Grave,Caption: Shimura Ken

Otae: Father, it's been a while.

Otae: Father, I have something to tell you today.

Otae: I think it's time to begin.

Otae: I will become the character I was created to be.

Otae: It's time to restore the Kodokan Dojo you left us, Father.

Otae: Sorry to make you wait  episodes.

Otae: It's not that I forgot my character.

Otae: And I wasn't tired of the role.

Otae: I had to save up money first.

Otae: I promise to make the dojo better than when you were still around.

Otae: Please support me.

Obi: Oh?

Obi: Are you Otae-chan?

 The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart

Dojo,Shin: Kodokan Dojo

Shin: What?! You want to recruit new students?!

Shin: S-Sis, I thought you forgot the original purpose of your character!

Shin: Weren't you going to focus on your night dojo?

Otae: Please, do I really look like such a heartless woman?

Otae: Do your best and let nature take its course.

Otae: I went to Tsudaya the other day,

 and I received a signal that it was time.

Shin: It's because you rewatched volume  of the DVDs and remembered!

Otae: I acquired a fair amount of money in episode ,

 so I think now is the ideal time.

Gin: What are you babbling about?

Gin: Nobody's gonna pay money to learn how to use a sword these days.

Gin: The age of using swords has ended.

Gin: It's now the age of much younger wives using Kato-chan.

Shin: When did we start talking about Kato-chan and Ken-chan?!

Kag: Kids don't dream about becoming samurai or ninja anymore.

Kag: They want to become Kato-chan's wife or part of

 a backup band working up to becoming an idol.

Backup: ,My Future Dream: Backup Band

Shin: We don't live in an age of evil conspiracies!

Otae: That's why this dojo is needed.

Otae: A part of ancient Japanese culture is fading away.

Otae: It's our duty to protect it by passing this knowledge to the next generation.

Gin: But do you even know what a kendo glove smells like?

Gin: Those things should get a new job as the straw used to wrap natto.

Gin: And in anime, the mask makes it impossible to tell who it is.

Gin: And when people thrust,

 you'd think they were striking to k*ll.

Gin: Isn't it our duty to end that practice with our generation?

Shin: Are you really a swordsman?

Otae: It's true that there are aspects that no longer apply,

Otae: so I believe it's important to evolve and adapt certain practices

 while maintaining the tradition.

Otae: The school of Tendo Mushin needs a slight renewal.

Shin: Renewal?

Otae: Yes.

Otae: To the school of Tendo Mushin beam sabers!

Sabers: ,Tendo Mushin Beam Sabers

Shin: What happened to tradition?!

Kag: But beam sabers will resonate with kids, and maybe with the Amanto.

Shin: Uh, that's not the issue here.

Shin: And who's going to teach them how to use beam sabers?

Otae: That's all worked out already.

Shin: Huh?

Otae: I've found the perfect person.

Otae: He knows the School of Tendo Mushin and he can use beam sabers.

Shin: Huh?

Otae: You'll be so surprised, Shin-chan.

Obi: Hey, long time no see.

Obi: You've gotten pretty big, Shin-bo!

Shin: Ha—

Shin: Hajime-nii!

Obi: Whoa!

Obi: You've gotten pretty strong, too!

Shin: Hajime-nii, you're alive!

Shin: That's great! Just great!

Gin: Huh? A former instructor?

Otae: Yes, this was back when our dojo was busy.

Obi: The name's Obi Hajime!

Sabers,Obi: Obi Hajime

Obi: If that's a pain to say, call me Obi-one!

Sabers: ,Obi HajimeObi-one

Gin: No, that would be an even bigger pain.

Obi: Sounds like you've been taking care of Otae-chan

 and Shin-bo while I was gone.

Obi: Let me express my gratitude.

Obi: Thank you very hamnida!

Gin: Thank you? Hamnida? So which country are you from?

Otae: Obi-one-niisama has been wandering around space for a long time,

Otae: so he's picked up some words from different planets.

Obi: Soz for being so hard to understand!

Gin: Uh, how do you pick up a word like "soz" from space?

Shin: Gin-san, Hajime-nii is really amazing.

Shin: He became an instructor at our dojo at a young age,

Shin: and his skill was known around Edo!

Shin: Once his talent was recognized,

 he was chosen to study abroad and took off into space.

Shin: But the teleportation device at the terminal

 exploded while he was there,

Shin: so we thought he would never return.

Obi: When the device blew up,

 I was miraculously teleported to a planet way out there.

Obi: While there, I figured I might as well learn how they used swords,

Obi: but before I knew it, I was the strongest one around.

Obi: I would then move on to the next planet, and so on,

Obi: until people started calling me Galaxy Sword Master.

Galaxy: ,Galaxy Sword Master

Obi: People stopped challenging me.

Obi: It got boring, so I came back to Edo.

Shin: Wow! Galaxy Sword Master!

Shin: You're awesome, Hajime-nii!

Obi: Nah, I'm still nothing compared to your old man.

Gin: Hey, what's a Galaxy Sword Master?

Kag: His character is dumb and his title is dumb.

Obi: He was one strong samurai.

Obi: I never thought the dojo would shut down.

Obi: Shin-bo, Otae-chan...

Obi: Soz for not being here to help when you needed me.

Obi: If I can help you with the beam saber that I mastered out in space,

Obi: I'll do whatever you ask!

Obi: I'm getting excited!

Gin: Watch it!

Obi: Let's work together to revive your old man's dojo!

Obi: And we'll make Kodokan the number one dojo in the universe!

Obi: Hip, hip, hooray!

Gin: Weren't we reviving it?

Otae: Hey, hey! Come on down! Have a looksee!

School,Caption: School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber

Otae: We're starting up a new school in Edo!

Shin: The School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!

Otae: We're moving into the age of beams!

Shin: You can do anything with beams!

Shin: Remove the wrinkles and moles from your face!

Shin: Pierce the heart of your favorite girl!

Shin: Let's beam it up together!

Gin: Uh, so why are we beaming it up with you?

Obi: This is bad, Gintoki-dono!

Obi: Nobody's stopping!

Gin: Uh, why are you telling me this?

Obi: How 'bout it? Let's spar a little to show them

 what beam sabers are about!

Gin: Wait, I've never used a beam saber before and I don't want to.

Obi: How can you say that when you're

 going to be a founder of the School of Beam Saber?

Gin: What?

Obi: Don't play dumb. You and Otae-chan have this going on, right?

Gin: What's that supposed to mean?

Gin: I've never seen that gesture before!

Gin: And this guy's sh**ting beams out of his pinky?!

Obi: You know what I mean.

Obi: You've been sticking your beam inside Otae-chan's...

Otae: Please stop it, Obi-one-niisama.

Otae: We have no such relationship.

Obi: That's the Otae-chan I remember.

Obi: You've already mastered the art of the beam saber.

Gin: You mean she's mastered how to jam it in your ass!

Shin: No kidding. You're the one who doesn't understand, Hajime-nii.

Shin: Sis wouldn't want to hear her first love say...

Gin: Wait, so he's her first love?

Gin: He's her first love?

Kag: Seriously? That's what the boss lady likes?

Otae: Keep your mouth shut! Want me to slaughter you?!

Kon: Uh, excuse me.

Both: We want to join

Both: the School of Beam Saber!

Gin: As if we wanted these freaks!

Kon: If it's that awesome, Kyubei-kun, I'd love to try this, uh...

Kyu: What was it called, Kondo-kun? Beachy Diarrhea?

Kon: No, that's not it.

Kon: Wasn't it Beach Sandal, Kyubei-kun?

Gin: Wait, when did they become friends?!

Gin: The stalkers have teamed up because her first love is here!

Kon: But before we join, we'll need a demonstration

 to see how awesome this really is.

Kyu: That's right.

 Would you be willing to spar with us first?

Obi: Sure, I'd love to do that.

Obi: I can't wait!

Obi: It's been years since I fought a samurai!

Gin: They're not fighting like samurai!

Both: Die!

Gin: Way to blurt out your intent!

Obi: That's no good, you two.

Obi: If you f*re those in the middle of town, people will die.

Obi: Huh? What about me?

Obi: I'm just fine.

Obi: Though, I'm only half human now.

A: Kenofi, Kenofi, come in, come in!

A: No good. He's not responding.

A: He's running solo again.

A: That guy is so much trouble.

B: Forget about him.

B: I believe that this planet is his homeland.

B: Let the man say his farewells.

Obi: Whew, we managed to recruit enough students to get started.

Welcome,Caption: Welcome New StudentsTendo Mushin Beam Saber

Obi: Welcome to the School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!

Obi: Soz about what happened back there.

Obi: You guys were so strong that I couldn't hold myself back.

Obi: But this means that we have the seven strongest samurai

 to get this school started off.

Obi: We're going to make the School of Beam Saber the best there is!

Obi: Right, Instructor Sakata?

Gin: Sure, Instructor Obi-one.

Gin: I can't even be bothered to complain anymore.

Obi: Anyway, tonight we celebrate our new beginning!

Shin: Do you want beer, Hajime-nii?

Obi: Nah, give me some shochu with gasoline!

Otae: Please, Obi-one-niisama. You're such a joker.

Kon: Uh, excuse me, Instructor Obi-one.

Kon: I have a question.

Obi: What's up?

Kon: I now understand how amazing beam sabers are.

Kon: The thing is...

Kon: Even if we train under the School of Beam Saber,

Kon: I don't see how we can learn to do that.

Obi: Don't worry.

Obi: It's easy once you've learned the trick.

Obi: Right, Instructor Sakata?

Gin: Sure, you know how one day, you take the

 training wheels off your bike, and suddenly you can ride it?

Gin: It's just like that.

Kon: Wait, I'm positive that you can't do that stuff, Instructor Sakata!

Kon: You still need your training wheels!

Kyu: Honestly, I don't see how a human could ever pull that off.

Kyu: And that mechanical arm...

Kyu: You said that you were only half human.

Kyu: What did you mean by that?

Obi: You think there's something special about this arm?

Obi: This is just a mechanical arm to replace the one I lost in the accident.

Gin: That's not nice, Kyubei.

Gin: You shouldn't start accusing people because they b*at you.

Gin: It takes strength to admit your weaknesses.

Gin: Now you have to write the word "jobber" a hundred times before tomorrow.

Kyu: And you have to write the word "moron" a hundred times.

Gin: How do you spell that?

Kag: Like this, Instructor!

Backup,Kag: Gintoki

Obi: If you don't trust me, I'll show you my body.

Obi: I meant exactly what I said back there.

Obi: After wandering around the galaxy,

 half my body is no longer that of an Earthling.

Obi: The other half hasn't forgotten the spirit of Edo.

Obi: What do you think?

Kon: Don't you mean you're half Edo and half robot?!

Obi: That's what I said.

Obi: The beam saber didn't come from my right arm.

Obi: It came from the mechanical right side of my body.

Kon: What the hell?!

Shin: Huh?!

Shin: What's going on?!

Shin: What happened to your body, Hajime-nii?!

Otae: O-Obi-one-niisama...

Obi: What? You didn't realize that I was a cyborg?

Obi: Man, you guys don't pay attention!

Obi: Right, Instructor Sakata?

Gin: Huh? What?

Backup: ,Gintoki  Gintoki  GintokiGintoki  Gin

Gin: We're having hamburger steak tomorrow. Really?

Kon: Cyborg! This guy's piss drunk!

Shin: You're a cyborg, Hajime-nii?

Obi: Yeah. You see, when I was caught in the expl*si*n,

 the right half of my body was mortally damaged.

Obi: I'm embarrassed to admit that, well...

Obi: I already died once.

Shin: Wh-What?!

A: We'll make him half that.

Shin: Y-You already died once?!

B: And half this.

Shin: Th-That means...

Obi: Luckily, the technology on the planet was advanced enough

 that they could revive me by mechanizing half my body.

Obi: I would become the strongest swordsman in the galaxy.

Obi: I returned from hell to achieve the dream that had once... died...

Shin: Hajime-nii!

Kag: Hey! Did he go back to hell already?!

Shin: Hajime-nii!

Shin: Pull it together!

Shin: What's wrong?!

Obi: Give me shochu with gasoline!

Otae: Oh, no, I thought he was joking.

Otae: I'll go buy some gasoline, so Shin-chan,

Otae: take him to the bedroom!

Shin: S-Sis!

Kon: Otae-san!

Shin: Gengai-san, how does he look?

Gen: Unfortunately, the problem isn't that he's out of gasoline.

Gen: Who fed him this junk?

Gen: This matter doesn't exist on Earth.

Gen: As far as I know, nothing like this has been discovered in the universe yet.

Kag: That's boss lady's...

Otae: He must have eaten something bad out in space.

Otae: Obi-one-niisama is such a slob.

Gen: Whatever. I got him to spit up the junk,

Gen: so give him some shochu with gasoline.

Gen: That's the only thing his body can take.

Shin: U-Uh, Gengai-san!

Shin: Is Hajime-nii...

Gen: His human heart has stopped beating.

Gen: All life-sustaining operations are performed by the right side of his body.

Gen: In other words, the machine is keeping him alive.

Shin: I thought he was finally back.

Shin: This is terrible.

Shin: He can't live without that machine... That's just...

Otae: Shin-chan...

Otae: No matter how much he changes,

 he'll still be the same person.

Otae: And you can't let him see that look on your face.

Otae: Have you forgotten the promise we made?

Otae: Geez, how many times do I have to tell you?!

Otae: Whether you're swinging your sword or doing anything else,

 you must maintain your form!

Otae: Pretend that there's a rod sticking through your body,

Otae: and you can only move by rotating around that rod!

Shin: I don't understand, Sis!

Shin: There's no rod in my body!

Otae: Geez, I told you to stop crying!

Otae: You're the son of a samurai, Shin-chan!

Shin: But...

Otae: Don't make excuses!

A: Those kids are at it again.

Ken: Hey! What are you doing?!

A: Crap, it's the master!

Otae: Father!

Otae: Help me talk some sense into him.

Otae: All Shin-chan does is cry, and he won't stop.

Otae: And everybody's laughing at how loud we are.

 It's embarrassing.

Ken: Both of you are too loud!

Obi: You siblings cry all the time.

Obi: Why's that? Are you getting paid?

Obi: I'll pay you more, then, so laugh!

Otae: Ha—

Shin: Hajime-nii...

Obi: Listen up, you two.

Obi: Tears are handy for washing away troubling and sad feelings.

Obi: But when you grow up, you'll learn

Obi: that there are things so sad, they can never be washed away by tears.

Obi: That there are painful memories that should never be washed away.

Obi: So people who are truly strong laugh when they want to cry.

Obi: They endure all of the pain and sorrow

Obi: while laughing with everybody else.

Obi: You can cry all you want right now.

Obi: But one day, you must become samurai strong enough not to cry.

Otae: Oh, so that's why you're always laughing.

Shin: I-I want to become strong like you!

Obi: Really?

Obi: Then stop practicing the sword for  today, and start practicing laughing!

Obi: More, Otae-chan!

Obi: Not good enough, Shin-bo!

Obi: Like this!

Ken: All three of you are too loud!

Obi: Darn, crying won't make this pain go away.

Otae: No matter what's happened to him,

 we were able to see Obi-one-niisama again.

Otae: We were able to see his smile again.

Otae: Isn't that

 enough?

Shin: Sis...

Hiji: Where did you go?

Hiji: We've got trouble right now.

Hiji: Earth may come to an end.

Kon: Oh, I don't see a problem

Kon: since my life's already over.

Kon: My love has come to an end,

Kon: so everyone else's lives might as well end.

Oki: He clearly wants attention right now.

Oki: I sure as hell don't want to listen to him gripe.

Hiji: It'll just be a waste of time, so let's tell him what's up and get to work.

Tojo: Lady!

Tojo: Hey! Where have you been?!

Tojo: Edo is in big trouble!

Tojo: We've got big trouble here, too!

Kyu: I'm disgusted with myself.

Kyu: I was trying to k*ll someone that Tae-chan truly cared about.

Kyu: I'm tainted! I'm the one who deserves to be k*lled!

Tojo: Calm down, Lady!

Tojo: Turn on the TV first!

Tojo: The human race is about to be k*lled off!

Kyu: Don't touch me!

Tojo: Oh, she noticed.

Grave: ,Machine Hall

Gin: Did you call me out here because there's some kind of problem?

Gen: Actually, I noticed something when I was checking his body.

Gen: I couldn't do anything about it, so I ignored it.

Kon: Planet Beam?

Hiji: They're known for developing interstellar wave beam cannons.

Hiji: Basically, no other planet could compete with them

 at making beam cannons,

Hiji: but a few days ago,

 Earth started a proposal to ban the manufacturing and

 exporting of beam cannons because of the danger,

Hiji: and the proposal seems likely to pass.

Hiji: Those guys see that as a big thorn in their side.

Hiji: These people claim to be t*rrorists,

Hiji: but I'm guessing that...

Ana: It appears that you Earthlings do not

 understand how beneficial lasers can be in daily life.

Ana: So we've sent a wonderful present to help you understand.

Gin: Huh? What did they just say?

Gen: The mechanical half of his body contains a time-triggered

 interstellar wave beam cannon.

Gen: Its targets are the planets of the Alliance.

Gen: If the cannon is fired, the rest of the galaxy will declare w*r on Earth.

Tsuzuku,Caption: To Be Continued

Movie: ,Big Announcement

Gin: We have a big announcement about the second movie.

Movie,Caption: Gintama the Movie ----In theaters on ----- !!

Gin: Next week, the scratched-out areas will be revealed.

Gin: Hey, dads. Don't try to spread butter on the screen.

Gin: That's not what this is for.

Ep Title,Shin: Two Brothers

Shin: Next time: Two Brothers.

Side Bar Top,Caption: Planet Beam is thr*at Planet Earth,

Side Bar Bottom,Caption: and Obi Hajime was their advance party!!

Side Bar Top,Caption: The Shimura siblings are unsure about what to do,

Side Bar Bottom,Caption: but Gintoki has made his choice.
{"type": "series", "show": "Gintama", "episode": "06x10 - Sound Of Beam Can Pierce Heart Of Everyone"}