DJ:  Just got a call from Heather Chandler, who'd like to dedicate this next song to the James Buchanan varsity football team.

Go, Cougars!

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA. 1998.

( reading) 

Sarah: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY LOVE YOU, DADDY

Chuck: You know, you don't have to keep buying stuff for cover...

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA. 2008

.. just 'cause you're in here all the time.

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA. 2008

Sarah: I actually needed new iPod speakers.

Chuck: I'm just saying it's perfectly plausible that you're in here to discuss dinner plans with me, your boyfriend.

Sarah: Okay, sweetie, what are you in the mood for, Thai or Chinese?

Chuck: Wait, really? No, I'm still digesting my Honey Nut Cheerios.

Okay, I'm a little unprepared to discuss dinner plans at this point.

Oh, unless we're... unless we're not going to be actually eating.

Will we be eating food or are we just saying we'll be eating food?

Not that it really matters, it just... it'll factor into lunch, you know?

Can I get a straight answer from you, Sarah?

I mean, you don't have to be so secretive or dodgy about pad Thai noodles...

Sarah: Bogey at your six.

Casey: Roger that- secure the asset immediately.

Take him to the Orange Orange.

Chuck; Hey, ow, ow, okay, okay, okay.

Sarah: You stay here.

Chuck: Why, what's going on?

Sarah;,I couldn't shake a suspicious tail, so until we establish the depth of the thr*at, you're staying put- don't move.

Touch nothing.

Wait for me, got it?

Chuck; Whatever.

Oh, wow.

I can't believe I'm this close to an actual DU97.

Freon-cooled, reconfigurable 30-teraflop architecture with modules for cryptanalysis and video processing.

She's so beautiful.

Heather: I know you.

And I never forget a face.

Chuck: Buy More, courtyard.

AKWARD 

Sarah: Guess I just have one of those familiar faces.

Chuck: Jackpot.

Heather: That's not it- I know you.

Sarah: I tried my hand at acting a while back.

Heather: It'll come to me.

Sarah: I was on a national television commercial.

I ate a messy cheeseburger.

Maybe that's it.

Heather: I know exactly who you are.

We went to high school together!

Sarah: What?

Heather: Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me your name.

I'll get it.

I never forget a face.

You look so different now.

Well, for the better, I mean.

Sarah: Oh, I'm sure you have me confused with someone else...

Heather: Jenny!

That's it: Jenny Burton!

Jenny Burton?

Heather Chandler.

Well, Heather Ratner now.

I married Mark Ratner.

James Buchanan High, class of '98.

Go, Cougars!

Sarah: Heather, of course.

Um, how have you been?

Heather: Oh, my God, Mark, look who it is.

It's Jenny Burton.

Mark: Who?

Heather: Jenny Burton from high school.

You know, the one.

Mark: Oh, yeah, hi, Jenny.

Heading down for the reunion this weekend?

Sarah: Oh, no, I'm not much of a reunion person.

Chuck: Hey.

Sarah: I told you to stay put.

Chuck: I know, I just, you know... the tummy is a-rumbling.

Sarah: Chuck.

Chuck: Yes, honey?

Heather: Is this your boyfriend?

Chuck: Wait, you know these people, sweetie?

Sarah: NO.

Heather; I'm Heather- we all went to high school together.

Chuck: Come on!

Of all the semi-tart Asian influenced frozen yogurt shops in all the towns in all the world, you walked into hers?

Heather: I know, it's crazy, right?

We live in Westlake now because its closer to Mark's work, but we go down there all the time.

Chuck: Do you? You go... go down there, huh?

Weather's real nice this time of year.

Sarah: Do you need a to-go lid?

Mark: Well, come on now.

Weather's always great in San Diego.

Chuck: Yes, it is!

That's what I always say, down there in San Diego where you're from.

I'm Chuck, by the way, but around here, people just know me as... as Jenny's Chuck.

Jenny and Chuck.

Chuck and Jenny.

Mark: Chuck, I'm Mark Ratner.

Voice Recognition: MATCH VINTHROP-KELLER AERONAUTICS 

Chuck; Brain freeze.

I think I had a little too much yogurt.

Hey.

What are you guys doing for dinner tonight?

You got any plans? 'Cause maybe we could all get together and reminisce about old times.

Mark: Sounds great.

Chuck: I mean, any friends of Jenny are friends of mine.

Sarah: Oh, I don't know, Chuck, it might be pretty boring for you to take a trip down memory lane with us.

Chuck: Good God, no, not at all.

I can't think of anything that I'd rather do than spend an evening learning all about... my Jenny.

CHUCK 204

Big Mike: Gather 'round, clock punchers.

Big announcement.

I'm not coming in for a few days- got a meeting.

Morgan: Oh, some fat cats over at corporate?

Big mike: Nope.

With a bunch of fat catfish over in Lake Havasu.

And while I'm away, Mr. Patel here will be in charge.

Jeff: Party hardy.

Or the opposite of that?

Big mike; I want you to give Lester the same respect you give me.

When you look at him, I want you to see Big Mike and not some scrawny-ass Indian kid with a Bay City Rollers hairdo.

Lester: Thank you, sir.

Big mike: That's it.

Back to the salt mine.

 Sarah: Dinner? Come on!

What the hell were you thinking, Chuck?

Chuck: What was I supposed to do?

I flashed on the guy.

Sarah: Those people are from my past, a past you have no business poking around in.

Chuck: Well, I'm sorry, I was just trying to do my job.

I thought you'd be happy I used a little initiative.

Casey: Uh, don't k*ll the messenger.

Not the kid's fault you went to high school with a treasonous scumbag.

Beckman; Good morning, boys and girl.

First matter of business: Mark Ratner.

He's an engineer at Winthrop-Keller Aeronautics, has clearance to extremely sensitive plans for future w*apon technology.

Picture the next generation of F-22 Raptors.

Essentially, a b*mb.

This technology has been leaked.

Chuck's instincts were good.

Your mission is to go to dinner with the Ratners, see if Chuck flashes off of anything.

Sarah: General, I apologize, but I'm afraid I must excuse myself from this mission.

My cover has been compromised.

Beckman: Agent Walker, you have preexisting social history with the target.

Seems to me like you have the perfect cover.

Sarah: But it's not a cover, ma'am, it's me.

Beckman: Well, I hope you enjoy Italian food.

Buon appetito.

Lester: With Big Mike gone,

I've come up with a plan to revolutionize Buy More sales.

From now on, we're gonna work with our customers to create a mutually agreed upon price.

Morgan: Yeah, but how are we supposed to do that? I mean...

Lester: As this is a teaching hospital... watch and learn, my friends.

Watch and learn.

Hey.

Hey.

So, you're in the market for a new TV.

Conscientious Customer:  Yeah.

Lester: You shopping for your mother?

Customer: What?

No, it's for me.

Lester: This one's a little dainty, isn't it?

You want the complete entertainment experience.

I would recommend this one.

Conscientious Customer; Uh, I can't afford this one.

Lester: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't get caught up in this.

This... is just a suggestion.

How about you make me an offer?

Customer; Okay.

How about you shave 300 bucks off that price?

Lester: Sold.

Customer: Really?

Morgan: Hey there.

May I help you with this washer and dryer?

Woman: Oh, afraid it's not in my budget.

I'm only in the market for a dryer.

Morgan: Ma'am, that's like buying one new shoe.

No, no, no, no, make me an offer.

Bunny: You happy with that price?

Man: Guess I'd be happier if it was 100 bucks cheaper.

Bunny: I live for your smile.

Let me take off $200.

Man: Deal.

Jeff: I'll sell you that computer for 400 bucks off sticker price.

Chuck: Hey, buddy, what's going on?

Morgan; Lester's new sales policy.

We're giving away the merchandise.

Jeff: Throw in a wireless mouse?

Throw in a wireless mouse and a bonus computer.

Chuck: That's gonna end badly.

Morgan: I know.

I know, Chuck.

That's part of the fun.

Sold.

Sarah: You're early.

Chuck: Technically, I'm right on time for my pre-mission debriefing.

Sarah: What are you talking about?

Chuck; Standard spy protocol.

You know, I need some stats for my cover tonight.

Sarah: Chuck, I'm really...

Chuck: No need to apologize if you didn't have time for full dossier preparation.

I think we'll just go over a few facts together if that's okay.

Fantastic. I'll go first.

Uh, tonight, I'll be playing the role of Jenny's boyfriend Chuck.

He works at the Buy More, not living up to his potential.

Sister is Ellie, doctor, engaged to a doctor.

There, all up to speed on Jenny's boyfriend.

Your turn.

Sarah: I'm not doing this.

Chuck: Okay, here's what we know thus far.

Jenny Burton went to James Buchanan High School in San Diego, California, class of 1998.

Is it safe to assume that "Jenny" is a diminutive of "Jennifer? "

Sarah: Back off, Chuck.

You have as much information as is pertinent to this assignment.

Chuck: Spell "Jenny" with an "I" or would...

Sarah: All Jenny's boyfriend needs to know is that Jenny hates questions about her past.

You got that?

Chuck: I'm good. Yeah, I'm good.

How do you do that?

So, Mark, uh... what line of work are you in?

Mark: Uh, engineering.

Actually, what I'm working on is technically... top secret.

Heather:,And let's keep it that way, 'cause no one gives a rip.

So, how long have you two lovebirds been together?

Chuck: Months.

Sarah: Years.

Chuck: That add up to years.

Sarah: You know, I don't even remember my life before Chuck.

Heather: What's the matter with you?

You're sweating like a pig.

It's kind of gross.

Mark: No. Oh, sorry.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Would you excuse me for a minute?

Heather: Sure.

So, Jenny, is your job at the yogurt shop, like, a career or are you keeping yourself in Top Ramen between acting gigs.

Sarah: Oh, I-I've got a few things going on.

Heather: I mean, Chuck, if you had told me in high school that Jenny Burton wanted to grow up to be a movie star, I would've said, "Dream, little duckling, dream. "

And now here we are.

Ivan: Your time is up, Mr. Ratner.

Sarah: Soup looks delicious, Chuck.

Chuck: Mmm, it is.

Cilantro, very controversial.

You either love it or hate it.

Me, I love it.

Heather: So, Jenny, when's the last time you were down in San Diego?

Sarah: Mm, it's been a while.

Heather: Mm, don't get to visit your dad much?

Sarah: Um, excuse me, more wine, please.

Casey: Ah, yes.

It's a lovely pinot noir, earthy, complex, with a hint of cherry blossoms.

Chuck: So, you know when you're kids and there's always that funhouse that all the kids hang out at.

Would you say that was the case with Jenny's house-condo-apartment?

Sarah:,Oh!

Oh!

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

God, I'm-I'm such a spaz.

Heather: Now, there's the Jenny we know.

Chuck: Excuse me. Beg your pardon.

Casey: Not the first American tax dollars wasted on a man's lap.

Ivan: Give us the plans now.

Mark: I need to know that if I hand over the plans, no harm will come to my wife.

Chuck: Oh, my God.

Ivan: Who the hell are you? Who is this guy? !

This is setup?

Mark: No! God, no! He's no one!

Chuck: That's a little hurtful.

Mark: He's just the boyfriend of some-some girl that I went to high school with!

Chuck: I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna grab some club soda to take care of my stain.

Sarah: So, Heather, uh, how do you stay in such great shape?

Heather:,Got obsessed with karate 'cause my instructor's such a hottie.

I'm a black belt now.

I clued in you didn't want to talk about your dad's situation in front of your BF.

Does Chuck not know?

Sarah: Uh, do you mind if I take over?

Casey: Oh, no.

It's my first day.

Sarah: Go check on Chuck.

Casey: If you promise not to filet her before I get back.

Sarah: I can't promise anything.

Okay.

Took a Kn*fe skills course at the culinary academy.

Heather: Is that to further your yogurt career, or are you angling towards something bigger?

Say, carving station at Lawry's.

Ivan: So, what you know?

Chuck: I don't know anything.

I just came in to do my little boy business.

Turn on hand dryer, so no one hear him scream.

Chuck: Hear who scream? Me scream?

You?

All right.

Casey: Gonna pull the van around so we can stow these guys.

Be right back.

Oh.

Mark: How?

How did you do that?

Chuck: Uh...

Uh, you know, it's a self-defense thing I took at the Y.

It was pretty comprehensive.

Mark: Are you nuts?

These guys are K*llers!

Chuck: Bullies are like bears, you know?

They're more afraid of you than you are of them.

Or is that bees?

Actually, it is bee.

Anyway, when you're dealing with the Russian mob...

Mark: How, how did you know they're connected to the mob?

Wait a minute.

I know exactly who you are.

Dude!

You're the man!

Chuck: I'm hardly the man.

Mark: So who do you work for?

Is it the FBI?

CIA? NSA?

Chuck: I, you know, I can't discuss the particulars.

Mark: Okay.

I get it, I get it.

But just tell me, does-does Jenny know who you really are?

Chuck: Jenny knows nothing.

Mark: Of course not.

But anyway, I-I just want to thank you so much for saving my life.

Can't you just tell me your name, Agent... ?

Chuck: Carmichael.

Special Agent Charles Carmichael.

Casey: This is not a negotiation.

Okay, Ratner, here's how this is gonna go down.

Mark: Wait.

You're our waiter.

From the restaurant.

Man, we really screwed you on the tip.

Casey: You want into witness protection, you're gonna have to scratch our back, too.

Mark: What do you mean?

Casey: Those two g*ons from last night, they don't report back to their boss, he's gonna want a follow-up meet.

We're gonna cover that drop.

He contact you yet?

Mark: I'm sorry, but I prefer to deal only with Special Agent Carmichael.

The man saved my life last night.

Casey: Is that right, Special Agent Carmichael?

Chuck: Uh...

It's funny...

You should really see me scale buildings with suction cups, 'cause I'm...

I'm very good at that.

I only dabble in the v*olence. So...

Casey: Modesty doesn't suit you, Mad Dog.

Mark: Mad Dog?

Why... Why do they call him that?

Casey: Listen, I got to know where your next meet's at, okay?

And I'll ask you real politely.

My partner here, he's a maniac.

It's... It's fine when it's to protect you, but you don't want to be on the receiving end of Mad Dog.

That's how I got this.

Huh?

I parked in his spot once.

This scar reminds me every day- don't mess with Mad Dog.

Now, I'm gonna ask you...

Let me ask you one more time.

Where's the meet?

Mark: Look, I-I don't know, okay?

He texts me.

That's it, that's all I know.

Casey: He's all yours, Mad Dog.

Mark: No, no! I...

Wait a minute.

This, this is him, right now. He's-he's-he's...

He's texting me right now! This is him!

Okay, he wants to meet tonight.

But-but that doesn't work for me.

I can't meet tonight.

Tonight's my reunion, and my wife has really been looking forward to this- she wants to be reunion queen.

I couldn't disappoint her.

Casey: Stop talking!

You'll meet him there.

Mark: I... I-I don't know about this.

Chuck: No one's gonna mess with you, man.

I got your back.

Mark: Okay.

Okay, I'll do it.

Lester: No!

This can't be right!

No! No! No! No!

No! How did this happen? !

No!

Morgan: Hey, Chuck, what's up, buddy? What are you doing here?

I thought it's your day off.

Chuck: Yeah.

I had to swing by the mall to pick something up for Sarah.

It's a long story. What's going on with Lester?

Lester: What is happening? !

Is this broken? ! Are you broken? !

Morgan: He's been at it for, like, 15 minutes.

Chuck: Hey.

What's going on? Everything okay?

Lester: Chuck.

Chuck, thank God you're here.

You-you'll know what to do.

Look, so the new Friendly Negotiations sales strategy worked brilliantly.

Right? We moved the largest volume of big-ticket merchandise in four years.

But no matter how many times I crunch the numbers, we're still out 2, 700 bucks.

Chuck: Well, you forgot to carry the one, so actually it's 3, 700.

Lester: What? ! Oh, my God!

I'm sorry I let you down, sir.

Morgan: All right, come on.

Pull yourself together here, man.

All right, everybody, listen up.

We are up excrement creek without a paddle.

Okay? So we're just looking for a few ideas to make a lot of cash by tonight. Any ideas?

Jeff: My mom knows a dude who will torch the place.

Our troubles will go up in flames.

Lester: Yeah.

Morgan: While I'm impressed by the outside-of-the-box nature of Jeff's pitch, I'm thinking maybe a simpler solution.

Chuck: Remember when we were in high school and we were hard up for cash, so when your parents were out of town, we'd host a big kegger, invite everybody and charge by the head.

Morgan: That's great, Chuck, that's perfect.

That's what we're gonna do.

Lester: Yes!

Morgan: No, no, no, I was... that...

I... that was a good idea if we were 16.

Bunny: Invite people from the mall.

Jeff: And I can call my best friend, Beer, see if he can make it on such short notice.

Lester: This could actually work, this could actually work.

Chuck: Great, good, glad I'll be 100 miles away.

Mark: LET GO!

Dick Duffy: Hey, Jenny.

You must be getting pretty lonely with your dad locked up.

Call me if you ever need a man around the house.

Sarah: What?

Chuck: Brought you a present.

Sarah: Well, it's not my birthday.

Chuck: Oh, one down, 364 and a quarter possibilities to go.

Just open the box, hmm?

Sarah: Why do I need a new dress for?

Chuck: I know you're gonna see this as a glass half-empty, but I think it's a real opportunity...

Sarah: Spill it!

Chuck: We have to go to your reunion.

Look, I know that you don't like talking about your past, much less revisiting it, but the reunion is where the drop's going down.

Sarah: Look, I'm sorry.

It's just...

High school...

It was a tough time for me, okay?

Chuck:,Tell me about it.

I- I-I get that.

Trying to figure out who you are and what you're gonna do with the rest of your life while constantly distracted with raging hormones.

I...

Sarah: It was more than that for me.

Chuck: Hey... it'll be okay.

Trust me.

Besides, everybody remembers high school way worse than it was.

YOU LOOK GREAT 

Enthusiastic Girl; Welcome Cougar, class of '98!

Sarah: Hi.

Jennifer Burton?

Enthusiastic girl: Burton?

Ooh, here.

Sarah: Thanks.

Enthusiastic girl; Girl: Wait. You're Jenny Burton?

Sarah: I am if it says I am 

OH, MY GOD.

Chuck: Hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

No one's gonna mess with you, Sarah, okay?

I got your back.

Wow!

Oh.

It's not that bad.

It's not that bad.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

WELCOME BACK COUGARS CLASS OF 1998!

Chuck; Thank you.

Remember, the only difference between high school and a high school reunion is that you don't get suspended for being drunk.

Want to dance?

Fortunately for you, I was at the top of my game in '98. Oh, a little bit of that.

Come that, oh, and then... and then mirror that, you know, just kind of...

What? What is it? You okay?

Dick: So, my buddies and I checked out the room and picked the best-looking girl here.

Decided to come introduce myself to the woman I'll be waking up with tomorrow.

Dick Duffy.

Chuck: And I'm Chuck, Jenny's boyfriend, so...

Dick: Jenny? Wait. Jenny Burton?

Damn!

Ten years has been very sweet to you.

Sarah: Thank you.

Dick: Ten years is a hell of a long time, especially to someone living in an eight by ten cell.

How is your dad?

PAROLED LAS VENTURAS PRISON 4 YEARS: GRAND THEFT AUTO Nachos!

Chuck: Nachos! I smell nachos!

That's gonna h*t the spot.

Let's get some nachos. Bye, Dick.

I think that's him, that's the guy.

Sarah: What guy?

Chuck: Duffy. I just flashed on Duffy.

What'd you do? Attend Bad Guy High?

Sarah: What are you talking about?

Chuck: Well, Duffy has some kind of connection to the Russian mob.

I'm pretty sure he's the guy that Ratner is supposed to connect with to hand off the super-b*mb plans.

Sarah: Makes sense. He's always been a jerk.

Okay, you go catch Ratner up, have him set up the meet.

I'll tip off the DJ.

Chuck: Why? Why the DJ?

CUSTOMER SERVICE 

Morgan: Dude, look at this.

We're in a sweet spot.

People are loving this.

Lester: I can't believe this is actually working.

Hey! Hey! Take off your shoes!

Take off your shoes!

Tell them to wipe their feet, right?

Keep it... Will you please keep it down?

Keep the fingers off the merchandise over there, please.

Please. Please.

We got to be considerate of the neighbors, okay?

No, no, no, no, no, no!

No! No!

This the way you people treat your own homes? !

Chuck: My bosses at Langley have informed me that that's the guy who's been texting you.

Mark; Our target is Dick Duffy?

Of course!

The guy who terrorizes me in high school is now going to terrorize the entire world with my super-b*mb.

Chuck: You're gonna be just fine.

You have my personal guarantee.

Mark: Uh, excuse me, Dick?

I believe I'm supposed to see you about a certain transaction.

Dick: Rattner.

You're the last guy I thought I'd be having this conversation with.

All right, fine.

Meet me outside in five minutes.

Welcome class of '98!

Go Cougars.

Mark: Never should have stolen the b*mb plans.

I should have gone right to you guys.

But they thr*at my wife.

I wasn't thinking straight.

You see, I'm just a guy who likes math, you know, and somehow I got a beautiful girl like that to fall in love with me.

I have to pinch myself sometimes.

It's like I'm dreaming.

Ah, forget it, Agent Carmichael.

I mean, how can I expect a cool guy like you to understand?

Chuck: You know what, Mark?

Sometimes the nerd gets the girl.

Sarah: In the middle of something?

Dick: Got time for you.

Where's your boyfriend at?

Sarah: Oh, don't worry about him.

Dick: Can't believe you're that same Jenny from high school.

You've changed so much.

Sarah: Well, I'm still the same girl on the inside.

Dick: Bet you miss your daddy.

He's been gone so long.

But you know, baby, you can always call me daddy.

Ooh!

That's all right. I like my ladies rough.

Casey: Great.

Now we know he's a perv, don't know if he's the perp.

Sarah:,Yeah, sorry.

I'm just working out some childhood issues.

Casey: Knockoff watches, bootleg DVDs.

He came out here to sell Ratner a dime bag.

Guy's small time.

Sarah: So if Duffy isn't our guy, then who is?

Heather: My husband spilled everything to the Feds.

That's him and his handler.

I overheard them talking. He's some CIA bad ass named Carmichael.

k*ll 'em both.

Lester: Give him to me.

Man: Find your own freakin' fish!

Lester: GIVE ME THAT!- YOU'RE A FOOL!

Norman!

That's it!

Party's over! Get out!

Right now!

Chuck: I mean, was I born to be a lawman? No.

I'd say it's more of a calling.

I got a bit of the shine.

g*ng ACTIVITY FORGERY 

Chuck: Oh, no.

Mark: What's oh, no?

Chuck: Slight wrinkle in the plan, got to improvise.

Move!

Welcome!

James Buchanan High, Class of '98!

Go Cougars!

Uh...

Uh, for those of you who remember me, I clearly need no introduction, and for those of you who don't, I'm not up here to talk about myself anyway.

No. I'm here to talk to you about some people that will cause you to flash, flash back, that is.

So, maybe with a... with a few hints and a little bit of luck, we can find two special Cougars, and throw some love on them.

Oh, how about... how about this guy, huh?

Michael Adler.

Drooled his way through Spanish class?

¿Se habla espanol?

I know you do, Michael.

And, uh, who, uh... who else do we have?

Sarah: Hey, she is a part of this.

Casey; You go. I got these two.

Chuck: Oh! Oh! How about, uh...

How about this guy here? Come on, folks.

I know you know him. Chippy!

Our one and only Chippy Sternin!

Remember, all-star pole-vaulter, who was unfortunately sidelined with a horrible case of impetigo?

Ivan: Come on, let's go.

Chuck: I was rooting for you, buddy. I thought you were gonna go all-state, but you know what?

It wasn't in the cards.

Come on, love on those guys really.

Just throw some arms around them.

Sarah: Heather?

Who's drunk? You're drunk.

All right, fantastic.

Heather, why'd you do it?

Heather: Revenge of the Cheerleaders.

We marry the geeks because they're the ones with the future.

But my husband wasn't ambitious enough.

And they were offering a lot of money.

Sarah: Who do you work for? I can help you.

Heather: I'm self-employed.

Sarah: Your name has been at the top of my list of 'People who need good ass-kicking. '

Ivan: Get in the locker now, Ratner.

You have three seconds to tell me where the plans are.

One... two...

Mark: Agent Carmichael, help!

GREATEST HITS '98 

Chuck: Before I go here's a classic from 1998.

Mark: Help!

Let me out!

Hello?

Heather; You should've been suspicious of me right off.

I mean, why would a girl like me ever fall in love with a dorky nerd like him?

Sarah: You'd be surprised.

Casey: Thanks a lot, Mad Dog.

Always count on you to be in the right place at the right time.

Wh-wha...

Mark: I knew you wouldn't let me down, Agent Carmichael.

Chuck: Glad I'm not the one who has to tell Ratner about his wife's involvement in all this.

Casey: That's why love is for suckers.

Chuck: Yeah.

Hey, you seen Sarah anywhere?

Casey; Sucker.

Heather: Now, I got to ask.

How'd you wind up working for the Feds?

I mean, if you had told me in high school that Jenny Burton wanted to grow up to be an agent, I would've said, "Dream, jailbird's daughter, dream. "

Guess you didn't follow in daddy's footsteps after all.

Sarah:,Go Cougars.

Enthusiastic girl: And the queen of the class of 1998's ten-year reunion is...

Jennifer Burton!

Jenny?

Where are you?

There you are!

Come on up here, Jenny.

See you at the 20th, Jenny!

Morgan; Wow, Don't worry.

We'll fix this.

It'll-It'll be all good.

It'll be all good.

Lester:,Come on, guys, we're almost there.

Big Mike's gonna be here any minute. Let's go!

 Listen up,  listen up, listen up.

Um, first of all, I just want to acknowledge that I know that I'm not the easiest man to work for, but I want to thank you for all your hard work.

And mean it this time.

I mean, guys, what we've accomplished here is incredible.

And each and every one of you is a big bright, shining star.

Oh, mother crapper, the fish!

Morgan: Glue's still a little wet, but we had no choice, dude.

Lester: Morgan.

You did all this for me when I haven't always been very kind to you?

May I ask you why?

Morgan: I don't know, man.

I thought, you know, if I was there for you selflessly, that you would see that people are essentially kind at heart.

You know, and maybe you wouldn't walk around so afraid in this world.

Dude, are you crying?

Come on, I'm just doing my job.

Oh, Mike's coming.

Big mike: Work you've done here is outstanding.

Everyone's on time, store is tidy.

Even smells like a pine-scented forest.

Nice touch, Patel.

Will you look at these sales totals?

With the kind of brisk business you've done here in my absence, I should go away more often.

Lester: Sir, if I might, um, the truth is that the, the pressure of management, it's, it's just too much.

I would really, uh, appreciate it if I could just resume my former position.

Big mike: You sure, son?

Lester: Yes.

Yes, thank you.

Big mike: What the hell?

Norman!

Sarah: Isn't that supposed to be a raw steak?

Chuck: Not on a Buy More salary, thank you very much.

I did, however, scrape together enough cash to get you a cooked one as well.

Medium rare with...

Both: Extra pickles? extra pickles.

Chuck: Come on, who do you think you're dealing with here?

Sarah: Well, I never doubted you, Special Agent Charles Carmichael.

Chuck; So I guess the big secret about you is that you used to be just a typical high school student.

Wish I knew what happened to change that.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY LOVE YOU, DADDY 

Graham: Nice toss.

Sarah: Who are you?

Graham: I'm the man who put your father in prison.

The question is: Who are you?

In San Diego, you go by Jenny Burton.

In Wisconsin, it's Katie O'Connell.

In Cleveland, it's Rebecca Franko.

Funny thing is when I looked at your birth certificate...

Sarah: I get your point.

What do you want?

Graham: Your father scammed some pretty dangerous people.

I saved his life by putting him in jail.

Sarah: Well, don't expect a thank-you note.

Graham: I can save your life, too.

No, not that way.

Your dad trained you pretty well.

The CIA can do even better.

You like names so much, hmm?

What do you think about Sarah Walker?

Chuck: Sarah Walker, hello.

Sarah: Okay, fine.

I'll answer one question about my past.

You've earned that much.

Chuck: Hmm.

No, thanks.

I don't need to know more, not about who you were, 'cause as much as you don't think so, I know who you are.

A girl I'd like to share a cheeseburger with.

Should I get a Kn*fe? I'll get a Kn*fe.

Sarah: That won't be necessary.

Chuck: That's awesome and a little disturbing.

A LITTLE BIT MESSY.

YOU WANT A BIG HALF OR...
{"type": "series", "show": "Chuck", "episode": "02x04 - Chuck Versus the Cougars"}