MUSIC IN:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

TONY: So what do you think?

ZIVA: Not bad, I suppose.

TONY: Not bad she says as she walks in from the outdoor patio, past the fax machine and the mini-bar, complimentary basket of fruit. This is the perfect way to spend a weekend. Come on! Big screen TV! Ooh! Two hundred channels. Look at this. HBO, ESPN, The Mystery Channel. Turner Classic Movies. I take it you're not interested in the premium channels?

ZIVA: There's only one thing I'm interested in right now.

(MUSIC OVER ACTION)

(MUSIC OUT)

(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)

FADE IN:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

"UNDER COVERS"

ZIVA: Do you think they bought it?

TONY: I did.

ZIVA: That's fairly obvious.

TONY: For your information that's my knee.

ZIVA: Whatever. You can get off of me now.

TONY: It's only been ten minutes. I have a reputation to protect.

ZIVA: We're not even sure if we're under surveillance yet, Tony.

TONY: You can't be too careful when you're undercover. Let's give it another forty minutes, just to be realistic.

ZIVA: Realistic, huh?

TONY: Uh-huh.

ZIVA: In that case...

(F/X: TONY AND ZIVA ROLL OVER)

ZIVA: I'm right on top.

TONY: I can live with that.(SFX: TONY GROANS)

TONY: What was that for?

ZIVA: Because that was definitely not your knee.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Oh, she's very beautiful, Jethro.

GIBBS: Her name's Sophie Ranier. She's m*rder over twenty five people, Ducky.

DUCKY: Yeah, and her friend?

GIBBS: Her husband. Jean Paul Ranier. Both Canadian citizens, both contract assassins.

DUCKY: She suffered extensive injuries. It may take quite a while to determine the actual cause of death.

GIBBS: They were k*lled in a car accident two days ago outside of Kuwait International Airport. Here's the accident report.

DUCKY: I'm assuming this is urgent. I've waited three months to see Giselle.

GIBBS: Yeah, apologies about the girlfriend, Duck. But I do need you to...

SHEPARD: Giselle's a ballet, Gibbs. You really should get out of your basement more, Jethro.

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES)

SHEPARD: We need to know everything we can about these two, Ducky.

DUCKY: Why is NCIS investigating this?

SHEPARD: Marine C.I.D. found two fake U.S. passports and two first-class tickets for Washington, D.C. in their luggage.

GIBBS: They have reservations at the Barclay through November tenth.

DUCKY: The Marine Corps' birthday.

GIBBS: They're holding the ball there. Hosted by the Commandant of the Marine Corps.

SHEPARD: Our top military leaders, Congressmen and Agency Directors will be there, including me.

GIBBS: Tony and Ziva have taken their room reservations at the Barclay. They're there now pretending to be these two. They're working blind, Duck.

SHEPARD: We're counting on you to fill them in on some of the more personal details of our couple.

DUCKY: Oh, though it may be common knowledge that I talk to my patients. Unfortunately, to date, none of them have ever answered me back.

GIBBS: Listen harder.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

TONY: Sweetheart, you know what I could really use right now?

ZIVA: Some deodorant?

TONY: I was thinking more along the lines of a back massage.

ZIVA: Good idea. Why don't you roll over like a good boy?

TONY: Oh, wow. Oh, and to think my mother thought I was too good for you. Ow!

(SFX: TONY GASPS)

CUT TO:

INT. FREEMONT HOTEL - NIGHT

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

YUSSIF: What'd I miss?

MAYA: They had sex.

YUSSIF: Did they have any contact with anyone yet?

MAYA: Just each other. Multiple times.

YUSSIF: Was it good for you?(KNOCK ON DOOR)

MAYA: Wait. Someone's knocking at their door.

ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Who is it?

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Room service.

MAYA: Room service.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

MCGEE: Compliments of the hotel management. (WHISPERS) Gibbs wants me to sweep the room for bugs and plant some of our own. And he also wants to talk to you.

ZIVA: You can put it over there, please.

MCGEE: Very good, Ma'am.

ZIVA: Garcon...

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - NIGHT

ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) We'd like some extra bath towels.

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Of course.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

MCGEE: Just checking to make sure everything's in order. Would you like me to have the maid make up the bed for you, Sir?

TONY: Oh, that won't be necessary.

CUT TO:

INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM

ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Oh, and will you check the mini bar? We'd like it restocked with Red Bull.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

MCGEE: Red Bull. That'll keep you up all night, Ma'am.

ZIVA: Exactly.

MCGEE: Please accept this assortment of cheeses compliments of the hotel.

CUT TO:

INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM

YUSSIF: What's wrong?

MAYA: Room service put a tray on our microphone.

YUSSIF: Well you know what that means.

MAYA: We're screwed?

YUSSIF: Nope. You get to dress up as a maid, Maya.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

MCGEE: If you whisper, it should be okay.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - NIGHT

GIBBS: Comfortable, DiNozzo?

TONY: (ON MONITOR) Well, yeah. I'm working on it. Why do you ask?

SHEPARD: We're looking at you, Agent DiNozzo. All of you.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

TONY: Ah, sorry about that.

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) DiNozzo...

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - NIGHT

GIBBS: What the hell are you doing? You're married assassins. You're not visiting the Playboy mansion.

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) It was kind of Ziva's idea, boss.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL - NIGHT

(PHONE RINGS)

TONY: Incoming call.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - NIGHT

SHEPARD: Have her answer it.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

(PHONE RINGS)

TONY: Sweet cheeks, do you think you could go over and answer the phone for me while I pour us some champagne? (TO ZIVA) Thanks, honey.

(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Yes.

(SCENE CUT)

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) There's a cell phone in the Bible next to your bed.

(SCENE CUT)

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Got it.

(SCENE CUT)

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Keep it with you at all times.

(SCENE CUT)

MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) You have dinner reservations at the hotel dining room at nine o'clock.

(SCENE CUT)

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Don't be late.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

ZIVA: The concierge. We were able to get into the dining room after all, my love. It looks like I'm getting dressed up for you tonight.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - DAY

GIBBS: That wasn't the concierge. That was their contact.

CUT TO:

INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM

MAYA: We're on the move. Let's go. We've got to get dressed for dinner.

YUSSIF: I'm coming.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - NIGHT

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

ABBY: Don't look at me that way, Gibbs. It was league night when I got your nine-one-one. I was two frames away from a perfect score. And just for the record, the stupid outfits were not my idea.

GIBBS: I like it.

ABBY: It is kind of cute, huh?

DUCKY: No sign of Mister Palmer I suppose.

ABBY: Not since this afternoon, Ducky.

GIBBS: Abs, these are their personal effects. Get yourself wired so you can feed whatever you find directly to DiNozzo and David.

ABBY: Looking for anything in particular?

GIBBS: Yeah, anything that will help those two act like them.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED)

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Solid on the visuals, Tony.

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) There's quite a crowd here tonight. See anyone (ON CAMERA) you know, Sweet Cheeks?

ZIVA: Not yet. But the night's just getting started, my little hairy butt.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

GIBBS: Abs?

ABBY: I'm loading the photos into the computer.

GIBBS: Duck, got any scoop for our married couple?

DUCKY: I have the breakdown of the contents of their stomachs and intestines. If Mister Ranier had lived, I would have suggested a more fiber rich diet.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED) His colon was almost impacted with fecal material.

MAITRE D'(in b.g. to MAYA/YUSSIF) Good evening, table for two?

TONY: Do you think it's too late to order a salad?

ZIVA: I believe our food is here. Bon appetite mon petit bout.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

GIBBS: McGee, (V.O.) report.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

MCGEE: I've got the restaurant covered from the entrance, Boss.

(CAMERA ANGLE ON TONY)

TONY: I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM

DUCKY: Tony, the calluses on Mister Ranier's hand....

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED)... Suggest he was left handed.

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Switch hands, DiNozzo.

ZIVA: This is nice, isn't it?

TONY: Yeah, a quiet little dinner....just the six of us.

(PHONE RINGS)

ZIVA: Our friend is calling.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

GIBBS: Abs, I want that number.

ABBY: Got it.

ABBY: Starting the reverse search directory now.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) I'm glad you called. We were getting bored.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I thought it would help to see your target in person tonight.

(SCENE CUT)

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) He's here?

MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) You don't see him?

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Relax, I'm been flying for over twenty hours. (V.O.) And the restaurant's packed. We will.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

GIBBS: Talk to me, Abs.

ABBY: He's calling from a pay phone. The address is coming up.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) You didn't mention anything about being surrounded by U.S. Marines.

(SCENE CUT)

ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) It's too dangerous for the sum you're paying us.

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Accomplish your mission, we'll discuss more.

(SCENE CUT)

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) But you won't pay us more.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

ABBY: Got it! Two, two oh five "M" Street. He's calling from a pay phone...

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) ....Inside the restaurant!

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) DiNozzo! McGee!

MCGEE: Already moving.

TONY: I have to go to the little boy's room.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I have to talk to my boss.

(SCENE CUT)

ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Do that. We'll wait for you to - he hung up.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

CUT TO:

INT. LOBBY - NIGHT

MCGEE: Don't move! Federal Agent!

TONY: It's me, Probie. He's gone.

(MUSIC OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

TONY: Must've slipped out through the kitchen. (V.O./FILTERED) I didn't even get a look. (ON CAMERA) You want us back at the squad room, Boss?

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) No.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: I want you and Ziva back in your room, maintaining your cover.

(SCENE CUT)

TONY: Oh, all night?

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: Do I stutter or something, DiNozzo?(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

ZIVA: Afraid I'll bite, Tony?

TONY: The name is Jean Paul, Sophie.

ZIVA: Jean Paul.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

GIBBS: Hey Abs, what do you got?

ABBY: I have a "whoopee" and I have a "but."

GIBBS: Abby...

ABBY: Whoopee I've got a photo of the man that Tony and Ziva are going to assassinate.

GIBBS: But?

ABBY: But... I have no idea which of these thirty two photos is him.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - NIGHT

SHEPARD: What makes you think the target's a male? Did you forget I'll be there?

GIBBS: Nope. Whoever set up the h*t referred to the collar as a man.

SHEPARD: You've made contact.

GIBBS: Ziva got a pay-phone call.

SHEPARD: You trace it?

GIBBS: Gee, why didn't I think of that?

SHEPARD: Sorry, Jethro. I'm a little tired.

GIBBS: Yeah, well, you never could pace yourself very well.

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE)

SHEPARD: I have one word for you, Jethro.

GIBBS: Hmm...

SHEPARD: Positano.

GIBBS: Come on! That was a week after I took a b*llet.

SHEPARD: Uh-huh. Where did the call originate?

GIBBS: Pay phone in the hotel. We got there. The guy was gone.

SHEPARD: Uh-huh. Where did the call originate?

GIBBS: Pay phone in the hotel. We got there. The guy was gone.

SHEPARD: At lease we know he's here keeping tabs on the operation.

GIBBS: Abby's matching these photos with reservations in the restaurant. She'll check the names against invites to the ball. It'll narrow the target.

SHEPARD: What if the h*t has nothing to do with the ball? Someone who's a guest at the hotel?

GIBBS: Ziva told him she didn't know the target would be surrounded by Marines.

SHEPARD: And he wasn't surprised?

GIBBS: No. (b*at) hey, nothing's going to happen tonight. Tony and Ziva are hitting the rack. All the back-up teams are in place around the hotel. Why don't you go grab forty on the couch in your office?

SHEPARD: No. I just need a little coffee.

GIBBS: Yeah? And when the caffeine jolt ends?

SHEPARD: I'll do what you do....get a refill.

GIBBS: You're not me.

SHEPARD: Chauvinist.

GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Good night, Jen.

SHEPARD: Jethro --.

GIBBS: Uh huh --

SHEPARD: I need to bounce something off you.

GIBBS: Okay, sh**t.

SHEPARD: My Director side is telling me to flood that hotel with security and notify the FBI of a potential t*rror1st att*ck. My agent side? If I do that, we lose the chance to take down an enemy cell operating inside the Capitol. They'll scatter. Of course, you'd stay the course. Trust your people to get the job done.

GIBBS: Are you telling me what I'd do?

SHEPARD: Asking.

GIBBS: If I was Director, I'd give my people another twenty four. They can't get the job done, I'd notify the FBI.

SHEPARD: You'd really do that?

GIBBS: Nah. But that's why I'll never be Director.

CUT TO:

INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM

(SFX: SNORING B.G.)

YUSSIF: The man snores like a drunken sailor.(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

MAYA: Well, we won't have to listen much longer. They saw their target at the restaurant. We're on plan.

YUSSIF: I watched the videotape of their session this afternoon, Maya. It's pretty hot stuff. Those two really know how to live their life. You... you ever think about that maybe...

MAYA: Forget it! We're here on a mission, period. You want something more than coffee, call room service.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

(SFX: SNORING B.G.)

TONY: Oh my god! Ziva! Shh! Come on, you're k*lling me here! Sophie!

ZIVA: Oh! (b*at) What?

TONY: Nothing. I thought I heard something.

(ZIVA MUMBLES)

TONY: Crazy chick.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - NIGHT

ZIVA: (V.O.) I heard that, my little hairy butt.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

MCGEE: Good morning, Boss. Thank you. Hey Boss, this was sitting on my front porch this morning.

GIBBS: What is it?

MCGEE: It's a package addressed to Ziva.

GIBBS: Well, yeah. I can see that, McGee. What is in it?

MCGEE: I wasn't sure if I should open it.

GIBBS: That's probably why she's using you as her mule.

(GIBBS OPENS THE BOX)

MCGEE: Sunglasses? With different lenses?

GIBBS: Why?

MCGEE: To protect her eyes? You know what, I'm going to ask her. I'm going to find out.

GIBBS: Yeah, good idea, McGee. Send them a wake-up call.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Tony.

TONY: Hm?

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Hey, DiNozzo!

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

MCGEE: Tony! This is great. They're sleeping in a five star hotel. I'm a waiter.

ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Want to trade places, McGee?

MCGEE: (V.O.) You're awake.

ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) Since zero five.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

ZIVA: He snores.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

MCGEE: I got a package here for you.

ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) My shades. (V.O.) Can you bring them up with breakfast?

MCGEE: (V.O.) Sure. (ON CAMERA) Gibbs wants Tony up, too.

ZIVA: (ON MONITOR) Huh. My pleasure.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

ZIVA: Jean Paul, my little furry bear.(F/X: ZIVA POURS WATER ON TONY'S HEAD)

(F/X: TONY LEAPS FROM THE BED/SHOUTING)

ZIVA: Oh.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Make the stitches precise, Mister Palmer.

JIMMY: Uh, yes, Doctor.

DUCKY: And when you're done, I want the supply locker inventoried and cleaned.

JIMMY: I uh...actually already did that, Doctor.

DUCKY: Then do it again.(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

GIBBS: What have we found out, Duck?

DUCKY: That my assistant, Mister Palmer here, should keep his cell phone with him and turned on at all times.

GIBBS: What can you tell me about our assassins?

DUCKY: Oh, Mister Ranier here had his appendix removed. Mrs. had her left wrist broken as a child. We did, however, find some rather curious markings.

GIBBS: Markings?

DUCKY: Well, tattoos might be the more appropriate word. Almost invisible to the naked eye. On the inside of the fourth digit on both of their left hands.

GIBBS: An eight?

DUCKY: Or the sign for infinity.

GIBBS: Some kind of t*rror1st cell ID?

DUCKY: On their ring fingers, perhaps it means love forever. You know, I want to take another look at the x-rays, make sure I didn't miss anything else.

GIBBS: Yeah, do it. You missed a stitch there, Palmer.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

TONY: We really should take you to see the doctor, Sweet Cheeks.

ZIVA: Why's that?

TONY: Because you snore like a drunken sailor with emphysema.

ZIVA: Look who's calling the pot black.

TONY: Kettle. The pot is calling the kettle black.

ZIVA: Huh. I'd really like some music. Something with a little... b*at, dear.

TONY: Sorry.(SFX: MUSIC PLAYS B.G.)

TONY: What have we got?

ZIVA: Ooh, sneaky people.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Top floor, northwest corner, Gibbs. They have a laser trained on our room.

MCGEE: I can't believe that your sunglasses can detect different light spectrums, Ziva. That's amazing.

GIBBS: DiNozzo, we're going to need a diversion.

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) I think we can manage something, Boss.

GIBBS: Let's roll, McGee.

ABBY: Ziva, that is amazing. Big whoop, she has spy glasses. Anyone could do that. That's not amazing. She's just...

ZIVA: (V.O./FILTERED) Uh, you realize we can still hear you, right, Abby?

CUT TO:

INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM

YUSSIF: I think I'm going to need a cold shower after this.

MAYA: Disgusting. Give me those binoculars!

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

(SFX: ZIVA MOANS B.G.)

TONY: I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

ZIVA: (COUNTS) Ninety six, ninety seven, ninety eight...

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

GIBBS: We're in position, DiNozzo. Give it the big finish.

CUT TO:

INT. YUSSIF'S HOTEL ROOM

YUSSIF: We could make a fortune with this off the Internet.

MAYA: They're serial K*llers, Yussif. I wouldn't recommend trying.

(SFX: DOOR BURSTS OPEN)

(SFX: ALL SHOUT OVER)

GIBBS: Put them down!

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

FADE IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

(VOICES ON TV in b.g.)

MAYA: I have a whole new respect for NCIS, Agent McGee.

YUSSIF: You guys are hard-core.

MCGEE: We got lucky. It was actually the trained laser on the room that gave you away.

MAYA: We were talking about your agents pretending to be married assassins.

YUSSIF: Very convincing.

MAYA: I don't think anyone in the FBI would actually go all the way just to sell a cover story.

YUSSIF: I would.

MCGEE: Guys, they were acting.

YUSSIF: Trust me. I know when someone's acting when they're having sex.

MAYA: It's true. I've met his wife.

MCGEE: Tony and Ziva wouldn't....

TONY: (ON MONITOR) It's unusual for a man to like Love Story.

CUT TO:

INT. BALCONY - DAY

SHEPARD: How do I explain to the Director of the FBI that we're running an undercover op in his jurisdiction without informing him?

GIBBS: With a smile.

SHEPARD: It's not funny, Gibbs.

GIBBS: They had intel the two assassins were going to h*t a target at the Marine Corps birthday ball. Did you get that memo?

SHEPARD: No. Why didn't I think of that?

GIBBS: Because you're exhausted. I told you get some sleep, and do that before you take on the Director of the FBI.

SHEPARD: I can't, Jethro.

GIBBS: I can fix this.

SHEPARD: How?

GIBBS: You're not the only one around here who knows how to play politics.

SHEPARD: You're not serious? Your idea of politics usually involves some form of physical v*olence.

GIBBS: Well, you know what they say, Jen. You can't make an omelet unless you break a few eggs.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

MAYA: Are we free to go now?

FORNELL: Not yet. What the hell is NCIS doing at the Barclay, Gibbs?

GIBBS: Our job, Fornell.

FORNELL: Yeah? That involve jeopardizing our operation?

GIBBS: You're damn lucky we didn't blow these two away!

FORNELL: Which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't strayed into our jurisdiction!

GIBBS: Conference room. Now.

FORNELL: So anxious to play with the big boys.

GIBBS: Really? Big boys my ass.

(GIBBS AND FORNELL WALK TO THE ELEVATOR)

MCGEE: Yeah, this is going to be ugly.

MAYA: Oh, yeah. Fornell hasn't been this upset since...

YUSSIF: The last time we saw him.

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED)

FORNELL: Gum?

GIBBS: The big boys?

FORNELL: We really screwed this one up.

GIBBS: Oh, you think, Tobias?

FORNELL: The question is, how do we fix it without our Directors getting into a world class pissing match?

GIBBS: Joint op.

FORNELL: Who's lead?

GIBBS: My team's already in place.

FORNELL: Did you find out who hired them yet?

GIBBS: Not yet. Working on it.

FORNELL: I need more than that if I'm going to tap dance at the Hoover building, Jethro.

GIBBS: Give us twenty four hours, then we flip.

FORNELL: FBI gets operational control?

GIBBS: Yeah, and credit for the collar.

FORNELL: Agreed. The Directors get to save face and we...

GIBBS: Get the job done.

FORNELL: And people say we're bastards?

GIBBS: Only because they know us.

(FOURNELL CHUCKLES)

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

CHIP: I've got the IDs on the people in the restaurant who have invites to the Marine Corps Ball, Ma'am. Uh... Abby. Sorry.

ABBY: Make sure Tony and Ziva get them.

CHIP: Should I also check the restaurant staff, too?

ABBY: International assassins hired to take out a waiter.

CHIP: I was just trying to be thorough.

ABBY: No, it's good. Good instincts, Chip. Run 'em.

CHIP: Okay. Abby, can I ask you a question?

ABBY: Yes.

CHIP: Why don't you like Officer David?

ABBY: What makes you think I don't like her?

CHIP: I found this.

ABBY: Oh. That.

CHIP: Oh, I understand. I have the same problem with DiNozzo.

ABBY: Tony is a great guy. You just have to get to know him.

CHIP: Yeah, well you don't know him like I do.

ABBY: He always gives new people grief. He learned that from Gibbs. Okay, quiz time. What's your take on Sophie Ranier's blood test?

CHIP: Well, she's got elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin.

ABBY: Which means?

CHIP: She's pregnant?

ABBY: Good, Chip. She's pregnant.

GIBBS: Who's pregnant?

ABBY: Ziva. I mean, not Ziva, Ziva, but Sophie Ranier, our d*ad h*t girl. She's got a bun in the oven.

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

MAYA: Like what you see, Agent DiNozzo? The room's clean except for the listening devices we installed. We're free to talk.

TONY: Yeah, so you're the one who's been watching us?

MAYA: Oh, yeah. When this is over, we really should go out for drinks.

TONY: I'd like that.

ZIVA: I'm pregnant, Tony.

MAYA: Maybe some other time.

TONY: She... she was kidding.

ZIVA: Something wrong?

TONY: Thanks.

ZIVA: Oh, she's really not your type anyway.

TONY: Hot and in a maid's outfit? They don't get any more my type.(PHONE RINGS)

ZIVA: He's learning. Number's blocked.

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Talk to me.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) I've been told to negotiate a price commensurate with the risk.

(SCENE CUT)

TONY: (INTO PHONE) I'm listening.

MARCOS: (V.O./FILTERED) Not on the phone. Be in the lobby in exactly one hour.

(SCENE CUT)

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) A black Lincoln will be waiting out front. Make sure you're not followed.

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) In position, Boss.

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: Your people set, Tobias?

FORNELL: Got four unmarked vehicles standing by. We'll be able to follow them wherever they go.

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Tony, Ziva, get ready to roll. Hour's almost up.

(SCENE CUT)

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Roger that, Boss. (TO ZIVA) You haven't fired your w*apon, so it's already cleaned.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

ZIVA: It calms my mind. Forces me to stay focused at the job in my hand.

TONY: The term's "job at hand."

ZIVA: Same difference. Is something wrong?

TONY: Just trying to picture you pregnant.

ZIVA: Don't.

TONY: I have to. I'm going to be a father. It's a great responsibility.

ZIVA: Maybe it's not yours.

TONY: Maybe she didn't know.

ZIVA: Oh, she knew.

TONY: So why take this contract, put our unborn child in danger?

ZIVA: Perhaps we needed the money.

TONY: Kids are expensive.

ZIVA: b*ll*ts are cheap. There's a big chance this meeting is a set-up, Tony.

TONY: Are you scared?

ZIVA: Nope. Excited.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - DAY

MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) No sign of the Lincoln yet.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) That's a solid copy, McGee.

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) We're sending them down.

FORNELL: (INTO PHONE) All mobile units prepare to roll on my mark.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

SHEPARD: This reminds me of our op in the former Czech Republic.

GIBBS: You took a round in the thigh.

SHEPARD: I had the same bad feeling before that op, too.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

TONY: We're on our way to the elevator, Boss.

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Tony, Ziva....

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - DAY

GIBBS: We're not taking any chances on this one. First sign it goes bad you call it.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS)

TONY: Hold the door! Thanks.

HENRY: Sure.

TONY: Sweetheart.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOTEL - DAY

MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Okay, black Lincoln just pulled up.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - DAY

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, I got a visual on that, McGee.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

CHIP: I got a match! Abby!

CUT TO:

EXT. HOTEL - DAY

MCGEE: A man and a woman just got out. Heading into the hotel.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - DAY

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Car's leaving.

GIBBS: I can see that, McGee!

FORNELL: All units, hold your positions. That's not our Lincoln.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

CHIP: The waiter's got a warrant out on him.

ABBY: For what?

CHIP: m*rder.

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/HENRY PULLS OUT A g*n)

(MUSIC OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS)

HENRY: You're getting off here.

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

MARCOS: Not a wise choice, Mister and Mrs. Ranier. w*apon.

ZIVA: We would have come to the third floor ourselves. Three armed escorts seems a bit excessive.

MARCOS: Very good. Our location and our number in two sentences. It's too bad your friends can't hear you.

HENRY: You're being jammed.

MARCOS: Bring them to my room. If they resist? sh**t the woman.

HENRY: Come on, let's go.

CUT TO:

INT. MTAC - DAY

GIBBS: Tony, Ziva, do you copy? DiNozzo! I said, do you copy? McGee! What the hell is going on there?

MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Boss, they're not in their room. They never arrived in the lobby.

FORNELL: My teams have the entire outside of the building covered. They didn't leave the hotel, Gibbs.

SHEPARD: Last contact was at the elevator. That leaves eleven floors they could have gotten off at.

GIBBS: Eleven floors, McGee! How many rooms are we looking at?

MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Um... well if we don't count individual bathrooms and closets...

GIBBS: McGee!

MCGEE: (ON MONITOR) Two hundred, sixty four hotel rooms, twenty two utility rooms.

GIBBS: They haven't checked in because they can't.

SHEPARD: They're at the meet right now?

GIBBS: They removed their earwigs and they dumped their comm when it was changed to the hotel.

FORNELL: We go room by room. My people seal off the exterior...

SHEPARD: No! We wait.

FORNELL: What for?

SHEPARD: For Ziva to contact us. We move now, we blow their cover, Fornell.

FORNELL: And if their cover is already blown, Director?

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY

(SFX: HENRY SMASHES THE EAR PIECE)

MARCOS: There are two things you should be painfully aware of right now. One, no one leaves this business. And two, never thr*at the people who employ you.

TONY: Should I be writing this down?

(SFX: CORD HITS TONY)

TONY: I take that as a no.

MARCOS: Where is the disk?

ZIVA: What disk?

(SFX: CORD HITS TONY)

MARCOS: Where, Mrs. Ranier?

ZIVA: What makes you think we have it?

MARCOS: We spotted your backup at the restaurant. On some level, you must have known this was going to happen.

ZIVA: Oh. Observant. How much is our disk worth to you?

(SFX: CORD HITS TONY)

MARCOS: I have a better question. What's it worth to you?

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: It's bad news. It's very, very bad. Remember when we missed grabbing the guy in the restaurant?

GIBBS: Mm-hmm.

ABBY: Well, Tony said he didn't see anything. But the eye sees more than we think it does. It's the brain that misses stuff. It has to do with the f*ring of the optic nerve and the visual cortex's...

GIBBS: You found something from Tony's camera.

ABBY: Well, I went to the feed frame by frame. Now, Tony is looking at the pay phone because that's where he thinks the target is. But a camera doesn't think. It just records. So when he runs past the kitchen door of the restaurant, he got... this.

GIBBS: Our bad guy. Run it. I want a name.

ABBY: I do. I did. Marcos Ceasan. He's a contract assassin, Gibbs. He's wanted in more than five countries. It doesn't make any sense. Why would a k*ller hire other K*llers to do a h*t for him?

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY

MARCOS: Out of professional courtesy, I've had Mister Cord go lightly on your husband.

TONY: And I appreciate that.

MARCOS: Unfortunately we're running out of time.

ZIVA: If you let him go, I'll tell you where the disk is.

MARCOS: You'll tell me either way, Mrs. Ranier. Why don't you two take a moment and consider your options?

(MEN WALK O.S.)

TONY: I might have a plan.

ZIVA: What?

TONY: The Raniers obviously stole something they want. You're going to give it to them.

ZIVA: We don't have it.

TONY: You're going to tell them it's in our hotel room. The only way they'll find it is if you show them. McGee should be waiting for us in there.

ZIVA: Good plan, except for one minor drawback.

TONY: What?

ZIVA: When I leave, they'll most likely put a b*llet through your head.

TONY: Oh. Well, I didn't say it was a perfect plan.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Two centimeters below the supra orbital notch. What do you make of it, Mister Palmer? I originally assumed it was a spec of dirt on the exposure.

JIMMY: It appears to be a heart?

DUCKY: Yes. (CHUCKLES) A strange place to find one. Don't you agree? It appears to be gold surgically embedded in the conjunctive layer. Perhaps some type of body jewelry.

JIMMY: Jewelry embedded in an eye.

DUCKY: Oh, yes. You'd be amazed what people do to themselves. To Abby, please.

JIMMY: You know, I doubt anyone would notice your little gold heart unless they knew it was there. Staring into your eyes, face to face... like a lover.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: I found a chip in it.

CHIP: Flash memory embedded underneath, Sir. Five hundred megabyte capacity. Fifty MPS throughout.

ABBY: Translation, it contains the Raniers' personal data in two files. One has a list of numbered bank accounts, a deed for a restaurant, a house in Gilead, Maine.

CHIP: We also ran the address. The phone service and cable are scheduled to be turned on next week, Sir.

FORNELL: Sounds like a retirement plan.

GIBBS: She was pregnant. They were getting out of the business. What about the other file?

ABBY: It has a list of their clients: their names, addresses, phone numbers, all their information. Everything.

FORNELL: Insurance policy?

GIBBS: Their ticket out.

FORNELL: They weren't hired to make a h*t, Gibbs.

GIBBS: They are the h*t.

CUT TO:

INT. MARCOS' ROOM - DAY

MARCOS: Did you know the Peruvians make blades so sharp, some people can't even feel the initial incision?

TONY: Stop! The disk's in our hotel room.

ZIVA: Don't! He'll only use it...

MARCOS: Where?

TONY: She has to show you.

MARCOS: Not what I asked.

TONY: You'll never find it without her, even if you k*ll us.

MARCOS: Untie her.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

(PHONE RINGS)

HENRY: (INTO PHONE) I'm in position.

CUT TO:

INT. MARCOS' ROOM - DAY

MARCOS: (INTO PHONE) Clear the room. I'm on my way up with the girl.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

HENRY: (INTO PHONE) My pleasure.

(DOOR OPENS)

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY

(DOOR OPENS)

(MUSIC OVER ACTION)

CUT TO:

INT. MARCOS' ROOM - DAY

MARCOS: Your only mistake was going for one last big payday. You got greedy.

ZIVA: I'm pregnant.

MARCOS: Really? Congratulations. Boy or girl?

ZIVA: I don't know. We want to be surprised.

MARCOS: It's the best way, believe me. How many months?

TONY: Three!

MARCOS: Morning sickness?

TONY: Only every single day.

MARCOS: I hated to see my wife go through it, but believe me, it's all worth it in the end.

ZIVA: So you're not going to k*ll us?

MARCOS: We're assassins. You know we can't just walk away from the game when we feel like it. Hell, Don't you think I'd rather be at my daughter's fifth birthday than here?

TONY: So you are going to k*ll us? Right?

MARCOS: I haven't decided yet. Give me the disk and we'll see, play it by ear. (TO CORD) If I'm not back in five minutes, k*ll him.

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

CORD: That was purely for your wife's cooperation. We like to call them little white lies.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

MARCOS: Open it.

(DOOR OPENS)

CUT TO:

INT. TONY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

MARCOS: I hope you weren't counting on your backup, Mrs. Ranier.

ZIVA: He's not my back up.

(SFX: GIBBS HITS MARCOS)

GIBBS: Tony?

ZIVA: Third floor, room three five six.

FORNELL: (INTO RADIO) All teams, third floor, room three five six. (V.O.) Federal agent in distress.

(VOICE: (V.O./FILTERED) Copy. We're moving.)

CUT TO:

INT. MARCOS' HOTEL ROOM - DAY

TONY: You know what's funny? I was really looking forward to having a kid there for a minute. That's a big step for me. Having a little DiNozzo running around.

CORD: DiNozzo?

TONY: Yeah, that's my full name. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS.

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY FIGHTS CORD)

(SFX: CHAIR BREAKS)

TONY: How does that feel? Huh? Huh, big guy?(SFX: TONY CONTINUES BEATING CORD)

ZIVA: Enough!

TONY: You want to punch me again?! Come on!

ZIVA: Enough enough, Tony. I think you made your point.

TONY: I want a divorce.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: The emergency room seems to have done a pretty good job. How do you feel?

TONY: Better, now that I can breath.

DUCKY: There doesn't appear to be any permanent damage. How many times did he h*t you?

TONY: I wasn't counting.

ZIVA: Seven times.

TONY: She was, of course.

ZIVA: It was hard not to.

ABBY: We're going to take really good care of you, Tony. I had Chip pull your car right around front.

TONY: He drove my car?

CHIP: Just from your parking space. I took extra special care.

TONY: Oh, thanks.

ZIVA: And uh... I'm driving you home.

TONY: Probie...

MCGEE: Uh Ziva, actually you shouldn't probably drive him home tonight.

ZIVA: Why's that?

ABBY: Maybe he wants to live.

DUCKY: Yes, well however you get home, I suggest a couple of aspirin... yes, and perhaps some scotch.

GIBBS: I thought doctors weren't supposed to prescribe alcohol anymore, Duck.

DUCKY: Well, it always seems to work for you.

GIBBS: Did you get tickets to that gazelle thing again?

DUCKY: It's Giselle, Jethro. And no, that's not tonight. Marine Corps Birthday Ball. She didn't tell you?

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/SHEPARD WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS)

DUCKY: Our lovely Director has asked me to escort her.

TONY: All right, good night, Boss. All right, I'm good.(TONY STUMBLES)

ABBY: Hey Gibbs, happy birthday.

(MUSIC OVER ACTION)

GIBBS: I miss you guys. Semper fi.

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)
{"type": "series", "show": "NCIS", "episode": "03x08 - Under Covers"}