Original Air Date on March 30th, 2006

Doctor #1: There's the hut.

Doctor #2: Let's hope word of the evac order made it out this far. Let's go.

Doctor #1: Good God.

Doctor #2: Son of a bitch. All right, let's get blood samples. Ten cc's each.

Doctor #1: Right.

Doctor #1: Hey, this is a quarantined hot zone. Get out! Now! Did you hear me? You're exposing yourself to a deadly virus.

Lana: Clark, you're amazing. Okay, so you're not gonna win any dance contests but you're definitely not the worst.

Clark: Lana, I almost started a 10-person pileup doing the two-step. We should skip the dancing before someone gets hurt.

Lana: Well, maybe we should try something else more often.

Clark: Like what?

Lana: Well, I'll give you a hint. Chloe happens to be pulling an all nighter at the Daíly Planet.

Clark: So you have the dorm room all to yourself.

Lana: All to ourselves.

Clark: That sounds great, it really does. But I have to get back to the farm. It's gonna rain tomorrow and I have to put up some tarps.

Lana: Clark, whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting. As long as it takes. No pressure.

Clark: Lana.

Lana: I gotta go, it's getting late. But I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Clark: Okay.

Lana: Okay.

Simone: I thought she'd never leave. Hi, I'm Simone.

Clark: I was just leaving.

Simone: What's the hurry? You're not going anywhere until I tell you to.

Clark: Okay.

Simone: You're gonna believe everything I tell you and you're gonna do everything I say. Starting now.

Clark: What do you have in mind?

Lois: Smallville? What the hell are you doing?

Clark: Lois, I'd like you to meet Simone my new girlfriend.

Lana: I got your text message.

Lex: Lana, I apologize for interrupting your Saturday night but I thought you'd be interested.

Lana: It's okay. I was just on my way back to Metropolis. What's going on?

Lex: My father taught me never to reveal my hand but I consider you my partner. If it wasn't for you, I would have never known the spacecraft existed.

Lana: Have you found the ship?

Lex: No. But I have managed to track down Milton Fine.

Lana: What does he got to do with this?

Lex: He was seen several times around the warehouse where I stored the spacecraft. And he happened to disappear from Smallville the same exact day the ship vanished. Something tells me it's not a coincidence.

Lana: So either you're planning an exotic vacation or this professor is somewhere in Central America?

Lex: He was last seen in Honduras. My jet leaves in an hour.

Lana: Lex, let me come with you, maybe I can help.

Lex: Lana, I appreciate your passion but I have no idea what I'm walking into. I can't risk putting you in danger. I promise, when I get back, I'll tell you everything.

Clark: Here you go.

Simone: Apple pie. Well, what else?

Clark: My mom just made it.

Simone: Of course she did. That's delicious. All I need now is a glass of champagne. But I don't suppose you have that hidden behind the marmalade. Clark? Clark? What did you ... ? Where did you get that?

Clark: Hal's Liquor Store in Metropolis.

Simone: What? Metropolis? How?

Clark: I can run really fast.

Simone: So If I were to say, ''Clark I want some chocolate-covered strawberries.''

Clark: Here you go.

Simone: You are too good to be true.

Clark: Yeah.

Simone: I think it's time you told your girlfriend about us. Call her and ask her to come over.

Chloe: Okay, I am the first person to concede that anything is possible in this universe but Clark Kent lip-locked with another girl?

Lois: Chloe, I'm telling you, it was the last tango at the Talon. Unfortunately, I had front row seats.

Chloe: Well, something must have happened to him because he wouldn't just do this.

Lois: I know you have this whole hero-worship thing with the guy but face it, Clark is no different than any other red-blooded male. His brain, it's not his commanding officer.

Chloe: No, you don't know him like I do. He is different. He wouldn't do this to Lana.

Lois: He already has. If Lana's our friend, we need to warn ...

Chloe: No, hold your f*re. Now, before you utter one word to Lana about this, I just wan ...

Lana: One word about what? What's going on?

Chloe: Lois needs a place to stay. She needs to stay at our dorm room for a couple of nights.

Lois: Right, the heater's on the fritz.

Chloe: I just wanted to make sure I brought it up to you before she said anything.

Lana: Okay. Lois, you are always welcome here.

Chloe: Great.

Lois: Great.

Lana: I thought you were pulling an all nighter.

Chloe: Well, as much as I enjoy a good dose of sleep deprivation my deadline was pushed.

Lana: Nice. Hello. Hi. Oh, is everything all right? Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can.

Chloe: Who was that?

Lana: That was Clark. He said he needs to talk to me. Seems really urgent. I'll see you guys later.

Simone: So, lightning legs got any other special skills?

Clark: Well, I ...

Simone: I wanna know everything you're capable of.

Clark: An S for Simone.

Simone: Ever since I was little, I dreamed about my knight in shining armor. And now that dream has actually come true. Take off your shirt.

Clark: Your turn.

Simone: Now, take off the rest of your clothes.

Clark: Simone, with my powers l could hurt you.

Simone: That's a chance I'm willing to take. Make love to me, Clark.

Lana: Oh, God. Oh, God.

Simone: You don't care about her anymore, Clark. Go tell her that it's over.

Clark: Lana, wait.

Lana: This is why you couldn't spend the night with me?

Clark: Lana, I've fallen in love with someone else.

Simone: Mr. Luthor?

Lex: Welcome, Símone. Don't you look delectable thís eveníng.

Simone: Do I ever get to meet the billionaire boy wonder face to face?

Lex: Well, as much as I'd like to admire you up close and personal I prefer to hold on to my free will. How ís your progress?

Simone: Let's )ust say Lana Lang won't be sendíng Clark any more Valentíne's Day cards.

Lex: And what about Clark? Have you discovered anything unusual about him?

Simone: Absolutely.

Lex: What is it?

Simone: Clark Kent ís the most extraordínary ... kísser.

Lex: There must be more.

Simone: If he had some secret, don't you thínk I would know? With Clark Kent, what you see is what you get. A corn-fed farm boy. I've done everythíng you've asked me to. Now you can get the hell out of my life and leave me alone.

Lex: Patience, Simone. There's someone else I'd like you to meet-in Honduras.

Simone: No way. This was a one-time deal. Remember?

Lex: Do you remember that I just unearthed evidence that could put you in prison for the rest of your life? Now, I think the least you could do is one more little favor for me. I'll be back tomorrow night. We'll talk then.

Assistant: Sir, I have Roberts on the secure line. Turns out Milton Fine isn't who we think he is.

Chloe: Oh, thank God you're fully clothed. I was afraid I'd be walking in on some sort of dangerous liaison.

Clark: I take it you talked to Lana.

Chloe: I could barely hear her through the sobs, but yeah. She called to tell me that she was spending the night at Aunt Nell's. So where's the hottie?

Clark: If you're talking about Simone, she's in the house.

Chloe: I don't get it. I mean, if it was Red K, you wouldn't be doing chores. If it was Silver K, you'd be afraid that that pitchfork was gonna turn you into a shish kebab. What happened to you, Clark?

Clark: I fell in love.

Chloe: I don't think you fell. I think you were pushed ... off a cliff.

Clark: Chloe, just because you know my secret, doesn't mean you know how I feel.

Chloe: Yeah, but I do know that you'd never intentionally hurt Lana like this.

Clark: You said my relationship with Lana would never go anywhere as long as I have to lie about who I am. And you were right.

Chloe: So how are things gonna be any different with Simone?

Clark: I told Simone about my powers.

Chloe: Wait a minute, Clark. You may think you're madly in love with this girl but you need to stay away.

Clark: You don't even know her.

Chloe: No, but I know you well enough to know when you're being manipulated.

Clark: You're crossing a line here. I've always trusted you. So how about this time, you trust me? Let me live my life. Back off.

Simone: Clark, is that you?

Chloe: Hi, you must be Simone. I'm ... I'm Chloe. I'm Clark's friend. It's really great to finally meet you.

Simone: Hello.

Chloe: I'm so glad that Clark hooked up with you. I mean, he was just miserable with Lana and now, I honestly have never seen him more happy. You two are really perfect for each other.

Simone: That's nice to hear. Do you know where he is?

Chloe: Yeah, he's in the barn.

Simone: Clark, I need you. Clark?

Milton Fine: I would have had tea and petits fours waiting, but I didn't expect you so soon.

Lex: You knew I was coming.

Milton Fine: You leave a trail of breadcrumbs, no surprise when the crow comes calling.

Lex: I think a simple phone call would have sufficed.

Milton Fine: I couldn't reveal the truth about myseIf until I was sure you were dedicated to your cause.

Lex: Well, I hate to disappoint you but I already know what you are. And it's not a professor of history, is it? No, it's something much more exciting. Tell me, what's the benefits package of a government operative working for a covert branch of the State Department?

Milton Fine: Very good. You found that breadcrumb on your own.

Lex: I want to know what you were doing posing as a college professor in a Kansas farm town.

Milton Fine: I was investigating the possibility of an extraterrestrial presence.

Lex: This investigation did it bear any fruit?

Milton Fine: Well, we believe a spacecraft of unknown origin touched down during the recent meteor shower. But an individual with quick reflexes and vast resources was able to get to it before we could.

Lex: So that's why you were investigating LuthorCorp.

Milton Fine: Yeah. And I admire the remarkable advances you've made in the name of science. Too bad you couldn't get into that ship when you had a chance.

Lex: You know where it is.

Milton Fine: The ancient Mayans believed they were visited by great beings from the heavens.

Lex: You think the ship's in Honduras.

Milton Fine: Well, I'm certainly not here for the coffee.

Chloe: So I think Clark's bizarre behavior might be some form of supercharged hypnosis.

Lois: I've heard of hypnotism being used to stop smoking or lose weight but to reduce Clark to some goo-goo-eyed love sl*ve?

Chloe: This isn't over-the-counter hypnosis, it's prescription strength. And it never wears off. Check this out. Simone's dad was world-renowned for curing his patients of all inflictions everything from cravings to cancer.

Lois: Maybe I can talk to him about my nail-biting.

Chloe: l'm afraid it's a little late for that. Last month he died during a botched burglary.

Lois: Wait a second, I've seen that jewel.

Chloe: So have I, around Simone's scrawny little neck. It's an ancient family heirloom that dates back to the alchemists in medieval England. It was also the only thing stolen.

Lois: Are you saying Simone's responsible for her own father's death?

Chloe: I don't know. If it meant getting daddy's hyper-hypno powers, maybe.

Lois: I just think it's a tad bit cocky to be wearing it around your neck like a medal.

Chloe: Not if you can make any cop believe that you're innocent.

Lois: What I don't understand is, of all people, why go after Clark?

Chloe: I don't know. We need to snap him out of it soon before he does something he can't ever come back from.

Lois: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's move.

Chloe: Yeah, you know, I ... I just need to grab something. I'll meet you there.

Lois: Okay.

Milton Fine: His father carved it. After claiming to have seen a carroza de los díoses land from the sky.

Lex: Chariot of the gods.

Milton Fine: Yeah.

Lex: I wanna talk to him.

Milton Fine: I know you can do many things but I'm not sure you can communicate with the d*ad. Days after the sighting, his wife came home to find his charred remains.

Lex: Despite urban myths human beings don't spontaneously combust.

Milton Fine: No. We believe whoever or whatever was in that spaceship incinerated the man. In fact, we suspect this alien race poses a grave thr*at to the entire planet.

Lex: Well, how do you defend against a thr*at of that magnitude?

Milton Fine: It presents a great challenge. We are working on a potential w*apon a w*apon that would greatly benefit from LuthorCorp's assistance. We're well aware of your tireless quest for extraterrestrial life. Your tenacity is impressive.

Lex: I'll help in any way I can but I want unrestricted access to all your data.

Milton Fine: That's a bold request.

Lex: Well, without it, this discussion is over.

Milton Fine: I'm not sure you understand me, Mr. Luthor. If we don't work together, there may not be a LuthorCorp or a government left. Think about that on your flight home.

Lois: Where you off to, Romeo? A motel with vibrating beds?

Clark: Simone and I are going to California. That way I can get away from your commentary.

Lois: My running commentary says you're hypnotized. You need to drop your suitcase because you're not going.

Clark: I'm asking you nicely, step aside.

Lois: Look, I didn't wanna have to do this but If necessary, I'm gonna have to take you down.

Simone: I see we have a visitor.

Lois: I suggest you turn your boy toy back to normal before I reach over and rip out those pearly white teeth.

Simone: Clark, be a love and knock her out.

Lois: Yeah, right.

Martha: Oh, my God. What happened?

Simone: Mrs. Kent, I want you to do whatever it takes to stop her from following us.

Martha: Where are you off to?

Clark: We're leaving Smallville forever.

Simone: And you couldn't be more thrilled. You won't miss Clark one bit.

Martha: Well then, you two have a wonderful time.

Clark: Thanks, Mom.

Simone: We better go.

Martha: Okay. Bye.

Simone: Oh, and we have to make one quick pit stop at the Luthor mansion. I need you to do me a favor.

Clark: Whatever you need.

Simone: Clark, you're gonna k*ll Lex Luthor.

Clark: He's a d*ad man.

Lois: Mrs. Kent, what are you doing?

Martha: Stay right where you are.

Lois: Look, you're not yourself so why don't you quit the Calamity Jane impersonation and drop the w*apon.

Martha: I don't like it any more than you do, Lois but it's the only way to keep you here.

Chloe: Oh, my God, I just knocked out Martha Kent.

Lois: Hello? The woman was about to wallpaper her living room with my brain matter.

Chloe: Right. Where's Clark?

Lois: Well, while I was seeing stars, I think his girlfriend said she wanted to go to the Luthor mansion or something.

Chloe: So why don't you stay here and keep Mrs. Kent ...

Lois: Mrs. Kent?

Lex: Well, it's always nice to be welcomed home after a trip but I didn't expect to find you here. Clark, you've been hypnotized. How else could you throw me across a room?

Clark: I'm done with you, Lex.

Lex: You're under Simone's control now. The girl's a cold-blooded m*rder, Clark.

Clark: Your lies can't help you now.

Lex: Clark, before she wore that jewel, she was nothing but a petty shoplifter. Her dad never trusted her with the gem, so she m*rder him. I have the whole thing on surveillance tape.

Simone: You don't believe a word he said, Clark.

Lex: My security's on the way.

Simone: Oh, I've met your security team. I hope you don't mind, I gave them all the day off. Finish him off, Clark and make him suffer.

Chloe: I'm sorry, Clark.

Clark: No. Chloe, no.

Simone: Lex! k*ll her and then k*ll yourself.

Chloe: Are you all right, Clark?

Clark: I think so.

Clark: I feel like I woke up from a bad dream except I remember all the details.

Chloe: Yeah. Did you and Simone ever actually ... ?

Clark: No. Thank God.

Chloe: Okay. The moral of the story is never gaze into the eyes of a seductive woman wearing a gemstone around her neck unless, of course, her name is Lana Lang. Have you talked to her yet? You guys kiss and make up? You haven't talked to her, have you? No. What are you waiting for? I mean, she knows that you were hypnotized. Every single one of us has gone through some sort of an identity crisis at one point. It's like a rite of passage in Smallville. She'll understand.

Clark: Maybe I don't want her to understand. See, as horrible as all this was it did accomplish one thing that I didn't have the guts to do myself. It broke me and Lana up.

Chloe: What? Wait a minute. Are you still hypno'd?

Clark: Chloe, how many times can I break someone's heart before it crumbles?

Chloe: Yeah, but it wasn't your fault. You were hypnotized.

Clark: Lana wasn't. Chloe, her feelings were real. The look of pain in her eye when she walked in on Simone and I ... It made me realize that my power to hurt Lana is stronger than all my powers put together.

Chloe: Meeting a girl with hocus-pocus jewelry isn't an everyday occurrence.

Clark: Yeah, but hurting Lana has become one. And as long as I have to lie to her about who I am, I'm gonna cause her pain.

Chloe: And as long as you don't set the record straight, she's gonna hate you.

Clark: Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe it'll help her move on, forget I ever existed and find someone who can give her what she deserves.

Chloe: You just need to know that if you do this that's it, game over, there's no more quarters left. I mean, you're saying goodbye forever. It will crush her, Clark. Please just think long and hard before you end this for good.

Lana: I've climbed these stairs so many times before why do they seem steeper than ever?

Clark: Thanks for coming, I didn't wanna bother you at school.

Lana: Clark, you can spare me the speech about how sorry you are. I know you were hypnotized and I know that you weren't in control of your actions.

Clark: I need to be honest with you.

Lana: That would be refreshing.

Clark: I don't know any other way to say it but the truth is my feelings for you have changed.

Lana: Clark, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me.

Clark: I don't love you.

Lana: I have waited for you to grow up to get over whatever hang-ups you may have.

Clark: I never meant to hurt you.

Lana: I don't want another Clark Kent apology. It's over. Forever.

Milton Fine: We need more samples.

Martha: How did she take it?

Clark: I've ever seen her so hurt, so angry. Saying those words was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Martha: You're an adult now, Clark in an adult relationship and they rarely end the way we want them to.

Clark: You know, I just didn't know what else to do. It was either make a clean break, or tell her my secret.

Martha: Yeah. I know you didn't tell Lana the truth because you wanted to protect her but maybe there was actually more to it.

Clark: What do you mean?

Martha: Do you think you didn't tell her because maybe deep down you didn't think she was the one?

Clark: Mom, I'll always love Lana.

Martha: I know. That's why you did this. But you didn't just break her heart, Clark, you gave her reason to hate you. I just hope her anger doesn't drive her to do something we'll all regret.

Lex: Oh, just the woman I wanted to see. So it turns out everybody's favorite academic, Milton Fine isn't a professor at all.

Lana: Lex, I'm not here to talk about Milton Fine. I actually wanted you to be the first to know.

Lex: Is everything okay?

Lana: Clark and I broke up. For real.

Lex: Lana, I'm ... I'm sorry.

Lana: No, it's okay. Don't be. l actually do feel like a hundred tons of secrets and lies have been lifted off my shoulders. You know what it's like being friends with Clark. No matter what he tells you, you don't know If it's the truth. You can never trust him.

Lex: Lana ... I know Clark's probably not the easiest guy to be in a relationship with. I don't think he ... he means ...

Lana: Please don't defend him, Lex. How could I have been so stupid?

Lex: You're not stupid. You just put your trust in the wrong person.
{"type": "series", "show": "Smallville", "episode": "05x16 - Hypnotic"}