Original Air Date on March 26th, 2009

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Chloe: [ Chuckling ] Clark ... you shouldn't have.

Oliver: Uh, Clark's sorry he couldn't make it. He and Bart are off ...

Chloe: Yeah. Dealing with a crisis in keystone. I know.[ Chuckles ] Well, come on. Let's, uh ... let's see what you got. [ Chuckles ] Wow. I haven't seen this in ages.

Oliver: You okay?

Chloe: Yeah. Birthdays just make me a little reflective.

Oliver: What do you say we get you out of your head and into the party, huh? Come on.

Chloe: [ Chuckles ] See? Case in point. That was supposed to be my life. Ollie, when did this happen? One day I'm on the fast track for my dream career as the intrepid reporter, and then I blink. And all of a sudden, I'm this underqualified shrink for meteor-infected kids who will probably wake up to be psycho K*llers, while Lois and Clark are walking the beach with matching press passes together. Oh, and did I mention that I was actually able to hold on to "happily ever after" for about 2.3 seconds before my marriage imploded?

Oliver: Is this the part where you belt out the soprano's aria and drive a dagger into your corset?

Chloe: [ Chuckles ] Right. Sorry for the operetta. It's just, I would love to know how she does it.

Oliver: You know, Chloe, if I didn't know you any better, I'd say there was a hint of jealousy in there.

Chloe: No. It's just ... with all these Debbie ups and downers lately, I guess it would be really nice to leave it all behind and be back in the bullpen.

Lois: Hey! One year closer to the sweet release of death.

Chloe: How wonderfully morbid.

Lois: Chloe, I am so sorry. There's been a factory workers revolt in Mexico City, and the Planet is flying me down el primero classo, wheels up in 30. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Love you.

[ Smooches ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Pager beeping ]

[ Beeps ]

Oliver: Oh, Chloe, I got to ... duty calls.

Chloe: It's fine.

Oliver: I'm ... I'm sorry. Happy birthday, Chloe.

Zatanna: Now, there's a man who looks like he needs a little magic in his button-up life.

Oliver: Uh, you know what? I wouldn't want to steal the hocus-pocus away from the birthday girl. How about a little something special for the someone who truly deserves it? Okay? [ Chuckles ]

Chloe: [ Sighs ]

Zatanna: Rough birthday, huh?

Chloe: You ever seen the napalm scene in "Apocalypse Now"? More f*re, less cake.

Zatanna: Let's make sure tomorrow's a better day, hmm? Make a wish.

[ Inhales deeply, blows air ]

Chloe: [ Sighs ] Oh, my god. I'm Lois.

Chloe: [ Sighs ] So, everything's okay with you in Mexico, Lois?

Lois: Everything's great! Except for government oppression and sl*ve labor. Why?

Chloe: Uh ... it's just ... [ Sighs ] You're sure? Nothing weird?

Lois: No. Chlo, what is going on? You don't sound like yourself.

Chloe: No, uh, me? Just got a frog in my throat.

Okay. Well, you take care.

Chloe: You, too.

Reporter: Nice job on that city-hall piece, Lane.

Jeff: Dry cleaning and your morning coffee, Miss Lane.

Chloe: Thanks. Um ...

Jeff: oh, don't worry, Miss Lane. You'll remember my name one of these days.

Chloe: [ Sighs ] [ Sighs ] Right. [ Sighs ] [ Sighs ] [ Sighs ]

Clark: Lois?

Chloe: Thank god. Clark.

Clark: You couldn't have been deported that quickly. Why aren't you in Mexico? Isn't there a limit to how tight a shirt can be to meet dress code?

Chloe: Really? Even you? Well ... here's the thing. I never made it to Mexico.

Clark: Right, can this wait until after your post-lunch, predinner, after-coffee snack break?

[ Sighs ]

Clark: I can't imagine you having any more to say after last night.

Chloe: Last night?

Clark: Yeah, you called me five times from the airport, one from the airplane.

Chloe: You had time to answer six phone calls, and you couldn't call Chloe on her birthday?

Clark: Chloe knows sometimes I get hung up at the ... farm. And if this not-so-hidden attitude is because you still think that I'm taking Jimmy's side on the whole breakup thing, it's because I believe there are two sides to every story.

Chloe: Really? Exactly what two sides?

Clark: Look, he may have gone overboard on the whole ... Davis Bloome serial-k*ller thing, but it's got to be tough when the person that you're trying to build your life with doesn't believe in you. Lois, are you all right?

Chloe: No, I am definitely not all right.

[ Beeping ]

Clark: Well, this should help ... police standoff, Main and 5th. Grab your jacket. Isn't this the part where you tell me to saddle up?

Chloe: Start your engines ... Smallville.

[ Mysterious whooshing ]

Oliver: Now, why do I get the feeling you're not my 10:00 from the steel union?

Zatanna: Zatanna. We weren't properly introduced.

Oliver: "Zatanna." Lose a bet with that name?

Zatanna: [ Chuckles ] It's a family thing.

Oliver: Okay. So, uh, Zatanna ... is it? Right. ... You mind telling me what drives a lovely young woman such as yourself to track down an unsuspecting C.E.O. at a nightclub and then again at his office?

Zatanna: I need your help.

Oliver: You don't scream "charity case."

Zatanna: My father left me an estate in ShadowCrest, so money isn't an object.

Oliver: ShadowCrest. John Zatara, the maestro of magic ... he was your father? Well, I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose family.

Zatanna: Yeah. I lost more than my father. I lost his entire legacy, recorded in a book that's been passed down through generations. There's a bible's worth of my heritage in those pages. When my father died, Mr. Luthor acquired that book at auction.

Oliver: Well, no offense, Zatanna, but, uh, you're the daughter of the world's greatest magician. Can't you just ... I don't know ... wiggle your nose and pull it out of a hat or something?

Zatanna: [ Chuckles ] You're cute. And, no. My father refused to teach me much beyond practical parlor tricks.

Oliver: Oh, uh ... well, I'm sorry. I really wish I could help. Queen Industries may have absorbed all of LuthorCorp holdings, but I'm afraid Lex's lawyers won't let me anywhere near his private collection.

Zatanna: I thought I was gonna have to use a little incentive. See, I have the ability to grant one wish. Big or small, whatever you wish for in that moment, it can be yours.

Oliver: Well, that's very tempting. But as you can see, I'm pretty comfortable with my life the way it is.

Zatanna: Well, there has to be somebody you've lost, something that you've done that you wish you could take back. Get me my book, and I'll make it happen. Offer expires at midnight.

[ Mysterious whooshing ]

Clark: You haven't insulted me once yet today. And you actually crossed at the crosswalk. Did Jeff not bring you your coffee today?

Chloe: Uh ... let's just say I rolled out of bed on the right side. It's amazing how much more you can see with fresh eyes. So, anything else you want to tell me ... oh, ooh.

Clark: [ Sighs ] What's the look for?

Chloe: [ Chuckles ] You just never looked at me that way before.

[ Sighs ]

[ Indistinct shouting in distance ]

There's our story calling.

[ Shouting in Latin ]

Technically, it still is a standoff.

[ Siren wails, shouting continues ]

Cop: All right, Lane. This squares us up before Friday night's poker game. And, by the way, I've been working on my bluff, okay?

Chloe: Right. Keep up the good work, there, tough guy. [ Chuckles ] So, what's the deal with our Sophoclean town crier up there?

[ Shouting continues ]

Cop: Yeah, well, here's the situation. Nutjob up there on the f*re escape ... he owns Yuri's Antiques over on main street. He's been babbling in Latin like this all day. I'll see you on Friday.

[ Shouting continues ]

Chloe: "Woman ... magic cursed on. Book brings death."

Clark: Since when did you speak Latin?

Yuri: Zatanna! Zatanna!

Chloe: Zatanna. Clark! I bet it is that same witchy woman who did this to me. Now, I know where she's performing tonight. Maybe you can superspeed over to this antique shop and dust off any leads.

Clark: "Superspeed"? We didn't even bring a car.

Chloe: What? It's okay. I'm Chloe.

[ Siren wails in distance ]

Chloe: "Stood her up at formal" Chloe? "Planted one on you because Zod was ending the world" Chloe? "Krypton, Jor-El, fortress, Brainiac" Chloe!

Clark: Chloe.

Chloe: Bingo. And just like that raving wardrobe malfunction over there, some magician showed up at my birthday party in fishnets and hexed me! But you'd know that if you hadn't skipped it to answer voice mails from Lois. [ Sighs ] Not that I'm dwelling. Not exactly hiding out, is she?

Clark: You just woke up like this? How did I not pick up on it sooner?

Chloe: Forget about it. This is my Shakespearean nightmare, not yours. Although it has been awfully illuminating.

Clark: Listen, what I said about Jimmy ...

Chloe: [ Sighs ] You're an equal-opportunity good guy. I get it. I guess I'm just not used to seeing you from this perspective. By the way, "Tales of the Weird & Unexplained" ... nice callback.

Clark: I thought it might bring you back to a time when, you know, things were ...

Chloe: Weird and unexplained? You sound like you miss it.

Clark: Oh, I don't know. It's just there's a whole half of my life where this happens every day. Weird has become so normal, it's not even weird anymore. Honestly, I like what I'm doing at the Planet now. But I would be lying if I said that there weren't days when I wish I could forget about saving the world and just be a normal reporter.

Chloe: [ Chuckles ] Well, for now, how about you not stick to your day job?

Zatanna: It won't be much longer, father.

Clark: Much longer for what?

Zatanna: I'm sorry. Have we met?

Chloe: [ Chuckles ] Does an enchanted cupcake ring any bells?

Zatanna: You were the birthday girl.

Clark: You need to reverse the curse that you put on Chloe.

Zatanna: Curse? Is that what you think happened? You kind of got things backwards. I granted you a wish.

Chloe: [ Chuckles ] And why on earth would I wish myself into this?

Zatanna: Beats me. I don't write the magics, honey. I just use them. Now, I'm not saying this is your heart's deepest desire. But in that moment ... this is what you wanted.

Chloe: Okay, just for a second, maybe I was a little jealous of Lois living my dream life with Clark at the Planet. But I didn't literally want her life. Not like this.

Zatanna: Well, don't worry. It will wear off as soon as you don't want it anymore.

Chloe: [ Sighs ] Fine. I don't want it.

Zatanna: [ Chuckles ] You keep telling yourself that.

Clark: Do you really think that man from the antique shop wanted to end up rambling on like a crazy person?

[ Object thumps ]

Zatanna: Maybe he wanted a better understanding of d*ad languages. I wanted an heirloom of my father's. We helped each other out. Fair trade.

Clark: About that heirloom ... what did Yuri mean when he said the book you were after would bring death?

Zatanna: Some people can be a ... a little superstitious.

Clark: And that makes it okay to use them.

Zatanna: Use them? I give people what they want. Look, everybody has something they're hoping for ... something ... something they wish they could change. Even you. I wonder what your little wish would be.

[ Ding ]

Chloe: Clark! Oh, no, Clark.

[ Mysterious whooshing ]

Chloe: Are you okay?

Clark: Yeah, I'm fine.

Chloe: Really? Something has to be different. I never should have brought you along. I forgot that magic affects you just like the rest of us. Are you sure you're all right?

Clark: Yes, Lois. Stop asking me that. And what do you mean by "the rest of us"?

Chloe: It's just that ... wait. What did you just call me?

Clark: Help!

Chloe: Aren't you gonna do anything?

Clark: You're absolutely right, Lois. 911?

how gullibledo you think I am, lois? I'm chloe.Right. At first I had troubletelling you two apart, as well. But lois is the tall one. You just acknowledgedI was chloe before our run-inwith zatanna. She bippity-boppity-booedyou, too! Lois, there's nosuch thing as magic. It's all trapdoorsand wires. Okay, clark,think about it. Right beforewe walked in there, you were just complainingabout how easy it would be if you could justforget the whole hero-alien-everything-weirdside and were jusust a regular,mundane reporter living a normal life.

Clark: If something seems too weird to be true, it usually is. That's rule number 4.

Chloe: What?

Clark: [ Sighs ] "Lois Lane Rules of Reporting." Come on. Like you never let me forget.

Chloe: And you framed this? Look, you said you wanted only one of your double lifes. And whether you meant it or not, the spell thought you did.

Clark: Exactly what other life is it I'm supposed to have, Lois? Lois, what has gotten into you?! Now, wait a second. We're not allowed to be up here, Lois.

Chloe: Clark ... snap out of it. You're a hero.

Clark: [ Scoffs ] I'm a regular Green Arrow. Lois, I don't make the news. I just report it.

Chloe: You are the biggest news there is. You're a superhuman being from another Planet.

Clark: Okay. Just don't tell human resources, all right? Now, I have a deadline to meet.

[ Lock rattles ]

Clark: Did you just lock us up here?

Chloe: Open the door, Clark.

Clark: [ Sighs ] Lois, it's locked! We need a key!

Chloe: Open the damn door, Clark.

Clark: Lois, if you don't ...

Chloe: Now do you believe Clark: What I believe is that this door needs better maintenance. Look at the rust in here. No wonder it just pulled off like that. Okay. Now we're gonna be stuck up here ...

Chloe: How about this? Listen. Really listen. What do you hear?

[ Horn honks in distance ]

[ Indistinct conversations in distance ]

[ Airplane engine s ]

[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

Clark: That's amazing. The acoustics up here are incredible. It's like there's some perfect echo point right here.

[ Metal clangs ]

Clark: Lois! Have you completely lost your mind? That could have really hurt!

Chloe: No, it ... [ Sighs ]

[ Clang ]

Chloe: No, it wouldn't, Clark. You've got superspeed and superstrength and superhearing and x-ray vision!

Clark: And I have a deadline, Lois. Now, please, if you would excuse me, I need to find a way to get off this roof. Unless my superpowers include an ability ... to fly.

Chloe: [ Sighs ]

Clark: I didn't think so. Now ...

[ Sighs ]

[ Arrow flies ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Beeping intensifies ]

[ Beeping stops ]

Oliver: Sorry, guys. I'll make sure you get a nice Christmas bonus.

[ Pry bar clangs ]

Oliver: Thanks, Lex.

[ Mysterious whooshing ]

Zatanna: Bravo. You found my book and pulled it off in style.

Oliver: I wish I could say I've had the pleasure.

Zatanna: [ Chuckles ] Oh, please, Oliver. Ask a billionaire for help, and then a vigilante steals exactly what I ask for? You need to work on your sleight of hand.

Oliver: Yeah.

Zatanna: Now ... give me my book, and I'll give you your wish. A deal's a deal.

Oliver: You know, this isn't just a how-to guide on upping your stage presence. There's some really dark stuff in here, Zatanna.

Zatanna: You don't get it. The sick irony of my ability is that I can grant so many wishes ... everyone's but mine. No. Please? Don't. It's the only way I can bring my father back.

Oliver: I'm sorry. Not good.

[ Zatanna recites incantation]

[ Grunting ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Electricity crackles ]

Oliver: You don't want to do this. You can't just bring someone back and change fate!

Zatanna: I'm sorry. I've waited too long for this. I'm coming, father.

[ Clears throat ] Do you speak English?

Yuri: Yes. You mind telling me who you are?

Chloe: Lois Lane, Daily Planet. I'm sorry. We thought you were under some kind of ... spell?

Clark: Well, she did.

Yuri: You know.

Chloe: We know Zatanna gave you a wish in exchange for some information on a book.

Yuri: I never should have told her how to find that book. I'm afraid she's too blinded by her grief to see the danger that she's in.

Clark: Say this woman does know magic, what sort of danger are you talking about?

Yuri: She must be stopped from using that book to resurrect her father. She isn't prepared to make the sacrifice.

What kind of sacrifice?

Yuri: From what I could decipher, the incantation to bring a life back required the taking of a life in return.

So, in order to bring her father back, someone else must die.

Yuri: A life for a life. A soul for a soul.

[ Sighs ]

Zatanna As life is lived from front to back, let death be turned back to front. Grant me my wish. Resurrect John Zatara.

[ Reciting incantation ]

Clark: That guy really sounded like he believed in what he was saying.

Chloe: That's because it was true. Now we just need to find Zatanna before she tries to give dear old dad one final encore.

[ Thunder rumbling ]

Clark: It looks like we may be too late.

Chloe: Clark, you're the only person who can get up there and put an end to this right now.

Clark: I know what you're about to say, but ...

Chloe: No, Clark. There are no buts with you. No exception to the rule. Now, superleap up there and stop her.

Clark: Look, I don't know. It ...

Chloe: Yeah, okay. Okay, Clark, you don't have to know. If you won't believe in yourself, then let me believe in you. Okay? I know that deep inside, you don't want to just be a normal guy sitting behind a desk reporting on disasters while you could be out there stopping them. Now, use the power you feel. The world needs you.

[ Thunder rumbles ]

Clark: Chloe! Wait, that's ...

Chloe: Impossible? Only in your mind. Sometimes you just need a little leap of faith. Come on, Clark. You can do this. Up, up, and away.

Zatanna: Daddy?

[ Air whooshes ]

Clark: You need to stop this spell.

Zatanna: Don't move. I need to bring my father back.

Clark: At what cost? Are you willing to sacrifice your life for him?

Zatanna: It's what he did for me. He wasn't meant to die. I owe him this. I know the rules. A life for a life. I have to make it right. I'm not afraid.

Clark: Do you really think your father would want you to give up the life he gave you to bring him back?

Zatanna: What would you know about losing the one man who made you who you are?!

Clark: Everything. The day that I lost my father, I thought my world would never be the same. It felt like something had been ripped away from me forever. But I had to let him go. Chloe!

Zatanna: No. No, it was supposed to be me.

Clark: We don't get to choose. But we do get to choose how we live the life that we've been given. I'm finally the man that my father wanted me to be. What does your father want you to be?

Zatanna: I'm sorry.

[ Gasps ] Close the door.

[ Reciting incantation ]

Clark: Chloe?

[ Chuckles ]

[ Knock on door ]

Clark: Peace offering for missing your party.

Chloe: Casualties of being a hero. Not everyone could have punched through Zatanna's whammy and saved the day.

Clark: I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for reminding me who I really am.

Chloe: Yeah, I guess rebooting your superhero O.S. rekindled the Chloe f*re.

[ Chuckles ] Looks like, uh, hero support isn't just a day job anymore. And for that ... we eat bagels. Do you remember everything?

Clark: If you're referring to my "just the facts, ma'am" routine ... [ Chuckles ] It did feel as though a weight had been lifted.

Chloe: Hmm. It must have been hard to harness up again.

Clark: To be honest, a life without responsibility kind of felt empty. I mean, this is who I am, Chloe. Every morning, I wake up with a purpose.

Chloe: Yeah, you're not the only one who saw the world through irony-colored glasses.

Clark: Why did you wait so long to tell me what was going on?

Chloe: Well, let's face it, Clark. My life has been a little less than desirable lately. I mean, with Jimmy and everything.

Clark: Chloe.

Chloe: And I can't deny there's an appeal to the dynamic duo's weekly adventures.

Clark: Well, you haven't missed much. Things haven't exactly been smooth between us lately.

Chloe: Look, I know you don't want to open a can of Kryptonian worms by telling her your secret. But whether you like it or not, Lois Lane is a part of your life now. And considering the nonstop puppy-dog eyes you give her, I'm guessing you don't mind much at all. Clark ... just because you were b*rned once doesn't mean that you can't give it a second chance.

Clark: Are we still talking about me? Or are we talking about you and Jimmy?

Chloe: Touché. Okay. I'm talking about neither of us living in the past. You can never be who you want to be if you're always looking over your shoulder at what could have been.

Clark: Cheers to that.

Oliver: What is this? You drop by to kick my ass again? So much fun for me the first time.

Zatanna: I came to apologize. I just ...

Oliver: "Bound by steel," right? That's what you said to me backwards ... "bound by steel"? I had plenty of time to mull that over when you, uh ... you left me there strung up to either die or have my identity revealed.

Zatanna: I can't ever totally make it up to you or your friends, but I would like to try to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again.

Oliver: Here's a thought ... don't do it again. Hold on. Just a second. It's ... I know how difficult the sacrifices you made must have been ... especially considering how hell-bent you were on getting what you wanted. Well, anyway, in the end you the tough choice, and, um ... I can respect that.

Zatanna: Just know that there are far more dangerous people out there in the world than me ... people with much greater control of the genuinely nasty magics than I do. So ... if you ever run into my kind of mischief again ... call me. And wherever I am, this time, I'm on your side.

Oliver: So I guess this means you're taking your show on the road.

Zatanna: Thinking about taking a little bit of time off to do some light reading. If I'm ever gonna do my father proud ... I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Oliver: Uh, so ... what ... what is this, exactly ... some kind of magic spell to summon you? I just hold it up, say your name a couple times, and, uh, poof, you appear?

Zatanna: It's my phone number.

Oliver: Oh. Of course it is.

[ Mysterious whooshing ]

[ Keys clacking ]

[ Chair squeaking ]

Clark: Is there something on your mind, Lois?

Lois: So, how long did it take for you to realize that I wasn't my usual charming self?

Clark: Well, I have to admit, I should have picked upon it sooner. You weren't as bossy as usual. And Chloe let me drive.

Lois: Well ...

little blonde sources tell me that you don't mind my assertive flair.

[ Sighs ]

Lois: Let me see it.

Clark: Lois, I don't know what you're talking about.

Lois: You have a terrible poker face, Smallville. [ Sighs ] Gimme, gimme. [ Sighs ] Wow. Who would have known you were this sentimental? I think we should ... hang it up so that everyone can see it.

Clark: This is a memento from my first day on the job. And a constant reminder there's only one Lois Lane.

Lois: You better believe it.

Clark: [ Sighs ] Big night?

Lois: Mm, yeah. This guy in first class asked me out, and I figured why the hell not, right?

Clark: Yeah.

Lois: What about you? Big plans?

Clark: Oh, I'm just gonna hang around here, you know, follow up on a few things. You want me to call you if anything comes through the wire to see if you're available?

Lois: You mean if you want to stand me up again?

Clark: Lois, that was ...

Lois: A mistake. Agreed. Why don't we just table this whole "office thrown together in the trenches sparks" thing, okay? Back to basics. Keep the game on the field.

Clark: Yeah, that's a good rule.

Lois: You should add that to the list.

Oliver: Ready?

Chloe: Ready as you are.

Oliver: Yeah. Chloe. This will mean leaving your old life as a reporter behind. You sure you want to say goodbye to that forever?

Chloe: [ Chuckles ] You know, yesterday I wouldn't have been able to answer that question. But after spending the day at the Daily Planet, I realized ... that's someone else's life.

Oliver: It's interesting. Every one seems to have so much clarity after a dose of the Zatanna dust. It almost makes me wish I had my turn at the magic lamp, too.

[ Beeps ]

Chloe: I'll save you the heel blisters. You already know what you really want. We all do. We just don't listen.

Oliver: And you're sure this is it.

Chloe: This is where I belong.

[ Beep ]

[ Beep ]

A.C.: Aquaman online.

[ Beep ]

Dinah: Canary online [ Beep ]

Victor: Cyborg online.

[ Beep ]

Bart: Impulse online.

Oliver: Arrow online.

[ Beeping ]

Chloe: Watchtower is officially online. Let's get to work.
{"type": "series", "show": "Smallville", "episode": "08x17 - Hex"}