Yuri: If you're really married, then prove it to me.

Yuri: Kiss right here and now.

Loid: If that's all it takes...

Yor: What?!

Yor: A kiss? A kiss?!

Yor: Doesn't that mean... um...

Yor: Oh, yes. I've read somewhere that your first kiss tastes like lemons.

Yor: That'll go perfectly with this marinated fish.

Yor: Calm down, Yor! Get a hold of yourself!

Loid: Here I go.

Yor: O-O-O-One second, please.

Yor: There is no way I can do this sober.

Yor: Fank you for waiting...

Loid: Uh... right.

Loid: We don't have to do this if you don't want to.

Yor: This ish for my sake, as well. I will do my besht.

Yuri: What are you two whispering about?!

Yuri: Can you do it or not?!

Yuri: Prove to me that you're really a married couple!

Yor: Keep your mouf shut, Yuri.

Yor: We will now show you just how in wuv we are.

Yor: Here I come, darling.

Yor: Now, cwose your eyes.

Yuri: S-Sis!

Loid: Um... Yor?

Sign: SHOW OFF HOW IN LOVE YOU ARE

Yor: Sis...

Yuri: How lewd!

Little Yuri: Sis!

Little Yuri: Look! I scored the highest in my whole class!

Yor: Oh, how wonderful!

Yor: I'll reward you with a kiss.

Yor: Smooch!

Little Yuri: Sis...

Little Yuri: When I grow up...

Little Yuri: I'm gonna marry you.

Yor: Oh, my.

Yor: Then I guess I'll just have to wait patiently for you.

flashback Yor (Echo): ...wait patiently for you. ...wait patiently for you.

flashback Yor (Echo): ...wait patiently for you. ...wait patiently for you.

Yuri: You...

Yuri: You can't, Sis!

Yuri: Seeing you kiss another man in front of me is just...

Yuri: I won't allow—

Yor: Oh, I knew it...

Yor: I just can't!

Yuri: —itpppppbt!

Yor: No!

Anya: Izzit the end of the world?

Yor: Huh?! Um, Yuri?

Yuri: I see how it is, Sis.

Yuri: You're going to treat me like that just because I tried to stop you from kissing him.

Yuri: I guess you just couldn't wait to do naughty things with him!

Yuri: I was a fool to test you.

Yuri: Perhaps my feelings were what was truly being tested here!

Loid: Um... more importantly, you're bleeding.

Yuri: Loid Forger... You may lay claim on my sister's lips for now.

Yor: Wha—

Yor: What are you talking about?!

Yuri: Right... Well, I'll let you off the hook for today.

Yuri: But just remember—

Loid: No, really. You're bleeding.

Loid: Is this just normal for the Briars?

Yor: Are you all right, Yuri? You're about to fall over.

Yuri: I'm fine.

Loid: Did you really just say that?

Yuri: Well, so are you, Sis.

Yor: Shall I call you a taxi?

Yuri: I'm fine. You're such a worrywart, Sis.

Loid: Whoa, there!

Yuri: Wipe that smirk off your face!

Yuri: Are my failures that amusing to you?!

Loid: Er, no. I was just admiring what lovely siblings you are.

Loid: You must have always been there for each other.

Loid: Yuri, thank you for protecting Yor up until now.

Loid: I'm sure you've been through many hardships.

Loid: I'll also do everything I can to be there for her from now on,

Loid: so let's do everything we can to make sure Yor is happy.

Yuri: Like I'd ever ask for your help!

Yuri: Forget it! I'm going home!

Loid: Feel free to come over anytime!

Loid: I'm sure that'll make Yor happy.

Loid: You should come when my daughter's awake next time.

Yor: Miss Anya was doing everything she could to stay up to meet you.

Yor: She's absolutely precious, so I hope you'll play with her.

Yuri: I don't need him to invite me! I'll be back!

Yuri: Next time, I'll prove that you're tricking my sister!

Yor: I am not being tricked!

Yuri: Now, hear me, Loid Forger.

Yuri: If you make my sister cry even a little bit,

Yuri: I will have you ex—

Yuri: Um... well, you know.

Yuri: Just know that you'll rue the day!

Yor: Be careful getting home, dear!

Yuri: Sis!

Yor: Be mindful of your yelling! It'll disturb the neighbors!

Loid: Was he about to say he'd have me ex*cuted?

Loid: I should be careful.

Loid: Any wiretaps?

Loid: Looks like we're clear.

Loid: Since he's with the secret police...

Loid: Well, because he's her brother, he may just try that.

Loid: I need to be on my guard.

Yor: Loid, thank you very much.

Yor: I'm a bit embarrassed to say so,

Yor: but thank you for welcoming him into your family, despite his rudeness.

Loid: Yuri clearly loves you very much, Yor.

Loid: I don't have any family or friends I can rely on, other than my daughter,

Loid: so I admit that I was a little envious of you two.

Yor: Loid...

Loid: Though my daughter is also just part of a pretend family.

Loid: Well, anyway. I'm glad he didn't find out about our pretend marriage.

Yor: Yes.

Yor: I'm suddenly very tired, now that I'm relieved.

Yor: Why don't we head to bed after we clean up?

Loid: Er, in separate beds, of course! I'll change things back!

Yor: R-Right.

Anya: Papa... Pwease save Earth...

Yor: Now, Yuri... You'll make me mad if you h*t Loid...

Loid: I can't remember the last time I felt envious of another.

Loid: I should sleep. I'm sure I'm just exhausted.

Loid: Yet my mission still continues on tomorrow.

Yuri: I beg your pardon.

Yuri: Which way is the station?

Passerby A&B: Get to the hospital first, pal!

Anya: Morning, pwease.

Anya: You seem very green today, Papa.

Loid: Quit talking in your sleep and go wash your face.

Yor: Good morning!

Yor: It's too bad you didn't get to meet Yuri yesterday.

Anya: Who's that?

Yor: Huh?! But she was so looking forward to meeting him!

Loid: Things sure did get lively yesterday.

Yor: I'm very sorry.

Loid: Who'd have thought Yor's brother would be like that?

Anya: Oh! Unkie!

Loid: And he's part of the secret police, my greatest foe as a spy.

Anya: S-Secret police?!

Anya: What's that?

Anya: "Secret" plus "police"...

Anya: That sounds so exciting!

Anya: Why didn't you introduce me to him?!

Anya: Gimme back the excitement I wasted!

Loid: You wanted to meet him that badly?

Loid: Well, at least the storm has passed for now.

Loid: I need to concentrate on Anya's education.

Loid: Come on, hurry up and eat. You'll be late.

Anya: Om... nom...

Yor: Don't worry, you'll see be able to see him soon.

Loid: Has the thr*at truly passed?

Loid: Yor Briar, whose younger brother is a member of the secret police...

Loid: Previously, there was nothing suspicious surrounding her.

Loid: She didn't seem to know what her brother's true occupation is,

Loid: so my intuition says she's still clear.

Loid: Besides, if she knew her brother worked at the State Security Service,

Loid: there'd be no concern over suspicions arising about her being single.

Loid: No, it's dangerous to be too certain.

Loid: What if she was just acting and this was all a lie to get closer to me?

Loid: Suspect everything, Twilight.

Anya: Papa, Mama is...

Loid: What is it?

Anya: Mama is...

Anya: bad at cooking.

Yor: So it was obvious that I made breakfast this morning!

Yor: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

Yor: I did do my best.

Loid: Ah, by the way, Yor...

Yor: Yes?

Loid: Er, I just...

Loid: I guess putting a listening device on her is going too far.

Loid: No, I need to silence any doubts now.

Loid: Even a moment's carelessness could mean death.

Loid: It could also mean the lives of tens of thousands of people.

Loid: I need to do this to prove Yor's innocence.

Loid: You've got something on your neck.

Yor: Huh? Thank you very much.

Yor: That startled me. I thought he was going to give me a kiss goodbye.

Anya: Wha?!

Yor: I s-still haven't forgotten about last night...

Yor: I can't kiss or even cook.

Yor: Loid managed to smooth things over last night,

Yor: but I'm probably not acting like a proper wife.

Yor: I may be imagining it, but Loid seems a bit more distant today.

Yor: Maybe he's gotten sick of me being so disappointing.

Loid: I need to be on my guard.

Loid: What's the matter, Anya?

Anya: Mama and Papa need to get along.

Loid: W-Well, we aren't fighting or anything.

Yor: Th-That's right.

Loid: And you make sure you get along with your classmates.

Anya: Yep.

Loid: We should get going, too.

Yor: Oh, right.

Loid: Children are so curiously observant at times.

First Lieutenant: Hey, Yuri.

First Lieutenant: Why are you covered in bandages?

First Lieutenant: Didn't you go celebrate your sister's wedding yesterday?

Yuri: I don't really remember what happened.

First Lieutenant: You probably got drunk and picked a fight with her husband.

First Lieutenant: You really need to quit drinking.

Yuri: Well, I can't let a guy like that be with my sister.

First Lieutenant: Was he that disagreeable?

Yuri: I think...

Yuri: he was...

Yuri: a good guy.

Yuri: But con men and spies always try to act like good people.

Yuri: That's it! Hopefully he's a spy! Then I can throw him in a cell!

First Lieutenant: Calm down. Do you have any proof of this?

Yuri: Shit!

Yuri: I totally forgot to bug their living room and bedrooms!

Yuri: Wait, no!

Yuri: If I happened to hear Sis's voice in those situations,

Yuri: my heart wouldn't be able to bear it!

First Lieutenant: Did you give yourself those injuries?

First Lieutenant: You need to detach from your sister so you can concentrate on your work more.

First Lieutenant: Our job is to capture

First Lieutenant: spies from the West, namely, Twilight.

First Lieutenant: Because that will lead to your sister's safety.

Yuri: I know that. For now...

Yuri: Loid Forger, the day you make my sister cry...

Camilla: What's with her?

Millie: She said something like, "I'm a failure of a wife."

Sharon: Heya.

Millie: Oh, Sharon.

Sharon: Huh? How do you become a good wife?

Sharon: Are you two not getting along?

Yor: Well, it's not exactly that...

Yor: It's just... This is my first time being with a man in general,

Yor: It's just... This is my first time being with a man in general,

Yor: so I'm unsure of how to act.

Loid: I was curious when I looked into her past connections,

Loid: but I guess Yor has really never dated a man before.

Yor: I'm worried that things can't go on like this.

Yor: It doesn't help that I can't cook.

Loid: Anya's words really got to her.

Loid: It appears that Yor is trying to seem more wifely for the sake of our pretend family.

Loid: No, wait.

Loid: She could also be trying to act like the perfect wife to put one over on me.

Camilla: It must be rough when your husband is clearly so much better than you.

Millie: Why don't you two just call it quits?

Yor: Er, I'd like to avoid that.

Loid: Yor's relationship with her coworkers seems a bit, er, uh...

Section Chief: Hey, you four!

Section Chief: Hey, you four!

Section chief: Quit yapping and get to work.

Camilla: Gah! It's the section chief.

Section Chief: Say, Yor...

Section Chief: Could you go drop this off at the post office for me?

Yor: Yes, sir.

Loid: I guess I'll have to make a move if I want to clear the air for good.

Yor: Come to think of it, Loid and I have separate bank accounts.

Yor: If I contributed a bit of my earnings from my actual job,

Yor: would I be able to help Loid out?

Yor: But I can't make him suspicious of me, either.

Yor: Not to mention, I don't think this was really a financial issue...

Fake Lieutenant: You there. I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Fake lieutenant: May we have a bit of your time?

Yor: Th-The secret police!

Yor: D-Did I do something wrong, sir?

Yor: Was I being far too suspicious by looking at ads meant for families,

Yor: when I'm clearly lacking as a wife?

Yor: I-I-I'm married!

Fake Second Lieutenant: We're not hitting on you.

Franky: What the hell is this?!

Franky: You call me outta nowhere and tell me to dress like this

Franky: so we can question your wife?!

Loid: Just shut up and follow the plan. This is all for my mission.

Franky: I've got nothing to do with that!

Fake lieutenant: We are inspecting the mail.

Fake lieutenant: You just tried to mail this...

Fake lieutenant: But it clearly contains a code meant for the West.

Fake Lieutenant: Is the sender, Burns, your superior?

Yor: Y-Yes.

Fake second lieutenant: What is your name?

Yor: Yor Bri—

Yor: I-It's Yor Forger.

Fake second lieutenant: Well, well, well... Yor Forger, eh?

Fake second lieutenant: It clearly states your name right here as a collaborator!

Fake Lieutenant (Loid): He's really into this.

Fake Lieutenant: So you're in cahoots.

Yor: I-I have no idea about this. This must be some kind of mistake.

Fake Second Lieutenant: You'd be better off if you told the truth.

Fake Lieutenant: Speaking of city hall, someone from the finance department was caught the other day.

Fake lieutenant: Clearly, the corruption within has spread far and wide.

Fake second Lieutenant: I heard he met a pitiful end.

Fake second lieutenant: The intense t*rture got to him physically and ment*lly,

Fake second lieutenant: and he apparently offed himself in his cell.

Fake second lieutenant: And I heard last month, they caught another woman around this chick's age.

Fake second lieutenant: You know, that official's secretary.

Fake Lieutenant (Loid): What kind of characterization is he going for?

Fake lieutenant: Ah, her.

Fake lieutenant: She was freed once we found out she had family in State Security Service.

Fake second lieutenant: Man, talk about an awesome benefit.

Fake second lieutenant: Our family members can be let off the hook of most allegations.

Fake lieutenant: Enough talking. You'll be coming with us to the station.

Loid: If she's aware that Yuri works for the State Security Service,

Loid: this will all be solved as soon as she mentions Yuri's name.

Loid: There's no reason for her to be secretive to one of his coworkers,

Loid: and if she resists, she'll further make us suspicious.

Loid: Come on, Yor. If you're in on this, ask your brother for help.

Loid: And if you're not...

Yor: I...

Yor: work hard every day for the citizens of this country.

Yor: I would never participate in espionage!

Fake second lieutenant: No use playing dumb with us!

Fake second lieutenant: Just shut up and come with—

Fake second lieutenant: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Yor: I'm quite certain I mentioned that I was married.

Yor: Please do not touch me so casually.

Fake lieutenant: You do realize you're putting your family in danger by doing this, don't you?

Yor: My younger brother and husband are both kind

Yor: and upstanding members of society.

Yor: If you ever unjustly harm either of them,

Yor: I frankly do not care if I'm dealing with you two.

Yor: I will show no mercy!

Fake Lieutenant: Hey, Second Lieutenant Mop...

Fake lieutenant: Are you certain about this cipher?

Fake second lieutenant: What? Of course I'm—

Fake second lieutenant: What the?!

Fake second lieutenant: Looking closer, this is clearly not the raccoon cipher.

Fake second lieutenant: It's the caterpillar cipher!

Fake lieutenant: If we decode this message...

Fake lieutenant: This is a letter Burns sent to a renowned hemorrhoids doctor.

Yor: Huh?

Fake lieutenant: I see. He used a cipher because he was embarrassed.

Fake lieutenant: How confusing.

Fake lieutenant: So, yes, it would appear we had the wrong idea.

Fake lieutenant: Your name isn't on here at all.

Fake lieutenant: You may leave, but make sure you keep quiet about this for Mr. Burns's sake, too.

Franky: Well, that was quite the farce.

Franky: Considering how she acted, it's pretty clear she has no connections with the secret police.

Franky: Hey, come on. Don't tell me you feel guilty for doubting her.

Loid: I don't.

Franky: I've warned you about this before, but don't develop unnecessary feelings for her.

Franky: If you value your life, don't trust anyone.

Franky: We have no other way to survive.

Loid: Somehow, it's extremely infuriating to hear those words from that face.

Franky: But you made that face!

Franky: Damn it! I thought I could land a few chicks with that face on.

Franky: My precious hot-guy face!

Loid: It's a terrible idea to date a woman while deceiving her.

Franky: Did you really just say that?

Yor: Today was terribly nerve-wracking.

Yor: I was almost arrested, meaning not only would I be ruined as a wife,

Yor: but I would've destroyed the Forgers.

Loid: Oh, hello, Yor.

Yor: Loid...

Loid: What a coincidence. Why don't we go home together?

Loid: Oh? There's something on your collar again, Yor.

Yor: I'm so sorry.

Yor: Apparently, I'm such a failure as wife that I can't even keep up proper appearances.

Loid: Well, if you ask me, Yor...

Loid: Perhaps many families throughout this world are somehow putting on an act,

Loid: thinking, "A wife should be like this," or, "You're supposed to be the parent."

Loid: Of course, I believe that working hard to be your best self is admirable.

Loid: But if you dwell on that so much that you lose yourself,

Loid: things that should go well might fall apart.

Loid: Many people suffering like that come to my hospital all the time.

Loid: Putting on an act all the time can become tiring.

Yor: Loid...

Loid: And that's why I want you to be as you are, Yor.

Loid: The more confident you seem, the less people will suspect anything.

Loid: And I'm sure Anya will be happier seeing you smile.

Yor: Thank you very much. I...

Yor: I'm truly grateful that I married you, Loid!

flashback Franky: Don't tell me you feel guilty for doubting her.

Yor: What did you just throw away?

Loid: Oh, just the lint I found on your collar earlier.

Loid: More importantly,

Loid: we didn't even do anything to celebrate our one-year wedding anniversary.

Loid: Why don't we buy some cake on our way home?

Yor: That's a lovely idea!

Anya: Papa, Mama! I have returned!

Yor: Welcome home, Miss Anya.

Loid: What's the matter?

Anya: Papa and Mama are getting along!

Loid: I told you that we were never fighting to begin with.

Yor: We have cake, Miss Anya!

Anya: I want some cake!

Loid: Hey, now. You're going to bother the people downstairs.

Sign: THE GREAT DODGEBALL PLAN
{"type": "series", "show": "Spy \u00d7 Family", "episode": "01x09 - Show Off How in Love You Are"}