But if I had done that, if I had given up writing, I would have lost my beloved vocation, so I knew that the task was that I had to find some way to gin up the inspiration to write the next book regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.
Mas se tivesse desistido de escrever, teria perdido a minha querida vocação. Então percebi que tinha que descobrir algum modo de ganhar inspiração para escrever o próximo livro, independentemente do inevitável  resultado negativo.