FADE IN:

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - NIGHT

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAR SPEEDS ALONG THE ROAD AND INTO THE WATER)

(SFX: HUGE SPLASH)

CUT TO:

UNDERWATER - NIGHT

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAR SINKS TO THE LAKE FLOOR)

(FADE OUT)

(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

(SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS)

TONY: No, for the twenty third time.

"BLACK WATER"

(SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS)

KATE: Are you going to answer that?

TONY: I'm in hell, Kate.

KATE: Well, do they have money there? Because you owe me... forty three dollars and eighty six cents for lunch this week.

TONY: I will gladly pay you today if you'll answer this call for me.

KATE: Yeah? Who is it?

TONY: Crazy ex-girlfriend. Haven't seen her since college.

KATE: Stalker?

TONY: More like a stalk-him.

KATE: What do you want me to say to her?

TONY: I don't know. Tell her you're my wife or something. She's been calling nonstop for two days. So I'm begging you here, Kate. Please.

KATE: You pay me back today.

TONY: Sure.

KATE: (INTO PHONE) Hello? Me? Oh, I am Tony's wife. Uh, yes. We got married a few years ago. (WHISPERS TO TONY) We have kids? (INTO PHONE) Two. Yes. And we're very, very happy. So please don't call back again. (TO TONY) I feel like I need a shower.

(HANGS UP PHONE)

TONY: Pay the lady, Probie.

MCGEE: He bet me forty dollars he could get you to say you're his wife today.

KATE: Tony, I'm going to k*ll you.

GIBBS: DiNozzo, pull the case file on Lieutenant Brian McAllister.

TONY: McAllister? We going after more treasure hunters, boss?

MCGEE: Treasure hunters?

TONY: Before your time, Probie. McAllister disappeared two years ago. His family offered a million dollar reward to anyone who could find him.

KATE: I had a few friends in the Secret Service who used to work that case on the weekends.

TONY: It was the Holy Grail for every amateur detective on the East coast, Kate.

MCGEE: So what happened?

TONY: Nothing - cold case.

GIBBS: Not anymore.

CINDY AMES: (ON TV) Thousands have searched for the heir to the McAllister Industries' fortune. Each hoping to collect the one million dollar reward offered by his famous family. Today, private investigator Monroe Cooper believes he's one step closer to solving the mystery. Mister Cooper, is it true that you have finally found Brian McAllister?

(SFX: TV CLICKS OFF)

MCGEE: Whoa. Whoa. Boss, that was... that was Monroe Cooper! The man who can solve the unsolvable. He's a... a famous detective.

GIBBS: Do I look like I care, McGee?

MCGEE: No.

GIBBS: Grab your gear. We're going to Black Lake.

CUT TO:

INT. VAN - MOVING

KATE: Lieutenant Brian McAllister, graduated Annapolis in ninety-seven, third in his class. He vanished somewhere between October fourth and the seventh, two thousand and two. No leads.

TONY: Thing I don't get is why a guy worth millions would join the military in the first place.

GIBBS: You think money has anything to do with patriotism, DiNozzo?

TONY: No, I'm just saying if I were rich, you know, I would do nothing.

KATE: I thought your parents were loaded.

TONY: They are.

KATE: So why do you work for the government then?

GIBBS: Because they know what their son would do with the money.

TONY: I can't even get an advance on the will, Kate.

GIBBS: Hey, McGee!

MCGEE: Yeah, boss?

GIBBS: What about that private dick, Cooper?

MCGEE: Yeah. Uh... he's a former NYPD detective, works mostly for insurance companies and celebrities now. He makes a lot of money solving cases like this. Guy's a... he's kind of a cross between Columbo and Sherlock Holmes.

(SFX: VAN HITS A POTHOLE)

KATE: You know, we really should get a seat belt back there. Hey! What the hell are you doing?

TONY: I'm looking for my fork.

KATE: Well I can guarantee you...it is not there!

CUT TO:

EXT. BLACK LAKE - DAY

GIBBS: Tony, grab the gear. See if McGee's still alive.

TONY: On it, Boss.

GIBBS: Special Agent Gibbs, Todd, NCIS.

LESTER: We've been waiting for you to show up. Sheriff Deke Lester. That detective fella, Cooper, he thinks that missing McAllister kid's in there somewhere.

GIBBS: Yeah. Is he?

LESTER: I can't say, but my divers found a Chrysler convertible sitting on the bottom.

KATE: Lieutenant McAllister owned a Chrysler convertible. Disappeared with him, Gibbs.

LESTER: I'm fixing to pull it out. Once we ID the vehicle we can decide on who's got jurisdiction.

GIBBS: Works for me, Sheriff. Where is Cooper?

LESTER: I don't rightly know. I imagine he's off detecting or something.

RADIO: (V.O./FILTERED) Hey Deke, we've got the chains set here.

LESTER: Let's haul her up.

RADIO: (V.O./FILTERED) Yes, Sir.

LESTER: You ready to see what we caught, Agent Gibbs?

CUT TO:

EXT. TRUCK - DAY

TONY: Hurry it up, Probie.

MCGEE: You sure this is necessary? I kind of feel like a dork.

TONY: You are a dork. No no no no. Bad move.

MCGEE: What?

TONY: If Gibbs catches you reading instead of working, you're history.

MCGEE: It's not for reading. I'm hoping I can get Detective Cooper to sign it. The lead character in the book is based on him.

TONY: "Celebrity P.I.?" Never heard of it. No!

MCGEE: I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it. There's no pictures in it.

TONY: Did you say something, Probie?

MCGEE: Yeah. I'm not a dork.

TONY: Whatever you say, Sponge Bob.

(SFX: HOIST)

LESTER: Take it slow now, Charlie!

TONY: I think it's safe to say that car's not going to run again.

LESTER: All right, hold it right there.

GIBBS: All right, Kate.

KATE: The Lieutenant's tags, Gibbs.

LESTER: Congratulations, looks like you found your missing sailor.

GIBBS: Not yet.

COOPER: I think you'll find that pile of bones is McAllister, Special Agent...

GIBBS: Gibbs. And I'll wait for my M.E. to determine that.

COOPER: Oh of course. Monroe Cooper.

GIBBS: (READS) The man who solves the unsolvable.

COOPER: So you've heard of me?

GIBBS: No. It's on your card.

COOPER: My publicist's idea. Works great with the yokels.

GIBBS: How'd you track this vehicle to Black Lake?

COOPER: Leg work. Luck. My gut.

GIBBS: Does it say that on your card, too?

COOPER: I have a policy, Agent Gibbs. You share information with me, and I share it with you. We have a deal?

GIBBS: That kind of goes against my policy, Cooper.

COOPER: Which is?

GIBBS: Throw people in jail who obstruct my investigations.

COOPER: Uh-huh. I'll try to keep that in mind.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. NCIS AUTOPSY ROOM - NIGHT

DUCKY: Well the dental records are conclusive, Jethro. This is our missing Lieutenant.

GIBBS: Any idea how he died?

DUCKY: After two years in the water? Difficult to say. Do you suspect foul play?

GIBBS: Oh, you know me, Duck. I suspect everything.

DUCKY: Yes, an admirable trait in an investigator. And also the reason your three marriages ended in divorce.

GIBBS: Oh yeah? All these years I thought it was because I was a bastard.

DUCKY: Well, of course, that didn't help. There is evidence of hairline fracture on the frontal lobe of the skull.

GIBBS: Cause?

DUCKY: Well, it's consistent with most vehicle accidents, possibly from contact with the steering column.

GIBBS: What about drugs?

DUCKY: Well, in this state, a toxicological screen would be useless. However, drugs are a possibility.

GIBBS: Too many of those, Duck. Too many.

DUCKY: Well, my current opinion is that Lieutenant McAllister met with a tragic accident. Most likely he drowned.

GIBBS: Keep looking.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED)

DUCKY: Your last boy, Yurich.

JIMMY: Did you meet any of his wives?

DUCKY: I introduced him to the last one.

JIMMY: Really? What went wrong?

DUCKY: It's difficult to say, Mister Palmer. She doesn't talk to me anymore.

CUT TO:

INT. NCIS GARAGE - DAY

TONY: (LAUGHS LIGHTLY) You know what movie this reminds me of, Kate?

KATE: The Wizard of Oz?

ABBY: I'll get you, my pretty!

TONY: No. I meant the one they make you watch in high school. Thirty minutes of cops pulling d*ad teenagers out of car wrecks.

ABBY: Oh, my god! I love those! Blood on the Highway. Drink, Drive, Die! I keep hoping they're going to release them on DVD.

TONY: Yeah, me too.

ABBY: Yeah.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

GIBBS: What do we have?

TONY: Ah hey boss. I found a suitcase in back. Looks like he packed enough for about a weekend. Dive team will be back with the stuff from the debris field in a few hours.

GIBBS: Abs?

ABBY: The brake lines are corroded, but they're intact. Something's stuck. Whoa. Hey, Kate. I've got a present for you. I think it's one of your ex-boyfriends.

TONY: It's a cold fish! Get it, Kate?

MCGEE: I don't think this was an accident. It's a b*llet.

GIBBS: McAllister was m*rder.

(FADE OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. LAB - DAY

(SFX: MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY B.G.)

(MUSIC CLICKS OFF)

GIBBS: Your speakers are broken.

ABBY: Oh, Gibbs. That was the best part of the song.

GIBBS: Correction. Your ears are broken. What did the divers find?

ABBY: Actually, it's more like what didn't they find. My theory is they're getting paid by the piece. They recovered everything within a twenty meter radius of the vehicle. Sunglasses, golfballs, Rick James eight-track, typewriter. I didn't see any point in bringing the Maytag up from the evidence lockup.

GIBBS: Anything to do with the case?

ABBY: As a matter of fact, found directly beneath the vehicle... can you hear me now? I might be able to recover some data from the memory chip.

GIBBS: What about the b*llet we brought up from the wreck last night?

ABBY: Forty five caliber, two hundred and thirty grain hardball. Lots and lots of stopping power. The grooving matches a Colt forty-five, old-school military version.

GIBBS: Did you work up a trajectory, yet?

ABBY: Of course. The b*llet's entry angle into the side of the door is obvious as Anna Nicole's implants.

GIBBS: Who?

ABBY: You know, married that old guy? Had a TV show? Got fat, got thin, got fat, got thin, fat, thin--

GIBBS: Stop!

ABBY: So using that angle, I back-traced the trajectory. The b*llet traveled on this path. So unless he was driving with his feet from the backseat, which is something that I have tried but do not recommend...

GIBBS: Abby?

ABBY: The round had to have gone through McAllister's body.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

DUCKY: It's entirely possible, Jethro, but if Abby's animation is correct, the b*llet passed clean through the thoracic cavity. Unfortunately, without leaving any evidence of its passing.

GIBBS: Hell of a sh*t.

DUCKY: Yeah.

GIBBS: The vehicle had to be going over seventy to end up where we found it in the lake.

DUCKY: Well, at that speed a b*llet passing through the ribcage without so much as glancing a single bone... huh! A hell of a sh*t, indeed.

GIBBS: More like impossible. Thank you, Duck.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

JIMMY: Doctor?

DUCKY: He means the vehicle was stationary when Lieutenant McAllister was sh*t, Mister Palmer.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: (V.O.) Lieutenant McAllister was last seen in Norfolk on a Friday. Then found three hundred miles away in Black Lake, Virginia. (ON CAMERA) Which would make sense if he was heading here to the McAllister Family compound in Shenandoah.

MCGEE: So he was heading home for the weekend?

KATE: Another twenty miles and he would have made it, McGee.

GIBBS: DiNozzo?

TONY:

TONY: McAllister's military records are spotless, Boss. Been running background on his family. Mother died in ninety three. Father passed away in two thousand two... three months after the Lieutenant disappeared. The only surviving next of kin is this guy. Thomas McAllister, his younger brother.

(CONT.) Washed out of Annapolis freshman year. Arrested a bunch of times for suspected DWI and marijuana possession. Never convicted.

KATE: Figures, the rich never are.

TONY: Even richer now, Kate. He inherited everything. He's currently the CEO of his own airline.

MCGEE: The Good Son and the Bad Seed.

KATE: Very Biblical.

TONY: The Navy notified him last night about his brother. CACO said he took it pretty well.

NCIS WORKER: Lunch!

KATE: Oh, thank you. I took the liberty of ordering lunch today. Something healthy for once. There you are. They're tofu veggie wraps. They're good, Tony. Abby and I eat them all the time.

GIBBS: DiNozzo, track down the bad seed. I want to know what he was doing around the time his brother disappeared.

TONY: Yeah, I already set up an interview for later this afternoon, Boss.

GIBBS: Take Kate. McGee, contact Cooper. I want to know how he found that vehicle.

MCGEE: So we're going to cooperate with him?

GIBBS: No, McGee, he's going to cooperate with me.

KATE: I'll be right back. I'm just going to run this down to Abby. Enjoy.

(SFX: ALL THROW VEGGIE WRAPS IN TRASH CAN)

CUT TO:

EXT. HANGAR - DAY

(SFX: CAR DOORS CLOSE)

KATE: Beyond first class? You gotta be kidding me. You might as well call it Rich Jackass Airways.

TONY: I think it sounds cool.

KATE: You would.

TONY: What's that supposed to mean?

KATE: Nothing, Rockefeller.

TONY: Oh, I get it. So because I grew up with money that somehow makes me bad. Very deep.

KATE: Well, it's better than having to work everyday like I had to.

TONY: Listen, do you think money makes life easier? Huh? Everything was just a big ol' cakewalk for little Anthony DiNozzo? You tell me, Kate, because I really want to know.

KATE: I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't mean anything by it.

TONY: Because do you want to know the answer to your question? Yes. Money makes a huge difference. Huge. I miss it every single day of my life so much it makes me want to cry.

KATE: You're pathetic.

TONY: It's part of my charm.

KATE: Yeah.

CUT TO:

INT. HANGAR - DAY

TONY: All right, let's find this little twinkle toes .... Hey, there. We're looking for your boss, Thomas McAllister. Is he around?

THOMAS: You'll have to hold on a second. Could you pass me that socket wrench, please, Miss?

KATE: Is he even here or shall we stop by a country club or something?

THOMAS: I'm Tom McAllister.

TONY: Agents Todd, DiNozzo. NCIS.

KATE: Do you always work on your own planes, Mister McAllister?

THOMAS: Whenever I can find time in my busy social schedule down at the club, Agent Todd.

KATE: I'm sorry about that. I didn't...

THOMAS: It's fine. You would have been right a couple years ago. And please, call me Tom.

KATE: Kate. So, do you own all these planes?

THOMAS: Me and the bank. That's my new one out there. I plan on taking it for a test flight today if you're interested.

TONY: You don't seem too broken up for a guy who just lost his brother, Tom.

THOMAS: I've known he's been d*ad for quite some time, Agent DiNozzo. The first week you expect a ransom note. After a month you pray. A year... you just know.

KATE: When was the last time you talked to your brother?

THOMAS: About three months before the accident. Would you believe we grew up fishing at Black Lake?

TONY: The thing is it wasn't an accident.

THOMAS: The Navy, they said...

TONY: Your brother was m*rder.

THOMAS: Are you absolutely positive about that?

KATE: He was sh*t on the weekend of October fourth, two thousand two. I'm sorry.

TONY: Considering his body was found dumped twenty miles from your house, we'd like to know where you were the weekend he disappeared?

THOMAS: Me? I was at home.

TONY: Anyone who can verify that?

THOMAS: I was with my father.

TONY: Let me rephrase. Is there anyone who can verify that is still alive?

THOMAS: No. Are you saying you think I did it?

KATE: We're just following up on any leads we can, Tom.

THOMAS: Of course. Whatever I can do to help.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

MCGEE: I can't tell you what an honor this is, Sir. Thank you.

COOPER: Don't believe everything you read in the book, kid. It's called fiction for a reason.

MCGEE: I actually write a little myself. Is there any truth to the rumor that S.E. Eckhart is in fact you?

COOPER: If I was a bestselling author, would I be crawling through the swamps of Virginia searching for reward money?

MCGEE: No, I guess not.

COOPER: Damn straight. Now tell me about your boss. Is he always such a hardass?

MCGEE: Agent Gibbs? He's a lot like you, actually. In fact, the main character in my book is based on him.

COOPER: Oh, yeah. I hope you got a better deal than I got.

MCGEE: He doesn't know it... yet.

GIBBS: Don't know what, McGee?

COOPER: What a great guy I am, Gibbs.

GIBBS: You ready to tell me how you found McAllister?

COOPER: You ready to tell me what you pulled out of his car and his corpse?

GIBBS: Depends.

COOPER: On what?

GIBBS: How bad you want that million dollar reward.

COOPER: Oh, considering how I don't collect 'til you put the m*rder behind bards, oh, you got me by the short hairs here, Gibbs. Yeah. I figured the Lieutenant headed home that weekend. But the back road that he liked to drive... I think it was washed out. Here, take a look at these weather patterns. I spent nine weeks getting these from the National Weather Service. Every Doppler readout, every satellite image I could find. Pocket of storms, real tight, near the road.

MCGEE: Enough to swell that creek alongside?

COOPER: Yeah, but only on that side of the mountain, kid. My educated guess? I think McAllister doubled back, took this road to the other side where the storm hadn't reached yet. See, the locals only use that road when there are bad storms.

MCGEE: It's right along Black Lake, Boss.

COOPER: I figured if somebody wanted to k*ll him, they had to know the roads and the weather the way McAllister did. And they'd have to know he was coming. Am I right?

(SFX: ELEVATOR DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

TONY: I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself.

KATE: What?

TONY: Kate Todd acting like a high school girl with a crush.

KATE: He's not a m*rder, Tony.

TONY: I'm sorry, were you using the new NCIS magical m*rder detector back there?

KATE: My gut.

TONY: Ah. If you were a guy, I would say you were using--

KATE: Don't even say it if you want to live!

GIBBS: What did Thomas McAllister have to say?

KATE: He hadn't heard from his brother in three months.

TONY: Definitely hiding something, boss.

KATE: My best guess, it was grief. There's no way he's involved, Gibbs.

GIBBS: Abs, what do you have?

KATE: The last three calls that came in on the phone from the lake were all made on Friday, October fourth.

GIBBS: Yeah?

KATE: And they were all from his brother, Thomas McAllister. Sorry, Kate.

(MUSIC OUT)

FADE IN:

INT. NCIS GARAGE - DAY

(SFX: TRUNK CLOSES)

COOPER: This McAllister family's got more skeletons than a North Korean prison camp, Gibbs. That's everything I turned up. Six months of leg work. Is it okay to smoke in here, sweetheart?

KATE: It's Agent Todd, and no, Detective Cooper. It's a federal office building.

COOPER: It's a wonder you guys catch anybody working under these conditions.

KATE: We manage.

GIBBS: This supposed to be in some sort of order?

COOPER: The order is up here, Gibbs. And I'll be glad to lay it out for you once you tell me what you found in that wreck.

GIBBS: Lieutenant McAllister was sh*t.

COOPER: How many times?

KATE: At least once.

COOPER: You get the round?

GIBBS: It was recovered from the passenger-side door.

COOPER: Uh-huh. p*stol, huh? r*fle would go clear through.

GIBBS: Forty five.

COOPER: Ah. Car must have been stopped. He was approached, but not alarmed. Know his attacker? One sh*t, point blank. Blam. Poor sap never saw it coming. You know how, Gibbs. Want to know why?

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

TONY: Ow! Angle your end down, Probie.

MCGEE: I told you we should have taken the legs off.

TONY: Ow! Ow! I said down! What does Cooper need this thing for anyway?

MCGEE: He's old school. It's part of his process. He has solved every case he's taken on, Tony. How many detectives do you know with a hundred percent batting average?

TONY: You mean besides Gibbs?(SFX: TONY AND MCGEE STRUGGLE TO MOVE THE TABLE)

TONY: Finally.

GIBBS: Change of plans. We're doing this upstairs.

(SFX: ELEVATOR DOORS SLIDE CLOSED)

MCGEE: Maybe we should take the stairs.

TONY: Maybe you should take the legs off like I told you to. I'm going to take the stairs.

MCGEE: I'm the one who said that--

TONY: Ah! Ah!

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

COOPER: Elaine McAllister, the mother. Into the occult in a big way. Psychic, séances, all that weird sh-stuff. She dies in ninety three, the family falls apart.

GIBBS: How?

COOPER: The old man. He took it pretty hard. He decided he was going to contact the d*ad wife. Starts neglecting the family business.

GIBBS: What do you mean by make contact?

COOPER: He consults this space cadet, Saleena Lockhart. Claimed to be a psychic.

KATE: I've heard of her. She used to have that tabloid astrology column.

TONY: I don't buy it.

KATE: Astrology?

TONY: No, you reading tabloids.

COOPER: She weasels her way into the old man's life. Next thing you know she's practically running it. McAllister Avionics starts to slide until it's almost bankrupt by two thousand.

GIBBS: How much money did he leave her?

COOPER: You're quick, Gibbs. Almost ten million. He changed his will two weeks after the Lieutenant went missing. The surviving brother, still fighting it in court.

TONY: She's kind of like Anna Nicole.

COOPER: Who?

GIBBS: That's what I said. McGee, run a background on this whack job. I want to know where she is right now.

MCGEE: On it, boss.

COOPER: I know what you're thinking. She didn't do it, Gibbs. This is a smoking g*n. Thomas McAllister had a plan to save the family's fortune. He wanted to get out of avionics and into his own airline. And it's a good plan, but it involved leveraging every remaining asset the McAllister's had. The brother didn't agree.

GIBBS: The Lieutenant was cashing out of the company?

COOPER: And going his own way. This is the contract divesting him of all family business.

GIBBS: How'd you get this?

COOPER: You don't want to know. What you want to do is look at the date.

GIBBS: October fifth, two thousand two.

COOPER: The weekend he vanished. Luckily for the little brother, he didn't sign the contract.

GIBBS: I don't believe in luck.

COOPER: Neither do I. So when are you bringing McAllister in?

GIBBS: I'm not.

COOPER: What?! But it's all there! Motive, opportunity, the calls on the Lieutenant's cell phone.

GIBBS: When you were a cop, did you let civilians lay out your cases? Or did you work them yourself?

COOPER: NCIS has had this case for two years. How long am I supposed to wait?

GIBBS: 'Till I'm done! You are looking for the reward. I am looking for a k*ller.

COOPER: Thomas McAllister is your man, trust me!

GIBBS: I don't trust anyone either. Kate, how is your rapport with McAllister?

TONY: She's got more than a rapport, boss.

GIBBS: Well, good. Call him. You're having dinner with him tonight.

KATE: What if he says no?

TONY: The way he was looking at you? I think you're going to be the one saying no.

GIBBS: McGee, you find my psychic yet?

MCGEE: I have her business address. It's a TV talk show set in D.C. She's there now.

GIBBS: DiNozzo, you're with me. Hey Cooper! I trust you can find your way out.

CUT TO:

EXT. SOUND STAGE - DAY

TONY: You believe in any of this psychic stuff?

GIBBS: No, you?

TONY: Ah, used one on a case in Baltimore once. Lead us right to this kidnapped five year old girl.

GIBBS: Is that a fact?

TONY: Yeah. How do you explain it?

GIBBS: Simple. She was probably in on it.

ASSISTANT: (V.O.) Rolling!

GIBBS: Special Agent Gibbs and DiNozzo, NCIS. We're looking to find Saleena Lockhart.

ASSISTANT: Yeah, she's inside, but you can't go in. Hey! Hey, wait! They're still sh**ting! Damn!

(GIBBS AND TONY ENTER THE STAGE)

CUT TO:

INT. STAGE - DAY

SALEENA: And your grandfather wants you to know that he will always be with you, Sally. Always.

(SFX: SALLY CRIES)

(SFX: APPLAUSE)

SALLY PARKER: Thank you so much, Saleena.

SALEENA: And remember, look and you shall see, listen and you will hear. Our departed loved ones still have much to teach us.

(SFX: APPLAUSE)

TONY: Huh. You think this is how they do it on the Oprah Show?

GIBBS: Never believe what you see on TV.

SALEENA: Until next time, I'm Saleena Lockhart.

STAGE MANAGER: And cut!

(SFX: BELL)

SALEENA: Look and you shall see... spelled S-E-A? What kind of third grader is writing these cue cards!?

STAGE MANAGER: Just give us ten minutes and we'll sh**t it again.

SALEENA: I am financing this pilot with my own money. I can't afford another of your ten minutes!

SALLY PARKER: If anybody needs me, I'll be in craft service.

SALEENA: Make sure you save some for the rest of the crew. What?!

ASSISTANT: There are two guys here to see you. I tried to stop them. Sorry.

GIBBS: Special Agents...

SALEENA: Gibbs and DiNozzo from NCIS. How may I help you?

GIBBS: You're the psychic. You tell me.

SALEENA: Brian McAllister. You found his remains in Black Lake.

TONY: Wow, she's good, Boss.

GIBBS: It's on the news, DiNozzo.

SALEENA: I told Brian's father that I felt Brian was in a cold, dark place.

GIBBS: You can say that. He was m*rder.

SALEENA: Yes. Yes, he told me.

TONY: Who?

SALEENA: Brian. We connected through a passage on the other side.

GIBBS: Passage? That's what you call it?

SALEENA: You look skeptical. Oh, that's okay. You don't have to believe.

TONY: So did he tell you who did it?

SALEENA: It doesn't work that way, Agent DiNozzo. Can I get a green tea, please?

GIBBS: How does it work?

SALEENA: Well, I get impressions, feelings. I don't get specific details.

GIBBS: Do you have any feeling about his father including you in his will?

SALEENA: I didn't ask him.

GIBBS: I'm not a psychic, but considering he was a fighter pilot, I'd say he'd be pretty pissed off about it.

SALEENA: Your point, Agent Gibbs?

GIBBS: Where were you the weekend Lieutenant McAllister was m*rder?

SALEENA: Luray. Luray Caverns. I was hosting a spiritual retreat.

TONY: Luray? Hey boss, isn't that about fifteen miles from Black Lake?

GIBBS: Can you tell me what I'm thinking now, Miss Lockhart?

SALEENA: I don't have to be a psychic to tell that. Could we discuss this outside please? Your energy is disrupting my set. Thank you.

CUT TO:

EXT. SOUND STAGE - DAY

SALEENA: Look, I had nothing to do with Brian's disappearance. You should talk to his brother.

GIBBS: Yeah? Why is that?

SALEENA: Thomas was the black sheep, and he hated Brian. I may be many things, Agent Gibbs, but I am not a m*rder.

GIBBS: But you talk to d*ad people.

SALEENA: I have over a dozen people who can verify my whereabouts on that weekend. One of them is a senator.

TONY: We'll need their names.

SALEENA: My lawyer will get them to you. Now, is there something else I can do for you?

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS KNOCKS SALEENA TO THE GROUND)

(SFX: g*n)

GIBBS: You didn't see that one coming, did you?

TONY: Sonovabitch!

GIBBS: Did you get a license number?

TONY: Yeah, I got one.

GIBBS: That's a good job, Tony.

CUT TO:

INT. NCIS LAB - DAY

ABBY: It's definitely from a forty-five round, guys. Just give me a sec to line up the rifling patterns.

GIBBS: You run the plates?

ABBY: Came back stolen.

TONY: Figures.

ABBY: The markings are a match. It's from the same p*stol that k*lled Lieutenant McAllister two years ago.

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. NCIS HEADQUARTERS - DAY

TONY: Why don't we just drag McAllister in for questioning, Boss?

GIBBS: Because his lawyers make more in one hour than you make all week.

TONY: That's an excellent point. So you're saying I deserve a raise? Or not.

GIBBS: We need more than circumstantial evidence to take McAllister down.

TONY: I agree. But what do we get out of Kate going on a date with him?

GIBBS: I get to search his house for that Colt forty-five without him knowing.

TONY: And if it turns out he's our m*rder?

GIBBS: That's why you're going with her.

KATE: I'm meeting him at the airport in twenty minutes, Gibbs.

GIBBS: Hey, I need you to distract him for at least two hours so we can search his house.

KATE: Shouldn't be a problem. He already invited me to dinner. (LONG b*at) So, how do I look?

TONY: Eh.

KATE: What do you mean, eh?

TONY: I mean... yeah. You look fine. What's wrong with fine?

KATE: I'm going for hot here, Tony.

TONY: Well, in that case, do you mind?

MCGEE: Boss, I got the search warrant.

GIBBS: Yeah, you're with me. Get your things.

TONY: Yeah, now that...that is hot.

GIBBS: Are you two done playing dress-up?

KATE AND TONY: (IN UNISON) Done.

GIBBS: All right, get moving. I want a comm check in fifteen minutes.

KATE: On it.

GIBBS: Hey Kate, you looked better the other way.

CUT TO:

EXT. HANGAR - NIGHT

TONY: (V.O.) How do you read me, Kate? (V.O./FILTERED) Say again?

KATE: (V.O.) I said (ON CAMERA) loud and clear.

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Slide the mic... (ON CAMERA) closer to your throat, please.

KATE: How's that?

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Crystal.

CUT TO:

INT. HANGAR - NIGHT

(DOOR CLOSES)

KATE: Hello? Hello?

THOMAS: Kate. Whoa, do I feel underdressed.

KATE: Well - when you said dinner...?

THOMAS: Hey, I'm not complaining. You look fantastic.

KATE: Thank you. So where are we going?

THOMAS: Actually, I thought we might stay here. If you survive my cooking, there's a few things I'd like to tell you about my big brother.

CUT TO:

EXT. MCALLISTER HOME - NIGHT

MCGEE: Uh... Boss? Where are we going?

GIBBS: We're going around back, McGee.

(SFX: MCGEE RATTLES THE DOORKNOB)

MCGEE: It's locked, Boss.

GIBBS: Well, yeah, McGee. That's kind of the point of having doors.

MCGEE: The last two times I encountered a situation like this, Tony threw a rock through a window, Kate climbed in a second story window.

GIBBS: Huh. You don't say.

(DOOR OPENS)

GIBBS: Let's go.

CUT TO:

INT. HANGAR - NIGHT

THOMAS: I wasn't entirely truthful this afternoon, Kate. When you come from the type of family I did, you get used to keeping secrets.

KATE: What kind of secrets?

THOMAS: My parents were always a bit eccentric. When my mom died, my Dad pretty much lost it.

KATE: He started talking to d*ad people?

THOMAS: You've been checking up on me.

KATE: It's my job, Tom.

THOMAS: At first I thought it was harmless. But the psychic he was seeing, she started manipulating him, really cutting him off from the rest of the family.

KATE: Saleena Lockhart.

THOMAS: Really checking up on me.

KATE: What did your brother think of her?

THOMAS: He didn't. Brian was too busy with his Naval career. He wasn't around to see the damage she was doing.

KATE: Somebody tried to k*ll her today.

THOMAS: I thought about it myself more than once.

KATE: A lot of people think it was you.

THOMAS: What do you think, Kate?

KATE: Well I'm here, aren't I?

CUT TO:

INT. MCALLISTER HOME - NIGHT

(SFX: DOOR OPENS B.G.)

(DOOR OPENS QUICKLY)

GIBBS: NCIS!!

COOPER: Hey, do you mind?

GIBBS: Cooper, what are you doing here?

COOPER: Same thing you are.

GIBBS: I have a warrant.

COOPER: Are you going to arrest me?

GIBBS: It depends.

COOPER: On what?

GIBBS: What you found.

COOPER: I'm hoping a million dollars. I checked all the local counties. Thomas McAllister doesn't own any g*n. But his old man? Bit of a g*n nut. Even owns a Colt forty-five.

GIBBS: Recently fired.

(SFX: TELEPHONE BEEP TONES)

(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

(SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS)

TONY: (INTO PHONE) DiNozzo.

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Tony.

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Yeah, Boss.

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Take him down.

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) I'm on it.

CUT TO:

INT. HANGAR - NIGHT

THOMAS: I called Brian the weekend he went missing. I was trying to get him to come home, talk some sense into Dad. He said he'd think about it.

KATE: Why would you lie to us about it?

THOMAS: Because I thought that I was responsible for his death.

KATE: Were you?

THOMAS: When they found his car in Black Lake, I thought he finally decided to listen to me for once. The roads in Hastings are deathtraps in the daytime... at night, when you're tired?

KATE: You thought it was an accident?

THOMAS: Until you told me he was m*rder. Only one person stood to gain from his death, Saleena Lockhart.

KATE: Unfortunately, there is one more.

(SFX: THOMAS OPENS THE CONTRACT)

THOMAS: He never would have signed this.

TONY: Thomas McAllister. You're under arrest for the m*rder of your brother.

THOMAS: So I guess dessert is out of the question.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

GIBBS: Are you okay?

KATE: I'm fine.

GIBBS: You don't look fine.

ABBY: I hope I'm getting overtime for this, Gibbs, because I'm missing my cousin's birthday.

GIBBS: Were they a match?

ABBY: It's the same w*apon that k*lled the Lieutenant and sh*t up the makeup trailer today.

GIBBS: Thanks, Abs.

KATE: Figures. I finally meet a nice guy and he turns out to be a m*rder.

ABBY: Happens to Tony all the time. Hey, do me a favor, Kate.

KATE: What?

ABBY: My back is k*lling me. I'm waiting. And don't shortchange me this time.

KATE: You know, your muscles wouldn't be so tight if you stopped drinking all that caffeine crap that Gibbs is always bringing you.

ABBY: (V.O.) Oh, but I love the caffeine crap, Kate!

GIBBS: Abby, I need you out here! Now! How much time did you spend on this door?

ABBY: Um... enough to get the b*llet's trajectory. I was going to test for metal fatigue and age in the morning.

GIBBS: Do it tonight.

ABBY: Why? I mean, I'll have it for you in thirty minutes, Sir.

GIBBS: Kate will help.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

MCGEE: Well, it looks like you did it again, Mister Cooper.

COOPER: Oh, I'm getting old, kid. I think I'm going to retire after this one.

TONY: If you ask me, we should get fifty percent of that million.

COOPER: Too bad life ain't fair, DiNozzo. Oh, it's about time. In my day we didn't wait two hours to interrogate someone.

TONY: Let me guess, you just b*at it out of them?

COOPER: Yeah, something like that.

THOMAS: (V.O.) I'm sure you hear this a lot.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

THOMAS: I'm innocent, Agent Gibbs.

GIBBS: I know.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

COOPER: What the hell kind of interrogation is that?

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: You're free to go, Mister McAllister.

(DOOR OPENS)

(PASSAGE OF TIME)

COOPER: It's not enough I do your job for you, now you want to arrest me for it?

GIBBS: Ah, we do owe you for finding the Lieutenant for us, Cooper. The problem is, it isn't m*rder.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

COOPER: Give me a break, Gibbs.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

COOPER: You saw the evidence.

GIBBS: I did. Brian McAllister died in a car accident. The b*llet fired into his car wasn't from two years ago. (V.O.) The metal around the impact was only recently exposed to water. Two weeks (ON CAMERA) sound about right to you?

COOPER: What's this got to do with me?

GIBBS: The reward was offered for finding the Lieutenant's k*ller. In order to collect, you had to manufacture one.

COOPER: I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

GIBBS: It might have worked. We would have found that g*n eventually. But you just couldn't wait. What are you going to do with the money, Cooper? Hmm? Gambling debts? Retirement? Taking those sh*ts at Saleena Lockhart. That was overkill. Too bad we caught you putting it back.

COOPER: Yeah? Good luck proving it.

GIBBS: Oh, I will. This is an Instant sh**t I.D. Kit. It'll tell me if you fired a g*n recently.

COOPER: Swab away, Gibbs. There's no g*n residue on these hands.

GIBBS: Oh, a private dick like you... I'll bet you were wearing gloves. I figure any man who solves the unsolvable needs a trademark. And I'm betting yours is that tacky trench coat. You probably never take it off, huh?

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS PERFORMS THE TEST)

GIBBS: If this comes up blue, I've got you for attempted m*rder. Good luck trying to collect that million dollars. Get up.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

MCGEE: I don't believe it.

TONY: Sorry, Probie. I felt the same way when I found out professional wrestling was fake.

MCGEE: But he was going to frame an innocent man just for the reward?

TONY: It's all about the Benjamins.

MCGEE: Sometimes. Not always.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

THOMAS: You up for that dessert now?

KATE: At two thirty in the morning?

THOMAS: I think I might know a place that's still open.

KATE: And where would that be?(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

THOMAS: New York. Sometimes it's good to own your own airline.

TONY: New York? I love New York.

KATE: It's a small plane, Tony.

THOMAS: Maybe next time.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE SHUT)

CUT TO:

EXT. SKY - NIGHT

KATE: (V.O.) So you're Catholic, right?

(MUSIC OUT)

(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)

(MUSIC UP OVER ENDING CREDITS AND OUT)
{"type": "series", "show": "NCIS", "episode": "02x11 - Black Water"}