Keeping

Up with the Kardashians...  

Kim is my best friend right now.

KIM: No one understands us  

like us.

KHLOE: We should T.P. Mom's  

home. KIM: She's coming! Khloe!  

Khloe and I are really vibing

right now a lot, so I want to be  

there for her to pick her up and

do exactly what she would do for  

me. Guys, I want you to meet.  

La'Reina. ]] ALL: Hi!  

KRIS: Hi, La'Reina!

LA'REINA: Oh.   

KIM: Our surrogate is such

a nice person.   

My family absolutely loves her.

KRIS: Without you, this   

wouldn't have been possible, so

we can't say thank you enough.   

KIM: Surrogacy is such a

beautiful thing and we're just   

so excited to welcome our baby

girl.   

We're getting close.

NORTH: Welcome to the baby   

shower! KRIS: Thank you so much.   

KIM: The baby shower turned

out so beautiful.   

I wanted it to be girly and just

sweet.   

And it was perfect.

KRIS: We're so excited for.   

Kim's baby number three.

NORTH: Lucky number seven!   

KHLOE: Yeah, Kourt! Keeping Up   

with the Kardashians...

KHLOE: Yeah.   

ROBERT: Swoop, pop.

Come on. Swoop...   

KOURTNEY: So we're doing a

flash mob.   

KHLOE: But why is it for Kim?

KOURTNEY: To, like, remind   

her that you don't have to take

yourself so seriously.   

KHLOE: Oh, my God.

I can't wait for this.   

KOURTNEY: Whoo! Whoo!

KIM: Oh. What the (bleep) is   

going on?

KOURTNEY: Who's your guardian   

if something happens to you?

It's me, right?   

KHLOE: Um...

Picking both Kourtney and Kim is   

just gonna cause so much

conflict.   

This is gonna be the tough

decision.   

I've got to witness your

parenting skills versus.   

Kourtney's parenting skills.

KIM: Whose do you like   

better? I have no baby names.   

KHLOE: But baby names is the

hardest part.   

KIM: Like, none.

JONATHAN: Is the baby due,   

like, any day?

KIM: It's due Sunday.   

JONATHAN: Because just-just

so you know, the tradition is   

that I'm always...

KIM: He's always in town.   

JONATHAN: In town by accident.   

LA'REINA: Really?

KIM: It's, like, reality.   

Like, she's coming any minute.

MJ: Oh, there's our baby.   

KRIS: She's so cute. ♪ ♪   

KIM: Knock, knock.

Guess what I have?   

KHLOE: What is it?

KIM: I am gonna make all of   

your stretch mark dreams come

true.   

KHLOE: I don't have a stretch

mark yet.   

KIM: (grunts) I know.

I'm gonna make sure you don't.   

Okay, so, I am gonna make you

bone broth.   

And it is supposed to reduce...

KHLOE: Can't you just buy   

this out of a can or something?

Like what Kourt does?   

KIM: Oh, but it's like the

all natural.   

KHLOE: Oh. KIM: With apple cider   

vinegar. A little thyme.   

Black pepper.

Chicken bones... from carcasses.   

KHLOE: I'm not eating a carcass.   

KIM: Two chicken feet.

KHLOE: Okay, stop.   

Is this a prank?

KIM: I went and picked it   

out. ]] KHLOE: Why would you buy   

this? It's a childlike hand.   

KIM: Put those in here.

Just bring the whole thing and   

put it in here.

Ew. The fact that you're picking   

that up... ew.

KHLOE: I really can't talk   

about it anymore.

I need, like, a (bleep) vaccine.   

This is absolutely disgusting.

KIM: All right, so, this has   

to sit here for six to eight

hours.   

KHLOE: What?!

KIM: Yeah. Oh, I'm exhausted   

after all of that.

KHLOE: I think you got to   

plug it in.

You have to plug in the.   

Crock-Pot.

Kim! You got to plug this in.   

This girl, I swear. ♪ ♪   

DENNIS: Hey, you guys.

KOURTNEY: Hi. How are you?   

DENNIS: Good to see you.

How are you?   

LARSA: Nice seeing you.

DENNIS: Good to see you.   

LARSA: Hey.

HARRY: Hi, how're you doing?   

KOURTNEY: This is Harry.

DENNIS: Hey, Harry.   

I'm Dennis. Nice to meet you.

HARRY: Nice to meet you.   

KOURTNEY: Harry had a single

come out today.   

HARRY: Yes. DENNIS: Oh, wow.   

LARSA: Congratulations.

HARRY: How are you?   

KOURTNEY: I need to listen to

it.   

Wait, so, you know what Larsa

and I are doing right now?   

They're gonna take our blood,

and they put it on our skin, and   

then they roll it with needles

and it goes into your face.   

And it's just, like...

HARRY: No way.   

KOURTNEY: I swear. Into here.   

HARRY: Really?

LARSA: It just revi...   

like, revitalizes your face.

KOURTNEY: It's really good   

for your skin.

HARRY: I don't know if you're   

lying or not. KOURTNEY: I swear.   

DENNIS: No, really.

LARSA: He's like, "Who would"   

do that?"   

Harry, don't go too far.

We might need you.   

HARRY: Oh.

I'm thinking about being a club   

promoter. ]] LARSA: Totally.   

Like, on... like, once a year?

HARRY: Yeah.   

KOURTNEY: Larsa's spent more

time in the club...    

(laughter) LARSA: Than the DJs?    

KOURTNEY: (chuckles) Yeah.

LARSA: Stop. I like...    

I like music and I like to

dance.    

Kourtney, I feel like we should

do a hip-hop class.    

KOURTNEY: A hip-hop class?

LARSA: Yeah.    

HARRY: That would be f*re.

LARSA: Isn't that so sick?    

HARRY: You guys would k*ll that.    

LARSA: And I feel like we

have to convince Kim to do it,    

too. ]] HARRY: That's genius.    

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God.

She's the worst dancer.    

LARSA: That's why she needs

lessons.    

Her husband's a rapper, she

needs to learn how to dance.    

KOURTNEY: I mean, she did

and she    

got kicked off...

HARRY: She did? (Laughs)    

That's so funny.

I didn't know that.    

KOURTNEY: I feel like none of

us in our family are, like,    

great dancers.

INSTRUCTOR: You know how to    

dance salsa? ]] KHLOE: No.    

KIM: No.

INSTRUCTOR: Actually, it's    

very simple. One, two, three.    

And five, six, seven.

One, two, three.    

And five, six, seven.

YOUNES: You didn't dance yet?    

KOURTNEY: Yes.

YOUNES: Yeah, you did?    

Well, don't stop because I'm

here.    

KOURTNEY: I think it would be

fun if we had some dance moves.    

And I've been trying to not take

myself so seriously, and just do    

more fun things, so I want to

spice up our lives a little.    

Why not?

LARSA: Kourtney, are we doing    

this? ]] KOURTNEY: Yes.    

LARSA: Let's start in hip-hop.    

KOURTNEY: Okay. HARRY: Wow.    

Honestly, you have to dance.

(Larsa laughs)    

♪ ♪    

KIM: Hi. ]] LA'REINA: Hi.    

KIM: How are you?

LA'REINA: Good.    

JONATHAN: Oh, my God.

KIM: Wait, so you had a bad    

night? ]] LA'REINA: Yeah.    

I was, like, I started having,

like, pains, like, at like  :  .    

I felt so much pressure, so I'm

like, "Okay, let's see if I'm"    

"dilating or anything this

morning." So...    

KIM: That's how I was.

Like, I thought I was giving    

birth on a plane at six months

once.    

LA'REINA: Yes. Ugh.

My goodness, it feels like it.    

KIM: I was like, "I'm not

gonna call anyone," and you're...    

And then... ]] LA'REINA: Yeah.    

JONATHAN: So is-is the baby

due, like, any day?    

KIM: It's due Sunday.

LA'REINA: Sunday.    

JONATHAN: Because just-just

so you know, the tradition is    

that I'm always...

KIM: He's always in town.    

JONATHAN: In town, by

accident, unplanned.    

LA'REINA: Really?

Please stay in town.    

JONATHAN: By the way, every

single time it happens that I'm    

here.

This is the craziest thing.    

KIM: How long are you here for?    

JONATHAN: Till Wednesday.

KIM: Okay, then it'll come    

before Wednesday.

JONATHAN: It's happening.    

So, just so you know, it's    %.

Every time. She knows.    

LA'REINA: Oh, my gosh.

I think... I think my body is,    

like, preparing.

JONATHAN: Wow. This is so    

exciting.

KIM: It's so crazy, right?    

JONATHAN: Yeah. Yeah. KIM: Yeah.    

It's, like, reality.

Like, she's coming any minute.    

I think when you have a

surrogate, you don't feel the    

everyday pains, and it just,

like, kind of creeps up on you.    

It's just crazy how fast it

comes.    

I got a call from my sister and

she was like, "All right, like",    

the baby's head's low, I think

this is it."    

And I was like, "Wait, you're

having your baby before me and"    

I'm due before you?"

CRANE: Hello.    

LA'REINA: Oh. JONATHAN: Hi.    

CRANE: Hello.

JONATHAN: How are you?    

KIM: This is my best friend,

Jonathan.    

CRANE: Hey. How are you?

LA'REINA: Hi.    

CRANE: And you're hiding in

the corner, huh?    

LA'REINA: I know.

CRANE: Well, let's hope your    

cervix is getting ready.

LA'REINA: Let's hope.    

CRANE: All right, let's have

a quickie look.    

Can you turn the light out?

So, the head is-is getting down    

there. It's a little bit lower.    

The nice news is everything

looks normal and healthy.    

Your amniotic fluid is

excellent.    

LA'REINA: Perfect.

CRANE: So from that    

perspective, I'm pretty sure we

could go a few more days.    

LA'REINA: Good.

CRANE: There's the heart    

beating away.

Really nice and steady.    

It's getting into a good

position with the spine.    

See that?

JONATHAN: Look at the little    

spine.

CRANE: But honestly, I think    

what we should just do is talk

day-to-day.    

KIM: Okay.

I have another appointment, so    

I think I'll run.

LA'REINA: Okay.    

KIM: Will you text me as soon

as you're done?    

LA'REINA: Oh, of course.

KIM: I just want to know    

cervix. LA'REINA: I will let you    

know. I promise.

JONATHAN: This is gonna be so    

exciting. All right, bye, guys.    

LA'REINA: Bye. ♪ ♪    

SCOTT: Want to sit here?

KHLOE: No, I'll sit on the    

black one, the contrast.

SCOTT: (laughs) It'll really    

pop off.

KHLOE: Ooh. So, Tristan and I    

were talking about godparents.

And I was giving him a    

suggestion.

"Hey, like, so who are we gonna    

put, like, God forbid something

bad happens to us?"    

And he got, like, really

bothered by that conversation.    

And he just doesn't want to

think about that, which I get.    

It's scary.

But I think after you've lost a    

parent, you think about those

things more.    

SCOTT: When I first started

dating Kourtney, when I was,    

like, early   s, and then she

got pregnant, and we started    

talking about making a will, and

who our child would go to if we    

ever got into an accident, and

at that time, I hadn't lost    

anybody.

Not my mom, not my dad, like,    

nobody. ]] KHLOE: Right.    

SCOTT: And she'd lost your

father, so she was like,    

"These are real things that do

happen."    

KHLOE: Right.

SCOTT: "And we need to"    

"discuss," and I was like...

KHLOE: And you thought it was    

so weird.

SCOTT: I couldn't handle it.    

I just wanted to shut down.

Then, later in life, once I saw    

it happen, I realized...

KHLOE: Now you're like,    

"You're gonna die, and you're

gonna die."    

SCOTT: I was like, "Hey,

turns out you're all out of"    

here."

I understand where Tristan's    

coming from.

It's hard to talk about.    

It's also weird having a baby,

and then knowing that you're    

responsible for somebody

forever.    

It's like... it's a lot.    

KHLOE: I am a huge planner.

I love to be prepared.    

Like, that's just how I am.

And I always felt Kourtney would    

be the godparent of my child,

but lately, I've been watching.    

Kimberly.

She's been someone that I really    

gravitate to, as a mom.

So, I mean, it's a tough choice    

between Kourtney and Kim.

For legal guardianship or    

whatever, like, obviously I want

to talk to Tristan and make,    

like, a decision on this, like,

what do we want for our    

daughter?

KIM: My beautiful little baby    

girl Chicago is finally here.

MJ: She's so beautiful.    

KRIS: She's so cute.

KOURTNEY: We're doing a flash    

mob.

KENDALL: I just think that's    

hilarious. ]] KHLOE: Oh, my God.    

I can't wait for this. Yeah!    

ROBERT: Swoop, pop!

Come on, swoop...    

KHLOE: Yeah, Kourt!

KOURTNEY: My next job is a    

flash mobber.

Do you have some kind of    

agreement in place?

Like, who's your guardian if    

something happens to you?

It's me, right?    

KHLOE: Um...

KOURTNEY: I don't know why    

this is even something Khloe has

to think about.    

♪ ♪    

KIM: I need to get my

eyebrows done, maybe Sunday.    

JONATHAN: What's wrong with

them?    

KIM: I'll show you the picture.    

Where is this?

It's got to be here.    

Someone wrote it.

It said, "What, is she trying to"    

scare the kids for Halloween?"

JONATHAN: (laughs) Girl, that    

looks scary as (bleep).

That looks like, "Oh, God, you"    

"devil." KIM: 'Cause they're just    

going up, but my face was down

and I was like this. Like...    

JONATHAN: Right.

KIM: But, like, how does this    

not happen?

JONATHAN: That's funny.    

KIM: Oh, thank you.

SERVER: You're welcome.    

JONATHAN: Yo.

KOURTNEY: Do you guys have    

gluten-free soy sauce?

And can I have a green tea,    

please? ]] SERVER  : Sure.    

KIM: I'm not that good at

chopsticks; I don't know how to    

use chopsticks.

Do you want the rubber band    

ones? ]] KIM: Pretty much.    

KOURTNEY: So Larsa and I are

gonna do a hip-hop class.    

KIM: Yeah.

KOURTNEY: You should do it    

with us. JONATHAN: A what class?    

KOURTNEY: Hip-hop.

KIM: Absolutely not.    

KOURTNEY: Why not?

JONATHAN: She is the worst    

dancer.

That would not be a good thing.    

After Prince threw her off

stage, I don't even like her    

dancing at, like, birthday

parties.    

(Kourtney laughs)

It was one of the scariest    

things in my life when he said,

"Get the (bleep) off my stage."    

In front of   ,    people.

It still freaks me out.    

KIM: Prince called me up

onstage, and I thought it was    

gonna be, like, something slow

and chill, or something that I    

could do. And then he, like,

puts on this fast song and says    

to dance.

And I was like, "Oh, my God."    

What's happening?

I'm in a nightmare right now."    

I was, like, begging to be

kicked off.    

Like, this can't be.

I can't. Like, I can't.    

Why do you want to go to

hip-hop class?    

I'm so curious.

JONATHAN: Just 'cause you go    

out at night now?

KOURTNEY: No, I don't go out    

at night.

I wanted to just have someone    

teach us some moves.

Like, someone good.    

KIM: I don't know.

I have to see what kind of moves    

they're gonna do.

JONATHAN: Well, Larsa's gonna    

do Miami moves.

That kind of (bleep).    

Kourtney's gonna, like, do mom

moves, like, you know, like...    

(whistles) ]] KIM: Bottle.    

JONATHAN: Right.

Do the gluten-free.    

KOURTNEY: This is just to

spice up our lives.    

JONATHAN: All right.

KIM: I mean, I will...    

consider doing the class.

JONATHAN: (laughs) I want to    

come for that. (Kourtney laughs)    

I will be there for that.

KIM: Wait, Jen Atkins' house    

got robbed.

JONATHAN: House got robbed?    

KIM: Oh, my God. Look.

Robbers were in her house    

stealing the jewelry, and she

had it on her phone, and she was    

watching it as they were

happening.    

JONATHAN: No.

JEN: We have you on camera.    

And the police are on the way.

KIM: This was one hour ago.    

JONATHAN: She put that on her

Insta-story?    

KIM: Yeah.

JONATHAN: That is just so    

crazy how this goes on.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.    

JONATHAN: That's why people

need to live in high-rises.    

Tall buildings with a doorman,

nobody goes in.    

KIM: Yeah, totally. ♪ ♪    

KOURTNEY: Ooh, pancakes.

Who knew they had breakfast?    

You guys knew I used to come

here with Taryll, like, every    

day. ]] KIM: Yeah, I remember.    

All the time. ]] KHLOE: Really?    

KOURTNEY: I'm telling you,

like, every day.    

We came here for Valentine's Day

once, and they had heart-shaped    

raviolis. ]] KHLOE: How cute.    

What are you eating, Kourt?

What's good here?    

KOURTNEY: I might get a salad.    

KIM: Oh, do they have

breakfast all day?    

KHLOE: Good choice.

KIM: What a treat.    

You guys, there's nothing I

would want more than one    

pancake.

Um, so, the baby scare...    

KHLOE: Yeah. KIM: Thought it was    

happening.

She said, "I'm having the worst"    

cramps, I think it's happening."

So, I was like, "Oh, my God.    

I don't have a hospital bag,

I don't have a this,    

I don't have a that."

But then she went to Paul's, and    

he said, "Nope, your cervix is

totally thick."    

KHLOE: So how quickly can

that turn to be, like...    

KIM: I don't know. A few days?    

Then I started freaking, like,

I have no baby names.    

Like, none.

KHLOE: But baby names is the    

hardest part. KOURTNEY: Cruella.    

KIM: I kind of like one

syllables.    

KHLOE: You don't care about

how Mom said, like, Milan,    

Italy, Rome, whatever.

Like, any things like that stick    

out? ]] KIM: No.    

KHLOE: No, like a city like

that.    

KIM: I, like, scoured that

map in San Fran.    

KHLOE: That's right, you did.

KIM: Any, like, zodiac signs?    

KOURTNEY: No, that's, like,

the devil.    

KIM: Any biblical something?

Aaron, Abel.    

Khloe, you're in the Bible.

I have nothing.    

KOURTNEY: Yesterday, Younes,

with his accent, he was like,    

"Wait, so is Reggie different

than Ray G?"    

Like, thinking Ray J. KHLOE: Oh.    

KOURTNEY: I go, "Oh, Ray J."

KIM: That's so funny.    

KOURTNEY: What about MJ West?

KIM: Huh?    

KOURTNEY: MJ West. KIM: What?    

KOURTNEY: MJ. ♪ ♪    

SHO TYME: Hello.

KHADIJAH: Hi, there.    

KOURTNEY: Hi.

KHADIJAH: You look too cute    

for a class.

KOURTNEY: I didn't come to    

play, hos. ]] LARSA: Hos, wha...    

Clearly you did 'cause you were

supposed to be in sneakers.    

KOURTNEY: No, this is how I

get down.    

I'm the ultimate Insta-ho.

SHO TYME: How you doing?    

Sho Tyme. Hey.

KOURTNEY: Nice to meet you.    

Wait, Kim isn't here yet?

LARSA: No, we've been waiting    

for you guys.

KHADIJAH: You're really gonna    

dance in these?

KOURTNEY: Yes, you guys.    

I didn't bring any shoes.

LARSA: Kourtney, I don't know    

how to break this to you, you're

not that good of a dancer.    

KOURTNEY: No, I'm a horrible

dancer, I want you to know that    

in advance.

And I'll tell you, Kim is way    

worse than I am.

SHO TYME: Let's, uh, come up    

some. I'm gonna make you pay for    

wearing those heels.

Okay, so. Here.    

KOURTNEY: Wait.

SHO TYME: One, two, three.    

Ba, da, uh, uh. Ba, uh, uh.    

KOURTNEY: Dancing is not my

numero uno skill.    

SHO TYME: Ba, da, uh. Boom, ha.    

KOURTNEY: Wait, what?

SHO TYME: Ha. Boom.    

One, two...

KOURTNEY: It's just dance for    

fun. Not, like, seriously.    

Like, why can I not roll my

shoulder?    

SHO TYME: So this way.

Da, da, da. Da, ha.    

One more time. One...

KOURTNEY: You guys, I'm    

really good. (All laughing)    

I'm just kidding.

SHO TYME: Okay, so...    

LARSA: I hope that's Kim.

KIM: Who's ready?    

LARSA: We're so ready for you.    

KIM: To dance.

KOURTNEY: Get ready.    

KIM: I'm, like, a notorious

non-dancer, like, it's a thing.    

So let me see what you guys are

doing.    

LARSA: No, it's not even that

hard, you should do it.    

KIM: Well, I don't know if

it's... I don't care about hard.    

I just don't dance.

SHO TYME: Okay.    

KIM: I make money moves.

SHO TYME: (laughs)    

It's kind of fast, but we're

gonna do it slow 'cause it's...    

the song is fast.

You're just having... boom,    

boom, boom, ha. Boom, boom.    

Ha, boom, boom. You got this.

KIM: Oh, yeah, no, I don't    

dance. (All laughing)    

SHO TYME: Can we play...

Can you find me the chorus?    

One, two, three. ♪ ♪    

Boom. Boom.

Left, right, left, right...    

KIM: I can't, you guys.

SHO TYME: Slide. Up. Boom.    

Ha. Walk. Walk.

KIM: You guys need to get...    

I could be a stage mom.

You need to get more into it.    

LARSA: Okay.

KIM: Like-like, more into it.    

LARSA: Oh, she can do it from

the sidelines.    

KIM: I don't need to do

anything, you guys do.    

LARSA: But come on, will you

dance with us now, though?    

KIM: No.

KOURTNEY: Next time you're at    

a Kanye show, you could be

backstage like this...    

LARSA: Come on, Kim.

Do something. Try. Try.    

KIM: No. SHO TYME: Okay, you can    

assist me. You can tell me...    

KIM: 'Kay.

You just keep doing you 'cause    

it's good.

KOURTNEY: Come on. Do it.    

KIM: No. ]] LARSA: Go ahead.    

KOURTNEY: Kim has this

inability to let loose.    

She's not even moving.

I mean, if she's just gonna sit    

here and critique us, then she

can leave.    

KIM: Oh, my God. (Laughs)

LARSA: Stop.    

KHLOE: My job is to entertain

Kim until we come across this    

flash mob.

KIM: What the (bleep) is    

going on? Oh.    

KHLOE: I'm going back and

forth between Kourtney or Kim as    

being the guardian.

KRIS: So, you just have to    

think, "Where would I want my

child being raised?"    

♪ ♪    

(dog barking)

KHLOE: That dog, I think,    

needs a little attention.

KOURTNEY: Reign loves to pay    

her attention.

He's just napping.    

KENDALL: Big dogs, I'm

telling you, it's the wave.    

KOURTNEY: Um, we did this

dance class the other day.    

KHADIJAH: It was full-on

hip-hop choreography.    

KOURTNEY: We were, like,

learning a full dance routine.    

KHLOE: I would die.

KOURTNEY: Kim was in the    

class, and she wouldn't do one

move.    

KHADIJAH: Everything was

like, "Kim, will you try?"    

"Mm, no."

KOURTNEY: Like, she literally    

sat on the floor and wouldn't

move.    

KHLOE: But why are we here

today?    

Like, we're doing what here?

KOURTNEY: 'Cause we're doing    

a flash mob.

We're gonna embarrass Kim.    

We're gonna have you take her to

Go Greek to get yogurt, and    

we're gonna do it in that

center.    

KHLOE: But why is it for Kim?

KOURTNEY: Because to, like,    

remind her that you don't have

to take yourself so seriously.    

KHLOE: Oh, my God.

I can't wait for this.    

KENDALL: I just think that's

hilarious.    

(doorbell rings)

KOURTNEY: Do you want to do    

the mob with us?

KENDALL: I don't know.    

I'm, like, scared.

KOURTNEY: Well, we're meeting    

with the girl now.

So do you want to just see what    

it's like? ]] KENDALL: Yeah.    

KOURTNEY: I hired instructors

to put together the flash mob,    

so they're coming over today to

teach us the dance routine.    

I hope that this is easier than

our dance class.    

I'm so excited.

KHLOE: You guys choreograph    

for flash mobs? ]] ROBERT: Yeah.    

KHLOE: But how do they know

what you're choreographing?    

STACI: So we make a little

video and put it online.    

KHLOE: Stop.

STACI: And so, when people    

sign up, they get, like, wear

this, do this dance, and then    

they show up to rehearsal.

And we never tell them, like,    

who it's for or where it is.

KHLOE: That is so cute.    

STACI: Yeah.

ROBERT: Maybe we should,    

like, learn the chorus, so you

can kind of feel it.    

KOURTNEY: Okay.

ROBERT: Yeah, come on.    

Super easy.

Okay, so, the first part, it's    

kind of, like, you're telling

someone to come here.    

One, two, h*t. Three, four.    

KHLOE: Yeah, Kourt!

ROBERT: Kourtney's working    

it... did you watch the video?

KOURTNEY: No.    

KHADIJAH: She's such a dancer

already.    

ROBERT: You're just gonna

swoop it, pop.    

KHLOE: Oh, (bleep).

ROBERT: Yeah. Swoop... pop!    

Boom, ha. Boom, ha.

Boom, ha. You got it.    

KHLOE: Kourtney, you're

actually, like, a fly girl right    

now. ROBERT: Boom, boom, boom...    

KOURTNEY: Come on, guys.

My next job is a flash mobber.    

ROBERT: Nice, now pray up.

And then around.    

Yeah, Kourtney! Come on!

KHLOE: Oh, yeah, Kourt!    

KOURTNEY: Khloe, come on.

You know you want to try it.    

ROBERT: Right.

Why don't you just learn it for    

fun? Yeah, come on, loosen up.    

And h*t, h*t, and five.

Six goes seven, eight. Yeah?    

So then we do that twice in a

row.    

KOURTNEY: It's like I've been

doing it my whole life.    

ROBERT: Do you want to try it

with music? Can we get music?    

KOURTNEY: This feels really

right.    

ROBERT: Here we go! ♪ ♪    

ROBERT: Kourtney, come in front.    

KOURTNEY: Oh. (Khloe laughs)    

ROBERT: Seven, eight.

Push, then... Yeah!    

You're crushing it, come on.

Here we go, pray it up.    

One, two, three. Work it up.    

Now we gonna turn... Hey!    

Then, walk. Step, hey.    

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, h*t, two.    

KHLOE: This is so dramatic.

KOURTNEY: Kendall has her own    

choreographed dance.

KENDALL: (laughs) I'm making    

something else up over here.

KOURTNEY: She's gonna do a    

solo act in the... in the middle.

ROBERT: Yeah, we'll get    

around, make a big circle.

KENDALL: Please don't do    

that. ]] ROBERT: No.    

KENDALL: I got looped into

joining the flash mob just by    

being in the house.

ROBERT: Push. Push that way.    

KHADIJAH: Go, Kendall.

ROBERT: And boom...    

KENDALL: I didn't really sign

up for it, but you know what,    

I'll practice with them, and

I'll enjoy the practice.    

I don't know if I'm gonna go to

the real thing.    

ROBERT: Three, here we go!

This is the big finish.    

We're gonna walk back. Go. Back.    

Two, three, four.

Push, six, seven, boom.    

(laughs)

KOURTNEY: Wait, when you're    

all done, does everyone just

go... and start, like, shopping    

again? ROBERT: And then we just,    

like, yeah, disappear.

STACI: Like it never    

happened. ]] ROBERT: Yep.    

KOURTNEY: Khloe, don't even

talk to me.    

KHLOE: Wait, I had no idea.

That is the best.    

That no one acknowledges each

other.    

Oh, that's so genius.

Leave! Everyone, go their way.    

I'm going with Kim. ♪ ♪    

KHLOE: Cute.

KOURTNEY: Thank you.    

I've literally been running

around from doctor to doctor.    

KHLOE: How was your doctor's?

KOURTNEY: Good. I went to.    

Byrnes, and we, um, I told him

I've been feeling so foggy in my    

brain, I almost tripped today,

like, three times.    

KHLOE: I'm so foggy in my brain.    

KOURTNEY: He said it was from

taking antibiotics, he thinks.    

KHLOE: Oh. Kourtney, don't do

this to me.    

KOURTNEY: And I told him how

my back has been hurting.    

KHLOE: Uh-uh.

KOURTNEY: Anyways, I went    

in...

KHLOE: That is why your kids    

are always sick.

KOURTNEY: Wait, no, my kids    

are never sick.

KHLOE: You tell me they're    

always sick.

KOURTNEY: You know who's    

always sick? North and Saint.    

KHLOE: Oh. Okay.

I love the mommy shaming.    

KOURTNEY: Anyways, I actually

saw something on TMZ.    

Did you see this? ]] KHLOE: Hmm?    

KOURTNEY: Saying that none of

our guys have custody    

agreements.

KHLOE: I did see that, and I    

thought that was so (bleep).

First of all, why would you guys    

even write this story? Like...

KOURTNEY: So strange.    

But then I...

KHLOE: Such a weird...    

KOURTNEY: It made me think.

Do you have some kind of    

agreement in place... like, you

have to make your things to your    

will. KHLOE: Every sister gets a    

certain amount, don't get too

excited.    

KOURTNEY: No, I just meant

more for your kid.    

KHLOE: No.

KOURTNEY: Like, who's your    

guardian if something happens to

you?    

It's me, right?

KHLOE: Um... I mean, I don't    

know.

So, what I was told is that    

I can't set that up until I have

a birth certificate.    

KOURTNEY: Oh. I think you

have to think who has the best    

values of, like, what you want

your kids to be around and see    

and experience.

I don't know why this is even    

something Khloe has to think

about.    

My passion is my kids and my

family, and we're always doing    

fun things and traveling, and

the kids have, like, a sense of    

freedom.

But we also have boundaries.    

So, I'm obviously the best

choice.    

KHLOE: No, I don't know.

This is, like, a huge thing.    

KOURTNEY: I told the kids her

name today.    

Mason goes, "What?"

KIM: Everyone's gonna be    

like, (gasps) "Oh, my God.

That's the craziest name."    

KOURTNEY: Well, yeah.    

Did you decide what you're

doing?    

KHLOE: I've got to witness

your parenting skills versus.    

Kourtney's parenting skills.

KIM: Whose do you like    

better?    

♪ ♪    

KIM: Khlo? ]] KHLOE: Yeah?    

KIM: Where are you?

KHLOE: Um, my room.    

I love your hair like that.

You look so cute.    

KIM: Thank you.

I come bearing gifts.    

KHLOE: Oh, my God.

KIM: Are you ready?    

KHLOE: Yeah. ]] KIM: 'Kay.    

This might get you excited.

KHLOE: Oh, my God.    

KIM: Since you only do pink.

KHLOE: How cute.    

KIM: Got you a little pink

bikini.    

KHLOE: Oh, my God.

This is so cute.    

KIM: And I got North a

matching one.    

KHLOE: Kim, stop.

KIM: Um, and then are you    

ready for this?

KHLOE: Oh, my God.    

KIM: That's Tristan's style,

right?    

KHLOE: That's so Tristan's

style.    

I feel like Kim has been so

selfless during my pregnancy.    

She's trying to just help, like,

make sure that you feel your    

best, look your best, have the

best.    

KIM: What cars do you have?

You're never gonna want    

something that you couldn't put

a car seat in.    

KHLOE: When did you pop?

KIM: Like, six months.    

This one I just kept getting

wider and wider.    

It was horrendous.

KHLOE: Like, thank God I can    

vent to you, like, my sister.

You get it.    

She's so... secure in her life

that I feel like she would be an    

incredible godparent.

She's just been a great friend    

and sister.

Stop, I got to send this...    

KIM: And a Givenchy leather

skirt.    

KHLOE: He's at his game, but

let me video...    

Babe, look what Kim just brought

over.    

For the babes.

KIM: A little Givenchy    

b*mb, the little flowers with

the crosses.    

KHLOE: Gi-ven-chy.

KIM: And a Givenchy leather    

skirt. KHLOE: How cute is this?    

♪ ♪    

MELISSA: All right. Finito.    

Finito.

KOURTNEY: North is such a    

tomboy.

When she was over yesterday...    

I mean, she is and she isn't.

KIM: How funny is that song?    

Were you there?

KOURTNEY: Oh, I didn't see    

it, no.

KIM: North said, I'll make up    

the song, and P will play the

piano.    

So listen to the song.

She sings about the dogs.    

(North singing)    

And P is just sitting there.

(North singing)    

So if you watch it on mute,

you think she's singing, like,    

a really great song, 'cause

she's so into it.    

KOURTNEY: Oh, she's so dramatic.    

KIM: So Khloe called me and

told me that... like, this,    

like, all these people are,

like, making these predictions.    

And I posted this thing of

Louis Vuitton.    

'Cause I was just cleaning out

my closet.    

And everyone's like, "Oh, my

God, her name's gonna be Louis",    

"it's gonna be Vuitton," like,

everyone's going crazy.    

And I'm like, "Oh, I just saw,

that, like, the designer from."    

Louis Vuitton resigned.

And his last show was with Kate.    

"Moss and Naomi Campbell

yesterday."    

KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.

KIM: So I just saw a picture    

of, like, my Louis thing.

I'd put it up and it was just,    

like, so ridiculous.

KOURTNEY: I told the kids her    

name today. (Kim chuckles)    

Mason goes, "What?

I thought you were gonna say",    

like, Emily or something."

KIM: Everyone's gonna be    

like, (gasps) "Oh, my God,

that's the craziest name!"    

And then they're gonna go crazy.

And then, like...    

KOURTNEY: And then they get

used to it.    

KIM: And then they'll get

used to it.    

And then it'll be like, "Oh,

that's normal."    

Like, later. ]] KOURTNEY: Yeah.    

KIM: You know what I mean?

KOURTNEY: Yeah.    

But I mean, if you think if you

would've said North at the    

time, they would've said the

same things.    

KIM: I know. KOURTNEY: So...    

KIM: I know.

KOURTNEY: Last night, the    

paparazzi asked me, "Is her

name gonna be Donda?"    

It's a beautiful name."

That's what they said.    

KIM: But, like... I just...

KOURTNEY: Someone wrote me    

and said you should name her

Gardenia.    

KIM: I know. I got, like,

the most ridiculous things.    

Like, Queen, This...

MELISSA: What about Miracle?    

KIM: Yeah.

His cousin's like, "I know."    

Miracle."

And I'm like, Miracle West?    

That sounds like Miracle Whip.

(Melissa laughs)    

And that's, like, the biggest,

like, stripper name of all time.    

And then he's like, "What about

Precious?"    

I'm like, "Okay, we just clearly

don't have the same taste in"    

"names." (laughter)    

♪ ♪    

KHLOE: We are at this outdoor

mall, and my job is to entertain.    

Kim until we come across this

flash mob.    

Let's get ice cream and then

walk around.    

KIM: You're so adventurous.

KHLOE: Well, I just want to    

walk around.

This is so cute out here.    

I have so much anxiety because

I have to get Kim to this    

certain place, so this flash mob

starts, and I just...    

I swear, I think I am gonna,

like, give it away 'cause I'm so    

anxious.

KOURTNEY: Did they get their    

yogurt already?

KHLOE: Oh, my God.    

Peanut butter... yum.

EMPLOYEE: Did you want two?    

KOURTNEY: Ooh. Ooh.

KHLOE: Let's go walk around,    

Keeks.

STACI: My heart is beating    

out of my chest right now.

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God.    

KIM: I don't even know

what's... what else is in here.    

KHLOE: Me, neither, that's

why I want to just walk.    

KIM: Oh, I've never been all

over here.    

(gong sounds) ♪ ♪    

KIM: Oh.

What the (bleep) is going on?    

KHLOE: Kourtney?

KRIS: Oh, here's our baby.    

MJ: How does it feel to be a

mother and not to carry the    

baby? ]] KIM: Honestly?    

♪ ♪

KIM: Oh, I've never been    

all over here. (Gong sounds)    

♪ ♪

KIM: Oh.    

What the (bleep) is going on?

(laughs)    

I'm literally gonna cry. ♪ ♪    

I was like, "What the (bleep)

is going on?"    

♪ ♪

KHLOE: Don't tell me you know    

it, too. ]] KIM: Oh, no, no.    

Oh, no, no, that's where I draw

the line.    

♪ ♪

ROBERT: Hey, come on!    

(whoops)    

KHLOE: I'm too pregnant to do

it.    

KIM: (laughs)

The fact that Kourtney and.    

Khadija... This is wild.    

♪ ♪

I'm literally dying inside    

over this flash mob.

Like, I just can't even believe    

you guys.

I'm like, "I'm gonna have to run"    

if they try to pull me into

this."    

ALL: Whoo! (Cheering, applause)    

KOURTNEY: Okay, go.

KHLOE: (laughs)    

Like we don't know it's her.

We know it's you.    

KIM: What is going...?

You played this one up really    

well.

KHLOE: We got to go get her.    

KOURTNEY: After you ruined

our dance class with your    

critiques, I thought it would

be funny to embarrass you.    

Did I succeed? ]] KIM: You did.    

(applause, cheering)

KIM: You guys.    

I am, like, crying.

KHADIJAH: Really?    

Can you believe it?

KOURTNEY: Good.    

KIM: That was a big win,

on your part.    

So why do people do flash mobs?

KOURTNEY: For fun.    

Isn't it a thrill?

KHADIJAH: It is.    

I got nervous right when they

were, like... started singing,    

like, "I can see Kim, I can see

Khloe," and I was like, "Oh,    

my gosh."

KOURTNEY: We were like, "Oh,    

my God."

I almost told Kanye that I was    

going to do the flash mob to

you.    

But I was like, he's gonna tell

me it's, it's not acceptable for    

his wife or something.

And I was like, I can't... I'm    

not even telling him. (Laughter)    

KHLOE: That was a smart move.

KIM: That's so funny.    

KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.

KHLOE: Flash mob, check.    

♪ ♪    

KRIS: Oh, Khloe, Khloe, Khloe...    

KHLOE: I can barely breathe

in this body.    

KRIS: Me, too.

KHLOE: Mom, who... how did    

you pick who your kids' legal

guardians were?    

KRIS: Well, I think when

Kendall and Kylie... when Kendall    

was born, I thought about who I

felt the closest to, and who I    

would love their... the way that

they brought their kids up.    

KHLOE: Mm-hmm.

KRIS: And the way they ran    

their families, and what they

were all about.    

KHLOE: Food for thought.

KRIS: Why? What are you    

getting at?

KHLOE: I'm going back and    

forth between Kourtney or Kim as

being the guardian...    

KRIS: Yeah. KHLOE: For my baby.    

KRIS: Well, you spend enough

time in both of their houses.    

So you just have to think "Where

would I want my child being"    

raised? In which environment?    

And who would I feel like my

baby's gonna be most comfortable    

and most loved?"

I mean, Kourtney has a certain    

set of values, and she goes to

church.    

And I think she would raise a

child to believe in God.    

Kim, on the other hand, you

know, she's very hands-on with    

the homework, and with just

making sure that the kids were    

always, you know, where they're

supposed to be.    

And she's very attentive, and

she's got their...    

The grooming's impeccable, and

the... that all matters to me.    

I mean, you can always pick two

legal guardians.    

No. ]] KHLOE: Too many...    

KRIS: Cooks in the kitchen?

KHLOE: Assumptions, wha-what    

if's, this, that...

KRIS: Uh, you want it spelled    

out.

Just listen to your heart and    

listen to your mind.

Because those two things will    

tell you exactly who you're

supposed to pick.    

KHLOE: So, I have thought

this over long and hard.    

And I have decided what I want

to do.    

I just have to make the best

decision for my daughter.    

But I also am not trying to

hurt anybody's feelings.    

My brain can't handle much more.

KRIS: You go rest your little    

head, missy. ♪ ♪    

KOURTNEY: Um, did you decide

what you're doing?    

Like, are you setting something

up in your will?    

KHLOE: So, here's... I'm

actually really lucky that I've    

got to witness your parenting

skills versus Kourtney's    

parenting skills.

KIM: Whose do you like    

better?

KHLOE: I just think you have    

different parenting styles.

But anyway, I can't make    

anything official until the baby

is born.    

But I am going to probably have

Kim as the legal guardian if,    

God forbid, something happens.    

KHLOE: So I can't make

anything official until the baby    

is born.

But I am going to probably have.    

Kim as the legal guardian if,

God forbid, something happens.    

Just because I've, I don't know

my parenting style until I have    

a baby. ]] KIM: Mm-hmm.    

KHLOE: But from what I

envision my parenting style to    

be, I do think it will be more

like Kim, a little more    

stricter.

Watching Kimberly be a mom, I    

really respect her parenting

skills, not that I don't respect.    

Kourtney's.

I relate to how Kim parents    

more.

But at the end of the day, this    

family is so close, and we love

each other so much and if    

anything, God forbid, were to

happen, I know my daughter is in    

the best of hands no matter who

her legal guardian is.    

KOURTNEY: Guess what?

You don't have to give me an    

explanation.

I got three kids and I'm busy on    

my own. ]] KHLOE: And you're at    

capacity.

KOURTNEY: No, I'm not at    

capacity.

KHLOE: You want one more.    

KOURTNEY: One to... one plus.

KHLOE: Kourtney.    

KOURTNEY: Hmm.

KHLOE: Okay, we'll get into    

that later, but it will be the

Keeks.    

KOURTNEY: Congratulations.

(Khloe chuckles)    

KIM: It is my honor.

And I will take such good care    

of your kids. ]] KHLOE: I know!    

KOURTNEY: It's okay.

I've gone back and forth.    

I told you.

First I had you, then I had Kim.    

Then I have you again.

KHLOE: Oh! I'm back on the    

list? KIM: What made you kick me    

off? KOURTNEY: I decided that...    

KIM: I'm so strict.

KOURTNEY: Your core moral    

values. ]] KHLOE: Oh, my God.    

KOURTNEY: I mean, I'm a

little bit disappointed that I'm    

not the guardian.

But honestly, you don't know    

what your parenting style is

until you have kids.    

So, I think once Khloe has her

own daughter and she is, you    

know, really a mom, then maybe

she will realize that we have    

more in common than she thinks

as far as parenting styles.    

You never know, Khloe might

switch back to me.    

Hopefully we never have to deal

with this, guys. So...    

KHLOE: I know. We don't.

KIM: Yeah.    

KHLOE: We don't. KIM: We don't.    

KHLOE: We don't. ♪ ♪    

KIM: My beautiful little baby

girl Chicago is finally here.    

MJ: Oh, here's our baby.

KIM: The name Chicago,    

everyone asks me where we came

up with that.    

And Kanye's originally from

Chicago and the city is really    

connected to his memory of his

mom.    

And so, we went with Chicago.

MJ: (gasps) She's so    

beautiful. KRIS: She's so cute.    

KHLOE: Look at her hair.    

KIM: Isn't she so cute?

MJ: She's so pretty.    

Oh, my gosh.

KHLOE: She's so cute.    

MJ: She looks a lot like you

in the mouth and nose.    

(gasps) Hello.

KHLOE: Kim, her nose is    

really cute. MJ: So pretty, Kim.    

KIM: Isn't she cute?

MJ: So beautiful.    

She looks like you in the mouth.

KHLOE: Oh, God, she has so    

much hair. ]] MJ: So pretty.    

Kris had that, too.

KHLOE: She's so cute and    

little.

MJ: Kris had hair like that.    

KIM: She has your hairstyle

right now.    

KRIS: Yeah. ]] KHLOE: Hi.    

KRIS: We're twinning.

KIM: She does these really    

mean faces.

KHLOE: She's very expressive    

at so young.

KIM: Yeah, very expressive.    

KHLOE: She's like me.

KIM: Like, she has this,    

like, wrinkle right here, the

same one Kanye has.    

The moment I laid eyes on my

baby, I was so in love.    

Hi, cutie!

And I am just so excited to    

have this addition to my family.    

MJ: I was just gonna ask you,

how does it feel to be a mother    

and not to carry the baby the

full time?    

KIM: Honestly?

MJ: Without the worries of...    

KIM: When it's done, I think

it was the best decision I ever    

made. ]] MJ: I do, too.    

KIM: I think it was such an

amazing experience.    

I would recommend it for anyone.

MJ: Well, I'm not thinking of    

it, I just... ]] KIM: Not you.    

(laughter)

Um, I am, like, the biggest fan    

of surrogacy.

All my fears of everything that    

I thought was gonna happen,

like, am I gonna connect?    

Am I gonna feel connected?

Am I...?    

MJ: But you do.

KIM: All of that goes out the    

door and you just, like,

instantly feel connected.    

It's crazy how professional

surrogacy is and how instantly    

when the baby came out, there

was no weird feeling that I was    

so nervous about.

Am I gonna connect with the    

baby?

Am I gonna feel the same way as    

if it's, you know, me birthing

my kids?    

And it was.

It was the same exact feeling.    

So, that was instantly a relief

for me 'cause that was what I    

was most nervous about and I

just feel so lucky that I've had    

such a good experience with

surrogacy.    

MJ: You're gonna be good at

this, kiddo.    

KHLOE: Oh, why thank you.

KRIS: You are.    

MJ: You certainly will.

KHLOE: I'm just holding a    

sleeping baby.

It's not hard yet.    

(chuckles)

MJ: This is why you're so    

good. KHLOE: When you're holding    

someone else's sleeping baby,

it's easy.    

MJ: You look like a pro.

I want a picture of your body.    

KIM: Oh, my body. KHLOE: Wow.    

Don't ask her twice.

MJ (laughing): Wow. It's a    

full photo sh**t.

KHLOE: Are you smiling?    

KRIS: Put your bikini on.

KHLOE: Look at her, she's    

smiling. She's smiling.    

KRIS: She's laughing at her

mom. (Laughs)    

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God, did you

hear Kylie's in labor?    

KIM: What?

KYLIE: I'm not trying to keep    

it secret.

I'm really doing this for    

myself.

KIM: Hey, Ky. Hi, Stormi.    

KYLIE: Oh, my God.

KHLOE: You and Kourtney are,    

like, at each other's throats

these days.    

KOURTNEY: Mom (bleep) me in

so many ways.    

KRIS (crying): I never want

you to be disappointed in me.    

KHLOE: Gabbana, hi.

(Gabbana whines)    

She had a little bit of a

seizure.    

KIM: She fully convulsed.

It's nearing time.
{"type": "series", "show": "Keeping Up With the Kardashians", "episode": "15x06 - We Love Chicago"}