Sam: Telling you, Will, you got a real winner here. She's just gonna love it.

Will: Stacy, box her up. [A sheet of tissue paper rustles as Stacy pulls it off a pile.] Oh. Just the box. I'm sure it's prettier than the paper. [Stacy and Same smile as she hands Will the box. He opens it to reveal a ring with a large, square diamond and a few baguettes on the band.] One tiny rock. So many other cool things I could have bought for myself. [He touches the ring, shifting it from side to side in the box.] Sam, Stacy, it's been a pleasure being ripped off by you.

Sam: Such a nice boy. Too bad he's a handicap.

[Cut to the street. Will’s cane comes into view before he does. He navigates the two stairs in front of the store and works his way to the curb.]

Will: Excuse me. Thank you.

[Will pushes the button to get a walk signal. As he waits, noise builds around him, especially a loud beep that sounds like a truck backing up signal, highly amplified. He shakes his head and holds his hand to his ear. The sound continues to build. He becomes disoriented, drops his cane and stumbles into the street. Cars swirl around him and a siren is added to the auditory hallucination.]

[Will turns in a circle, narrowly avoiding being h*t by a car. One turns a corner and the driver slams on the brakes, stopping close enough for Will to touch the hood. He drops to his knees and half crawls to the curb where a young man helps him onto the sidewalk.]

Man: You all right, man? Take it easy, man! [Will claps both hands over his ears, trying to block out the escalating noise.] It's okay. It's okay.

OPENING CREDITS

[Cut to a black and white photograph of someone with the eyes cut out. The blue-eyed person looking through the holes holds the picture up like a mask.]

House: Kid's a blind diabetic. He's hyperglycemic hyperosmolar.

[Cut to Diagnostics. Park and Adams are eating. Taub and Chase aren’t. House is on the speakerphone.]

Adams: Which is what we thought until his blood tests showed a controlled sugar level and no ketones.

Park: It could be caused by drug abuse.

Taub: His tox screens were clean.

House: [voice] You lying sack of crap.

Taub: I have them right in front of me.

House: Not you. This time. My former BFF. [He looks over the balcony railing at the hospital lobby. Wilson and a woman are walking in.] He's S-M-I-T-B-A-W-S. s*ab me in the back as we speak.

[Intercut between House and the team.]

Adams: Where exactly are you?

[Wilson rings for the elevator.]

House: If anyone should happen to ask, I'm in an out-of-state medical conference until further notice.

Adams: Why would any—

Chase: And… don't really care. Auditory hallucinations and disorientation could be signs of schizophrenia.

Taub: They did a psych consult. Mental status is normal.

Park: Seizure, noise-induced epilepsy — the sound of rush hour traffic could have set it off.

House: Run an E.E.G. Blast his brain with harmonics to find out. Also, if anyone should further happen to ask, I spent the whole last year in Africa with Doctors Without Boundaries.

Adams: Who are you hiding from?

House: Evil. [He takes a Vicodin.]

[Cut to Diagnostics. Wilson and Blythe House enter.]

Wilson: Where's House?

Taub: Uh, he's at an out-of-state medical conference. In Baltimore, I think.

[There’s a pause as the whole team stares at Blythe.]

Blythe: Nice to meet you. I'm Blythe, his mother.

[Cut to Will’s room. Melissa, a very pretty young woman is there. She strokes his face.]

Melissa: Do you want me to pick up the Braille writer and laptop from your apartment?

Will: I don't plan on being here that long. I didn't eat lunch yesterday. I probably just fainted.

Park: [entering] Or had an epileptic seizure.

Chase: [closing the door behind him] Which is only one possibility. I'm Doctor Chase. Uh, we'd like to discuss your case with you privately.

Melissa: I'm his girlfriend. Is it all right if I stay for this?

Will: Melissa can stay. And I've never had a seizure before in my life.

Chase: They can be mild. Like a loss of concentration or a muscle tremor.

Park: A lot of times a family member notices before the patient does. I'm Doctor Park, by the way. I'm 5'2", Asian, and I'm totally cool with it if you wanna feel my face.

Melissa: Blind people only do that in movies.

Will: But you sound nice, so if you want me to…

Chase: Her point was, you may not have realized you were having a seizure, but maybe your girlfriend has?

Melissa: No. But I-I haven't seen him for the last five months. We were on a break.

Will: Like Rachel and Ross on Friends. Never seen the show myself, but I hear it's good. That joke usually kills my blind friends.

Melissa: Will, this is serious.

Will: No, it's not. Since I don't have epilepsy. [to Chase and Park] I have to pay attention to every signal my body sends or receives. Or I end up taking a dirt nap. You don't think I'd know if I was having seizures? It's probably just low blood sugar.

Chase: If that's true, then you shouldn't have a problem passing our test.

[Cut to the cafeteria. Wilson and Blythe are having lunch.]

Blythe: How is he, James, really?

Wilson: He's better than I've seen him in a long time.

Blythe: Is he happy?

Wilson: Uh…

Blythe: It's okay. He's always been a complicated child.

Wilson: Were you in the hospital recently?

[He notices the hospital ID bracelet on her left arm.]

Blythe: Oh, nothing serious. I just had a few moles removed yesterday and forgot I even had it on. [She puts her purse in her lap and looks for something inside. In the process, she shifts a book with “Dealing…Terminal…” on the back cover.] Look, if Greg happens to get back early from the conference, I'm staying at a hotel in town for the next three days. [She hands him a business card.] I would like him to call me.

Wilson: I will pass it on.

Blythe: Thank you. Um, do you think that they would mind if I got a refill for the road? [She holds up her soda cup.]

Wilson: Not at all.

Blythe: Good.

[She goes back to the counter. Wilson takes the opportunity to look at the book in her bag. The title is “Dealing with Your Terminal Cancer.”]

[Cut to the audiology lab. Will sits in a chair with ear buds in. Electrodes go from various places on his head to the headset. Adams and Taub watch from the adjoining room as various notes play.]

Adams: Not seeing any seizure activity in response to low frequency sounds. I'm starting him on mid-range.

Taub: Have you seen his girlfriend? Extremely hot.

Adams: Blind people can't have attractive girlfriends?

Taub: Not my point. He actually convinced her to go for the whole relationship break thing.

Adams: How do you know it wasn't her idea?

Taub: Because she's back with him. Women suggest a break when they wanna break up. Men do it because they wanna have sex with other women before they settle down.

Adams: They're a little young to get married, don't you think?

Taub: I was their age when I did. [She gives him a look.] I see your point.

[She sits up straight, looking at Will who is gagging and holding his throat.]

Adams: He's seizing. Sound frequency's at 300 hertz.

Taub: It's not a seizure. He's not spiking on his E.E.G.

[They rush into the treatment room.]

Taub: He's not moving air. I think he's choking on something.

[He holds Will’s mouth open while Adams peers in with a flashlight.]

Adams: Blood. I don't see any blockage.

Taub: Help me move him.

[They get Will to his feet and Taub Heimlichs him. The blockage shifts and Will loudly gulps in some air, blood drooling from his mouth.]

Adams: Just relax and breathe.

[Taub goes to the object and picks it up. It’s a bloody molar. Will retches into his hand and uses his other hand to feel the other teeth he just spat out.]

Will: What-what are these?

**

[Cut to radiology viewing room. The team is there, viewing films of Will’s head. House isn’t.]

Taub: Three teeth detached from his jawbone and lodged in his throat. He almost choked to death on them.

Chase: Environmental? Could be heavy metal poisoning or radiation exposure.

Taub: Then he wouldn't be the only one. He's an accountant who works on the same floor with 50 other people.

Park: Maybe his girlfriend poisoned him. [The others stare at her.] House usually thinks that's a good guess. And she's gotta be pissed off and have low self-esteem. Why else would she give him a free pass to pork other women?

House: [voice] Because he's handicapped. Women feel sorry for us. This cane is tail bait.

Adams: Where are you now?

Chase: Expect an actual answer this time?

Dominika: [voice] Hi, guys. Was wondering if House's mother left yet. He won't let me go to our hous—

House: [voice] It's not environmental, it's periodontitis.

Chase: An oral infection doesn't explain his disorientation and auditory hallucinations.

[There’s the sound of several children laughing wherever House is.]

House: [voice] They're laughing because they know diabetes exacerbates the condition.

Taub: It could progress to a systemic disease. The bacteria spread and affect other organs.

House: [voice] Like his brain. Start him on broad-spectrum antibiotics and book him an appointment with a periodontist.

[Adams disconnects the phone.]

Park: He has fake children now, too?

[Cut to a hospital playroom. House and Dominika are playing a video game. Several children, in pajamas or hospital gowns, are behind them.]

Dominika: You think I'm not good enough for your mother.

House: Not in front of the kids, honey. [A girl hands him a picture she drew. He studies it.] Hey, add a couple of flies, toss in a d*ad goat or two, we might have a winner. [She nods and takes the picture back as Wilson approaches.] She gone?

Wilson: Yeah. We really need to talk.

House: Okay. [He puts down the video controller, stands and addresses the kids.] Crayons down. Line up if you wanna get paid. [The children, each carrying a drawing, move toward House who gives each one a dollar.] [to Wilson] It's the only time I ever successfully lie to my mom; is through the elaborate preparations and props.

[Wilson looks at one of the pictures. It has “Africa” at the top. Below that are two palm trees, a giraffe and a hut. In front of them is a man with green pants, a white jacket and a cane. He is “Doctor House.” One boy adds his picture to the pile. House pays him automatically then picks up the picture.]

House: Hey, hey, hey. I said no Transformers, Slick. [He grabs the dollar bill from the boy.] [to Dominika] Stay here until the coast is clear.

[He gathers his props and follows Wilson.]

Dominika; [still playing the video game] Fine. But you sleep on couch tonight.

[Cut to the hallway.]

Wilson: You sleeping with her now?

House: Just in case an I.N.S. guy comes in through the window.

Wilson: Oh.

House: Yeah, she didn't buy it either.

Wilson: You need to talk to your mother.

House: When I'm ready. Still need to get a fake passport, doctored photos, maybe a case of AIDS.

Wilson: She's sick, House.

[House stops and stares at Wilson, shocked.]

House: Did she say that?

Wilson: She was wearing a hospital admission bracelet and carrying around a book on dealing with terminal cancer. [House thinks.] I'm sorry. [House dumps the children’s pictures in the trash.] She's staying at the Grand for the next three days.

[He hands House the card Blythe gave him and leaves. House stands there, holding the card.]

[Cut to Will’s room. Park hangs an IV bag.]

Park: The antibiotics will stop the infection from spreading further.

Taub: And I'll spare you the lecture you'll get from the periodontist tomorrow, but you need to practice better oral hygiene.

Will: So are you guys saying this is happening because, what, I didn't floss enough?

Park: Probably didn't help, but diabetics are prone to this type of infection.

Melissa: [indulgently] Half the time, he doesn't even bother getting undressed before he goes to bed. Can only imagine how many times you've skipped brushing your teeth since we—[Will turns away.] Sorry. I don't mean to lecture you, babe.

Will: Well, I guess you're right. Look, you haven't eaten anything all day. Why don't you go grab a bite? I'll be fine.

Melissa: All right, well, I'll see you in an hour, okay?

Will: Not if I see you first. [She smiles, grabs her coat and leaves. Will talks to Taub and Park.] I was wondering if I could ask you guys for a favor. I really need my laptop and Braille writer, and I can't ask Melissa to get them for me.

Taub: Why not?

Will: Because… [reaches under his pillow and pulls out the ring box] I want you to put this someplace safe.

[Park grabs the box and opens it.]

Park: It's beautiful.

Will: People always say diamonds are beautiful. But to me they just feel cold. They have really sharp edges.

Park: I guess convincing her to take a break was a good thing.

Will: Well, the break was her idea. Melissa's the only girl I've ever dated. She wanted me to be sure before we… took the next step.

Taub: Wow.

Will: Yeah.

[Cut to the ring box being placed on a closet shelf next to a collapsible cane. Taub is checking the clothing in the closet.]

Park: What are you doing?

Taub: We're here. We might as well search the place in case we're wrong about periodontitis. [Park goes to the kitchen. Taub follows.] What are you doing?

[She pulls a spoon from a drawer and opens the half gallon of “Pattow” ice cream she took from the freezer.]

Park: We're here. Might as well eat.

Taub: You're stealing food from a blind man?

Park: We're doing him a favor. He owes me.

[She takes a jar of Gummi bears from the cupboard.]

Taub: I take it from your low self-esteem theory you have some experience with relationship breaks? [She gives him a look.] What happened?

Park: He talked me into it, then… slept with three of my friends. Then dumped my ass. College boyfriend. Thought he was the love of my life.

Taub: Then why agree to a break?

Park: My self-esteem wasn't as high back then.

Taub: No one's is.

Park: Ugh! [She races to the sink and spits it out.] Sugar free! [She drinks from the tap.] Ugh. Disgusting.

Taub: I'll check the bathroom. You keep checking the snacks,

[Cut to House. He’s in the hotel hallway. He sighs and raises his fist to knock on the door, exhales and walks away. He stops, takes his cane and uses it to knock twice before he can lose his courage again. Blythe answers, wearing a hotel terry cloth robe. She stops smiling when she sees who it is.]

Blythe: Greg.

[He walks past her, into the room.]

House: Sorry I didn't call first. I just flew back from my conference.

[She closes the door and comes after him. She is unsettled. She takes her bra off the back of a chair and puts it in the pocket of her robe.]

Blythe: Um, this—this really isn't, uh—

House: I need your medical records and the name of your primary physician.

[He’s not making eye contact with her. There’s the sound of movement to the right, where House is looking. Cut to a gray-haired man jumping into the bed. House stares. He is clearly shocked.]

Blythe: Well, you remember Mr. Bell.

[House closes his eyes in a very long, slow blink.]

House: Well, if I didn't, I will now. [minor epiphany] You're not dying?

Blythe: I, uh… I may have misled James by letting him see a book on cancer.

Thomas: [We did, however, have some expectations that you might call first.

[Thomas has a very thick Scottish accent. Blythe crosses to him and holds his hand. His other hand keeps the bedcovers up near his neck.]

Blythe: Yeah. This isn't how I envisioned you finding out. Mr. Bell and I, we're…

House: Having sex. Got it.

Thomas: Getting married. Also.

Blythe: We wanted you to be the first to know.

[An alarm beeps. Cut to Will’s room. He’s having a seizure. A nurse is holding him. Chase and Adams enter.]

Chase: I need 10 milligrams of benzodiazepine.

Adams: Help me hold him down.

[The nurse gives Chase a syringe, which he injects in Will’s IV. Adams begins to suction Will to keep him from choking.]

**

[Cut to Diagnostics. House is in the corner, on the sofa. His eyes are closed and his head is back. Chase, Taub and Park are at the table. Adams has the whiteboard, which currently lists auditory hall., seizures, diabetes?, epilepsy, disorientation & tooth loss.]

Adams: I'm putting epilepsy back on the table.

Chase: And I'm taking it off because it doesn't explain losing his teeth.

Taub: The kid's diabetic. The periodontitis could be real but completely unrelated.

Chase: Coincidence. Buying that, House?

House: Until I hear something that takes my mind off the Jurassic schlong that I was traumatized by this afternoon.

Park: I know what's wrong with the patient. Illegal drugs. Some kind of acid.

Taub: His tox screens were clean.

Park: His apartment wasn't.

Taub: [surprised] We didn't find any drugs.

Park: Then why am I completely tripping balls right now? I'm seriously freaking out here, guys. Can't you tell? [There’s nothing to see. She’s behaving normally, for her.]

Chase: You pretty much look the same as you always do.

[House comes over.]

House: Take your glasses off. Pupils dilated… Pulse elevated. Hallucinating?

Park: I think so, because… he's a rabbit.

[Chase is lounging on the bar. He’s dressed in a lab coat, shirt and tie, but his face, hands and feet are furry. He has rabbit ears and is holding a huge carrot. He twirls the carrot and takes a bite. Park continues to stare as Chase reverts to his human form. He leans against, not on, the bar, drinking a coffee. Slinky carnival music plays as Jessica Rabbit Adams sashays toward her from the windows. She, too, has rabbit ears. Her long, auburn hair curls past her shoulders. She’s wearing black opera gloves and a white satin dress slit to her crotch. He bust has tripled in size.]

Park: Oh, I get it. Because she's his wife. [She holds her hand to the corner of her mouth and stage whispers, confidentially, to House.] They flirt a lot. I've seen things.

[House looks toward Adams, puzzled. Park turns and studies the next member of the team.]

Park: Mm, Taub— Taub is either… a tooth fairy or… Rainbow Brite.

[Taub is wearing a purple tutu and stockings with black slippers which lace up his calves. He has wings and an illuminated wand. He is several feet off the ground. He flies over and, when she identifies his outfit, he points his finger at her — bing — you’re right.]

Park: And you… [laughs] you're just House.

[House looks exactly the same.]

Taub: She ate ice cream and Gummi Bears at the patient's apartment. One of 'em must have been dosed with it.

House: Go back and find the drugs. You two, find out where he bought them, and then MRI his brain. Check for infections, masses, and plaques.

Park: [worried, staring at her hands] Am I gonna die?

House: We'll get back to you on that.

[They leave her alone.]

[Cut to Will’s room.]

Will: I've been blind since birth. I thought maybe if I tried LSD, I might, you know… Colors… a shape. I just-I just wanted to see something.

Chase: How many times?

Will: Maybe five or six.

Chase: We need to know where you bought it so we can find out what was in it.

Will: My girlfriend gave it to me.

Adams: I'll find her. [starts to leave]

Will: No, don't. It-it wasn't Melissa. I met someone else.

Adams: When were you planning on telling her that, before or after you ask her to marry you?

Will: The ring isn't for her. We were on a break. She wanted me to see what else was out there, and I did. I was gonna tell her the other night, but I ended up here instead.

Chase: We just need to talk to the one who supplied the drugs.

Will: She's on vacation with her parents. This is her cell. [He pulls up her number on his Braille writer. Chase copies it.] I don't want her to know I'm in the hospital. She'll only freak out.

Adams: [sarcastic] That's very considerate of you.

Will: You think this is easy for me. I know I have to tell Melissa.

Adams: Well, what's stopping you?

Will: She's still one of my best friends. And I don't want to be alone in here.

[Cut to Park. She’s in House’s Eames chair, covered with a lab coat as a blanket. She looks scared. Wilson enters.]

Wilson: Have you seen your mother yet?

House: [taking notes from his computer screen] She's not dying. She was having sex with my father. [Park snorts a laugh.] Ignore her. She's on acid.

Wilson: Your father's d*ad, House.

House: Not the d*ad dad, the biological dad. The one I pointed out to you at fake father's funeral. [Thomas does look a bit like Sean Connery, if you squint.]

Wilson: Huh. Are you sure? Your only evidence is that birthmark you saw when you were 12.

House: Well, now I've seen two. Good news is, I won't technically be a bastard much longer. We're gonna be one big, crappy family.

Wilson: Well, that's-that's great news. Your mother won't be alone anymore, and you can finally get to know the guy.

House: Yes, that is one option. [His tone says otherwise.]

Wilson: Are you saying you're not even curious? You want to know what I think?

House: I think you know the answer to that question.

Wilson: You avoid your mother because she's the one person whose opinion you actually care about.

House: If that was true, you'd have every reason to shut up. I avoid my mother because she's boring.

Wilson: That's why you've been so open and honest about prison and marrying a complete stranger.

House: Even if I care what she thinks, why would I care what some sperm donor does?

Wilson: You read the guy's book about three times.

House: Years ago. It took three times because it was so badly written.

Park: [laughs] Oh, I get it. The second birthmark was on his penis, right?

[That stops the conversation.]

[Cut to MRI. Adams is observing Will. Chase joins her.]

Adams: He's a dick.

Chase: You've been working for House for months and just now realized that disabled people can also be dicks?

Adams: What he's doing now to that girl isn't fair.

Chase: The break was her idea.

Adams: And now she thinks they're back together.

Chase: He's a scared, sick, blind kid who doesn't want to be alone. You really don't get that?

Adams: I do, but…

[She sees something on the screen. Chase leans forward to look.]

Chase: What is it?

Adams: Not good news for him… or Park.

**

[Cut to radiology. House enters and looks at the MRI results that are on the wall.]

Adams: Where's Park?

House: Wilson's babysitting her. Talking about the fact that she could have permanent brain damage might bum her trip out a little bit.

Chase: A dark spot doesn't necessarily equal brain damage. It could be a congenital malformation connected with his blindness or a tumor.

House: A clot.

Chase: Exactly. We need to do another scan, but inject dye and figure out—

House: I said "a clot," not "or a clot." It's a clot. Cerebral venous sinus thrombosis.

Adams: Good news for Park. I've never seen one present this large before.

Taub: It fits. When it was smaller, it caused his initial disorientation and hallucinations. As it grew larger, the seizures.

Chase: If left untreated, it leads to cerebral edema and death. But what causes that and tooth loss?

Adams: Any hyper-coagulable state. Lupus?

House: I counter your lupus with Behcet's syndrome.

Taub: No, he doesn't have any of the earlier symptoms — color blindness, abnormal visual fields or— We've been ignoring his eyes because he's blind.

House: Well, if he wasn't before, he would be by now. Confirm with an eye exam, start treatment with heparin for the clot. Interferon and steroids for the Behcet's.

[Cut to House’s office. A book sails across the room and h*t’s Wilson who tries to fend it off. Park throws another and another, picking up everything from the conference table and hurling those items as well.]

Wilson: No, no!

Park: Give me back my teeth!

Wilson: Park, listen. Park—

Park: You're a tooth thief!

Wilson: No, no, no. Stop it, stop it! Ki-ki-ki! Back on the couch.

[He picks up a chair and uses it as a combination shield and lion tamer’s stool as he tries to back Park up. Blythe and Thomas enter.]

Blythe: What are you doing to this poor girl?

Wilson: It's not what it looks like. She— Oh! [She h*t him with a pillow.] She's tripping on acid.

Thomas: Good lord, man, that's no way to treat a bad trip. Put the chair down. You'll end up hurting the poor wee thing. There you are. [Wilson puts the chair down. Thomas walks slowly and calmly toward Park.] Hello, darlin'. I'm Thomas, and this beautiful creature here is Blythe. Is there anything we can do to help you?

Park: [standing on the couch] That rabbit stole my teeth.

Thomas: Of course he did, but I'll tell you what he's done. He's put them back again, and they're twice as nice as they used to be. You can feel them if you like. [She does, tentatively.] See? Now, why don't we sit on this nice comfy couch, have a nice cool drink and talk all about it. Would you like that?

[Park nods and sits. She looks scared.]

Blythe: [to Wilson] He's had some experience with things like this, back in the day.

Thomas: As I recall, both of us—

Blythe: Uh, not the time or the place, dear.

Thomas: There you are. See? There you are.

Wilson: There's no way that guy's related to you. [leaves]

[Cut to a view of Will’s eye. Chase stands up and turns off the flashlight.]

Chase: There's fresh scarring and swelling in both fundi, and a bleed on the left. House was right. It's Behcet's syndrome.

Will: Give it to me straight, Doc. Am I ever gonna see again?

Chase: That's a little out of our jurisdiction. We need to wrap a dressing over your eyes to keep the light out.

Will: It’s not really a problem for me.

Chase: You might not see it, but your tissue does. It'll also help with the swelling. I'll leave you in Dr. Adams' capable hands. [leaves]

Will: You think I'm an ass, don't you? I can tell by your breathing. Either you're angry or fat.

Adams: [applying the bandage to Will’s eyes] I think it's unfair that you're leading on a woman who obviously loves and cares about you.

Will: I love and care about her too. But we just don't work together as a couple.

Adams: You need to tell her that.

Will: I'm going to. But I just want to do it the right way. I don't want her to hate me.

Adams: When she finds out you bought an engagement ring for another woman, that option is out the window.

Will: It was gonna be for her.

Adams: What changed?

Will: She told me we were going on a break. I didn't even get a say in the matter.

Adams: She wanted you to be sure about your relationship. I can see how that would be annoying.

Will: I think I liked it better when you were just breathing angrily. She still sees me as the same sheltered, blind geek she met in college. Most of the time she acts more like my mother than my girlfriend. I asked her to marry me. She tells me I need to date somebody else first. I'd rather she just dumped me. At least that I can understand.

Adams: So you were hurt so much you had to marry the next woman you met?

Will: Julie doesn't see me as I was, but for who I am now. She trusts me to make my own decisions and to help her with hers. For the first time in my life, I have somebody who needs me… instead of the other way around.

[Adams considers this.]

[Cut to House’s office. Blythe is tucking a blanket around Park who has fallen asleep on the Eames chair. House enters.]

Blythe: Ah, she finally fell asleep. I think she'll be fine in a couple of hours.

House: How do you know about handling a bad acid trip? Friends in your gardening club been experimenting again?

Blythe: I was young once. [There is laughter from the conference room. Thomas is in there with Wilson looking at a book.] A little scrapbook that Thomas threw together. He even has a couple of pictures of you as a child.

[Picture of young Greg dressed as a cowboy, brandishing a six-sh**t.]

Thomas: And I've known Greg almost since he was born, you know. His father and I were like brothers. I was a Navy chaplain in those days. I left the service in the late '60s. I don't think his dad ever forgave me for protesting the w*r. [He turns the page. There’s a picture of young Thomas and Blythe at a protest rally.] Of course, if he knew I'd got Blythe involved…

House: You protested the w*r? When?

Blythe: You were a child. I didn't share my entire schedule with you.

Thomas: Well we knew if we told you, you'd tell him, and he'd k*ll us both. He was a marine. It was the ultimate betrayal.

House: Penultimate.

Blythe: Sweetheart, I think we need to get back to the hotel.

[Thomas stands and shakes hands with Wilson.]

Thomas: Wilson, it's been a real pleasure. [He turns to Greg who pointedly does not take his hand.] You're right. Much too formal. Come here, lad. [He pulls House into a hug and pats his back a couple of times. House stands there, impassive.] We're practically family now.

Blythe: We'll see you boys tonight.

Wilson: 8:00 sharp. [They leave. House stares at Wilson, totally confused about everything that’s been going on.] I invited them out to dinner. Told them it was your idea.

[Cut to Will’s room. Melissa holds a drink for him.]

Melissa: Straw. I know we agreed that whatever happened on break would stay on break, and I don't expect you to talk about yours. But I just want you to know that there was no one else. [Will clears his throat.] I missed you so much, I barely even saw my own friends. I'm just so glad it's finally over. [Will coughs a couple of times with his mouth closed.] Are you okay? [He opens his mouth and coughs blood. A nurse enters and pulls on gloves.] What's happening to him?

Melissa: Is he going to be okay?

Taub: I'm going to need to discuss that with my colleagues.

Will: We have to talk.

Melissa: No, you need to rest.

Will: I have to tell you about… about what happened on break.

Melissa: Later. You just lie back and relax—

Will: Stop it, Melissa! Just stop telling me what I need, and listen for once, okay?

[She talks to him like he’s a child and looks startled at his outburst. Taub leaves.]

[Cut to the hall. Adams, Chase and Taub are all at the nurses’ station outside Will’s room. Park and House approach.]

Adams: How are you feeling?

Park: Embarrassed. I'm still not sure what was real or what I hallucinated. Did you try to kiss me? [Adams shakes her head.] What about you? [Chase frowns.]

Taub: He's s*ab for the moment.

Adams: Coughing up blood. That doesn't really change anything. Hemoptysis is a symptom of Behcet's.

Taub: Except our treatment should make him better, not worse.

Park: It could be doing both. Our treatment breaks down his clot in his head, like it's supposed to, except a piece broke off and traveled to one of his arteries in his lungs. If anything, we need to increase the heparin to prevent further clots from forming.

Adams: If we do that and he starts hemorrhaging, we won't be able to stop the bleeding.

House: If we don't do that, the next clot could cause a heart att*ck or a stroke. Park's way, he at least has a sh*t at living. CT his lungs to confirm, and up the dose.

[The door to Will’s room opens and Melissa comes out. She’s carrying her coat and she walks past the doctors very quickly.]

Taub: She's young and hot. She'll bounce back.

Park: Eighty-two pounds. [They all look at her.] How much weight I put on when my break ended the same way. People were calling me Park-ing-lot.

[Cut to the restaurant. Wilson, Blythe and Thomas are eating.]

Thomas: Hmm… Almost 9:00. I think your boy is gonna stand us up.

Blythe: No, no, he'll be here.

Thomas: Practically walked in on us having sex. God, if I saw my mother doing that, I'd claw my own eyes out. Of course, she was nowhere near as attractive as you. Horribly fat, as a matter of fact.

[House enters with Dominika. Wilson’s jaw drops and stays that way.]

House: Mother… Guy sleeping with my mother, this is Dominika, my wife.

Dominika: It's so nice to be meeting you. And Gregory tells me that you were born in Richmond, Virginia, and your father was a tailor who stole from his clients.

House: James has persuaded me of the value of openness and honesty in relationships.

[Blythe and Thomas look at Wilson who looks uncomfortable.]

[Cut to CT lab. Chase and Adams are in the observation room.]

Adams: We see people with disabilities all the time, but… seeing and understanding aren't always the same thing.

Chase: [looks around to see who else is there] Are you talking to me or writing a Facebook post?

Adams: I'm saying we should have picked up on the degeneration in his eyes sooner. We ignored them because we assumed they weren't even part of the equation. I also realized, intellectually, I may understand what it means to be disabled, but emotionally, I didn't have a clue. Apparently, his girlfriend didn't either.

Chase: So you're back on his side?

Adams: It's not a side. It's a perspective. He just wants to be treated like an adult, make his own decisions. I may not agree with all of them, but how the hell can I judge him?

Chase: I'm sure that's exactly what disabled people want, to be treated like completely foreign entities, incapable of being judged and understood. [looks at the monitor] Park was right about the clot. Hopefully the anticoagulants keep it from k*lling him.

House: So… she gets the couch on the odd nights, and I get the bed on evens. In exchange for a federal felony, she gets a green card, and I get a live-in maid. [He smiles.]

Thomas: Good for you. The immigration policy in this country is a travesty. It forces people to lie just so nice people can stay here.

Dominika: Thank you… Dad.

House: I'm grateful you approve. [He hunches his shoulders slightly as he steels himself for this next one] You should also know that I was not in Africa the last year.

[Wilson looks surprised at this admission.]

Blythe: [nods] You were in jail. [House looks shocked.] I've been reading the Princeton police blotter ever since you moved here. [Wilson’s surprise turns to admiration as he realizes he underestimated Blythe.] And I'm afraid I haven't been truthful with you either. And I've wanted to tell you this for a very long time. Thomas and I… we got married two months after your father passed away.

House: [uninterested] Uh-huh.

Thomas: You understand, we didn't want you to think we were disrespecting the memory of your father.

[Wilson is watching like he’s at a tennis match, his eyes flitting back and forth between the speakers.]

House: And… is there another secret that you want to share with me?

Blythe: [looks fondly at Thomas] No.

House: There's nothing you think might be relevant to my life?

Thomas: Like… what?

House: I don't know. Just off the top of my head, something like I DNA-tested my dad and found that he was not my biological father — you are.

Thomas: [laughs] That's impossible.

House: People lie. Birthmarks don't.

[He stands up and unbuckles his belt. Dominika looks delighted, Wilson looks exhausted. There’s the sound of House’s fly being unzipped.]

Thomas: [looking] Oh, my God! You told me he was a premie. This bloody lunatic is my son!

Blythe: He's not a lunatic.

[House buckles his belt and sits down.]

Thomas: All those years you could have told me. I could have done things. That could have made a difference in the boy's life.

Wilson: I think we should all just calm down.

Thomas: Look at him sitting there — a pill-popping sociopath! If you wanted to screw up his life, you couldn't have done it better.

House: He's got you there, mom.

Blythe: He's one of the most well-respected doctors in the world. He's saved more lives than you can count. Now, you apologize to him, or I swear, you will never see me again, Thomas.

Thomas: I can't deal with this anymore. He's my son? I'm having a bloody breath of fresh air, that's what I'm doing. [leaves]

House: So, who's for dessert?

[Dominika raises her hand tentatively.]

[Cut to Will’s room. He’s yelling and throwing his head back and forth.]

Will: Somebody help me! Uhh! Somebody—

Adams: [entering] Will? It's Dr. Adams and Dr. Chase. We just need to know—

Will: My eyes! My eyes! It feels like it's on f*re!

Chase: It's not Behcet's. It doesn't necrotize tissue like this. I think it's streptococcus pyogenes.

Adams: Except we've already treated him with broad-spectrum antibiotics. It shouldn't be spreading. It should be dying.

Chase: Just means it's drug-resistant. We need to remove what's left of his eyes before the gangrene sets in.

[They reach the lab, where Taub and Park are running tests.]

Adams: It's something that looks and acts like a bacteria but isn't one. Could be viral.

Taub: No, it couldn't. No evidence of viral markers in the necrotized tissue.

House: Let me see that image you took last night of the clot in his lung. [Taub turns a portable light box toward House and turns it on.] That's not a piece of the clot from his brain. That's the point of infection. Mucormycosis. He breathed in the spores, it's been growing and spreading ever since.

Chase: A fungal infection spreading this fast?

House: Kid's a diabetic. He already has a compromised immune system.

Park: He's right. This sample from his eyes is crawling with it.

House: Treat with amphotericin B.

Adams: We treated him with gentamicin when we thought it was bacterial, which means the dose of amphotericin B we'll need to cure him will probably leave him deaf.

House: Sorry, I stopped listening after you said "the dose we'll need to cure him."

[Cut to Will’s room. Adams just told him the news.]

Will: Blind and deaf? I'd rather be d*ad.

Adams: You will be.

Will: I can live with that. You never did get my humor.

Adams: There's a chance your hearing won't be completely gone.

Will: How much of a chance?

Adams: A small one. But a chance.

Will: I'm-I'm refusing treatment. You don't know how hard things are already for me. I can't handle any more. I can't.

[Cut to House’s office. Thomas is waiting by the window when House enters.]

Thomas: Oh, hi. I'm here to apologize. I could have handled the news with more… aplomb? I have a son. That's great news.

House: What else did she tell you to say?

Thomas: You're not a lunatic, you're not a mistake.

House: I never liked your friend… my father.

Thomas: Well, he could be a bit intense at times.

House: But unlike you, I did respect him.

Thomas: Do you respect your mother? [House pauses, then drops his head, refusing to make eye contact.] Well, we do have that in common. And we all love her. So we don't have much choice, do we? Son, see you at dinner. [leaves]

Melissa: Will, it's me.

Will: Let me guess. The doctor who thinks I'm an ass wants you to convince me to live.

Melissa: Yes.

Will: It won't work.

Melissa: I know. So I won't.

Will: Wow. You're that angry?

Melissa: I've made enough decisions for you. This is your life.

Will: Why'd you come back?

Melissa: Because I love you. And I want to be with you for as long as I can.

Will: Melissa, I'm so scared.

[She moves from the doorway to his bedside and takes his hand.]

Melissa: Me too. I'll always love you.

Will: Even if I was deaf?

Melissa: Even if anything.

[Cut to Will’s room, the next morning.]

Melissa: Is it working?

Adams: He's still very ill, but if he keeps responding the way he has been, he should be fine.

Melissa: And his hearing?

Adams: It's gone. We don't know yet if it'll be permanent.

[Melissa takes Will’s hand.]

Melissa: Melissa? Is that you?

Adams: We've been squeezing his hand, once for yes, twice for no.

[Melissa squeezes Will’s hand.]

Will: Can I ask you something? I completely understand if you squeeze no. Wh-will you marry me? [Her eyes widen. She takes both hands off his and steps back from the bed.] Don't leave me hanging, now.

Melissa: Yes. Yes! Of course, yes!

Will: I-I heard that. You said yes, right?

Melissa: Yes!

Will: You said ye...

[Cut to Wilson’s office. He’s doing paperwork. House enters.]

House: How long are you gonna wait until you tell me?

Wilson: I thought we already had the Santa Claus talk.

House: You don't think I saw you steal Thomas' fork from the restaurant?

Wilson: Why would I do that?

House: For his DNA.

Wilson: That's… that's… [gives up trying to bluff] very observant of you.

House: See, you're more me than you pretend. You had to know for sure. So you needed proof. The fact that you haven't told me can only mean…

Wilson: He isn't your father either. I'm sorry.

[Apparently birth marks do lie.]

House: You know what that means.

Wilson: Your mom's a slut.

House: That… and… she's not as boring as I thought she was.
{"type": "series", "show": "House", "episode": "08x14 - Love Is Blind"}