06x03 - Wedding In Red 

Edit 10/16/13 02:37 bunniefuu

updated 30 June 2022 by MaggieMay19

[interior RIGSBY's apartment, early morning]

[RIGSBY stirs in his sleep. Benjamin - his toddler son - is  babbling. RIGSBY wakes. He sees VAN PELT playing with Benjamin]

RIGSBY: Oh. Sorry he woke you. 

VAN PELT: Oh, it wasn't him. 

RIGSBY: Was I snoring again? 

VAN PELT: I thought it was a low-flying jet. 

RIGSBY: Thanks for playing with him. 

VAN PELT: I don't mind. I had to get up early anyway to drive home and get changed for work. 

RIGSBY:Yeah, he's a good kid.

BENJAMIN: (Babbling) 

RIGSBY: You know, I'd like to stay at your place, but when I have Benjamin, it's... 

VAN PELT: I know. It's fine. 

RIGSBY: You know, you should be careful, lady. I could still make an honest woman of you yet. (Laughs) 

VAN PELT: Mmm. (Kisses) You actually could.

RIGSBY: (Chuckles) Mmm. (Kisses Ben) 

VAN PELT: Did you hear about last month's policy change? 

RIGSBY: Oh, yeah. No more sanctions on office relationships. Yeah. Read the e-mail. (Clears throat) 

VAN PELT: Right. As long as there's no rank issues. 

RIGSBY: Right. (Sighs) So, I, uh... I couldn't date Lisbon. 

VAN PELT: Right. But do you want to date Lisbon?

RIGSBY: No. Oo God, no. I just— 

(Benjamin babbling) 

RIGSBY: No.

VAN PELT: They're even letting agents get married. 

RIGSBY: That's awesome. You want to shower first? 

VAN PELT: Oh... you go. 

RIGSBY: All right. 

[Interior CBI office]

JANE: Lisbon. Good. We're going to Napa. You drive. 

LISBON: Homicide bulletins? 

JANE: Hot off the press. A John Doe in a duck pond awaits. 

LISBON: Well, that sounds like a case for local authorities. 

JANE: Bingo. 

LISBON: Napa. Okay, wait a minute. That's Sheriff McAllister's jurisdiction. You want to go and investigate a Red John suspect. 

JANE: Investigating is your thing. I'd just like to get to know him a little better. Shall we? 

(Sighs) 

[Exterior: Napa valley, at the pond beside Bella Vista chapel]

(Birds chirping, ducks quacking) 

DEPUTY: Gardening crew found the body submerged in the pond. 

(Police radio chatter, camera shutter clicks) 

LISBON: Doesn't look like he was in the water for more than a few hours. 

DEPUTY: There's a contusion on the back of the skull. I'm guessing someone caught him from behind. 

LISBON: What was he doing behind a church in the middle of the night? Any personal belongings? 

DEPUTY: No wallet or cell phone. Just a money roll in his front pocket. $32 in small bills. 

(Ducks quacking) 

LISBON: Hey, Jane? Care to offer your opinion? 

JANE: These ducks love muffins. 

LISBON: Very helpful. 

JANE: Look at 'em go! 

(Police radio chatter) 

MCALLISTER: I see the cavalry has arrived. 

LISBON: Sheriff McAllister. 

MCALLISTER: Agent Lisbon. What, uh... What brings your crack team to our little slice of heaven? 

LISBON: Oh, you know, any excuse to get up to wine country. 

MCALLISTER: Well, we always welcome the help, but I expect I can handle this one. 

JANE: Well, to be honest, it was, uh, it was me that wanted to come out here. 

MCALLISTER: Is that a fact? 

JANE: Well, more of a feeling. I think there's more out here than meets the eye. 

MCALLISTER: How so? 

JANE: You don't feel it? 

MCALLISTER: Mm, no. 

JANE: What's your take? 

MCALLISTER: On what? 

JANE: Our friend. 

MCALLISTER: Well, let's have a look. "One five six." You suppose he's repping his code? 

JANE: Area code 1-5-6 is reserved for telemarketers, so I'm guessing no. 

MCALLISTER: Well... he's kind of a slack-looking fella. Gloomy, even for a corpse. You know, cheap clothes, no muscle tone. Uh, sedentary low-income job. 

JANE: Sounds right. 

MCALLISTER: Your turn. 

JANE: The tread on his shoes wrap up around the heel to prevent the heel from slipping, like those of a serious race car driver, or a delivery man that likes to pretend he races cars. Couple that with the roll of small bills found in his pant pocket... 

MCALLISTER: Pizza delivery man. 

JANE: Could be Mexican. Or ribs. 

MCALLISTER: Could be. But, uh... You don't detect the faint scent of oregano about him? 

JANE: (Sniffs) That's a leap. 

♪ The Mentalist 6x03 ♪ 

Wedding in Red 

Original Air Date on October 13, 2013 

[Interior of wedding chapel]

(LISBON: (lowered voice) What do you think? 

JANE: (Lowered voice) Well, he's not as dumb as he looks. 

LISBON: Well, is he Red John? 

JANE: It's too early to say. 

LISBON: How do we find out? 

JANE: (Inhales sharply) I need to be alone with him. 

LISBON: Well, that would not be wise. 

MCALLISTER: What's cookin' in here? Spot any clues? 

JANE: (Normal voice) No. Well, just that hammer up there. You see it? Is that bl*od on the hitting side? 

MCALLISTER: Could be. I'll call forensics. 

[MCALLISTER's voice fades as he walks away, talking on the radio] Fellas? We need a little help in here...

LISBON: Did you see that? He did not want to go up that ladder. Uh, didn't the psychiatrist's office say that Red John was afraid of heights? 

JANE: (Lowered voice) That's very astute, Lisbon. Well observed. 

MCALLISTER [Returning]: They'll join us when they're done outside. 

LISBON:(Normal voice) Yeah, I can't wait that long. Sheriff, would you mind going up the ladder for me? 

MCALLISTER: You want me to climb all the way up there in these pointed toe boots? Unh-unh. That's a job for sensible shoes. 

[enter RIGSBY]

LISBON: It would be a big help. 

RIGSBY: I got it, boss. 

MCALLISTER: Thank you, son. 

[VAN PELT enters]

VAN PELT: Hey, boss, Cho got a DMV h*t on the victim's prints. His name is Larry Kincaid, 46, clean record. 

RIGSBY: No. Doesn't look like blood. I think it's paint. 

LISBON: Thanks, Rigsby. 

VAN PELT: Kincaid lived in Vacaville and worked as a pizza delivery driver. 

MCALLISTER (smugly) Hmm. 

JANE: What was the victim doing in Napa? 

VAN PELT: His boss said he was here for his niece's wedding tonight. Stacey Bonner. The rehearsal dinner was here last night. 

LISBON: All right, you two stay in the area and look for witnesses. We've got a wedding party to find. 

[Interior, Seven Graces winery. The wedding party is at a wine tasting]

STACEY BONNER: Use the table to help you swirl. The table's your friend. 

ROBERTO SALAS: You look so sexy when you do that. 

STACEY: This draws oxygen into the wine to bring out the aroma. 

ANGEL: Who cares what it smells like? Let's drink. 

LISBON: Excuse me. Uh, uh, is this the Bonner-Salas wedding party? 

STACEY: I'm Stacey Bonner. Can I help you? 

LISBON: Yes, I'm Agent Teresa Lisbon with the CBI. This is Patrick Jane. We found a body behind the Bella Vista wedding chapel this morning. It's a member of your party. His name is Larry Kincaid. 

STACEY: Uncle Larry? Oh, no. (Stacey sighs) 

JANE: Well... Don't everyone cry at once. 

MR BONNER: My wife's brother was something of a courtesy invite. He's a nice enough guy, but... A little off, socially speaking. 

JANE: Okay. Uh, you're the bride's father, I take it. And, uh, where's your wife? 

MR BONNER: She's resting back at the hotel. She came down with a migraine last night. 

STACEY: Poor Uncle Larry. Mom's gonna freak out. 

ROBERTO: It's okay, cariño. 

STACEY: (Lowered voice) The wedding is ruined! 

SUZIE BONNER: What happened to him? 

LISBON: That's what we're trying to find out. 

SUZIE: Can I see the body? 

MR BONNER: Suzie, that's not very appropriate. 

SUZIE: This is life happening. We can't shut our eyes. 

JANE pours himself some wine]

SUZIE: So... can I look at her? 

LISBON: No. Uh, who was the last person who saw the victim alive? 

ROBERTO: All of us. After the rehearsal dinner, we all h*t up the big party tent. 

STACEY: The wedding pavillion. 

ROBERTO: The wedding pavillion. It's the big tent by the chapel. 

MR SALAS: We ran out of wine, and Larry offered to make an alcohol run. I'm Mr. Salas. Roberto's my son. 

JANE [who is sniffing his glass and tasting his wine]: Did Uncle Larry ever come back? 

CHARLIE: No. But we weren't surprised. It felt like he was looking for an excuse to leave the party. 

ANGEL: Yeah. It's like he was... (Chuckles) A ghost before he was a ghost. (Sighs) 

ROSE: Angel, you're such an idiot. He was her uncle. 

ROBERTO: I'm sorry, baby. He seemed like an okay guy. 

STACEY: I'm not crying about Uncle Larry.

JANE [Spits the wine he tasted]: It is the wedding day.

ROBERTO: Oh. Oh! Hey, we're still gonna get married, right? Right? 

STACEY: (Sighs) I guess. But it's all so... sordid. 

ROBERTO: (Exhales) Yeah. (Kisses) Mmm. (Clicks tongue) 

[Interior wedding pavilion]

RIGSBY: Lisbon said this was the last room the victim was seen alive in. 

VAN PELT: Well, it's gonna be a beautiful wedding. 

RIGSBY: Eh, I can think of better ways to spend good money. 

VAN PELT: Oh, yeah? Like what? A new leather sectional? 

RIGSBY: No. Okay, how'd you guess? 

VAN PELT: (Laughs) I used to dream about having a cinderella wedding. 

RIGSBY: You did? You never said anything. 

VAN PELT: Ah. It was a long time ago. I suppose it all seems silly now. 

[Rattling noise from the other section of the pavilion]

RIGSBY: Police. (Hissing) Who's in here? 

VAN PELT:  Step out slowly. 

OSCAR: Don't sh**t. 

RIGSBY: Set it down. Hands behind your back. 

OSCAR: It's not what you think. 

RIGSBY: What's this? Laxatives in the wedding cake, huh? That's a cute move. 

VAN PELT: What's your name? 

OSCAR: Oscar Salas. 

VAN PELT: The groom's brother. 

RIGSBY: Why'd you want to ruin your brother's wedding, Oscar? 

OSCAR: Why not? 

VAN PELT: You don't like his fiancée? 

OSCAR: Twitter freak. Completely self-obsessed. They all are. Children who need constant feedback. Just wait until they try that cake. I am dying to read that Tweet. (Clicks tongue) 

RIGSBY: What about Uncle Larry? 

OSCAR: He seems cool. At least he doesn't follow the pack. 

VAN PELT: Did you know he was m*rder last night after the rehearsal dinner? 

OSCAR: No. 

RIGSBY: Any idea who might want to hurt him? 

OSCAR: Yeah. Angel. My brother's best man. He talked trash about Larry all the time. I think he sent him text messages, too. 

[Interior CBI interrogation room]

CHO: What was your beef with the victim? 

ANGEL: No beef. 

CHO: We heard you didn't like him. 

ANGEL: (Chuckles) You heard wrong. I didn't have no opinion of him. Barely knew the guy. 

CHO: We also heard you harassed him with text messages. 

ANGEL: That's not true. 

CHO: How about you show me those texts? 

ANGEL: I'm not giving you my phone. 

CHO: I can have a court order here in 30 minutes. Only then, I'll be looking at you as a suspect. 

[Slides phone across the table]

CHO (reading): "Hey, Larry, any word yet from your boss? I could really use the work. Thanks, buddy." He was helping you get a pizza job? 

ANGEL: I need work. So what? 

CHO: You get the job? 

ANGEL: Nope. 

CHO: Did you leave the wedding tent at any point during the after party? 

ANGEL: No, I was there till the end. Ask anyone. And Larry was long gone by the time I left. 

[A different interrogation room]

LISBON: Thank you for coming, Mrs. Bonner. Did you happen to see your brother leave the party? 

MRS BONNER: (Voice breaking) No, I, uh... I had a headache. I left the party early and walked back to the honeymoon suite. 

LISBON: Why were you in the honeymoon suite? 

MRS BONNER: We're paying for this wedding. 

LISBON: What was the victim doing at the party? 

[Scene changes between  interrogations of the wedding party members]

ROSE: The usual. Standing... watching. To be honest, I felt sorry for the man. 

LISBON: What was your relationship with the victim? 

ROBERTO: (Clicks tongue) Larry's my fiancée's uncle, so as far as I'm concerned, he's my blood. But weird blood, you know? 

LISBON: Do you know of anybody who may have wanted to harm the victim? 

STACEY: Nobody really felt strongly enough about him one way or the other. He just kinda... floated along like family flotsam. 

SUZIE: That was his strength, you know? The power of social invisibility. I think I could have loved him. 

LISBON: Did he talk to anyone at the party? 

MR SALAS: QYes. My son's friend Charlie from college. Did you know Roberto went to college? First in the family. 

CHARLIE: Well, I was pretty toasted. But I think Larry was talking about a new r*fle. Said he bought it to defend himself. 

LISBON': r*fle? Are you sure? The victim doesn't have any record of g*n ownership. 

CHARLIE: (Sighs) I think he was just trying to fit in. You know, be one of the guys. Same reason Larry offered to go on a liquor run for us. 

LISBON: Did you see the victim leave the party? 

MRS SALAS: No hablo inglés. 

LISBON: Excuse me. 

[LISBON and JANE meet outside the interrogation room]

LISBON: Somebody in that wedding party had to have seen something. 

JANE: Love is in the air, Lisbon. These two families are about to be married. They're not gonna turn on each other without a push. 

LISBON: What kind of push? 

[JANE gathers the entire wedding party in the CBI bullpen]

JANE: If we want to learn who k*lled uncle Larry, then we need to clear the air. That means no more playing nice for the happy couple. We need some honesty. 

ROSE: Who's not being honest? 

JANE: Well, you, for starters. You're the groom's sister, I take it. 

STACEY: And my bridesmaid. 

JANE: Yes, that was a lovely gesture, but you put her in a very awkward position, because she resents you. 

ROSE: No, I don't. 

JANE: Yes, you do. Be honest. 

STACEY: Do you resent me, Rose? 

ROSE: You talk down to my brother! You're always correcting him. 

ROBERTO: That's not true. When has she ever— 

STACEY: Not now, Roberto. Rose, are you mad at me because I paid for your bridesmaid dress? 

SUZIE: You didn't pay for my dress. 

STACEY: (Lowered voice) You don't work in retail.

ROSE: Now she's doing it to me. 

MRS BONNER: Stacey was an English major, chica. She just sounds superior. 

MRS SALAS: "Chica"? My daughter is not your housemaid. 

LISBON: Hey. She speaks English. 

JANE: Mm. 

MR SALAS: Can we all show some respect here, please? We're a family now. 

JANE: Yes, one big, happy family. Is that why you hooked up with the bride's mother at the after party? 

MR BONNER: Hmm? Hmm? What was that? 

JANE: You said that your wife had a migraine last night, which is the enablers' code for "drunk." And today, she can't look the groom's father in the eye. That's why she wasn't at the wine tasting this morning. 

STACEY: You made a move on my mom? 

ROBERTO: Why are you blaming papi? Maybe your mom's the adulterer. 

STACEY: Adultress. 

ROSE: Stop correcting him! 

ROBERTO: Yeah! I see it now. 

STACEY: Okay, shut up! This is my wedding day, and I will say and do whatever I want. And what I want... Is to cancel this wedding. 

(Gasping and murmuring) 

(Stacey sighs) 

SUZIE: Life. Happening. 

CHARLIE: Stacey, you don't mean that. You guys have been planning this for months. I flew in from Florida to be here. 

STACEY: You're all on your own. 

LISBON: (Sighs) Nice push. 

JANE: Ah, something good will come out of this. You'll see. Can we go back to Napa now? 

LISBON: Please. 

ACT 2

[interior CBI bullpen]

RIGSBY: Groom's brother said that neither side of the family approves of the wedding, but they're both pretending like they do. 

CHO: Not anymore. 

VAN PELT: I followed up on that r*fle tip. According to bank records, Uncle Larry wrote a personal check for one two weeks ago. 

CHO: We need contact information for the firearms dealer. 

VAN PELT: A private rancher sold it to him. James Harris. I have an address. 

CHO: The victim said he brought a r*fle to protect himself. Let's find out from who. Rigsby, you're with me. 

VAN PELT: I'll run background checks on the invitation list. 

[Exterior at pond in Napa]

(Quacking) 

MCALLISTER: I thought you were supposed to solve a crime, not, uh, destroy a wedding. 

JANE: Well, I'd say the k*ller did that. 

MCALLISTER: I'm prepared to marvel at your insight. Who's the k*ller? 

JANE: Still working on it. 

MCALLISTER: Really? I'm surprised. I'd have... I'd have thought you'd have him in cuffs by now. 

JANE: Oh, I hate to disappoint you. 

MCALLISTER (Chuckles) 

LISBON: Jane. Mrs. Bonner would like to have a word with you. 

MRS BONNER: (Sighs) (Voice breaking) You were right. Before I left the party, Mr. Salas and I shared a kiss. (Sniffles) A drunken, mistaken kiss.

JANE: Hmm. Uh, where did this, uh, inebriated smooch take place? 

MRS BONNER: Behind the chapel. 

MCALLISTER: Did you see anything here by the pond? 

MRS BONNER: No, but we heard a splash around midnight. 

LISBON: Did you hear any... screams or sounds of a struggle? 

MRS BONNER: I should have gone to help him. 

LISBON: It wouldn't have mattered. It seems he was k*lled someplace else. The body was just dumped here. 

JANE: Hiding the body until after the wedding in the pond, which is not such a great hiding place, I would think. A little too public. Bella Vista. (Italian accent) Bella Vista. (Normal voice) "Beautiful view" in Italian. Where is this, uh, Bella Vista? 

MCALLISTER: Through the trees. (Birds chirping) 

JANE: Wow. Now this is a place to dump a body. Take a look. Huh? k*ller hauls the body to the pond. Just a little bit further, and he could have dumped it right here. 

LISBON: He's right. Nobody's finding anything down there. 

JANE: Come over here, fella. Have a look. 

MCALLISTER: Yeah, I'm familiar with the view. 

LISBON: Uh, tell us what we're looking at. 

MCALLISTER: Uh... (Police radio chatter) Excuse me. I'm gonna take this. 

LISBON (Lowered voice): Strike two. You believe me now? 

[CHO and RIGSBY are in a CBI vehicle]

RIGSBY: Hey, Cho, you think I'm a marrying type? 

CHO: You proposed to your baby mama. 

RIGSBY: Well, yeah, but every kid deserves two parents. I was talking about Van Pelt. 

CHO: You knock her up, too? 

RIGSBY: No. 

CHO: So why are we talking about this? 

RIGSBY: Well, you clearly missed the departmental memo. They changed the policy on office relationships. Don't have to lay low anymore. 

CHO: Hmm. Good for you. 

RIGSBY: We could even get married if we wanted to. 

CHO: Ah. 

RIGSBY: That's it? "Ah"? 

CHO: She wants to get married and you don't want to. 

RIGSBY: No. Maybe. No. I don't know. What do you think I should do? 

CHO: You want to make it my fault? 

RIGSBY: Okay, you're right. It's my call. 

[They arrive. Cho turns off engine]

HARRIS: You're on private property. 

RIGSBY: CBI agents. You James Harris? 

HARRIS: That's right. 

RIGSBY: You sell a r*fle to a man named Larry Kincaid about two weeks ago? 

HARRIS: It's quite possible. I'd have to check my receipts. 

CHO: It's a violation of state law for you to sell firearms without a license. What are you hiding in the barn? 

HARRIS: My private arsenal. 

CHO: Open the door, please. Keep your hands where we can see them. 

HARRIS: If I recall, Larry bought one of these. A genuine 1840 Springfield musket. It's rigged up to f*re blanks now. 

CHO: You're a Civil w*r re-enactor. 

HARRIS: That's right— field commander for the Napa Valley Cumberland guard, 156th regiment. (Sighs) We got a battle next week in Fort Point. 

RIGSBY: That must be what the "156" meant on the victim's shirt. 

HARRIS: What victim? 

CHO: Larry was m*rder last night behind the Bella Vista chapel. 

HARRIS: Very sorry to hear that. 

RIGSBY: You know of anyone who may have wanted to hurt the victim? 

HARRIS: Oh, God, no. No. Larry was a harmless sort. Quiet, but... A good soldier. His loss is gonna leave a real hole in our little community. 

[RIGSBY, playing with a sword, puts it through a drum, which rattles]

HARRIS: You break it, you buy it. 

[Interior Bella Vista chapel]

JANE: Oh, please, don't stop praying on my account. 

MR BONNER: Oh, I'm not praying. 

JANE: Texting. In church. Isn't that a sin? 

MR BONNER: I hope not. I make my living with my thumbs. 

JANE: (Exhales) I'm, uh, sorry for busting your wife. 

MR BONNER: It's not the first drunken kiss she's shared with a man that wasn't me. And I'm sure it won't be the last. 

JANE: Do you have any idea who k*lled her brother? I believe it was someone from the wedding party. 

MR BONNER: No. No, you're wrong. No one had any reason to k*ll Uncle Larry. It would be like... k*lling a llama. Why would you? 

JANE: They spit? 

MR BONNER: (Chuckles) 

JANE: What do you do for a living? 

MR BONNER: I'm a speculator. I look for undervalued assets. 

JANE: What kind of assets? 

MR BONNER: Oh, artworks, islands— anything I can buy low and sell high. Last month I found a first edition Coverdale Bible at a church auction, printed in 1535. I was gonna do a reading from it at the wedding. 

JANE: How much is that worth? 

MR BONNER: Oh, uh, half a million. 

JANE: Wow. For an antique Bible. Where is it now? 

MR BONNER: With a private security firm. They were gonna deliver it here for the wedding tonight. Might as well just sell it now. (Sniffs) 

[Interior CBI: VAN PELT's desk. Her telephone rings] 

VAN PELT: Agent Van Pelt. 

JANE [Calling from the chapel, with a lowered voice]: Grace, I need your help. It is imperative that our young lovers go ahead with the wedding as planned. 

VAN PELT: Good luck with that. You ruined a girl's wedding. 

JANE: Yes, and I lack the putty to spackle those emotional wounds. That's why I'm calling you. 

VAN PELT: I have putty? 

JANE: No, you have life experience. Use it to convince the bride that her "happily ever after" begins tonight. 

VAN PELT: (Sighs) Really? 

(Snaps cell phone shut) 

[interior CBI interrogation room]

VAN PELT: (Sighs) Jane is feeling really badly for what happened in the bull pen. 

STACEY: He shouldn't. This was never going to work. He did me a huge favor. 

VAN PELT: Your families don't want the marriage. 

STACEY: Mom says I'm too smart for Roberto. And my dad is worried he won't be able to take care of me. And Roberto's parents just want him to marry a nice Catholic girl. 

VAN PELT: What do you want? 

STACEY: I want Roberto. But... It's too complicated. 

VAN PELT: So you're gonna throw it away? Look... (Sighs) (Chuckles) I had someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But... [we see RIGSBY watching through the one-way glass] staying together would have ended my career. So I let him go. 

STACEY: What happened? 

VAN PELT: Oh. (Sighs) (Chuckles) I got engaged to someone else. That ended badly. So I shut down a little inside. Closed some doors to feel safer. But... The problem is with every passing year, you close more doors. Until eventually... you wonder if anyone will ever get inside again. 

STACEY: That's really tragic. 

VAN PELT: Yeah. Well, that's why I keep the dress. 

STACEY: Your wedding dress? 

VAN PELT: (Chuckles) I know. It's crazy, right? But... It reminds me of who I was... (Clicks tongue) Naive. Maybe a little foolish, but... (Voice breaking) full of hope. I'm afraid if I destroy that dress... I'll forget what hope feels like. (Sighs) 

[Elsewhere in the CBI office]

(Indistinct conversations) 

LISBON: (Lowered voice) What are we gonna do about McAllister? 

JANE: (Lowered voice) Well, until I get some alone time with him, I'm not gonna draw any conclusions. 

LISBON: Well, he's avoided heights twice. 

JANE: If Red John is acrophobic, why would he tell my shrink? 

LISBON: To gain her trust so he could steal her file— which he did right before he k*lled her. 

STACEY: Guess what? We're getting married. No hard feelings. 

JANE: Well, I think that's a great decision. Congratulations. You— of course, you know, we will have to attend the ceremony, just in case Uncle Larry's k*ller reveals himself. 

STACEY: Okay. 

ROBERTO: Uh, you should follow us. The courthouse closes—

LISBON: Courthouse? What about your big Napa wedding? 

STACEY: It's a waste, but, I mean, what can we do? I can't find a priest. I canceled him this morning. And we only have the chapel for two more hours. So... 

JANE: Well, you know, it turns out that I am, in fact, a certified wedding officiant. I can marry you. 

STACEY:(Chuckles) Oh, my gosh. 

ROBERTO:  You're a lifesaver. Thank you. 

STACEY: Thank you so much. 

JANE: It would be my pleasure. 

LISBON: Oh, you are not legally ordained. 

JANE: Yeah, I've never used it. But I always thought it was a handy thing to have. 

LISBON: I don't believe you. 

JANE: I swear. I could marry you off in a minute. Hey, Ron. Don't tempt me. 

[Exterior at the Bella Vista viewpoint]

JANE [on cellphone]: Sheriff McAllister. Yeah, it's Patrick Jane. 

MCALLISTER (VO): What can I do for you, Patrick? 

JANE: Well, I'm at the chapel. We have a break in the case. How soon can you meet me here? 

MCALLISTER (VO and in person): Real soon. Funny thing, I, uh, saw your car in the lot, and I was just coming to find you. 

JANE: I didn't hear you coming. You move quietly. 

MCALLISTER: Well, it's an old habit. I've been a hunter most of my life. 

JANE: Really? What do you hunt? 

MCALLISTER: Anything with a face. (Chuckles) Game is game, right? You hunt? 

JANE: Me? No. No. Too squeamish. I— I couldn't handle all the skinning and the gutting. 

MCALLISTER:Yeah. Sure, yeah. Clean and quarter a k*ll. It takes some stomach for that. 

JANE: And a certain bloodlust. 

MCALLISTER: (Chuckles) There's a grain of truth in that. So you got a break in the duck pond k*ller case? 

JANE: Well... Less a break, but, uh, more a plan. I'm gonna reveal the k*ller tonight. And I need you and your people to just hang back. 

MCALLISTER: No problem. I truly appreciate you making my job easier for me. (Chuckles) 

[Interior of the chapel, which is filling with guests]

(Indistinct conversations) 

RIGSBY: You look great. 

VAN PELT: Thank you, Wayne. 

LISBON': Jane thinks our man's gonna try to sneak out of the reception. We need to be there. I'm gonna follow him. 

VAN PELT: What if he's too cautious to make a move while we're here? 

LISBON: If he's in the reception tent for more than two hours, Jane wants you to create some sort of distraction. He thinks it'll encourage him out. 

VAN PELT: What kind of distraction? 

RIGSBY: You know what? Don't worry. I can handle this. 

LISBON': Great. Great. Let's split up. 

(Indistinct conversations continue) 

MR BONNER: "For this thing shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and the twain shall become one flesh." 

JANE: Whoa. That sounds messy... But beautiful. Thank you, Mr. Bonner. Reading from the very rare and valuable Coverdale Bible. Scripture—tick. Rings—we've, uh, we've done that. 

MR BONNER: Have you ever done this before? 

JANE: Have you? 

MR BONNER: Yes. I'm married. 

JANE: (Whispers) What's next? 

MR BONNER: Kissing. 

JANE: That's what I thought. Okay, um... If there are no objections... Nope, okay. By the power vested in me— by a mail-order ministry— I... I now pronounce you husband and wife. Roberto... You may kiss the bride. 

(Cheers and applause) 

♪ (Organ playing Mendelssohn's "Wedding March") ♪

[JANE sighs and dabs at his eyes with a handkerchief. MR BONNER hands the Bible to ANGEL]

JANE: I'll, uh... I'll guard that for you, if you'd like. 

ANGEL:(Chuckles) You wish. Mr. Bonner trusted me to lock this away in the priest's room for the reception, so... (Clicks tongue) Step back, son. 

[Interior wedding pavilion]

♪ (Dance music playing) ♪ 

(Indistinct conversations) 

LISBON (to a guest who is dancing with RIGSBY, even though he is not dancing): Excuse me? Thank you. Try the cake. 

RIGSBY: (Sighs) Oh, thank you. 

LISBON: It's been two hours, and nobody's going anywhere near the exit. We need a distraction. 

RIGSBY: Okay. (Sighs) How do I look? 

LISBON: Fine. Why? 

RIGSBY: Good. (Clears throat) Excuse me? Is this on? (Speaks inaudibly) Yeah. 

(Microphone thuds, feedback shrills) 

RIGSBY: (Amplified voice) Uh, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, for, uh, one second, please? I'd like to offer one more toast. I'd like to thank Stacey and Roberto for making me realize just how important it is to protect a dream. I didn't protect my dream. To be honest, I, uh, well, I didn't know how. But what can you do when you meet the right person at the wrong time? 

ANGEL: Do her anyway! 

(Laughter) 

RIGSBY: Well, yeah, that works... For a while. But... Eventually you say things or don't say things. You, uh, make more mistakes than you can count. And in the end, well... Things fall apart. 

VAN PELT: (Lowered voice) Is this your idea of a distraction? 

RIGSBY: (Whispers) Trust me. (Normal voice) Now if you're lucky, you might find each other again. But there's too much history and heartache to ever find your way back to that dream. At least that's what I thought. I'm hoping... I was wrong. 

(Guests murmuring) 

RIGSBY: Grace... Will you marry me? 

(Exhales sharply) 

RIGSBY: (Chuckles) Well— well, say something. This is real. 

(Laughter)

VAN PELT: (Smiling, gasping) Yes, Wayne. Of course I'll marry you. 

(Cheering) (Laughing) (Chuckles) ( Glasses clink)

LISBON': Target's on the move. 

[A man walks swiftly to the chapel, works at a locked door which clatters open) 

JANE: Oh, that was easy. 

CHARLIE: How'd you know I'd be here? 

JANE: You know, the big fight at the CBI, you were the only one that wanted the wedding to go ahead as planned. Ergo, you were the guilty party. 

CHARLIE: Guilty? I was just checking on the Bible. I didn't do anything. 

LISBON: You k*lled a man. 

CHARLIE: What?

JANE: Oh, Charlie, stop. You're just embarrassing yourself. 

CHO: There's only one way you could jimmy a d*ad bolt— with a putty Kn*fe. You sawed through the bolt. 

LISBON:So you snuck out of the party, but... somebody caught you in the act, didn't they? 

[flashback]

[CHARLIE is sawing at the lock]

LARRY: Charlie? 

CHARLIE: What are you doing here, Larry? 

LARRY: (Chuckles) I came to swipe the priest's wine. We ran out at the party. Pretty smart, huh? Uh, what are you doing here? Is that a saw? You're gonna steal the Bible, aren't you? 

CHARLIE: You know how much that thing is worth? Larry, it's insured. All right? Mr. Bonner will get his money, and we'll get rich. That's right, I'll cut you in. Okay, you'll never have to deliver another pizza in your life. 

LARRY: I kind of like delivering pizzas. I'm going back to the party now. 

CHARLIE: Larry, wait! Well, you're not gonna tell them, are you? 

LARRY: No, I— I'm just going back. Bye. 

[CHARLIE seizes a heavy candlestick and hits LARRY on the head with it]

[present day]

JANE: I don't suppose you wanted to k*ll him, but, uh, if wishes were horses, and all that... 

LISBON: And you not being from around here, you didn't know about the cliff, so you threw the body in the pond. I suppose you took the wallet and I.D. because you wanted to make it look like a robbery. 

CHO: You can put down the putty Kn*fe now.

CHARLIE: Whatever. (Clanks and clatters) I'll leave this up to my lawyers. Just... Don't make the handcuffs too tight, okay? 

JANE: Oh, no, no. I don't do the cuffing... 

CHO: Jane, move away! Charlie, put the g*n down. 

CHARLIE: My dad died in jail. I'll take my chances on the outside, thank you. 

JANE: You know, if you just let me go, I'm sure they'd be happy to open the dialogue with you. 

LISBON: Charlie, stay calm. You don't want to go down this road. 

JANE: No, you don't. 

[CHARLIE fires his g*n: LISBON dives out of his way]

CHARLIE: Get away from me! You wanna live? Get me out of here. Upstairs, now! Go! 

[CHARLIE forces JANE through a door and up some stairs]

CHO: Charlie, think about what you're doing! 

[CHARLIE fires his g*n through the door he just closed]

LISBON: What's through the door? 

CHO: No idea. 

LISBON: I'll cover it. Set up an exterior perimeter with Rigsby and Van Pelt, and call for backup. 

ACT 3

[Interior. The stairs lead to the belfry. There are pigeons roosting and unglazed windows lead to the chapel roof]

(Thuds) 

CHARLIE: Keep moving. 

JANE: Uh, yeah, I'd— I'd love to, Charlie, but without wings— 

CHARLIE: On the roof. Now! We're getting out of here. 

(Whispers) Okay. 

[JANE reluctantly edges slowly along the ridge. A roof beam creaks] 

JANE: Whoa! Uh, you know if there's a-a way down from here? 

CHARLIE: We're gonna find a way down. 

JANE: Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Uh... 

MCALLISTER [appearing at the top of a ladder at the other end of the ridge]: Hey! 

[JANE slips. He clings to the ridge as some tiles shatter on the ground below]

MCALLISTER: Drop the g*n. 

[CHARLIE raises his g*n, but MCALLISTER sh**t him; CHARLIE falls from the roof] 

MCALLISTER: Now he's talking directly to Jesus. 

[Holsters g*n]

JANE: (Voice shaking) Where— where did you come from? 

[MCALLISTER climbs to the top of the ladder, walks confidently along the ridge. He clearly has no fear of heights]

MCALLISTER: The church keeps an extension ladder for tree trimming. Don't look down. Bad place for the spins. Give me your hand. 

[He pulls JANE to the ridge. JANE crawls back to the belfry, MCALLISTER walks behind him]

MCALLISTER: Let's go. Good thing I ignored your request to stay away, huh? Guess I just felt obliged to keep an eye on you. 

JANE: Yeah. Why? 

MCALLISTER: Truth is, I didn't trust ya. The way you forced your way onto the case here— it almost seemed like you had a hidden agenda. 

JANE: Ah, well, sometimes I give out mixed messages. It's one of my many failings. 

[LISBON enters via the stairs]

LISBON: It looks like everybody's okay? 

JANE: Sure. He saved my life out there on the roof. 

MCALLISTER: My pleasure. I'm at your disposal anytime. I'll see you two downstairs. 

[MCALLISTER disturbs a roosting pigeon as he approaches the stairs. Bird wings flap, alarming him]

MCALLISTER: Hey, get it out! Get it out! 

(Bird squawks) 

MCALLISTER: I didn't see that coming. I hate those things. 

(Birds cooing) 

LISBON: (Sighs) You're not hurt? 

JANE: Oh, I'm fine, Lisbon. 

LISBON: Ha. Well, you missed all the action, you know. 

JANE: Oh, I did? Mm. Did you not see me out there on the roof? That was some action. 

LISBON: This is different. It looks like we're going to be spending a little bit more time in Napa than we expected. 

JANE: Really? 

[Interior of VAN PELT'S room. She wordlessly pulls a large, flat box from under her bed: it contains her wedding dress. She unwraps it, smiling]

[Interior: a (courthouse?) office in Napa. VAN PELT is wearing her wedding dress, RIGSBY is in a suit, LISBON and CHO are present]

OFFICIANT: Join hands and face each other, please. Grace, you'll begin. Repeat after me. I, Grace... 

VAN PELT: I, Grace... 

OFFICIANT: Take you, Wayne... 

VAN PELT: Take you, Wayne... To be my husband. To have and to hold from this day forward... (Sighs) For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish... Until death do us part. 

OFFICIANT: You seem to have that down. 

VAN PELT: (Chuckles) This has been a long time coming. 

OFFICIANT: And now you, Wayne. 

RIGSBY: Uh, everything she just said. (Chuckles) Grace... No more wasted time. I want to spend every day with you. Every day for the rest of our lives and... whatever comes after. 

OFFICIANT: Love freely given has no beginning or end. Your rings represent your unending love for each other. May I have the ring for Grace, please? 

RIGSBY: Thanks. (Chuckles)

OFFICIANT: Place that ring on Grace's finger and repeat after me. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. 

RIGSBY: Grace, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. 

OFFICIANT: With this ring, I marry you. 

RIGSBY: With this ring... I marry you. 

OFFICIANT: May we have the ring for Wayne please, I think you know what to do. 

VAN PELT: (Chuckles) Yeah. Wayne, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. With this ring, I marry you. 

[The camera pans and behind the OFFICIANT we now see that the office door is ajar and JANE is also watching the wedding through the small gap. He is smiling and weeping]

OFFICIANT: In as much as the two of you have made known your mutual desire and your consent to be married, by virtue of the authority invested in me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. (Chuckles) You may kiss the bride. 

[VAN PELT and RIGSBY kiss. In the background, unnoticed, JANE quietly closes the door and walks away.

RIGSBY: I'm sorry it's not the fairy tale you dreamed of. 

VAN PELT: (Exhales) I'll take the real thing any day. 

[They continue to kiss]

CHO [Checks his wristwatch and speaks quietly, as though reluctantly interrupting]: Hey, guys... Your ride to the hotel is ready. 

RIGSBY: We have a ride? [To VAN PELT] We have a ride.

[Exterior of courthouse. A horse-drawn carriage awaits, driven by a man in a Civil w*r army uniform. Lined up are other Civil w*r reenacters, in uniform. James Harris commands]

HARRIS: Twenry-one g*n salute, Formation! 

[HARRIS draws his sword]

HARRIS: Ready! 

[Seven armed reenacters ready their g*n]

HARRIS: Aim! 

[The g*n are pointed upwards]

HARRIS: f*re! 

[g*n fired]

RIGSBY: I think that's our cue. 

HARRIS: Ready! 

[g*n readied]

HARRIS: Aim! 

[g*n aimed]

HARRIS: f*re! 

[g*n fired]

HARRIS: Ready! 

[g*n readied]

HARRIS: Aim! 

[g*n aimed]

HARRIS: f*re! 

[g*n fired]

[VAN PELT and RIGSBY climb into the horse-drawn carriage and kiss as it sets off. We see that a 'Just Married' sign has been attached to the rear of the carriage, and also empty drinks cans, which rattle behind them as they go. CHO smiles as they depart.]
{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "06x03 - Wedding In Red"}