He expresses sadness at having left his family and notes that he is still trying to figure out when and why things began to go wrong for him, but the memories still are unpleasant to contemplate.
Han udtrykker sorg over at have forladt sin familie og noterer, at han stadig prøver at finde ud af, hvornår og hvorfor tingene begyndte at gå galt for ham, men at minderne stadig er ubehagelige at tænke på.