Kus: We excaliburlings do our work by being used as bloodsucking biological w*apon.

Kus: But Maganagi is worse.

Kus: His staple food is swords, meaning...

Kus: He's a cannibal.

Hij: My bad feeling was on the mark.

Hij: That man wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.

Hij: It was his sword!

Gin: Looks like the one sword we really wanted to avoid

Gin: showed up in the hands of the one guy who shouldn't wield it.

Mag: Nothing vanished.

Mag: They're right here in my belly.

Mag: Both your sword

Mag: and this man.

Gintama,OP Card: Gintama

Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc

Title: The Strongest Sword, and the Dullest Sword

Shin: I-Is that...

Kon: S-Sogo?

Hij: That's not him anymore.

Kon: T-Toshi!

Hij: Damn, we were too late.

Gin: Hey, Kusanagi, could it be?

Warning,Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!

Mag: I'm amazed you had the gall to treat me,Cursed Sword Maganagi, as you did.

Mag: Nobody has ever mocked me so much.No vessel has been such a pain to take over.

Mag: You were the first, Master.

Mag: But your superhuman body and mind, rare anywhere in the universe,

Mag: already belong to me, Maganagi.

Mag: The strongest sword and the strongest vessel are now one.

Mag: At last, I have attained strength unparalleled across the universe.

Kus: He got consumed! That bro got consumed by Maganagi!

Hij: Capture him!

Mag: Wow, what do you think you're doing to one of your comrades?

Kon: H-Hey, Toshi!

Hij: Just trust me for now. That's not Sogo anymore.

Hij: Your stupid game is over.

Hij: We know what you really are.Throw that sword away.

Mag: What are you saying? I'm in the middle of a real-sword fight here.

Mag: If I threw my sword away, I'd get sliced in half.

Hij: And if you won't do it,I'll just cut you down myself.

Mag: Can you do it?

Mag: Can you guys cut me down?

Mag: Because I can cut anything.

Kon: O-Our swords!

Mag: I'm sick of eating dull swords.

Kon: Sogo!

Gin: Hey, you're going after the wrong guy.

Gin: I'm your opponent.

Hij: Hey! You're the one who went after the wrong guy!

Hij: Why'd you throw poop at my face?

Gin: I didn't. It got sucked in to your face likeit was going home to where it belonged.

Hij: Whose face are you calling a toilet?!

Hij: I'm gonna k*ll him for sure.

Hij: Wait, Toshi.

Tet: Gin-san...

Gin: Stay away.

Gin: This is a real-sword fight.Keep your noses out of it.

Tet: Gin-san, this is no time for that.

Shin: She's right. Even if you want to fight, your sword's gone.

Gin: But I have a sword right here.

Gin: The best sword and wielder in the universe?

Gin: What's so scary about that? All they can do is cut.

Gin: We're the dullest sword and the man with the most constipated ass in the universe.

Gin: Not even you can cut us down.

Shin: All we've got is negatives!

Kus: G-Gintoki-han!

Gin: Maganagi...

Gin: No matter how much you corner them,

Gin: you can't sever the bond between Kusanagi and Scabberina, between husband and wife.

Sca: So-kun!

Sca: What's wrong, So-kun?!

Shin: It's already severed, though! She's not worried about us at all!

Gin: Even if you lose your memories, the vow between husband and wife...

Gin: The depraved memories of the ***** they exchanged thousands of times

Gin: will never vanish from their bodies!

Shin: In the end, they're only linked by dirty things!

Mag: Fool. If you fight at such close range,

Mag: you'll be forced to step deep into your enemy's reach.

Mag: And once I'm awakened, any sword within my reach is rendered dull and useless!

Kus: No! Don't touch him!

Kus: If you touch him right now,I'll be cannibalized!

Kus: Gintoki-han!

Gin: Don't touch the sword? Are you stupid?

Gin: That's obvious in a real-sword fight.

Kon: No way. He's seeing through all of Sogo's moves.

Gin: You probably don't get it since you change bodies all the time.

Gin: But for us, it's all over if we get cut by a sword once.

Gin: We won't get anything done if we hesitate, though.

Gin: When it comes to real-sword fights,

Gin: only those crazy enough to walk into mortal danger bare-handed are cut out for it.

Gin: Right, Okita-kun?

Gin: Actually, you're not him.

Gin: His moves aren't this easy to read.

Gin: What did you even take over his body for?

Mag: You little!

Gin: I don't know or care how many blades you've eaten in your life.

Gin: But I know that I've beaten many more than that!

Kus: C-Crap... Gintoki-han, I can't go on.

Kus: Th-The Viagra's effects r-ran out.

Gin: Huh? Wait a second!

Gin: You can't pull that now! And I don't remember giving you any Viagra!

Kus: Shaddup! I told ya my speed's all I got!

Kus: This is all yer fault for draggin' out the foreplay!

Gin: My foreplay doesn't take too long,you broken bastard!

Gin: Get it up already! This is way worse than just being dull!

Gin: You're basically a soggy Curl snack now!

Kag: Don't worry, Gin-chan! The cheese flavor is good even when soggy!

Gin: You keep your mouth shut!

Mag: You let the chance of a lifetime slip.

Mag: Thanks for your helpful advice!

Gin: His moves are getting sharper!

Mag: Did you think I can only control the body, the vessel?

Mag: My belly is filled with the experience and tactics of everyone I've eaten.

Mag: By the time I get used to this body,

Mag: I'll bring out more power than it originally had.

Mag: You know why?

Mag: Because I've eaten and beaten more blades than you could ever hope to!

Gin: Guess he's not called a cursed sword for nothing.

Shin: Th-This is bad.

Shin: He has to avoid contact with the blade. And Kusanagi-san's all limp, to boot!

Gin: I've gotta do something, or I'll lose here.

Shin: Gin-san!

Sca: That's enough! Stop it, you two!

Kus: S-Scabberina.

Mag: Oh?

Sca: Stop fighting over me.

Sca: I can't bear to watch So-kun getting hurt anymore!

Kus: Wh-What're ya sayin', Scabberina?

Kus: Th-That ain't your sword or So-kun.

Kus: That's Cursed Sword Maganagi, the one who put us through hell!

Sca: Shut it, geezer! I don't give a flying rat's ass about you!

Sca: All I care about is So-kun's safety.

Kus: S-Scabberina...

Kus: Did ya forget about not just me, but Maganagi, too?

Sca: I beg you, So-kun. Please stop...

Kus: Scabberina!

Kus: Maganagi, you bastard!

Mag: Kusanagi, it seems your blade isn't the only thing that's gone dull.

Mag: That girl hasn't forgotten a thing.

Mag: She hasn't forgotten anything about you or me.

Mag: She just never knew.

Kus: She never knew? What do ya mean?

Mag: Haven't you figured it out yet?

Mag: That scabbard isn't yours or mine.

Mag: It's your daughter, Scarlett.

Kus: Say what?

Tet: What does he mean, daughter? How do they give birth?

Mag: I don't blame you for mistaking her.

Mag: Scarlett does look exactly like a younger version of her.

Mag: Scabberina was already pregnant with your daughter when you were separated.

Mag: And she raised her all by herself,

Mag: believing that you three would live as a family again one day.

Mag: But she was a single mother.

Mag: It wasn't easy for a scabbard without a sword to protect her child.

Mag: So she chose to survive by housing all kinds of other swords,

Mag: even if it meant betraying her husband.

Mag: But by then, she was already drained and exhausted.

Kus: Wh-Why? Why do ya know all this?!

Mag: Isn't that obvious? It's because I saved her from the hell she was in.

Mag: In the place of a dullard who never came to help her,

Mag: I freed Scabberina from her suffering.

Kus: D-Don't tell me, ya...

Mag: The reason I'm here right now is to keep my promise to her.

Sca: I don't care what happens to me.

Sca: But please help those two meet.

Sca: Even just one look will do. Let him see his daughter alive and well.

Sen: One look? Do I seem that heartless to you?

Mag: I'll bring your entire family together.

Mag: All three of you can meet in my belly.

Kus: Maganagi, you...

Gin: K-Kusanagi!

Gin: Don't tell me, back then?

Gin: Didn't I tell you? From the moment you tricked me, your fates were sealed.

Kus: W-Wait, Maganagi!

Mag: Fret not. I'll send your daughter after you at once.

Mag: Resent your own dull blade if you must.

Mag: Curse your foolishness for daring to defy me, Maganagi.

Kus: Don't!

Kus: Stop it, Maganagi!

Kus: Stop it, Maganagi!

Kus: Leave her alone!

Kus: Leave our... Leave our daughter alone!

Shin: Kusanagi-san!

Mag: This is the end...

Mag: I can't move?

Oki: Hold up. You're jumping the g*n.

Oki: It's too early to go back into the scabbard.

Mag: Y-You...

Kon: S-Sogo?

Mag: How are you still here? I consumed your mind!

Mag: Th-The scabbard's... This can't be.

Mag: I, Maganagi, cannot control this man?

Oki: The duel isn't over yet.

Oki: They're not done yet.

Mag: What are you...

Mag: What do you plan to do withjust that rotting, dull blade?

Mag: Kusanagi is already d*ad. Everything is all over.

Mag: The scabbard he was looking for is long gone, too.

Mag: You people lost to me, Maganagi.

Gin: Oh, but there's a scabbard right here.

Gin: Can't you see it?

Gin: Can't you see the scabbard that continued to protect her sword even when separated?

Gin: Can't you see this great scabbard thatprotected her husband and daughter to the end?

Gin: No matter how many times his blade crumbles away,

Gin: his soul doesn't have a single scratch on it.

Gin: With a true masterpiece,even if its blade chips away,

Gin: it can be reforged over and over as long as its core doesn't break.

Gin: It can be reborn over and over as long as it's doused in flames.

Gin: The flame hasn't gone out, Kusanagi.

Gin: My flame of life is still burning bright!

Kag: Gin-chan!

Mag: I-Impossible! He stuck the sword into his own butt?

Mag: C-Could that man be...

Gin: I'll let you suck me dry one last time, dumbass.

Gin: Drink as much of my boiling blood as you want!

Mag: No! He's feeding his own blood to Kusanagi?!

Mag: Is he trying to revive the sword?

Mag: Doesn't that man care about his own life?

Oki: He's such a messed-up samurai.

Oki: Forget protecting himself with a sword.

Oki: He himself became a scabbard that protects his sword.

Oki: Interesting.

Oki: Boss really

Oki: is interesting.

Kon: S-Sogo!

Mag: Wh-What are you doing?!

Oki: A duel has to be fair, or it'll be boring.

Oki: You can dig in if you're hungry, too.

Oki: If you can consume me, that is.

Mag: Fine! I'll devour every last bit of you!

All: Gin-san!

Bo: Sogo!

Shin: Gin-san... Okita-san...

Kus: Maganagi, looks like we both found ourselves some fine scabbards.

Mag: No doubt.

Mag: Looks like I was the dull one all along...

Gin: You...

Oki: Boss, let's fight with no distractions next time.

Shin: Gin-san! Kusanagi-san!

Kag: You did it! You really did it!

Shin: You won! Kusanagi-san won!

Kus: Yeah. It's all thanks to ya guys.

Kus: Thank ya so much for makin' mea masterpiece right at the very end.

Shin: K-Kusanagi-san?

Shin: How? Why?

Kus: It's fine. I've been runnin' on fumes for a long time.

Kus: I was always prepared for this.

Kus: Scabberina laid down her life ta protect our daughter.

Kus: If I didn't do the same,how could I face her in heaven?

Shin: Why are you being so negative?

Shin: You finally met your daughter!

Shin: Are you gonna leave her behind without introducing yourself?!

Kus: She grew up inta a fine woman.She really is just like Scabberina.

Kus: I got ta see that beautiful scabbard with my own eyes one more time.

Kus: I'm satisfied with that.

Kus: She shouldn't have ta live with the death of a dad who she'd never seen before.

Kus: She shouldn't need ta bear that cross.

Kus: As long as she lives strong with a smile on her face,

Kus: that's enough for Scabberina and me.

Kus: So please...

Kus: I beg ya...

Kus: Could ya put me ta rest in that lump of ironsand?

Kus: In that excaliburling grave,where I'm sure Scabberina's resting, too.

Kag: Kusanagi...

Kag: Gin-chan.

Gin: Even if you don't exchange any words,

Gin: even when you're far apart,

Gin: there are some things you just can't sever.

Gin: Not by such a dull sword, anyway.

Gin: You guys will always be connected.And we'll always be connected to you.

Kus: Gintoki-han, thank you.

Kus: I'm truly glad I got ta meet scabbards like you in the end.

Smithy,Sign: Smithy

Sac: Gee, So-kun, are you really gonna buy a new sword for me?

Oki: Maybe 'cause I kept wielding strange swords,

Oki: I don't feel like using a normal one anymore.

Oki: You too, right? An ordinary Kikuichimonji can't satisfy you anymore, right?

Oki: You'd prefer one with pearls or one that vibrates, right?

Sac: Eek, So-kun, you perv.

Tet: I'm sorry, but we don't sell such filthy swords.

Oki: That so?

Oki: And here I thought you picked up some pearls.

Oki: Ever since that day, the four of you

Oki: were stuck to the ground there,desperately picking up something.

Tet: It was just gravel.

Tet: But mixed in with that gravel is iron that's far more valuable than pearls.

Tet: I'm going to use it all to forge a sword.

Oki: That sounds like a pain.

Oki: Well, let me know when you're done.

Tet: Are you sure?

Tet: I bet it's going to be the dullest sword in the universe.

Oki: Yeah. It doesn't have to cut anything.

Oki: Because I'm sure the sword and scabbard are never gonna leave each other again.

Sneak_Peek,Sign: Sneak Peek

The_Bloody_Shins,Sign: The Bloody Shinsengumi Records

Oki: Hey, Hijikata.

Oki: Go get me some yakisoba bread.

Mit: So-chan!

Mit: Be polite when speaking to your superiors.

Oki: I'm sorry, Sister.

Oki: Hey, Hijikata.

Oki: Go get me some esteemed yakisoba bread.

Mit: Well done.

Hij: Uh, that wasn't all that different.

The_End,Sign: The End

Preview,Sign: Preview

Shin: Otsu-chan will show up next episode!

Shin: You all remember that I'm the captain of the Terakado Otsu fan club, right?

Shin: Right?

Title: Wash Your Hands Before a Handshake

Shin: Next time: "Wash Your Hands Before a Handshake."

Shin: Wash up well, Takachin!

Preview,Shin: Preview

Preview,Sign: Preview

Sign: Beginning Soon

Sign: The Final Arc

Gin: We've got you covered.

Gin: From walking your dog to keeping Earth safe,

Gin: we Odd Jobs will do anything.

Sign: Silver Soul Arc

Sign: Production is smoothly

Sign: you-know-what.

 TextR: The final arc was in a situation much like

 TextL: a restaurant that doesn't get any orders.

 TextR: But it's not like we forgot about it.

 TextL: There were just some adult issues at play.
{"type": "series", "show": "Gintama", "episode": "09x08 - The Strongest Sword, and the Dullest Sword"}