PART FOUR

Written by Stephen Wyatt

Original air date: 04 January, 1989
Run time: 24:24

Big Top

Mags: No.

Captain: You really were extremely stupid this time, Doctor. I told you she was an unusual specimen. The growling, the snarling, reaction to the moon. Surely you should have guessed?

Ringmaster: Captain!

Captain: I hate it when this happens. She can't control herself, of course, and like all her kind she'll destroy whatever comes in her path. Which, I'm afraid, in this case has to be you.

Captain: This circus is only the half of it, you see, old chap. These hippy fellows weren't quite so dumb as they look. Did you come here just for the fun of it? Well, some of them did, but they're all d*ad.

Painted bus

Conductor: Could I see your tickets, please.

Big Top

Captain: We experienced explorers know all about making the most of our discoveries. The powers here can be harnessed by those intrepid enough to grasp the opportunities. Myself, for instance.

The Doctor: Those powers destroyed Deadbeat.

Captain: Yes, but he was like you, Doctor, none too bright in the old self-interest stakes.

Captain: Stop it, Mags. This werewolf is extremely dangerous.

The Doctor: You're meddling with things you don't understand.

Captain: No, Doctor, you are. Once you're out of the way, I shall make my deal with the powers that be, whoever they may be.

Ticket office

Morgana: She's taking Deadbeat to the bus.

Clown: In that case, they're also taken care of.

Big Top

Captain: I remember once visiting the gold mines of Katakiki...

The Doctor: Captain Cook!

Captain: What?

The Doctor: You're not only a scoundrel and a meddling fool, but you're also a crushing bore.

Captain: I'm afraid you've really done it this time, old boy. Mags!

Painted bus

Deadbeat: Search, search, search for the truth. Search it out, search it now.

In the bus

Ace: This must be it.

Painted bus

Deadbeat: Search it now.

Ace: Kingpin, I've found it!

Big Top

The Doctor: Mags! Mags! Do you hear me? Mags!

The Doctor: Mags, when you're like this, this isn't in your nature, you have to destroy everything that crosses your path. I don't believe that. Mags!

The Doctor: Mags! Mags! Wait, wait. I need your mercy, but you don't have to k*ll.

Captain: Come on, Mags. You can trust me. You know that, don't you? Once he's out of the way we can split the proceeds. Do it for me, do it for your old pal the Captain. You know you'll enjoy it. I order you to. I order you to!

The Doctor: No, Mags! No!

Painted bus

Deadbeat: Search, search, search for the truth. Search, search, search...

Ace: You've got to try and help me, Kingpin. I can't get it open.

Deadbeat: Search, search, search for the truth.

Ace: What I'd give for my chemistry set now.

Deadbeat: Search, search, search for the truth.

Ace: Come on, Kingpin. Do try and concentrate a bit.

Conductor: Tickets, please. Tickets, please.

Conductor: Tickets, please.

Conductor: Tickets, please.

Ace: Kingpin! Please!

Ace: Kingpin, do something!

Deadbeat: I remember now! It's beneath the cap.

Ace: What?

Deadbeat: Knock its cap off!

Ace: Now what?

Deadbeat: Bellboy put a button that said Request Stop. Press it!

Ace: What?

Deadbeat: Press the button!

Deadbeat: Now stand back.

Ace: What?

Deadbeat: Stand back, quick.

Deadbeat: No! Get away! Quick!

Ace: Now we're getting somewhere. You really are Kingpin, aren't you.

Deadbeat: Yes, thankfully. But no one's safe until we get this back to the Doctor.

Big Top

The Doctor: Come on, Mags. We've got to run away, now.

Dad: We want more.

The Doctor: Mags!

Ringmaster: Er, another act's coming soon, folks. You can believe me.

Girl: Another act now.

Dad: We want more.

Mom: We need more.

Morgana: You haven't played fair with me.

Ringmaster: Listen, we've done everything we're supposed to do, right?

Morgana: I had my doubts, but I came through in the end.

Ringmaster: There are going to be other visitors.

Girl: We need more.

Dad: You have no one left to give.

Mom: Except yourselves.

Ringmaster: No!

Morgana: Please, more acts are on the way, I promise you.

Backstage

The Doctor: Something dreadful's happening in the ring. Things are getting out of control quicker than I expected.

Dad (O.C.): Calling the Doctor. Calling the Doctor.

The Doctor: Nothing will satisfy them but my presence.

Mags: I'm coming back in there with you.

The Doctor: No. You must run and get Ace and Deadbeat.

The Doctor: I must prepare for my entrance. Never keep your audience waiting.

Ticket office

The Doctor: I'm coming. Open a pathway for me. Once small step for mankind, one great leap, or words to that effect.

Arena

The Doctor: And here we all are at last. I'm surprised you brought me here. It must be very difficult for you, trying to exist concurrently in two different time spaces. I know the problem myself. No wonder those memorial stones looked familiar. The Gods of Ragnarok, I presume.

By the snack stall

Stallholder: Don't you frighten my horse like that, you hippie weirdo.

Stallholder: Shut up, circus riff-raff. You don't own this planet, you know.

Arena

The Doctor: How many people have you destroyed, I wonder, before Kingpin was lured down here. Poor Kingpin. That's what you like, isn't it. Taking someone with a touch of individuality and imagination, and wearing them down to nothingness in your service.

Dad: Enough.

Mom: You have said enough.

The Doctor: Enough? I've hardly started. I have fought the Gods of Ragnarok all through time.

Dad: You are in our true time space now, Doctor. There is no appeal beyond its confines to any other.

The Doctor: Don't tell me what you want me to do. Let me guess. Now let me see. You want me to...

Dad: Entertain us.

Mom: Entertain us.

Dad: Or die. So long as you entertain us, you may live.

Mom: When you no longer entertain us, you die.

The Doctor: Predictable as ever, Gods of Ragnarok. As I think it's been said before, or was it after? Anyway, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Segonax

Ace: Hey, Mags! Where's the Doctor?

Mags: Back at the circus.

Ace: So you're on your own now?

Mags: Not exactly. Look.

Mags: That's what they're after.

Deadbeat: Oh, I might have guessed.

Ace: So how do we get it back to the Doctor? Oh, dumbo! Not you two, me. I've got an idea. Come on!

Mags: Wrong way!

Ace: Not for this. Come on, Kingpin!

Arena

The Doctor: Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, for that overwhelming reception. And now, I would like to begin like life, at the beginning. But how did life begin? Was it with a chicken or was it with...

Dad: What?

Mom: Don't try our patience.

Dad: Don't play games.

The Doctor: You're not interested in beginnings. You're only interested in endings.

Campsite

Mags: Oh no, not that thing again. Come on.

Deadbeat: Dumbo. Bellboy's robot.

Ace: d*ad right, Kingpin.

Clown: Bellboy's greatest mistake. What a place to choose. You may have the Eye again, Deadbeat, but you won't use it. You know that. You're not strong enough! You weren't before.

Deadbeat: At least I tried. You just gave in.

Clown: Yes, and I shall get my reward. Last chance, Deadbeat. We really believed in all that talk of peace and love...

Ace: This thing had better work, or I'll kick its head in.

Mags: For a moment I thought you weren't going to be able to make it stop.

Ace: Funny you should say that.

Deadbeat: He used to be a great clown.

Ace: I've never liked clowns.

Arena

The Doctor: What, no complaints? No arguments? No thunderbolts?

Dad: No, Doctor.

Mom: We're not concerned that you're playing for time.

Dad: We have a saying.

The Doctor: Let me guess. Give yourself enough rope and you hang yourself.

Campsite

Ace: Kingpin.

Deadbeat: I only hope we make it in time. The Doctor's stronger than I ever was, but even he can't hold out against them forever.

Ace: He'll have a good s*ab at it, though.

Arena

Dad: You are nearing the end, Doctor.

The Doctor: A piece of rope has two ends, Father Ragnarok.

Mom: Feel the rain, Doctor.

Dad: Feel the chill in your bones.

By the Ticket Office

Deadbeat: Ace, quick! Come on!

Arena

Dad: Doctor.

The Doctor: Yes?

Dad: You are trifling with us.

The Doctor: Really? I thought I was entertaining you.

Dad: You are on the brink of destruction, Doctor. We want something bigger, something better.

The Doctor: Do you now?

Big Top

Ace: The Doctor must be here somewhere.

Deadbeat: Well, he may already be in the Dark Circus with the Gods. If so, there's only one way we can reach him.

Mags: The stone chamber.

Ace: And the medallion?

Deadbeat: Yeah. We must be careful. They're bound to sense its presence.

Arena

The Doctor: Do I have your full attention?

Ticket Office

Deadbeat: You do realise that they'll try anything to stop us?

Ace: Yes. Let's go.

Arena

The Doctor: The climax of my act, Gods of Ragnarok, requires something you do not possess in great abundance. That is, imagination. And it starts with a piece of metal. This piece of metal once belonged to a sword, and that sword belonged to a gladiator.

The Doctor: And that gladiator fought and died in this ring to entertain you.

Stone chamber

Ace: Go for it, Kingpin.

Mags: Kingpin, please.

Ace: Well, one of us had better try.

Captain: Perhaps I might relieve you of that.

Mags: Captain, I thought you were d*ad.

Captain: I am, my dear. I am.

Arena

The Doctor: I have fed you enough, Gods of Ragnarok, and you found what I have to offer indigestible. So I have taken myself off the menu. La comedia e finita.

Dad: We command you.

Mom: You cannot stop.

The Doctor: I already have.

Dad: Then you will die.

The Doctor: Probably not. It's all a matter of timing, don't you know.

Stone chamber

Ace: Oi, sarcophagus face!

Deadbeat: Quick.

Captain: You know, when I was on the planet Periboea, I met someone who walks around when he was already d*ad. I must say, as an experience I'd say it was very overrated.

Ticket office

Deadbeat: Look. Get down!

Segonax

Stallholder: It's what I've always said. No consideration for those of us that live here.

Outside the Circus

The Doctor: Enjoying the show, Ace?

Ace: Yeah. It was your show all along, wasn't it?

Mags: The Captain really is finished now, isn't he?

The Doctor: Yes. But you're just about to start.

Deadbeat: Doctor, I've been thinking.

The Doctor: What better way for a circus to begin than with a wonderful new act.

Ace: Yeah, weird and wonderful. Nice one, Professor. You'll knock them d*ad.

Mags: That's just what I'm afraid of. What if I can't control it?

The Doctor: Oh, you can, Mags. You already have.

Deadbeat: What about it, Doctor? You and Ace. Join Kingpin's new circus and travel the galaxy with us.

The Doctor: Thank you, Kingpin, but I'm afraid we've got other galaxies to travel. And besides, I find circuses a little sinister.
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who", "episode": "25x14 - The Greatest Show in the Galaxy - part 4"}