Loid: The time has come.

Loid: Let us check our personal effects.

Yor: All clear, sir.

Loid: And now, our appearances.

Yor: All clear, sir.

Loid: And a final check of our verbal etiquette.

Anya: All set, please. Will do my best, please.

Loid: I feel nothing but anxiety about this,

Loid: but we've done everything we could.

Loid: Now, onward...

THE PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOL'S INTERVIEW

Loid: To Eden College's interview!

Yor: It's so big!

Loid: Well, it is one of this country's top schools.

Yor: And there are so many examinees...

Loid: They're all our rivals.

Loid: Anya, are you going to be okay in this crowd?

Anya: I'll be okay, please.

Loid: Let us go, then.

Loid: This feeling...

Loid: There's no doubt about it.

Loid: I've experienced this many times.

Loid: Someone is watching us. Could it be...

Loid: Is there an enemy hidden in this crowd?

Anya: An enemy?

Yor: I feel someone's gaze...

Loid: No, that's not it.

Loid: I'm not the only one being watched.

Loid: It's always an unpleasant feeling to be observed like this.

Loid: There.

Loid: Four in the overhead passage.

Loid: Four in the bell tower.

Loid: More in the buildings to the left and right.

Loid: I have information on most of the staff at this school.

Loid: Those... are the instructors.

Loid: They're observing every action that everyone is taking and scoring them

Loid: to see if they're worthy of this school.

Loid: Which means... the exam has already g*n.

Loid: I need you two to be on your guard.

Loid: We're being watched by the examiners.

Yor: Huh?

Loid: We'll do this just as we practiced.

Instructor A: D-, fail.

Instructor B: A-, fail.

Instructor D: G-, pass.

Henderson: I must say, the examinees this year lack refinement.

Henderson: They all lack true elegance.

Teachers: Good morning, Housemaster.

Eden College<Housemaster>

Henderson: It displeases me to know their crude feet

Henderson: are trudging upon the blessed ground of our school.

Henderson: Elegance creates tradition.

Henderson: Elegance is what truly makes this world a paradise.

Henderson: Fail any family lacking elegance immediately.

Instructor B: Yes, sir.

Henderson: Hm?

Henderson: Oho...

Henderson: It appears that not all hope has been lost.

Henderson: They are paying their respects to the statue of our founder?!

Loid: I, Twilight, am a man of a thousand faces.

Loid: Becoming exactly the person my target wants me to be is mere child's play.

Loid: Behold!

Yor: I haven't the slightest clue as to who this gentleman is,

Yor: but everything should be fine as long as I do what Loid is doing.

Anya: Baldy head!

Henderson: S-So elegant!

Henderson: How very elegant!

Henderson: Who is that family?

Instructor D: K-. They are the Forgers, sir.

Instructor D: Their daughter Anya just barely passed the written exam with a score of .

Henderson: Absolutely not elegant! And such awful penmanship!

Henderson: So the father has remarried?

Instructor B: Might they be an impromptu family for admission purposes?

Henderson: I am not certain. We must investigate.

Henderson: We must ascertain whether or not they have true elegance.

Instructor E: We'll confirm your admission numbers here.

Instructor F: G-. Please go to Hall .

Instructor F: Ah, A-. Please enter Hall .

Loid: I see they're wasting no time with the screening.

Instructor F: K-. Please head to Hall .

Loid: We're still being observed. Don't let your guard down.

Yor: It's so nerve-racking being watched like this...

Anya: I need to pick my nose.

Loid: Absolutely not.

Boy: Oh, no!

Boy: I've accidentally fallen into the gutter, and I can't get out!

Loid: Uh... That's too blatant if they're trying to test us.

Boy: Oh, no. Whatever shall I do?

Loid: Perhaps they're thinking he might be a thr*at,

Boy: Ah, I don't know what I should do.

Loid: but no one is trying to go near him.

Boy: Who knew there'd be a gutter here?

Loid: But if he is part of the test, we must deal with this accordingly.

Boy: I'm so shocked. I'm really stuck.

Anya: Papa! Mama! There is someone who needs our help, please!

Anya: Let us save him!

Loid: Are you all right, lad?

Boy: Oh, no! I've slipped and I cannot get up!

Boy Internal: This is all for merits... More merits!

Henderson: Precisely.

Henderson: You're heading to an interview. You wouldn't dare sully your clothes with sewage.

Henderson: Now, how will you elegantly get through—

Loid: Are you hurt?

Anya: Use my hanky, please.

Loid: Make sure you go to the infirmary, just in case.

Henderson: Clearly, I expected too much.

Henderson: In the end, they were just some commoners from the countryside.

Henderson: Do not think for a second that you can

Henderson: set foot in our house of learning wearing soiled clothes.

Henderson: Throw K- out immediately.

Boy: Oh, no... These people are going to fail because of me.

Boy: Um, I'm so sorr—

Yor: Thank goodness we anticipated this,

Yor: and prepared a change of clothes just in case!

Henderson: Who in the world would ever anticipate that?!

Yor: Besides, your grey suit seems to fit the attire at this school more.

Loid: If I had continued wearing my previous suit,

Loid: we would've been mistaken for commoners from the countryside.

Loid: Thank you for giving us the opportunity to change, lad.

Henderson: On top of everything else, they even thanked the boy!

Henderson: Brilliant... So smart, and elegant!

Henderson: Curse you and your cunning, Loid Forger.

Instructor B: Housemaster, we are supposed to be testing the child.

Henderson: Silence!

Henderson: Children learn from their parents' example!

Henderson: Yes. The parents of a child who scores  points must also be only worth  points!

Henderson: I'll make you reveal your true identity yet!

Man: Oh, no!

Man: The animals have escaped the farmhouse!

Loid: You're really going this far, Eden College?!

Mob : Hey, don't push me!

Mob : Just go, you moron!

Mob : Mommy! Mommy, Mommy!

Mob : Shut up!

Loid: Are they trying to see if we reveal our true selves in an emergency?

Loid: We'll be playing right into the examiners' hands if we panic.

Loid: Do not break Formation D.

Loid: We will show these animals nothing but benevolence!

Henderson: Hey.

Henderson: Who told you to go that far?

Instructor D: Wait...

Instructor D: It wasn't you, Housemaster?

Henderson: Impossible! Is this...

Henderson: an actual accident?!

Henderson: There are some very important people among the examinees!

Henderson: Go stop this mess before they're hurt!

Vice Minister: I'm the Vice Minister of the Ministry of Finance!

Banker: Hell if I care! I'm the CEO of the Central Bank!

Child A: Wait! Father!

Vice Minister: Well done, you!

Loid: Are you all right?

Yor: Loid!

Yor: It's happening to Miss Anya again.

Loid: The mass panic must've h*t her.

Loid: The test is the last thing I need to worry about now.

Loid: That must be the leader of this herd.

Loid: That's the one I need to s but I'll have to use my g*n—

Loid: No...

Yor: Please look after Miss Anya for a moment.

Loid: Yor?

Yor: I-It's not what you think!

Yor: I once learned about pressure points that can stop one's movements in a yoga class!

Yor: I-I figured they might work on cows, too!

Yor: Please don't look at me like that!

Anya: Ms. Cow?

Anya: Is she scared?

Loid: That's dangerous, Anya!

Anya: S'okay, please. Don't be scared.

Loid: What are you—

Anya: They're gonna go home now.

Loid: Apparently so.

Loid: Thankfully, no one was hurt.

Henderson: E-Ele...

Henderson: Ele-le... Ele-le-le-le...

Henderson: Elegance!

Instructor B: Housemaster?

Henderson: Forger!

Loid: He's...

Loid: one of the housemasters.

Loid: Is he in charge of this exam?

Henderson: Y-You helped us avoid a crisis. I thank you.

Henderson: And... you have bested me for today.

Henderson: To give us all time to collect ourselves after this chaos,

Henderson: we will be delaying the start of the interviews.

Henderson: Return to your hall once you've had a moment to tidy yourselves.

Henderson: Your family has the right to apply to our school.

Loid: Sir...

Loid: It looks like we've avoided failure.

Loid: I humbly thank you for your generosity.

Loid: But have no fear.

Loid: We anticipated something like this...

Loid: and prepared another change of clothes.

Henderson: This isn't about elegance anymore! These people are just scary!

Narrator: The Forgers successfully make it to the actual interview.

Swan: You truly thought you could apply to our school without even knowing that?

Child B: Huh?

Swan: Well? Cat got your tongue?

Child B: Huh?

Child B: Um, uh...

Father D: Thank you very much.

Father D: What kind of answer was that?!

Loid: I've been a spy for over a decade,

Loid: and for the first time...

Loid: I'm actually nervous.

Loid: Even when I infiltrated the ranks of an evil t*rror1st group,

Loid: or when I managed to stop the launch of a m*ssile with one second remaining...

Loid: I never found it so hard to breathe as I do right now.

Loid: The fear of letting someone else decide my success or failure...

Instructor G: Next, the Forgers.

Anya: Yep!

Loid and Yor: Yes, sir.

Loid: Yes, this is definitely going to be...

Loid: the most crucial moment of Operation Strix!

Evans: Please, have a seat.

Loid: Thank you for having us.

Henderson: So you've come, Forgers.

Loid: The Forgers shall prevail in this game of information warfare.

Evans: First, we will begin by asking the parents a few questions.

Walter Evans Housemaster of Dorm Subject Taught:  English Personality:  Mild-mannered • Sincere • Conservative

Loid: The housemaster of Dorm , Malcom Hall.

Loid: Mild-mannered, sincere, and conservative.

Loid: The students are very fond of him.

Loid: As long as we respond with sincere, logical answers,

Loid: we'll score highly with him.

Evans: I was informed that this is your second wife. May I ask how you two met?

Loid: I see we're getting straight to the point.

Loid: Eden College does prioritize family values, after all.

Loid: I met my wife at the tailor shop that handles this school's uniforms,

Loid: and I was in awe of her grace.

Loid: Ever since I lost my first wife,

Loid: I was hesitant to pursue another relationship because of my daughter.

Loid: But the more we spoke, the more I felt that she was a kindred spirit.

Loid: She is truly kind and cares dearly about family.

Loid: I came to the conclusion that she'd get along well with my daughter.

Evans: Ah... And what about you, Madam?

Yor: Well...

Yor: L-Loid is a wonderful person who truly cares for his daughter.

Yor: He's also very considerate of me.

Evans: Ah, I'm happy to hear that you have such a loving family.

Swan: Why would a beautiful girl like you choose to be with a man who's got baggage?

Henderson: That was rather uncouth, Master Swan.

Murdoch Swan Housemaster of Dorm  <Cline Hall> Subject Taught:  Economics Personality:  Arrogant • Greedy • Callous

Loid: The housemaster of Dorm , Cline Hall.

Loid: He's the only son of the former headmaster, and a legacy hire.

Loid: Arrogant, greedy, and callous.

Loid: His wife filed for divorce last month,

Loid: and he just lost custody of his daughter, as well.

Loid: Reviewing all of his previous interview questions and comments,

Loid: he is clearly jealous of other families, and takes out his frustrations on them.

Loid: It's best that we avoid provoking him.

Evans: Now for our next question.

Evans: Could you tell us why you chose to apply to our school?

Loid: For only one reason, sir.

Loid Internal: To get close to my target, Desmond!

Loid: The quality of the instructors at this establishment is superior.

Loid: Of course, you are all very knowledgeable and cultured,

Loid: but when it comes to teaching anything, from patriotism to how to be an elite,

Loid: the instructors of the prestigious Eden College

Loid: are second to none.

Henry Henderson Housemaster of Dorm  <Cecil Hall> Subject Taught:  History Personality:  Elegant

Henderson: Elegantly done, Loid Forger.

Henderson: I knew I saw potential in you.

Evans: Now then, how would the two of you describe your daughter?

Evans: Please let us know about her strengths and weaknesses.

Loid: Anya is an extremely curious child.

Loid: Her habit of sticking her nose where it doesn't belong could be seen as a weakness,

Loid: but she is a truly intelligent child.

Henderson: Intelligent?! Her?!

Anya: Shock!

Loid: Sometimes, it's like she sees right through me,

Anya: Yikes...

Loid: which keeps me on my feet.

Loid: I would say her main shortcoming is that she's a picky eater.

Evan: Ah...  And how would you describe your parenting style, Madam?

Yor: Just like we practiced...

Yor: As you already know, I am not her biological mother.

Yor: At first, I spoiled her quite often in hopes that she would like me.

Yor: But for the sake of her future, I'm hoping I can become a bit stricter at times.

Evans: We've been told that your daughter is a picky eater.

Evans: What kind of meals do you cook at home?

Yor: Huh? C-Cook?

Yor: Um...

Loid: I actually do most of the cooking.

Loid: Though when I'm busy, my wife is kind enough to cook for me.

Loid: Not that that's happened even once yet.

Swan: You're joking! What kind of wife can't cook for her husband?!

Swan: You should probably be stricter with yourself before you worry about that child.

Loid: Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

Loid: She is extremely tidy and excels at keeping our house spotless.

Loid: She is also an excellent mother to my daughter.

Swan: Yes, well, both of those are things women are expected to do.

Loid: That's—

Yor: I-It's all right, Loid.

Evans: Now, now...

Loid: Yes. Calm down.

Loid: Why are you getting irritated, Twilight?

Loid: She's not even your real wife.

Swan: A lovey-dovey hot couple? You make me sick.

Swan: I'll keep jabbing at you until you slip up.

Swan: If I can't make sure these two fail, there's clearly no justice in this world.

Anya: He doesn't like Papa and Mama!

Anya: I need to do my best!

Evans: N-Next, let's ask the young lady some questions.

Loid: Here it comes.

Evans: First, could you tell us your name and address?

Anya: My name is Anya Holger!

Anya: My address is in... Berlint, West District...

Anya:  Park... Avenue!

Evans: And what do you do on your days off, young lady?

Anya: We go to moozeums...

Anya: and eat operas...

Loid: Good. These were questions we anticipated.

Evans: What would you like to do once you get into this school?

Anya: Um, uh...

Anya: What was I supposed to say?

Loid: In my case, I first need to participate in a social gathering,

Loid: and get to the bottom of what the boss of the enemy organization, Desmond, is planning.

Anya: I-I want to find out what the boss of the organization is planning!

Loid: What in the world are you saying?! Hello?!

Evans: The boss of the organization? Maybe you meant the headmaster.

Loid: I do apologize. My daughter is rather ambitious.

Loid: She's extremely curious about the headmaster, since he's clearly made it to the top.

Henderson: Oho...

Henderson: The desire to learn from her predecessors at such an early age...

Henderson: That's quite elegant.

Henderson: Do you happen to know the name of the principal, young lady?

Anya: Um, B-Be...

Loid: Yes. Benedict Ivan Goodfellow.

Anya: Mr. Benedick Advent Goodheller.

Henderson: Hmm... Then,

Henderson: could you tell us how hard you would have to work in order to succeed like him?

Anya: Yes. Like getting through the jungle with no supplies,

Anya: and dancing with death over and over to get brave!

Loid: That was the training montage the protagonist of her spy cartoon did yesterday.

Henderson: S-Such incredible resolve!

Henderson: It appears as though I have underestimated this young lady.

Evans: I don't think you have to do quite that much.

Evans: Let's change the subject. What does your father do for a living?

Anya: He's a sp—a speshulist in mental health. A very good one.

Evans: Hm? Are you a little stuffed up?

Evans: Then how do you feel about your new mother?

Anya: She is very nice.

Anya: But she's scary sometimes.

Evans: If you were to give your parents a score, what might that be?

Anya: A perfect  points.

Anya: My Papa and Mama are both so much fun, and I love them very much.

Anya: I want to be with them forever.

Swan: Tch. God, no one needs this rubbish.

Swan: In that case, would you score your old mother or your new mother higher?

Evans: Come now, Master Swan...

Swan: Is there a problem?

Loid: May I respectfully request a different question?

Swan: Absolutely not. If you do not answer, you will lose points.

Loid: I don't know exactly how she ended up in that orphanage,

Loid: but her actual parents are probably already...

Anya: Ma...ma...

Loid: Anya...

Anya: Mama...

Swan: I see, I see.

Swan: So you do prefer your old mother.

Yor: This is too cruel!

Loid: Please calm down, Yor.

Yor: But this is just—

Loid: We need to remain calm for the sake of this mission.

Swan: We have plenty of students here who live away from their parents in our dorms.

Swan: If she's going to cry over every little trifling thing,

Swan: she'll never survive at our establishment!

Loid: So what if he's being slanderous?

Loid: We are nothing more than a pretend family.

Yor: Trifling? You call this trifling?

Loid: This is nothing.

Swan: Now, now, Mrs. Second Wife.

Swan: Don't snap at me just because she loves her real mother more.

Swan: Oh, I feel so much better.

Loid: Restrain yourself...

Loid: Twilight!

Loid: I do beg your pardon.

Loid: There was a mosquito.

Loid: Thank you very much for your time today.

Swan: Hey, where are you going?!

Swan: The interview's not over yet!

Loid: If making light of a child's feelings is part of your establishment's educational policies,

Loid: then I'm afraid we have chosen the wrong school.

Swan: You fiend! You dare disgrace our fine school?!

Loid: Come now, you two.

Loid: Please excuse us.

Swan: Don't think you'll ever walk through our gates again!

Henderson: That's quite enough, Master Swan.

Swan: Are you taking issue with my methods?

Swan: He may be the former headmaster,

Evans: Now, now...

Swan: but my father's influence within this school is still strong.

Swan: It'd be wise for you to watch that mouth of yours.

Swan: Hey! Hurry up and call the next one in!

Loid: ...the instructors of the prestigious Eden College

flashback Loid: are second to none.

Henderson: If all I can do is curry favor with the authorities,

Henderson: I have no right to call myself an educator.

Henderson: I must ask, who truly disgraced our school?

Swan: Huh?!

Evans: Wha—

Henderson: Hmm...

Henderson: That was rather elegant, if I do say so myself.

Henderson: Now, will you be able to face the instructors at Eden head-on,

Henderson: Forgers?

Loid: Yeah... We definitely failed.

Yor: I-I'll go make us some tea.

Loid: I've failed yet again as a spy.

Loid: I let unnecessary feelings get in the way of the mission.

Anya: Papa...

Anya: I'm sorry.

Anya: I'm so sorry that I couldn't do better

Anya: on my tests.

Loid: It's all right, Anya. You have no reason to apologize.

Loid: You don't want to go to a school like that, do you?

Anya: But I want to go to school...

Loid: Huh?

Anya Internal: If this mission fails...

Anya: I have to go to school or...

Anya Internal: ...we won't be together anymore.

Loid: Anya...

Yor: If she fails, of course, our life here together will be...

Yor: But that doesn't matter.

Yor: I'm just worried how this may affect my work.

Loid: Hmm... But to be honest,

Loid: Hell will freeze over before you pass.

Anya: Shock!

Yor: I-I'm sure everything will be okay!

Yor: It'll all work out!

Anya: The grandpa with the glasses and the grandpa with the half-glasses

Anya: were really nice!

Yor: Yes, exactly!

Yor: I'm sure they'll vouch for us! Let's believe in them.

Loid: Spies don't believe in anyone other than themselves.

Loid: They always expect the worst-case scenarios and prepare for them.

Anya: I want to be with them forever.

Loid: But... Maybe just a little bit...

Loid: Yes. Let's leave the result to fate,

Loid: and try to recover from how exhausting that exam was.

Loid: Right now, just for a little bit...

Loid: To our family's bright future!

Anya: Something just fell!

Yor: Our family portrait fell to the floor.

Loid: It just fell...

Narrator: What will become

Narrator: of their mission?

WILL THEY PASS OR FAIL
{"type": "series", "show": "Spy \u00d7 Family", "episode": "01x04 - The Prestigious School's Interview"}