Rarity: Perfect!  

(door opens, bell rings)  

Rarity: (singsong) Coming!  

Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique!  

(shocked gasp)  

(gushing, shrieking) Sapphire Shores! The Pony of Pop!  

Sapphire Shores: (theatrical tone) Good afternoon, Miss Ra-ri-tee!  

Rarity: (stammering) You, yuh...y-y-you know my name?!  

Sapphire Shores: Well, of course I do, darling.   

I make it a point to know all of the up-and-coming 

 designers, and Clothes Horse Magazine simply RAVED about you!   

Rarity: Oh my stars...If I'm dreaming, do NOT wake me up!   

How may I help you, Miss (voice breaking) Shores?   

Sapphire Shores: Oh please, call me Sapphire.   

Rarity: (giggles) How may I help you, SAPPHIRE?   

Sapphire Shores: Well, as I'm sure you know, I'll be 

 touring all of Equestria with my latest concert,   

"Sapphire Shores' Zigfilly Follies," so I need to look (hamming) SEEENSAATIONAL! OW!   

Rarity: I have just what you need!   

Sapphire Shores, prepare yourself for the piece de résistance de la haute couture!   

(harp flourish)   

I used every last diamond I found on this one garment!   

Sapphire Shores: (gasps) And it is SPECTACULAR! I'll take it.   

Rarity: Really?   

Sapphire Shores: Oh, yes, and five more, each done up in a different jewel.   

Rarity: (dumbstruck) Beg pardon?   

Sapphire Shores: Costume changes.   

(Rarity faints theatrically)   

(chuckles, smugly) Yes, I do have that effect on ponies.   

(theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah,   

(My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be   

(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me   

Rainbow Dash: Big adventure

Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun   

Rarity: A beautiful heart

Applejack: Faithful and strong   

Fluttershy: Sharing kindness

Twilight: It's an easy feat   

All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah   

(My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends   

Spike: (gushing) Oh my gosh, Sapphire Shores! The Pony of Pop!   

She is AWESOME! I mean, she's gorgeous, and talented, and, heh...   

(sheepishly) ...and not even half the pony you are.   

(sucking up) I mean, you're ten times more gorgeous, and talented, and...   

Rarity: (strained) Spike, a lady is NEVER jealous.   

Spike: Er, uh, of course not. But were you TOTALLY flipping out or what?!   

I need to find more jewels than ever before to decorate her costume.   

Ooh, ooh...AHA!   

Spike: Did you find some?   

Rarity: Yes, Spike! Right there!   

(Spike digging)   

Spike: Oooooh! (licks lips noisily)   

(entranced) You look so...delicious! (drools)   

Rarity: (admonishing) Spike!   

I promised I'd give you gems to snack on,   

but we need to collect more first or I'll never 

 be able to make these outfits for Sapphire.   

(Spike sighs heavily)   

Spike: I will miss you, my sweets.   

Rarity: Come along, Spike. We have many jewels to find.   

Spike: At your service, milady.   

Rarity: Spike!   

(jackhammer pounding dirt)   

(Spike shudders happily)   

(Spike slurping and drooling noisily)   

Rarity: You've been very patient today, Spike. And 

 for that, you get the finest reward.   

This is from me to you.   

Is something wrong, Spike?   

Spike: No. It's perfect.   

Rarity: Ooh! Bring the cart, Spike! There are more over here!   

Spike: For me...from Rarity.

(Spike's heart beats loudly, pigeon cooing)   

Diamond dog leader: (lisping a la LotR's Gollum) Yesss, gemsss. Gemsss! Our preciousss gemsss!   

He is the gem hunter. With him, we 

 can have all those gems, and more!   

Let's get the dragon.   

Rarity: (singsong) Spike? Where are you?

Leader: What?! Who is that?   

Rarity: You know, it's terrible to keep a lady waiting.   

Spike: Coming!   

Rarity: I think we're REALLY going to strike gold this time...so to speak. (giggles)   

Spike: JACKPOT!   

Leader: Oh, it's not the DRAGON we want. It's the PONY!   

Diamond dogs: The pony...   

Rarity: Well, Spike, I think that's all we can do for today.   

And these will get me well on my way with Sapphire's outfits.   

Why don't we start headi-oh! What's this? Another jewel!   

Oh, strange. It's in the trees.   

(entranced) Ohhh... (startled) EWW!   

(stumbling over words) Er, uh...good day, gentle, uh, fellow.   

I am Rarity, and this is my friend Spike.   

(Spike chuckles nervously)   

Rarity: And you are...?   

Leader: A diamond dog.   

Rarity: (stalling) Oh, really? Oh, well, that explains your fine taste in jewelry.   

(trembling) I mean, I-I know diamonds are a girl's best friend, and 

 now I know they're a dog's best friend, too. (giggles nervously)   

So, um. (clears throat nervously) You out hunting for gems as well?   

Leader: Yes, we hunt.   

Rarity: Er, "we?"   

Leader: We hunt for gems, but YOU are a better hunter.   

(dirt shifting)

So now we hunt...FOR YOU.   

(dogs burst out of ground)   

(Rarity shrieks, paw swipes air)   

(jackhammer pounding, diamond dog yelps)   

Spike: Run, Rarity! Run!   

(Spike yelps)    

(diamond dogs yell, crash into ground in turn)    

Rarity: Spike! Come on! Hurry!    

Leader: Gotcha!

Rarity: (shrill scream) SPIKE!    

Spike: (straining) I got 'im, Rarity! I got 'im!    

Big dog: (derisive laugh) Nope!    

Small dog: Sorry, scaly one!    

Spike: Wait! Rarity...?    

Rarity: Unhand me this instant, you ruffians!    

Stop! Put me down, you scum! You rough- (trails off)    

Spike: (gasps) Rarity!    

Rarity: Spike! (repulsed scream) Dirt! (screams) SPIKE!    

Spike: Which, what, where?!    

Rarity: (echoing) SAVE MEEEE!    

Spike: NOOOOOOOOO!    

(Spike hyperventilating into paper bag)

Twilight: Spike! Can you breathe now?    

Spike: (hyperventilates) ...Yes, (inhales sharply) I think so.    

Twilight: Good. Now, tell us what you know.    

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, 'cuz all you said earlier was:    

Spike: (in flashback, rapid, panicky speech) AAAAH! Rarity, 

 woods, jewels, dogs, hole, taken, SAVE HER!    

Applejack: Not a whole lot t'go on there, Sport.    

Spike: Sorry. Rarity and I were in the woods looking 

 for jewels when these creepy guys showed up.    

Twilight: "Creepy guys?"    

Spike: They called themselves, the "diamond dogs."    

They grabbed Rarity and disappeared down a hole in the ground!    

Applejack: Well, that sounds mighty easy.    

Just take us to that there hole and we'll save Rarity!    

(ponies gasp in turn)    

Pinkie Pie: Holy moly, that's a lotta holeys.    

Twilight: Come on, girls! Let's get started.    

(echoing) Hello...?    

(low growl)    

(Twilight gasps, gags, spits)    

(Rainbow Dash grunts)    

(Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Spike gasp in turn)    

(holes filling with dirt)    

Twilight: Quick! We gotta get down one before they're all filled up!    

Fluttershy: (as holes fill up) Oh! Oh my. Oh! Oh!    

(Pinkie Pie grunts)    

(Applejack strains, yelps)    

Applejack: We can't muscle through 'em!    

Rainbow Dash: We'll see about that.    

(Rainbow Dash gasps)    

Applejack: Whew...Heavens to Betsy.    

Now, I'm used t'pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off,    

but Rarity won't even TOUCH mud 'less it's imported.    

Twilight: (anxious) Oh, Rarity...    

(harp flourish, wipe to imagination)    

Rarity: Oh, woe is me! What EVER shall I do?    

(screams) Dirt, dirt! Get away, dirt!    

Make it stop, make it stop! (screams)    

Filthy, disgusting dirt. It stings. It BURNS!    

Help! Oh, somepony save me, SAVE ME... (trails off)    

Applejack: We gotta save 'er.    

Fluttershy: But they blocked up all the holes.    

Applejack: Don't mean we can't dig 'em out. Come on!    

Pinkie Pie: OW!    

(crash)    

(Fluttershy grunts)    

(Spike panting, yelps, crashes and grunts)    

Rainbow Dash: GET 'EM!    

(Rainbow Dash grunts)    

(Applejack grunts repeatedly)    

(Applejack gasps)    

Pinkie Pie: Whoooa!    

(ponies grunt and crash into ground)    

Rainbow Dash: Go get 'em!    

(Twilight yelps, crashes)    

(all panting in exhaustion)    

Fluttershy: All these scary monsters popping up everywhere...    

Fluttershy: Oh, poor Rarity must be terrified!

Twilight: Oh...    

(imagination wipe)    

Small dog: Get me the baubles!

(Rarity yelps)    

Big dog: Get me the beads!

(Rarity yelps)    

Leader: Get me the trinkets!

(Rarity shrieks)    

Dogs: WHERE IS THE TREASURE?!

(Rarity swoons)    

Twilight: Poor Rarity. What are we gonna do?    

Spike: I've GOT IT! (bravado) I'll save you, my sweet!    

Ponies: Huh?    

Twilight: Spike, it is very noble of you-

(Spike shushes Twilight)    

(hushed) to sacrifice the gem Rarity gave you.    

Spike: O Lady Rarity, my damsel in distress...    

(in Spike's imagination)

Adult Spike: (same voice) I shall save you!    

Show yourselves, you dogs! You curs!    

(guttural growls)

Ah, there you are, you mangy mutts.    

Leader: Who are you calling mutts?! UNLEASH THE HOUNDS!    

(blows dog whistle inaudibly)    

(dogs bark)    

(frenzied barking)    

(dogs whine)    

(barking)    

(dogs whine)    

(barking)    

(Spike breathes f*re, dogs yelp)    

(Spike breathes f*re)    

Spike: (heroically) Now, where is Lady Rarity?    

(door shatters)    

Rarity: Ah, Spike! I KNEW you would save me!    

Spike: (modestly) Nothing could stop me, milady.    

Rarity: (trembling coquettishly) O-o-o-oh Spike, you are my...hero.    

(Rarity smacks lips noisily)    

Spike: Mmmm...    

Applejack: (chuckling) Whoa-ho there, Lover Boy.    

Spike: Huh?! Whoa! Whoa whoa whoawhoawhoa! I've got a bite!    

I got a bite!    

Applejack: (grunts, mouth full) Hold on there, little fella!    

Twilight: Applejack!    

Rainbow Dash: Twilight!    

Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!    

Pinkie Pie: (unfazed) Wait for me! WHEEE!    

(all screaming)    

(Pinkie Pie laughs)    

(all grunt in turn as they crash into ground)    

Spike: (voice echoing) Ha HA, it worked! We're 

 in! Now we can finally save Rarity!    

Twilight: Um...which way do we go?    

Spike: (echoing) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!    

Twilight: All these tunnels...how are we ever gonna find Rarity?    

Applejack: Guess we're just gonna have t'start goin' down 'em one by one.    

Rainbow Dash: That could take forever! There's gotta 

 be a way to narrow it down.    

Spike: I know! I bet they've taken Rarity 

 down the tunnel with the most gems!    

Twilight: But Spike, Rarity's the only one who knows how to find gems.    

Spike: No, Twilight, you can! You can copy Rarity's gem-finding spell!    

Twilight: Oh my gosh. You're right! Rarity showed me 

 how she did it a while back.    

If I can just remember...    

(Twilight strains, horn poofs)    

Spike: That's it! You did it, Twilight! Come on!    

We're comin', Rarity! We'll save you! Just hold on!    

Rarity: Oh please, diamond dogs. Please let me go.    

Small dog: NO!

Big dog: You're our precious little pony.    

Leader: FOREVER! (maniacal cackle)    

Rarity: But whatever do you want from me?    

Leader: (lisping) Gemsss!

Small dog: Yes, the gems, the jewels!    

Big dog: Find them. Find them all!    

Rarity: (confidently) Oh. Is that all?    

There, a lovely pocket of jewels is right there. Now if 

 you'd be so kind as to show me the exit...    

Leader: (amused cackle) Good! Now, dig them up, pony.    

Rarity: What? But you said you wanted me to FIND the gems.    

Small dog: Yes! Find, and then dig.    

Rarity: (dryly) Dig?

Big Dog: (exasperated grunt) Yes, dig.    

(aggrieved sigh)    

(Rarity paws at ground and whimpers lightly)    

Big dog: What are you doing?! We said DIG!    

Rarity: (indignantly) Forgive me, but prior to you so 

 rudely dragging me into your dirt pit,    

I had a pony pedi, and I am not about to 

 chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging.    

(Rarity paws at ground and whimpers)

Leader: Oh, for goodness... (groans)    

Fine, just stop. Stop!    

Dig, dogs! Dig! And fast.    

(frenzied barking)    

Big dog: (grunts) She won't dig, she pulls.    

Rarity: I beg pardon, but what, pray tell, are you doing?!    

Big dog: Others will dig. You will haul the wagon.    

Small dog: (sardonically) Precious pony pedi will be preserved.    

Rarity: Well, SOMEBODY certainly needs proper nail care.    

When was the last time YOU two had a manicure?!    

You're scratching up my coat with those jagged things!    

Leader: (pleading) PLEASE BE QUIET!    

Rarity: (repulsed) Good HEAVENS, what IS that smell?!    

Leader: Smell?    

Rarity: (dryly) Ah, mystery solved. It's your breath.    

(leader breathes on hand and sniffs)    

Leader: (frustrated) ENOUGH! SEARCH, PONY!    

(cart drags along ground)

Rarity: Well, since you insist.    

But I must say, the working conditions in here are simply dreadful.    

(dogs digging)

Musty and damp. It's going to wreak havoc on my mane.    

And this air... (scoffs) ...suffocating.    

And when I try to take a deep breath, the 

 scent of all you dogs makes me nauseated.    

(rock shatters, crashes into ground, dogs whimper)    

You look and smell like you haven't bathed in WEEKS.    

Have you never heard of soap?    

(dogs sniffing each other)

You could all do with 

 a good round of soap and water.    

Water, water...I'm terribly thirsty. Could I please have some water?    

Small dog: (frazzled) Good gracious, I can't take this anymore! BE QUIET, PONY!    

Rarity: (haughtily) And that's another thing. I would appreciate 

 it if you would stop calling me "pony."    

I am a lady, and I wish to be addressed as such.    

So you can call me "Miss," or "Rarity," or "Miss Rarity."    

Leader: ENOUGH! Your whining, it-it-it HURTS!    

Rarity: "Whining?" I am NOT whining. I am COMPLAINING.    

(ominously) Do you want to HEAR whining?    

(shrill, exaggerated whining) Thiiis is whining!    

Oh, this harness is too TIIIGHT!    

It's going to chafe.    

Can't you loosen it?    

Oooh, it hurts, and it's (piercing) sooo rusty!    

Why didn't you clean it first?!    

It's gonna leave a staaain!    

And the wagon's getting heavy, why do I have to pull it?!    

Small dog: Aaah! Make it stop!    

Leader: Stop whining!    

Rarity: (indignant whining) But I thought you waaanted whiniiing!    

Leader: We'll do ANYTHING, pony!    

(nervously) Oh, uh, we'll do anything, "Miss Rarity." (sheepish chuckle)    

Rarity: "Anything?"    

This water is hardly sparkling, but I suppose it'll have to do.    

(dogs groaning and straining)

Leader: ...Wait! Why are WE doing this?!    

Small dog: To stop the awful noises from 

 the pony's mouth, remember? (imitates Rarity whining)    

Leader: Yes, yes, I know! This is ridiculous!    

Letting a pony order us around?!    

What are we?! Mice or dogs?    

Big and small dogs: (hesitantly) Mi-er, dogs?    

Leader: Dogs do not pull. Ponies pull.    

Let her make the awful noises.    

Rarity: Huh? What are you doing?! Hey! You spilled my drink!    

Oh! (shrill, exaggerated whining) Not so tiiiiiiiiight!    

Leader: Ha! Make the noises all you want! But MOVE while you make them!    

Hyah, mule! (slaps Rarity)    

Rarity: (tearing up) Did you just call me a..."mule?"    

Leader: Eh...?    

(sniffling, voice breaking) Mules are ugly. Are you saying that I, too, am ugly?    

(Rarity sobs theatrically)

Small dog: What are THESE noises?!    

Rarity: (whiny sobs) HE CALLED ME UGLY!

Leader: (defensively) No! Mule! I said "mule!"    

Rarity: An old ugly mule! And it's true!    

Just look at me.    

I used to be beautiful, but, but, no-o-o-o-ow...!    

Large dog: (henpecked) No, no! You're still beautiful, po-uh, Miss Rarity!    

Rarity: You're just saying that!    

Small dog: (tripping over words) No, you're still pretty, and...and...    

Leader: Oh, uh, uh, nice! Yeah.    

Rarity: I don't believe you! You never liked me!    

(Rarity sobs loudly)

Leader: (groans) I've had just about enough of this.    

Twilight: We're getting close. I can feel it.    

(Rarity's sobs echo through tunnels)

Spike: It's coming from down here! Come on!    

(Rarity sobbing)

Rainbow Dash: She must be in there! Let's go-    

(all yelp)    

Dog: More workhorses!    

(Applejack grunts)    

Applejack: Ho, doggies. If you can take this bull by 

 the horns, you better be ready fer a ride.    

Come on, ponies! Kick 'em up, kick 'em out!    

Buck 'em up, buck 'em down!    

(dogs yelping frantically as they are tossed about)    

Applejack: YEE-HAW! Git along, little doggies!    

(cacophony issues forth from tunnel)    

Spike: (bravado) I'm comin' for you, milady!    

Hi-ho Twilight, AWAY!    

Twilight: And just what do you think you're doing?    

Spike: Please, Twilight. Just give me this.    

Twilight: (sighs) Fine. (neighs)    

(door shatters)    

Spike: Lady Rarity, I'm here to save you!    

(dogs pleading with ponies to make Rarity stop)    

Twilight: Excuse me...?    

Small dog: So picky.

Big dog: And critical.    

Small dog: She won't stop talking.

Big dog: And crying.    

Leader: We, uh, give her back. Yes.    

Spike: Rarity! You're safe!    

Rarity: (calmly) Why, yes. Hello, girls.    

You arrived just in time to assist me.    

Applejack: Assist you with what?    

Rarity: With THOSE.    

Spike: You're letting us leave? With all these...jewels?    

Leader: (pleading) Yes, take them! And HER with them!    

Small dog: PLEASE!    

(dogs sigh)    

Pinkie Pie: I can't believe you got all these gems!    

Rainbow Dash: I can't believe you tricked all those dogs.    

Rarity: Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I 

 cannot handle myself in a sticky situation.    

I had them wrapped around my hoof the entire time.    

Twilight: I can't wait to write to Princess Celestia 

 to tell her what you taught me today.    

Rarity: (quizzically) Me? What did I teach you?    

Twilight: Just because somepony is ladylike doesn't make her weak.    

In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can 

 be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all.    

Spike: Mm. "Outshines" is right.    

Now you have enough gems to cover Sapphire Shores' costumes.    

Rarity: Not if you eat them all, Spike.    

(Spike yelps, ponies laugh)    

(ending theme begins) My Little Pony    

My Little Pony    

(instrumental)    

My Little Pony, friends
{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x19 - A Dog and Pony Show"}