnAsRns0ai+mm/iEj66l8U1eMC484aWfNRL9yo2hLnjBbO7FJ3DAE9UJ+sFNnHGVxws3FzaTwKQfeKCvemfEHYH0lJ/z7YVvZeEH9i6HnXXAZ6ZRLgwnII5DwrTry7mw+PsDCccF7Fp5o5rQ9NOWwhAWoRAIWCa/awFck0ygtAV9TiakQLWdhQ7ufD3nwa8vHEyw7QB3QTv5+pscTXZ0guVlIS8OesxlJ8WOuJ0G/8xnB0obE7MJBVZ3iuWlYpNjG5/DvkYn


Question: such as not enough sleep

Response: 0


Question: Whenever I have to speak in public or be in big crowds, I freak out. I get light-headed, sweaty, and I have trouble breathing.

Response:
Basically, your response is the fight, flight or freeze reaction
which is hard wired into the human nervous system, specifically, the autonomic nervous system (called the autonomic response).  This system
is responsible for regulating the heart, digestion, respiratory rate
as well as other aspects which match the symptoms you describe.  It is largely an unconscious function, but
with training it can be managed such as a public speaking course in which you
prepare and even have some exposure to smaller experiences to help you prepare
and cope for larger presentations.  One of the greatest applications of
addressing this response is the NASA program which exposes the astronauts to situations
they will encounter while in space which will trigger the response so that when
it does happen (not if but when) that they are able to move through the
challenge with success.  You can learn
more about his by going to TED Talks What I learned about going blind in space It is
a truly inspiring look at what you are experiencing as well as how to deal with
it.
With that being said, finding a program
like a Dale Carnegie Public Speaking program can help.  Working with a counselor who can help you
utilize visualization of an upcoming speech has been shown to help and you can
always talk to your doctor to see what options might be available there as
well. Good luck!


Question: Weve been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he does not love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Response: You can't fix this by yourself, but I applaud you for trying. One person working hard in a relationship can make things better for a while., but in the long haul you need two people giving some effort. I'm reading between your lines here and I wonder if your need to keep the family together is getting you to apologize when you've done nothing wrong and ignore things you've felt hurt by. I sense that you're doing all the work...that it's not balanced. I have worked with many couples and I've learned never to underestimate what kind of change is possible; anything is possible. But in order for change in a couple to occur, you need two people who are both willing to own their choices and behaviours, and who have empathy. Your boyfriend doesn't appear to have these components; he pushes you away and blames you when he's done something hurtful.Can you be honest with yourself about what's happening? I encourage you to sit down with a trusted friend or therapist and look at what you have here and what your options are. I wish you well.


Question: I started dating my fiancee two years ago. My first cousin is married to my fiancees sister. There has always been a communication issue between my uncle and aunt and my cousin and his wife. My uncle goes to my mom instead of talking to my cousin, and it upsets my mom.

Response: When you're upset about something, the first question you can ask yourself is "Whose problem is this?" It is amazing how many problems will disappear right at that point, because you realize the problem isn't even yours. You can't fix everything in your family. You are starting a new family of your own, and it's time to create a protective bubble around your family unit that keeps other people's issues away. I tell myself "Not my pig, not my farm, not my problem." When you stop trying to take care of other people's problems, they are more likely to step up and deal with it themselves. :)


Question: I believe it is wrong for men to look at inappropriate content. The father of my child has agreed to respect my beliefs. His co-worker sent him an inappropriate video. He got mad because he does not think he should tell his friend to not send him things like that.

Response: It sounds like you are wanting to protect your child from degrading images and that is one of the important parts of the job of a parent. Although it is challenging to supply an answer without knowing the full situation, it might be helpful to have a more broad discussion about what you both think about the influences and images that your child is exposed to and what you think your role is in protecting your child. This situation is one about beliefs and values and could well be an example you can use for exploring your parenting roles in protecting your child.


Question: I am married, but I had sex with my friend. I feel guilty, but I feel not guilty too. Do I need to feel guilty? It's my body, and I have full rights to do what I like.

Response: Yes, of course, it's your body and you can do what you feel like doing.Do you feel a commitment to your partner?Your guilt probably is pointing out the feeling of having done with your body what your spirit tells you is a violation of the commitment you feel toward your partner.The good news is that this is a moment for you to examine how strong your commitment is to your partner.Find balance between satisfying your freedom to do as you please, with your sense of being a partner, which means prioritizing the partner once in a while.


Question: I've been with him for a couple months. We will talk everyday and he will get mad over something I will say and not talk to me. We have our great moments, but I just need to focus on my personal situations, and I feel he is slowing me down with that. I still wanna be with him, but not now.

Response: Why don't you just tell him everything that you just wrote here?You're clear in your mind as to what you would like.Unless you have a whole either side to the way you feel, everything you wrote here explains your position very well.Good luck in having your conversation!


Question: I am married, but I had sex with my friend. I feel guilty, but I feel not guilty too. Do I need to feel guilty? It's my body, and I have full rights to do what I like.

Response: My questions to you would be:  Why did you get married?  Would it bother you if your spouse did the same to you?


Question: I am a female, and I am afraid of having sex. I am afraid of disappointing my partner by being inexperienced. I think he thinks I'm not a virgin. I am also scared that he will be disappointed with my naked body. I don't want my partner to think differently of me because I am afraid of having sex.

Response: The greatest sex experience will be with someone who you feel connected to outside the bed.  This is something that you should feel comfortable in talking with your partner about.  The relationship needs to be strong before moving to the bed anyways. If the love is there, he will understand your fears and make you feel comfortable making it a great experience.


Question: I saw my mother cheating on my dad before. I said something to her, and she said it was in the past. Yesterday, I saw her texting dirty things to the same guy. Should I talk to her again? I don't want my parents to go their separate ways, I just want her to stop. it's not fair.

Response: You as the child in the middle of your parents' problems is the worse position to be in.  I can only imagine your hurt, pain and confusion on what to do.  Honestly, this is a hard question to answer without knowing your age, your parents' ability to handle hearing information from you and your maturity to handle what may happen in the end.  One thing I would like to note....your parents may be in the same house but if your mother is cheating, they have already gone their separate ways.


Question: I've been with him for a couple months. We will talk everyday and he will get mad over something I will say and not talk to me. We have our great moments, but I just need to focus on my personal situations, and I feel he is slowing me down with that. I still wanna be with him, but not now.

Response: I have learned that the best approach is to say that you need the time to get yourself together, mature, learn, outside of a intimate relationship but just in a friend to friend relationship...don't blame him or point fingers at him.... most likely if you did that it would not go well.  If you make it about you and that you want the best for him while you work on self, it would be taken better.


Question: I just need to know if I'm really crazy or not.

Response: Do an internet research on psychosis symptoms and see if you have several of the symptoms.  If you do, seek a medical evaluation from your primary care physician.  There are great medications and psychotherapy that can help you live your life to the fullest.  There a many people who are diagnosed with psychosis and living a productive life.


Question: My dad passed away when I was a teenager. I never got any help, and five years later, I feel like I can't handle it anymore.

Response: It's never to late to get help with grief.  Get help as soon as possible before you are feeling the same way 5 years from now.  You will always miss your Dad but getting help with coping with his loss will make life easier to live.


Question: I get angry and act out. It scares my wife and child.

Response: Yes you can..  If you cannot control your temper, who can?  You have more power of your emotions, thoughts and feeling than you are giving yourself credit for.  If this is scaring your wife and child, you need to get control of it immediately.  Try going to an anger management class.  It will help to discover what is the root cause of your anger, what triggers it and how you can control/manage it.  If you can't go to a class, try self help books or even better yet counseling and support of a professional counselor.


Question: We're not together, but I'm still doing things for him and we are intimate. Hes not there for his son.

Response: You didn't ask a direct question because I feel from what you wrote you already know the answer.  I hate to sound harsh but I am a therapist that call it how I see it so brace yourself...You will always continue to have problems with letting your child's father go as long as you:Don't love or respect yourself first...Don't love and respect your son...Don't demand respect as a woman and mother...Give up the goods regardless of what he does for you or your son...Don't hold your son as a priority in your life....Have self worth of a $1, etc.I have a feeling you are saying...I do love my son and hold him as a priority even if you don't do it for yourself...I would ask...Are your actions of allowing such disrespect from his father proof of that?I know what I have said may have gotten under your skin...I want it to.... because I feel that you have a conscience, want to do better, know you and your son deserve better and you can do better.  Believe in yourself and that you and your son DO desire better and it starts with you setting boundaries with his father.  You can do  it!!!


Question: When I'm around people, I sometimes think someone has made a comment to me or asked me to do something. I will be focusing on something else and then randomly think I hear something about me. I never know if it was actually said.

Response: It sounds like you are having difficulty knowing if people are saying things to you, or if you only thought someone was talking to you, and this is anxiety producing. It's understandable that it could be confusing and/or a bit scary to be unsure if people are speaking to you or not. It's hard to say exactly what is going on from just this description, but if you can work with a competent therapist, you may be able to get more insight into what is happening, get clarity about your social interactions, and develop some ways to deal with the anxiety.


Question: My husband told me last year he never loved me and should have never married me. He's been talking about divorce, but he hasn't filed. Now he has a girlfriend and he abandoned me and his kids. He has no financial help, and he has been out of the home for four months. He became very angry and mean. He says it's all my fault, and that we're not compatible.

Response: It's hard to say that it is a midlife crisis stage..  could be... but so much more seems to be going on or have been going on to say with confidence that it is not much more.


Question: I work two jobs and go to school for criminal justice. Over the summer, my father had a stroke. It was very devastating. My father isn't the same, and my family fights every day. I have been kicked out the house many times. I break down a lot.

Response: You undoubtedly are carrying a huge weight on your shoulders. Stressors come in many forms and you are engulfed in a few of the major ones as it relates to dealing with the declining health of your father, family conflict, as well as trying to balance a work and school schedule. Stress, if left unchecked has many negative health related implications. First and foremost I would recommend going to see a counselor at your college/university. Most colleges have counseling centers for students that usually allow for 5-6 free counseling sessions (your tuition actually pay for these sessions so take advantage of them). Secondly I would advise you to take a minute and breathe. When confronted with overwhelming life issues it is common to busy ourselves in an attempt to distract ourselves from the drama, but sometimes that can compound our stress. When dealing with stress it is important that you engage in self care. In other words find time to engage in activities that bring you a sense of peace, enjoyment, and fulfillment in order that you may get a momentary release from your daily hectic life. Even with a normal life there is no way to escape stress, it is inevitable and a part of life, but how you deal with stress, as well as how you take care of yourself in the midst of these whirlwind events will determine your quality of life. I hope this helps...


Question: I am a female, and I am afraid of having sex. I am afraid of disappointing my partner by being inexperienced. I think he thinks I'm not a virgin. I am also scared that he will be disappointed with my naked body. I don't want my partner to think differently of me because I am afraid of having sex.

Response: As hard as it may be to do this, since all the media and marketing of how an ideal person looks and performs sexually, surrounds us, keep in mind that the images presented in order to sell movies and almost any product, is meant to trigger fantasies.No one is a fantasy, we are all real and unique.  We can be influenced to believe that being a fantasy is better than being who each of us is, genuinely.Your partner may be much more accepting of your body and your level of sexual experience, than you are of yourself!Sex within a relationship means the two people want to have with the other one, not because they have ideal bodies and expertise, but because the person wants to make love to the one whom they love.When you are in a loving relationship, part of this includes talking about sensitivities and insecurities.  Having a conversation gives the chance to know that you are accepted for who you are, not how closely you resemble a made up idea meant to persuade people to buy items.


Question: I get so much anxiety, and I Don't know why. I feel like I can't do anything by myself because I'm scared of the outcomes.

Response: Anxiety is simply your system communicating to you that you are in danger. The issue that I see in most of my clients is that they try to reason with this anxiety. You do not reason with sensory states in the body. If your system tells your in danger (your stomache feels like it is knots, your heart is beating out of your chest,) validate by just being present with it. Take your breath to it. Breath in and out of that space. Say ok, I am in danger. I always tell my clients, "a crying baby wants to be held, not told to shut up." Listen to your system, validate it like you do a child and see what happens.


Question: I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am.

Response: Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways. At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of "finding yourself," is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness.  The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.


Question: I am married, but I had sex with my friend. I feel guilty, but I feel not guilty too. Do I need to feel guilty? It's my body, and I have full rights to do what I like.

Response: I don't think there's anything that you're supposed to feel. Some people feel tremendously guilty when they cheat, and others not at all. It could be that your partner doesn't know about the cheating and you haven't had to face his/her emotions and reactions. When something we do is hidden...a secret...it's easier to avoid feeling guilty. I wonder if you're avoiding your own emotions. But let's put that question aside for now. There are better questions.What do you want? Do you want your marriage? If not, this may be why you don't feel guilty. Do you want to be able to sleep with your friend? It's unlikely that both are possible (keeping the marriage and the affair). Yes, you get to do whatever you want with your body...and...there may be consequences. Affairs almost always get discovered. Who do you want to be? What kind of partner do you want to be? What might your partner feel if they knew? How might you feel then? Would you care? Has something happened that's affected how much you care about your partner?I suggest that these other questions might be a place to start. Exploring it with a therapist is something to consider maybe. I wish you the best as you sort it out. :)


Question: I've been with him for a couple months. We will talk everyday and he will get mad over something I will say and not talk to me. We have our great moments, but I just need to focus on my personal situations, and I feel he is slowing me down with that. I still wanna be with him, but not now.

Response: It sounds like you're pulling away instead of being honest. If you really want to be with him, why not now? If you don't have time for a relationship, why are you dating at all?I don't understand the whole "phasing out" thing that people do these days (or "ghosting", where you just stop talking and disappear!). I get the sense that this relationship isn't working for you, but for some reason you're stopping yourself from being honest with yourself and him and just ending it. In the early stage of a relationship (the first year), if it doesn't feel fabulous, it's a good idea to move on. It's not personal. You don't owe this person anything. They deserve someone who's totally into them (and so do you) and you're doing him no favors by hanging on to something that's not amazing or giving him hope that it might work better in the future sometime. You don't have to slowly bow out. It actually creates more hurt than gentle honesty. Maybe people don't know how to say it?"I've decided not to continue with this. I wish you the best." Life is too short!


Question: I am a female, and I am afraid of having sex. I am afraid of disappointing my partner by being inexperienced. I think he thinks I'm not a virgin. I am also scared that he will be disappointed with my naked body. I don't want my partner to think differently of me because I am afraid of having sex.

Response: These fears are completely normal. Almost everyone has the same fears you do, to some degree, especially if they lack experience. Men also feel far more of these fears than you realize. That can help...to remember that we're all a little scared and looking for safety and approval.You mention a partner, but I'm not sure if you currently have one. Having a partner you can trust with your fears and who you feel safe with is so important. When you're really confident someone cares deeply for you, this can help the fears to go away or diminish. How well do you know your own body? Getting to know how you like to be touched and how different touches feel...getting acquainted with your body yourself first...this can help build sexual confidence. In general, our partners care less about our fat and wrinkles than they care about how we make them feel in bed. Being a generous lover who is confident enough to put fear aside...ironically this is what makes you "good in bed". But be patient with yourself. Your confidence will grow with experience, and that doesn't have to happen until you are ready. There's not rush. :)


Question: I get angry and act out. It scares my wife and child.

Response: Anger is a normal emotion, no different than joy, elation, or sadness. It's not anger that gets us in trouble it's the overtness of the emotion or how we allow it to manifest that gets us in trouble. Being able to control your temper depends on several variables: how you saw anger acted out as a child in terms of your primary caregivers and what you internalized as being normal in terms of managing conflict, and your communication style regarding how you confront problematic situations. There are some whose anger takes on a volcano effect whereby they don't readily address problematic situations but rather they continue to stuff their emotion until the right trigger causes them them to explode, and then there are those who are very impulsive in terms of how they react to stressful situations, they don't take time to think out situations or to make sense of them, they just impulsively respond. I would encourage you to seek anger management from a therapist who utilizes a Cognitive Behavioral approach in order that you may explore how your irrational thinking related to certain situations may be influencing your problematic behavior. In addition, I would encourage you to engage in activities that promote stress reduction if your blowups are indeed related to being overly stressed. The first step is recognizing that you have a problem that you need help in understanding and addressing, which you have, now take the next step in finding a therapist in order that you may learn to control your temper and undo some faulty wiring that may be related to how you process emotion, and communicate that you're angry. Remember, anger is the overt expression of some other emotion (i.e., disappointment, hurt, frustration, etc..) Hope this helps...


Question: He isn't violent, but he has anger issues and deep insecurities. He's working on them and has improved. We started counseling, and he participated in one or two individual sessions, but we broke up again shortly thereafter. Now his constant questions and accusations are getting really draining.

Response: Hello and thank you for your question. I worked for a number of years with people who have been both abused in their relationships and those who have been abusive. Being involved in a relationship with a partner who does the behaviors you describe can be incredibly difficult, and many would argue is even harder than overcoming actual physical violence. I was a little confused about whether you're are still broken up with this person or if you are still thinking about it. I am going to assume you are still undecided. Some of the things you are describing sound like emotional abuse. Even without physical abuse, being emotionally abused can still be traumatizing. When partners question and accuse, they are often trying to exercise power and control over their partners by hurting them with unfounded accusations.  The accusations serve to make someone feel guilty and to manipulate them. For example, if your partner accuses you of cheating when you go out bowling with friends, you may elect not to go bowling just to satisfy your partner and prevent a fight from occurring. The person being accused or questioned often tries to prove over and over again that they have done nothing wrong, but it doesn't matter. And that brings me to the point of what some people who experience these behaviors do in order to start feeling like they have some power again. Here are just a few things:1. They realize there is no right answer. Trying to be logical with someone who doesn't want to be logical doesn't work. Many people simply stop trying to defend themselves against false accusations because there was no answer that would satisfy their partner anyway. In addition, the rules of the relationship seem to change on a daily basis, and what may be okay with your partner one day may make them angry the next. And this can leave people constantly feeling like they are on eggshells.  2. The find support. Finding a support group or a group of people who remind you on a daily basis that you are a decent person is always a good idea. One of the things that can happen when we are with someone who does emotionally abusive things is begin to have a negative concept of ourselves. Surrounding yourself with people who remind you that you are a good person is a great idea. 3. They reinvest in themselves. Try to find some time for yourself. This couldn't possibly sound more cliche, but it is actually true. Whether that is taking up a new hobby or doing an old one. One thing that can happen when emotional abuse takes place in a relationship is the person being abused can begin to isolate and not do the things that make them enjoy life. Taking some time for the self can sometimes bring things into perspective.I don't know if you are still in counseling, but if you are and you are getting what you need then that is great. If not, there are others you can try. It's important to find the right fit. As for the question of whether or not you should leave your partner, that is a question that can only be answered by you. But you could ask yourself some questions  like these to help you decide:1. What are some of my values about relationships? Do I want Trust? Honesty? Ask yourself if you have these things in your relationship.2. Do I feel like this relationship brings out the best in me, or does it seem to bring me down?3. If I want to stay in this relationship, what are some specific things that need to change? Hope some of these suggestions help. Good luck to you. Be well.Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC


Question: I think I have depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and I have anger issues. I told my mom over and over again. She told me she would get me a therapist, but she never did. I just found out that my mom can't afford a therapist for me.

Response: It can be difficult to get counseling if you don't feel supported by family members.  There might be a few options.  If you are in school, I'd recommend talking to a school counselor or school nurse.  They often will be able to help you access free or affordable counseling resources in your community.  In addition, depending on where you live, it's also often possible to call 211 for referrals to free or low cost counseling services in your area.I'd encourage you not to give up. You are on the right track.


Question:
I have a relative who is in his twenties. He was in a drug rehabilitation program and got kicked out for using drugs again. No one informed family that he was using drugs again. He subsequently overdosed and was found dead.
Is their accountability of counselors, therapists or the halfway house for not reporting that he had relapsed? Is there a legal case for failing to report?

Response: I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  This sounds like a really difficult situation for the whole family.  Since the answer to this question will depend a lot on the applicable state laws, I would suggest talking with a local attorney.  That being said, I see two competing issues here.  On the one side is the duty of confidentiality the counselors owed to your relative.  On the other side is the duty the counselors had to act reasonably to protect your relative from harm.  Generally there is not a requiremt for substance abuse treatment centers to notify family members if an adult client relapses.A local attorney will be able to provide more specific guidance on the legal obligtions and liabilities in this situation.


Question: My friend is abusing her prescription medicine. Even though she told me she didn't have any more pills, I found she has prescriptions for anxiety medications.

Response: Hello! Thank you for your question. I have a worked with many people who have become addicted to benzodiazepines, like Clonazepam. It is a difficult road for people who are trying to become clean. It is also a very difficult road for those who love the person and are trying to be supportive. During those times, it is important to remember to take care of yourself, too. As for taking your friend's pills, my concern would be the legal ramifications that you could face should you ever be caught with someone else's prescription medication, and especially these types of medications. Our laws have become much more strict surrounding prescription drug sales and possession due to the increase in prescription drug abuse. In addition, people who are in active addiction are likely to find some other means to get their drug, so it would do little to help the overall problem. I don't know about your friend's family situation, but they may be a better route to take if you are concerned about your friend. They may already be involved, but with your help you may be able to convince your friend to go to treatment willingly. That is usually better. In many states, there are also involuntary committal processes where a person's family may be able to convince a court to force the person into treatment. This varies from state to state. If your friend's family is not aware of this option, it may be something to look into. It usually does take a relative, or a medical provider, to begin this process if it is available. I hope this was helpful, and I wish you and your friend well.


Question: I'm concerned about my boyfriend. I suffer from anxiety, but I always have this feeling he wants to hurt me because he told me he was interested in BDSM intercourse. We haven't tried it, but I've had this feeling he always wants to.

Response:
Hello! Thank you for your question. There are few things
that people find more personal than their sexual relationships. When we feel
connected to our partner, sex can be best thing since sliced bread. However, if
we feel disconnected in some way, sex can feel degrading and even painful.
I Don't know the specifics about your relationship or how
comfortable you are in talking to your boyfriend, but this is one of those
situations where communicating your fears is a good idea. The only exception to
that would be if you believe he is actually a threat to you in some way. If you
believe that, then you should do whatever you think is safe. It sounds like
there is a part of you that is already afraid of him, and if that is the case
then remaining safe is your top priority.
Assuming you are able to share with him your feelings,
telling him what you are and are not interested in sexually is very appropriate
and sexually healthy. Sex is something that is supposed to be enjoyable for
all parties. All parties should feel respected and able to say no to
absolutely anything they are not comfortable with.
I call the respectful agreement between sexual partners, sex
trust. Sex Trust means your partner respects your boundaries. It means they
won't degrade you sexually with hurtful words, forced sex, or forcing or
coercing sex in ways someone is not interested in having.  Your personal safety and mental well-being is
what is most important.
Now, if there is a part of you that is curious about BDSM
and may be interested in participating in it, there are many websites that you
can explore to learn information. I will warn you, some websites and articles
are better or worse than others, but you may at least feel more informed.
Many people engage in BDSM and have happy relationships, but
again, it completely depends on what each person in the relationship wants. It is
also important to know that BDSM is not just one thing and people practice it
differently based on comfort. If it is something you are uncomfortable with,
then you shouldnt feel obligated to do it.

I hope this was helpful. Be well.


Question: He isn't violent, but he has anger issues and deep insecurities. He's working on them and has improved. We started counseling, and he participated in one or two individual sessions, but we broke up again shortly thereafter. Now his constant questions and accusations are getting really draining.

Response: Sometimes relationships just do not work.  Don't feel that the first, second, or even third relationship is the relationship you are suppose to be in for life.   The one that is meant for you will require work but should be be draining and a constant roller coaster of breaking up.  It is good you all went to counseling, but one or two sessions may not be enough to make and see a change in behavior.  It takes times and it takes both working toward the same goal.  I would suggest doing you...meaning focusing on your own growth at the time.  If he wants to grow with you, he will make the necessary steps.  If he doesn't...wish him well.


Question: I have had a crush on this guy for years. I last talked to him a few years ago when we graduated from high school. We left off on a good note. Should I message him and see how he is doing, or is it too late?

Response: It's never to late to let a person know how you feel.  You never know where it will take you.  You don't want to hold this regret of not letting your feelings known and wondering "what if" for the rest of your life.   That can be torturous.   Now prepare for whatever..if his feelings are the same or if they are not.  If they are the same...great.  If they are not, feel good that at least you let a person know they hold a special place in your life and wish him love, peace and happiness in his life.


Question: I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.

Response: Take one day at a time!!!  Each day do things that make you happy, moves to a positive place, focusing on the future, give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.  Journal at the end of the day of how well you did that day in focusing on these things.  Each day should be a step better than the previous day.  You will have days that you didn't do as well....that is human and OK.  Just get back on track the next day....At the end of the week, review how well you did and give your self a grade.  If did well, you deserve ice cream, etc.  If not so good, OK....tell yourself next week "got to focus one day at a time".  You can do it....it takes practice but will get better each day,  I wish you happy days and happy future...


Question: I love him, but he does not show me love. He talks badly about me to his friends.

Response: So many questions comes to mind when I read your words...Do you love yourself?  What do you LOVE about him?  What are you getting from this relationship that is good for you?  What are you lacking in yourself that you allow yourself to be treated this way?....I can go on..If you can answer these questions, maybe you will answer your own question of WHY are you with your husband or even better, WHY you ALLOW your husband to be mean, show no love, disrespect you?  You seem to lack self-worth...seek a professional to help you with this.