[ Apartment ]

Roscoe (voice trembling): Police, please. Hello? Yes. I know who did it. Who did it all. I figured it out. ( Hissing ) No. No, I can't speak up. They might hear me. Oh, no. Oh, no. Listen. Listen. They are everywhere. All around. We've been so blind.

( He screams )

Operator (on phone): Hello? Sir? Are you in a safe place? Are you being held against your will? Sir?

Season 8 Episode 9

Flatline

Original air date: October 18, 2014

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: You could leave all that stuff here, you know. We do have literally acres of room.

Clara: Oh, no. It's all right. Danny's got a little bit territorial. The idea of me leaving so much as a toothbrush here. But, still, he's all right with us doing this which I admit's a little bit weird, cos you'd think if he had a problem with me leaving stuff in the TARDIS, he'd object to me travelling in the TARDIS. But he's not, so.

The Doctor: Sorry. Stopped listening a while ago. OK. Er, same time you left, same place-ish.

Clara: Ish? Don't give me an ish.

The Doctor: These readings are very er, ishy.

Clara: Er, Doctor?

The Doctor: Uh huh?

[ Wasteland ]

The Doctor: Well. Well, I wonder what caused this? I don't think we're bigger, are we?

Clara: Bristol? Doctor, we're in Bristol!

The Doctor: And a hundred and twenty miles from where we should be. Impressive.

Clara: No. Not impressive. Annoying.

The Doctor: No. This is impressive.

The Doctor: This is annoying. The TARDIS never does this. This is huge! Well, not literally huge. Slightly smaller than usual. Which is huge.

Clara: Yes. I get it. You're excited. When can I go home?

The Doctor: Your house isn't going anywhere. And neither is mine until I get this figured out. Could you not just let me enjoy this moment of not knowing something? I mean, it happens so rarely. Look, I don't think this is dangerous, but I wouldn't like you to get squished accidentally. Anyway, I need you to help me find out what's caused this.

Clara: Fine. I'll go take a look around.

[ Shopping precinct ]

Fenton: It's your filth, Rigsy, start with your signature.

Al: Oh, come on, there's no need for this.

Fenton: There you go.

Fenton: Get on with it. This is community service, not a holiday camp.

[ TARDIS ]

( Alarm blares )

The Doctor: Now, that wasn't me, was it?

The Doctor: Oh, that can't be good.

[ Underpass ]

Stan: Cheer up, love. Might never happen.

George:  Have some respect. She's grieving.

Stan: Oh, sorry, love. I didn't mean nothing by it.

Rigsy: Sorry about them. They're idiots.

Clara: That's all right, don't worry. I've heard worse.

Rigsy: I've lost someone, too. My Aunt Karina. Deaf as a post. Didn't really know her that well but she's still gone. Is your one in the mural?

Clara: Oh, no. I haven't actually

Rigsy: I'm sure they'll get round to it at some point. I'm not really with that lot out there. I just have to do this community service thing. I just do graffiti. Not anything, you know, m*rder or

Clara: So, er, what's all this about? What's happened to all these people?

Rigsy: You mean you don't know?

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): Hey, I think I've found something. People are missing all over the estate.

[ Wasteland ]

Clara: Do you think there's a connection?

The Doctor (O.C.): Could be.

Clara: And where are you?

The Doctor: (O.C.): Exactly where I was.

Clara: No, you're not. I'm here and I can't see. Oh.

The Doctor (O.C.): Yes. Oh.

( Clara laughs )

Clara: Oh, my God, that is so adorable. Are you in there?

The Doctor (O.C.): Yes, I am.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: And, no, it's not adorable. It's very, very serious.

Clara (O.C.): So is this more shrink ray stuff? Are you tiny in there?

The Doctor: No. I'm exactly the same size. It's merely the exterior dimensions that have changed.

[ Wasteland ]

The Doctor: Stop laughing. This is serious.

Clara: Yeah, well, I can't help it, can I, with you and your big old face. How are you going to get out?

The Doctor: Well, plainly I can't. Something nearby is leeching all the external dimensions.

Clara: Aliens?

The Doctor: Possibly. Oh, who am I kidding? Probably. Sensors are down and I can't risk taking off with it in this state. Clara, I need you to pick up the TARDIS. Carefully. It should be possible. I've adjusted the relative gravity.

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): You mean you've made it lighter.

The Doctor: Clara, it's always lighter. If the TARDIS were to land with its true weight, it would fracture the surface of the Earth.

Clara (O.C.): Yeah, maybe a story for another time. What now?

The Doctor: I've managed to get a rough fix on the source of the dimensional leeching.

[ Wasteland ]

The Doctor: It's roughly north west. That way.

Clara: Please don't do that. That's just wrong.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Now, listen! You're going to need these.

[ Wasteland ]

Clara: Oh, wow. This is an honour. Does this mean I'm you now?

The Doctor: No, it does not, so don't get any ideas.

The Doctor: And listen, stick this in your ear.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Can you hear me?

Clara (O.C.): Yes.

[ Wasteland ]

Clara: Ow! What just happened?

The Doctor (O.C.): Nanotech.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: I just hacked your optic nerve.

Clara (O.C.): What does that mean?

The Doctor: I see what you see.

[ Shopping precinct ]

Clara: Anything?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Yes, I'm dizzy. But nothing useful.

Rigsy (on scanner): You never did tell me your name.

The Doctor: No time to fraternize. Come on, get rid of him.

Clara (O.C.): I'm er

[ Shopping precinct ]

Clara: I'm the Doctor.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Don't you dare.

Clara (O.C.): Doctor Oswald.

[ Shopping precinct ]

Clara: But you can call me Clara.

Rigsy: I'm Rigsy. So er, what are you a doctor of?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Of lies.

Clara (O.C.): Well, I'm usually quite vague about that.

[ Shopping precinct ]

Clara: I think I just picked the title because it makes me sound important.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Why, Doctor Oswald, you are hilarious.

[ Shopping precinct ]

The Doctor: (O.C.): Could we get back to work, do you think?

Rigsy: What are you exactly? You don't smell like police but that's some pretty cool gear you got there.

[ TARDIS ]

Rigsy (on scanner): You like a spy, or something?

The Doctor: Oh, he's a bright one, hang on to him.

[ Apartment ]

Rigsy: He was the last one to go missing.

Rigsy: And when he disappeared all the doors and windows were locked from the inside.

The Doctor (O.C.): Ooh, now you're talking. I love a good locked room mystery.

Clara: Yeah, doesn't everyone?

Rigsy: What?

Clara: Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm talking to somebody else. He's listening in. Doctor, Rigsy, Rigsy, the Doctor.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Hello, barely sentient local.

Rigsy (on scanner): Another Doctor?

The Doctor: How do you sleep at night?

[ Apartment ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Missing people, tiny TARDIS, what's the link?

Rigsy: I think this is great that someone's finally looking into this. The police weren't doing anything. They never do on this estate. People were thinking that no one was listening. That no one cared.

[ TARDIS ]

Rigsy (O.C.): So, yeah. I think it's great what you're doing.

The Doctor: Clara, look, I think that we can manage on our own from now on.

[ Apartment ]

Clara: Yeah, well, I think he could still be useful.

The Doctor (O.C.): He's a pudding brain.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Worse than that, he's a fluorescent pudding brain.

Clara (O.C.): OK, fine.

[ Apartment ]

Clara: And all those other missing people, I suppose you know where they lived.

Rigsy: He could still be in the room.

Clara: Sorry, what?

Rigsy: Sorry, nothing. I was just thinking out loud.

[ TARDIS ]

Rigsy (O.C.): It's like one of those locked room things you get in books.

[ Apartment ]

Rigsy: It's always something weird, like, he's still in the room or something.

[ TARDIS ]

Rigsy (O.C.): Do you want to go and check out another flat?

The Doctor: Do you know, I think that you were wrong about this lad. I think that he could be very useful. Vital local knowledge.

Clara (on scanner): Oh, really?

The Doctor: Yes. So try not to scare him off.

Clara (on scanner): How would I scare him off?

[ Apartment ]

Rigsy: Maybe he's lost in the desert, or something.

Clara: OK, right

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): Are we missing something here? Missing man, locked room.

Clara (O.C.): Shrink ray?

[ Apartment ]

Rigsy: Sorry, did you say just say shrink ray?

Clara: What if he is still in this room like you said, only tiny? You know, like underneath the sofa or something.

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, this is the

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Scaring off that we were talking about.

[ Apartment ]

Rigsy: OK. So er, my lunch break's nearly up. This this has been er, interesting.

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, local knowledge is leaving. Do something!

Clara: Rigsy! One sec. Doctor, open the doors.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: I didn't mean that!

[ Apartment ]

Clara: Look, you want him to stay or not?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: You really do throw your companions in at the deep end, don't you?

[ Apartment ]

Clara: Rigsy, come here. Meet the Doctor.

Clara: So, what do you think? Tiny man idea.

The Doctor: Yes, it's a lovely thought. Which is why I set the sonic to scan for that as soon as we entered. Pleased to meet you.

Clara: And you didn't think to tell me?

The Doctor: Well, of course he might have been squashed under a policeman's shoe by now.

Rigsy: It's bigger. On the inside.

The Doctor: Do you know, I don't think that statement's ever been truer.

Rigsy: What are you? Like, aliens, or something?

Clara: No. Well, he is.

( Alarm blares )

Clara: Doctor? Doctor, did you hear that?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Yes. Whatever it was, it just drained a massive amount of energy

[ Apartment ]

The Doctor: From inside the TARDIS.

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): What was it?

[ Apartment ]

The Doctor: I don't know, but that's the least of my problems. Just get us out of there.

Clara: OK. Go. Rigsy, this is where we run. Stick with me.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: I mean this is just embarrassing. I'm from the race that built the TARDIS. Dimensions are kind of our thing. So why can't I understand this?

[ Street ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, I need more info. Where else have people disappeared?

[ Heath's house ]

PC Forrest: MI5?

Clara: Yes, this case has got our attention.

PC Forrest: Well, you've come to the right place, ma'am. First reported disappearance, a Mister Heath. It's not on the estate, but it's exactly the same MO as the rest

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, I think that your shrink

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Ray theory was wrong.

[ Heath's house ]

Clara: My shrink ray theory? I thought you were already scanning for that.

PC Forrest: It's like they vanished.

Clara: Doctor? What are you doing?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: It just struck me. Locked room mysteries. Classic solution number one, they're still in the room. Classic solution number two, they're in the walls.

[ Heath's house ]

Clara: What do you mean, they're in the

PC Forrest: Have we done as much as we could? No. Do we have any suspects? No. Off the record, I think the top brass are hoping if they ignore this it'll all just go away.

Clara: Apparently they're in the walls.

( Mobile phone rings )

PC Forrest: PC Forrest. Yes, sir. MI5, sir.

Rigsy: So, you and that bloke in a box. You do this sort of stuff a lot?

Clara: Oh, well, he's usually out of the box. But, yep.

[ Heath's livingroom ]

PC Forrest: I don't know. Maybe they thought we weren't doing enough, sir.

( Crunching )

PC Forrest: Can I call you back?

[ Heath's house ]

Rigsy: So how'd you get this gig? You study science, or aliens, or something?

( Clara laughs )

Clara:  No. Well, it's kind of a more of a right place, right time or wrong place, wrong time depending on how he's behaving.

The Doctor (O.C.): I can hear you, you know.

[ Heath's livingroom ]

PC Forrest: Ma'am, there's something in here, I think.

( She screams )

( She screams )

Clara: PC Forrest? Hello? Hello?

Clara: Doctor, she's gone.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: What am I missing? The TARDIS should be able to detect anything in the known universe. The known universe. This universe.

The Doctor: Clara, wait, go back.

[ Heath's livingroom ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Back, back, back. That mural.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: That is a nervous system

[ Heath's livingroom ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Scaled up and flattened. I think we've found PC Forrest. What's left of her, at least.

Clara: Her nervous system.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: The mural in the flat. That wasn't a desert at all. It's a microscopic blow up of human skin.

[ Heath's livingroom ]

Clara: What? Why?

The Doctor (O.C.): Whatever they are, they are experimenting. They're testing. They are, they are dissecting. Trying to understand us.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Trying to understand three dimensions.

[ Heath's livingroom ]

Rigsy: Ow. The handle.

Clara: Doctor. The handle, they've flattened the handle.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Fascinating. Clara, they're in the walls!

[ Heath's livingroom ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Keep away from them. If they touch you, you're finished.

Rigsy: What happens if they touch us?

( Hissing )

Clara: I really don't want to find out.

Rigsy: They can't jump, can they?

( Mobile phone rings )

Clara: Hey, you.

[ Park ]

Danny: I've got our bench. Did you get held up?

[ Heath's livingroom ]

Clara: Just a little. Sorry, Danny. I think lunch is er, a bust.

Danny (O.C.): Oh, hon, you're missing

[ Park ]

Danny: Some classic park action.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Clara, the window!

[ Heath's livingroom ]

Rigsy: Look! Look! They're climbing the walls.

Danny (O.C.): Who was that?

Clara: Er, that's just a guy on community support and I'm helping him find his auntie.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Nice. Not technically lying.

[ Park ]

Danny: Sounds kind of active.

[ Heath's livingroom ]

Clara: Er, yeah, there was a thing, er a thing.

[ Park ]

Danny: Where are you and are you in trouble?

[ Heath's livingroom ]

Clara: No, no, no, I'm fine!

[ Park ]

( Glass smashes and screams )

Danny: Clara? Clara?

[ Heath's front yard ]

( Car alarm )

Clara: Danny?

Danny (O.C.): What's happening?

Clara: Oh, not much, just some nonsense. Long story.

Danny (O.C.): What story?

Clara: Tell you later. Love you!

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: This explains everything. They're from a universe with only two dimensions. And, yes, that is a thing. It's long been theorised, of course, but no one could go there and prove its existence without a heck of a diet.

The Doctor: And what long story are you going to tell Danny, huh? Or haven't you made it up yet?

Clara (O.C.): Sorry, what? What was that?

[ Subway ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Excellent lying, Doctor Oswald.

Clara: Yeah? Well, thought it was pretty weak myself.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: I meant to me. You told me that Danny was OK with you being back on board the TARDIS.

[ Subway ]

Clara: Well, he is.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Yeah, because he doesn't know anything about it.

[ Subway ]

Clara: Doctor

The Doctor (O.C.): Congratulations. Lying is a vital survival skill.

Clara: Well, there you go.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: And a terrible habit.

[ Subway ]

( Static )

Clara: Ah. Doctor, you're breaking up a bit.

( Static )

The Doctor (O.C.): Yeah, of course I am.

Clara: No, really, you are. I can't hear you.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: What? Oh, right, bl*wing out that window's possibly affected the earpiece. Take it out and sonic it.

[ Subway ]

Clara: Doing it.

Rigsy: Hey! They can't do that. Hey! What you doing?

Fenton: Our job. You're on report, by the way. Late back from lunch.

Clara: Does it even still count as lying if you're doing for someone's own good? Well, like, technically their own good.

Rigsy: It's a memorial!

[ TARDIS ]

Fenton (on scanner): Council didn't approve it, it's graffiti. Stan.

The Doctor: Look, Clara. Talk to me, talk to me!

Rigsy (O.C.): What are you doing?

[ Subway ]

The Doctor: Clara, the mural. Clara, it's the mural! Over there, look, the mural! We've found the missing people, they're in the walls!

Clara: What do I do?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Act normal, but get everyone out.

[ Subway ]

Clara: They're very realistic. Who painted them?

Rigsy: I don't know. A local artist.

[ TARDIS ]

Rigsy (O.C.): Probably a grieving relative.

Clara (O.C.): Did you ever meet them?

[ Subway ]

Clara: Or did they just appear after people disappeared?

Fenton: And who are you when you're at home, love?

Clara: Health and safety. This subway is unsafe. Everyone needs to leave right now.

Fenton: This is blank. Try again, sweetheart.

Clara: What?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: What? It takes quite a lack of imagination to b*at psychic paper.

[ Subway ]

Fenton: Stan. Do your job.

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, stop him.

( Stan screams )

Rigsy: Stan!

Al: What is this? What are they?

The Doctor (O.C.): They're wearing the d*ad like camouflage.

Clara: Forget Stan. Your friend's gone.

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, get them out of there!

Clara: We need to move. Now.

[ Train shed ]

George: Did they follow us? Cos I didn't see them follow us. Are we safe?

Al: Are we really hiding from k*ller graffiti? This is insane.

The Doctor (O.C.): I agree.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: We'll have to think of a better name for them than that.

[ Train shed ]

George: And Stan was one of them. Flattened, d*ad, but coming after us.

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, this is a

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Vital stage. This little group is currently confused and disorientated

[ Train shed ]

The Doctor (O.C.): But pretty soon a leader is going to emerge. You need to make sure that leader is you.

Clara: I'm on it. George. George, isn't it? Can you watch that area? If you hear anything, anything moves, you shout, OK?

Fenton: He will do no such thing until I get some answers. Who are you? That's what I want to know. Impersonating a government official. Trespassing on council property.

Clara: Seriously?

Fenton: Seriously.

Clara: Fine, I'll tell you who I am. I am the one chance you've got of staying alive. That's who I am.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Well done.

[ Train shed ]

Clara: Rigsy, how well do you know this area? Do you know where that door leads?

Rigsy: It's the old Brunswick line. But it's not safe.

Al: Well, there's safe and there's safe.

Rigsy: Yeah, I know it. I used to go down there all the time.

Fenton: Yeah, I'll bet you did. Painting your filth.

Clara: Yeah, well, you might be glad he did. Those things come in here, that is our only way out. (quietly) I just hope I can keep them all alive.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Ah, welcome to my world. So what's next, Doctor Clara?

[ Train shed ]

Clara: Lie to them.

The Doctor (O.C.): What?

Clara: Lie to them. Give them hope. Tell them they're all going to be fine. Isn't that what you would do?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: In a manner of speaking. It's true that people with hope tend to run faster, whereas people who think they're doomed

[ Train shed ]

Clara: Dawdle. End up d*ad.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: So that's what I sound like.

[ Train shed ]

Fenton: Who's she talking to?

Al: He says it's MI5.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Right, here's something that might help you. Do you remember the graffiti from the estate? Footprints, tyre treads?

[ Train shed ]

Clara: Vaguely.

The Doctor (O.C.): Well, I don't think it was graffiti. I think that that is 

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: How those creatures saw us.

[ Train shed ]

The Doctor (O.C.):The impressions we make in two dimensional space. That was them reaching out, attempting to talk.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: At which point they moved into flattening and dissection. Trying to understand. Trying to emulate. But here's the big question. Do they know they're hurting us?

Clara (O.C.): So what?

[ Train shed ]

Clara: You think this is all one big misunderstanding?

The Doctor (O.C.): That's a very good question. Why don't we ask them?'

( Static )

The Doctor (O.C.): We need to find a way to communicate.

Clara: Why can't the TARDIS just translate?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Because their idea of language is just as bizarre as their idea of space. Even the TARDIS is confused.

Fenton (O.C.): This is a bad idea.

[ Train shed ]

Fenton: What makes this colleague of yours think those monsters even want to talk?

The Doctor (O.C.): I know a race

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Made of sentient gas who throw fireballs as a friendly wave. I know another race with sixty four stomachs who talk to each other by

[ Train shed ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Disembowelling.

Clara: He's got a hunch.

The Doctor (O.C.): My point being that in a universe as immense and bizarre as this one, you cannot be too quick to judge.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Perhaps these creatures don't even understand that we need three dimensions to live in.

The Doctor: They may not even know that they're hurting us.

[ Train shed ]

Clara: Do you really believe that?

The Doctor (O.C.): No. I really hope that.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: It would make a nice change, wouldn't it? OK. Let's start with pi. Even in a flat world they would have circles. I don't mean edible pie, I mean circular pi. Which I realise would also mean edible pie but anyway.

( Chirruping )

The Doctor: They're responding. The TARDIS is translating now.

[ Train shed ]

The Doctor (O.C.): It's a number. 55.

Clara: 55? What does that mean?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Tenth Fibonacci number. Atomic number of caesium.

[ Train shed ]

Rigsy: I know what it means. We all have numbers on our jackets. Have to sign them out.

[ TARDIS ]

Rigsy (O.C.): That was the number on Stan's jacket, the man they flattened in the subway.

[ Train shed ]

Fenton: They're gloating.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: We don't know that.

[ Train shed ]

Clara: It could be an apology, for all we know?

Al: Really? That's nice of them.

Fenton: An apology? Are you seriously...

( Chirruping )

Clara: Shush, shush, shush. Listen. Wait.

The Doctor (O.C.): Two, two: Twenty two.

Clara: Twenty two.

Rigsy: That's George.

Fenton: Looks like your number's up, George. Now they're thr*at.

Clara: Maybe. Or maybe they're showing us they can read.

Fenton: Oh, grow up. They're picking targets.

Rigsy: Of course you'd see it that way.

Fenton: What do you mean by that?

Clara: George?

Rigsy: Everyone's out to get you, aren't they?

Fenton: In this case, they kind of are.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Clara, be careful.

[ Train shed ]

Clara: The tunnel!

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): Doctor, they've got George.

The Doctor: I know. I did see.

Clara (O.C.): What now?

The Doctor: Give me a minute. I'm working on it.

[ Disused tunnel ]

Clara: Another flat handle. They were here. Not now. They've stopped chasing us, I think. It feels like they're cornering us.

The Doctor (O.C.): You can't apply human logic. You're dealing with creatures from another dimension.

Al: That's three exits all blocked by those creatures.

Clara: Rigsy, where's the next exit?

Rigsy: The only other one I can think of is where the old line joins the new, but it's a fair walk. Getting through that door would be quicker.

Fenton: But we can't, can we?

Rigsy: I'm just saying.

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, I might be able to help with that door.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Give me five minutes.

[ Disused tunnel ]

Rigsy: It's one of mine. Do you like it?

Clara: Yeah, not bad. So this thing you're working on?

The Doctor (O.C.): I think I've figured out a way to restore three dimensions. At least on a small scale, say

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Door handles.

Clara (O.C.): So, what's that, then?

[ Disused tunnel ]

Clara: A de-flattener?

The Doctor (O.C.): We're not calling it a de-flattener.

The Doctor (O.C.): This should be able to restore dimensions. You see what I've called it?

Clara: Two D is. Two Dee Iz?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: No. Twodis. It's called the Twodis.  Why'd I even bother? Well, give it a go, then.

[ Disused tunnel ]

Clara: Long way round it is.

[ TARDIS ]

( Alarm blares )

The Doctor: Clara, I don't know how, but they're doing it again. They're leeching the TARDIS!

Clara (O.C.): How? Your doors are closed.

The Doctor: They've changed frequency. This time it's different.

Clara (O.C.): Listen!

[ Disused tunnel ]

Clara: The Doctor thinks we might be in trouble. He thinks they might be close.

Fenton: Where, exactly?

Clara: I don't know. He's not sure. He's getting readings all around.

Fenton: Oh, that's just great. Sounds important but means absolutely nothing. Can you tell your friend

Al: Aaaargh! Aaaaaaaaargh!

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Of course. The next stage. 3D.

[ Disused tunnel ]

Rigsy: Run!

Clara: Doctor? The door.

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): The handle's flattened.

[ Disused tunnel ]

The Doctor: I've boosted the output.

Clara: And it will work this time?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Absolutely.

[ Tunnel ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, stop. Use it again. It can reverse the process.

Rigsy: There's a ladder at the end of this. If we get down into the tunnel, we can make it into daylight.

Clara: Hang on! Hang on.

Fenton: If it's flat, we're safe now, aren't we?

Rigsy: They can't get through, can they?

Clara: Wait.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: They have a new ability. Of course they have. Now they're 3D, they can restore dimensions.

[ Tunnel ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara, do you want the good news or the bad news?

Clara: We're in the bad news! 

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): I'm living the bad news!

The Doctor: The good news is I've come up with a theoretical way to send them back to their own dimension.

[ Tunnel ]

Clara: Do it! Now!

The Doctor (O.C.): And that's the bad news. The TARDIS doesn't have enough dimensional energy to pull it off.

Clara: Great. What do you want me to do about it?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Apparently these things can pump it out as fast as they can steal it.

[ Tunnel ]

Clara: Maybe if I ask them really nicely, they'll fill you up again. Hey!

Fenton: Give me that machine! Hand it over!

Clara: Doctor?

( Alarm sounds )

Clara: Hello? Doctor? Look, can we please deal with this later? Because we need to move.

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): Doctor? Doctor, I dropped you down a hole. Where are you?

The Doctor: I don't know. My shields have gone. Structural integrity is failing. Another blow like that and I've had it.

The Doctor: Er, I'm on the train lines. And there's a train coming. Of course there is. Short-term re-materialisation? Not enough power. Teleport? Not enough power. Re-route the heart of the TARDIS through - not enough power! Not enough power!

( Train whistle blows )

Clara (O.C.): Can't you move the TARDIS?

The Doctor: Clara, there is no power. The TARDIS couldn't boil an egg at the moment. Listen, do what you can to get those people out of there.

[ Tunnel ]

The Doctor (O.C.): You're stronger than you know.

Rigsy: I wonder what they're like with ladders?

Clara: No, I mean you move the TARDIS. Like...

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): Addams Family.

The Doctor: Ha! ( Static on line )

[ Tunnel ]

Clara: Doctor? Doctor? 

[ Track ]

Rigsy: They'd be here if they were coming. Where are they?

Fenton: There's no other way down, right? Hey! I'm talking to you.

Rigsy: There is. An old service elevator near the mouth of the tunnel.

Clara: We should go.

Fenton: Oh, no.

Fenton: And there's another train coming.

( Train whistle blows )

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: I don't know if you can still hear me out there, but the TARDIS is now in siege mode. No way in, no way out. I managed to turn it on just before the train h*t. But there's not enough power left now to turn it off.

[ Track ]

Bill: What's going on? Why the red light?

Clara: MI5. We've got a, er

Fenton: Blockage. In the tunnel.

Clara: Can we ram the blockage? The train's empty, isn't it?

Bill: Yeah, it's out of service, but you'd need someone to hold the d*ad man's handle. Won't run without it. Is this official? Because I've always wanted to ram something.

Clara: Can we rig it to drive without that? Send it in with no driver?

Clara: Rigsy!

[ Driver's cab ]

Clara: Er, what are you doing?

Rigsy: I'm going to ram them, buy you some time.

Clara: You'll die.

Rigsy: Yeah, course I'll die. Now go!

Clara: Well, why'd you want to do that?

Rigsy: Just go, OK? Let me do this.

Clara: OK, fine, yeah. And I'll always remember you.

Rigsy: Fine. Great

Clara: Cos I was just going to do this.

Clara: No driver required. And I really like that hair band, but I suppose I'll just take it, will I? And every time I look at it, I'll remember the hero who died to save it. Come on. You're not getting off that lightly. There's work that needs doing.

[ Track ]

Clara: I quite liked that hair band.

Rigsy: What is it?

Clara: I think it's the TARDIS.

[ Office ]

Bill: They wear your skin?

Fenton: I never thought I'd say this

Bill: This is insane.

Fenton: But I think preferred them when they were flat.

Bill: What do you mean flat?

Clara: Doctor?

( Static )

Clara: Doctor? What would you do now? No. What will I do now? OK, OK, OK. OK, the last thing the Doctor said was that the TARDIS needed energy. He said if it gets energy, he can b*at them.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: No, no, no. What are you doing?

[ Office ]

Fenton: Leave her. She's lost it.

Rigsy: Are you OK?

Clara: Yeah, are you?

Rigsy: I think I will be. What's this?

Clara: Come on, Graffiti Boy, I've got a commission for you.

Rigsy: I'm flattered but I don't think this is exactly the time

Clara: Well, fine, if you don't think you're up to it.

Rigsy: What do you need, exactly?

[ Service tunnel ]

Fenton: You're going to get us k*lled. This plan's insane.

Clara: You want to walk? Walk. You want to stay? Then shush!

Bill: They're coming!

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Life support failing. I don't know if you'll ever hear this, Clara. I don't even know if you're still alive out there.

The Doctor: But you were good! And you made a mighty fine Doctor.

[ Service tunnel ]

Fenton: It's not working. You've k*lled us all.

Bill: This is going to save us? Pumping energy into the wall?

Clara: No. Not into the wall. Through the wall. Rule number one of being the Doctor. Use your enemy's power against them.

Clara: They can't restore three dimensions to a door that never existed.

Clara: It worked. They charged the TARDIS.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: I tried to talk. I want you to remember that. I tried to reach out, I tried to understand you, but I think that you understand us perfectly.

[ Train shed ]

The Doctor (O.C.): And I think you just don't care. And I don't know whether you are here to inv*de, infiltrate or just replace us. 

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: I don't suppose it really matters now. You are monsters. That is the role you seem determined to play. So it seems I must play mine.

[ Track ]

The Doctor: The man that stops the monsters. I'm sending you back to your own dimension. Who knows? Some of you may even survive the trip. And, if you do, remember this. You are not welcome here. This plane is protected. I am the Doctor. And I name you The Boneless.

( Boom )

[ Wasteland ]

( Chuckling )

Rigsy: Hi, Mum. It's me.

Clara: You all right?

Bill: I'm alive, and I've been inside that. I think I'm up on the deal. Come here.

Bill: Thank you.  You look chipper.

Clara: Do people still say chipper?

The Doctor: Apparently. Are you OK?

Clara: I'm alive.

The Doctor: And a lot of people died.

Fenton: It's like a forest f*re, though, isn't it? The objective is to save the great trees, not the brushwood. Am I right?

The Doctor: It wasn't a f*re, those weren't trees, those were people.

Fenton: They were Community Payback scumbags, I wouldn't lose any sleep.

The Doctor: I bet you wouldn't.

Fenton: It's good to be alive though. Thank you. Seriously, thank you.

The Doctor: Yes, a lot of people died and maybe the wrong people survived.

Clara: Yeah, but we saved the world, right?

The Doctor: We did. You did.

Clara: OK, so, on balance

The Doctor: Balance?

Clara: Yeah, that's how you think, isn't it?

The Doctor: Largely so other people don't have to.

Clara: Yeah, well, I was you today. I was the Doctor. And, apparently, I was quite good at it.

The Doctor: You heard that, did you?

Clara: Yeah, but the power was going off so I suppose you were delirious. You didn't know what you were saying.

The Doctor: Yes.

The Doctor: Ah! The return of the fluorescent pudding brain.

Clara: You do realise he can hear you now?

The Doctor: I know. Your last painting was so good it saved the world. I can't wait to see what you do next.

Rigsy:  It's not going to be easy. I've got a hair band to live up to. ( She chuckles ) Thanks.

Clara: Come here. Admit it. I did well.

( Phone rings )

The Doctor: Is that PE?

Clara: Just say it. Why can't you just say it? Why can't you just say I did good?

The Doctor: Talk to soldier boy.

Clara: It's not him. Come on, why can't you say it? I was the Doctor and I was good.

The Doctor: You were an exceptional Doctor, Clara.

Clara: Thank you.

The Doctor: Goodness had nothing to do with it.

[ Room ]

Missy: Clara. My Clara. I have chosen well.

( She laughs )

I think it's lovely.

Automated voice: You have reached your destination.

No, we haven't. We're supposed to be in the middle of London.

'You have reached your destination.'

Oh, stop staying that!

She's only saying it because it's true.

We ARE in the middle of London.
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who_", "episode": "08x09 - Flatline"}