Maggie: So you actually got the kids to agree to do their fair share of this spring cleaning?

Jason: I did.I merely pointed out their obligations as members of this family.And they were only too happy to pitch in.

Carol: Ben, Let's go!

Mike: Yeah, we need, we get a lot of work to do over there.

Ben: I'm coming, I'm coming.Hey, dad thanks for the chance to get rich.

Maggie: You bribed them.

Jason: No, I just told them they would clean out of their house the unwanted junk and they could sell any of them on the garage sale.That way we get a clean house.

Maggie: Then they get to keep all the money.

Jason: Half.It was my idea.

Ben: Hey, there is a chair with a face on it.Wow, what's the beautiful ashtray I made to dad doing out here?Dad ol' freak.He loves his ashtray.He said it was the best present he's ever got.

Mike: He was lying.

Ben: Hey, don't you think ashtray has feelings too?

Mike: I want to say I do, this puppy is in some pain.

Ben: You take that back.

Mike: No.

Ben: Yes.

Mike: No way.

Ben: Yes way.

Carol: Can we have this stupid conversation later?

Mike: Why would I wanna to do that?

Carol: Ben, put that down and we still have to take out all that junk in the basement.

Ben: Sorry, ashtray.

Ashtray: You are sorry.Pal.

Ben: Hello?Hello?Hardship ashtray?

Carol: Ben, come on!

Ashtray: The kid wards me from a simple lump of clay, breaks Mike and me and Ben a couple of years later on garbage.

Sneakers: That stinks.

Glasses: No, but you.

Glasses: I knew you are Mike's sneakers.I can feel it in the air.

Ashtray: Well, I think of all those hours I spent on Jason's desk.Listening to his nutty patients.

Sneakers: I thought belonged to Ben.

Ashtray: I was a gift from Ben to his dad.

Ben: You got a minute, mom.

Maggie: Sure, honey.

Ben: I don't have enough money to get dad anything good this year.

Maggie: Oh, Didn't you double your allowances this week?

Ben: Yeah, but, you can get anything for 4 bucks nowadays.Where you've been?

Maggie: Oh, honey, it's not how much you spent.

Ben: Tell that to Mike and Carol.

Maggie: Look, Ben, I can't afford to get your father's that Mercedez 450S as I always wanted, so I am getting him a nice fishing rod.And he knows I love him, so he'll love it, I hope.Oh, I know.For 4 dollars, you can get him some worms.

Ben: Get real, mom?I might as well just give him the stupid ashtray I made?

Maggie: Oh, that would be fine, punk, as long as it comes from your heart.

Ben: It looks like my heart.

Maggie: Ben, your father is not expecting the biggest expensive gift from you.

Ben: He isn't?

Maggie: No.Here doesn't care which I get him.

Ben: Great.

TV: Power or prayer, be on the need to get down on your knees.And ask God for anything.He shall provide.

Ben: Oh, God!

Mike: What are you doing?

Ben: I happened to be praying for money.

Mike: Ben, you can't pray for money.Believe me, I've tried.Do you actually think God's gonna send you a check or somethin'?

Ben: Amen!

Lady: Money for the needy?

Ben: Thanks.

Lady: Give me that, you little bandit.

Ben: But I am needy.

Lady: I am not giving money away, I am collecting it.Wise up!

Mike: You out there, I thought you were on to something!

Ben: But I need money.

Mike: Join the club.

Ben: But this is like for dad.

Mike: Whose?

Ben: Mine.

Mike: I am busy.

Ben: Mike.

Mike: Ok, ok.Alright, Look, Ben, I want you to take this can, and go from house to house, with that pathetic look, you could probably make a fortune.

Ben: Thanks, Mike.And thank you, God.

Mike: The bread for old geezer.

Jason: It didn't work, I am still here.

Carol: Hi, dad, open the good one first.

Mike: Thanks, carol.

Jason: Hey, guys.

Carol: How juvenile.

Mike: Carol, I mean why do you wanna disappoint the man.I mean, he is aged and can take much of that.

Jason: That settles it.I'll open Carol's first.

Carol: No, you can be so insensitive about th銆俥 problem of older people.

Jason: Ben, what did you get to me?Wow, Ben, this is fabulous.I don't know what to say.

Maggie: Neither do Ioh, I had nothing to do with this?

Jason: Oh, sure you had nothing to do with it.

Maggie: Jason, I didn't.

Jason: Ben?

Ben: Deserve things all by itself even if the needy can work out.

Jason: Where did you get this?

Ben: It from this guy next door.They throw away a lot of cases every time they spend over 300 dollars.

Mike: Ok, I've got to ask how many allowances are you giving this kid anyway?

Jason: Ben, where did you get the money?

Mike: Yeah, I am interested.

Ben: Well, see, I needed money.So I went around all the neighbor houses and I asked for money for the needy.

Mike: Whoa.

Maggie: Benjamin Seaver, where did you ever get the idea like that?

Ben: From God, and Mike.

Ben: Here's your money back.I am sorry, I lied about the charity.

Jason: It's ok, son, we're home now.

Ben: Oh.

Jason: I am proud of what you did tonight.

Ben: Oops.

Jason: Think you learned a lesson.

Ben: Uh-huh.When God gives me an idea to check with you first.

Jason: Anything else?

Ben: If you love somebody, you don't have to spend a lot on them.

Jason: That's right.Good night, Ben.

Ben: Dad?

Jason: Yeah?

Ben: Happy birthday.

Jason: Ben, It's an...

Ben: Ashtray.

Jason: I know, what I was going to say is it's the best birthday present I've got from you.

Carol's glasses: Hey, we all got our problems.

Carol's glasses: You are.

Sneakers: But how can I get soul mates?

Mike: I say good morning to God's gift to history.

Jason: You look like a guy who is ready for big history tests.

Mike: Daddy, I am just not ready.I've got it all, names, dates, and everything.I think today we'll go down the history as the day Mike Seaver turns the corner, Feb.20, 1986.

Jason: It's Feb.25th.

Ben: Hi, Dad.

Jason: Hi, Ben

Ben: This is Breakfast?

Jason: Yes.

Ben: What's for lunch?

Jason: Surprise.

Ben: A...o, I hate surprises... Why is that fitting in shoes?

Mike: Ben, It's my bag.

Ben: Why is that fitting in your shoes?

Mike: Come on, I need that.

Ben: Gandhi, Andrew Jackson, alphabetic courthouse.

Mike: Yeah, yeah, they all my buddies.I don't recite them for good luck.

Ben: You know somebody named alphabetic courthouse,?

Mike: Yeah, black guy, captain in the basketball team.

Teacher: This is multiple choice.You have 30 minutes.Say your papers will be great before your leave.You may begin.

Mike: The Final round of battle of the civil w*r was:

Mike: Hey, I actually know this stuff.

Teacher: What's perhaps the biggest shocking in my teaching career since boys studying wire airings is the highest grade in the class is 94 by Mike Seaver.

Mike: I am number one!

Mike: What can I say why I can do it?When you got it, you got it.

Teacher: Oh, now I see where you got it.

Jason: What happened?

Mike: Well, There is nothing to be said about the test itself.

Jason: Oh?Say it anyway.

Mike: I passed.

Maggie: Completely?

Mike: Yeah.

Jason: Hey, congra..., Mike.

Maggie: Congratulations.

Jason: I knew that that little extra study would pay off!

Mike: Oh, thanks, but I do have some bad news.And I think it's difficult to understand.

Jason: Just say what it is, Mike.

Maggie: I have a feeling you should sit.

Jason: I promise to be a fully cock tonight.

Mike: You know, I even ask myself that same question after all.

Jason: Well, What would you come up with, Mike?

Mike: I don't' know.I guess he didn't expect that I did that well on the test.

Maggie: Well, you did well?He did well.How well?

Mike: I rarely pay attention to the grade.

Jason: Well what did you get?70?

Maggie: 75?

Mike: Well.

Maggie: 80?85?

Mike: Actually.

Maggie: 90?

Mike: 4.

Maggie: 94?Oh, Michel Seaver, I am ashamed of you.How could you cheat?

Mike: I did not cheat.

Jason: Is this 94 out of a 100?

Mike: I swear to you I did not cheat.Ok, I give you my word of honor.

Jason: Well, er......I believe you.

Mike and Maggie: Really?

Jason: Well, our son gives us his word.We've gotta believe.

Maggie: You are right.I believe you Mike.

Mike: Oh, thanks.I knew it was so kind of you guys.I am sorry for every miserable thing I've ever done that make your world a living hell.

Maggie: And I am sorry I doubted you, Mike.But It's a tight story to believe if your put yourself in my shoes.

Ben: Mom's shoes are bigger than others' for all the ant heels!

Mike: All right, the shoes.Thanks, Benny.I forgot to tell you guys as funny as part.

Mike: You guys are going to love this.

Mike: You want to know the truth?Ok, I'll tell you the truth.Yeah, I was going to cheat.I figured out it's the only way.So I was on path that I would copy all the stuff onto my shoes cause I had to pass the test.But somehow I didn't just go on my shoes.I got my head too.Sure blew me away.But when it came to the time to look for the answers.I didn't have to.I knew them.

Maggie: Well: I'd like to believe you, mike.

Mike: Yeah.

Jason: Well, you have to admit you are not exactly the kind o' guy who has a reputation for knowing things like Abraham Lincoln was the 17th president?

Mike: Yeah, he was the 16th president.

Jason: yeah, Grant was the 17th.

Maggie: And it would have been so easy for him to do what with all the answers written on the bottom of his shoes.

Carol's glasses: Oh, what a touching story.You broke my heart!

Ashtray: Hey.

Carol : Ben, No one's gonna pay a dime for a broken lamp.

Ben: That's why mark it 5 cents!

Carol: I wonder what I could get for Ben.

Lamp: So my old friend, the sneakers.This is a fitting into my life.

Sneakers: Hey, I said I was sorry.

Lamp: Bite your tongue!

Sneakers: Hey, it wasn't my fault.

Carol: Who is the one who is always straining up around here, eh?Who is the one going to tie his smelly tennis shoes off the couch.

Mike: Don't forget the other one, Carol.

Carol: Oh, here, catch.

Mike: Oh, Perfect.

Carol: It isn't bad.Do you think it can hold?

Mike锛歐ell, are you kidding?On the commercial this stuff holds five elephants over the Grand Canyon!

Ben: Yeah, they'll put anything on TV that isn't true?

Carol: Well, we are going to clear now, you two cleaning up the mess.

Mike: Carol, If I clean up the mess for you, you probably should find yourself a standard trash can up there by the curve!

Carol: Come on, Ben, get off.

Ben: I cannot, I am stuck.

Mike: You are kidding, right?

Carol: No, it isn't .

Ben: Au.............

Mike: What are you screaming about?

Ben: I don't' know, I've never been glued to a table before!

Ben: I feel much better.

Carol: You won't want mom and dad to get home.

Mike: Stand side.Big problems go for big solutions.

Carol: What is that?

Mike: It's the answer to our prayers!The electric sander!

Carol: Good night.

Mike: Come on, where you guys are going?

Carol: Anywhere but here.

Carol: Ben, Mike.

Mike: Guys.It's easier than this.I will tell mom and dad that we ruined the coffee table.Do you want to do that Ben?Carol?Good, very great.Don't worry Ben.Some day I look back on this day, you became a man.You too, Carol.Toddling up.

Carol: The lamp.The lamp.

Mike: Ok, If you offer enough for New coffee table.Here mom and dad came late on Saturdays, so the first thing to mom and dad to go down to check is the pick-one-up.

Ben: Dad home, Dad is coming.

Mike: Oh, Ben, Ben, sit there.Ok, now, just don't move.

Mike, Ben and Carol: Hi.

Jason: Hi, everybody.

Maggie: Hi, guys.

Jason: Good evening.

Mike: Nothing is great, dad.

Maggie: Ben?

Ben: I'm great too.

Maggie: I want you in bed in 5 minutes.

Jason: Mike, you lock up, ok?

Jason: See guys in the morning.Mike, Ben & Carol: Bye.

Maggie: Bye.

Jason: Good night.

Ben: Oh, no.

Mike: So what would you guys have for dinner?

Mike: Oh, come on, you really think I am the reason you are all here?

Glasses and lamp: Yeah.

Carol: All of you just shut up.It's been enough out here with all of you.

Ashtray: You think you better than us?

Sneakers: Of course, she has contacts.

Carol's Glasses: Long after carol got a contact, she cast me.

Jason: Oh, Carol, how was your day?

Carol: Everything is fine now, really, I don't know it's not been better lately.I mean new clothes, makeup, contact lenses, thinking someone to want to take me to a dance, please.It just not me, I mean what I am trying to change.I was just fine in working hard and in studying.I was just fine without trying to be silly and popular.I mean who needs all these risks.Oh, not me.

Mike: Guess, I mean she didn't have a good day.

Carol: Mom.I want to turn on my makeup to the pore.

Maggie: Oh, Carol, what happened?

Carol: Nothing, nothing, I just um, asked Bobby to the prom and he turned down.

Maggie: Oh, honey.

Jason: It's a shame.

Maggie: Honey, there has to be some reason.

Carol's glasses: And now I am tossed out.Like you old shoes.

Sneakers: Hey.

Carol: This is from Cassidy Records, it should be worth something.Hey, what are my old glasses doing out here?

Ben: Well, you'll never wear it any more?So I .....

Carol: Your thinking is wrong.

Ben: Well, I do want to keep my ashtray.

Carol: Why?

Ben: It's still as good as new.

Carol: It sure is.

Ashtray: Thank you, Ben, thank you.
{"type": "series", "show": "Growing Pains", "episode": "03x22 - The Obscure Objects of Our Desire: Part 1"}