Torien: Previously, on his strict blues.

Ben: Wait a minute, this is Growing Pains!

Torien: Oh, excuse me, Ben, previously, on his growing pains.Thanks, Torien - Anyway, we just had these real crunch fish sticks.OK, there's this Dance at Dewey high, and everyone but me was going.Tonight, I boogie.Mum and dad got to the dance, but there weren't any other Chaperones, just some old janitor guy.

Old Guy: Nothing much ever happens a Dewey Dances, basically they're nerd festivals.

DJ: Thats right kids, its your mommie and your daddies worst nightmare!

Ben: Things got off to a slow start for the girls, and Mike, Andy, and Boner were bored stiff.

Boner: Yeah, I was out of fish sticks anyway.

Mike: You brought them with you?

Boner: Don't worry, I brought breath mints, too!

Ben: Then Mikes evening started to look just a little bit brighter, he says I'll understand when I'm older.Hah!I understand now!The girls weren't having much luck so Debbie decided to expand her bra size.

Debbie: Well, what'd you think?

Carol: Didn't your shoulders used to be a little higher?

Ben: Pretty soon, everyone was rocking out.Well, almost everyone.

Carol: How comes you're not dancing?

Boner: I am.

Carol: I mean with somebody.

Boner: Oh, I don't know.Why ain't you?

Ben: I guess I don't have to tell you, when Carol danced with Boner, all Hell broke loose.

Shirley: Why were you dancing with Boner

Girls: Eeew, Boner!

Boner: We were just dancing having a good time, I felt sorry for her!

Debbie: Carol, 'Be kind to animal week' is over, got it?

Mike: Well, knock it off man!It gives me the creeps, you got it?

Ben: While all this was going on, Mum and Dad were having problems of their own.

Jason: What's up?

DJ: Tweaked back, goes down on me all the time!

Maggie: Is there anything I can do to help?

DJ: Yeah, just keep the music going, lady - or I'm out of a gig!

Ben: That isn't half as bad as what Mike heard when he talked to his dream girl.

Mike: Hi, my name's Mike.

Lidiya: I know that, I'm Lidiya.

Ben: What no one else knew was that Stinky and I were sneaking out of his house to get to asecret place.This is the night you and I become men!Let's go!

Stinky: I tell you man, I saw something!

Ben: But I haven't got time to talk about that now, cause I've finally made it to Blackie's.So, what are you waiting for?Show me that smile!

Maggie: Yes, yes, yes, we all really starting to cook, and Wow.This is really burning me up.I've got to heat up.I've got to cool down.Let's move this party up-and-down now.

DJ: But I don't want to go to the hospital.I want my chiropractorCan you dig it?

A Man: Carol, do you want to dance?

Carol: Yeah, That'd be...I am not sure.

Boner: Good evening, ladies, per chance would any of you like to dance?

Boner: Perhaps another time.

Andy: Come on, Boner, get in the game man.

Boner: I'm just catching my breath.

Jason: Ok, I can take over now.

Maggie: Why?

Jason: Honey, I did have a radio show in college, remember?

Maggie: Of course I do.You stunk!

Jason: Come on, you used to say I was great.

Maggie: Well, Honey what did I know?I was 19.

Maggie: I feel good, I feel strong, I feel loose, I feel long and funky!

Jason: I stunk, huh?

Lidiya: (sing) She is a brick.She is a spirit.Just letting it all hang out.I've got to go to powder my nose...

Mike: Oh, great.I mean, yeah, good.Good idea...

Lidiya: Don't you go anywhere.You hear me?

Mike: Oh, yeah.

Andy: Oh, Mikey, you've got your hands full tonight.

Mike: Oh, yeah, you could say that.

Andy: Well, I do wish I had Lidiya whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Mike: Whispering?It couldn't hurt.

Debbie: Ok, so it wasn't one of my best ideas.

Shelley: The sad part is it was.

Carol: If we want the guy to dance with us, why we are hanging in the bathroom?

Lidiya: She is a Brick.

Shelley: That's the kind of cheap, trashy woman men go for these days!Can you believe it?

Debbie: Makes me gag.

Shelley: Yeah.Wonder where she shops?

Carol: Can we just go?

Debbie: Wait, you are not any fun.

Shelley: Debbie, that perfume you have one smells like fish.Where did you get that stuff?

Debbie: It was a birthday present from you.

Carol: Well, I am going home.

Shelley: Wait, it's not you.It's Carol.

Carol: What?

Debbie: Yeah, you smell like a fish stinks and breath-mints.

Carol: I do not I do.

Debbie: Carol, See what happened when you dance with Boner?You want to spend the rest of your life smelling like the catch of the day?

Ben: Made it, there it is, all right, two players, that's the machine the one we heard about.Theone that pays real money.

Old lady: Hi, Can I help you, boys?

Stinky: We want money.

Old lady: Pardon me?

Ben: We want a pie.Give us some of your best pie and a couple of cups of Joe.

Old lady: Coming right up.

Ben: You are supposed not to say that, gambling is illegal, especially for kids, where've you been?We were supposed to ask for Blackie.

Stinky: Would we like to see Blackie?

Old lady: Blackie is d*ad.

Ben: Just this is the best pie.

Stinky: I am not hungry.

Ben: Ok, I admit, we've run into a little problem here.

Stinky: Little problem, the man is d*ad.

Ben: Ok, forget Blackie.There's just got to be someone else to ask.

Stinky: Who?

Ben: Ok, Look on the bright side.Well, it is ten at night, we're on our own, there is not a chance in the world our parents are going to find out.

Old Man: She is a birck.So, men, you working a late shift?

Lidiya: Mike, it is a great song.

Mike: Quiet!

Lidiya: You snapped at me.

Mike: No, I am sorry.I just thought maybe we can go to someplace quiet where we wouldn't have to talk at all.

Lidiya: Not Talk?Oh.

Mike: Exactly.

Boner: Hi, Carol.

Carol: Boner, how are you?

Boner: See you.

Carol: Bye.

Maggie: This one is dedicated to all the girls out there who feel the same way about their guys as I feel about mine.

Ben: Um, Good pie.

Stinky: I don't ride girl's bike for watching the pie.

Ben: Hey, relax.

Stinky: Are we going to gamble or what?

Ben: Yes.

Stinky: How?

Ben: Ok, All we need to do is find out how this gambling thing works from someone who comeshere a lot.

Old Man: This week's pork chops weren't nearly as tangy as last week's.

Old Lady: Earl, those were last week's pork chops.

Ben: This guys probably been coming here since food was invented

Old Lady: Anything else or is that it, boys?

Ben: Oh, what if we each have another piece of pie?Watch, I'll get it out of this guy.Pie is pretty good.

Old Man: Yeah.How's the coffee tonight?

Ben: Well, I had better.

Old Man: When you were younger.

Ben: Yeah.Nice place.

Old Man: It's open.

Ben: Nice pinball machine.

Old Man: This going to be a long conversation, Son?

Stinky: What he wants to know is how to get play pinball for money.

Ben: I was getting to that.

Stinky: Not fast enough.

Old Man: So you are a couple of high rollers, huh?

Ben: We've got 8 bucks between us.

Old Man: 8 bucks?

Stinky: Yeah.

Old Man: Hi, Margie, These 2 gentlemen want to play a little pinball.House rules.

Old Lady: Is that right?

Stinky and Ben: How are the rules?

Old Lady: All right.

Stinky and Ben: Wow.

Old Lady: I just give you boys your change in quarters and you're on your own.

Ben: This is nine bucks.

Stinky: Nine?

Ben: Nine, we've only got!

Ben: Easy, you haven't gone through what we've gone through to get here.

Stinky: We sneaked out.

Ben: We walked miles.

Stinky: We took buses in circles.

Ben: Saw the dinosaurs.

Stinky: I Ride a girl's bike.

Ben: And this is the one night in my entire life that my parents are going to be out late tonight forme to sneak out.

Old Man: So, your parents don't know where you are?

Ben: Are you Kidding, they'd freak.They are off chaperoning some goofey dancing in the Dewey High.

Maggie: Thanks, honey.

Jason: Oh, anytime you want to me to jump in, just holler.

Maggie: Oh, I don't want you to jump in, I'm having fun.

Jason: Oh, just thought you might be getting a little tired.

Maggie: Tired?

Jason: Well, you've been spinning records all night.

Maggie: Oh, no no, no, I have plenty of energy left.

Jason: Ok.Kids seem to be getting a little bored.

Maggie: Jason?

Jason: It's not that you are not doing a great job, Maggie.

Jason: You just don't have the training.

Maggie: Thank you

Maggie: Jason, I am not going to listen to you.I am having fun.

Jason: Well, that's important too.

Maggie: Jason you are just try to undermine my confidence just because you want to play DJ.

Jason: It's just that a man, traditionally, is the best person for the job of DJ.

Maggie: The best person?

Jason: What I mean, Maggie, is that man knows how to be exciting, hahaha.

Maggie: Jason, it's too bad you are not married a guy.

Carol: Mom, I need to talk to you.

Jason: Here your mom is busy having fun.What is it?

Carol: No, dad, this is important.

Jason: Oh.

Maggie: Yes, Carol sweetie, what is it?

Carol: What's wrong?

Maggie: Oh, it's your father.

Carol: Aha.

Maggie: What's on your mind?

Carol: Ok mom, see I want to need your advice, Debbie and Shelley think.

Maggie: When we're doing something, we enjoy it.

Carol: That's my thought.

Maggie: It's nothing to do with being the best person.I was just having a little fun.

Carol: Me too.

Maggie: You shouldn't take care about what other people think.

Carol: You are darn right.

Carol, Maggie: Good.

Carol, Maggie: Thanks.

Maggie: Get away from there, Mr.Exciting.

Lidiya: Looking at all these stars...

Mike: Hush.

Lidiya: Hush( They kissed each other) Gee, that was special.

Mike: Oh, look, Lidiya, I think it's going to be a little too fast for me right now, ok?I mean, erm, Ireally don't want to do anything that we're both going to feel sorry for in the morning.I mean I think I'm just get a little swept away from here and we can both use some time to just think.

Lidiya: Think?

Mike: Yeah.

Lidiya: Oh you mean respect me?I understand.

Mike: Good, because I don't think I do.

Lidiya: Let me see if I can explain.

Mike: No no no...

Lidiya: Oh Oh, Mike, it was great dancing with you.

Mike: It was a wonderful dancing with you.

Lidiya: And it's a great talking to you too.

Mike: It was a wonderful dancing with you.You know I really had a great time tonight.

Lidiya: Me too.I'll call you some time, and we can talk.

Schoolboys: The teacher!

Jason: Oh, wait, I am not a teacher.But as a medical doctor, I'll tell you right now; smoking is a leading cause - ah, never mind.Boner, am I keeping you from something?

Boner: No, I just came in here because I figured there'd be no girls in the boys' bathroom.

Jason: Me too.

Boner: Can I ask you something man to man?

Jason: Well, we're in the right room is for it.

Boner: Maybe we should sit down.

Jason: No, no.Boner, what is it?

Boner: What would say if this guy, a pretty interesting guy, ok?He's dancing with this girl and having a good time.But his friends who shall remain nameless say it ain't cool.

Jason: His good friends?

Boner: Are you kidding, they're Mikey and Andy.

Jason: So we're talking about you, Boner.

Boner: Gave it away when I said interesting guy, didn't I?

Jason: Yeah.But you want to dance with this girl?

Boner: It's the only time I was having fun all night.

Jason: Well then forget about what Mike and Andy said, especially what Mike says.

Boner: Doctor Seaver.And don't worry; I wont even think of trying anything funny with Carol.

Jason: Ok, good boy, with Carol, wait, Boner, Wait.What have you done?

Ben: Mom?

Maggie: Wait a second Ben, I'm doing the sag way here.Ben, what are you doing here?

Ben: Mom, I could lie to you.

Maggie: But you won't.

Ben: My thought exactly.You see, I didn't stay at Stinky's, I went to this place to gamble formoney, but I blew my wad on pie.I feel sick about it.

Jason: Maggie, indeed here, don't worry, I can handle it.

Maggie: Jason, Ben is here.

Jason: Hi, Ben, you're just in time to listen to this.Hi, guys, you will Jason Seaver is here.What are you doing here Ben?You should have stayed with Stinky.

Maggie: That was a lie.He has been out eating pie and bl*wing his wad.

Jason: What did you do?

Ben: Mom, Dad, I am so ashamed.

Andy: So after the dance, you want to go and get some pizza with us?

Rita: Who is us?

Andy: You, me, Mike.

Rita: Sure.Oh...

Andy: Maybe we can order pizza another time, hum?

Carol: Andy, have you seen Boner?

Andy: Check the men's room.

Carol: I will, thanks.

Mike: Andy, I need a word.

Andy: Excuse me, I am bilingual myself.

Boner: Andy, you've seen Carol?

Andy: Men's room.

Boner: Thanks.

Andy: Mike, Rita is up for a midnight snack.

Mike: Oh, Andy, I'm not up for a midnight snack, I want to go home.

Andy: Well, well, you partied with Lidiya.You want to leave?

Mike: Yeah, now.

Andy: No, wait, you said something big was going to happen tonight.And it is for me too.Mike,guy, darn it, I'll just say it - I am in love.

Mike: Fine fine.I walk home then.

Andy: Oh, I get it.Lidiya is not buying.

Mike: No no.I am not buying.

Andy: Mike, what is wrong with her?

Andy: Her voice?

Mike: And actually she is not too bright.

Andy: Oh, beautiful chick who is really dumb.

Mike: This just is a nightmare.All right, may looks are everything, maybe I got too high standards or something.I don't know.And I don't like it, but I'll I'm saying Andy is I look at the way you feel about Rita.Man and I envy you.

Andy: So would you mind if I took a sh*t with Lidiya?

Mike: Lidiya?I thought you loved Rita.

Andy: So did I.Mike, do me a favor.Let Rita down easy for me, hum?She's a good kid, and I don't know anybody with more experience disappointing women than you.

Mike: Andy?

Ben: And then that Janitor guy dropped Stinky off and brought me here.

Maggie: That's quite a story, Ben.

Jason: Well you sit down right over there, young man, and don't you move until your mother and I discuss the most appropriate and painful punishment?

Ben: Not suffered enough?

Boner: Carol?She wasn't there.

Carol: Oh, Boner, I've been looking for you.

Boner: So have I.

Carol: Look, Boner, I've known you, well, since I don't remember not knowing you.

Boner: Carol, I just want to...

Carol: You've always been the strangest person in my life.

Boner: Well, you do?

Carol: And when we were dancing before, I was really having fun for the first time this whole miserable evening.

Boner: Me too.

Boner: Exactly.

Carol: And even all my friends are saying I am crazy, I don't care.

Boner: Neither do I.

Carol: So what if you are a little strange?

Boner: Yeah.

Boner: What do you call anything fun?

Carol: Boner!

Boner: I am sorry.

Carol: Oh, you want to dance or what?

Boner: I thought I never ask.

Ben: Alright, it's Big Ben, bringing you his happy message.Move to the groove when you've got nothing to lose.

Jason: Well, I guess we know where he gets it.

Maggie: From me.

Jason: From me.

Rita: Wow, we finally get a decent DJ.

Mike: Oh, Rita, look, Andy had something come up.

Rita: Really?

Mike: Yeah, he had to leave.

Mike: Really?

Rita: Mike Seaver, I've had a crush on you since the fifth Grade.

Mike: Really?

Rita: So, can I dance with you or just sit there saying "really"?And looking adorable.

Debbie: Well, we did all we could to help Carol.

Shelley: It's her funeral.

Debbie: Shelley, we are the only girls not dancing.

Shelley: You want to dance?

Debbie: Absolutely.

Mike: Keep your eyes on this guy every second.

Andy: Mike, she's worse than you said.

Mike: Thanks Man!
{"type": "series", "show": "Growing Pains", "episode": "03x20 - Dance Fever: Part 2"}