What the... ?

Agent: Where do you think you're going?

I mean, you just don't think I can let you...

Angry woman: Excuse me?

Is there a trick to getting some help around here?

Chuck: Other then being charming and beautiful, no, ma'am.

Angry woman: I need to know which of these to buy-- the 3000-z or the 3000-z-x.

Chuck: Excellent question.

Uh, you need to talk to one of our green shirts about that.

I can actually call one to assist you.

I'm not a salesman.

I'm actually part of the nerd herd.

Angry woman: You must be so proud of yourself.

Chuck: I wouldn't go so far as to say proud.

So sorry.

One minute.

I'll be right back.

Chanting: Mystery crisper.

Chuck: Guys, sorry, sorry to break up...

Lester: You want in? It's gonna cost you five bucks.

Chuck: What's going on?

Morgan: Final round. Mystery crisper.

Chanting: Mystery crisper! Mystery crisper!

Jeff: The great crisper, where employee food goes to die.

Lester: Put the shield down 

♪♪♪♪

Chuck; Guys, there's going to be a riot on the sales floor if you don't get back to work.

Chuck, shut up.

♪♪

♪♪♪♪

Lester: He's got it?

He's the man, the man.

He wants his w*apon.

Anna; Morgan is so awesome. He can eat anything.

Big Mike: Bartowski.

Chuck: Yeah! Yes!

Big Mike: I need to see you in my office.

Chuck: I-i was just on my way.

Harry: Daddy mad, Chuck. Daddy mad.

Might as well kiss that promotion good-bye.

Big Mike: Get in here, Bartowski.

Chuck; Yes, sir.

Big Mike: Tell me...

What's the best part of being buy more brass?

Chuck: The power?

The money?

The ladies?

Big Mike; The medical.

I couldn't give a rodent's behind about this job.

But this...

My body is my temple.

And I must treat it as such.

Chuck: Is that... Is that all, sir?

'Cause i-i really should, uh, get back to work.

Big mike: No, that is not all. Sit down.

Chuck: Okay.

Big Mike: There's a guy coming in here from corporate to interview you and tang for the assistant manager spot.

Now tang has the charm of a prostate exam.

For some reason, people seem to like you.

If the hr guy likes you, the job is yours.

So is the medical.

Don't screw up.

Chuck: I'll, uh, I'll do my best.

Big mike: Make sure Morgan does his best, too.

That kid is gonna be the anchor around your neck, Bartowski.

Chuck: What, we don't have enough actual cobwebs already?

Ellie: I'm getting ready for our annual halloween party.

What time are you getting here?

Chuck: Oh, you know what, I might be late.

They finally scheduled that promotional-interview thing for that afternoon.

Ellie: We can just make it an assistant manager party, too, then.

Chuck: Sure, yeah, if you feel like jinxing it.

Ellie: You're just finally growing up, aren't you?

Do you think that this year would be a good time for you and Morgan to have separate costumes?

Chuck: Excuse me, but what's wrong with our costume?

Ellie: Um, I'm sorry, but the whole two-man-sea-cucumber-thing is kind of creepy.

Chuck: First of all, it's a sandworm, okay?

Shai-hulud, to be specific.

And second of all, dune fans have been going nuts over our costume since the eighth grade.

Devon: Yo Chuckster.

Guess what I am?

Chuck: You're... Naked?

Devon: I'm adam.

You know, like adam and eve, adam.

Wait till you see my snake.

Chuck: I don't want to see your snake.

Ellie: Devon, Chuck here has an interview on wednesday.

Devon; That is outstanding.

Chuck: I gotta... Excuse me.

Hello? Hello?

Big Mike: I'm getting tense!

You know I don't like being tense.

Chuck; How can I help you relax, big mike?

Big mike: Find that jackass Morgan.

Your buddy's supposed to be working a double shift today and went awol.

Chuck: Hey, hey, buddy, Morgan.

Morgan: Where you been? What's up, buddy?

Yes.

Chuck: Where have you been? I've been trying to call you.

Morgan: I, uh, I picked up the sandworm costume from the dry cleaners.

The ranch dressing from last year totally came out, so we're all good.

You ready to win another buy more costume contest?

Chuck: No. No, no, 'cause you're supposed to be at work, buddy.

Morgan: Dude, I got ten big ones riding on this quote-unquote videogame, so can I just have, uh...

This guy's been handing me my ass all week.

Time to return the favor.

♪♪♪♪

Chuck: Uh, Morgan.

Morgan: Yeah, buddy?

Chuck: Morgan, this guy is dangerous.

Morgan: Well, Morgan's dangerous, chucky. Morgan's dangerous.

Oh, what a baby.

What a loser.

Lazslo: How did you find me? How did you find me?

Who else knows I'm here?

Who do you work for?

Chuck: No one. No one. Let me go.

Look, I don't know what you're talking about.

Lazslo: I know you're a spy!

Your watch?

I designed that watch for the CIA.

Are there other agents waiting for me outside?

Are there other agents waiting for me outside?

Morgan; You're not sneaking away from me.

Wait, whoa, whoa.

You still owe me ten bucks!

Chuck: Morgan! Morgan!

Morgan: Whoa, hey, you still owe me ten dollars!

Chuck. S01E06

Chuck; Hey.

Um, is Sarah here?

Devon: She's waiting in your room.

Ellie:  Is everything okay?

Devon: Said she had a surprise for you.

 Get in there, slugger.

Chuck: Hey.

Who is this lazslo character? He just id'd me as an agent.

Sarah:,Relax. We're looking into him. And you did the right thing.

Chuck: I... I didn't do anything.

I just flashed on the guy.

Sarah: You followed protocol, and I'm going to check in with you first thing in the morning.

Chuck: Wait, wait. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Wait, um...

Look, if it's cool with you, could you hang out for a little while?

Look, awesome and Ellie think that I'm...

Kind of getting lucky in here, and I wouldn't want to disappoint...

Them.

Sarah; Uh, how long do you want me to stay?

Chuck; 42 minutes and 15 seconds?

Arcade f*re's first album.

It's like an auditory aphrodisiac.

You're not really ready for it yet.

Here we go.

And...

Why were you waiting for me in my room, anyway?

Sarah: Well, I wanted to surprise you.

Uh, it's, uh, it's us at comic-con.

What do you think?

Chuck; It's... It's great.

But we've never actually been to comic-con, have we?

Wow, we...

We actually look like a real couple.

Sarah: Well, we are a real couple.

We're just a different sort of a couple.

Chuck: That we are.

Casey: You!

What do I have to do to get timely intel out of you, Bartowski?

Chuck: Look, I briefed Sarah last night, all right?

Casey: Oh, I bet you did, slugger.

Chuck: I thought we were all supposed to be part of the same team here, huh-- team Chuck.

Casey: We are, but I'm starting to feel like the guy who always gets picked last, and I do not like feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid.

Chuck: Okay, you know what, the next time I have a flash, i'll come straight to you, all right, Casey?

Casey: What did you tell lazslo?

Chuck: Nothing.

He asked me where I got my watch, and I told him my girlfriend gave it to me, okay?

Casey: So you compromised yourself and agent walker?

Bang up job, Chuck.

Chuck: And so now you and your son are ready to video-chat.

Sweet old lady: Thank you, young man.

You've been-- great heavens!

Morgan: This is a whale-tail.

Notice this illusive creature, seen here frolicking in her natural habitat-- any sudden movement would- 

Chuck: give Me, give me this.

Come on, come on.

Get, shoo, shoo, shoo.

Have fun, go find the video games.

Morgan; What was that about, man?

Come on, I was this close to closing a sale.

Chuck; No. You know what you are, Morgan?

You are this close to getting fired for sexual harassment.

Morgan: What happened, Chuck? You used to be cool.

Chuck: I-i used to be cool?

When was that? When we were 13?

Well, I'm sorry to go changing on you, buddy.

But if you hadn't noticed, we are now chronologically-speaking, adults.

So, unless you wanna work retail for the rest of your life, and by the way, drag me down with you in the Process, I would suggest that you grow up.

Lester: "Heavy is the head that wears the crown." couldn't help but notice the way you handled that, uh, Morgan situation.

That was most impressive, Chuck.

Chuck: That's great, that's great.

Jeff:,You gave me goose bumps.

Chuck: Super, jeff.

Beckman: The intersect was correct to alert us.

We've been looking for lazslo mahnovski since he escaped from los robles national labs last month.

Casey: Who is he?

Beckman: w*apon designer. Government brain.

The target graduated college age 14.

Ph. D. At 17.

Been with us ever since, working for a clandestine engineering subcontractor.

Lazslo's not the kind of asset we can afford to lose to our enemies.

Casey; Grade-a egghead. Got it.

What do you want me to do with him?

Beckman: Bring him in. And take caution.

Casey: What, is he gonna hurt me with his mind?

Beckman: Well, here's what he did to his handlers.

Chuck: Nice try, buddy, but, uh, halloween's tomorrow, okay?

Or today, or today.

It could be today if you want it to be today.

Lazslo: I didn't k*ll anybody.

Chuck: Look, i-i never said you did.

Lazslo: Then why am I on the fbi list?

Chuck: I don't know. Just calm down.

Lazslo: I was framed, okay.

You have to believe me. I am not a m*rder.

Chuck: Okay, okay. I believe you.

But, fyi... you’re kind of acting like a m*rder 

♪♪♪

Lazslo: You told the undercover agent about me, didn't you?

He's talking to pentagon operations right now.

I tapped into the encrypted video feed at the store.

I helped design that home theater system.

Chuck: Look, i-i-i don't know-- g*n!

Get it. Get it. Get it.

I got it, I got it. I got it.

Is that a water g*n?

Lazslo: No.

Chuck: I'm pretty sure it's dripping on my face.

Laszlo: I'm sorry.

Name's lazslo.

And I need help.

Chuck: What the hell am I supposed to do?

Laszlo: You're on the inside.

You have access.

Look, unless you help me clear my name, they're gonna keep chasing me.

You're my only hope.

But first...

I could really use some pancakes.

Ellie: Hey, where's Chuck?

Shouldn't you guys be practicing your snake dance?

Morgan: It's a sandworm, and...

Chuck's not here, 'cause he's probably off doing something really mature like seeing an opera.

Or reading.

Devon: Come on, babe, let's help the little guy out.

Chuck: What else did you make for the CIA?

Laszlo; Whatever the jobs called for actually.

I mean, if an agent wanted thermal-vision ray bans or he wanted a parachute disguised as a backpack, i'm the Guy they call.

Chuck: You're like a real-life q?

You know.

You know q.

The guy who used to make all the gadgets for bond, q?

Laszlo: Bond was that spy-guy, right?

Chuck: What, have they been keeping you in a friggin' cave?

Laszlo: Underground lab actually.

For the last 10 years, all I did was work in that lab pretty much.

Well, that and play video games.

But, uh...

No friends, no family.

Chuck: No bond.

No wonder you blew up all your research and busted out there.

That's just inhumane.

Laszlo: So what kind of work do you do?

Chuck: You know, it's kinda, it's kinda, uh, complicated.

Laszlo: Right, but you gotta be some kind of a genius.

Or prodigy?

I mean feds don't bother recruiting somebody, guarding them with undercover agents, unless you're super-good At sometthing?

What are you super-good at?

Chuck: Let's just say I'm a computer-guy.

Morgan: Ellie, let me ask you a question.

Am I the kind of person you'd categorize as...

Immature?

Ellie: Do you really want me to answer that?

Morgan: Yes.

Be straight with me. f*re away both barrels.

Devon: Would you mind stepping in the kitchen for a moment, Morgan?

I'll handle this one, honey.

Morgan: Ellie's room.

Devon: There comes a time in every man's life when he reaches, well, a crossroads.

A time when he must ask himself...

Am I a tucker?

Talking about your shirt, Morgan.

I wasn't always a tucker, you know.

Then one day, it just happened.

Morgan: How do you, how do you know it's time?

Devon: You just feel it. Go ahead. x Tuck her in. See how she feels.

Morgan: I don't know.

No, I'm, I'm just kinda happy with how my shirts hang there.

Devon: Come on.

You're safe in here.

Tuck her in.

Morgan: I don't if I'm, i-

Devon; do it. 

Devon: Mm-hmm.

Morgan: I don't know, i-i kinda feel like my, my junk's out there for the whole world to see.

Devon: Maybe that's the point, Morgan.

Maybe that's the point.

If there's one thing to being a man, it's always speaking your mind.

Whatever the cost.

Always be direct, open and honest.

Morgan: When I was 12, I hid under Ellie's bed, so I could watch her undress.

Devon; Excellent.

Morgan: What are you looking at?

Devon: Your hair.

It's time to tame the mane, buddy.

Let's talk product.

I gotta finish the job.

I'm sorry.

Morgan: Hey, who's that handsome guy in the mirror?

Laszlo: This is great.

I mean just being able to sit in a coffee shop and talk.

Chuck:,Just talk.

Laszlo: With somebody who knows what it's like working for the company.

You know, if I had to do it over again, I never would have gone to that pier.

Chuck: What pier?

Laszlo: I was 11...

And...

Some agent saw me playing tetris at an arcade.

So he asked me if I can take all these tests.

The next thing I know, he's offering to pay my way through school.

My parents, like, they didn't know what to do with a kid whose iq is higher than both theirs combined.

So they signed me over.

And that's when I became property of the united states government.

Sweet story, huh?

I'm a little, I'm a little strapped.

You know how government work pays.

Chuck: Dude, yeah.

No, no, no, no, don't even worry about it.

Laszlo: Here. Here's an iou.

Chuck: Thanks.

Laszlo: Chuck, listen you can't tell your handlers you ever saw me.

Chuck: What? Why?

They can help you, lazslo. They're the good guys.

Laszlo: There's no such thing in this business.

I mean, you don't believe me?

Go home and search your room.

See what kind of bugs your good guy handlers planted on you.

From now on, you should trust your handlers precisely as much as they trust you.

Chuck: What the hell are these?

Casey: Seems you already know, Chuck.

Chuck: I can't believe you've been prying into my most intimate moments...

You know what?

I swear to god, if I find out you've been spying on my sister, I will k*ll you, Casey.

Casey: Intimate moments?

Not really an issue thus far.

At least, not in the sense of traditional two-person intimacy.

Chuck; He-he-he.

Do you have any idea how violated I feel right now?

Casey: You feel violated?

No, no, no, my ears feel violated.

'Cause they have to listen to you and that moron Morgan yammering on for four hours about what sandwich You're gonna take if you were stranded on a deserted island.

Chuck: What are you nuts?

Nobody was talking about sandwiches for four hours.

Come on.

Chuck: Think about it-- this is a desert island, Morgan.

Mayonnaise simply doesn't fare well in the tropics--

Morgan: Oh, yeah, but define sandwich.

'Cause technically you can put anything between two slices of bread.

For instance, could I bring...

A jessica alba sandwich to said desert island?

Chuck: I-i suppose.

Well, I'll have you know, I stand by my mayonnaise theory.

And you're still a giant douche for spying on me like that.

Casey: Well, if it's any comfort, Chuck, we planted those bugs to protect you.

How did you find the surveillance, anyway?

Chuck: Oh, a little birdie named lazslo told me. What?

Casey: You contacted lazslo and didn't tell me?

Chuck: I'm sorry, Casey.

Did I violate your trust?

Sarah: Willkommen to wienerlicious.

Agent scary: I'm sorry, but we're geschlossen-- and that's german for "closed."

That's really adorable.

Nice cover, agent walker.

You ve a sec?

Laszlo: Hello, Chuck.

What did you tell your handler?

Chuck: I told him you were innocent, okay?

I told him, I thought you were innocent.

And I think the best thing for you to do is go and turn yourself in.

They can help you.

Laszlo: Forget it, Chuck.

It doesn't even matter.

Chuck: Of course it matters.

Isn't this what you wanted?

Laszlo: They went through the trouble of framing me for m*rder.

What's going to happen when they get me back?

A slap on the wrist?

There's got to be someplace you can hide me.

Just for tonight.

Chuck: There is one place.

Sarah: So this kid just escaped?

Agent Scary: Look, we tried everything we could to prevent this whole thing from happening.

Sarah: And what exactly is this?

Agent scary; A ment*lly unstable w*apon designer, off his meds, and currently running around los angeles.

Sarah: And how do you know all this?

Agent Scary: Lazslo was my asset.

I was the one who found him.

I was the one who trained him, and I'm definitely the one who's going to be bringing him back.

Look, I'm just going to be completely straight with you, walker.

We believe that he is looking to make a b*mb.

And god help whoever's in his way when lazslo decides to go off.

Chuck: Welcome to buy more.

♪♪

Laszlo: This is great!

I'll be out before you guys open.

And if everything works out, you will never see me again.

Thank you, Chuck, for everything.

I really appreciate it.

Chuck: Yeah, definitely.

Good luck disappearing, lazslo.

Laszlo: Yeah.

Oh, and I hope you don't mind, I kind of helped myself to the...

To the bond ouevre.

Chuck: Oh, check you out.

A view to a k*ll?

Laszlo: That's a bold choice. Why? Is it a good one?

Chuck: Oh, dude, christopher walken playing some evil n*zi villain?

Grace jones as some a 'roid rage sex assassin?

I think, actually, on second thought, i'm going to stay for the beginning.

Laszlo: Sit.

Laszlo: Who is it?

Chuck: Uh, it's my handler, Sarah.

Laszlo: Chuck, you got to turn it off.

Please, Chuck, she could be tracking us.

You don't understand. If you turn me in to your handlers, it's like signing my death warrant.

Give me your watch.

Chuck: Why? 

Laszlo: Give me your watch.

I need to disable the transponder.

Chuck: Disable the transponder? transponder Yeah, but how would you do that?

Here you go.

You were right about the bugs, by the way.

God knows what they put in my car.

Laszlo: I've got a pretty good idea.

I broke into it earlier, disabled the gps system.

Chuck: How did you...

You designed my car.

Laszlo: Just think, Chuck.

Right now, there is no one in the entire world who knows where we are. 

Sarah: come on, Chuck. Pick up the phone.

Voice message: Hey, it's Chuck.

I'll call you right back. 

Sarah: damn it.

Chuck, I want you to go to your car, lock the doors and wait for me.

Chuck: What did I tell you?

Max zorin is one of the greatest bad guys of all time.

Laszlo: You think walken was the bad guy?

Chuck: What, are you kidding?

I mean, he did try to sink california into the pacific ocean.

What do you think?

Laszlo: Don't you get it, Chuck?

Zorin is like us.

The n*zi used him for his superior gifts the way our government uses me and you.

Chuck: I don't... 

Laszlo: Too bad zorin didn't have this home theater system.

Screw flooding silicon valley.

Do you know what we can do with this system if we really wanted to, Chuck?

Chuck; Watch more movies?

I haven't had a chance to play with this bad boy since I designed it.

Chuck: What is that? 

Laszlo: Strategic air command.

We keep a fleet of b-2s in guam, kept on nuclear alert, just in case.

Chuck: What are you doing?

Laszlo: Putting my tax dollars to work, Chuck.

Would you like to play a nice game of thermonuclear w*r?

What about texas?

What did texas ever do that was so great?

Nine hours...

Maybe we should pick somewhere closer?

In honor of max zorin...

Let's see how fast they get to san francisco.

Chuck: Hey, hey, hey!

Um...

What about, let's watch goldfinger, huh?

Laszlo: What's it about?

Chuck: Uh, again, it's about this bad, misunderstood guy who just wants to blow up the world.

It's right up your alley; I think you'll really like it.

Laszlo: We can always play later.

Chuck: We can!

We can play...

b*mb, b*mb, b*mb...

Thing later...

I'm going to go get us some more popcorn.

So, here, why don't you...

You go ahead and start without me.

And-and, uh, I'm going to be right back.

You have 34 new messages.

Casey: Chuck, it's Casey.

Call me.

You think this is funny, Chuck?

If you don't call me back in the next ten seconds...

Tie it in a knot and shove it straight up...

Sarah: Chuck, I want you to go to your car, lock the doors, and wait for me.

Laszlo: Where are we headed?

I thought I asked you to turn your phone off.

Who were you talking to?

Chuck: My handler, okay?

She was just checking in.

You shouldn't have done that, Chuck.

You should not have dragged them into this.

I'm not responsible for what happens now.

You sold me out... You sold me out!

Chuck: No, no, no, no. I just didn't want you to get hurt, okay?

Look, relax.

Just relax, everything is going to be cool.

Laszlo: Everything is not going to be cool.

Sarah: Come on, let’s go 

Chuck: What the hell?

You're going to k*ll us! You're going to k*ll us!

Laszlo: Well, Chuck, it's been fun.

Chuck; Don't...

Oh... Oh! Ladies 

Sarah; Hey.

You look nice.

Chuck: Thanks.

I feel like crap.

I screwed up.

I severely pooched the lazslo situation last night.

Sarah: Yeah, well...

Today, you have a job interview.

Chuck:,Do you think I care about making lower management at a buy more?

Are you kidding me?

I aided and abetted the escape of the next ted kacyzski, Sarah.

I just...

I can't believe that I was so wrong about that guy.

No wonder you bugged my room.

I'm an absolute idiot.

Sarah: You know, just because you trust people, it doesn't make you an idiot.

Chuck: Yeah, well, I should've trusted you guys a little more.

I'm sorry.

Sarah: Well, Casey got a signal on your car, and somehow the gps got turned back on and lazslo was heading east.

So, I'll call you from the road.

And don't worry, we're going to bring him in, Chuck.

Good luck today.

Big Mike: Morgan!

I don't know who you're supposed to be, but that's the most kick-ass costume ever.

Morgan: I'm sorry, michael.

Is it halloween?

I didn't realize.

Lester: Morgan, hey.

You up for a little mystery crisper holiday edition?

Morgan: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, lester.

Jeffrey.

Chuck: Hey, Morgan, buddy, where were you this morning?

I thought you wanted a ride in.

Why are you all dressed up?

Morgan: Why are you all dressed up?

Chuck: I have a job interview today.

Morgan; Bully for you, Chuck. 

Chuck; What?

Morgan: You think you're the only one at the buy more who cares about looking professional?

Typical.

Chuck: I never, I never said anything...

Harry: Boo! 

Chuck: Aah!

Harry: Did I scare you, Chuck?

You better be scared, 'cause I'm about ready to k*ll me a job interview, partner.

Ka-pow!

Chuck: Lazslo is not headed east.

He's going to the santa monica pier.

Sarah: Yeah, you don't say?

We just found the gps in downtown.

Lazslo ripped it out and stuck it under a big rig.

Chuck: Look, he was casing the arcade.

It's where he was first recruited.

There's a huge halloween party there every year.

I think he's going to blow it up.

Big Mike: Where do you think you're going?

Chuck: Um... It's you.

Hey, hey, big mike, i...

Can i... Can I borrow another herder?

Big Mike: All the herders are out.

You've got an interview this afternoon, or did you forget? 

Chuck: No.

I-i just... I'm...

Something came up.

Big Mike: Is that something more important than being assistant manager?

Is it more important than handing over your promotion to tang?

Please, Chuck. Is it more important than big mike's relaxation?

Chuck: Look, big mike, there are just some things in life that are more important than the buy more.

Big Mike: You mean, like fishing and danish?

Chuck: Excuse me. Excuse me.

♪♪

HR manager: Bartowski?

Excuse me, you-you in the gordon gecko costume.

Have you seen Chuck Bartowski?

It's time for his interview.

Morgan: I actually don't know where Chuck's been keeping himself these days.

So-sorry.

Harry; I guess your boyfriend just couldn't take the heat, huh?

Morgan: I'm sure he's got a perfectly good excuse.

Harry: Sure he does.

First Chuck bails on you and your stupid space-penis costume.

And then, he doesn't even have the stones to show up for his interview.

What a loser.

Even by your standards.

If I were you, I'd start interviewing for a new best friend, ma-ma-ma...

Morgan.

Morgan: Let me ask you something.

What do you know about Chuck Bartowski?

HR manager: You're not Bartowski.

Morgan: Actually, I'm-i'm here to interview on my friend's behalf.

Hr manager; Look...

Morgan: Please, please, just hear me out, okay?

I know that the virtues that make for a good buy more manager are the same virtues that make for a best friend.

Now, uh, Chuck and I may have our differences, but I can tell yo5 this about him.

Chuck is-is brave.

Chuck is loyal.

You know, Chuck can quote wrath of khan word-for-word.

And Chuck is courageous.

Chuck's got a wicked vinyl collection, and Chuck has the wisdom to not eat garbage from the break room Crisper.

If you want my open and honest and direct opinion, the best man for this job is a man by the name of Chuck Bartowski.

HR manager: Some speech.

Chuck Bartowski sounds like a hell of a guy.

Morgan: He is.

HR manager: When he comes in tomorrow, he'll be working for one...

Harold tiberius tang.

God help you all. 

Laszlo: I meant to tell you earlier about your car's self-destruct function.

One of my more inspired designs.

Chuck: Lazslo, listen.

Laszlo: Relax, Chuck.

She's all yours.

Chuck: What did you just do?

Laszlo: You just armed a b*mb.

That would have taken me hours to get through the fingerprint recognition system.

Chuck: Why are you doing this? 

Laszlo: What?

bl*wing stuff up?

That's what bad guys do, Chuck.

Besides, how else was I going to punish them for what they did to me?

Chuck: Yeah? 

Casey; Hey, someone just armed the herder to self-destruct.

Chuck: Yeah. I know.

It was me.

Disarm the b*mb right now!

Laszlo: You disarm the b*mb!

Chuck: How?

Laszlo: Cut the wire. 

Chuck: Which one?

Laszlo:  The red one.

You got to cut a wire, Chuck!

Chuck: What if I cut both of them?

Laszlo: Oh, like sean connery in the end of goldfinger?

Chuck: What did you just say?

Laszlo: Cut the wire, Chuck.

The other night, you said you'd never seen goldfinger, so, how would you know what bond does at the end of The movie?

Laszlo: Cut the wire, or we're d*ad.

Chuck: You lied to me, lazslo.

You knew I'd believe you when you said you just wanted to live a normal, peaceful life.

And you knew that I'd believe you about cutting the wire, but you were wrong, lazslo.

Sarah: Chuck! 

Chuck; Wait!Wait!Stay back!

Laszlo: Cut the red wire, Chuck! 

Casey: You're under arrest.

Lester: Come on. I liked it a little bit, all right?

Jeff: All right, now, how do i... 

Both: hey, Chuck.

Harry: Nice costume, Chuck.

And what are you supposed to be?

Oh, that's right.

You're my employee.

Aren't you going to congratulate me?

You did hear I got the job.

Chuck: Uncontested. Yeah.

Nice work, harry.

Harry: Anyhow, now that you're here, I wanted to talk to you about some organisational ideas I had for the nerd Herd...

Chuck, where are you going?

Chuck?

Chuck, I will not be ignored!

Anna: Did Morgan ever find you?

I thought the guy was going to lose it.

Chuck: No. I-i know.

He was really looking forward to the buy more costume contest.

Anna: I'm talking about what he did for you.

Giving the whole big speech to try to talk the hr guy into giving you the job?

Chuck: Morgan did that?

Anna: And then someone went and stole his bike.

I mean, what kind of loser would steal a guy's bike?

Look at you two.

Morgan: I didn't think you were coming.

Chuck: I'm sorry.

I got held up.

Listen, Morgan, I think you should be the head this year.

Morgan: Really?

Ellie: Chuck? 

Chuck, honey? 

Honey? 

Morgan:  he's in the back.

Ellie: Hey.

 How did it go?

Chuck: Uh, the short version is that I didn't get the job. What?

I kind of skipped out on the interview.

Sarah: it was my fault.

Morgan: Hel-lo.

Sarah: I, uh... I had a personal emergency, and Chuck really came through.

He probably wouldn't admit it, but your brother is kind of a hero.

Chuck: Would you excuse us?

Hey, uh, buddy, you mind if...

You mind if we take a little five minute break?

Morgan: Dude, are you kidding me? Take ten if you need it.

Chuck: So, uh, where did you get the costume?

Sarah: The CIA can make anything.

Chuck: What are you... What are you doing?

Sarah: Uh... Smile.

Smile.

I, uh...

I wanted to give you a new photo of us, and I figured that it should be something real.

Morgan: Chuck!

People : worm!Worm!Worm!Worm!

Morgan: They're calling for the worm, bro.

Worm!Worm!Worm! Worm!Worm!Worm!Worm... !

Sarah: I'll, uh... I'll see you outside.

Morgan: What were you guys, uh...

What were you guys talking about?

Chuck: Oh, nothing.

Just, uh, you know.

Sarah was just telling me that if she were stranded on a desert island, she would bring roast beef.

Morgan: She didn't say roast beef.

Chuck; Oh, she totally... she completely said roast beef. 

Morgan: oh, that's terrible.

Oh, that's a terrible sandwich, it's a terrible sandwich.

You know, she's smart, and she's sexy, and kudos on her costume, looked fantastic, but who brings roast beef To a deserted island?

That's a terrible choice.

You gotta dump her
{"type": "series", "show": "Chuck", "episode": "01x06 - Chuck Versus the Sandworm"}