(Tehran, Iran.)

Ray: Not very good. Terrible use of color.

(Madrid Barajas airport two weeks later.)

This looks like it was painted by a five year-old.

(Miller Art Gallery downtown Los Angeles.)

Art dealer: Your money's on the desk.

What a piece of crap.

(One month later. Northeast Los Angeles.)

Chuck: Please... please don't sh**t; don't sh**t me.

Just put the g*n down.

Gently.

Kid:I can't sh**t. That's the problem.

The stupid thing is busted.

Chuck: Well, when it comes to Mr. Bartowski, my friend, busted is just a state of mind.

Opening this puppy up. reconfigure that.

And ta-da--locked and loaded. Try that. nice sh*t. See?

Harry: Chuck, big mike wants to see you.

Chuck: Not now, harry.

Can't you see? I'm with a customer? I apologize, sir.

This is not normally how we do things at buy more.

Now, Chuck!

Chuck: I was just on my wayto see you-- that's crazy.

Pause that. Bartowski, what is itthat you want out of life?

Chuck: You mean, existentially--like, fulfillment, inner peace, that kind of a thing?

Or are we talking more practically, like, lakers tickets, personal steam room... we're talking buy more.

Career objectives.

Big Mike: Where do you see yourself in five years, ten years?

Chuck: Honestly?

Big Mike: Honestly.

Chuck: I have absolutely no idea.

Big Mike: Well, then it's time you started to think about it.

As you know, there's an assistant management position open.

It's down to you and harry tang.

Now, you want that job or not?

Chuck: I do, I do.

Uh, I'm sorry, big mike.

I absolutely want that job.

Big Mike: Well, then, Bartowski, it's your turn to show me something.

Chuck: I got some bad news.

Big mike wants us to fix all of this junk in two days, or he's going to give the assistant store manager position to Tang.

I'm sorry, guys.

And anna.

Anna; Guys is fine. I don't mind.

Chuck: No, it's not right. We need to come up with something non-gender specific.

How do we feel about team?

Anna: The little nerd herders?

Lester: The lesters?

Jeff: Chuck's s*ab of hos.

Morgan: Hey...

Oh, man, uh, heard big mike threw down the gauntlet.

Wanted to come byand say I'd love to help.

But, a: I lack the skill set, and B. Old computers give me the willies.

You have no idea how much courage it's takenjust to stand here.

Chuck: I'm really proud of you, buddy.

Morgan: Thanks, bro.

I bring you news.

Chuck: What?

Morgan: Your lady's here.

And if I'm not oversteppingmy bounds, looking good.

Chuck: Hey.

Sarah: Hey.

Give me a kiss.

Chuck: I'm sorry. What?

We've been on three dates.

We have to sell it.

That's it?

Chuck: I'm not really good with pda.

Sarah: Well, let's go somewhere more private.

Shall we?

Morgan: Okay, he is so in. This is... hey. Okay, whoa!

Why don't we give the kids a little privacy? not cool.

Casey: Sorry to break up your little tryst.

Next time you need to talk to the subject, I'd appreciatea heads up.

Sarah: Relax. I wouldn't dream of starting without you, agent Casey.

Chuck: Mom, dad, can we get on with it? I have hard drives to fix.

Why are these people sleeping?

Casey: They're not sleeping.

Sarah: They were k*lled, Chuck, and we want to know why.

Chuck: I have no idea.

Casey: Well, look again.

Chuck: I would rather not. It's kind of creepy.

Jeff: Sorry.

I was going to take a nap.

I'll come back in five. Kind of called dibs on the couch?

Sarah: Chuck, what did you see?

Chuck: Um, I don'T... I'm not... I'm not totally sure.

A water lily painting, w*apon, an art auction tomorrow night.

Does the name la ciudad mean anything to you?

Casey: Why?

Chuck: Because I think he's going to be at the art auction tomorrow night.

Right then.

I'm going to go fix some hard drives.

Good luck with the spy stuff. Excuse me.

Ellie: Chuck, I am so proud of you.

Morgan told me about the assistant management job.

Congratulations.

Team Bartowski moving upin the world, huh? 

Chuck: Okay, first of all, it's not mine yet, and second of all, you can ease up on the enthusiasm.

It's only a two dollar an hour raise at an electronics store, and it doesn't even give me my own parking space.

Ellie: Well, does your lack of interest mean that you're actually considering leaving the buy more for a real profession?

Morgan: Real profession? Sorry.

I'm going too need clarification on that.

Ellie: He went to stanford, for god's sakes, Morgan.

Morgan: Right, and was unceremoniously expelled h*m* year-- sorry to bring that up, champ-- butI think we need to be realistic about our goals here.

His goals or your goals?

Morgan: Great question, and I think we need to hammer outa plan for Chuck. Where do we see him in five years?

Ten years?

Ellie: We?

Morgan: Fine. Then just you and I.

General Beckman: We're glad to hear you've settled into Chuck's apartment building.

But if he's right, this is a high priority.

La ciudad is the most elusive and dangerous arms dealer in the world.

Director Graham: And the last anyone heard, mi-6 in london had a drop on him, but he vanished.

Sarah: Well, if he turns up, we'll just take him down at the auction.

 Director Graham: Not so easy.

We have no idea what he looks like, no photographs.

No one has ever seen la ciudad that has lived to tell about it.

Casey: So we'll bring the intersect.

Everything you know about la ciudad was fed into that computer.

Sarah: No way. It is too dangerous.

He has no field experienceor training.

Casey: He'll be fine. It's an art auction.

Morgan: Listen to me-- it is way too scary out there.

Chuck can't leave the buy more.

We're still finding ourselves.

Ellie: No offense, Morgan, but I think my brother has spent quitea few years finding himself, and he's definitely proventhat his place in life is not at the buy more.

Morgan: You don't understand. He is a fragile little gelding.

You know, still trying to find his legs.

The real world will crush him.

Ellie: Do you knowwhat a gelding is?

Morgan:  It's the... that weird creature from the dark crystal.

Smells like gelding. That-that guy.

Casey: He'll be fine.

La ciudad probably won't even be there.

Sarah: And if he is, is it worth the risk?

Beckman: All right, I've heard enough.

Put him in the field.

We don't know what he's capable of until he's been tested.

Devon: What he needs is something to challenge him.

To test his limitations.

A brush with his own mortality.

You know what I'm thinking?

Ellie: I have no idea what you're thinking.

Morgan: As far as I'm concerned, dude, you're way off the reservation.

Devon: Class five whitewater rapids.

Just the two of us this weekend.

Near-death experience.

Awesome!

Chuck; That sounds great, but my wet suit's at the dry cleaners.

Ellie; That is a terrible idea.

That's way too dangerous.

Morgan: I agree, and I am not comfortable with you guys spending that amount of time together.

Ellie: Well, Chuck hasn't said a word. What do you want to do?

Chuck: I'm just going to h*t the sack.

Good night, team Bartowski. 

Morgan; That's-that's great work, guys.

You see what you're doing here? That's awesome.

Casey: Congratulations, Chuck.

You just got your first mission-- tomorrow night.

Hope you're ready for the real world, huh?

Chuck Season01 Episode03

Chuck: So, dress attire for this evening-- uh, sneakers, or are we classifying this as more of a shoe event?

Casey: I rented you a tux.

Chuck: Oh, that's very nice... how did you know my size?

Casey: Nsa-- they have records of your rental information from prom night.

I checked the suit in your closet.

Chuck: Okay, this is my first foray into major undercover spy work, so you could ease up on the sarcasm. That would be great.

And how am I supposed to recognize la ciudad? Is there a picture or something?

Casey: If there was a photograph, why would we need you?

Chuck: What did we just talk about?

Casey: I'm sorry.

We're hoping something in the event triggers a flash.

Chuck: See, that's all you had to say.

Now, uh, hand-to-hand combat-- in all seriousness, if it comes down to me and la ciudad in some fisticuffs or something, is there, like, a 20-minute tutorial you can take me through?

Casey: Don't worry. You're going to be fine.

Nothing's going to happen to you.

Assuming you know how to tango.

Chuck: Seriously?

Casey: Oh, I don't joke about your life.

Chuck: Right.

Morgan: Chuck, your girlfriend's here.

Chuck: One minute, I have computers to fix.

Anna: Don't worry about it. We got it.

There's only a few left.

Chuck: What? Are you sure?

Lester: It's done, but next time I have a big date, you are going to cover for me.

Chuck: Okay. Great. Thanks, team.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Morgan: Thanks, team.

Where are you lovebirds headed?

Chuck: We're actually going to an art auction at the wilshire grand.

Morgan: Swanky!

Yeah, I like it, man.

Uh, aren't we moving a little too fast now?

Career, girl.

Guy's got it all.

Sarah: The idea with a cover is to keep it as simple as possible without revealing true personal detail.

Any thoughts on a name?

Chuck: Charles carmichael?

Simple, dignified.

Sarah: Easy to remember and not far off from...

Chuck:  graduated with honors from stanford.

Runs a hugely successful software company.

Semi-retired and is considering entering america's cup.

Sarah: Have you donethis before?

Chuck: Let's just say, uh, Mr. Carmichael and I sharea small kinship.

Sarah: How's that?

Chuck: When I first entered stanford, it's kind of where I envisioned myself being by now, except for the sailing part.

I don't really know where that came from.

But he's where most of my class already is.

Sarah: So, what happened?

Chuck: My life took a little detour h*m* year when our old friend bryce larkin discovered stolen tests under my bed, and was kind enough to alert administration.

Sarah: Did you steal the tests?

Chuck: I thought it was kind of implied that I'm a decent person.

Sarah: Well, we all make mistakes.

Chuck: And I made plenty. That just wasn't one of them.

But, hey, then Bryce sent me a whole database of government secrets that are now locked in my brain, keeping me in a constant state of fear, danger and anxiety, so I'd say we're even.

Sarah: Don't worry about tonight.

No reason to be nervous.

I am not going to leave your side.

Chuck: Me nervous? Come on. Never.

Sarah: Your hand is a little moist.

Chuck: It does that when I'm freaking out.

Hey, sis.

Hey, sis, um... do you know how to tango?

Ellie: No, why?

Chuck: Oh, no reason.

I just, I have a date tonight.

I thought it might come up.

Ellie: You're tangoing on a date?

Well, that's definitely new territory.

It's good to see you reaching outside of your comfort zone.

Chuck: Well, considering my comfort zone extends to the end of that couch, new territory was bound to come up.

Devon: Did someone say tango?

Chuck: No, thank you, captain awesome, I'll look it up online.

Would you please put on something, a robe or something?

Devon: Did a semester abroad in buenos aires.

Spent many a night tangoing my way into señoritas' pantalones.

Jeff: And... go.

Anna; There's no way he's going to break the two minute record.

Lester: Ooh, there.

It's okay, sweetheart.

Lester is right here.

Harry: Sorry to interrupt.

But we found just a few more down by the loading dock.

Where's Bartowski?

Morgan: On a date with a smoking hot wiener girl, no biggie.

Harry: And he left you all here?

Good leadership.

Real good.

Well, it shouldn't be too difficult to get these done by morning.

I'll leave the coffee pot on.

 Lester: Done.

What are those?

Morgan, what are those?

Morgan: Tang.

Sarah: Here. This is for you.

Inside the watch is a tracking system.

That way you can'trun away from me.

And if you flash on anyone, tell me immediately and then stay out of the way.

Chuck: Absolutely, yeah.

I, uh, I always run from a fight.

Casey: This isn't a joke, Chuck.

No one who's ever seen you has lived to tell about it.

Chuck: Is he being serious? Seriously?

What are my chancesof getting into trouble?

Casey: Toughen up, you'll be fine... assuming you know how to tango.

Chuck: I did some preparation, okay?

I wouldn't callmyself an expert... 

Sarah: Why would he need to know howto tango? Is that code?

Chuck: No, not-- no, he told me thatI needed to know how to tango...

Spy humor, I like that.

Sarah: Come on, you ready?

Morgan: Okay, wait, wait. Where's everybody going, huh?

We got computers to fix.

Jeff: Sorry, bro, I got mybar mitzvah lesson.

Anna: Internet poker.

Jeff: I'm off by 8:00and hammered by 8:05.

Morgan: What about Chuck Bartowski?

Okay, what about our fearless leader?

We owe him.

Anna: For what?

Morgan: What?

'Cause tonight, Chuck Bartowski's boldly going where none of us have ever gone before-- to have intercourse with a beautiful woman.

Anna: Speak for yourself.

Lester: Interesting.

Interesting.

Anna: I'm out of here. I gotta go.

Lester: Anna, could I-- anna?

Morgan: Okay. Okay, fine.

See you guys.

Big michael just gave the position to harry tang.

Oh, have I gotyour attention now?

Good. Good, 'cause you know what that means?

No more two-hour lunch breaks.

No more xbox tournaments.

No more p*rn.

Yeah, yeah. Total work hell.

Jeff: I'm in, but your boy better close the deal.

Lester: : Let's do this.

Morgan: Okay, thanks a lot, lester.

Lester: Don't touch me.

Morgan: I'm going to talk to you about this whole girl thing.

Hey, jeff, atta boy, huh?

Chuck: Oh, nice, yes, thank you.

Oh, nice.

I've been a spy all of five seconds and I already have soy sauce on my shirt.

Sarah: Well, go and wash it off.

And Chuck, stop saying that you're a spy.

Right, of course.

Idiot.

Mi 6 agent: Do we know each other?

Chuck: No.

No, not that I know of.

Sorry.

It's him.

Sarah: Who?

Chuck: La ciudad.

Sarah:,Come on.

Chuck:I've already identified the perp, as it were, what are we still doing here?

I mean, you know, mission accomplished. Time to go.

Sarah: Chuck, go wait at the bar.

Chuck: Go wait... wait at the bar?

Okay, you go do what you do. I'm going to be at the bar, waiting there.

Covering that whole area.

Casey: Drink, sir?

Chuck: Yeah, uh...

I'd like a martini, barkeep, shaken and stirred. Thank you.

Casey: Would you like a cherry with that?

Allan Waterman: Chuck Bartowski?

Chuck: No.

The name's carmichael.

Alan: Allan watterman, stanford?

Hey, hey, how are you?

Chuck: Hey. Hey, you. Hey.

Allan: I'm great. I don't know if you heard, I sold out of my software company.

Kind of unemployed.

Problem is, I'm too young to retire.

I'm too rich to work. 

Chuck: That's quite a pickle you find yourself in, watterman.

Alan: What are you doing now?

Last I heard, you were, um, you were fixing computers or something?

Chuck; Yeah.

You know, just kind of, uh, just kind of weighing my options right now.

Uh, you know, I may be getting a managerial position at an electronics conglomerate, so, you know... all right.

Alan: Well, I always knew you'd make something of yourself.

Who are you here with?

Chuck: Oh, my date. She's right over there.

Alan; She's with you? Ouch 

Chuck: We have a very open relationship.

Alan: Well, hey, um, give me a call.

You know, if you need help with the whole job thing.

I know people.

Chuck: Bet you do, yeah. Yeah.

Alan: There you go.

Chuck: Insider trading and offshore accounts in the caymans.

Alan: What did you just say?

Do you work for the sec? I got to go.

Lester: Something fishy going on.

I know you guys think Chuck's a great guy and all that, but that weiner girlis super hot.

Even for me.

Jeff: It's obvious, dude. She's a pro.

Anna: Are you kidding?

Do you think Chuck could afford her if she was a pro?

Morgan: All right, you know what, guys? Enough crapping about.

All right, break time's over, let's go.

Jeff: All right, who's up for a game of deer hunter?

Lester: Done.

Morgan: No, no, no, no, no.

Guys, guys, guys, work now, play later, okay?

We've got hard drives to fix.

Look at this place, come on. Let's go.

Lester: Oh, no.

Morgan: Oh, no what?

Jeff: The lock is broken, man.

You need a key to open it.

Morgan: Then get the key, jeff.

Jeff: There's only two keys.

Anna: Harry tang has one.

Lester: And old Chuck has the other one.

Yikes.

Where are you going?

Somebody get me-- anna help me!

John, get me out of here, please!

Chuck: h*t me again.

Casey: You stay.

Chuck: Stay?

Stay-- like a dog.

Woman: Beautiful painting.

Chuck: What's that?

Yeah, beautiful. Painting, yeah.

It definitely has a quality about it.

Very, I would say, bob rossian in its influence.

Woman: Who?

Chuck: Bob ross.

Bob ross, you know, bob ross.

The guy who used to paint on pbs.

With the afro and the soothing-- you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Woman: Sorry.

Chuck: It won't be the first time.

I'm malena.

Chuck; Hi. Chuck.

Charles.

Charles carmichael.

Malena: So you don't like the painting?

Chuck; No, I-I, it seems very lovely.

I just more interested in the frame, but that-- you don'T...

So sorry.

So sorry about this.

Work never leaves you alone.

I'm in the software game, 

Malena: so... so you were saying about the frame?

Chuck: Nothing, it doesn't really actually matter, sorry.

Malena: Champagne?

Sure, yeah. Thank you.

Cheers.

Cheers.

MI 6 tango : What's your real name? And who do you work for?

Malena: I love a tango.

Chuck: Oh, yeah.

Who doesn't?

Malena: Do you?

Chuck: Do-- oh, do I want to, uh... you know what, what the hell.

Yeah, let's give it a sh*t.

Mi 6 agent: What are you doing here?

Please don't lie. It'll make this much more painful.

Malena: Mr. Carmichael... 

Chuck: please.

Chuck.

Malena: Chuck, I think your hand is supposed to be on my hip.

Chuck: Right.

Uh, apparently, I learned the girl'spart of this dance.

Would you mind leading?

Not at all.

MI 6 agent: Federal agent. Don't move.

Don't you move.

International agents-- mi-6.

Sarah: Drop your g*n!

MI 6 agent: We're british secret service.

Casey: Lower your w*apon!

Mi 6 agent: Everyone take a deep breath.

I'm putting down my g*n, and I'm getting my identification.

Slowly.

Sarah: What are you doing here?

Mi 6 agent:?I could ask you the same thing.

We've been pursuing an arms dealer through five countries.

Casey: Let me guess. La ciudad?

Mi 6 agent: That's right.

Mi-6 intercepted a painting with plutonium hidden in the frame.

Rather than announce the bust, we removed the plutonium and kept the auction in the hope of luring ciudad.

Sarah: If you're not la ciudad, then where is he?

Morgan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, okay, listen to me, so, listen to me.

My friend is at some sort of art function at your hotel, okay?

Uh, now listen to me clearly.

I need to speak to him.

It's a matter of life and death.

Hotel employee: Describe your friend.

Morgan: He's good-looking.

You know, it depends on your angle, I suppose.

Uh, he's not classically handsome.

I wouldn't say he is, you know.

But he makes up for it with charm. Lots of, uh... of charm.

And he's kind of a lost soul.

Does this funny little thing when he's nervous.

He laughs. He goes... he kind of does this... uh, anyways, what, uh, what, what?

Uh, brown hair, six-one.

Does that help at all?

Chuck: What, uh... what line of work are you in, malena?

La ciudad: Why are you so interested, Mr. Carmichael?

Chuck: No reason. Just making conversation.

Hotel employee: Excuse me, sir.

Are you Chuck Bartowski?

Chuck: Who, me? No!

No, I'm carmichael.

Morgan: Uh, that's him. That's my... that's my friend.

I can hear his voice. Hey, Chuck!

Hotel employee: Are you sure you're not Mr. Bartowski?

Your friend insists.

Chuck; No, no, I insist.

I've never heard that name in my life.

I got to go. Excuse me.

La ciudad: Why don't we head up to my room now, Mr. Carmichael, and find out who you really are. okay.

Lester: Uh, so I guess we should regroup in the morning?

Jeff: Good idea.

Morgan: No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where you guys going?

Lester: Dude, it's just... it's out of my pay grade.

Jeff: I got to get some serious alcohol in me or I am never going to sleep.

Anna: I'm sorry, Morgan. Be strong.

Morgan: No, no, come on, guys, don't leave me in here with these computers.

You can hand me a slice, maybe some water.

I need to survive through the night, and I... not cool!

Malena: Let's start with an easy one.

What's your real name?

Chuck: Carmichael, charles carmichael.

Chuck Bartowski.

La coy dad: That wasn't so hard.

Now... before you answer my next question, I want you to think long and hard about my options here.

There's the old favorite-- yank out a tooth.

Too noisy. cut off a toe.

That's too messy.

Chuck: Far too messy.

La Ciudad: Or we can Chuck you off the balcony...

Chuck.

Probably landface first.

Teeth go through theback of your head. not a good way to go. So... here's my question: Who do you work for?

Chuck: No one.

No, no, stop, stop!

I fix computers for a living!

I swear to god!

I snuck into the party under a fake name to impress a girl!

Please, please, down... put chair down!

La Ciudad: Good-bye, Chuck.

Chuck: No, no, no, it's a setup!

La Ciudad: What is?

Chuck: The painting?

The painting.

The painting, I think.

I think the painting mightbe a fake or something.

La ciudad; Why?

Chuck: If you put me down I'll tell you.

I saw a photo of the painting in the L.A. Times, okay?

But it had a different frame.

So I'm assuming somebody maybe swapped it out, I don't know.

But if I were you, I would not buy that painting.

La ciudad: A fake painting.

And you had no intention of bidding on it?

Me? Bid on...

No, not unless they were selling it for 25 bucks.

I mean, that's about what I have in my decorating budget.

La Ciudad: Okay, tell me how to fix a computer, Chuck.

Chuck: My first inclination is that your bus speed is not up to snuff with your video card.

I'm assuming we're talking about a pc here, right?

Is your memory dedicated?

La ciudad: That's enough, Mr. Bartowski.

I believe you. the problem is since you've seen me, now I have to k*ll you.

Chuck: Have... have to, have to?

No, no, no, I disagree, I disagree... vehemently, vehemently.

No, no, no, I won't say anything, I swear to god.

You don't know the things I know about people.

La ciudad: Don't worry, it'll be fast.

Good-bye, Mr. Bartowski.

Sarah: I enjoyed our tango.

Casey: I didn't like it that much.

Sarah: Really?

Cases: He was kind of silly.

Sarah: Oh, I kind of liked him. Hi.

Alan: They're on to us.

The sec knows everything.

Shelly, they know about the caymans.

I surrender! I surrender!

Sarah: Get down, Chuck.

Chuck: Sarah!

Let's do this. 

Alan: oh, my god! 

Sarah: it's okay, Chuck.

Are you okay?

Chuck: Okay? Okay?

Two more seconds and I'd have been d*ad.

They were going to throw me off the balcony.

Casey: Did you tell them you work for us?

Chuck: Of course not.

Where the hell were you guys?

Casey: You're still alive.

I'd consider myself lucky.

URI: We have to get you out of the country.

La Ciudad: First we take him out.

Chuck: Hey.

Ellie: How was the big date?

Chuck: It was good, great, fine. I'm going to go to bed.

I love you.

Ellie: What?

No, no, no, no.

Is that all I get?

Come on, sit down.

I want to know, you know, do you like this girl?

Chuck: It'S... you know, it's complicated.

Ellie: Well, explain it to me slowly, I'll catch up.

Chuck: She's a very beautiful girl.

Ellie: Good. Go on.

Chuck: And she's very agile.

Ellie: I'm not sure how that applies, but continue.

And I think she's too exhausting for me.

Ellie: Well, what happened?

Did you guys tango?

Chuck: Oh, yeah, yeah. We tangoed.

In fact, we tangoed quite a bit, but awesome taught me the woman's part of the tango, so it was a little difficult, as one might expect.

Awesome: What's up, bro?

Did you do the famous dip?

Chuck: Yeah.

I was on the receiving end of that dip.

Awesome: You did tango witha woman, right?

Chuck: And on that note... 

Ellie: no, no, no, no, no. You're not getting off that easy.

Why won't you talk to me?

Chuck: It's... it's complicated, okay? Just let it go.

Ellie: Fine.

You don't want to talk to me, I suggest you find someone to talk to like maybe your idiot friend.

He's called about 75 times.

He locked himself in a storage cage.

Whatever that means.

Morgan; Oh, god! It's you.

Dude, dude, you have no idea.

Chuck: Okay, okay, okay.

Settle down, settle down, settle down.

Settle down it's all good. It's all good.

What happened?

Morgan: Oh, what happened?

Tang showed up, and he dropped all these off.

I guess he was stashing them, you know?

So... all right, let's do this.

Chuck: What are you talking... Morgan, you don't knowhow to fix a computer.

Moral support, man. Never... never leave your wingman, okay?

Morgan: Something your team could learn a little something about.

Chuck: Look, it's okay, man.

Go get some sleep, okay?

Morgan: Are you sure?

'Cause you say the word and we go down together.

Chuck: No. I appreciate that, but I think it'll be nice to do something I'm actually good at, so I'll see you.

Morgan: Fantastic. I'll see you later. Good night.

Chuck: Good night.

Big Mike: You finished, Bartowski?

Chuck: Mission accomplished.

Big mike: Two days was meant as an incentive.

I didn't think you'd really do it.

I'm impressed.

And I'm not a man easily impressed.

Why, I think you should know thatI only fixed the last few--my team did most of the work.

They deserve the credit.

And you're only as goodas your team, so...

Big mike: first rule of management: 

Always take credit.

Hope we can sell all this crap.

Sir, there's beena major infraction-- drinkingalcoholic beverages on the property.

Big mike: Nothing wrong with a man wetting his whistleevery once in a while.

Keep it out of thestore, Bartowski.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely, sir.

Big mike: You get extra points for style.

Looking sharp.

Harry: You look like a waiter. kiss-ass.

Morgan: Was I scared?

Yeah. Yeah, I was scared.

But then this survival instinct kicked in.

Something I didn'teven know I possessed.

A desire to live.

Good news is, I may be ableto retire off this, all right?

I talked to big mike.

I told him he'd be hearingfrom my attorney.

That cage isa major f*re hazard.

Casey: Chuck.

Good work last night.

Okay, you know what?

Chuck: I'm, I'm workingon an all-nighter here, big guy.

And I realize that you areprobably armed.

And so I'm gonna ask youvery nicely, would you please easeup on the sarcasm.

Casey: I wasn't being facetious.

You helped us find la ciudad.

Chuck: But she got away.

Casey: Yeah, we got a photofrom hotel security.

We got a blood samplefrom a broken window.

Our intel tell usshe's heading down to central america.

We have people waiting there.

You're lookin' sharp.

Chuck: Yeah, thanks.

Casey: That was facetious. Idiot.

Chuck: I fixed this one personally.

So it should begood as new.

And sorry about the delay.

Harry: Chuck, hiding from work again?

Chuck: I, uh, I-I thinkI dropped something.

Go away, harry!

Harry:,Oh, you wish I would. I'm not going anywhere, Chuck.

When you goto sleep at night, all you're gonna seeis tang in your face.

man: Excuse, please.

Where can I finda Chuck Bartowski?

Harry: Why, what's he done?

Because I need to speak to him.

Harry: Okay, well, if he's in any kind of trouble, let me know.

Chuck, you have a visitor.

Chuck?

Well, uh, maybe I can help you, sir.

Sarah: I think we have some company.

Casey: I'm on it.

Chuck: Chuck Bartowski, to the storage cage.

Chuck Bartowski, please report to the storage cage.

Where's the storage cage?

Casey: Oh, just through here, sir.

I'll show you. by the way we are having a big sale on refrigerators in case you didn't notice.

Where is he?

Where is Chuck Bartowski?

Casey: Sir, I'm just sales clerk.

Take me to him now! 

Chuck: oh, you!

You big 'ol guy... you think... that was so broken this morning.

Casey: Now that's what I call moving some merchandise, yeah?

Sarah: Yeah. hang here.

Morgan: Uh, charles irving bartowski of the encino bartowskis, could you please report to the returns desk.

Charles irving Bartowski... 

Chuck: what?

Morgan: Nothing, nothing. I'm just loving this thing, man.

You know what? We should get one for your apartment.

Oh, good news.

They fixed the lock on the storage cage, so... what?

Chuck: I'm really sorry, sis.

I-I know that I've been kind of evasive.

It's just that I...

I didn't want to lie to you and I chose not saying anything as being the lesser of two evils.

Ellie: Why would youhave to lie to me?

Chuck: Ellie, I just need youto trust me and know it has nothingto do with you.

Ellie: But you want me to butt out. I get it.

It's none of my business.

Chuck: No! No, no, no, no, I'm not saying that!

I'm not saying that. I-I...

I just don't want to create a false sense of excitement for a relationship that seems doomed.

Ellie:,Why is it doomed?

Chuck: Because she's not into me.

Ellie: Uh, trust me.

I have seen the way that that girl looks at you and she is into you.

Chuck: Really?

Ellie: It's none of my business.

Chuck: Okay, no.

Okay, fine. What the hell.

What do you, what do you want to ask me about Sarah?

Ellie: Really?

Chuck: You better hurry up. This offer will not last.

Ellie: Okay. Do you like her?

Chuck: Yeah.

Da-da-da-- no, no, unnecessary excitements.

Ellie: Sorry. Sorry.

Chuck; What else?

Ellie: That's it.

Chuck: That's it?

Ellie: Yeah.

Chuck, that's it.

I don't need to know the intimate details, okay?

As long as you're happy, that's enough for me.

And I don't, I don't want to nag you about your future and your job.

I don't want to be the sister that just pesters you into oblivion.

Chuck: No, no, no, no, you're, you're not a pest.

Ellie: I just know what an incredible guy charles Bartowski is and... and sometimes I'm not so sure that he knows it.

Chuck: How do you feel about a brother-sister hugsituation right now?

Ellie: I'm open to it.

Chuck: Okay. oh, I'll get iT.

Morgan: Sorry. I thought we had plans tonight, you know?

What is she doing here?

Chuck: What, uh, what gave you that impression?

Morgan: Uh, when you were leaving earlier and you were, like, see you later, dude.

Took you at your word.

It's cool if you don't want me to be here;that's fine.

Just gotta stop giving me mixed signals.

Chuck: Come on in.

Morgan: Super.

Awesome. What are we having?

Sarah: Here you go.

Chuck: Oh, thank you. Thank you.

You okay?

Sarah: Uh, occupational hazard.

She got in a lucky kick.

Congratulations on your first mission.

You did really good, Chuck.

Chuck: Stop it.

I'm not really a spy.

Your computer ended up in the head of a guy who only knows how to fix 'em, nothing else.

Sarah: You survived a near-death experience under the thr*at of t*rture and apprehended one of the world'smost elusive K*llers.

I'm not sure you what you think spies do exactly, but most of us would consider that a pretty good day.

Chuck: Okay, sure, so today I helped take down a major international arms dealer, but tomorrow, tomorrow I still gotta go clock in at buy more.

I mean, what's the good of being a hero if nobody knows about it?

Sarah: You know.

And so do I.

Chuck: You know, if we were really dating, this would be the part where I'd be forced to kiss you good night.

Sarah: Forced?

Would it be so bad?

Chuck: I'm sure I could suffer through it.

Sarah: Me, too.

Morgan: Man, that dude is creepy.

Chuck: Agreed.
{"type": "series", "show": "Chuck", "episode": "01x03 - Chuck Versus the Tango"}