Pinkie Pie: Hoof-biting action overload! She was like a sun superstar, flying higher and higher, and then Rainbow Dash swooshed down-SWOOSH! 

and right before she h*t the ground, SHOOM!  

she pulled up! (imitates motor revving)  

Twilight: (distracted) Uh-huh.  

And then she looped around and around like  "whoom, whoom, whoom, whoom, whoom, whoom, WHOOM!"  

(Pinkie Pie crashes into ground)

Twilight: (distracted) Uh-huh.  

(Rainbow Dash whooshing overhead)  

(Twilight sighs with relief and flips page)   

Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rainbow Dash!   

Rainbow Dash: (groans, under breath) Pinkie Pie? Not again...   

Rainbow Dash!   

Not now, Pinkie Pie!   

Pinkie Pie: But-but, Rainbow Dash-   

Rainbow Dash: I'm in the middle of something!   

Pinkie Pie: But-

Rainbow Dash: I said, not now!   

(crash, grunt)   

(sliding down cliff)   

Pinkie Pie: I was gonna tell you to look out for that mountain!   

(Rainbow Dash grumbles)   

(theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah,   

(My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be   

(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me   

Rainbow Dash: Big adventure

Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun   

Rarity: A beautiful heart

Applejack: Faithful and strong   

Fluttershy: Sharing kindness

Twilight: It's an easy feat   

All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah   

(My Little Pony) Do you know you're all my very best friends   

(Pinkie Pie humming tunelessly)   

Pinkie Pie: (sweetly) Hi! I'm looking for Rainbow Dash, have you seen her?   

Pinkie Pie: Hi there! Have you seen Rainbow Dash?   

Okay, thanks anyway.   

Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Have you seen Rainbow Dash anywhere?

Twilight: ...Isn't she right up there?   

Pinkie Pie: (singsong) Rainbow DA~SH!   

(Rainbow Dash grunts frantically)   

(whoosh)   

(whoosh)   

Rainbow Dash: (out of breath) Phew...that was close...   

Pinkie Pie: Hi!

(Rainbow Dash screams, whooshes off)   

(whoosh)   

(panting)   

(whoosh)   

(whoosh, whoosh, whoosh)   

(water splashing lightly)   

Pinkie Pie: (spits) I need a favor, Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: (screams, winds up) ...Aw, forget it.   

(thud)   

I tooootally promise it'll be tooootally fun!   

(sighs, resigned) Okay...   

Over to the right.   

Nono, a liiittle to the left.   

Oh wait, back to the right.   

Now, a liiiittle left-ish while staying rightly.   

Stop!   

Hmm...Maybe a few inches to the south!   

And now a couple centimeters north!   

Pinkie Pie: Okay. One more smidgimeter to the-

Rainbow Dash: (exasperated) PINKIE PIIIIE!   

Pinkie Pie: Uh, I mean, perfect!   

Now, wait for my signal.   

(Spike humming My Little Pony theme)   

(thunder, Spike screams)   

(hiccup)   

(hiccup)   

(Spike hiccuping, Pinkie Pie snickering)   

Pinkie Pie: (laughing) Oh Rainbow Dash, we startled Spike into getting the hiccups!   

(Rainbow Dash chuckles)

Spike: (laughing) Good one, Pinkie (hiccup) Pie! (hiccup)   

You're always pullin' a fast one (hiccup) on me!   

(hiccups f*re, yelps)   

Pinkie Pie: (worried) Oh no, you're not hurt, are you?   

Spike: No- (hiccup) don't be (hiccup) silly, dragons are (hiccup) fireproof.   

(pop)   

Oh, okay. Good.   

(Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laugh uproariously)   

Spike: (hiccups f*re) I wish the same thing (hiccup) were true of scrolls...   

(Princess Celestia gasps, scrolls clatter)   

(Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laugh)

(Spike hiccups f*re repeatedly)   

Have you ever SEEN anything more HILARIOUS?!   

I can think of ONE thing...   

(thunder, Pinkie Pie shrieks)   

(laughter punctuated by hiccups)   

I didn't take you for a prankster, Pinkie Pie!   

Are you (exaggerated hiccup) kidding?! (exaggerated hiccup)   

I LOVE to pull pranks!   

It's all (exaggerated hiccup) in good fun, and Pinkie Pie lo- (hiccup) -oooves to have (hiccup) fun! (hiccup)   

You know, Pinkie Pie, you're not as annoying as I thought!

(Pinkie Pie hiccup-snorts)   

You wanna hang out?!

(Pinkie Pie hiccups)   

That'd be- (hiccup, whoosh)   

I'd really (hiccup)   

When do (hiccup, whoosh)   

I mean (hiccup)   

Why would you (horn honks)   

Rainbow Dash: A simple nod will do.

Pinkie Pie: (muffled) Mm-hmm.   

Rainbow Dash: (whispering) Is she even home?   

Pinkie Pie: (whispering) I don't know, but I think she called. (both snicker)   

Rainbow Dash: There she is!   

Rarity: Ooh!    

(Rarity sniffs, whimpers lightly, sneezes repeatedly)    

(Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laugh)    

(Pinkie Pie sneezes into distance)    

(liquid pours, bubbles)    

Twilight: Huh?!

(bubbling intensifies)    

(expl*si*n)    

(Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laughing uproariously)    

(Applejack gasps)    

Applejack: Land sakes!    

(Rainbow Dash snickers)    

(both laugh)    

(apples impact, splash)    

(Applejack chuckles)    

(squeak)    

(pump squeaks in Pinkie Pie's mouth)    

Pinkie Pie: (muffled) Ish shomeone over dere?    

Who we gonna squirt?! Who we gonna squirt?!    

Rainbow Dash: (snickers) Fluttershy.    

Pinkie Pie: (muffled) WHAT?!    

(spits) Nononononono.    

(insistent) We CAN'T prank Fluttershy, I mean, she's SO sensitive, it'll hurt her feelings, even our most harmless prank!    

Rainbow Dash: Yeah...you're right. Huh...    

We need another victim who's made of tougher stuff.    

So, who's it gonna be?    

Pinkie Pie: Oh! (giggles) I've got SOMEone in mind!    

(giggles) The TOUGHEST around!    

Awesome! Who?! Who?! Do I know them?    

Pinkie Pie: (giggles) Oh, yes! (giggles)    

You're VERY close!    

Rainbow Dash: (chuckles) Good one, Pinkie Pie!    

(Rainbow Dash chuckles)    

(both laugh)    

(toy wobbles)    

(Pinkie Pie blows party blower repeatedly)    

Rise and shine, Rainbow Dash! It's a brand new day, and we've got a LOT of pranking to-    

Ooh...    

Rainbow Dash: Mornin', Pink! (whoosh) Gilda, this is my gal pal, Pinkie Pie.    

(metal riff)

Gilda: (disinterested) Hey. What's up?    

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, this is my griffon friend, Gilda.    

Pinkie Pie: What's a griffon?    

(metal bass line playing) Rainbow Dash: She's half-eagle, half-lion-

Gilda: And ALL awesome.    

(metal bass line)

(Gilda and Rainbow Dash chuckling)    

Rainbow Dash: Gilda's my best friend from my days at Junior Speedster flight camp.    

Hey! Remember the chant?!    

(derisively) Oh yeah, they made us recite it every morning. I'll never get that lame thing out of my head.    

Rainbow Dash: Soooooo?    

Gilda: (groan, monotone) Only for you, Dash.    

Rainbow Dash: (spirited chanting) Junior Speedsters are our lives

Gilda: 

 (bored chanting) Junior Speedsters are our lives    

Rainbow Dash: (spirited) Sky-bound soars and daring dives

Gilda: (bored) Sky-bound soars and daring dives    

Rainbow Dash: (spirited) Junior Speedsters, it's our quest

Gilda: (bored) Junior Speedsters, it's our quest    

Rainbow Dash: (spirited) To someday be the very best

Gilda: 

 (bored) To someday be the very best    

(Pinkie Pie laughing and slapping hoof on ground)    

Pinkie Pie: Oh, that was awesome, and it gave me a great idea for a prank! (grunts) Gilda, you game?    

Huh. Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next griffon, but Dash, you promised me we'd get a flying session in this morning.    

Yeah...uh...well, Pinkie Pie, you don't mind, do you?    

Rainbow Dash: Gilda just got here. We'll catch up with you later!

Pinkie Pie: Oh...um...sure, no problem!    

Have fun, you guys! So I'll...just catch up with you... (sighs dejectedly) later...    

(party blower bl*wing sad descending note)    

(wind bl*wing)    

(jets whoosh by)    

(wind howling, Gilda streaks past)    

(approaching jet, soft thud)    

(both laughing)

Gilda: Whoa! That was sweet!    

Just like old times.    

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, only faster!

(brohoof)    

So, now what?    

Pinkie Pie: Hey there!    

Both: Huh?    

Pinkie Pie: It's later!    

Pinkie Pie: And I caught up!    

(Pinkie Pie bouncing on trampoline)    

(Pinkie Pie bouncing)

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you are so random!    

(Pinkie Pie bouncing)

Gilda: Hey Dash, think you got enough gas left to b*at me to that cloud?!    

(Pinkie Pie bouncing)

Rainbow Dash: A race?! You are so on!    

Gilda: One, two, three, GO! (whoosh)    

Pinkie Pie: Hey...!    

Rainbow Dash: I win!    

Gilda: As IF. I won, dude!    

Rainbow Dash: No way!

Gilda: Yes way!    

Rainbow Dash: Oh come on, I was way ahead  of you!

Gilda: Uh, I don't think so.    

Rainbow Dash: Oh please, dream on. There is NO way you b*at me.

 Gilda: Remember back in camp? I-    

Pinkie Pie: Wow, guys, that was really cool!    

But I think Rainbow Dash b*at you by a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty little hair,    

or a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty feather!    

Rainbow Dash: Hah, see?! Good thing Pinkie Pie's here to keep you honest, G!    

Gilda: (irritated) Okay, Dash, last one to that cloud up there is a gnarly dragon egg. GO!    

(whoosh)    

(metal bass line)

Gilda: (hostile) I think the high altitude is making you dizzy.    

(popping balloons)

Pinkie Pie: Wait! Guys-    

(whoosh)    

(whoosh)    

(bizarre contraption noises)

Pinkie Pie: Oh, wow, you guys almost got away from me that time!    

(bizarre contraption noises)    

(bizarre contraption noises)

Gilda: So, Dash, got any new moves in your tricktionary,    

(bizarre contraption noises)

or are you    % old school?    

(bizarre contraption noises)

Rainbow Dash: New moves?! Hah! Sit back, G, this is gonna take a while.    

(metal bass line)

Gilda: Hey Pinkie, c'mere.    

Pinkie Pie: Yeah?    

(metal bass line)

Gilda: (thr*at) Don't you know how to take GET LOST for an answer?!    

(metal bass line)

(intimidating) Dash doesn't need to hang with a dweeb like YOU while I'M around.    

(metal bass line)

(mocking) You're dorkin' up the skies, Stinky Pie,    

(metal bass line)

(thr*at) so make like a bee and BUZZ OFF!    

(metal bass line)

(Pinkie Pie screaming and spinning)    

(metal bass line)    

Rainbow Dash: Try matching THAT! ...Hey, where's Pinkie Pie and her crazy contraption?    

Gilda: Eh, she left. Something about being... (sardonic) ...as busy as a bee.    

(contraption noises winding down, distorted)    

(Pinkie Pie "hmphs")    

Twilight: So, Pinkie Pie, are you sure that this friend of Rainbow Dash is really so mean?    

Pinkie Pie: Um, YEAH! She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she popped my balloons, and she told me to buzz off!    

I've never met a griffon this mean!    

Well, actually, I've never met a griffon at all, but I bet if I had, she wouldn't have been as mean and grumpy as GILDA.    

Twilight: You know what I think, Pinkie Pie?    

Pinkie Pie: Hmm?

Twilight: (hesitantly) Well, I think...you're jealous.    

Pinkie Pie: (incredulous) JEALOUS?!

Spike: Green with envy. Well, in your case, pink with envy.    

Twilight: Well, yes. Jealous.    

Listen, Pinkie, I don't wanna upset you, but just because Rainbow Dash has another friend doesn't make Gilda a grump.    

I mean, perhaps it's YOU, Pinkie, who needs to improve her attitude.    

Pinkie Pie: Improve MY attitude?!    

But I... (stammering) Gilda's a... (stammering) are you seri- (screams)    

(door slams, Twilight sighs)    

Maybe Twilight is right...    

Maybe Gilda isn't a big meany grumpy mean-meany-pants.    

Maybe I'm just a big jealous judgmental jealous-jealousy-pants.    

(sighs dejectedly)    

(slurping)    

Gilda: (whoosh, laughs) That was sweet!

(Pinkie's hooves clatter on table)    

Rainbow Dash: Uh, I gotta take care of a few weather jobs around here.    

Shouldn't take long.    

Just, uh, hang out in town and I'll come find ya.    

Gilda: That's cool, I guess. (macho) I'm gonna go chow down!    

Rainbow Dash: Later!    

(screams, shouts feebly) A RATTLER! A RATTLER!    

RUN FOR THE HILLS! EVERYBODY FORSAKE YOURSELVES!    

(slow, discordant banjo strumming)    

This stuff ain't fresh, dude.    

(discordant banjo strumming)

Pinkie Pie: Aw, poor Granny Smith! 

 She didn't know it was a joke!    

How mean! ...No, no, I can't misjudge her.    

(unsure) It was kind of a funny prank...I guess...    

(chomps)    

(gasps) I DID misjudge her!    

She's not only a meany mean-pants, she's also a thief!    

...Nononono...she might give it back!    

It's just a joke!    

Fluttershy: All right, little ones, this way, this way.    

Mama duck is free and clear.    

Gilda: HEY.    

Fluttershy: Please excuse me.

Gilda: (forcefully) I'm WALKIN' here.    

Fluttershy: (meekly) Oh, um, I'm sorry...    

Fluttershy: I-I was just trying to-

Gilda: (mocking in a whiny voice) I'm sorry! I'm sorry!    

(nastily) Why don't you just watch where you're GOING, DOOFUS?!    

Fluttershy: (stammering) B-b-b-but I...    

(inhales, roars like a lion)    

(Fluttershy sobs)    

(derisively) Ugh, please. All these lame ponies are driving me buggy.    

I gotta bail. (whoosh)    

She's a grump AND a thief AND a bully!    

The meanest kind of mean meany-pants there is!    

I can take it, but NO ONE treats Fluttershy like that!    

NO. ONE.    

This calls for EXTREME measures! Pinkie Pie style!    

(perky) Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!    

Applejack: Who's this "Gilda" I've heard nothin' about?    

Rarity: I hear she's an old friend of Rainbow Dash. A griffon! So rare.    

Twilight: You've met Gilda, right? What's she like?    

Fluttershy: Oh! Um, well...I'll tell you later, Twilight.    

Pinkie Pie: Welcome! Welcome!    

Fluttershy: Um, Pinkie Pie, about this party for Gilda, Um, do you really think it's a good idea? I mean-    

Pinkie Pie: Don't worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda!    

Your Auntie Pinkie Pie has got it aaall taken care of!    

Fluttershy: I'm a year older than you.    

Pinkie Pie: GILDA!    

I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie Parties!    

And I really, truly, sincerely hope you feel welcome here amongst all us ponyfolk!    

(joy buzzer shocks Gilda)    

(Gilda crashes to ground)    

(ponies laughing)    

(Pinkie Pie giggling)

Rainbow Dash: Oh, Pinkie Pie. The ol' hoof-shake buzzer! You are a SCREAM!    

Gilda: (chuckles nervously) Yeah, uh, good one, Pinkie Pie.    

Rainbow Dash: C'mon G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends.    

Gilda: Right behind you, Dash! (menacingly, under breath) I know what you're up to.    

Pinkie Pie: (unfazed) Great!    

Gilda: Grrr...I know what you're planning!    

Pinkie Pie: (giggles, snorts) Well, I HOPE so!    

This wasn't supposed to be a SURPRISE party!    

Gilda: I mean, I've got my eye on you.    

Pinkie Pie: And I'VE got my eye on YOU!    

Everyone, I'd like you all to meet Gilda, a long-time dear friend of Rainbow Dash.    

Let's honor her and welcome her to Ponyville!    

(ponies cheer)    

Pinkie Pie: Please help yourself!    

Gilda: Vanilla lemon drops! Don't mind if I do.    

(gulps)    

Gilda: (breathes f*re, pants) HOOOOT!    

Rainbow Dash: G, the punch!    

(siren blaring)    

(Gilda gasping, gulping)    

Huh?!    

Pinkie Pie: Well, whaddya know?! Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops, and the punch served in a dribble glass!    

Rainbow Dash: Ha! Priceless, priceless! (laughing)    

(Gilda gulps water, pants)    

(sarcastic) Yeah. Hilarious.    

Rainbow Dash: Hey G, look! Presents!    

(pop, ponies laugh)    

Applejack: Spittin' snakes! Heh, somepony pulled that prank on me last month!    

(sardonic) Ha ha. I bet I know who THAT was.    

Pinkie Pie: (quizzically) You do?    

(ponies chatter)    

Pinkie Pie: Cake time, everypony!    

Spike: Hey! Can I blow out the candles?    

Twilight: Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike?    

She IS the guest of honor, after all.    

(Spike yelps, crashes into wall)

Gilda: EXACTLY.    

(inhales sharply, blows)    

(inhales sharply, blows)    

(ponies laughing)    

(ponies laughing)

(Gilda blows repeatedly)    

Spike: Relighting birthday candles! I LOVE that prank! What a classic!    

Pinkie Pie: Now, I wonder who could've done that?    

(metal bass line)

Gilda: (sardonic) Yeah. I wonder.    

Spike: (splats into cake) Mm! Who cares, this cake is AMAZING!    

Twilight: Spike!    

Spike: (mouth full) What? It'sh great! Try shome!    

Rainbow Dash: Hey G, you're not upset about some silly candles, are you?    

Gilda: (false bravado) No way, Dash! Like I said, I'm down with a good prank.    

Rainbow Dash: Come on, then! Let's have some cake.    

(Pinkie Pie chomps, whimpers in confusion)    

(metal bass line)

Gilda: (thr*at) Hey. I'm watching you. Like a hawk.    

Pinkie Pie: (sweetly) Why? Can't you watch me like a griffon?    

Applejack: Hey y'all! It's Pin the Tail on the Pony!    

Let's play!    

Rarity: Oh, my FAVORITE game! Can I go first?!    

Can I have the purple tail?    

Gilda: (self-importantly) Well, I'M the guest of honor!    

And I'LL have the purple tail!    

Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Gilda should definitely go first!    

Let's get you blindfolded.    

Gilda: Hey-what-what're you doing?! Augh!    

(Gilda spinning)

Pinkie Pie: We're gonna spin you around and around, and then you pin the tail on the pony!    

Pinkie Pie: Now, just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!

Gilda: 

 (mocking) Now, just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!    

(sarcastic) Yeah, right. This is another prank, isn't it?    

Gilda: I'M goin' this way.

Pinkie Pie: W-Wait...the poster is this w-    

(Gilda screaming repeatedly, crashes)    

Pinkie Pie: Uh, Gilda? You pinned the tail on the wrong end!    

(ponies laugh)    

(lion roar)    

Gilda: (maliciously) THIS is your idea of a good time?!    

I've NEVER met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life!    

And Pinkie Pie...    

YOU are Queen Lame-o with your weak little party pranks, Do you REALLY think you can make me lose my cool?!    

Well, Dash and I have ten TIMES as much cool as the REST of you put together!    

Come on, Dash, we're bailing on this PATHETIC scene.    

...Come ON, Rainbow Dash!    

I SAID, WE'RE LEAVING!    

Rainbow Dash: ...Y'know, Gilda? I was the one who set up all those "weak" pranks at this party.    

Gilda: (shocked) ...W-what?!    

Pinkie Pie: Ooh.

Rainbow Dash: So I guess I'M Queen Lame-o.    

Gilda: (nervously) Come on, Dash! You're joshin' me!    

Rainbow Dash: They weren't all meant for you specifically. It was just dumb luck that you set them all off!    

Pinkie Pie: I shoulda known! That dribble cup had "Rainbow Dash" written all over it!    

Gilda: (indignant) No. Way. It was Pinkie Pie!    

She set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me!    

Pinkie Pie: Me?! I threw this party to improve your attitude!    

I thought a good party might turn that frown upside-down!    

Rainbow Dash: And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself!    

You know, this is not how I thought my OLD friends would treat my NEW friends!    

If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new COOL friend someplace else.    

(Gilda growls)    

Gilda: (stumbling over words) Yeah?! Well...you....you...    

YOU are such a...a FLIP-FLOP!    

Cool one minute and lame the next.    

When YOU decide not to be lame anymore, gimme a call.    

(door slams)

Rainbow Dash: Not. Cool.    

Spike: Wow. Talk about a party pooper.    

(ponies chatter about Gilda)    

Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry, everypony, for bringing Gilda here.    

I didn't know how rude she was.    

And Pinkie Pie, I'm really sorry she ruined that awesome party you put on for her.    

Pinkie Pie: Hey, if you wanna hang out with party poopers, that's your business.    

Rainbow Dash: I'd rather hang out with you.    

Rainbow Dash: No hard feelings?

Pinkie Pie: No hard feelings.    

(joy buzzers shock both)    

(ponies laugh)    

Twilight: Hey, Pinkie. Sorry I accused you of misjudging Gilda.    

Looks like I'm the one who misjudged you.    

Pinkie Pie: It's okay, Twilight! Even you can't be a super smart smarty smart-pants all the time!    

Come on everypony, there's still a whole lotta party to finish!    

(ponies cheer)    

Twilight: (voice-over) "Dearest Princess Celestia,    

Today I learned that it's hard to accept when somepony you like wants to spend time with somepony who's not so nice.    

Though it's impossible to control who your friends hang out with, it is possible to control your own behavior.    

Just continue to be a good friend.    

In the end, the difference between a false friend and one who's true will surely come to light.    

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."    

Princess Celestia: (voice-over) "Dear Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student..."    

(aloud) Oh! (giggles) Wrong ink!    

(sighs, laughs)    

(ending theme begins) My Little Pony    

My Little Pony    

(instrumental)    

My Little Pony, friends
{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x05 - Griffon the Brush-Off"}