Ms. Claus: Have you ever been told of that faithful year?

When Christmas almost didn't happen. It is everyone's worst fear

There was no one to take Santa's big sack of toys and

deliver the presents to the world's good girls and boys.

But this christmas season didn't begin with any trouble at fuss,

it began with some singing like all christmas' must.

[Elves]

It's Christmas time, A jolly time

A Sleigh and snow and holly time

let's huddle tight for Christmas night

is ever drawing near!

When Santa rides on Christmas eve

we elves will stand and cheer our toys fill the sleigh

for the holiday when Santa comes each year!

It's Christmas time, oh jolly time

it's sleigh and snow and holly time!

Bake the cookies trim the tree

save some treats for you and me.

Build a f*re, not too hot!

Put some cider in the pot!

Helping others is the reason

for the joy of christmas season

(car honks)

Santa Claus: It's christmas time! Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Come on everybody, here we go!

Bob: Uh, Sir, you'll be happy to know that toy

production is up to 18 precent from this time

last year.

Santa Claus: 18 precent? Excellent Bob!

As long as everyone is having fun!

Ho Ho Ho! How are the babies coming along?

Elf: See for yourself Santa.

Santa Claus: Easy there, little fella. I got you.

You'll be leading my sleigh in no time.

Santa Claus: Tinsel.

Tinsel: Over here, sir.

Santa Claus: Tinsel,

the youngest elf ever to be my chief mechanic.

How is that new super sleigh of yours coming?

Tinsel: Well sir. It just needs to be tested.

Santa Claus: Tinsel, your father would be so proud of you.

Bob: Santa? We have no idea, if this new contraption is even safe.

Santa Claus: Well I know one way to find out,

first thing tomorrow,

I want you to hitch up the team,

I'm taking Tinsel's super sleigh up for a little spin.

Tinsel: You mean it sir? Wahoo!

Bob: Oh, sir! I, would be oh...

[Elves]

When Santa rides on Christmas Eve

We elves will stand and cheer

our toys fill the sleigh

for the holiday when Santa comes each year!

When Santa rides on Christmas eve

We elves will stand and cheer our toys fill the sleigh

for the holiday!

The time is drawing near!

Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

Mrs Claus: Now, that very same day,

near the south mountain range.

Heat miser and snow miser were at it again!

Heat Miser: So... today's the day, huh, blizzard brain?

Snow Miser: Same time every year inferno face.

Heat Miser: Well, let's just go and get it over with, okay?

Snow Miser: Chill out, hot head. It's family. (Slides down) Ha, ha!

Heat Miser: Yo oh! Easy for you to say. Mother always did like you best.

Snow Miser: What can I say, people like things cool like me.

Heat Miser: Cool? Yeah?

Well, well maybe I should heat things up for you, brother dear!

Snow Miser: And, and maybe I should knock you out cold.

(thundering )

Mother Nature: Now, boys!

You both know there's absolutely

no fighting on the day of the family reunion.

Heat & Snow Miser: Yes, mother dear...

Mother Nature: Now come along and behave yourselves.

You're both already late.

Heat & Snow Miser: Yes, mother dear.

(growl)

Mother Nature: There you are boys.

Come, the family.

Alright now, let's have a total report on the balance of nature.

We'll need to hear from the Tides,

Lightning and Thunder, Earthquake all of my children.

Now who would like to start?

North Wind: Allow me mother. The north wind ready to report.

But before I begin, let me just say how good it is to see you again,

Mother Nature. You look better every year. Here I brought you a gift.

(snap)

Mother Nature: Oh, how thoughtful.

Heat Miser: Goodie, goodie.

Snow Miser: Mama's boy.

North Wind: Everything is running with one

hundred percent efficiency in my territory.

The winds from the north are on time and on schedule.

Heat Miser: (Snoring) Boring.

Snow Miser: (Yawns) Wake me when it's over.

North Wind: Hmph! I do have one concern.

but no no, I don't want to trouble you, mother

Mother Nature: No, please, go ahead, dear.

North Wind: Well Mother, It's the children.

The good children of the world.

We need to make sure they all get their Christmas presents.

Mother Nature: You don't need to worry about that, dear.

That's Santa's job.

North Wind: Of course, Mother.

But what if-- heaven--forbid something should happen to Santa Claus?

What if he was not able to deliver presents on Christmas.

(Everyone cross talks)​​​​​​

Snow Miser: Who cares?

Heat Miser: Uh, I can't remember the last time

Santa Claus brought us any presents.

Mother Nature: Tatata pshaw! Something happen to Santa?

I don't even like to think about it.

Taking Santa's place would be a huge responsibility.

But if it did happen, the north pole does fall under your territory.

North Wind: It's a heavy burden to bear, Mother.

But, but I'll do it. For the children of the world, I'll do it.

Heat Miser: What a wind bag.

Mother Nature: Very well. Thank you, dear.

Now, let's hear from the Miser brothers.

Heat and Snow. And please, let's try to keep this civil for once.

Heat Miser: My dear brother has been running a campaign of pure.

Propaganda to try to give global warming a bad name.

Snow Miser: Oh-ho, puh-leeze. How long have you

been trying to scare people with reports of another ice age coming?

Heat Miser: What about you naming Iceland so you

can claim it as yours? There's hardly any ice there at all!

Snow Miser: You did the same thing only with Greenland.

Greenland is covered with ice! It's not green!

Heat Miser: (clears throat) It will be when I'm done with it.

Snow Miser: Over my melted body!

Heat Miser: (grunts) I can arranged that!

Mother Nature: (thunder clap) Enough!

Mother Nature: How many times must I tell you two?

No more fighting. I know you are opposite forces,

but you must find a way to exist together in balance and harmony.

What would either of you be without the other?

Heat & Snow Miser: Yes, Mother dear...

Mother Nature: You've made so much mess...

just look at that table. Get the broom, do it now.

Bob: Oh, uh, sir, are you sure you should be doing this?

Santa Claus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Don't worry.

If my chef mechanic says it's okay,

that's good enough for me! Right Tinsel?

Tinsel: Aye-eye!

Santa Claus: Okay, let's get this sleigh off the ground.

Ho Ho Ho

Tinsel: Woo Hoo!

North Wind: Santa Claus has just left the safety of his castle...

(laughs) Soon I'll be the one that kids write letters to,

that people write songs and poems about.

All I need is Santa out of the way and Christmas will be mine!

Get going. And remember, make it look like an accident. (Laughs evilly)

Heat Miser: (Yawns) Nothing like getting up in the morning

to a glorious view of the beautiful sun.

He he-wha?

Snow Miser: Hey there, hot head! How do you like my new addition?

Heat Miser: (Steams) Addition? You're blocking my view of the sun!

Two can play at this game...

Snow Miser: Hey, hey!

That totally blocks my cool mountain breeze, man.

Take that down!

Heat Miser: Take yours down first, snow cone brain!

Take it down or I'll blast it down!

Snow Miser: If that's how you want to play it...

Heat Miser: Owe!

(whistles)

Elf: Santa, do you copy? Over.

Santa Claus: Ho, Ho, Ho! I just passed by thousand feet!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Mrs Claus: Take it easy, Pa. No loops now you hear?

Santa Claus: Of course not, Ma... wouldn't think of it.

North Wind Minions: (whispering)

Santa Claus: Woo-hoo, Tinsel, she handles like a dream!

Tinsel: Gee, thanks!

Santa Claus: I'm heading back now. Oh, no. The Miser Brothers!

Elf: Santa is headed right into Heat Miser and Snow Miser's crossfire!

Mrs Claus: Santa! Pull out of there!

Santa Claus: I'm h*t! I'm h*t! I'm going down! Whoa! I'm h*t!

Heat Miser: Hey, no. It can't be That isn't...

Snow Miser: Santa Claus! Hold your f*re boys!

Woah!

Heat Miser: Stop sh**ting! It's Santa Claus! Stop!

Heat & Snow Miser: Oh, no! Mom is going to k*ll us.

Santa Claus: I can't pull out of this. I'm cutting the reindeer loose.

Tinsel: Sir! There's an emergency parachute lever under the console!

Pull it!

Bob: Santa? Are you okay? Santa?

Mrs Claus: Santa dear?

Santa Claus: I'm fine. Chutes opened. (back cracks)

Oh! My back!

Elf: Well, Santa is going to be fine, just fine, That's the good news...

Mrs Claus: And the bad news?

Elf: Well, I'm afraid he's thrown out that bad back of his again.

He needs to be confined to bed.

Santa Claus: For how long?

Elf: Two to three weeks.

Santa Claus: Weeks? It's Christmas! I'm Santa Claus!

I have things to do! This is all ridiculous! I'm fine,

I just... ( back cracks) Oh!

Elf: He needs rest. Absolutely no work.

Bob: Two or three weeks? But what about Christmas?

Mrs. Claus:

It won't be easy but we'll just have to do our best without him.

Tinsel: (sighs)

Mrs. Claus: Tinsel... it's not your fault.

Tinsel: Maybe if I had made the sleigh stronger,

or if I put some more of thing under the-

Mrs. Claus: No, Tinsel...

there are only two people to blame for all this.

Mother Nature: That's right, Mrs. Claus

I'm going to see to it that they get the punishment they deserve.

Care to join me.

Mother Nature: I warned you that your feuding would lead to trouble.

Now look what you've done. Christmas is approaching and

Santa is laid up with a bad back.

North Wind: Mother, I came as soon as I heard the news!

Santa Claus! It's terrible.

North Wind: Fortunately, I'm ready to step in and take over--

Mother Nature: Oh, don't worry, dear. Santa is fine.

North Wind: He is? Oh, he is.

Thank goodness. I was so worried.

Mother Nature: Santa will make a full recovery in time for next Christmas.

As for this Christmas, I have something else in mind,

as long as Mrs. Claus will agree.

Mrs. Claus: Agree to what exactly?

Mother Nature: Agree to force heat miser and snow miser.

To put aside their differences and

work together to take Santa's place this year.

Tinsel: The Miser Brothers!

But they don't know anything about Christmas!

Mother Nature: Ah, well, maybe not.

But maybe learning a little something

about Christmas will do these two some good.

What do you say, Mrs. Claus?

Mrs. Claus: Well, I must admit, I'm a bit skeptical myself.

But if you think it's a good idea.

Mother Nature: I do.

And believe me, these two wouldn't dare disappoint me.

Will you?

Heat & Snow Miser: No mother dear.

Mrs Claus: Well, I just hope you're right.

Because I'm afraid if this doesn't work.

There may not be any Christmas at all.

North Wind: Oh, there's going to be a Christmas, Mrs. Claus...

Ha ha ha! It's just going to be my kind of Christmas!

I just need to find a way to lure Santa out of the safety of his castle and

make sure that he never returns.

Then, the world will meet a new Santa and it will be me!

Haha Haha Ha!

It's my kind of Christmas;

A cold windy Christmas,

and I am the cool guy on the scene.

Well, I'm taking over.

Who needs Santa?

He's just a hasbeen; can't you see?

It's over

This Christmas; no Santa; just me.

I'll be number one; I'll get the job done.

I'll f*re the elves and do it all by myself. Hey!

I won't need a sleigh; send the reindeer away;

I don't really care,

as long as it's me who's there.

They won't miss Santa; there won't be a Santa.

No ho ho.

I'll step right over

Santa's little shoulder,

When I am the cool guy on the scene.

I'll give out the toys

To all the girls and boys

As long as they know that it was me.

It's over.

This Christmas; no Santa; just me.

You'll be number one.

That's right.

You'll get the job done.

Yep.

I'll f*re the elves and do it all by myself

Hey!

I won't need a sleigh;

send the reindeer away!

I don't really care, as long as it's me who's there.

They won't miss Santa; there won't be a Santa.

It's over

It's over

It's over

It's over!

This Christmas; no Santa; just me!!!

Ha Ha Haha Haha

Bob: Ahem, Now, I'll try to bring you up to speed on basic operations.

Snow Miser: You might want to leave some extra room in the waist.

My brother tends to pack up from weight around to the holidays.

Heat Miser: And you might want to pull my brother's hat

over that icicle face so he doesn't scare all the good little children

around the world.

Snow Miser: Oh you'll have to excuse my brother.

Mother never gave him much attention as a child. She liked me better.

Heat Miser: That does it!

Bob: Gentlemen, please!

Bob: There's work to be done.

Our production is already down 22 percent!

Snow Miser: Chill, my man. I happen to have some ideas

that will get this place running smoother than a glacier.

Chop, chop.

Heat Miser:

And I happen to know how we can f*re things up around here.

(Whistles)

Elf: Woah!

Bob: Oh!

Bob: Mrs. Claus! I'm sorry to bother you,

Mrs. Claus, but I think you need to see this!

Mrs. Claus: What is it, Bob?

Aren't the Miser Brothers running the toy factory?

Bob: Oh, oh, they're running it alright! See for yourself.

Mrs Claus: Oh, oh my!

I'm Mister White Christmas, I'm Mister Snow.

I'm Mister Icicle; I'm Mister Ten below.

Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch,

Turns to snow in my clutch.

I'm too much.

I'm Mister Green Christmas, I'm Mister Sun.

I'm Mister Heat Blister, I'm Mister 101.

They call me Heat Miser, whatever I touch

Starts to melt in my clutch.

Hehehehaha

I'm too much!

He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow.

He's Mister Icicle; he's Mister Ten below.

Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch,

Turns to snow in my clutch.

He's too much.

Ahh, thank you!

I never want to know a day that's over 40 degrees,

I'd rather have it 30, 20, 10, 5 and let it freeze!

He's Mister Green Christmas, he's Mister Sun.

He's Mister Heat Blister, he's Mister 101.

They call me Heat Miser, whatever I touch

Starts to melt in my clutch.

He's too much.

I never want to know a day that's under 60 degrees,

I'd rather have it 80, 90, 100 degrees!

He's Mister White Christmas,

He's mr. sun

He's Mister Icicle

he's Mister 101.

Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch,

Turns to snow/starts to melt in my clutch

He's too much!

Heha!

Too much!

Heat Miser: Green Christmas!

Snow Miser: White Christmas!

Mrs Claus: Oh, my. I'm afraid we're going to have to do something

drastic. Christmas is depending on it.

Mrs. Claus: So Christmas was coming, it was almost here,

but with Santa laid up, it became our worst fear...

Heat Miser and Snow Miser were now in charge of Santa's toy shop.

But their fighting and feuding made everything grind to a stop.

Bob: Oh, with Heat Miser and Snow Miser fighting all the time.

I'm afraid toy manufacturing is down to zero.

Mrs. Claus: There must be a way to get those two to put aside

their differences and work together.

Santa Claus: I don't know, ma...

if you could just take a look at their history on the naughty

and nice list--well is not very pretty.

Mrs Claus: The naughty and nice list, oh...

that gives me an idea that might just work.

Heat Miser: I say we begin delivering presents in the south.

Snow Miser: And I say we begin in the north, of course.

Heat Miser: Why you!

Mrs. Claus: Hold on there, boys. Hold everything...

now there's another important part

of Santa's operation that you still have to see.

Snow Miser: Wow!

Mrs. Claus: This is the central operation for Santa's

naughty and nice list.

Elf #1: Penny dickens in chicago just cleaned her room!

(The elves cheered)

Elf #2: Uh-oh. Jacques Marcel in paris just went to bed

without brushing his teeth

(All elves are disgusted)

Heat Miser: You mean to tell me that it all gets recorded here?

Snow Miser: The good and bad deeds of every kid, all over the world?

Mrs. Claus: That's right boys.

Heat Miser: That's totally hot.

Snow Miser: That's totally cool.

Mrs. Claus: Ah, but that's not all we can also go into the archives

and look at the lists from years ago.

Mrs. Claus: Watch.

Heat Miser: (gasps) Look!

Snow Miser: That's us!

Mrs. Claus: Of course,

those that end up on the naughty list usually

don't start out that way something usually goes wrong.

When you fight day and night.

You know it isn't right that we must live in harmony

Who is better than a brother

He's the best of all the others.

Brothers should be friends.

But things get rough.

And life's too tough

He'll go the extra mile and make it better with his smile.

Who is better than a brother?

He's the best of all the others

Brothers should be friends.

Treat your brother with respect and he will treat you well

Listen when he talks to you do the things he likes to do

Show him love and don't att*ck and you will get the love right back

Who is better than a brother

There really is no other

Brothers should be friends

Heat Miser: That's why we didn't get presents from Santa.

Snow Miser: We we're always on the naughty list

for fighting with each other. Always.

Mrs. Claus: That's right. But it's never too late to change.

He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow.

He's Mister Icicle; he's Mister Ten below.

Friends call him Snow Miser, whatever he'll touch,

Turns to snow in his clutch.

He's too much.

He's Mister Green Christmas, he's Mister Sun.

Love ya!

He's Mister Heat Blister, he's Mister 101.

They call him Heat Miser, whatever he'll touch

Starts to melt in his clutch.

He's too much!

We're too much!

Too much!

(Mrs. Claus claps)

North Wind: Hmm, So my foolish brothers

are pulling Christmas off after all.

That gives me the perfect idea...

All I need to do is break up the touching reunion between Heat Miser

and Snow Miser and make sure that they're too busy fighting

with each other to deliver Santa's presents.

When Santa finds out that Christmas is in danger,

he'll have to get out bed and make the trip himself...

and that will be the last the world ever sees the last of him.

Don't touch the hair!

Wait until they catch wind of their new Santa...

Me! (Laughs evilly)

Snow Miser: All loaded and ready to fly.

Heat Miser: Ah, yes. I insist we begin our deliveries in the north.

Snow Miser: Ha, ha. Don't be silly.

We'll start in the south and work our way back.

Elves: (cheering) Go go go!

You can do it!

Snow Miser: Well folks. It's showtime! Let's stay frosty.

Heat Miser: You mean, let's get warmed up?

Snow Miser: Hot! Hot! Cold!

Heat Miser: C-c-c-cold!

Snow Miser: Now what's this all about, boiling brains?

Planning on secretly melting a few ice caps

while we were flying over my turf?

Heat Miser: What about you, planning on making it snow

when we flew over the tropics?

You've been planning this all along, trying to gain my trust,

so you could turn the world into one big White Christmas!

Snow Miser: What about you?

Pretending to bury the hatchet with me

so you could spread a green Christmas all over the globe!

Mrs Claus: Now, now, boys!

You have come too far to let a little misunderstanding.

Mrs Claus: And so here we are on Christmas eve night,

just minutes from Christmas with no hope in sight.

Oh, but, Santa. You should be in bed!

Santa Claus: Somebody has to deliver the presents.

The children count on us. Now let's get the team hitched up.

Mrs. Claus: Be careful, Santa.

Bob: Yes, yes, please be careful.

North Wind: There he is.

This time we're going to make sure Christmas will be mine forever.

Mrs Claus: Hold on you two.

Please, please, stop!

Snow Miser: None of this would have happened

if hot head over there hadn't sh*t Santa out of the sky!

Heat Miser: Me? You've always been the cold-hearted one!

Mrs. Claus: It was neither of you.

Heat & Snow: Huh?

Tinsel: See/ These were unscrewed on purpose!

This was sabotage!

Mrs. Claus: But who would do such a thing.

Heat Miser: Our brother, Mr. Goodie-goodie himself.

Snow Miser: The North Wind.

Because if something happens to Santa Claus.

Heat Miser: He takes over.

Mrs. Claus: (Gasps) And Santa is out there all alone!

We need to do something if it isn't too late.

Bob: Oh! What can we do?

You'll never be able to catch Santa now!

Oh dear!

Tinsel: We can with this!

I'll have it running in no time!

Mrs. Claus: But Tinsel--

there's no reindeer team left to pull it!

Tinsel: I have an idea.

Elf: Are you rady, dobler?

Elf: Tinsel, we are good to go.

Heat Miser: What are we suppose to say here?

Giddy-up? Tally ho?

Snow Miser: Yeah, is it like up,

up and away or something?

(whistles)

(Elves cheering)

Snow Miser: Woohoo!

Santa: Woah

North Wind: Sorry, Santa, but your time is at an end.

Christmas is mine, once and for all! (Laughs)

North Wind: You'll be lost in this vortex forever!

(Laughs)

Santa: Woah! Woah!

Tinsel: Santa! Hang on, sir!

Tinsel: Easy. Easy.

Santa Claus: I'm coming. (His back cracks) My back! Oh!

Snow Miser: Santa!

Tinsel: Oh!

(Snow Miser and Heat Miser scream)

Santa Claus: No!

Snow Miser: Well, I guess this is it.

Heat Miser: Yup, yup. I just wanted to say-

-even after all we've been through I still can't stand you.

Snow Miser: You took the words right out of my mouth, Brother.

North Wind: Grunts

Tinsel: Don't worry, sir. You're safe now.

North Wind: Not yet he isn't! (Laughs)

North Wind: Huh? What?

Oh, let me out of there. Oh, how dare you!

Heat Miser: (screams) Too high! Too high!

Snow Miser: Ah, just don't look down!

Snow Miser: (screams)

Santa Claus: Ho Ho Ho!

Elf: Look!

(Elves cheering)

North Wind: Let me out of here!

Gaa!

Heat Miser: Well, well, well. Mr. Windbag himself.

Snow Miser: Someone's been a very naughty boy.

North Wind: Ha! So what?

You two have no authority over me.

Snow Miser: Maybe not.

Heat Miser: But we know someone who does...

Heat & Snow Miser: Oh, mother...!

North Wind: Owe! Owe! Let Go!

Mother Nature: You won't need to worry about this one.

I'll see to it he's doing chores for me

for the next several thousand years.

North Wind: Oh! But mother! I wanted to be...

(thunder)

Mother Nature: Now what about my other two boys?

Bob: Ahem.

Heat Miser: Oh, the nice list!

Snow Miser: We finally made the nice list!

Bob: (grunting) Okay

Heat Miser: That is so cool!

Snow Miser: No, no, that is totally hot! So hot! Hot!

Mother Nature: I had a feeling

a little Christmas spirit is just what these two needed.

Santa Claus: I hate to break up this celebrations.

But my back is still out.

Those presents still need to be delivered all over the world.

Any volunteers?

Heat Miser: We be honored to do it.

Snow Miser: Together.

Heat Miser: Ha ha! He he! (whistles)

Elves: Wow!

It's Christmas time, A jolly time

A Sleigh and snow and holly time

let's huddle tight for Christmas night

is ever drawing near!

When Santa rides on Christmas eve

we elves will stand and cheer our toys fill the sleigh

for the holiday when Santa comes each year!

When Christmas comes and friends are here

We feel the peace and love.

This time of the year always brings good cheer

And blessings from above!

Snow Miser: Merry christmas!

Heat Miser: Merry Christmas!
{"type": "movie", "show": "A Miser Brothers' Christmas (2008)", "episode": ""}