GREY'S ANATOMY

2x14: Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Original Airdate: 1/22/2006

Written by: Joan Rater, Tony Phelan

Directed by: Adam Davidson

(SGH) 

(Derek is in the OR performing surgery on a patient. The gallery is empty aside from Meredith who is standing by herself) 

MVO: As doctors we're trained to skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest. 

(Cristina enters the gallery and gives Meredith a wry smile and Meredith smiles back. Cristina walks up to the window to peer and looks down into the surgery) 

Meredith: Why aren't you prepping for rounds and stealing all the good cases? 

Cristina: Well why aren't you prepping for rounds and stealing all the good cases? 

Meredith (shrugs): No reason. 

Cristina: No reason? 

MVO: Lying is bad. Or so we're told. Constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. 

(Cristina sits down next to Meredith) 

MVO: The truth shall set you free. I chop down the cherry tree. Whatever. 

Meredith: I'm waiting for McDreamy. 

Cristina: I'm avoiding Burke. 

Meredith: Why are you avoiding Burke? 

Cristina: He thinks I moved in with him. Why are you waiting... 

Meredith (interrupts): McDreamy is doing me a favor. Burke thinks you moved in with him? 

Cristina: Wait you're calling him McDreamy again? 

(Cristina shakes her head at Meredith) 

MVO: The fact is, lying is a necessity. 

(Trauma room where Meredith is sitting on a table as Derek draws out her blood) 

Meredith: Thank you for doing this. With the needles and the blood. They won't accept her without a full family history. 

Derek: I'm happy to get your mom into the clinical trial. Even with the needles and blood. 

(He stands up and they 'gaze' into each others eyes) 

Derek: All done. How's that feel? 

MVO: We lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts. 

Meredith: Feels good. 

(Cristina is standing in a hallway waiting for Meredith. Meredith walks up to her and they start walking down the hall together) 

Meredith: Burke thinks you moved in with him? What does that mean? 

Cristina: Ok it's not important. You're calling Derek, McDreamy again. 

Meredith: It's nothing. 

Cristina: All right, what are you doing? 

Meredith: What are you doing? 

Cristina: Stop repeating what I say. 

Meredith: Stop asking me questions. 

(They stop and look out over the railing of the mezzanine and hear some banging. George is banging on a window of the hospital with Izzie standing next to him, arms crossed holding a leash with Doc on it.) 

George (yells): Cujo has to go! 

(Intern locker room where the interns are getting for rounds. Meredith is sitting down on a bench, already in her scrubs with Doc laying next to her) 

Izzie: He peed on my bed. My bed, Meredith! 

Meredith (defensive): He's our dog! 

George: No, he's not my dog. You two bought him, without even asking me. 

Meredith: We rescued him from certain death. (She pouts) Come on you guys. 

George: I'm putting my foot down. Either the dog moves out or I do. Foot. Down. Now. Me or the dog, which is it? 

(Meredith looks down at Doc contemplating and then back up at George) 

George (shocked): You hesitated! She hesitated! 

Izzie: You hesitated?!? 

Meredith: I didn't hesitate. I was thinking. 

George: You have to think about it, fine! I'm moving out right now. 

(He heads to the door to exit the room but as he opens the door, Bailey is revealed standing there. He swivels back towards his locker) 

George: Later. I'm moving out later because right now I have rounds. 

(Bailey walks into the room) 

Bailey: Tell me that is not a dog. 

All: It's not a dog. 

(Bailey's pager goes off) 

(Bailey is standing outside the emergency double doors with Cristina, George, Meredith, Alex, and Izzie. An ambulances double doors open up and paramedics start wheeling out a patient, including Tony the paramedic) 

Tony: Rick Freeark. 29. Severed 3 fingers on his left hand. Controlled the bleeding in field. Vitals s*ab. Gave him 5 of morphine on the way in. 

(They all start wheeling the patient down the hallway) 

Bailey: The fingers? 

Tony: Had some trouble retrieving them so we took off. Rich behind us found them. They're iced and ready to go. 10 minutes out. 

Bailey: Continue with IV fluids and start a course of antibiotics. 

(Bailey stops Cristina) 

Bailey: Yang, wait outside for the fingers. 

(Cristina heads back out) 

(Rick's trauma room) 

Rick: You can sew them back on right? Cause they sewed that guy's penis back on after his wife chopped it off, right? 

Bailey: Penises and fingers. Like apples and oranges. 

George: How did it happen? 

Rick: I was loading my gear onto my truck for a gig and my hand got caught in the lift gate. 

Alex: You're a musician? 

Rick: I play the friggin guitar. (to Bailey) You can sew them back on right? It's not that big of a deal right? Oh dude I better not be out of the band. 

(Trauma room, where now there are only scrub nurses and Derek checking on Rick's fingers. Cristina enters the room with Rick's detached fingers in a towel) 

Derek: Well the cuts look clean. That's good. Clean and severed makes reattachment easier. I'm not going to lie to you, if the surgery is successful; we're looking at a long recovery. Lots of physical therapy. (Rick looks pained at this) You smoke? 

Rick: Why? 

Derek: Cigarette smoke constricts the blood vessels. I've seen really good grafts fail over a few cigarettes. 

Rick: So what are you saying? I, I smoke a cigarette after my operation and boom my fingers fall off? 

Cristina: No first they turn black and necrotic and then they fall off. 

(Derek smiles apologetically at Rick) 

Rick: Well I don't smoke, so ... 

Cristina (holding up one detached finger): Really? Cause judging by the nicotine stains, your fingers do. 

(Rick looks alarmed at the idea of having to give up smoking) 

(George is rifling through some charts at the nurses station when he hears a voice call out from a patient room) 

Sophie: Anybody out there? Hello! 

(George sh**t a glance to Nurse Debbie who is also at the desk) 

Debbie: Don't look at me! She had hip replacement surgery a month ago and was discharged last week. 

George: Then why is she still here? 

Debbie: Because I am not a bouncer and this is not a nightclub! I am doing what I can (Richard walks up and Debbie walks directly to him) with extremely limited staff and resources and if you have a problem with that take it up with 'Chief!' 

(She storms off. You can hear Sophie sing now) 

Sophie: Don't know why, there's no sun up in the sky ... 

(Richard sh**t George a look) 

Richard: Mrs. Larson's got to go. 

George: If she refuses to leave what can I do? 

Richard: She's 78 and non-ambulatory. You have the upper hand here. Use it. 

(Bailey, Izzie and Alex walk up to them) 

Richard: Karev, can I talk to you for a second? 

(He and Alex walk off to the side and he hands him an envelope) 

Richard: The results of your medical board exam. 

Alex: Thanks. 

(Richard walks off as Izzie looks on curiously. George dumps a bunch of charts into Izzie's arms and heads off. Bailey looks on disapprovingly. Alex walks back up to Bailey and Izzie) 

Izzie: Aren't you going to open it? 

Alex: Yeah, I'll open it. 

(George is entering Sophie Larson's room. An elderly yet very vibrant and energetic woman) 

Sophie (sings): I'm weary, all the time. 

(George claps loudly) 

Sophie: Oh, thank you. Thank you. 

George: Ok, Mrs. Larson I'm Dr. O'Malley. 

Sophie: Oh an Irishman! I love the Irish. They have a sparkle. You can see it in the eye and the swagger. Come on Dr. O'Malley, show me the swagger. 

(George looks slightly uncomfortable but swaggers half-heartedly up to Sophie's bedside) 

Sophie: The eyes are right, but uh you'll have to work on the swagger. 

George: Mrs. Larson... 

Sophie: Call me Sophie. Now, be a doll and bring me a remote. (She holds up and shakes it in front of him) This one's busted. 

George: Sophie, I can't bring you a new remote because you are no longer a patient at this hospital. Now according to your chart you have a room waiting for you at the Sugar Maple Nursing Home. 

Sophie: I'm staying until my daughter's house is ready. She's converting her den into my bedroom. She's doing it a shade of pink. Now bring me a remote Irish. I'm going to sing until you get back. (She starts singing loudly) Can't go on. Everything thing I have is gone! (George holds out is hand and she slaps a remote into it) Stormy weather- 

George: Coming right up. 

(He leaves) 

(Trauma room where a young Asian woman named Yumi sits on a bed continuously hiccupping. Yumi's Coach, Mr. Kamaji is also in the room) 

Alex: Ah Yumi Miyazaki. 22. She presented this morning with persistent hiccups. 

Izzie: She was given 50 chlopromazine which stopped them for a while but then the hiccups returned so she needs a surgical consult to rule out esophageal perforation. 

Bailey: When did your hiccups start? 

Mr. Kamaji: A few days ago. She doesn't speak English. 

Bailey: Are you her boyfriend? 

Mr. Kamaji: Her coach. 

Alex: Oh she's an athlete. 

Mr. Kamaji: Ah, Yumi is a competitive eater. 

Izzie: Eating is a sport? 

Alex (nods): Miyazaki ... yeah, yeah. She's like a Rock star in Japan. 

Izzie: Again, eating is a sport? 

Alex (to Mr. Kamaji): Tell her I saw her on TV. Tell her that I'm an athlete too. I'm a wrestler. 

Mr. Kamaji (in Japanese to Yumi): The young doctor wants you to know he's a wrestler. I think he's flirting with you. 

(Yumi gives Alex an appraising look) 

Yumi (in Japanese to Kamaji): Tell him I eat little boys like him for breakfast. 

Mr. Kamaji (to Alex): She wonders how a wrestler got smart enough to be a doctor. Most wrestlers she knows are dumb. 

(Alex and Izzie smile. Izzie more of a oh my god smile) 

Alex: Just tell her that she hasn't been hanging around the right gyms. 

Bailey: How bout instead you tell her that persistent hiccup could be an indication of something much more serious. (To Alex and Izzie) Schedule an esophogram. 

Mr. Kamaji: Oh she's competing this afternoon at the 'Taste of Seattle'. Can't you just give her a stronger dose of that drug? It seemed to work. 

Bailey: Did the hiccups come back? 

Mr. Kamaji: Yes, but... 

Bailey: Then it didn't work. 

(She moves and starts to walk off, but stops suddenly clutching her stomach in pain) 

Izzie: Dr. Bailey. 

Bailey: Be quiet. 

Izzie: Dr. Bailey, are you ok? 

(Bailey tries to shrug it off, but she still seems to be in pain) 

Bailey: All right somebody page Addison Shepherd. 

(Izzie moves off quickly while Alex stays with Bailey) 

(Bailey is lying down being given an ultrasound by Addison in an exam room) 

Addison: There he is. Heartbeat's strong. Since there's no dilation or effacement, looks like nothing more than Braxton Hicks. 

(Bailey sits up) 

Bailey: Except I know the mild concerned tone. I've used it myself from time to time. 

Addison: Sometimes false labor is the body's way of telling you to slow down. 

Bailey: I'm a surgeon. 

Addison: I understand the realities of your job but you need to understand the realities of your pregnancy and take it easy. Is there anything I can do to help? 

Bailey: Uh, yeah for starters you can help me get up off this table. 

(Izzie knocks on the door and enters) 

Izzie: Dr. Bailey. The GI lab has a couple of questions about Miss. Miyazaki's esophagram. 

Bailey: Well let's go. 

(Bailey walks out of the room) 

Addison: Dr. Stevens. 

(Izzie stops following Bailey) 

Addison: Keep an eye on her today. Watch out for any painful contractions. More than 5 in an hour. Anything that could indicate pre-term labor. (Izzie shakes her head) The favor is not for me Stevens, you know that. 

(Izzie nods and walks off) 

(Patient room where a middle aged woman named Naomi Cline lies on the bed looking very happy. Meredith and Burke are at the end of Naomi's bed. Tom Cline, Naomi's husband is also in the room) 

Meredith: Naomi Cline. 43. Had her tricuspid valve replaced 3 years ago with a porcine valve, sir. 

Burke: Ah Naomi, surprised to see you back again so soon. Pig valve usually holds up 10 to 15 years. But yours seems to be degenerating a little too quickly for my comfort. 

Naomi: Oh, heart valve, schmart valve. (excited) I got married Dr. Burke! (She laughs) I found him. My true love. My 'you jump, I jump'. (Burke and Meredith exchange looks. She holds out her hand to show her wedding ring) Look. Isn't it beautiful? And look, look at that beautiful, beautiful man. 

(Meredith and Burke turn around to see a middle aged balding man named Tom Cline.) 

Tom (uncomfortable): Heh. We ah meet in the grocery store. 

Naomi: Oh honey ... 

(She gestures for him to come be by her bedside) 

Burke: Oh, congratulations. It's good to see you so happy Naomi. 

Naomi: Yeah. 

(Tom comes by her bedside and Naomi becomes very affectionate) 

Tom: So Naomi's heart valve, what does this mean? 

Burke: Well there's an underlying cause for your wife's valve failure that remains undiagnosed. Theories, Grey? 

Meredith: Rheumatic fever, chronic use of migraine meds- (A large bark from Doc in the hallway interrupts her) or IV narcotics could all cause uh valve disease sir. 

Naomi (smiling): Oh I don't use drugs. Don't need them. I've got Tom, he's my drug. Aren't you baby? 

(Meredith looks weirded out by Naomi's happiness) 

(Meredith and Burke are walking out of Naomi's patient room walking down the hall) 

Meredith: She's high Dr. Burke. 

Burke (chuckles): Oh, she's in love. She's happy. 

Meredith: Nobody is that happy. She's on drugs. 

Burke (sighs): Run a tox screen but Naomi doesn't strike me as a liar. If she says no drugs, then it's no drugs. You develop a sixth sense about these things. 

Meredith (shrugs): Everybody is a liar. 

(Doc barks loudly again from the hallway) 

Burke: Dr. Grey, is that a dog? 

Meredith (shakes her head): No. 

(Derek is with Rick in the trauma room.) 

Derek: Look, we need to keep this elevated ok? 

Rick: Ok. 

Derek: I'll be back to check on you in a little bit. 

(Derek heads out of the room into the hallway where Cristina is dumping some waste into a waste bin. They start walking down the hall together) 

Derek: Yang, you were a little harsh in there. 

Cristina: He was lying. Besides your harsh is another man's refreshing. 

Derek: Well he's in shock. The man's lost his fingers and his only remaining habit in one day. We need to be compassionate. 

Cristina (looks upset): Compassionate? 

Derek: Yes. It's an emotion. Have you ever heard of it? 

CRISTINA: Oh, have you? (Derek looks shocked at Cristina's audacity) She's barely back on her feet and you've got her calling you McDreamy again. You know I was just telling the patient the truth. So you might want to try it sometime. 

(Cristina walks off) 

(George is standing on some shelves rummaging around a utilities room. Richard walks by but double backs when he realizes what George is doing) 

George: Remotes. (He pulls out a stack from a box) More remotes. 

Richard: O'Malley? 

George: I'm getting a remote for Mrs. Larson. 

Richard: What happened to the upper hand? 

George: Have you met Mrs. Larson, sir? 

Richard: Why do you think she's been here this long? In a private room? 

George (amused): She handled you, too? 

Richard: Well, she sang for the troops, you know. 

George: Can't we just keep here until her the room in her daughter's house is ready? 

Richard: No we can't. Not on surgical service, anyway. 

George: Oh, ok... but some other service? 

Richard: I'm the Chief, O'Malley. I can't condone turfing patients onto other services. You hear me O'Malley? 

(Richard walks off) 

(George is entering Mrs. Larson's room smiling) 

Sophie: I'm ah, I'm missing my program Irish and I don't see a remote in that hot little hand. 

George: I noticed that urine output has increased slightly since yesterday. I'm going to have to take you to gynecology to make sure you don't have a prolapsed uterus. 

Sophie: Honey my uterus hasn't been an issue for 30 years. 

George: I know, but it might be an issue now. ... You know one that could keep you here in the hospital for tests. 

(Sophie grins broadly and grabs the metal triangle in front of her for grip) 

Sophie: You drive, I'll ride g*n. 

(Izzie comes to the door as George prepares to move Mrs. Larson's bed) 

Izzie: You're not moving out, George. 

George: Oh yes, I am. I gave an ultimatum. Threw dawn the gauntlet. I drew my line in the sand. 

Izzie: Well un-give, un-throw and un-draw. 

George: A man does not give an ultimatum and then back down. 

(Izzie helps George move the bed out of the room and down the hallway) 

George: Meredith had a choice and she chose the dog. 

Sophie (shocked): A girl chose a dog over you? 

George: Yes. 

Izzie: No. 

(Izzie and George stare at each other) 

(Hospital outdoor cafeteria. Alex is sitting at a table by himself looking over the envelope Richard gave him. There is also an unusually big pile of hotdogs sitting in front of him. He puts it away quickly as Cristina and Izzie come up and sit down at the table as well. Cristina also has a large plate of hotdogs) 

Alex: Are we gonna do this or what? 

Cristina: Yeah, let's go. 

(George comes up running with his own plate of hotdogs) 

George: Don't start without me. 

Alex: We're not gonna start if Izzie doesn't focus. 

Cristina: Izzie, come on. 

Izzie (ignores this): What should I put on the flier? 

George: I don't know. 

Cristina: Destructive, aggressive, uh hell dog available. 

George: That's not helping. 

Cristina: Fine, uh playful, protective puppy needs loving home. 

Izzie (approvingly): Good. 

(Meredith comes with her own set of food and Doc on a leash. She sits down) 

Meredith: Hey, George. 

George (looking down at his food): Don't talk to me! You'll only make me mad. You're gonna mess up my game and I'm in the zone. 

Meredith: Okay. (To Izzie): What are you doing? 

Izzie: Oh it's a flier that I'm gonna put it up...

Cristina (yells): Izzie, come on! 

George (yells at the same time): Izzie! 

Izzie: Okay! Keep your panties on! 

(Izzie picks up a stop watch as George, Alex and Cristina all prepare to have a hot-dog eating contest) 

Izzie: All right. 

(George picks up one of his hotdogs) 

Cristina: No touching! 

(George puts down his hotdog making a face at Cristina) 

Izzie (struggling not to laugh): Go! 

(George, Alex and Cristina start wolfing down their hotdogs. Though Cristina opts for eating the actual hotdog meat first quickly, rather than bun and dog like Alex and George) 

Meredith (looks at the flier): You're advertising for a home for Doc? I said I would do it. 

Izzie: And you haven't and you won't. And I don't want George to leave. 

(She makes a funny face when she looks at George's eating) 

Meredith: Well at least put down he's not house-broken. (Izzie gives her a look) What? It's the truth. 

Izzie: Ok, so you want me to put the truth. Fine. 

(Cristina has now finished her hot dog meat and only left with the buns with she is now wetting down with water, mushing up and then stuffing into her mouth) 

Izzie: Vicious, hyper devil mutt is available. And will pee on the bed. 

Meredith: He's your dog too. We got him together. 

(She gives the others a weird look at their eating contest. It seems Cristina is winning, Alex followed closely behind, and George is pretty much screwed) 

Izzie: We got him together, please. He's not your dog either. He doesn't even know us. We are not home enough for him to know us. 

(Cristina stuffs the last of it down her mouth and shouts victorious. Though it's very muffled and hard to understand since she still has a mouth full of bread. Alex and George also protest muffled as she hasn't chewed it all down. Cristina stands up and starts gloating and making hand gestures) 

Cristina: You want to be! You want to be me but you can't be me! You want to be me... 

(She stops abruptly and looks like she's gonna chuck) 

George: Uh, oh. 

(She sits back down woozy) 

Izzie: Crap, she's gonna blow. 

(They all stand up quickly and run off, leaving Cristina sitting by herself trying not to throw up) 

(Patricia and Richard are walking down a hallway together. Patricia is reading from some papers) 

Patricia: The surgical floor has become a dumping ground for patients who aren't even surgical. We are overworked and exhausted. This makes for un... 

Richard (interrupts): The nurses again? Can't you do something about this? You used to be one of them. Don't you speak nurse? 

(Richard stops in front of the OR board) 

Patricia: That's why you don't get any respect from the nurses; surgical arrogance. 

Richard (huffs): I'm not arrogant. 

Patricia: You're k*lling them with that workload. Look at the board! 

(The board is absolutely filled) 

Richard: What? That's a beautiful board. 

Patricia: That's a crowded board. (She hands Richard the paper she was reading from) We need more nurses. 

(She walks off) 

(Exam room, where Yumi is lying down on a table undergoing an ultrasound. Izzie, Bailey, Alex and Mr. Kamaji are in there. Yumi is still hiccupping) 

Bailey: Mr. Kamaji, this is probably what's causing her hiccups. (Izzie points to a screen) A tear in the lining of her esophagus. 

Mr. Kamaji: Can you fix it? 

Bailey: Yes, surgically the sooner, the better. 

Mr. Kamaji: Ah, after the competition today her schedule is clear until March. 

Bailey: No her schedule is clear now. She can't compete today. And if she enjoys the taste of solid food, I recommend giving up the sport for something a little less aggressive. Say boxing. 

(Yumi just lies on the table looking scared and at Mr. Kamaji to tell her what's going on) 

Mr. Kamaji: I see. Could you give us some privacy please? 

(The three doctors all exchange looks and leave the room) 

Bailey: Karev, get the translator up here. Let's make sure she's getting the whole truth. 

(Patient room where Rick is. Cristina comes in and finds Rick's band mates and friends in the room, smoking and drinking) 

Band Mate: Busted

Cristina: Put that out! 

Band Mate: Sorry. 

Cristina: I gotta prep you for surgery. Can you ask your friends to leave? 

(The band mates hug Richard and leave. Cristina starts prepping Richard and notices a carton of cigarette's on his lap. Richard notices this and holds up the packet defensively) 

Rick: I wasn't gonna light 'em. I was just holding them. 

Cristina: Ok. 

Rick: Seriously, take 'em. Throw 'em out. 

Cristina: No you hang onto them. 

Rick: Seriously, I wasn't going to smoke. 

Cristina: Seriously, I don't care. Do what you want. 

Rick: You don't think I'm going to be able to quit, do you? 

Cristina: No. I don't. 

(George is walking down the hall when he stops suddenly hearing a voice) 

Sophie (singing): I'm lonely all the time ... 

George: Oh no. 

(He looks over at the nurses' station where Debbie is standing) 

Debbie: Oh yeah. 

(George opens the patient door apprehensively, not wanting to believe it) 

Sophie: Irish. That nice lady doctor in gynecology said that since I had a hysterectomy back in '74, I don't have a uterus to prolapse. 

(George walks in and sits dejectedly on the couch seat in the room) 

George (to himself): Damn it. 

Sophie: I've been feeling a bit feverish. (George sits up quickly and grabs Sophie's chart of her bedside) A woman my age with a fever could be an indication of oh any number of awful diseases. 

George (disappointed): They took your temperature an hour ago. It was normal. I am sorry Sophie, but I'm going to have to call your daughter. 

Sophie: I'm telling you, I'm warm. 

(George walks over and places a hand on Sophie's forehead. She places her own hand over his and smiles) 

Sophie: That must be one hell of a dog. 

George: Excuse me? 

(George removes his hand from Sophie's forehead but she still holds onto it) 

Sophie: With those eyes and those nice firm hands ... A girl who chooses a dog over you ... It must be one hell of a dog. 

(George smiles at Sophie) 

(Burke and Meredith are walking down a hallway together) 

Meredith: Mrs. Cline's tox screen and titer both came back negative. I was sure I was right about that. 

Burke (chuckles): Gonna have to adjust your world view Dr. Grey. There are people out there that don't lie. 

Meredith: Maybe. 

Burke: Although frankly, the drug use would've explained the valve failure. 

(They stop walking in the middle of some stairs) 

Meredith: So how do we proceed? 

Burke: Schedule Mrs. Cline for a surgery. 

Meredith (nods): Ok. 

(Meredith starts heading back up the stairs) 

Burke: Do you want to come over for dinner? 

(Meredith stops abruptly on a stair and turns around shocked) 

Meredith: What? 

Burke: Dinner. Our place. Mine and Cristina's. 

Meredith (still shocked): Why? 

Burke: You're Cristina's best-friend. I want her to feel welcome to have friends in our home. 

Meredith: Oh, so she moved in with you? 

Burke: Yes. (suddenly confused) Didn't she tell you? 

Meredith (forces a smile): Of course she told me. Why wouldn't she tell me? She's in, right? Which you know, I think is great. 

Burke: Right. 

(He heads off down the stairs leaving Meredith standing looking confused) 

(Derek is standing in front of an elevator revealing Cristina standing by herself. He walks in. Cristina avoids looking at him) 

Derek: Just came from Mr. Freeark's room. He's convinced that he won't be able to quit smoking. Says that you agree. 

Cristina: No he asked my opinion. Want me to apologize? 

Derek: No I want you to go in there and tell him that you're wrong. That you're having a bad day. You're favorite uncle died of lung cancer and that every time you see a cigarette you freak out. Say whatever you need to say. Get him to believe that this about you not him. Because if he thinks he won't be able to quit, he won't. Then we shouldn't even do this surgery. 

Cristina: Fine. 

Derek: What is your problem? I'm your boss. What's the matter... 

Cristina (interrupts): No you're not my boss right now. We're in an elevator. That's your specialty right? McDreamy moments in elevators. 

Derek (warningly): Dr. Yang. 

Cristina: You know just for a moment, I'm not Dr. Yang and you're not Dr. Shepherd. You're the guy who screwed up my friend. The guy who drove her to get a dog she can't keep. The dog she only got because her boyfriend lied to her about his wife. 

Derek (interrupts): I never lied to her! 

Cristina: You know what I know a liar when I see one because I'm a liar. Fine you want me to lie to the patient. I'll lie. 

(The doors ding open and she leaves) 

(Alex walks back to the Yumi's exam room with a translator. He looks in the room but it's empty) 

Alex: Yumi? 

(He walks out and to the closest nurses' station) 

Alex: Hey, the translator is here. Where's the patient Miyazaki? 

Nurse: She left with her friend about 20 minutes ago. 

Alex: She wasn't discharged. 

Nurse: Sorry, we're short staffed. I assumed someone else had done the paperwork. 

(She leaves) 

Alex: Damn it. 

(Rick is in a hallway banging against a vending machine) 

Rick: Come on. Damn it. Uh! Uh. 

(Cristina walks down the hall and rushes up to him) 

Cristina: What are you doing out of bed? 

Rick: I gotta get a candy bar, man. 

Cristina: Uh, you're on morphine. You're about to have surgery and you can't eat. Mr. Freeark, please. 

(She tries to move him down the hall) 

Rick: My Dad's Mr. Freeark. He's gotta a comb over and ah, and an annoying wife named Kimberley so- 

Cristina (interrupts): Rick. Listen. Earlier I was out of line. 

Rick: No you got me to think. I don't want to be a guy, sitting in a bar with a stump for a hand. Having a smoke 10 years down the line bragging about how I used to play better than Dave Navarro. 

Cristina: Yeah, you don't wanna be creepy, bitter guy. 

Rick: Here's the thing. My last cigarette was this morning. Only, I didn't know it was my last cigarette. 

(Cristina and Rick are standing outside the hospital where Rick is having what looks like to be a very gratifying cigarette. Derek notices this and walks outside and hits against the glass) 

Derek (to Cristina): What the hell do you think you're doing? 

(Cristina has a look on her face that says 'oh shit') 

(OR where a surgery is being performed. Meredith and Cristina are both standing at the edge of the gallery with cups of coffee as all the seats are taken) 

Cristina: McDreamy's being McDouchey. He's making me stand at the back of the O.R while he re-attaches Rick's fingers. I can't even touch a retractor. I hate him. 

Meredith: Truth. Did you move in with Burke or not? 

Cristina (sighs): I told him I moved in with him. I'm keeping my old apartment. 

(Meredith turns around and gives her a look) 

Cristina: What? I sleep with Burke every night. My clothes are there. So I still have my apartment, big deal. 

Meredith: You have to tell him. 

Cristina: Actually I don't. 

Meredith: So I'm supposed to go to dinner at your fake apartment with the guy you fake live with? 

Cristina: Oh, I would never have you over to dinner with Burke. That's weird. 

Meredith (spins around instantly): This is my point. Stop with the lying. 

Cristina (whispers accusingly): And you're being honest? That last time you called him McDreamy you were all a-twitter with love. 

Meredith: We're just friends. 

Cristina: Uh huh. 

Meredith: We are. 

(Infectious Diseases department. George is there with Mrs. Larson talking with an ID resident who is looking through Mrs. Larson's chart) 

Resident: West Nile virus. Are you kidding me? 

George: No, look at her. She's feverish. She's much weaker than she was this morning. She could be de-compensating. 

(Sophie tries to look sickly and coughs) 

Resident: She's been here for a month, Dr. O'Malley. You seen any mosquitoes in this hospital lately? 

Sophie: Oh, such a handsome young man ... (The resident gives her a weird look) Those chocolaty eyes ... 

Resident (tries not to smile): In order to test you Mrs. Larson, we'd have to do a spinal tap. 

Sophie: Will you be doing it? 

Resident (tries not to look off put by the idea): Yes, ma'am. 

Sophie: Well then, call me Sophie. 

(The ID resident moves to George's position to wheel Sophie's bed down the hallway. George starts walking off) 

Sophie (calls out): Oh, nice meeting you, Irish! 

(She waves and George waves back. He walks off looking pretty smug with himself) 

(Naomi's room, where Meredith is talking to Mrs. Cline. She hands Mrs. Cline a chart) 

Meredith: So if you'll just sign here, we can go ahead and schedule you for surgery. 

Naomi: Oh, ok. ... You know you are a gorgeous young woman. Look at you. (She signs the chart) You should smile more. 

(Meredith fakes a smile and leaves the room. Meredith is outside the room, where she notices Mr. Cline, sitting on a chair out in the hall looking downcast. She walks up to him) 

Meredith: Mr. Cline. 

Tom (stands up): Oh, ah ... do me a favor. 

Meredith: Sure. 

Rom: Don't tell her you saw me. I'm, I'm not sure that I'm going to go in. She's ... she can be exhausting. 

Meredith (nods): Yeah, she's...really happy. 

Tom: You know I thought it was just ... falling in love, the wedding, but I was kinda hoping the honeymoon would be over by now, you know? (Meredith nods) I mean it's not normal, right? (He whispers) Nobody's that happy. 

(Meredith is walking up to the lab tech guy Jeffery at the lab desk) 

Meredith: Run another tox screen on Naomi Cline. 

Jeffery: On whose orders? 

Meredith: Dr. Burke's, of course. 

(She ticks the form for the test and pushes it forward to Jeffery) 

(Izzie is walking up to the on call room. She knocks on the door lightly and enters. Dr. Bailey is lying down on one of the bottom bunks) 

Izzie: I'm sorry to bother you. The paramedics are on their way in with Yumi Miyazaki. She collapsed at the 'Taste of Seattle' and is vomiting blood. 

(Bailey looks frustrated and sits up) 

Bailey: Damn fool, probably tore her esophagus in two by now. 

(She gets up and murmurs a bit, looking like she's in pain) 

Izzie: Are you ok? 

(Bailey takes a moment and then grabs her coat and starts making her way out of the room) 

Bailey: Complications of Boerhaave's syndrome. Go. 

Izzie: Pleural effusion, sepsis, shock. 

(Pre-op ward where Yumi is lying, breathing difficultly on a bed and Alex is checking her vitals. Bailey and Izzie are there as well. Including a few nurses. Mr. Kamaji is watching from outside looking anxious) 

Alex: Cyanotic with shallow breast sounds. BP is 76 over 42. Tachycardic in the one thirty's. Start her on high flow O2 and give her a second dose of saline. 

Bailey: Alright, let's get her to the O.R. 

Izzie: They're ready and waiting. 

(They're about to start moving Yumi's bed when she grabs Alex's hand pleadingly looking upset as if to say why is this happening? Alex looks down and the looks through the glass wall, sh**ting daggers at the coach) 

Alex: The freaking coach should be the one this gurney. 

Bailey: Let's keep our eyes on the prize Karev. Saving this woman's life. 

(They start wheeling her out) 

Alex: I'll meet you guys up there. 

(Alex starts walking over to the coach. Izzie notices this) 

Izzie: Me too. 

(Izzie walks up quickly to Alex) 

Izzie: Hey, hey. What are you going to do? Punch him out? 

Alex: Yeah. 

Izzie: So you're going to kick his ass, get yourself kicked out of the program, before you have to open your board scores which is incase you failed. (Her beeper goes off) God, you're such an idiot. 

(She walks away) 

(O.R where Bailey is operating on Yumi. Alex and Izzie are helping and watching) 

Bailey: Dr. Karev, how do I begin the esophagomyotomy? 

Alex: Cut proximal and distal to the tear to expose the mucosal defect. 

Bailey: Correct. Then we'll move to debridement of the defect- 

(She gasps suddenly) 

Bailey: Oh! 

(She backs away quickly from the operating table, dropping the surgical tools and starts breathing in and out quickly) 

Izzie: Dr. Bailey, those aren't Braxton Hicks contractions. I believe you're in pre-term labor. 

(Bailey gives her an annoyed look) 

(Richard is entering the OR all scrubbed up) 

Richard: Why didn't you call me sooner? (Bailey just shakes her head) Alright, just get out of here. 

Bailey: I was gonna fashion a gastric patch. 

Richard: I taught you the procedure. Now leave. 

(Bailey sighs and leaves) 

(Meredith is walking up to the blood lab for the results but finds Dr. Burke already there. She walks up slowly to him) 

Burke: I got paged, Dr. Grey. Jeffery wanted to give me the results to the extensive blood work that I ordered. (He gestures to the forms Meredith filled in) You forged me signature? 

Meredith: That's really bad, right? 

Burke: Yeah that's really bad. Naomi is not on drugs. The tests came back negative. 

Meredith (amazed): They did? 

Burke: They did. Again. (Meredith shakes her head in disbelief) Next time you forge me signature, let me know. Save me a trip. 

Meredith: That's it? You're not going to yell and say 'Damn it Grey' and storm out? 

Burke (smiles): I will if you want me too. 

Meredith: No. 

Jeffery (walks up to them with another test): Dr. Burke, here's another one. Her serotonin level is through the roof. 

Burke: Dr. Grey, you took a detailed history? 

Meredith: Mmm Hmm. 

(They start walking down a hallway) 

Burke: When did Mrs. Cline develop asthma? 

Meredith: After the first surgery. Why? 

(Cut to Naomi's room where she is sitting happily on her bed. Tom is standing by her bedside. Burke and Meredith are in there as well) 

Burke: We found a carcinoid tumor in the lump. Very rare. Almost impossible to diagnose. It masks itself as a bunch of seemingly unrelated symptoms. Adult onset asthma, valve failure...

Meredith: An increased level of serotonin in the blood. 

Burke: Which creates a false sense of euphoria. 

(Naomi smiles broadly) 

Tom: So, Naomi is not actually this happy. She just has a tumor? 

Burke: Exactly. 

(Meredith nods) 

Tom: Thank god. 

Naomi: You people with your tumors. I tell ya, I'm infected with love! 

(She laughs) 

Meredith: I'm sorry. Your body is lying to your mind. 

Naomi: Oh let the lie continue, (to Tom) right baby? 

Tom (chuckles uncomfortably): How soon can you cure her? 

Burke: Tomorrow, we can take the tumor out. If all goes well, Naomi goes back to normal. 

Tom: Alright, thank you both. 

(Burke and Meredith leave the room and walk into the hallway) 

Meredith: Thank you for not chewing me out for forging your signature. 

Burke: Thank you. (Meredith looks confused) I know it was probably you who convinced Cristina. She's very strong but she listens to you. If you told her to move in ... (He smiles briefly) Anyway, thank you. 

(Burke walks off and Meredith is left looking a little uncomfortable) 

Meredith: No problem. 

(OR, Derek is about to start performing surgery on Rick. Cristina is in the OR but watching right from the back) 

Derek: Now do you have any sensation in your left arm at all? 

Rick: Nope. (A doctor moves to shield Rick from watching) Actually, could I watch? 

(The doctor drops the covering so Rick can see) 

Rick: I wanna see every blood vessel and nerve I'm gonna screw up if I ever smoke again. Not that I'm gonna. Ever again. (He makes eye contact with Cristina) I smoked my last cigarette. 

(Derek notices this) 

Derek: Ok, let's get started. 

(Miss. Larson, Sophie's daughter is talking to Nurse Debbie at a nurse's station) 

Miss Larson: The nursing home said she never showed up. How exactly is that possible? 

Debbie: She wouldn't leave. 

Miss Larson: My mother is old and infirm. You couldn't make her leave? 

Debbie: Have you met your mother? 

Miss Larson: Fine. Where is she now? 

(George who is walking by notices Miss. Larson) 

George: Oh, hi I'm Dr. O'Malley. She's in the infectious disease service. 

Miss Larson: Infectious Disease. Since when does she have an infectious disease? 

George: She doesn't. She just doesn't want to leave. 

Miss Larson: Ah, she's unbelievable. 

George (smiles): Yeah she is. ... So is her room ready? I could go get her right now. 

Miss Larson: They've had the room ready for weeks. 

George: No, ah not at Sugar Maple. I meant at your house. 

Miss Larson: I'm sorry? 

George: The, the pink room ... (realization dawns) at your house. 

(Miss Larson just gives him a look) 

(George is entering Sophie's infectious disease room where she's watching television) 

George: Hi Sophie. 

(Sophie switches off the TV) 

Sophie: Irish, what a wonderful surprise! You won't catch my disease will you? 

George: No, I think I'll be ok... Sophie, your daughter was just here. 

(Sophie stops smiling instantly and gets teary eyed) 

Sophie: Nursing homes are for old people. I know I'm elderly. I do know that. ... But if I have to go that place, I'm afraid I'll become old. 

George (takes her hand and smiles): I don't think that's possible. 

Sophie (smiles): Oh. 

George: You know that I, I would keep you here if I could. 

Sophie: Oh, no darling you can't waste any more time with me. You have to go balls out with the dog. 

George: Excuse me? 

Sophie: So she chose an animal over you! So what? Women are fools. That's old news. But life's too short for you to give in, Irish. ... So fight, you fight for what's yours. 

(George leans down and kisses Sophie's hand and walks to the door) 

Sophie: Now that my friend is a swagger. 

(George closes the door and places his hand against the clear glass door. Sophie lifts her hand to return the gesture. George heads off) 

(Richard is in the O.R operating on Yumi with Izzie and Alex helping) 

Richard: I'll be closing the peritoneal cavity with zero chromic sutures. 

(Nurse Debbie knocks on the glass window of the scrubs room holding up a piece of paper) 

Alex: Chief. 

(Richard turns around and sees Debbie and then turns back to the operating table) 

Richard: Let's get back to it. Pull back on that retractor. Give me more suction. I'll need a sponge on a stick. 

(Debbie enters the O.R) 

Richard: What's going on? 

Debbie: I tried but you wouldn't listen. It is now 6.07. The second shift of nurses started at 6. They're not coming in. 

Richard: Do you have any idea what a sick out would do to this hospital? 

Debbie: I've already put in the call for temps. 

(She puts down the paper she was holding on a table nearby) 

Richard: What's this? 

Debbie: Official notification. We go on strike in 10 days. 

(Yumi's post-op room where she is lying on a hospital bed. Alex is writing in her chart and Izzie is checking on her) 

Alex: You're doing good Yumi. You're doing just fine. 

(Yumi speaks Japanese) 

Izzie: We should get the translator back up here. She doesn't understand what's going on. (To Yumi) We'll be back. 

(They head out of the room where they run to Mr. Kamaji in the hallway) 

Alex: What the hell are you doing here? 

Mr. Kamaji: I never would've ... I thought she would be fine. I'm sorry. 

Alex: Don't tell me. Tell her. Tell her how her career is over because of you. 

(Alex steps aside so Mr. Kamaji can walk in. Mr. Kamaji walks in slowly and bows deeply in apology and shame. Alex looks back at Izzie who nods. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the envelope Richard gave him. They move away from the door) 

Izzie (pats Alex on the back): Way better than punching him out. 

Alex: Hey uh ... can you (he holds out the envelope to Izzie) 

Izzie (takes the envelope): You want me to open it? 

Alex: Yeah, yeah you know it's just, I can't. 

Izzie (she tries to hand it back): I shouldn't, I mean I... 

Alex (interrupts): Look you already think I'm an idiot. It won't be any great shock. 

(Izzie sighs and opens the envelope. She pulls out the letter and reads it. She puts the letter in front of Alex) 

Izzie: Congratulations. (Alex grins at her and looks down at the letter) You are not an idiot. Except when you're being an idiot. 

(Izzie walks off) 

(Cristina is checking on Rick's fingers in his patient room. She walks out the room where she runs into Derek) 

Derek: How's he doing? 

Cristina: Ah jonesing for a cigarette but I'll think he'll make it to the end of the day. 

Derek: Good. ... I was being nice to her. 

Cristina: Ok. 

Derek: I can be nice without being ... (he gestures) 

Cristina (disbelieving): McDreamy, I know. 

Derek: I really can. 

Cristina (still disbelieving): Ok. 

Derek: Ok then. 

(He walks into the room) 

(A nurse is pushing Dr. Bailey dressed to go home in a wheelchair down a hallway. Addison is walking beside her and they are being followed the 'g*ng' Cristina, Izzie, Meredith, Alex and George) 

Addison: Bed rest at home until the baby comes. You do know what bed rest is don't you Miranda? 

Bailey: Yeah hell. 

(She's being wheeled backwards into an elevator) 

Izzie: Hell with TV and books. (She hands Bailey a present) Here it's from all of us. 

(Bailey takes it grudgingly. They all smile at her from outside the elevator. They elevator doors begin to close, but Bailey stops it with her foot) 

Bailey: I may be 47 months pregnant (The group looks apprehensive as they were about to walk off. Addison has already walked off) I may be on bed rest. I may not be able to see my own feet but I am Dr. Bailey. I hear everything. I know everything. I'm watching each and every one of you. And I will return. 

(The doors close) 

(Richard is wiping the OR board clean himself. Burke is standing near the stairs watching him. Derek walks up to Burke) 

Derek: Strike? 

Burke: Strike. 

Richard (turns around): You are all a bunch of arrogant surgeons. 

(He walks off. Burke and Derek exchange looks) 

(Cristina walks into an empty gallery except for Meredith who is on her mobile) 

Cristina: Hey. 

Meredith: Hey. (She hangs up) That was Izzie. She refuses to take the dog home. 

Cristina: Mmm Hmm. (She sighs and sits down in front of Meredith) Fine, if you want me to tell Burke I didn't move in I'll tell him. 

Meredith: No don't. 

Cristina: What? 

Meredith: Don't tell him. At least not right now or tonight. (Cristina sighs in relief) I just mean wait. It can wait. (Cristina nods) I lied about Derek. We're not just friends. I mean, I'm not. He's still McDreamy. 

(Cristina stands up and rubs Meredith's arm comfortingly) 

Cristina: I know. 

(She walks out of the gallery) 

(Intern locker room, there is a notice board showing a flyer for Doc. George walks in and sees Doc lying down on the floor. In fact there are a lot of fliers advertising Doc. Meredith is sitting dressed to go home in front of her locker. George sits down next to her) 

George: You don't get to choose. 

Meredith: Huh?

George: I know you've been going through a bad time. I know you miss Shepherd. And I know that your life has admittedly been pretty unpleasant these days. You get points for breathing in and out. You get to be a little selfish. But you don't get to choose a dog over me. ... I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons. I have ... held your hand every time you've asked. I've earned the right to be seen. To be respected. To not have you think of me as less than a dog that you got at the pound. ...So, I'm not moving out. Whether you like it or not, I'm staying. 

(Meredith just looks at him) 

MVO: No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it. Eventually the lies fall away. 

(Cristina is sitting up-right looking hesitant on Burke's bed. She sighs and lies down next to Burke who wraps his arms around her) 

Burke: I'm glad you moved in. 

Cristina: So am I. 

MVO: Whether we like it or not. 

(Izzie, Meredith and George are exiting out of Meredith's Jeep. Izzie hands George some Doc's toys while Meredith gets Doc out from the back) 

Meredith: Ok, Doc. Let's go. 

(They're in front of Derek's trailer. Derek and Addison out and meet them. Meredith looks upset) 

Derek: Hey Doc. Hey buddy. Welcome home. 

Addison: Hey. He's beautiful. 

(They start patting Doc) 

Izzie: I brought his toys. 

George: And his food and water. 

Meredith: Here. 

(Meredith hands the leash over to Addison) 

Meredith: Thanks for doing this. I know it's a lot to ask. 

Addison: It's all right. It's just a dog, right? Come on Doc. 

(She walks away and takes Doc into the trailer) 

Izzie (to Meredith): Ah, we'll just wait by the car. 

Meredith: Ok. (George and Izzie walk back to the car) So he ah chews everything. So don't leave anything out. (Derek nods) He hates cats and small little yappy dogs. Oh (she shakes her head) not house broken. 

Derek: Oh! 

Meredith: Probably should've told you that. 

Derek: Yeah. 

(They stare at each other for a bit) 

Meredith: You don't have to do this you know? 

Derek (nods): What I got, I got all this land. It's just going to waste. 

(Meredith nods) 

Meredith: Derek. 

Derek: It's just a dog. It doesn't mean anything. He'll be a fine. 

(Meredith forces a smile) 

Meredith: Yeah. Ok. Goodnight. 

Derek: Goodnight. 

(Meredith turns back towards her car) 

MVO: But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. 

(Derek looks on after her for a bit and then heads back into the trailer) 

MVO: So we lie.
{"type": "series", "show": "Grey's Anatomy", "episode": "02x14 - Tell me Sweet Little Lies"}