Scene opens on a sh*t of Smallville High. Day. The beginning of the new school year. A large banner in red letters across a yellow background reads, 'Welcome Back!' above the Smallville High sign. 

Cut to a close up of Clark Kent. A small red "REC" in the corner, and the shaky camera work indicates Clark is speaking toward a video camera. 

Clark: (Nervously) Well, Whitney...you shipped out over there... it's...I'm sure it's pretty warm. (looks down at his shoes, chuckling nervously) Uhh...that really sucked. 

Cut to a sh*t of Lana holding the video camera, taping Clark as they stand in the hallway of the school. 

Lana: (Reassuringly) It's okay Clark. Just say what you feel. 

As Clark shuffles his feet, Pete enters the hall from behind Lana. 

Pete: (Curiously) What's with Clark Kent, movie star? 

Clark: Well, Lana's making a video letter for Whitney overseas. 

Lana: Thought it was the least I could do. (holds up the camera toward Pete) Hey, do you wanna give it a sh*t? 

Pete: (to Clark) Watch how the pros do it. (to camera) The town's still rebuilding after the storm, the first week of school is a bear, and you're missing the worst heat wave in 25 years. Bottom line, stay safe and come home soon. PS, the football team's toast without Fordman on offense. 

Lana: (laughs) That was perfect, Pete. 

Clark: (dryly) Yeah, super. 

Pete: (clapping Clark on the shoulder) Try not to choke this time. 

Pete exits, and Clark turns back to Lana. 

Lana: (hopeful) How 'bout it Clark? Do you wanna try take two? 

Clark: How about a raincheck? 

Lana: Sure. Umm...why don't you come by the Talon later? 

Clark: All right. 

Lana: All right. (gives Clark a small wave and a smile) See ya. 

Lana exits, and Clark stares after her, watching her weave her way through the hallway. 

Chloe: (off screen) It's good to see some things never change. 

Clark turns to see Chloe standing beside him. 

Clark: (excitedly) Chloe! 

Chloe: Hi. 

Clark wraps Chloe in a giant bear hug, a huge grin breaking out over his face 

Clark: (happily) Hey, you're back! 

Chloe returns the hug somewhat uncomfortably. She appears more sad than happy. 

Chloe: Yeah. Yeah, fresh from the wilds of Metropolis and the Daily Planet internship program.

(she gives a small, nervous laugh) 

Clark: Well, Pete says you were a big h*t. I thought we had lost you for good. 

The two turn and begin to walk down the hallway. 

Chloe: Yeah, well my dad decided to give LexCorp another sh*t, so here I am, back in the boonies. 

Clark and Chloe both chuckle at the idea. 

Clark: (putting an arm around Chloe and pulling her close) Well, I'm glad you're staying. I really missed you this summer. 

Chloe's expression reveals she's uncomfortable with the closeness to Clark and pulls away a little bit 

Chloe: Yeah, I could tell by the voluminous emails you sent. 

Clark: (guiltily) Yeah, sorry...with the farm, and I... 

Chloe: (flatly) Don't worry about it, Clark. It's not a big deal. 

Clark continues, despite the tension between the two of them 

Clark: Well...well, I'm really excited to hear all your stories. 

Chloe: (with a fake cheerfulness) Yeah, actually, you know what? There aren't any stories. Oh, except that I did meet this really hot young intern from Metropolis High. It was great! Made me forget all about Smallville for three whole months. 

Chloe turns and walks away from Clark. Clark watches her go with a look of surprise and confusion on his face. He sighs and looks the other way down the hall, as Chloe turns around. Her face reveals she's saddened as it doesn't appear her news has had any affect on Clark whatsoever. 

[Next scene: In the Smallville High Biology Classroom. Pete and Clark entering] 

A student wheels an old projector toward the middle of the classroom as the kids enter. 

Pete: (sarcastically) Oh great. 

Clark: (amused) What? 

Pete: (dryly) Every year the incredibly aged Mrs. Kowalski kicks off biology class with an ancient sex ed film. 

Pete and Clark sit at a lab table near the front, while Chloe and Lana take a seat at a table a few rows back. 

Clark: Who told you that, your brother? 

Pete: (chuckling) My dad. 

Clark: (hopefully) Well, I'm sure it can't be that bad. 

Cut to a door at the front of the classroom swinging open. Enter Miss Desiree Atkins, a beautiful young teacher in her late 20's/early 30's. She's dressed in a light, flimsy, lowcut sundress that stops just short of her upper thigh. 

Desiree: Good Morning. I'm Miss Atkins. I'll be your new biology teacher on health and human development. 

The boys in the class sit up and take notice. Chloe looks on with an expression of surprise and amusement. Miss Atkins moves about the room, lowering the projection screen, which gives Clark and Pete a good look at her...assets...as she adjusts the screen. Clark is staring so hard he nearly falls off his chair. Lana and Chloe just continue to look amused. 

Desiree: I'm really sorry about the air conditioning in here, but it looks like we're going to have to suffer through this together. 

Pete: (under his breath) Bring on the pain. 

Lana giggles, and Desiree moves around to close the blinds. 

Desiree: Let's get ready for a movie. All right. Everybody try to stay awake. 

Cut to a sh*t of the projector, clunking away. A monotone male voice drones on about animal reproduction, and sh*ts of the screen indicate the class is watching a nature film about mammals and procreation. 

Film Narrator: All members of the animal kingdom, from the simplest one-celled organism to the most complex of mammals, engage in reproduction. This insures that each individual creature can pass on its genetic information to future generations. Animals rely on a variety of courtship methods. This remarkable reproductive process is set into motion by the act of copulation, also know as intercourse or coitus. In many species, the females attract their mates with chemical scents called pheromones. (sh*t of Chloe, who laughs) Phermones are used to elicit specific behaviors from members of the opposite sex and are secreted by glands, or incorporated into other fluids such as perspiration. The desired goal of all courtship behavior in mammals is to... sperm into the female...sperm travels up the...to... 

Between the heat and the boring narration, the class is struggling to stay awake. Clark turns and glances at Desiree, who is leaning against the desk at the back of the room. As he watches, she reaches down and caresses her leg. A sheen of sweat breaks out on Clark's face as he watches her absently running her fingers over her collar bone. She notices him watching, and indicates he needs to turn around and pay attention to the film. He does so, and Chloe, who is watching the exchange, laughs sarcastically to herself in disbelief. The film's narrator drones on about pheremones and how animals use them to control each other. Clark glances back at Desiree again, and swallows hard as he watches a bead of sweat run down between her breasts. Suddenly, Clark's face begins to contort in an expression of panic, and he quickly faces the front of the room, blinking rapidly. 

As Clark turns to the front, his eyes begin to glow slightly, and as he begins to pant, two wavy heat waves (similar to the heat waves you see rising off pavement) sh**t from his eyes and onto the projector screen in splotches. The screen begins to catch on f*re, as other students get up in a panic. Clark remains seated, panting and wiping his face with his hand, unsure if he caused that to happen or not. 

Desiree: Ok everybody walk, do not run! Leave your books. Let's go! 

As the students file out of the classroom in a panic, Clark gets up, and looks at the screen in horror. 

[Opening Credits] 

Cut to a sh*t outside Smallville High. There is a f*re truck pulled up next to the school and students are milling about the parking lot, some of them being questioned by firemen. Clark and Pete stand next to the firetruck, watching the proceedings. Suddenly, a horn is heard honking behind them, and a silver Ferrari sports car pulls up. The door flies open and Lex climbs out in a hurry. Clark starts turns toward the car. 

Clark: (pleased) Lex! 

Lex rushes toward where Clark and Pete are standing. 

Lex: I came as soon as I heard. 

Clark begins to smile, but his expression changes to one of confusion as Lex rushes right by Clark, barely acknowledging his presence, and makes a bee-line for Desiree. 

Desiree: Hi! 

Lex: Hi. 

The two embrace and kiss tenderly. 

Lex: (concerned) Are you alright? 

Pete and Clark exchange looks of confusion. 

Desiree: (reassuringly) I'm fine. (points to Clark) Thanks to this young man right here. (to Clark) Clark, come here for a second. (to Lex) He was the only one that kept a cool head during the entire thing...he actually put the f*re out. 

Lex: Why am I not surprised? Clark, once again, I'm grateful. 

Clark: And I'm confused. 

Lex grins broadly 

Lex: You're right, and I'm sorry. (turns to Desiree) I'd like you to meet Desiree Atkins. My fiancé. 

Desiree smiles at Clark. Clark looks stunned. In the background, a fireman declares the building "All Clear" and students begin to re-enter the building. 

Desiree: See you in class, Clark. 

Desiree squeezes Lex's hand goodbye, although he seems reluctant to let go, and heads toward the building. Clark and Lex watch her go, Clark with an expression of confusion, and Lex with an expression of love. 

Clark: (coming up to stand beside Lex) Fiancé, huh? I didn't even know you were seeing anyone. Are you sure about this? 

Lex: (continuing to stare after Desiree) I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Oh... 

Lex suddenly begins rifling through his jacket pockets as he remembers something. 

Lex: I was going to have this messengered, but, since you're here... 

Lex hands Clark a small white envelope. Clark looks at him in surprise, before taking the envelope and opening it. As he pulls out the card inside, we see two engraved wedding rings on the front of the card. 

Clark: It's a wedding invitation...(surprised)...for tonight. 

Lex: (sincerely) I know it's short notice, but I was hoping you'd be my best man. 

Clark just stares at Lex, stunned by both the sudden nature of the wedding and Lex's request. 

Clark: Lex...I..I don't know what to say. 

Lex: I hope you'll say yes. 

Clark: (glancing around in confusion) Well, I'm surprised... 

Clark sees on Lex's face how much it means to him to have Clark there, and relents. 

Clark:...and honored. 

Lex smiles. 

Lex: (amused) Good. 

Lex claps Clark on the shoulder and starts to head toward his car. 

Lex: (pointing at the school) Better get back to class. You never know when the next f*re may erupt. 

Lex gets back into his car. Clark studies the invitation, and then watches with concern as Desiree enters the school building. 

Cut to a sh*t of the outside of Luthor Mansion, followed by a sh*t of a legal document proclaiming itself to be the prenuptial agreement between one Lex Luthor and one Desiree Atkins. 

Desiree: (offscreen, her hand picking up the prenup off Lex's desk) Oh, a wedding present from your father. (laughs nervously) You said you want me to sign this? 

Cut to a sh*t of Lex and Desiree in Lex's office, both sweating as they try to fight off the heat wave's effects. 

Lex: (dryly) If you don't my father could disinherit me. 

Desiree: (chuckles) Fine. (pouting playfully) I'll sign it. But it's gonna cost you a kiss. 

Desiree wraps her arms around Lex's neck, and pulls him close for a kiss. Cut a close up sh*t of their lips as they kiss passionately. As Desiree pulls back, we see a fuchsia vapor escapes Desiree's lips, directed at Lex's mouth and nose. She blows the mist toward Lex, who inhales it. Desiree studies Lex's face for a moment before continuing. 

Desiree: (pouting) I really wish we didn't have to sign this on our wedding day. 

Lex: (sighs) You're right. (whispers) You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I plan on being with you until death do us part. 

Lex takes the prenup from Desiree and rips it in half. Desiree smiles seductively. 

Cut to a sh*t of the Kent kitchen. Martha sits at the table, going through some bills, a table fan aimed directly at her. Jonathan enters from working outside, dirt smudges all over his face. 

Jonathan: Hi sweetheart. 

Martha: (fanning herself with the bills) Hi. 

Jonathan: (crossing over to the fridge) Whew! 

Martha: (dryly) Tell me again your aversion to air conditioning? 

Jonathan: (pulling a pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge) Two words: Electric bill. 

Martha just rolls her eyes and continues fanning herself. 

Clark comes in fron outside, a concerned look on his face. 

Martha: Hi Clark. 

Jonathan, glass in hand, turns and glances at Clark. 

Martha: How was school? 

Clark: (dryly) It was different. 

Jonathan: (pouring two glasses of lemonade) Do we like different? 

Clark: There was a f*re during biology class. 

Martha looks up in concern as Clark continues. 

Clark: It's OK, nobody was hurt...I stopped it before it spread. 

Martha: (happily) Well, it sounds like we should be proud of you. 

Clark: (leaning against the sink) Except I think I started it. 

Martha looks at Clark with surprise. 

Jonathan: Wait, you wanna explain that? Please? 

Clark: (slightly upset) I started to feel hot. And my eyes started to burn. All of a sudden, the spot I was staring at burst into flames. 

Martha: (amazed) Just by looking at it? 

Clark: (agitated) Hello? Hi, I'm Clark, I'm the kid who can lift up tractors and see through walls. 

Clark stomps off to the edge of the kitchen, turning his back on his parents. 

Jonathan: (coming to stand behind Clark) Son... hang on just a second. What exactly was going on when this happened? 

Clark: We had just met our new biology teacher, and we were watching a film. 

Martha: An educational film? 

Clark: A sex educational film. 

Martha and Jonathan just stare at Clark, a look of realization crossing their faces. Clark,on the other hand, gets a look of supreme embarrassment on his face and goes back to the table, grabbing a glass of lemonade. 

Jonathan: (to Martha) This could get very complicated. 

Martha: (delicately) Uhh...Clark...i-i-it's possible that whatever's happened has some sort of...hormonal...connection... 

Jonathan: (quickly) Yes. 

As Martha is talking, Clark drains the glass of lemonade in a single glup, then turns to find his parents staring at him with concern. 

Clark: (frustrated) Great! So I'm maturing into a firestarter? 

Jonathan: No, son..look...ummm... 

Martha looks at Jonathan encouragingly as he continues 

Jonathan: ...we've...just gotta get a handle on this thing, like we've gotten a handle on all your other abilities. 

Clark: (still frustrated) Except all my other abilities didn't involve things bursting into flames! 

Jonathan opens his mouth to say something, then closes it, realizing Clark is right. 

Martha: All the more reason for you to give it some time. Just...uh..you'll... 

Clark: (upset) Great. 

Martha: Just...you'll, uh...have to stay close to home, and, uh...and then we'll figure it out. 

Clark just sighs, nodding in agreement, then stops as he remembers something. 

Clark: I can't 

Jonathan looks at Clark questioningly. 

Clark reaches into his back pocket and pulls out Lex's wedding invitation, handing it to Martha. 

Martha: Why? What's this? 

Clark: (shaking his head) You're not gonna believe it... 

Cut to a sh*t of a champagne bottle being popped open. The crowd cheers and laughs, as we pan over to see Lex--in a black suit with a grey striped tie--and Desiree--in a strapless white wedding dress--smiling as they stand behind an elaborate, muti-tiered wedding cake. We pan around outside and see people milling about the Luthor grounds near the open air structure that's been set up for the outdoor reception, with fans set up to try and keep the guests cool. 

Back underneath the veranda, Lex holds his index finger, the tip of which is covered in frosting, to Desiree's mouth. She sucks a bit of the frosting off his finger as people clap. Lex smiles and licks the rest of the frosting off his finger, smiling at the guests. Clark--dressed in a suit that matches Lex's, looks on, happy bit still a little shell shocked by the whole thing. 

A butler brings Lex and Desiree glasses of chanpagne, and they raise them to the crowd in a toast as everyone cheers. Clark looks on, a slight smile on his face. He glances around at the guests and stops when his eyes fall on Chloe standing off to the side, wearing a pale purple and white dress. He crosses the room and comes to stand beside her as she's sipping her drink. 

Clark: Hey, Chloe. I've been looking all over for you. 

The two friends start to walk across the room. 

Chloe: (chuckling) Hey. Really? I'm not that hard to find, Clark. (indicates the lavish decorations) Only Lex Luthor could put together a fairly tale wedding in less than 48 hours. 

Clark chuckles at Chloe's comments before getting serious. 

Clark: Look...you seemed a little distant this morning. I wanna make sure everything's OK between us. 

Chloe: Yeah, it's hunkey-dorey! 

Clark: (stopping and facing Chloe) Wait. Now I know something's wrong. The only person who says "hunkey-dorey" is my father. 

Chloe: (breezily) Look, Clark, I..I guess I just let my feelings get the better of me, but, you know...we made a decision and I'm perfectly fine with it. 

Clark: (smiling) Me too. 

Chloe: (with false cheerfulness) Great! 

Chloe turns to look at Lex and Desiree, who are standing face to face, looking deeply into each other's eyes and smiling. 

Chloe: But I still don't know how I feel about taking sex-ed from Mrs. Luthor. I can't believe Lex is *married*. 

Clark: (disbelieving) He says he really loves her. 

Chloe: Yeah, well love is rarely if ever logical. Maybe they just have the right pheremones. 

Clark gets a questioning look on his face. 

Clark: Hmm? 

Chloe: (sarcastically) It's chemistry, Clark. Some people have it...others don't.

Chloe walks off, leaving Clark standing there with a puzzled expression as he watches her cross the room. He turns back toward where Lex and Desiree were standing. Lex is gone, and Desiree is posing for several photographers. Clark watches her for a few moments, lost in thought, until a voice breaks him out of his daze.

Lex: (offscreen) Quit staring, Clark.

We pan over to see Lex approaching, champagne glass in hand.

Lex: (amused) You'll burn your eyes out.

Clark: (guiltily) I was just...

Lex: It's alright. Desiree's attractive. I understand. Oh, and thanks again Clark.

Clark hesitates, unsure if he should say what's on his mind, then decides to just say it.

Clark: Lex, I gotta tell ya...I was a bit shell-shocked. I mean, you go away on a two week business trip, and the next thing I know my mom's putting finishing touches on your wedding cake?

Lex: (chuckling) Believe me, when I left I had no intention of falling in love. I was struggling through another endless business function when suddenly...Desiree was there.

Clark: She must have made quite a first impression.

Lex chuckles, and leans in toward Clark, his voice taking on an amused, conspiritorial tone.

Lex: (amused) Actually, she said she'd come to save me. (laughs when Clark looks at him strangely) I thought it was a joke too...that she was only interested in my name or fortune, but...as the night wore on, I realized, she was different.

Clark: (smiling in disbelief) It just happened that fast?

Lex: (seriously) You can waste your time playing it safe, or you can go for it. But at some point, Clark...you just know when something's right.

Lex walks off to rejoin his bride, and Clark looks around as he thinks about what Lex said. His eyes stop on Lana, who is trying to cool off nearby with a drink in hand.

Cut to a sh*t of the Talon sign, lit up against the night sky. We cut to a sh*t seen through a video camera viewfinder, the REC flashing in the corner. In the viewfinder, we see Clark, still wearing his outfit from the wedding, speaking. As he speaks, we pull back away from the viewfinder to see him speaking to the camera.

Clark: And, uh, well...Pete's taping all the Sharks games for you, so you won't miss a thing. Although the way they're playing, you might want to. (chuckles) Uh...(sighs) Anyway, I haven't forgotten what we talked about, so don't worry. Just, uh, come home soon and be safe.

Lana: (pressing the off button and smiling) That was great! Thanks so much for doing this, Clark.

Lana climbs off the stool she was sitting on and crosses over to a table to set the camera down.

Lana: So, what did you and Whitney talk about?

Clark: Uh, just that he wanted me to keep an eye on you.

Lana stops and turns to look at Clark, an expression of disbelief on her face. Clark realizes what he said came out wrong, and rushes to explain.

Clark: Uh, not that he doesn't trust you...uhhh...

Lana nods her head, understanding Clark's uncomfortableness, and decides to quickly change the subject.

Lana: It's hot. (laughs) Do you want an iced coffee? I...I'm gonna go make an iced coffee.

Lana heads for the counter.

Lana: One of the perks of management...twenty four hour access to the cappucino machine.

Lana pulls out two tall glass mugs and begins filling them with ice as Clark approaches the counter.

Clark: So...what did you say to Whitney?

Lana: (scooping ice into the mugs) I started my message five or six times, but I can't seem to finish. There's so much I wanna say...

Clark: It's not easy, being in a long distance relationship.

Lana tuns to Clark and studies him for a b*at.

Lana: (honestly) I miss him.

She and Clark stare at each other for a moment, before Lana turns back to the cappucino machine.

Lana: And I'm worried about him, but it's difficult putting your life on hold. I'm not sure it was the wisest decision for either of us.

Clark looks surprised at her honesty as she turns to face him.

Lana: (sadly) I get his emails. (turns back to the cappucino machine) He's having a really tough time, first with basic traning and now being shipped out. He needs someone he can count on.

Clark looks on in sympathy. Lana finishes the drinks and carries them around the counter, trying to lighten the mood.

Lana: Besides, I *do* have you to look out for me, don't I?

Clark: Well, I know I haven't been around much this summer..(takes the glass from Lana and says "Thanks" as he sits at the counter)...but ever since the storm, the farm has just been a disaster.

Lana: Seems like we're all trying to find our way back from that day.

Clark nods in agreement.

Clark: Except for Lex. I've never seen him so happy before.

Lana: It's kinda weird.

Clark: (relieved) You know, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Lana: (laughs) Still, you have to admit it's romantic.

Clark: Well, Lex makes it seem easy.

Lana: (smiling) Maybe it is. Lex learned to act on his passion...never hold anything back. I wonder if we'll ever be able to do the same?

Clark and Lana lock eyes, and Clark gets an eager smile on his face. Suddenly, his face takes on a look of panic and he begins blinking his eyes and squeezing them shut. He realizes what's about to happen, and climbs off the stool.

Clark: (sounding sick) Uh...uh...

Lana: (concerned) Clark, what's wrong?

Clark begins heading quickly for the exit, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head. staggering away from Lana, his eyes still closed

Clark: Uh...I'm just not feeling so well...

Clark stops as the pain gets more intense, and Lana comes up behind him, reaching around and putting a hand on his forehead.

Lana: (alarmed) Oh my god...you're burning up. Let me drive you home.

Lana quickly heads back to the counter to get her keys. Clark spins around, eyes closed, trying to regain his balance. As he opens his eyes, the heat waves sh**t out of his eyes and ignite the cappucino machine, which explodes in a burst of flames. Lana screams. Clark, looking shocked, turns his head and the heat waves, which are still sh**ting from his eyes, ignite the wall. Clark looks around in panic, everywhere his eyes pointing to on the walls bursting into flames. Eventually, the heat waves subside and Clark groans, he shakes his head, closes his eyes and rubs his temples.

Lana comes up behind Clark, clutching his arm and staring in shock at the strips of flames burning along the walls of the Talon, and at the flames coming from the cappuccino machine incredulously. Clark puts an arm around her.

Clark: (concerned) Are you okay?

Lana: (shocked) Yeah, I'm fine. What happened?

Clark: I'm not sure...

Lana rushes away from Clark.

Lana: I'm gonna call 911.

Cut to a sh*t of the Kent barn, the next day. We go inside and see Clark sitting on the steps in the dark. The barn door opens and Jonathan enters. Clark blinks and turns his head at the sudden light flooding the barn.

Jonathan: Clark? I thought you'd be in school already.

Clark: (miserably) I'm not going.

Jonathan just looks at him, silently asking for an explanation.

Clark: (sadly) It happened again at the Talon.

Jonathan: What, another f*re?

Clark: (becoming increasingly upset as he talks) It was worse than before. I was afraid it wasn't gonna stop...(gets up from the stairs) ...and the f*re department said the f*re looks suspicious...and what can I say, they're right...

Jonathan comes over to Clark, trying to calm him down.

Jonathan: Come on, you and I both know that you didn't mean to start any of these fires...

Clark: (extremely upset) Dad, Lana was there...if I'd have hurt her...

Jonathan puts his hand on Clark's shoulder to comfort him, but Clark shakes him off and crosses the room.

Jonathan: Look, son...*Clark*!

Clark stops in his tracks at the authortative tone in his dad's voice.

Jonathan crosses the room and puts his hands on Clark's shoulders, turning him to face Jonathan. Clark keeps his eyes trained to the side, refusing to meet Jonathan's eyes

Jonathan: (softening his tone) Hey...come on...Clark...look at...*look* at me.

Clark reluctantly brings his eyes up to meet Jonathan's.

Jonathan: Son, I think I have a pretty good idea what's triggering this thing.

Clark looks at Jonathan hopefully.

Cut to a sh*t of a post being driven into the ground by Clark. We pull back and see Jonathan and Clark standing out in the field, next to a scarecrow which is mounted on the post.

Jonathan: Alright. Rule number one. Always practice away from the barn. Come on.

Jonathan claps Clark on the shoulder, and the two men walk several paces away from the scarecrow.

Clark: Dad, I don't get it. I thought the whole point was to stop this from happening.

Jonathan: (nodding) Well, in order to find the off switch, first we need to find the on switch, right? Alright...

Jonathan turns Clark around so that he's facing the scarecrow.

Jonathan: (Pointing to scarecrow) Now, I want you to remember exactly what you thinking about the first time it happened.

Clark just looks at Jonathan, then looks back at the scarecrow. The two men stare at it for a few seconds.

Jonathan: (clapping Clark on the shoulder encouragingly) Come on.

Clark stares at the scarecrow, trying to concentrate, but can't do it.

Clark: (uncomfortably) Dad...this might be easier if I was...

Jonathan: (interrupting) Alone. Yeah. Sorry.

Jonathan claps Clark on the back again, and starts to walk away.

Clark: (embarrassed) Thanks.

Jonathan heads back toward the barn, leaving Clark to practice alone. Clark stares at the scarecrow, his face squished up in concentration, but nothing happens. Clark stares at it for another second, then...

Clark: Lana

Suddenly, Clark's eyes begin to glow and the heat waves sh**t from his eyes. Over Jonathan's shoulder, we see in the distance the scarecrow exploding into a ball of flames. Clark looks over in his dad's direction, smiling proudly with accomplishment. Jonathan just chuckles and smiles, shaking his head in amusement.

Cut to a sh*t of some Jiffy Pop popcorn being h*t with some heat waves. The foil rises slowly as the heatwaves cause the corn inside to pop. We pull back and see Clark, standing in the Kent kitchen, aiming the heat waves at the popcorn as Martha and Jonathan look on.

Jonathan: Five scarecrows, two water barrels, and our mailbox later...

Clark: Dad, you were right. Once I understood what triggered the heat, I was able to control it without thinking about...sex.

As Clark says, "sex", the Jiffy-Pop container explodes, sending popped corn flying everywhere. Martha and Jonathan study Clark with amusement.

Jonathan: (amused) You sure about that son?

Clark: (walking over to pick up his backpack) Trust me. Next time I have a date, I'll be able to take her out without setting her on f*re.

Jonathan: Well, that's a relief.

Clark: (smiling) I'll be fine.

The Kents nod, although their faces look little less confident than Clark's.

Cut to a sh*t of the loft window in the Kent barn at night. We pan inside and see Clark, sitting down and lighting a row of candles using his heat vision, smiling proudly at his control. Suddenly, we hear the door of the barn open, and footsteps on the stairs to the loft. We see a set of female legs climbing up the stairs.

Desiree: Hey, Clark...you in here?

Desiree laughs as she enters the loft and sees every surface covered with burning candles.

Desiree: It's a little hot in here for candles, Clark.

Clarks up from his seat and crosses the loft.

Clark: (surprised) Mrs. Luthor...

Desiree stands there in a red outfit that doesn't leave much to the imagination, holding her hair up off her neck in an attempt to cool herself down.

Desiree: (smiling) Only at school. The rest of the time, I prefer Desiree. (lets her hair tumble to her shoulders) I went by the house...but nobody was home, and then I saw the light in the loft...

Clark: (quickly) Uh, yeah... my parents went into town...

Desiree: Well, actually, I came by to see you.

Clark looks surprised.

Clark: Really?

Desiree stares at Clark seductively. Clark just looks at her in confusion. Desiree starts to slowly walk toward Clark, like a hunter stalking its prey. Clark tries to back away as she comes closer.

Desiree: You see, most girls like older men, but not me. I like younger guys. What they lack in experience they make up for in passion.

Clark: (nervously) Is that right?

Desiree: Yeah. I saw you...staring at me the other day in class...

As Clark backs up, he trips over a chair and lands on the seat in a heap, knocking his head on a hanging lamp. Desiree takes advantage by moving even closer to him and running her hands over his shoulders.

Clark: (swatting the lamp out of the way) I'm sorry, I, uh...

Desiree: No, it's okay. I was actually flattered. As a matter of fact, I was hoping we could work on our...student teacher relations.

Clark fidgets nervously in his seat, extremely uncomfortable.

Clark: I...uh..mm...you're married to my best friend.

Desiree moves closer, about to kiss Clark, almost nuzzling his face with her own. As she does so, the pink mist comes from her mouth, and Clark inhales it. Desiree smiles slightly, then pulls back and begins running her hands seductively over Clark's thighs. She leans in and attempts to kiss Clark, but he pulls away and jumps up from the chair.

Clark: Uh, wait...

Clark crosses the room, moving away from Desiree

Clark: (nervously) I...I don't know what you expected here tonight, but Lex is my best friend. I'm not gonna do anything to hurt him.

Desiree: (feigns embarrassment) I don't know what came over me. (almost crying) Please don't tell Lex about this, OK? I am so sorry.

Desiree quickly leaves the loft, leaving Clark standing there with a worried expression on his face.

Cut to a sh*t of the school the next day. We then cut to a close-up of a computer screen, viewing a document from the Metropolis Superior Court, displaying Desiree's picture. The document notes a legal name change from Alison Sanders to Desiree Atkins. We pull back and see Clark and Chloe are in the Torch office, tracking down facts on the new Mrs. Luthor.

Chloe: Oh, so the new Mrs. Luthor has an alias. That's interesting.

Clark pulls a copy of the document out of the printer.

Clark: You know...what would you say...if I told you Miss Atkins a.k.a. Alison Sanders, showed up at my loft last night and... tried to seduce me.

Chloe laughs in disbelief.

Chloe: I'd say you were living the voyeristic fantasy of every male student in this school. Clark, she *just* married Lex. Why would she possibly be interested in you?

Clark: (a bit hurt) Thanks.

Chloe simply raises her eyebrows at him, silently asking him to give her a reason to believe him.

Clark: (sighing) Look, she was dissing Lex. Saying he was the only thing standing between her being with me.

Chloe rolls her eyes.

Chloe: OK, you know, this is quickly going from merely nauesating to genuinely disturbing.

Clark: Chloe, I'm not making this up. She's got some strange hold on Lex.

Chloe: (sarcastically) Gee, I wonder what that could be.

Clark gets up from his chair, upset that Chloe doesn't believe him.

Clark: I'm serious. It's more than the fact that she's hot.

Chloe: (still disbelieving) Clark, this is *Lex Luthor* we're talking about. Don't you think he considered all the unfortunate possibilities before saying 'I do'?

Clark: I dunno. (looks down at the document on Desiree that he's holding) But I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna go talk to him. Will you keep digging?

Chloe: Yeah, sure. Where there's smoke there's f*re. Excuse the aphorism.

Clark leaves the Torch office, heading for Lex's.

Cut to a sh*t of Lex playing pool in his study. He is upset about something, as he uses very hard, fast strokes to strike the pool balls. Clark enters the study. Lex calls out to him, his friendly tone in direct contrast to his earlier body language.

Lex: (walking around the pool table to set his next sh*t) Clark. I've been expecting you.

Clark: Really?

Clark stands there uncomfortably.

Lex: You can save the awkward silences. Desiree told me everything.

Clark: Lex, I really don't know what to say.

Lex lines up his next sh*t as he speaks.

Lex: All my life, I've had to second guess the intentions of others.

Lex strikes the cue ball very hard, sending the pool balls clattering across the table.

Lex: (continuing) I'd reached the point where I'd started to think friends were a luxuary I couldn't afford. (walks toward Clark with a smile) Till I met you Clark. From the day you pulled me out of that river, you've been the one person I could trust completely.

Clark smiles, happy to hear that Lex isn't mad at him.

Clark: (happily) I'm glad you feel that way, Lex.

Lex: (voice changing to a serious tone) Maybe that's why I find your infatuation with my wife so
 troubling.

Clark: (stunned) My infatuation?

Lex simply stares coldly at Clark.

Clark: Lex, I don't know what she told you, but she came on to me.

Lex: Oh, you expect me to believe that? Come on...I saw the way you looked at her the other day. She told me you've been eyeing her in class...

Clark: (panicked) No, Lex...you have to see this.

Clark reaches in his pocket and pulls out the document Chloe gave him, unfolding it and show it to Lex.

Clark: Your wife's real name is Alison Sanders. She grew up in Smallville. I bet she didn't tell you that, did she?

Lex takes the document from Clark and looks at it.

Lex: (coldly) No.

Lex tosses the document on the pool table and turns his back on Clark, walking back around the pool table.

Clark: (desperately) Well, if she didn't tell you the truth about that, how can you believe anything she...

Lex: (raising his voice in anger) She's my wife and I love her!

Clark stares at Lex.

Lex: (still angry) To be honest, I was hoping for an apology, not more insinuations. I thought our friendship meant more to you, Clark.

Clark: It does...

Lex: (shortly) You can let yourself out.

Clark turns to leave, and Lex takes another pool sh*t, striking the ball very hard, his face a mask of anger. As Clark walks toward the study doors, Desiree comes in, staring accusingly at Clark.

Clark: (determined) I don't know what you're doing to Lex, but I'm not dropping this.

Clark leaves, and Desiree walks slowly toward Lex.

Desiree: (sympathetically) I'm sorry Lex. That must have been difficult.

Lex stares at her angrily.

Lex: (indicating the document Clark brought) Can you explain this?

Desiree picks up the document and looks at it, then at Lex.

Desiree: Clark's right, I changed my name. (walks closer to Lex and stands between him and the pool table) But I changed it again yesterday to Luthor. That's all that really matters, isn't it?

Lex: I just don't understand why you would keep this from me.

Desiree stares at Lex seductively, then moves a little closer to him. She walks behind him, running her hands over his chest and talking softly in his ear as she does so.

Desiree: You know, it seems to me...that I haven't had a kiss from my husband in...oh, I dunno, at least six hours.

Lex: (exhaling in frustration) Desiree, we really need to discuss this.

Desiree stares at Lex for a moment, then opens her mouth and exhales, bl*wing a small stream of pink mist into Lex's face. He inhales it and drops the pool cue as Desiree moves in front of him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and bl*wing more pink mist into his face. Lex's eyes fall shut and Desiree kisses him passionately. She pulls back to make sure she has Lex under her control before speaking.

Desiree: (coldly) Clark is part of your past. Just like everyone else in this town.

Lex stares at Desiree with a blank expression.

Desiree: (continuing) You don't need 'em Lex. We don't need 'em.

Lex: Maybe you're right.

Cut to a sh*t of Chloe speaking to the camera. The red REC in the corner indicates she's speaking to a video camera, and the background indicates she's in the Talon.

Chloe: So remember, keep your head down. I'm counting on an exclusive interview from you when you get back.

Lana laughs and shuts off the video camera.

Lana: That was great Chloe.

Chloe: Thank you.

Chloe picks up her digital camera and starts going through the pictures as she gets up from her seat and walks to the counter.

Chloe: Oh, yeah, and thanks for the quid-pro-quo. Now I can move the 'library gets a new paint job' spread to page two.

Lana laughs.

Lana: So that must have been fun...spending the entire summer in Metropolis.

Chloe: (still looking at her camera) Yeah, it was really nice to get away. Sometimes, a little distance can just give you a new perspective on things you've done, you know? Mistakes you've made.

Lana: Going to the spring formal with Clark was not a mistake.

Chloe: (self depreciating chuckle) Yeah, it was. I let myself indulge in my feelings for him and I ended up getting hurt.

Lana gets up to come sit next to Chloe at the counter.

Lana: At least you were brave enough to take the risk.

Chloe: Oh yeah, that's me...Cupid's cannon fodder.

The girls chuckle at the joke.

Chloe: (introspectively) Ugh, three months. I thought I'd be over it by now. But when I saw him in the hall, all those feelings just came back. I even made up some lame story about meeting a guy in Metropolis to try and get a rise out of him.

Lana: (sincerely) Clark still really cares about you, Chloe.

Chloe: (honestly) I know. But he cares about you more.

Lana: I don't want Clark to come between our friendship.

Chloe: Me neither. So what are we gonna do about that?

Lana: Let's define ourselves by what we do, not who we date. Or don't date. (laughs)

Chloe: (smiling) Cool.

We hear the sound of the door opening, and see Lex striding into the Talon, papers in hand.

Lex: (seriously) Lana. We need to talk.

Chloe: (getting up from her chair) Umm...I ...have to get some work done at the Torch.

Lana: Alright. See ya.

As Chloe leaves, Lana turns to Lex.

Lana: I'm really glad to see you. (reaches over and picks up some papers from the counter) I just got the final insurance adjustments. (walking toward Lex and extending a pen) Once you countersign, we can get started on the repairs.

Lex doesn't respond, simply extending the blue folded documents in his hand. As Lana takes them, we see the header on the top sheet reads "Legal Buyout". Lana's face is stunned as she takes the papers.

Lana: Lex, I don't understand.

Lex: (matter of factly) It's not complicated. I've decided to invoke the buyout clause of our partnership agreement.

Lana r*fles through the papers.

Lana: (shocked) This gives me 24 hours to vacate the premises.

Lex: That's right. I've decided to reassess my business relationships. The Talon's no longer a good fit.

Lex turns and starts to leave. Lana follows him.

Lana: (outraged) This isn't fair! The Talon has always carried it's own weight.

Lex: (coldly) Breaking even isn't my idea of a good business model. (turns to face Lana) And frankly, I have to question the judgement of a partner who causes thousands of dollars in damage while entertaining friends after hours.

Lana: (angrily) I was here with *Clark*!

Lex: My faith in Clark evaporated along with my enthusiasm for the coffee shop business.

Lex turns and leaves and Lana stares after him, speechless.

Cut to a sh*t of the school hallway. Clark walks down the hall and sees Lana angrily throwing her books into her locker and slamming the door. He approaches her.

Clark: (concerned) Lana, what's wrong?

Lana: (angrily) I've just been evicted from the Talon.

Clark: (stunned) What?

Lana: Lex is using the f*re to justify taking back the building.

Lana finishes locking her locker and walks away. Clark follows.

Clark: No, he can't do that! It wasn't your fault!

Lana: (laughing sarcastically) He *knows* that. He was just looking for an excuse.

As she talks, Lana becomes more angry and upset.

Lana: People *warned* me about doing business with him. When I saw how hard he fought to keep the plant open, I actually thought he'd *changed*!

Clark steps in front of Lana and stops her from walking.

Clark: (desperately) Lana, you brought the Talon back from nothing. It means everything to you!

Lana: (upset) This proves it was never really mine.

Lana walks off, leaving Clark alone in the hall. As he watches her leave, he notices Desiree nearby, tacking a flyer up on a bulletin board in the hall. She stares back at him, and Clark's face goes from upset to angry. He marches over to Desiree.

Desiree: (smugly, her back still turned to Clark) Hello, Clark. Lana looked upset. Did she tell you what happened?

Clark: (angrily) Yeah. She mentioned that Lex is closing the Talon, and somehow, I think it wasn't completely his decision.

Desiree: Well, you're right. We made the decision as a couple.

Desiree turns to look at Clark before walking slowly down the hall. Clark follows.

Desiree: I wanted to prove a point.

Clark steps in front of Desiree, stopping her progress.

Clark: (angrily) To who? Lana?

Desiree: (coldly) No, Clark. To you. I want you to understand something.

As she speaks, Desiree circles Clark so that he's behind her again.

Desiree: I can control the people in your life. I had Lex close down the Talon in a heartbeat, imagine what would happen if I turned him against this town. Your friends. (turns to face Clark) Or even your parents.

Clark: (thr*at) I won't let you do that.

Desiree: You want this to stop? Then stay out of our lives.

Clark: (defiantly) I'm not gonna back off.

Desiree and Clark stare at each other angrily.

Clark: And I'll find a way to get through to Lex.

Clark walks off, and Desiree stares angrily after him, then smiles as she notices a few people looking at her in the hall.

Cut to a sh*t of a license plate on a red car. The Metropolis plates read "Desiree". As we pan down, we see a clear liquid running down over the license plate and onto the back bumper, then down to the ground, landing in a puddle under the car.

Cut to a sh*t of a match being struck, then dropped onto a wet trail in the parking lot. The trail is obviously gasoline, as it ignites instantly and the flame rushes toward the car. We pull back and see Desiree, watching as the flames engulf her car and it erupts in a massive expl*si*n, flipping the car over. Desiree watches the f*re for a few minutes before walking away.

Cut to a sh*t inside the Kent farmhouse. We see Clark's hand twirling a glass of lemonade, and in the background, Martha and Jonathan sit across from him with stunned and upset expressions on their faces.

Martha: (angry) Clark, why didn't you tell us about this earlier?

We see Clark sitting across from his parents, also looking upset.

Clark: I..I didn't know what to say. I guess I was embarrassed.

Jonathan: Well, I dunno know what we can do about the Talon. I mean, It's not against the law to sweet-talk your husband into making a bad business decision.

Martha: (upset) No, but trying to seduce a teenage boy is! (near tears) I'm calling the school board, first thing in the morning, and getting this woman suspended!

A knock sounds at the door, and Jonathan gets up to answer it.

Jonathan: Yeah...(pauses as he comes to the door and sees who is knocking) Ethan. Come on in.

The Smallville sheriff steps through the door, and Clark gets up to see what's going on.

Jonathan: What brings you out to these parts?

Sheriff Ethan: A teacher down at the high school, Mrs. Luthor, claims she saw Clark set her car set her car on f*re.

Clark turns and looks at Martha in shock.

Ethan: That's three suspicious fires in as many days, Clark. (pulls his handcuffs off his belt) I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take you into custody until we can sort this out.

Clark: (frantic) Mom, Dad! This is a mistake!

Martha pats his arm comfortingly

Martha: We know.

Jonathan: (sternly) Clark! I want you to do what Ethan says. We'll figure this thing out, I promise.

Ethan: Just turn around, son.

Clark looks at Martha, then turns around and offers his hands to be handcuffed. Martha watches near tears, and Clark looks near tears himself.

Cut to a sh*t inside the Talon. Lex is coming down the stairs, talking on his cell-phone.

Lex: That's right. I'm selling the building and everything in it. Talk to our people in Metropolis about a price and get back to me.

As Lex finishes his call, he glances toward the entrance and sees Martha entering.

Lex: Mrs. Kent.

Martha: (coldly) I was looking for Nell.

Lex: Uh, she just left. I believe she's arranging for the movers.

Martha: (dismissive) Well, I hope I didn't disturb you.

Martha turns to leave, but Lex calls out and stops her.

Lex: Mrs. Kent? I am truly sorry about Clark.

Martha: (disbelieving) Are you, Lex?

Martha and Lex simply stare, Martha's face a mask of anger and Lex's face showing the slightest hint of fear. Martha walks toward Lex until she's right in front of him.

Martha: (accusingly) My son is in jail. And your wife put him there.

Lex: Maybe these fires were a cry for help.

Martha: Is that you talking, or is Mrs. Luthor talking through you?

Lex: Mrs. Kent, I would never ask you to take sides against your husband...please don't ask me to doubt my wife.

Martha: Any good relationship relies on trust, but there has to be room to disagree. Like the way Jonathan and I disagreed about you. He couldn't see past the Luthor name, but I always thought you were truly trying to be a friend to Clark. Now I'm beginning to think Jonathan was right all along.

Lex: Believe me, Mrs. Kent, I never wanted it to come to this.

Martha: You know Clark. He's not a criminal. He's the *one* person who stood by you no matter what! Ask yourself, is he *really* capable of this?

Lex: I wouldn't have thought so. But I know Desiree.

Martha can't believe what she's hearing..

Martha: Lex! You met and married her in a week! How well could you know her!

Lex's jaw clenches as he stares at Martha. Apparently, she's struck a nerve. Martha simply shakes her head and walks away.

Lex: (softly) Mrs...

Lex's call goes unheeded as Martha leaves the building.

Cut a sh*t of Desiree swimming underwater in the Luthor mansion swimming pool. She swims from one end of the pool to the other with strong strokes, never rising until she approaches the ladder to climb out of the pool. As we pull back, we see Jonathan walking toward the pool purposefully.

Desiree climbs out of the pool, wringing the water out of her hair as Jonathan stares at her.

Desiree: Oh, hello Mr. Kent.

Jonathan looks away uncomfortably, as Desiree simply looks at him.

Desiree: Are you here to talk about Clark?

As the camera switches to a sh*t over Desiree's shoulder, we see the reason Jonathan is staring at the ground. Desiree is topless.

Jonathan: (not looking at Desiree) Yes I am. (reaches over and grabs a robe off a nearby chair and tosses it to Desiree) And I would prefer to do it fully clothed, if you don't mind.

Desiree: (meekly) Sure.

Desiree pulls on the robe, tying it around her waist, and walking slowly toward Jonathan as she talks.

Desiree: I'm sorry about your son, Mr. Kent. But you should take this as a warning sign. Your son is a seriously troubled young man.

Jonathan: (angrily turning to face Desiree) And just how do you figure that?

Desiree: (amused) Isn't it obvious? He starts fires and then he takes credit for putting them out.

Jonathan: He told me that he was nowhere near your car, and I believe him.

Desiree: (bluntly) Hmm. Your son is lying to you. I'm sorry.

Jonathan: You know, I thought I could come out here and reason with you. But clearly, I was mistaken.

Jonathan turns and starts to leave, but Desiree calls out to him.

Desiree: Mr. Kent, wait. Please, I'm sorry. You're right about everything.

Jonathan stops, but doesn't turn to face Desiree. She approaches him from behind.

Desiree: This all has to with Lex.

Jonathan shakes his head in disbelief, and turns to face Desiree.

Jonathan: This has nothing to do with your husband, Lex Luthor.

Desiree moves quickly, stepping closer to Jonathan as if she's about to kiss him. As she does so, she blows a healthy dose of pink mist into Jonathan's face, which he inhales. Jonathan's eyes fall shut as he inhales. He moves to kiss her, but Desiree puts her fingers on his lips and stops him.

Desiree: I need you to do something for me first.

Jonathan nods in agreement, and Desiree pulls him closer for a kiss.

Cut to a sh*t of a barred jail door being slid back. Chloe and Lana enter, walking through the jail and to Clark's cell.

Chloe: Sorry we didn't have time to bake a file into a cake.

Lana: How you holding up?

Clark gets up and walks to the door of his cell to greet them, gripping the bars as he talks.

Clark: Besides being accused of being a serial arsonist and trying to sleep with my best friend's wife, I'm great.

Lana: We've got some good news. Chloe followed up on your Alison Sanders clue.

Lana hands Clark an old folded up newspaper through the bars. He looks at it as Chloe talks.

Chloe: Apparently our vixen formerly known as Alison was popular with the Smallville boys even as a teenager.

Lana: (pulling out a smaller piece of paper and handing it to Clark) She was with her boyfriend when the meteors h*t.

Chloe: The Ledger article doesn't cover it, but I'll let your mind as to what they were doing in the truck by the lake.

Lana: Couple of weeks later, he lost it and m*rder her parents. Desiree inherited everything.

Chloe: Fast forward five years. Desiree is now a teacher. She marries a wealthy shipping executive, only to see him offed by one of her moonstruck high school students.

Lana: Same confession, same denial six hours later.

Chloe: It's the classic black widow scenario. Only after m*rder number two, this black widow had the misfortune of being heavily invested in dot coms. After she lost all the money, she decided to go after Lex.

Clark: So she tried to seduce me to k*ll him. Why'd she think I'd do it?

Chloe: Pheremones!

Clark looks at Chloe disbelievingly.

Clark: Chloe...

Chloe: Clark, she was in the throes of major passion when the meteors h*t! If her pheremone levels were enhanced, she could get a guy to do whatever she wants! Lucky for us, Clark Kent seems to be immune to some members of the opposite sex.

Clark looks up quickly, taken aback by Chloe's snarky comment. The tension rises as they simply stare at each other for a few seconds, while Lana looks on uncomfortably. Ethan unlocks the door to the cell area, breaking the silence.

Ethan: Time's up, girls!

The girls look at Ethan, and then look back at Clark helplessly.

Chloe: (sighing in disappointment) Okay...

The two girls turn to leave, and Clark calls after them.

Clark: (quietly so Ethan can't hear) Hey, my dad went to go see Desiree! I gotta get out of here!

Chloe: (whispering) Just hang on, Okay?

The two girls leave quickly, and Clark watches them go in frustration. Clark glances around, trying to find a way out, and his eyes rest on a small electrical box across from his cell.

Cut to the main room of the sheriff's station. Suddenly, we hear an expl*si*n. The f*re alarm sounds, and Ethan and his deputy spring into action.

Ethan: Call it in!

The deputy moves to call the f*re station, while Ethan heads back to where the cells are. The cell area is fille with smoke, and the electical box is engulfed in flames.

Ethan: (panicked) Oh, jeez!

He quickly unlocks the cell area door, followed by Clark's cell door. The electrical box starts sh**ting sparks everywhere. Clark is staring at the f*re in mock fear.

Ethan: We gotta get you outta here Clark. Stay close to me.

Clark exits the jail cell, and Ethan turns around for a split second to look at the f*re. That's all the time Clark needs, as we hear a wooshing sound. Ethan turns around.

Ethan: Clark?

The door to the sheriff's station is open, and Clark is gone.

Cut to a sh*t of Luthor Manor. We then cut to a signed and notarized legal document. The text on the document proclaims it is the "Last will and testament of Lex Luthor." Lex picks it up off his desk and studies it.

Lex: We need to talk.

We pull back and see Desiree standing at the bar, fixing herself a drink.

Desiree: (innocently) Is something wrong?

Lex: (walking towards Desiree) I'm not sure. I know love is supposed to be blind, but since meeting you, I feel like I've lost all sense of reason regarding my friends, my business, and suddenly I don't know why.

Desiree: (smugly) Well, it's too late for second thoughts, Lex. The papers have been finalized. Everything you have is mine.

Lex: You only inherit in the event of my death.

Desiree simply looks at Lex as she sips her drink, and a look of realization crosses Lex's face. He grins wryly, trying to act as if he's joking, but his words are serious.

Lex: (dryly) Were you planning to k*ll me?

Desiree: (coldly) No.

She turns and walks toward a door at the back of Lex's study, and throws it open.

Desiree: (matter of factly) He is.

Jonathan enters, carrying a g*n, which he cocks and aims at Lex. Lex's eyes widen in fear.

Cut to a sh*t from above the Luthor study. Desiree and Jonathan stand on one side, with Jonathan aiming the sh*t g*n directly at Lex. Lex stands on the other side, holding his hands out in front of him as he tries to reason with Jonathan.

Lex: I know you, Mr. Kent. You're not a m*rder. Please...put the g*n down.

As Lex speaks, he backs away slowly, and reaches down to pick up his phone off his desk. Just as his hand reaches it, it explodes as Jonathan sh**t it with the g*n. Lex jumps back in fear, and sweat--not just from the heat--pours down his face.

Jonathan: (angrily) I'm not lettin' you add Desiree's name to your list of victims!

Lex: (desperately) She's using you, Mr. Kent. Whatever she told you, it's not true.

Jonathan's answer is to simply recock the g*n and take aim at Lex.

Suddenly, the doors to the study burst open, and Clark runs into the room. He sees what's going on and yells to his father.

Clark: Dad! Don't!

It's too late, as Jonathan pulls the trigger and Lex tries to leap behind his desk. The scene goes into slow motion as we see the b*llet leave the muzzle of the g*n. It slowly heads for Lex, who is trying to get out of the way. As the b*llet crosses in front of Clark, he aims his heat vision at it, and as the b*llet passes through the heat waves, it melts and breaks apart.

We go back into real time, as Lex falls to the ground, unhurt. Jonathan simply recocks the g*n and heads for where Lex fell, aiming the g*n again and getting ready to pull the trigger. Lex rolls over and sees Jonathan standing over him, ready to sh**t him at point blank range, and cries out as he attempts to shield himself with his arms.

Clark rushes over and tries to grab the g*n from his father.

Clark: Dad you can't do this!

He grabs the g*n and tries to pull it away from Jonathan.

Jonathan: (struggling to push Clark off) Clark!

As the two men struggle for control of the g*n, Clark manages to spin Jonathan around and push him into the wall. Jonathan knocks his back hard against the edge of Lex's built in bookshelves and slumps to the ground, unconcious.

Clark: (kneeling next to Jonathan) Dad! You OK?

Desiree looks down and sees Lex climbing to his feet behind his desk. He looks at her in anger and rushes toward her. She quickly grabs a decanter of scotch from the bar and raises it to strike him. Lex turns slightly to protect himself, and she smashes the decanter across his back, soaking his shirt with the scotch. She then grabs a lighter (the stick kind you use for fireplaces) off the bar and lights it, holding it toward Lex's shirt. The alcohol quickly ignites, and the back of Lex's shirt is soon ablaze. Clark glances over and sees Lex struggling to his feet, his shirt engulfed in flames.

Lex: (screaming in agony) Arghhh! Clark!

Clark rushes over as Lex struggles to pull the shirt off, continuing to scream in agony. Clark sees Desiree trying to flee, and quickly turns his heat vision on the door, heating the doorknob up to the point that it glows. Just as he does so, Desiree puts her hand on the doorknob, and screams as the heated up doorknob burns her hand.

Clark grabs some draperies off the wall and throws them over Lex, knocking him to the ground as he smothers out the flames. He checks to make sure Lex is OK. Lex looks up and sees Clark, and the two men stare at each other for a second, before Lex closes his eyes in relief.

Cut to a sh*t of the outside of the Kent farmhouse on a sunny day. We go inside the kitchen and see Martha, wearing potholders, pulling two pans of muffins from the oven. As she turns around, she almost knocks over Clark, who grabs one of the hot pans (not wearing potholders of course, but showing no reaction to the heat) and sets it on the table.

Martha: (relieved) Oh! Thanks Clark. It's good to have you back.

Clark: (grabbing a muffin) Well, it's nice to see something other than jail food.

Jonathan enters the kitchen, wiping his brow.

Jonathan: Well, I just got off the phone with Ethan. After Lex's statement, the arson...Ow! (grabs a muffin and nearly drops it because it is so hot) The arson charges have been dropped. And from what Ethan said, I think we've seen the last of Desiree Atkins.

Clark: (concerned) What about my escape?

Jonathan: Well, considering your age, and the fact that you did save Lex Luthor's life, they're willing to let you off with a stern warning. (sipping some lemonade) We're very lucky this time, son.

Clark sighs in relief.

Martha: Did Lex say anything about...what happened?

Jonathan: I think we'd both like to put that way...behind us.

Martha rubs Jonathan's arm in understanding.

Jonathan: Now, Mrs. Kent, if you are finished here, I would like to take you out to dinner. Solo, if you don't mind Clark.

Clark shakes his head and grins at his parents.

Clark: I don't mind.

Cut to a sh*t of the Kent farm at night. We drift upwards into the loft and see Clark stretched out in a hammock, reading "Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury. We hear footsteps, and soon see Lex climbing the stairs to the loft.

Lex: Clark. I was hoping I'd find you.

Clark climbs out of the hammock.

Clark: Hey Lex. How you feelin'?

Lex: (sighing) Like I'm waking up from a bad dream.

Clark: (sympathetically) You really loved her, didn't you?

Lex: I thought I did.

Lex walks over to gaze out of the loft window.

Lex: I filed for an annulment, which my lawyers tell me should be final in a couple of days. I'll let the police deal with Desiree.

Clark: (tossing his book down on the hammock and walking toward Lex) And when that's finished?

Lex: Try to be more cautious. I let my passion get the best of me. I won't make that mistake again.

Clark: Lex...I don't think having passion is such a bad thing.

Lex: You're right, Clark. Passion for life and work and friends is great. As long as you keep it in check. I should take a page out of your book.

Clark looks at Lex questioningly.

Clark: How do you mean?

Lex: The way you deal with Lana. I've always told you to go for it, but you don't. Even now that the quarterback's out of the picture.

Clark: (chuckling) Well, I want to, believe me. But Lana needs to work out her feelings for Whitney first. I can wait.

Lex: (dryly) Don't wait too long.

Lex claps Clark on the shoulder, and leaves the loft.

Cut to a sh*t seen through a videocamera viewfinder. It's Lana, recording her message to Whitney.

Lana: Hi, Whitney. Uh, I've been trying to get this done, but it's been a *crazy* week.

We pull back away from the viewfinder to see Lana in the Talon, speaking to the camera.

Lana: Still, in a way I'm glad, because it's given me the chance to think about what I need to say.

A knock on the door interrupts Lana. She turns to see who it is, then reaches over and switches off the camera. She heads to the door and unlocks it, opening it to let Clark step inside.

Lana: Hey, Clark!

Clark: Hi, Lana. I thought I'd give you a hand with the repairs.

Lana: Thanks! Umm...good news is, I think we're almost ready for our grand re-opening.

Clark: What's the bad news?

Lana: I still can't figure out how to use the new expresso machine.

Cut to a sh*t of a new state of the art expresso machine, complete with all the bells and whistles.

Clark: Looks very...Italian.

Lana: It's a gift from Lex. Along with roses, and an offer to rework our partnership agreement so that this could never happen again.(tosses her keys on the counter and takes a seat) Lex told me what happened with Miss Atkins and your dad. It's lucky you were there. (pauses) It's funny how she managed to seduce *everyone* but you.

Clark just shrugs

Clark: Yeah, I guess she just wasn't my type.

Lana: (a bit suspiciously) And the jailhouse? How did you manage your escape?

Clark: Well, there was a f*re. And the sheriff opened the door and I guess I just made a run for it.

Lana: Three fires. You were there all three times.

Clark just smiles nervously.

Clark: Weird coincidence, huh?

Lana: Or just part of the mystery that is Clark Kent.

Clark just looks at Lana, trying to find a way to change the subject. His eyes fall on the video camera, and he indicates to it.

Clark: How's it going with the tape for Whitney.

Lana: (sighs) I decided to tell him how I really feel.

Clark: What happened to putting on a brave face?

Lana: Wasn't fair to either of us. I haven't been honest about my feelings. I know it's gonna hurt and my timing is crummy, but...having a relationship that's built on secrets and lies is doomed to fail. (Lana studies Clark for a moment) Don't you think so, Clark?

Clark just nods.

Clark: Absolutely.

From outside, we hear the sound of rain as a summer storm starts.

Lana: (sighs) Looks like the heat wave is finally broken. (smiles at Clark) I'm glad.

Clark: Yeah. Me too. (indicates the camera) I should let you finish.

Lana and Clark study each other for a moment, before Clark breaks the silence.

Clark: Bye Lana.

Lana: Bye.

Clark turns and leaves the Talon, and Lana watches him and sighs. She turns back to the video camera and turns it on, gathering her courage. She takes a deep breath, then presses the record button, and we see the viewfinder switch on. Lana looks into the camera and smiles sadly, then begins speaking. As she talks, the sh*t drifts down so that we are again watching her through the viewfinder of the camcorder.

Lana: Whitney. I care about you very much. And I always will. But we promised that we'd be honest with each other. And the truth is...

(Fade to black. End of show.)

************************************************************************

This Episode of Smallville featured music by:

"Tomorrow" by Avril Lavigne

"A Little Less Conversation" by JXL vs Elvis

"Truth Or Dare" by N.E.R.D.

"Hot In Herre" by Nelly

"My Friends Over You" by New Found Glory

********************************************************************************

Transcribed by: Shannen a.k.a BuckeyeFan

Betaed by: June
{"type": "series", "show": "Smallville", "episode": "02x02 - Heat"}