(Scene opens on the backstage of a school concert/talent show)

Magician boy on stage: Welcome to the world of illusion. What is real and what is magic. This is what you will wonder as I perform feats that will astound you! As you see there's nothing up my sleeves. And this hat... just an ordinary old hat. Watch as I wave three times above the hat and whisper the magic words; and now... [A bouquet of flowers pops out of the hat.]

[The camera pans to a side of the stage where a mother (Kayla) is with her 2 daughters (Dory and Nicky). She's fixing one of their dresses.]

Dory: Mom it's not working! It's ripped!

Kayla: It's okay baby, it's just a little tear.

Dory: Hurry up, mom!

Kayla: [Turns to Nicky.] What are you so worried about?

Nicky: Sally's going to make fun of us.

Kayla: Sally Ayerson?

[Nicky nods.]

Dory: She said her mom bought her dress as Bloomingdales. You had to make ours. We're going to look stupid!

Kayla: Do you girls remember that music we were listening to yesterday? That lady who sang about respect?

Nicky: Retha?

Kayla: Aretha. That's right. Do you think she had lots of money growing up in Detroit?

Dory: What's Detroit?

Kayla: It's a city. The point is that she's one of the best singers ever. If Sally's mean to you again I'm just going to have to key her daddy's new convertible.

[The girls look confused by this.]

Kayla: Do you know what that means? [The girls shake their heads.] Good.

[The girls start their performance on stage, dancing and singing. Kayla is now in the crowd watching the performance. Kayla looks uncomfortable and pops a pill, but a second later she starts crying out in pain. Performance stops as she continues crying out loudly in pain.]

(Six Months Later)

[Stacy walks in through the hospital doors.]

Cuddy: Hey.

Stacy: Hey.

Cuddy: Did you speak to Chase and House yet? The disciplinary hearing.

Stacy: The McGinley case. That's not for two weeks.

Cuddy: Tomorrow. Scheduling disaster, you don't want to hear it. You gotta get the boys okay to move the hearing up, and you gotta do that whole legal advice thing.

Stacy: Can you ask someone else?

Cuddy: I'm asking you.

Stacy: Let me work with Chase. House should have separate counsel.

Cuddy: Stop looking for whatever you're looking for. For the last month, House has been crowing that you can't work with him because you're just swooning in love.

Stacy: There is nothing approaching love in what I feel about him right now.

Cuddy: Well if you can't work with him, it amounts to the same thing.

Stacy: [Sighs.] We had a fight. It's awkward. Why not use another lawyer?

Cuddy: Because 40% of our lawsuits last year were about House. You can't work with him, you can't work here.

(Cut to House and Wilson in House's office playing a game involving tossing a coin over a chain-link of paperclips and into the other's cupped hands - looks fun!)

House: She's over-reacting.

Wilson: You snuck into her shrink's office and read her private file. When Nixon did that, he got impeached.

House: So you're saying I'm not allowed to have oral sex with an intern either?

Wilson: [Scores a coin in House's hands.] Yes! And yes.

House: The file got me on the floor of her attic with her pouring out her soul. The only thing I did wrong was get caught. [He tosses the coin and it almost hits Wilson's face.]

Stacy: [Walking into the office carrying a handful of papers.] Where's Chase?

House: He's too busy to service you until after work. I got a couple of minutes though. Feel free to say something like "What'll we do with the time left over?" Or you could just stew. That works as well. [He turns to Wilson.] She stews before she gets violent.

Stacy: [Throws the pieces of paper on to the table in front of House.] This one says you're okay with moving the disciplinary hearing to tomorrow. This one says I've advised you of your legal rights.

House: Uh huh, any legal rights I should know about?

Stacy: Nope. [Angrily tosses her pen on to the table, Wilson winces.]

House: Great. [To Wilson.] And you thought this was going to be awkward. [He signs the papers.]

(Cut to Stacy with Chase in a meeting room)

Stacy: You shouldn't sign it. Postponing is almost always the smart thing to do. Tempers cool, memories fade.

Chase: They rule on me it's done, right?

Stacy: Yeah, but...

Chase: Then let's get it over with. [He signs the paper.]

Stacy: Have you ever done a peer review before?

Chase: No.

Stacy: Good. Here's a misnomer - these are your bosses. This will cost you some money, some privileges, or it could cost you your career.

Chase: All I can tell them is what happened.

Stacy: There's an objective reality to what happened and that committee is never going to know it. All they're going to know is what they picture happened, which depends a little on what you tell them, and a whole lot on HOW you tell them. May 11th.

Chase: Patient presented to the clinic--

Stacy: What's her name?

Chase: It's in the file.

Stacy: Do you know it? [Chase makes a sign saying of course he does.] Then use it.

Chase: Kayla presented to the clinic with multiple joint and stomach pain. Dr Foreman was called in for a neurological consult.

[Flashback scene of Foreman doing a test on Kayla involving her having to point to one of Foreman's fingers and then pointing to her own nose.]

Sam (Kayla's brother): What's the point of this, man?

Foreman: Checking your sister's cerebral coordination.

Sam: The thing is in her leg and her stomach. Wait in the clinic for six hours so she can play patty cake?

Foreman: She could have gone to the ER last night.

Sam: Oh yeah? You wanna come over and baby-sit her kids?

[Stacy's voice cuts into the scene.]

Stacy: Ok, patient comes from a family of jerks, I get it. Can you stick to the medicine?

[Back to the flashback; Foreman is looking at Kayla's eyes.]

Sam: Something wrong?

[Kayla's eyes are red, looked inflamed.]

Chase: There was some uveitis.

Stacy: Meaning?

Chase: Her iris? The color part of her eye was inflamed.

Stacy: Meaning?

Chase: Worst case, blindness, [He's pouring glasses of water for himself and for Stacy.] but there was an upside. It was weird enough to get House interested.

[Flashback scene is now of House and ducklings in the conference room.]

Cameron: Young woman, joint pain. Gonorrhea is a possibility.

Foreman: It's probably articular; maybe rheumatoid.

Cameron: It's typically small joints, this h*t her knee.

Foreman: Takayasu's arthritis.

[House is trying to open his bottle of vicodin; he knocks it against the metal frame of the whiteboard.]

House: Get a sed rate and serologies. [He keeps struggling as he can't get the lid open.] Child proof. How many kids are hopped up on vicodin?

Foreman: Gimme.

House: Right, like I'd ever get it back. Chase. [He tosses the bottle to Chase.]

Stacy: Don't care about the vicodin.

[The bottle of vicodin freezes in mid-air, and then disappears with a slight popping noise.]

[Flashback scene continues.]

Cameron: Might not just be her arteries, could be all her blood vessels.

Chase: Vasculitis, with stomach pain... so Behcet's.

Foreman: No, she'd have oral sores.

House: Or genital. [To Chase.] Go find them.

[As Chase is about to leave, the flashback freezes.]

Stacy: I thought she was Foreman's patient, why did you do the exam?

[Flashback goes back again.]

[Chase is now struggling to open the bottle of vicodin.]

Foreman: She'd have oral sores.

House: Or genital. Go find them.

[Foreman is about to leave when Chase opens the bottle of vicodin, splattering the pills all over the table.]

House: Whoa, whoa Foreman... Chase can handle the pelvic.

[Flashback scene of Chase checking Kayla for genital sores; Kayla looks very embarrassed and has her hands covering up her face.]

Chase: Any pain? [Kayla nods.] Is it bad? [She looks like she's shaking her head but seems unsure.] This will go a little easier if you talk to me.

Kayla: [Puts her hands down.] I'm sorry. I umm... I just really hate hospitals.

Chase: When I was 12, had my tonsils out. Got to skip school, lots of ice cream; made me want to be a doctor.

Kayla: My mom... died when I was 8 so... I spent months at Princeton General.

Chase: [Checks her file.] She died of DTs? Your mom? [Kayla nods.] Bottles stashed around the house? Mood swings? That whole deal?

Kayla: You've been there?

Chase: My mom. Dad left, mom crawled inside a bottle. Made for a great Yr 12 of high school.

Kayla: You ok with your dad now?

Chase: No.

[Stacy suddenly cuts into the flashback.]

Stacy: Does your dad have anything to do with this story?

[We see Stacy and Chase talking again in the meeting room.]

Chase: No, it's just...

Stacy: Okay, I get it, the two of you bonded, which is why you probably haven't been sued. Patients never sue doctors they like. But keep it brief, ok? The panel doesn't like to think they're being manipulated when they're being manipulated.

Chase: She had some ulceration.

Stacy: Confirming Behcet's?

Chase: I gave her some prednisone, an antacid and I ran a pathergy test on her arm; takes 24 hours to confirm. Told her any doctor could check it out.

Stacy: You didn't make an appointment?

Chase: Nope. She just showed up.

[Flashback scene, Chase is talking on the phone at the desk in the clinic, we see Kayla walking into the clinic in the background.]

Chase: [On the phone.] Uh huh.

Kayla: Dr. Chase.

Chase: [Putting down the phone, he looks happy and hyped up.] Hi. All right, let's take a look. [Kayla pulls up her sleeve to reveal a pustule.] Okay, those little pustules mean it's positive. Talk to Nurse Previn; get an appointment with Dr. Broston in rheumatology. Behcet's is very treatable. You're going to be fine.

Kayla: Okay. Thanks.

[Chase smiles and walks out, scene changes back to Stacy with Chase in the meeting room.]

Stacy: And you were just chatting on the phone to someone and she just happened to run into you.

Chase: That's what happened.

Stacy: No appointment? No real examination?

Chase: Just gave her the test results.

Stacy: So, lower standard of care, you really couldn't be expected to notice there was anything else wrong.

Chase: We didn't even go into an exam room.

Stacy: [Pause.] As your lawyer, I can't stop you from lying, I can't even be in the room, but I would be remiss if I didn't prep you until I'm better. [Takes up a piece of paper and hands it over to Chase.] You wrote her a prescription, which means there was an examination. What really happened?

Chase: I was on the phone.

[Flashback scene starts again with Chase on the phone, only this time, Chase looks rather distraught.]

Kayla: [Walks into the clinic.] Dr. Chase? Hi.

Chase: [Turns around, looks at her blankly.] Hi.

Kayla: Kayla. I'm here for the test... my arm? [She pulls up her sleeve.]

Chase: Oh. [He distractedly puts down the phone.] Oh yeah... umm, okay. [He looks at her arm.] It's positive. Talk to Nurse Previn; get an appointment with Dr. Broston in rheumatology. [He starts to walk out.]

Kayla: I took that medicine you gave me? But my stomach still hurts.

Chase: [Pauses at the door and turns back looking rather fed up. He digs out his pad and pen and writes her a prescription.] Behcet's can be stronger than we thought, or it could be reflux from the prednisone. This is a stronger antacid. [He starts walking out again.]

Kayla: Doctor...

Chase: [Turns around.] Yes?

Kayla: [Pauses.] Nothing.

[Chase walks out, she watches him go.]

Stacy: You didn't ask her anything about the stomach pain?

[Scene goes back to the meeting room.]

Chase: I made one little mistake.

Stacy: As little mistakes go, that was a biggie.

(Scene cuts to House and Wilson walking down the corridor together)

Wilson: She's only advising Chase? Not you?

House: Well what's the committee going to do to me? I haven't even met this patient.

Wilson: Your disdain for human interaction doesn't exculpate you, it inculpates you. Besides the charts, you're responsible for everything Chase does.

House: Which is why this doesn't matter; she protects Chase, she protects me.

Wilson: Unless her advice to Chase is to make a deal and give you up. [He fakes a VERY bad Australian accent.] "I'm so sorry, if only Dr. House had paid attention, he'd never even met her, he never does."

House: Chase loves me. And isn't Turkish.

Wilson: Cameron loves you. Chase loves his job.

House: [Is about to enter an exam room in the clinic.] You really think Stacy hates me that much?

Wilson: I think right now she hates you more than enough. You think emotion only affects doctors' judgments?

[House pops a vicodin.]

(Scene cuts back to the meeting room)

Stacy: Everything stems from that one interaction; they're going to slam you on it. Were you distracted? Your problem? Overworked, that's their problem. Forgetful, yours, lazy--

Chase: I just figured the stomach pain was the Behcet's. Any doctor would have thought the same.

Stacy: Then why did you call her an hour after she left the clinic? Nurse Previn said you asked her to have Kayla come back in.

Chase: The way she hesitated I thought she might have had a doorknob question. [Stacy has no idea what that means.] Patient comes in, says he's got a sniffly nose; you examine him for 10 minutes right? Then you're leaving, hand on the doorknob, and he says "Oh yeah and my penis has turned green".

Stacy: Embarrassing question, only important when patient saves it for last, so you knew she was about to ask the most important question... and you left.

Chase: No. I didn't. I figured it out later.

Stacy: What changed?

Chase: [Shrugs.] Nothing.

Stacy: Bad answer.

Chase: I wasn't thinking clearly at first.

Stacy: Worst answer. What was her doorknob question?

Chase: I figured it might be blood in her stool, which could indicate a bleeding ulcer.

[Flashback, paramedics are wheeling a bloody Kayla with a gas mask on into the hospital.]

Chase: [Rushing down the corridor to join them.] Talk to me.

Paramedic: 35-yr-old female vomiting massive amounts of blood. LOC at work, BP 80 over 20, heart rate 140.

Chase: Push fluids?

Paramedic: Three liters in the field, and we're boosting another one right now. It's gotta be a bleeding ulcer, doc. Co-worker says that she's been eating ibuprofens like candy.

Foreman: I thought she had Behcet's.

Paramedic: 1, 2, 3 [Lifts Kayla on to a gurney.]

Chase: [Prepares a wire and slips it in through Kayla's mouth and into her stomach. We see the camera at the end of the wire move down into her stomach.] I'm in her stomach. There's too much blood, I can't see.

Foreman: She burst an artery?

Chase: [We suddenly see the ulcer on the screen.] No, there. Bubbling, just a bad ulcer. Cauterizing.

Foreman: Can't see, use more saline.

Chase: Hold on! Okay, [Sighs.] looks good.

[House shows up.]

Chase: Bleeding ulcer. We got it. She was fine 2 hours ago.

[Alarms start beeping.]

Foreman: Systolic BP's 70.

House: Where's the ulcer?

Chase: It's brown. I cauterized it. It must be something else. [He moves the wire around until they see another bleeding ulcer which looks worse than the first.] There.

Foreman: Second ulcer?

House: Not anymore. It perforated.

Chase: Get her to an OR!

[Scene cuts back to the meeting room.]

Chase: The surgeons were able to suture the perforation. But the contents of the patient's- [Stacy looks up at him.] Kayla's stomach had spilled into her body. She got septic.

Stacy: Then the infection lowers her blood pressure...

Chase: 50 over palp at one point. It damaged her liver and kidneys. Listen, I know this looks bad, I obviously got the diagnosis wrong but I did everything by the book. I couldn't have known what was going to happen.

Stacy: If I skip my coffee I get cranky. Do you want anything?

[Chase shakes his head and Stacy walks out of the meeting room as they take a break.]

(Scene cuts to Stacy walking with Cameron down the hallway)

Stacy: Why did Chase screw up?

Cameron: He forgot to ask her a question, does there need to be a reason?

Stacy: It might help him.

Cameron: As far as I'm concerned, he made a little mistake. It happens.

Stacy: How far are you concerned?

Cameron: You think I'm biased?

Stacy: You're colleagues. You've worked together for over a year. And everyone says you slept together.

Cameron: [Clears her throat.] Who says?

Stacy: The correct answer is "We're not involved and I'm not biased".

Cameron: We're not involved; and I don't know why he messed up. House has worked with him longer than I have. You should talk to House.

Stacy: Yeah. Why did Chase screw up?

(Scene changes, we see she's in a lab, camera pans up and we see she's just asked that question to Foreman.)

Foreman: Because he doesn't give a crap about patients.

Stacy: Well he always gets positive patient reviews.

Foreman: Yeah. He smiles all 84 of his teeth, tells them his tonsil story.

Stacy: It's a nice story.

Foreman: He still has his tonsils! As soon as he's out of the room, which is as soon as he can be out of the room, he starts in on the trash talk. Thinks not giving a crap makes him like House. Like it's something to aspire to. [Stacy nods.] Am I going to have to testify?

Stacy: I won't be encouraging them to call you.

Foreman: What'd House say?

(Scene cuts to the clinic, patient is coughing.)

[House is checking the man out with his stethoscope.]

Patient: Two months like this.

House: Let me guess, no insurance, just heard about the free clinic. It's a good move. You don't want to skimp on the essentials like wristwatches, MP3 players...

[Door suddenly opens, Stacy stands at the door.]

Stacy: I need to talk to you.

House: From the doorway?

Stacy: It's confidential.

House: Cool. I love gossip. [He puts the ear pieces of his stethoscope into the patient's ears and lets the patient hear his own lungs.] Hear that crackling sound like crumpling up paper? Keep listening. Let me know if it changes.

[He sits down on his stool and looks perfectly content to stay there. Stacy walks in and shuts the door.]

Stacy: Two questions. Why did Chase screw up and how bad was it?

House: Wow. Talk about efficient. I only need one answer - Chase didn't screw up.

Stacy: He said he did.

House: Well I'm not a lawyer, but that seems like a sucky legal strategy.

Stacy: Look I don't wanna know what you think a reasonable doctor would have done in Chase's position.

House: If I thought he was a 'reasonable' doctor, I wouldn't have hired him.

Stacy: God you two are a couple of geniuses. Deny everything; completely fool the lawyer who's trying to help you. Too bad the review committee members are actually doctors.

[She starts to walk out the door.]

House: Stacy.

[She walks back, House sighs.]

[Flashback - again we see Chase trying to cauterize the ulcer.]

Chase: I'm in her stomach. There's too much blood, I can't see.

Foreman: She burst an artery?

Chase: No. There. Bubbling, just a bad ulcer. Okay, cauterizing; looks good.

[House walks up.]

Chase: Bleeding ulcer, we've got it. She was fine 2 hours ago.

House: If by 'fine', you mean she had fountains of blood spurting out of every orifice then yeah, I believe you.

[Alarms start ringing.]

House: I'm guessing those are celebratory bells.

Foreman: Systolic BP's 70.

House: Show me the ulcer.

Chase: It's brown. I cauterized it.

House: Sweep back, show me the whole stomach. [Chase sweeps the camera back.] Stop.

Foreman: Second ulcer?

House: Not anymore. It perforated.

Chase: Get her to an OR!

Foreman: Let's go. [The nurses wheel Kayla after him.]

[House confronts Chase.]

House: She was not fine 2 hours ago. She mentioned stomach pain?

Chase: Yeah, so I gave her a stronger--

House: You didn't do an exam.

Chase: She just came in for a follow-up. The results of the pathergy test.

House: Did you listen to her stomach? Check her vitals?

Chase: Maybe if she'd said something about taking ibuprofen, mentioned the rectal bleeding!

House: Yeah, why didn't she go to med school like you did?! Diarrhea! Blood in the stool! These are routine questions--

Chase: Doctors skip all the time! It was a minor mistake; I couldn't have known this was going to happen--

House: Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause! This woman could die because you were too lazy to ask one simple question!

Chase: She might die because I had the bad luck to spill your damn vicodin pills!

[House turns to the camera.]

House: And I responded with a number of trenchant remarks which made Chase cry, none of which I'm going to testify about.

[Scene cuts back to House and Stacy in the clinic.]

House: Unless you convince Chase to roll on me.

Patient: Excuse me, testify about what?

House: Uhh... [Checks the patient's file.] Chuck. I'm going to break from the parable of the wicked doctor and tell a little story about a patient. Let's call him... Buck, who has low O2 stats and crackling lung sounds.

Chuck: Like I have?

House: Buck has idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. His lung tissue's turning to rock. There's no known cause, no treatment. He is slowly suffocating.

Chuck: You're talking about me?

House: Lung transplant's about a half a million dollars, but this poor sucker's got no insurance. If he tried to sign up now, he'd be excluded, pre-existing condition. But let me confirm with my lawyer [He turns to Stacy who doesn't respond.]. She confirms. If only Buck hadn't been diagnosed with fibrosis before he got insurance. So... back to the exam.

[Chuck looks scared and shocked and wordlessly leaves the clinic.]

Stacy: That's how you tell this guy he's dying?

House: Oh relax. He's got a cold, and soon, health insurance.

Stacy: Such a hero; always righting wrongs. Who cares who you have to manipulate.

House: I'm sorry. I didn't realize you and Buck were so close. [Walks out of the exam room.]

Stacy: It's a point of principle.

House: Right. It's got nothing to do with what I did to you.

Stacy: There's nothing for us to talk about.

House: [Takes some lollipops from the clinic counter and puts them in his pocket.] That's why you're following me. I read some notes--

Stacy: If Chase screwed up--

House: I was wrong. Terribly, terribly, sorry.

Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you f*re him?

House: He has great hair.

Stacy: [Grabbing on to House's arm to stop him from walking away.] What are you hiding?

House: I'm gay. Oh, that's not what you meant. It does explain a lot though. No girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers...

[Stacy gives up and walks away.]

(Scene cuts to Stacy walking back into the meeting room and putting a cup of coffee on the table for Chase.)

Stacy: Diarrhea, blood in the stool. Two simple questions you could have asked her six months ago and averted this whole thing. You didn't ask either, why?

Chase: [Rolling up his shirtsleeves.] Judging from your question, and your demeanour, I assume you were visiting with House. Been over this, I don't know.

Stacy: Good doctors don't make mistakes--

Chase: Good doctors never forget to ask questions? Then you've got your answer, apparently I'm not a good doctor!

Stacy: FYI self-pity generally is not a good strategy in these hearings. What happened after the operation?

[Flashback - Kayla's resting after the op, Cameron and Chase are talking to her brother, Sam]

Cameron: The kidney damage isn't so bad. The liver damage is more worrisome. There's no dialysis for livers.

Sam: I know, but if she loses her liver she can get a transplant, right?

Chase: We can put her on a list.

Sam: I could do it. I could give her part of my liver.

Cameron: Surgeons won't operate unless the donor's had a long time to weigh the decision.

Sam: There's black markets.

Cameron: Those organs--

[They're interrupted by Kayla giving a loud cry of pain from the bed behind him, alarms start beeping.]

Kayla: Ooh... ohhh my stomach!

Chase: The pain constant?

Kayla: Ohhh... oh yeah!

Chase: Sharp or dull?

Kayla: Oh I don't know!

Chase: It's bad.

[Cameron starts to do an ultrasound and squirts gel on to Kayla's abdomen.]

Cameron: It's a little cold. Appendicitis?

Chase: No, it's a clot.

Cameron: Nurse! Call the OR; we've got to prep her for an embolectomy.

Chase: A CVC, PT and a liver panel. [He calls out over Kayla's moans of pain.]

[Cut back to meeting room.]

Chase: Sepsis had lowered her BP so much she got clots in her liver. They blocked the hepatic artery, cut off the blood flow. Her liver was shocked.

Stacy: And Cuddy listed her? With all the other problems?

[Chase nods, flashback - House and Chase in Cuddy's office, Cuddy is looking at Kayla's file.]

Cuddy: Forget it. We can't give a liver to a woman this sick.

House: Do you listen to what you're saying?

Cuddy: There is no point in giving a new liver to somebody who also has vasculitis.

Chase: Treatable.

Cuddy: And kidney damage.

Chase: It's healing.

House: You know what's really k*lling her? Chase forgot to ask a standard question about stomach pain, so he missed the diagnosis, so she perforated, so she got sepsis, so her BP t*nk, so she got blood clots, so she lost her liver. [Chase is facepalming and looking very dejected.] Livers are important, Cuddy; can't live without them, hence the name. And here's the big issue, Chase is a hospital employee, and Kayla is the sympathetic mother of those 2 jury-friendly moppets Caleb and Cody.

Chase: Dory and Nicky.

Cuddy: Your point, beyond just trying to make Chase wet himself seems to be that the hospital faces liability here. Well thanks for clearing that up. I still need a medical reason to list her.

House: That is a medical reason! [Cuddy's confused.] The family wins this hospital in a lawsuit; they'll turn it into condos. And people will die waiting outside a condo for medical care.

[Cuddy capitulates.]

Cuddy: Start praying for a 12-car pile-up on the turnpike 'cause we're not exactly swimming in livers over here. [She signs the paper.]

(Cut back to the meeting room)

Stacy: When you're testifying, skip the details on how House convinced Cuddy. I don't think the people who got bumped down the transplant list need to know why.

Chase: It didn't matter anyway.

[Flashback - Chase and Foreman talking to Sam outside Kayla's room.]

Sam: She next on the list?

Chase: Yes.

Foreman: But she's AB negative. Very rare.

Sam: How long can she go on like this?

Foreman: Probably another day or two.

Sam: [Takes a file out of his backpack.] I'm donating my liver.

Chase: Sam, we've talked about this.

Sam: I'm a perfect match; 6 out of 6 HLA proteins.

Foreman: How'd you get checked out so fast?

Sam: I know a guy in medical testing and I paid him to rush it.

Stacy: Sam bribed someone to rush his test?

Chase: Wouldn't you?

Stacy: Someone's going to get the blame for what happened, so the more we spread it around... might as well--- you said no surgeon would do a live donor transplant on such short notice.

Chase: House took care of that too.

(Scene cuts to a flashback of House talking with transplant surgeon, Dr Ayersman.)

Ayersman: Your patient's hardly clotting.

House: Sub-Q vitamin K and fresh frozen plasma pre-op.

Ayersman: Pretty risky.

House: Well that's why I came to the best transplant surgeon in the hospital. She's d*ad without you.

Ayersman: [Smiles.] Get her in this afternoon.

House: [Sighs.] Thank you very much.

Ayersman: My pleasure.

[They warmly shake hands, the scene freezes.]

[Scene cuts to Stacy facing House in the clinic exam room again.]

Stacy: And this was right before you ran the marathon, I suppose?

House: Was it the part where he warmly clasped my hands in thanks, was that too much?

Stacy: What'd you do to him?

House: The hospital lawyer asks me if I did something unethical. If I did, the last person I tell is the hospital lawyer, especially since she's gone all 'old testament' on me.

Stacy: You'll tell me.

House: Oh. Ok then. One caveat, I've moved past threesomes. I'm now into foursomes. If someone backs out then you've still got a threesome. [Stacy's glaring at House at this point.] If two people back out, you're still having sex. You'd be amazed. Even if three people--

Stacy: Anything you say is attorney-client. So you can get advice about the bad, bad thing you did, knowing I'll be tortured because I can't tell a soul.

House: [He winks.] Actually, it is kinda cool.

[House and Stacy are now transported into a replay of the flashback. They're standing in Ayersman's office even as Ayersman and House are talking about doing the transplant.]

Ayersman: Are you completely out of your mind? She's dying on her own, why would I volunteer to be her executioner? [House hands him an envelope.] I'd just be inviting a lawsuit from the brother, no matter what! [He opens the envelope, there's money inside.]

House: 5 grand. And that's just ante money. After the surgery, you get another 15. Though I warn you, that includes the tip.

Ayersman: [Laughs scornfully.] I make 600 grand a year; you think I'm going to risk t*nk my percentages for 20 thousand? [He throws the envelope down on the table.]

House: [Shrugs.] It's tax free.

Ayersman: For the record, I hope the department takes you and Chase and drop-kicks both your asses out the back door.

House: [Nods.] Great; [He pockets the envelope.] means I don't have to bother welshing on the 15 grand I would have owed you. If you don't do the surgery, [He starts to walk away.] I'm going to tell your wife that you've been sleeping with a series of nurses. Currently Nurse Cutler in Radiology. Now what's 600 grand divided by two?

[House looks thoughtful, Ayersman looks shocked.]

House: Last Christmas party, Nurse Cutler handed you one of those little hotdogs. And you didn't thank her. Well that only happens when you're very, very intimate. That and the fact that you've been practically dancing around with your zipper open, used condom stuck in your shoe. [He walks over to pick up a sweet in a bowl nonchalantly.] Your wife is apparently the only one who doesn't know.

Ayersman: There is no way you'll tell her.

House: Of course I won't. I'm much too cowardly. [Ayersman looks defeated.] No, I'd just send an anonymous letter. Now I've uh... I've got an OR booked for 4 this afternoon. Are you free? [Eats the sweet.]

[Ayersman closes his eyes and grimaces but nods.]

House: Hmm. Oh, and for the record, you are the worst transplant surgeon in this hospital. But unfortunately, you're the only one who's currently cheating on his wife. [He walks out, passing by the figures of himself and Stacy watching the scene.]

[Scene cuts back to Stacy and House in the exam room.]

Stacy: You bribed him and then you blackmailed him?!

House: She'd have been d*ad in 2 days if I hadn't made Ayersman do the surgery.

Stacy: Leave the blackmail out of the story you tell the committee.

House: Tried to leave it out of the story I told you.

Stacy: And then there was that incident in the parking lot.

[Scene cuts to a blond woman in a tight dress keying Ayersman's brand new red convertible.]

Ayersman: Hey now! Don't do that! Hey what are you nuts?! Please, please! I didn't do it! I didn't do anything!

[Scene cuts back to exam room.]

House: Apparently, someone sent an anonymous letter to his wife.

Stacy: You blackmailed Ayersman before he performed the surgery and then you ratted him out anyway?!

House: Doesn't seem fair, does it?

Stacy: You just can't control yourself, can you? No matter how stupid, how self-destructive--

House: To make this conversation easier, can we discard the fiction that we're talking about anything other than what I did to you? You're not mad because I broke into your psychiatrist's office.

Stacy: Yeah, I was thrilled about that.

House: Okay, it was a lousy thing to do, but if what I'd found was that everything was all kittens and moonbeams in Markville, you'd be over it.

Stacy: No I wouldn't!

House: You're mad at me for letting you know what I did because you liked where things were going. And for that I actually am sorry. It was stupid. [Stacy turns and leaves, House throws his head back and looks fairly heartbroken and dejected.]

[The camera turns around to see the patient in the exam room, sitting there with House's stethoscope, probably listening to her own lungs too.]

House: Let me tell you a story about a patient; [He takes the earpieces out of her ears.] the patient we'll call, [He checks her file.] Fusan.

(Scene cuts to flashback of the organ transplant operation. Chase is narrating)

Chase: Because Sam had rushed his tests, we were able to get them into surgery that afternoon. Dr Ayersman performed the live donor transplant. He resected the right lobe, hepatic vein, and hepatic artery of Sam's liver, and transplanted it into Kayla. The operation was a success. Kayla and Sam continued to receive routine care. [Chase is observing the operation from the observation deck.]

[Scene cuts back to the meeting room.]

Chase: Two months later, she came by for an exam.

Stacy: July 24th, be precise. You did the exam?

Chase: Honestly, I just wanted to--

Stacy: Honestly? So you've been lying up until now?

Chase: Let's make a deal. I won't use the word 'honestly', and you'll quit stopping by to see House so you don't take it out on me afterwards, how about that? [Stacy narrows her eyes.] I wanted to be as far away from Kayla as possible, but House was rubbing my nose in it.

[Flashback - Chase is checking up Kayla.]

Chase: How are the girls?

Kayla: They're great. Dory had her first crush, which was cute.

Chase: Oh yeah? [Measures her temperature through her ear.]

Kayla: And then her first sort of break up, which was not so cute.

Chase: You're hot. 99.3 [Checks the pulse in her throat.] You been coughing?

Kayla: No.

Chase: Pain in urinating?

Kayla: No. 99's not that high, is it?

Chase: Immunosuppressant's block fevers; you shouldn't have one at all. I'm sending a nurse in here to draw cultures, and I'm ordering a chest x-ray.

[Cut back to meeting room.]

Chase: I wasn't making any more mistakes.

Stacy: Another phrase to avoid in front of the committee.

Chase: She spikes a fever an hour later.

[Flashback - House and Ducklings in the conference room.]

Foreman: Her AST and ALT are up. She's rejecting the liver.

Chase: No, it's just an infection. One of our cultures is growing a strep.

Cameron: Just one? Probably a contaminant.

Chase: She's dehydrated, her hematocrit's way up, it's strep!

Foreman: Transaminases are up too.

Chase: It's just stress from the strep.

House: Please, Chase, you and this strep. Get a room already.

Chase: She's not rejecting the liver! It's just an infection, she'll be fine.

[Sam bursts into the conference room.]

Cameron: Worst case we could re-list her.

Sam: [Points at House] You House?

House: Umm... well that depends. Are you going to h*t [Goes to stand next to Foreman and points at him.] Dr. House? [Foreman looks at House and House stops pointing with an innocent expression on his face.]

Sam: You haven't even seen my sister and you're being cute with me?

Chase: Sam, we're talking about her right now. Her fever might--

Sam: Could be Hep B, Hep C, right? It's treatable. You give her interferon, she's ok. Right?

House: You know a lot about hepatitis.

Cameron: He just donated his liver.

House: You're flushed. You sick?

Sam: I'm tired.

House: You're hiding the fact that you're sick. Now why would you do that? [He grabs Sam's right arm which has two tattoos on the forearm.]

Sam: Hey, wait, what are you...

House: Now either you specifically asked for a tattoo of a heart that's been left out in the sun too long, or that is a really bad home job. It's a very common way of getting Hep C, which you have. You've had it a long time.

Sam: [Looking guilty. Ducklings look shocked.] It was going to keep me from giving my liver.

Foreman: You paid off that lab tech to say you were clean?!

Sam: It hasn't been active in years. She was going to die if I--

House: [Sarcastic.] You paid someone off? That is TOTALLY unethical! Get an MRI for him and his sister right now.

[Cameron and Foreman start to walk out.]

Sam: She got Hep from me, didn't she?

House: No! No, no, no, God no! [Serious.] I think she got cancer from you.

(Cut back to the meeting room)

Stacy: House was right? [She sounds a little too impressed at that.]

Chase: Brother had an undiagnosed hepatoma that was transplanted with his liver. Grew a lot faster in Kayla because she was immunosuppressed.

Stacy: How could House have known?

Chase: Hepatitis can cause liver cancer. Plus her hematocrit, red blood cell count was high. Usually means dehydration, rare cases - cancer. We probably saved Sam's life.

[Flashback - operating on Sam.]

Chase: We were able to operate on him early enough before it metastasized.

[Back to meeting room.]

Chase: Kayla had already started rejecting the liver.

Stacy: And you couldn't re-list her because of the cancer.

Chase: Nothing we could do.

Stacy: This is good; the brother lying about his Hep. It's an intervening act, the proximate cause of her cancer and not your mistake.

Chase: She would have died six months ago if he hadn't given up his liver.

Stacy: Maybe. Can't prove it. [Stacy's beeper goes off.] You need to come with me.

(Scene cuts to Cuddy's office; House, Cuddy, Chase and Stacy are present.)

Cuddy: Just been served with papers. Actually paper; one page. [She reads it.] Defendant Princeton-Plainsboro hospital and Dr Robert Chase; blah, blah, blah. Medical malpractice, negligence; blah, blah.

House: You're surprised they're suing? You think people love Chase so much they're gonna just forgo--

Cuddy: Punitive damages in the amount of 10 million dollars. [Passes the paper to Stacy.]

Stacy: Punitives?! That means they're alleging gross negligence.

Chase: Well he's obviously out of his mind!

Stacy: Larry Wusekus. He's not crazy.

House: Ooh! I've been sued by him.

Stacy: You have been hiding things and lying to me all day!

House: I haven't lied about anything. Except for the parts that I admitted I was lying about. And I'm not the one being sued. I feel funny. [He walks around to stand beside Cuddy behind her desk.]

Stacy: [Sighs.] Well what haven't you told us?

[Stacy, Cuddy and even House are staring expectantly at Chase.]

Chase: [Sighs.] Before she checked out, Sam found her a second liver.

Cuddy: She had cancer, how could she--

Chase: Black market. There was a doctor in Mexico City who was going to do the surgery.

[Flashback - Chase is putting on his jacket preparing to go with Kayla, Foreman and Cameron are trying to stop him.]

Chase: She's leaving from JFK at 5.

Foreman: To meet some Mexican guy in the back of a van with a pig's liver and a hacksaw?! This is nuts!

Chase: You want to rat me out to House? He'll say if there's a chance in a billion then go for it.

Cameron: This is not what she wants!

Foreman: She's being manipulated by a morally guilty brother and a legally guiltier doctor.

Chase: You think she wants to die?

Cameron: She's dying either way.

[Chase glares at them and prepares to walk out. Foreman grabs his arm to stop him.]

Foreman: Chase. How many people you know walking around with a black market organ from a third world surgeon, huh? This isn't going to be your salvation! It's just one more thing they'll pin on you! Go in there, be the good guy.

[Scene cuts to Sam hurrying around Kayla's room packing her stuff; Chase walks in looking somber. Kayla's sitting up on her bed. She looks pale and very sickly.]

Chase: We need to talk.

Sam: No, there's no time.

Chase: Two minutes. Kayla, I made a mistake. I wasn't as blunt as I should have been about your odds. Probably didn't want to face it myself.

Sam: Dr. Chase, please don't do this.

Chase: Stress of the travel, the operation, even then, the cancer.

Sam: Kayla, we are going!

Chase: My dad died. Lung cancer. I saw him a couple of months before it happened, we never talked about it.

Sam: I'm sorry your father died, but it has nothing--

Chase: [Not paying any attention to Sam.] He never even told me he was sick. I wish he had. It wou-- [He stops and takes a deep breath.] You're gonna die. Alone. Thousand of miles from your children, you don't want to do that to them.

[Kayla nods and looks at Sam.]

Sam: Kayla...

Kayla: [Whispers.] I'm sorry Sam.

Sam: Kayla, you can't give up; if you do this, if you go home... I k*lled you.

Kayla: [Shakes her head.] No. You gave me 3 months. You gave Dory and Nicky 3 more months with me. And when they found my cancer, they found yours; and I got to save my baby brother.

[Sam and Kayla start to cry and hug each other.]

Chase: A week later, Kayla died at home. Sam was furious. Gotta be why the big lawsuit.

Cuddy: Are you buying this?!

Stacy: Of course not; there was no illegal transplant. There's no causation.

Chase: He was ready to k*ll me! Maybe he's lying to his lawyers.

Stacy: Or you're lying to us. Last Thursday he saw you for post-op care. If you hate your doctor, you find another doctor before you find a lawyer. This guy didn't sue Cameron or Foreman. He didn't even sue House. Something personal here, something you don't want us to know before your hearing. The guy didn't hate you before that meeting, he hated you after.

[Flashback - Chase is doing a check-up on Sam.]

Chase: So how's everything else? The girls?

Sam: Ah, you know... a lot of crying, some nightmares. [Chase finishes the check-up; Sam sits up and buttons up his shirt.] We'll be ok though.

Chase: Good.

Sam: Girls are not going to be happy about leaving town though. They love that house, the yard, their friends.

Chase: You're moving?

Sam: Ever since the operation I've been on disability and there's the mortgage so... moving out of state somewhere cheaper. Anyways, thanks. [He shakes hands with Chase. As he starts to walk out--]

Chase: I k*lled your sister. I misdiagnosed her ulcer. k*lled her.

Sam: Shut up man. She liked you, just--

Chase: I was hung-over when she came back to see me. I'd been up half the night drinking, had a headache and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Couldn't have cared less what your sister was saying about her stomach pain.

[Sam angrily sweeps medical instruments off a table, Chase flinches.]

[Scene goes back to Cuddy's office. Cuddy and Stacy are silent.]

House: May I speak to my future former employee?

[House and Chase are talking alone together outside Cuddy's office.]

House: Great story.

Chase: You think I'm lying? It's exactly what I told him.

House: I'm sure it is. But you lied to him. You want him to sue you.

Chase: I k*lled his sister!

House: I ordered black coffee this morning and got cream. Everybody screws up.

Chase: They didn't put poison in your coffee.

House: I've seen you hung-over. You weren't the day you blew his sister's diagnosis.

Chase: What does it matter why? Is she less d*ad if I have a good excuse?

House: If I thought you'd screwed up because you were drunk, I would have fired you.

Chase: You knew?

House: You were depressed and distracted. I assumed you'd gotten a phone call from your stepmom.

[Flashback - to the scene where Chase picks up the phone in the clinic again, this time before Kayla walks in.]

Chase: [On the phone.] This is Robert. [He starts to get visibly distressed.] Umm... what did he die of? [Pause.] That's impossible. I saw him two months ago, if he had lung cancer, he would have... [He doesn't bother to even say goodbye as he takes the phone away from his ear, his eyes start to fill with tears.]

Kayla: [From behind him.] Dr. Chase?

[Chase puts down the phone.]

[Cut back to House and Chase.]

House: Good news is, both your parents are d*ad now so... no reason to screw up this bad again.

Chase: How'd you know?

House: There's this interconnected network of computers, or interweb where you can--

Chase: How did you know to look?

House: [Sighs.] When he visited he told me he only had two months left. When you screwed up I did the math.

Chase: Why didn't you tell me he was dying?

House: He asked me not to.

Chase: [Getting angry.] So you just hung me out there to be blindsided.

House: [Softly.] Yeah Chase, it was all my fault. Look, you got a choice. You can either tell the truth, hospital settles, family gets some money, they get to keep their house. Or you can keep up this lie, family gets punitive damages, they buy a jet, they move to Park Avenue, and you have to find another career.

Chase: You're not going to say anything?

House: I'm going to keep my mouth shut. Legally, it's better for me if you go down in flames.

(Scene cuts to House in a very nice grey suit and tie twirling his cane waiting in front of the room where Chase is going through his meeting with the disciplinary board.)

[Stacy walks up and sits down next to House.]

Stacy: Is Chase telling the committee about his dad?

House: I don't know. I thought you were going to get him to sell me out.

Stacy: I wouldn't do that.

House: Why not?

Stacy: You're my client too.

House: Yeah. And that's not going to change unless you leave this job. Or I do. So how do you deal with a coworker that you have feelings for - positive or negative. I don't want to end up like Chase, I don't want to get emotionally caught up and k*ll... you.

Stacy: It's not all negative.

[House looks up at her hopefully.]

Stacy: Maybe you were right... maybe that is the problem.

House: So what do we do?

Stacy: [She shakes her head.] I don't know.

[A doctor opens the door and invites House into the room.]

Doctor: Dr. House.

[Scene cuts to House sitting next to Chase as the committee give their ruling.]

Head Doc: After considering the testimonial and documentary evidence, this ad hoc committee in the matter of Kayla McGinley has reached a decision. Dr. Chase, your error resulted in a patient's death. You also lied, both to your superiors and the patient's brother. But taking into account the mitigating factor of your father's death, we've decided not to revoke your privileges. You'll receive one week's suspension and a letter in your permanent file. [Chase looks relieved.] Now as for Dr. House... there is no evidence of a failure to supervise that would lead to disciplinary action. And yet, there is enough in the record to be very troubled by your conduct, [House starts to look up in surprise.] including certain allegations of black mail [He rolls his eyes.] from members of the transplant team and by your general refusal to meet with your patients. It should be noted that your patient's cancer was diagnosed as the result of a direct physical examination of---

House: Not of the patient, I met the brother. Never met her. You want me to go to a family reunion every time I take on a patient?

Head Doc: The committee has determined that for no less than one month, Dr. House will have his practice supervised by another doctor, to be designated by Dr. Cuddy. This proceeding is adjourned.

[Everyone starts to leave; House continues sitting there in shock.]

(Scene cuts to House walking into the conference room where Cuddy and Wilson are waiting with the Ducklings.)

[House yanks his tie off as he enters the room.]

House: [To Cuddy.] Did you know this was coming?

Cuddy: They contacted me about an hour ago.

Cameron: What's happening to Chase?

House: [To Chase as he walks in.] Now you're fired!

Foreman: No, he's not.

Cuddy: Dr. House, meet your new boss.

[Everyone turns to look at Foreman.]

Wilson: [Pointing to Foreman.] Guess I'm his best friend now.

[House's smile turns speculative and there's a challenging gleam in his eyes.]
{"type": "series", "show": "House", "episode": "02x08 - The Mistake"}