THE TWIN DILEMMA

BY: ANTHONY STEVEN

Part Four

Original Air Date: 30 March 1984
Running time: 25:04

NOMA: Why don’t you k*ll her?

MESTOR: I find her pleasing. Pleasing!

NOMA: She's better d*ad.

MESTOR: This creature offers no thr*at.

PERI: That's right!

NOMA: Be silent.

MESTOR: But her companion... they should have found him by now. I sense danger.

DRAK: Be at peace, Doctor.

DOCTOR: How? The very core of my being is on f*re with guilt and rage... how is he?

AZMAEL: Superficial damage, he'll be all right.

NOMA: He is the one.

AZMAEL: But Noma, he is a friend, he will save us from Lord Mestor.

NOMA: Lord Mestor is our friend. He is our enemy.

MESTOR: They have him! Yes, earthling. They have your friend.

PERI: He came here to help!

MESTOR: He did, hmph.

DOCTOR: Peri you're alive.

PERI: Oh please release him.

MESTOR: And have the fool wreck a scientific project of vast consqeuence?

DOCTOR: It's debatable who the fool is. If you intend to blow up this corner of the universe!

MESTOR: Are you challenging my calculations?

DOCTOR: Not at all. In fact if I can hold my mind together I might even be able to help you.

MESTOR: What can you offer me?

DOCTOR: Moving planets around is not for amateurs, you know. I mean the twins may have the mathematical skill but I have the empirical knowledge. The practical experience that can guarantee success. I mean one tiny error in your calculations, the planets you're trying to shift could fly off in any direction.

MESTOR: You're telling the truth, Time Lord?

DOCTOR: You should know. I can sense your presence in my mind.

MESTOR: Then why do you resist me?

DOCTOR: I'm secretive by nature. Besides, if you were to learn everything too quickly you'd have no reason to keep me alive.

CHAMBERLAIN: He's playing with us Master. Azmael has often spoken of this Time Lord. He's not to be trusted.

MESTOR: Never argue with me again!

CHAMBERLAIN No Master!

DOCTOR: Good heavens. You are rather hot-tempered!

REMUS: We'd work much more effectively if we had them.

AZMAEL: What?

ROMULUS Our memories.

REMUS: It's very disconcerting to have a large void in the middle of one's mind.

DRAK: You have little to lose.

ROMULUS: And our full cooperation to gain.

AZMAEL: Give me your right hand. Now yours. Well. Do you remember?

ROMULUS: Yes. Everything!

AZMAEL: Good.

LT HUGO LANG: Which is more than I do.

AZMAEL: Back to work. You took a heavy blow. Doctor!

PERI: Oh Hugo, are you all right?

DOCTOR: I've agreed to help you.

LT HUGO LANG: Help!

DOCTOR: With this ridiculous scheme of Mestor's.

REMUS: We can't work like this.

ROMULUS: There are too many interruptions.

NOMA: You'll do exactly as you are told.

TWINS Then we won't do our best.

DOCTOR: And how do you think the Lord Mestor would feel about that?

PERI: He might show us that great little trick again. You know, the one with the green ray.

DOCTOR: Embolism, isn't it? Let me tell you, little tiny bubbles go very well in champagne and purgatives, Noma, but not in the blood.

NOMA: Wait outside.

AZMAEL: You too, Noma.

TWINS: Especially you.

DOCTOR: You don't seem very popular. Have you got fowlpest?

NOMA: You'll suffer for this humiliation. All of you.

DRAK: Childish thr*at are best left to children, Noma.

AZMAEL: Now go away we have a lot of work to do.

MESTOR: What do you know of this Doctor?

CHAMBERLAIN: Only what Azmael has said. He's supposedly a man of great cunning.

MESTOR: He's also egocentric, willful and quite mad. Once my work is completed I shall take great delight in examining this Doctor more closely. You will find the Time Lord's TARDIS.

CHAMBERLAIN: Yes Master.

DOCTOR: How does Mestor plan to bring the other two planets into the same orbit as Jaconda?

AZMAEL: A tractor beam.

LT HUGO LANG: Does he have enough power for such a thing?

AZMAEL: Oh yes.

DOCTOR: Well how will he s*ab Jaconda? Three planets in the same orbit will exert enormous gravitational pressure on each other.

AZMAEL: By placing them in different time zones. See each planet will occupy the same space but will be one Jacondan day ahead of the other.

DOCTOR: Very neat.

PERI: You mean Mestor can travel in time?

AZMAEL: Thanks to me.

MESTOR: Heheheheheh.

PERI: Doctor? Doctor?

DOCTOR: What?

PERI: Are you all right?

DOCTOR: Of course I'm all right. I'm certainly all right, it's the situation that's all wrong.

AZMAEL: In what way is it wrong?

DOCTOR: Both the outer planets are smaller than Jaconda.

PERI: That's obvious.

DOCTOR: So is the consequence if they're brought any nearer the Jacondan sun.

AZMAEL: But you're right. Why didn't I realise?

DOCTOR: Your mind was another thing's, my friend.

AZMAEL: Yes but to overlook something so simple.

PERI: What are you two talking about?

DOCTOR: A matter of simple physics. The gravitational pull of the sun on Jaconda is more or less consistent, yes?

PERI: I'll take your word for it.

DOCTOR: The outer planets are smaller, place them where Jaconda is... how long do you think they'll last?

AZMAEL: No time at all, their orbit would rapidly decay and they'd crash into the sun.

REMUS: Causing an enormous expl*si*n.

ROMULUS: It'll be wondrous to see.

AZMAEL: Now be quiet and get on with your work.

LT HUGO LANG: Does Mestor know this could happen?

DOCTOR: Of course.

PERI So why do it?

DOCTOR: I don't know. But there's method to his madness, of that I'm certain. In the meantime, carry on with your calculations. We don't want to arouse Mestor's suspicions.

(At the TARDIS.)

CHAMBERLAIN: Master?

MESTOR: Enter.

CHAMBERLAIN: Well, after you, gentlemen.

(Back to the Doctor.)

TWINS: We've finished.

AZMAEL: Well done.

PERI: Now what?

LT HUGO LANG: You can't give those calculations to Mestor.

AZMAEL: Doctor?

PERI: Doctor?

AZMAEL: He worries me.

PERI: He's not himself.

DOCTOR: Then who am I?

PERI: I wish you wouldn’t keep wandering off like that.

DOCTOR: See it more as a mental stroll in a park of psychic tranquility.

AZMAEL: But what do we do next, the twins have finished their calculations.

DOCTOR: Who? Oh, oh very good. Excellent. Ten out of ten. Alpha plus.

DOCTOR: Interesting. Gastropod eggs.

PERI: Doctor, we're wasting time.

DOCTOR: Is it possible to get into the hatchery?

PERI: Whatever for?

DOCTOR: I sense the answer is in there. Azmael?

AZMAEL: Well, look, but please be quick.

DOCTOR: Of course. Eggsellent. The answer must be in here somewhere. Mestor hasn’t gone to all this trouble... the egg of a slug. But where's the mucous? The jelly, the food that feeds the young within?

PERI: Does it matter?

DOCTOR: Of course, these eggs are dry and rubbery. Let's see what's inside. A laser cutter, I must have a laser cutter.

AZMAEL: I'll get one for you.

LT HUGO LANG: What is it that's worrying you, Doctor?

DOCTOR: I don't know. But something is wrong.

(He tries to cut it open.)

LT HUGO LANG: What were you trying to do, hard boil it?

DOCTOR: It should at least have scratched the surface.

PERI: Well if it's that tough, how will the young break out?

DOCTOR: How indeed?

LT HUGO LANG: It's reacted to the heat of the laser.

DOCTOR: Precisely what it's supposed to do. Only it isn't anything like hot enough yet.

PERI: Doctor, you're talking in riddles!

AZMAEL: No! No, he isn't and I fear he might be right.

DOCTOR: Are these all the eggs?

AZMAEL: No, there are more through there.

DOCTOR: So many. Ah, it all begins to make sense.

PERI: Not to me. You still haven't explained why the eggs are so tough.

DOCTOR: They were designed to withstand the temperatures of an exploding sun.

LT HUGO LANG: Nonsense!

AZMAEL I wish it were.

DOCTOR: Mestor's colonization is not of this planet, but the universe.

AZMAEL: The exploding Jacondan sun would scatter the eggs, and nowhere would be safe from invasion.

REMUS: We've made that possible.

ROMULUS Our genius has been abused.

LT HUGO LANG: Doctor, could such a scheme work?

DOCTOR: It's so simple it's mind-boggling. Of course it could work.

MESTOR: Now you know everything, Time Lord.

DOCTOR: Right, what we need is a plan of action. Now you've still got your g*n, take Peri and the twins back to the safety of the TARDIS.

LT HUGO LANG: Noma and the guards might still be outside.

DOCTOR: Then deal with them. You are supposed to be an interplanetary pursuit officer.

AZMAEL: What shall we do?

DOCTOR Deal with Mestor.

AZMAEL: Are we capable, I mean look at us, Doctor. I'm old, I've even used up my ability to regenerate. And you, well your mind could cloud at any moment.

DOCTOR: I am fully alert and ready for action.

AZMAEL: Mestor will destroy us, you know.

DOCTOR: Better we die in harness back there against the odds than die in fear, finding menace in our own shadows.

REMUS: What do we do about our calculations?

DOCTOR: Can you carry them in your head?

ROMULUS: Of course.

DOCTOR: Then destroy all the notes you've made.

ROMULUS: That's simple.

(They fiddle.)

REMUS: It's done.

DOCTOR: Good. Drak, you go back to the TARDIS with the others.

AZMAEL: Drak? He's d*ad. His mind has been burnt out.

DOCTOR: Mestor!

AZMAEL: He's used him as a monitor. He must know everything that's been said in this room.

DOCTOR: There's no time to waste. Check the corridor.

LT HUGO LANG: It's clear.

DOCTOR: Now back to the TARDIS. Be careful. Good luck.

LT HUGO LANG: Thanks. Follow me.

PERI Good luck, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Such a nice girl. Hope I see her again.

AZMAEL: I'm sure you will, my friend. This way.

DOCTOR: Ah.

MESTOR: Noma!

NOMA: Yes Master.

MESTOR: Find the twins and bring them to me.

NOMA: Yes Master.

MESTOR: They must not be harmed.

NOMA: And the others?

MESTOR: k*ll them.

PERI: This is ridiculous. How can we have got lost, there's only one passageway.

LT HUGO LANG: Well apparently not.

PERI Okay, well, let's try along here.

DOCTOR: Ah, there you are. I've been looking for you. I've worked out what you're up to, and it's got to stop.

MESTOR: Control your arrogance, Time Lord.

DOCTOR: I'm not having your sluggy eggs spread all over the universe causing havoc. Nor will I allow you to destroy what was once a very beautiful planet.

MESTOR: You really are mad. You dare to thr*at me in my own throne room?

DOCTOR: Did I thr*at him? Did you hear me thr*at him?

MESTOR: Be silent!

DOCTOR: Watch it, Mestor!

AZMAEL: Please, Doctor.

MESTOR: You do well to warn him.

DOCTOR: I'm the one who's doing the warning. Now will you give up this nonsense?

MESTOR: No, Time Lord!

DOCTOR: Then take the consequence!

(He throws the bottle.)

MESTOR: You think that I would be so vulnerable? You're an interfering fool.

DOCTOR: No. Just a rotten sh*t.

LT HUGO LANG This looks more like it.

PERI: You said that about the last passage that we were in.

NOMA: This time he's right. You almost made it. What a pity.

LT HUGO LANG: Leave them to me.

ROMULUS No!

REMUS: They want us alive. Mestor needs our calculations.

NOMA: Don't push your luck.

LT HUGO LANG: Down!

(A brief g*n battle ensues.)

NOMA: k*ll him!

LT HUGO LANG: You might just reach that g*n before I can k*ll you, but I doubt it.

DOCTOR: Indigestion? Or is it bad news?

MESTOR It does not concern you.

DOCTOR: Perhaps your plan to recapture the twins has failed.

MESTOR: A small setback, Time Lord.

DOCTOR: Be careful of Lieutenant Lang. He's been dying to k*ll someone ever since he got here. After all you did destroy his entire squadron. Earthlings have an unquenchable thirst when it comes to revenge.

MESTOR: Be silent!

AZMAEL: The Doctor has been ill, it's affected his reasoning.

MESTOR: He tried to k*ll me, he must therefore forfeit his own existence.

DOCTOR: Oh I thought we'd come to that. Embolism time, is it? Don't tell me. My blood will bubble like a raging stream. I will beg to die. And in so doing I will crave your indulgence and forgiveness.

MESTOR: Not quite, Time Lord.

DOCTOR: Good. Because in my time I have been thr*at by experts. I don't rate you very highly at all.

AZMAEL: Doctor.

MESTOR: I have said you will cease to exist. But you will not die.

AZMAEL: Please, Lord Mestor.

MESTOR: I tire of the disadvantages of my own being.

DOCTOR: I don't blame you.

MESTOR: So I intend to take over your mind as well as your body.

DOCTOR: You! Take over my mind! Hahahah. It will be like throwing a pebble into a lake. It will sink without trace.

AZMAEL: But he can do it!

DOCTOR: A Jacondan mind, maybe, but I am a Time Lord!

MESTOR: Perhaps you would like be to demonstrate?

DOCTOR: Indeed.

DOCTOR: Azmael?

MESTOR: Azmael is now my sl*ve.

DOCTOR: That's not fair. He's an old man.

MESTOR: Do you think I could not do this to you?

DOCTOR: Well, why don't you try?

MESTOR: Simplicity itself. All I need is...

AZMAEL: He's weakening. He's trying to control too much. All Jaconda is affected by his thoughts. Help me, Doctor. I cannot contain him for long.

DOCTOR: We must mind-link. Together we can destroy him.

AZMAEL: No, no, otherwise he will pass to you and you will be lost.

DOCTOR: I can contain him!

AZMAEL: No, quickly! You must destroy his body otherwise he will return to it.

(The Doctor throws another bottle.)

MESTOR: Too late, Time Lord. Now we must mind-link.

AZMAEL: No!

MESTOR: What is happening?

AZMAEL: You are lost, Mestor.

MESTOR: What are you doing?

AZMAEL: The one thing that you cannot control. I am dying. I am regenerating.

DOCTOR: You can't! You've used up your allotted number of lives.

AZMAEL: Don't you think I do not know that, Doctor? He is exorcised, my friend.

NOMA: AAAAAAAAA! AAAA!

PERI: What's happening? What's going on?

NOMA: Mestor is d*ad!

DOCTOR: You fool, why did you do it?

AZMAEL: I had no other choice.

DOCTOR: You should have left him to me.

AZMAEL: My friend, you were too unstable. He would have swamped you. You would have been the pebble drowning in his lake.

DOCTOR: To throw away your own life.

AMZAEL: It was nearly at an end anyway.

DOCTOR: You had so much to give! You were the finest teacher I ever had.

AZMAEL: You've learned all I know, and much besides. My only regret is leaving Jaconda. It gave me a good life. Many great moments. One of the best, my friend, was that time by the fountain.

DOCTOR: Azmael. Azmael. I shall miss you, old friend. I shall indeed.

PERI: I don't want to worry you, but the TARDIS door's open.

LT HUGO LANG: You stay here.

PERI: No, I've gotta find the Doctor.

LT HUGO LANG: All right, but be careful.

PERI: Look after him will you?

TWINS: Yes. Good luck.

LT HUGO LANG: Outside.

CHAMBERLAIN: Listen, young Sir, this planet's finished. There's no future here.

LT HUGO LANG: Shut up.

CHAMBERLAIN: But you don't understand, here we have a fine craft to take us away from here. Far away.

LT HUGO LANG: I said shut up!

DOCTOR: Sorry 'bout that.

PERI: Don't ever do that again.

DOCTOR: 'Course not.

PERI: Are you all right?

DOCTOR: Do I look otherwise?

CHAMBERLAIN: But we must get away from here.

ROMULUS: He can't fly the TARDIS.

REMUS: But we could learn.

DOCTOR: I'll take you all.

CHAMBERLAIN: You're a true gentleman, Sir.

DOCTOR: Wait a minute, I remember you. You're the Chamberlain!

CHAMBERLAIN: Yes, that's right, Sir.

DOCTOR I don't like you.

CHAMBERLAIN: Oh. But sir, I must get away from here!

DOCTOR: Then I suggest you start walking. Right, let's get you and the twins back to earth.

PERI: What about the rest of the people on this planet?

DOCTOR: They'll survive.

LT HUGO LANG Who'll lead them?

DOCTOR: Well certainly not that thing. Neither will Azmael. He's d*ad.

PERI: Then you must help, Doctor.

DOCTOR: They're quite capable of looking after themselves. Listen. They've already started mopping up.

LT HUGO LANG: I'd rather stay. I feel I could be some use here.

DOCTOR: As you wish. Although I think you're mad.

LT HUGO LANG: I have nothing to go back to earth for, I've no one there.

DOCTOR: That I can believe.

PERI: I'm sorry about that. He never used to be so rude.

TWINS: Can we stay?

PERI No. Into the TARDIS.

LT HUGO LANG: It was uh, it was nice to have met you, however strange the circumstances.

PERI: Good luck.

LT HUGO LANG: Thanks. I think we'll need it.

CHAMBERLAIN: Please take me. They'll k*ll me if I stay here!

LT HUGO LANG: No they won't. Goodbye.

PERI: Bye.

LT HUGO LANG: Oi! Move. Go on.

PERI: Did you have to be so rude!

DOCTOR: To whom?

PERI: Hugo. You could have at least have said goodbye!

DOCTOR: Hm. Oh.

PERI: Are you having another of your fits?

DOCTOR: You may not believe this, but I have fully s*ab.

PERI: Then I suggest you take a crash course in manners.

DOCTOR: You seem to forget, Peri, I am not only from another culture but another planet. I am in your terms an alien. I am therefore bound to have different values and customs.

PERI: Your former self was polite enough.

DOCTOR: But at such a cost, I was on the verge of becoming neurotic!

PERI: We all have to repress our feelings from time to time. I suggest you get back into the habit.

DOCTOR: And I would suggest, Peri, that you wait a little before criticising my new persona. You may well find it isn't quite as disagreeable as you think.

PERI: Well I hope so.

DOCTOR: Whatever else happens, I am the Doctor. Whether you like it or not.
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who", "episode": "21x24 - The Twin Dilemma - part 4"}