GREY'S ANATOMY

3x22: The Other Side of This Life (Part 1)

Original Airdate: 5/3/2007

Written by: Shonda Rhimes

Directed by: Michael Grossman

(Seattle Scenes)

MVO: The dream is this: that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals...

(Meredith is sitting on the couch at her house watching TV)

MVO: ...find the guy, finish our internship. That's the dream; then we get there and if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. 

(Izzie enters)

Izzie: It's 3 in the morning, what are you doing up? 

Meredith: What are you doing up? 

Izzie: Can't sleep. 

(Alex enters)

Alex: What are you watching? 

Izzie: Why can't you sleep? 

Alex: No reason. 

MVO: Because if this is the dream then we'd like to wake up... 

(Seattle scenes) 

(Cristina wakes up to hear laughing coming from the living room of her apartment)

MVO: ...now please. 

Burke: Don't worry I'm not. Ok. 

(She looks out and sees her mom and Burke's mom in the kitchen)

Helen: Cristina, stop lurking. Come and say good morning to your guest. 

Cristina: Good morning mother. Good morning Mrs...mama. What...is everyone...everyone doing here so early? 

Jane: Early? Darling, by the look of the calendar we should have been here six months ago. 

Helen: She doesn't understand what goes into planning a wedding. 

Burke: Breathe. Sip then breathe. 

(Derek and Richard are walking through the hall of the hospital)

Richard: The police haven't found anything on our Jane Doe. 

Derek: I believe she calls herself Ava now. 

Richard: Yes, well, she doesn't seem to be getting her memory back. 

Derek: Well, now that the rest of her medical problems are taken care of I'll see what I can do. 

Richard: That'd be great, thanks. 

(Mark walks up)

Mark: Anybody seen Addison? 

Richard: She's gone. 

Mark: Gone? 

Richard: She took a leave of absence. 

Mark: Why? I mean, did she tell you why? 

Derek: What'd you do to her, Mark? 

Richard: She didn't give a reason. 

Mark: Did she tell you where she was going? 

Richard: All she said was she needed some time...to be happy and free if I recall correctly. Excuse me. 

(Addison is in her car driving down the interstate. She is grinding gears as she goes and finally arrives at a building. The sign out front reads Oceanside Wellness Group. She nearly gets run over by bicyclists while attempting to take her jacket off and enter the building. She gets into the elevator and a guy, Pete, gets in after her. She begins laughing.) 

Addison: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's just...um, where I come from...elevators tend to be this kind of aphrodisiac. You know? You look in on them and they just get all horny. Oh no, no. Not that I'm um...talking about you and I. I'm just saying that it's a relief, you know, to be on a not horny elevator. You know? Just get on, ride...without the sex. Right? 

(He gets off the elevator)

Addison: Oh my god. Oh my god, I'm becoming a crazy freak, crazy inappropriately chatting freak. 

Voice: Becoming? Seems like you're already there. 

(Addison continues to look around for where to voice is coming from)

(Cristina is standing outside a curtain at the hospital with her mom and Burke's mom, waiting to talk to Callie)

Callie: Oh, hey. Hi. 

Cristina: Hello. 

Callie: Someone have bones that need resetting? Or...?

(Cristina whispers something)

Callie: Excuse me? 

Cristina: Bridesmaids. My mother and Burke's mother have been talking on the phone and now they are here...with me. 

Helen: To plan the wedding. 

Callie: Oh. 

Jane: Cristina led us to believe that you were friends. 

(Callie laughs and Cristina gives her a dirty look)

Callie: Oh, ok. I guess. 

Jane: Good it's settled. 

(Helen starts measuring Callie)

Callie: Whoa, wait...what are you...are you...are you actually asking me...

Cristina: To be one of my bridesmaids, yeah. 

(They both give each other dirty looks)

(Meredith walks up to Derek who is standing at the nurse's station)

Meredith: You get any sleep? 

Derek: I did, actually, after I evicted a raccoon that chewed his way into the luggage compartment. 

Meredith: Mmm, the trailer. 

Derek: Yes.

Meredith: So, while you were sleeping...when I drowned it was different for you then it was for me. Something happened to me and I really don't know how to explain it without sounding like...I just, I feel different. I wanna be better at everything and I wanna let you in. I swear. 

Derek: Did you practice that? 

Meredith: With hand gestures but I dropped those. Just now is not the time to give up on me, ok? That's what I'm saying. 

Derek: Ok. 

Meredith: Ok? 

Derek: Yep. 

(Hollywood scenes)

Dell: (On the phone) Oceanside Wellness Group. Uh yes, you're confirmed for Tuesday at 4. Oh, no, no ma'am, no I'm not a doctor. I don't know what you should do about the itchiness down there. Ok, yeah, ok, ok, bye. 

Addison: Hi, I am...I think I'm in the right place. I'm looking for...Maya? Is that you? 

Maya: Addison!

Addison: Oh my god. You got so big. What are you like 45 now? 

(A woman, Naomi walks up)

Naomi: Maya, you're gonna be late for school...Addison. 

Addison: Naomi. Surprise! I got lost like 8 times. I smell like someone who's been driving in a car for two days and I think I just had some kind of psychotic break in your elevator but um...surprise! 

Naomi: Maya, go get your backpack. (Maya walks off) So...what do you want Addison? 

Addison: I miss you. 

Naomi: Really? Cause I haven't heard from you in over a year. Unless you count the Christmas card which was nice. 

Addison: I know, I know...I'm sorry about...I'm sorry. 

Naomi: I left you messages on your pager...

Addison: right. 

Naomi: I emailed you. I had some really special conversations with your voicemail. 

Addison: All right, could we just let this go? I've been having some rough times lately. Ok? I got divorced. 

Naomi: So did I. 

Addison: Oh my god. You and Sam?

(Sam and Maya walk up)

Sam: Addison: 

Maya: Bye, daddy. 

Sam: Bye baby. 

Addison: Hey. 

Sam: Hey. 

Addison: Sam, I'd say good to see you but...

Sam: Yeah. 

Addison: Your face is everywhere. Body language...

Sam: Yeah, I had a few thoughts so I wrote them down and...

Addison: And now you're the common man's medical guru. 

(Violet walks up to the desk)

Violet: Hi Dell. Can you push my appointments back an hour? I had to rescue Cooper. 

Sam: This is Addison. Addison, this is our shrink. 

Violet: Violet, hi. Bye. 

Sam: What did Cooper do this time? 

Violet: What does Cooper always do. 

Naomi and Sam: A woman. 

Violet: I can't believe this. I'm his colleague, not his chauffeur. 

(She walks away)

Addison: So, this is co-op medicine. 

Sam: Yeah, doctors working together. It's me, Naomi, we have a pediatrician, a shrink, an alternative medicine practitioner... 

Naomi: Could you excuse us for just a minute? 

Sam: Sure I can. Good morning, Naomi. 

Naomi: Shut up. 

Addison: So, you two still work together. 

Naomi: Hey Pete. 

(Pete walks over to Sam)

Pete: Who is that red head with your ex-wife? She's hot, possibly insane, but hot. 

Sam: Don't even think about it. 

(Addison and Naomi enter an office)

Addison: You work with your ex-husband in a shrine for your ex-husband. 

Naomi: It's actually a good book. And we're friends. We stayed friends even after we got divorced. It's very healthy. We're healthy. 

Addison: What happened between you and Sam? 

Naomi: Addison, you and I were close in med school. It was a long time ago. 

Addison: Oh, Naomi, come on. You can't stay mad at me forever. I know you. 

Naomi: You got fat. 

Addison: I did not. 

Naomi: Your hair looks hideous. 

Addison: It does not. 

Naomi: And you're getting really, really ugly. 

Addison: Aww. I've missed you too. 

Naomi: So...why are you really here? 

Addison: You're a fertility specialist, one of the best. 

Naomi: You wanna have a baby? 

Addison: I wanna have a baby. 

(The clinic at SGH, Bailey finds Susan in the clinic hiccupping.)

Bailey: Susan Grey. You sure you're in the right place? 

Susan: I have reflux...acid reflux. And the...hiccups come and go when it gets really bad. They stopped a few times but lately it's been getting worse. 

Bailey: Have you had chlorpromazine? Here you go. Thank you. 

Susan: Isn't that the crazy person's drug? 

Bailey: It's used as an anti-psychotic but it's also helpful with hiccups. If we don't stop these soon you will be a crazy person. Ok. 

Susan: Hey, how is Meredith doing? I know they have that big intern exam coming up and she's been really busy. I tried to call but...hey, no hiccups. 

Bailey: Chlorpromazine. 

(Addison is at the Oceanside wellness center on an exam table)

Addison: I'm getting any younger, you know, and I always planned to have one. It's just...well, now; clearly a man is not in the cards for me. I mean this is Addison, post McDreamy, post McSteamy and I just have to... 

Naomi: Mc what? 

Addison: Forget it. You know what, lets never Mc anything. A baby, that is my answer. Find a sperm donor, have a baby. My new dream...a baby. 

Naomi: A baby's not really an answer it's more of a crying, puking non-answer.

Addison: Yeah, but you did it. 

Naomi: With a husband. 

Addison: Yeah but you did it. You got married; you had a baby. You're my example. 

Naomi: Ok, we should check your FSH and your estrodial levels and we should probably do an antro-folical count. 

Addison: Holy crap. I'm gonna have a baby. 

(Sam is checking out a patient)

Sam: Treadmill, huh?

Kathy: Yeah

Sam: Ok. What's going on? 

Kathy: I tried to take it up to 10 and do the hilly terrain mode, which you can do but only if you're an Olympian, so I paused and I went flying off... 

Sam: No, I mean, what's going on with you pushing yourself this hard? This is your fourth sports injury in three months. 

Kathy: I am a sexual person. I'm a normal sexual person. I like sex. I need sex. And he won't do it. He 

won't have sex with me. He just... won't.

Sam: I'm hoping you're talking about your husband. Well, I'm not hoping because of the no sex part. 

Kathy: It's been 18 months. 

Sam: Wow. 

Kathy: 18 months! Do you have any idea what that is like? My husband won't do it. So you know what I do? 

Sam: Uh, you run. 

Kathy: I run. I run so I won't sleep with someone else. I run so I have someplace to channel my energies. I run so I won't pick up a tire iron and b*at my husband to death. I need sex! You'd do it with me, right? 

Sam: Hmm? I think you need to spend some time with our therapist. 

(Violet is picking up Cooper)

Cooper: Hey! Hey. Thanks for the ride. Hey, have you been crying?

Violet: Where's your car? 

Cooper: Were you crying?

Violet: Where's your car? 

Cooper: Were you crying?

Violet: You wanna walk? 

Cooper: I met a girl at a bar... on the Internet... and she borrowed my car.

Violet: Cooper, did you file a police report? 

Cooper: She might bring the car back. She was gorgeous and hot and she...

Violet: Okay, Cooper, Cooper, Cooper. All right, so you meet a strange woman on the Internet again. You bring her back to your apartment to have sex with you again, and she steals from you again. What does that suggest to you about you? 

Cooper: That I'm an optimist. That I believe in magic. There there is a soul mate... out there waiting for me. Oh, Violet...Allen's not worth it. You deserve better. 

Violet: I know that. I do. I'm not... I'm not crying about him. I'm not. Don't look at me. Look over there. 

(Seattle scenes)

(Izzie walks up to the nurse's station where Cristina and Meredith are.)

Izzie: I switched my hours at the clinic so I can go to the bridal shop. Yay! 

Cristina: Did she cheer? She just cheered. 

Izzie: Someone's not being very bridey.

Cristina: I am not a bride. I am a surgeon.

Meredith: Don't tease the caged animal. 

Izzie: You're not excited? I'm excited. I love weddings. Weddings are all about hope and the future. 

(Callie walks up)

Callie: Ok, I rescheduled an A.C.L. repair, but I wanna be clear. I will not be wearing pink or baby blue. I do not do flowers in my hair. And I will never be seen with a bow on my ass, ok? 

Cristina: See? She's got the right attitude. Thank you very much. 

Meredith: Hey. 

(Thatcher walks by)

Thatcher: Hey. Hi. I...I'm here with Susan. She's down in the clinic. 

Meredith: The clinic? Is everything ok?

Thatcher: Yeah. 

Izzie: Callie's a bridesmaid? 

Cristina: Yeah. 

Izzie: Yeah, ca...yes, of course. Callie's a bridesmaid. Fun. Yeah.

Callie: Yeah. 

(Alex is walking through the hall with Jane Doe)

Alex: You gotta do it. That kid of yours is gonna need you on your feet.

Jane Doe: She's cute, huh? She's a cute shriveled kid. 

Alex: She's cute. Come on. Let's keep walking. 

Jane Doe: So... where is she? Red...I thought that was on. 

Alex: Walk. 

Jane Doe: Gossip 

Alex: Oh, you called it. She was too serious about the whole thing. 

Jane Doe: And Alex is a rolling stone.

Alex: I was being thoughtful. 

Jane Doe: Yeah, right. And dumping red after one night is sensitive? So did she just take off? What'd you say to her? Did she cry? 

(Addison is in Sam's office. She keeps slapping him on top of his head.)

Sam: Ow. 

Addison: Idiot. You divorced Naomi? 

Sam: Look, just mind your own business, ok...ouch.

Addison: Moron. She is my best friend. 

Sam: Stop hitting me on top of my head. 

Addison: Did you cheat? Did...

Sam: Ok, two things I learned way back in kindergarten...one, keep your hands to yourself, two, he who smelt it dealt it. 

Addison: That makes no sense.

Sam: Yeah. Well...you cheated. You cheated on your husband with his best friend. There. Smelt it, dealt 

it...it works. 

Addison: You're using fart logic. 

Sam: Hey, if you want details, go see Naomi. 

Addison: She won't talk about it. 

Sam: Well, then you get no details.

Addison: I'm on her side. You know that. 

Sam: That's why you get no details. 

Addison: Oh, details!

Sam: Woman, be quiet. 

Addison: I've missed you. 

Sam: Yeah, well, you know, Naomi's known you longer, so she gets custody of you in the divorce. 

Addison: Yeah.

(Addison and Naomi are in her office)

Addison: So, uh, other than project baby, this is strictly a vacation. I am here to read trashy novels and go to the beach. 

Naomi: Ok, nobody over 30 goes to the beach. You should stay here at the practice, hang out. See how we work. It's more fun than a stuffy hospital and we have an empty office. 

Addison: Naomi, are you trying to lure me? 

Naomi: Look, maybe. We do have sunshine and cute boys. 

Addison: Yeah, speaking of which, cute boy behind the desk is tracking you with his eyes. 

Naomi: No, he's not.

Addison: Oh, cute boy wants Naomi.

Naomi: okay, maybe you should shut up... and go get some coffee or something... please. 

(Addison walks off and Naomi walks over to Dell)

Naomi: You have to stop that.

Dell: Stop what? 

Naomi: You cannot watch me like that. It's...not something you can do. I won't allow it. 

Dell: You can't make rules about my eyes. 

(Screaming can be heard from another room) 

Woman: That's enough! 

Man: No! 

Naomi: Did you hear that?

(Naomi and the other doctors exits their offices and head toward the sound of the yelling)

Sam: Did you hear that? 

Pete: What was that?

Violet: Did I just hear?

Man: I'm the father of that child!

Man 2: No, I'm the father! 

Carol: If it's anybody's baby, it's mine!

Cooper: Stop it! Calm down, everybody! Just...hey, hey, hey, hey! A little help here. A little help. 

Violet: Oh, my god, Cooper! Cooper! 

Carol: Oh, Dr. Freedman! Oh, god! Oh, that's great. Really great. 

Pete: You gotta be kidding me. 

(Meredith is in the clinic with Susan and Thatcher)

Meredith: You could've called.

Susan: Oh, it's such a silly problem. Hiccups?

Thatcher: We didn't want to bother you. 

Meredith: Well, it's not silly if you can't sleep. 

Bailey: Chlorpromazine is good, but it doesn't always work long-term. We've had some good result with endoscopic gastroplication. 

Meredith: We put a tube down your throat and sew together the bottom of your esophagus to protect it from the 

acid in your stomach. It would be an outpatient procedure. 

Susan: I'm sold. Ready when you are. 

Thatcher: You're sure that that's not...

Susan: Just think of it like breathing into a very expensive brown paper bag. 

Naomi: Ok, let me see if I can explain this to everyone. So Carol was married to Rick. Carol is now married to Doug. Keith is Lisa's husband. 

Keith: Uh, I'm Rick's husband.

Carol: Life partner. 

Rick: You're just mad I left you for a man.

Jim: I'm Lisa's husband. 

Naomi: And Lisa is the

Carol: Surrogate carrying my child. 

Rick: Our child.

Jim: You are not the father! You don't know that, Rick! I am so sick of you! 

Violet: Hey, hey! Okay, okay. Let's all try to remember that we are in a place of healing. Uh, Lisa...h-how are you feeling? 

Carol: Guilty. Guilty is how she is feeling. 

Violet: Wh-why is that, Lisa? 

Carol: Because the same week that I brought her here to be inseminated, she had sex with him...and him...and him. And we have no idea who the father is. Yeah, she, um, really gets around. 

(Conference room)

Pete: Okay, how does this happen? How do you pick a super freak for a surrogate?

Violet: I-I screened her. There was nothing thereto indicate she was... 

Cooper: Sex crazed? Insatiable?

Violet: Cooper-like?

Naomi: Ooh. Okay. The point is, everybody's flipping out over nothing. Medically, it has to be Rick's baby. We implanted Lisa with a fertilized embryo from Carol's egg and Rick's sperm. 

Cooper: Then Rick implanted some more of his own for good measure. 

Violet: Before he decided he was gay.

Pete: I've treated Doug. I have him on valerian root for anxiety and stress. And I knew he was fooling around, but with his new wife's surrogate? 

Addison: Can I just, uh...I think the more pressing issue, uh, here, is that, uh, Lisa's had no prenatal care. She took off right after her,uh 

Cooper: Sex-a-thon? Hi. We haven't officially met. Cooper. Pediatrics.

Addison: Hi. Uh, yeah, she...left town, and, uh, she and the baby need a complete workup. Um, who's your usual G.Y.N? 

Sam: Uh, she left the practice rather suddenly. 

Pete: I didn't do anything. 

Addison: Well, look, I would be happy to examine her. Trashy novels can wait. 

Cooper: Have you ever thought of... plying your trade in sunnier climes, Addison? 

Violet: "Sunnier climes"? Now we see why he has to type to pick up women.

Cooper: Hey!

Sam: Besides, we have a very strict no consorting rule here now. 

Pete: I didn't do anything. 

(Susan's OR)

George: I can't wait to tell Meredith her step-mom hiccupped through the whole thing. She should be here for this. 

Bailey: Susan asked her to be with her father. She said he's having a lot of anxiety. 

George: And...Meredith is supposed to help with that? 

(Meredith in Thatcher are in the waiting room)

Meredith: You know there's nothing to worry about. 

Thatcher: What I...what I worry about is Molly living in a new city alone with a baby most of the day. That's hard. And Lexie, who's...about to start her residency. She's a really good student, but it's grueling. 

Meredith: I know. 

Thatcher: You know. Right. And...I worry about you, too. How you're getting on, your mom...none of that was...simple. 

Meredith: Susan's really on you to talk to me, huh? 

Thatcher: I got to admit, I'm envious...that she's getting to know you, and I'm not yet. I think she may be faking these hiccups. 

Meredith: To get...us in the same place? 

(Violet's office)

Paul: I guess I'm just not very sexual. 

Kathy: He's having an affair. He's not in love with me anymore. 

Paul: That's not true, honey. I love you. I love you so much. I...I want to do it. I just want to want to do it. 

Violet: Ok, Paul, I'm gonna give you some homework for next session. 

Paul: Homework? 

Violet: Have sex with your wife.

Kathy: Yay!

Paul: Well, but...

Violet: No matter what. Whether you're in the mood or not, have sex. Do it in the bed, do it on the kitchen floor. Do you have a pool? 

Paul: Yes.

Violet: Okay, do it in the pool. Have sex. No pressure, no judgment, no expectations. Have sex. Just...do it. 

(Sam and Pete are outside walking)

Pete: We do need a new G.Y.N.

Sam: Right.

Pete: And Addison seems... 

Sam: Oh. Nun-unh. No. Absolutely not. 

Pete: What?

Sam: Addison is a nice person. She is a decent person. She is a person.

Pete: I'm lookin' for a person.

Sam: Man, you're just looking. 

Pete: At least I'm trying. 

(Woman walks up)

Woman: Dr. Feelgood. Hey. I love you. 

Sam: Hi. Thank you. 

Pete: Okay, Dr. Feelgood, this is what I'm saying. Your career is taking off, girls like that are throwing themselves at you. - You should be celebrating. 

Sam: Celebrating? I just got a divorce. 

Pete: You got a little tiny dog, and you cook it chicken, and you talk to it. That's not normal. 

Sam: Hey, easy. All right? I'm alone because I choose to be. It's...it's a choice. 

Pete: So you're saying that you're not interested in Addison, but I can't have her. 

Sam: See, Addison isn't the type of woman you have. She's a marriage woman. All right? She's gonna want a commitment, and you... 

Pete: Hey, I do not sleep around.

No. You are a serial monogamist, all right? You...you date a girl, you romance a girl, and then when it's time to commit...you cut and you run. 

Pete: I do not. 

Sam: Linda, uh, Karen, uh, Julie. Then there was Tricia, Amy, Carrie, the other Linda...we can't forget... 

Pete: Fine. I won't ask her out. 

Sam: Good boy. That's a good boy. 

(Exam room)

Naomi: And the week before I implanted the embryo, you slept with how many, three? Three men. 

Addison: We're almost done here, Lisa, and then we'll do the amniocentesis.

Lisa: You're on carol's side.

Naomi: I'm carol's doctor. You came to us. You applied to be a surrogate. It was your choice. 

Lisa: I know. I just...I was about to hand my body over to a baby that's not mine for nine months, which is a big responsibility. That...h*t me...the responsibility...and I just... they all wanted me. Me. And f-for once, I just stopped thinking and I just...I did something wild. Dr. Montgomery, is something wrong? 

Addison: I'm gonna run some more tests. 

(Meredith is walking Susan and Thatcher out)

Meredith: You promise me you'll take it easy. 

Susan: I have a stack of DVDs to watch, and I expect your father to feed me by hand. 

Meredith: So just call if you have any questions. 

Thatcher: It was nice t-talking with you. 

Meredith: Bye.

Susan: Bye. 

Thatcher: Bye-bye. 

(George enters the elevator where Izzie is)

Izzie: Any news about Mercy West?

George: Uh, there's a spot. There's a lot of takers, but they said it looks good. 

Izzie: So after the intern exam...

George: I'm not an unfaithful guy. I'm not a cheater. 

Izzie: You think it'll happen again if you stay here... 

George: No. I don't know.

Izzie: With me? George. 

George: I have to go.

(Hallway at Oceanside wellness)

Violet: Sam.

Sam: Yeah.

Violet: So Paul and Kathy, I gave them an assignment. I told 'em to do it. He didn't rise to the occasion. 

Sam: Nothing? No wood.

Violet: Not even a twig. There's gotta be something physical going on, right? Because the only other option...that he just doesn't love her anymore...I mean, that's just... 

Cooper: Not the only option. I mean, did they meet in the drama department in college? 

Sam: Could be a thyroid thing, anemia. Could be a bunch of stuff. 

Cooper: Have you checked for extreme ugliness?

Violet: Okay, not funny. Will you get back to me... 

Sam: Yes, I will. 

Violet: With what you find soon?

Sam: Okay. Yes. 

Violet: And, Cooper, you know what? Ugly people have sex, Cooper.

Cooper: Ew. 

Violet: Ugly people are people, too.

(Addison is in the elevator, talking to herself)

Addison: Okay. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? 

(Mark walks up to Alex at a nurse's station)

Mark: You fill out this E.E.G. request on Ava? 

Alex: Yeah, you asked for it. 

Mark: I asked you to run labs on her every other day. What the hell is this? 

Alex: Shepherd's doing a full neuro workup. Just get the hell of my...

Mark: Go ahead. I would love to have an excuse to lay you out. 

Alex: I didn't do anything. 

Mark: Whatever you didn't do sent Addison running for the hills. 

(Seattle scenes)

(Addison is at Naomi's house)

Addison: Okay, this guy is 6'2",dark hair, green eyes, totally healthy. He plays the violin, and he's a physicist. That is good sperm. Geeky, but, uh, good. 

Naomi: Lisa has extra donors if you want to borrow one. Her tests come in yet? 

Addison: No, tomorrow. I don't want to ring any alarm bells till we're sure. 

Addison: What about this guy? He's a marine biologist. Good hair. 

Naomi: Are you sure you want to do this? Your life is really gonna change. 

Addison: That's why I'm doing this. I want my life to change. I need...my life to change. I mean, look, you have 

Maya. You're family. You did everything the way you were supposed to. You didn't wait. 

Naomi: Maybe I should have. Waited. 

Addison: What do you mean? 

Naomi: Addison, I did everything exactly the way I was supposed to. After college, I never dated anybody but Sam, because he was the one. I never had sex with anybody but Sam because cheating is wrong. I had a baby because...that's what you do when you get married. I never made a single mistake. I did everything right. And then Sam comes home and says he wants a divorce. So all those photos you're...busy admiring, all they are, are 

reminders of all the stuff I didn't do. I'm 38 years old, and I don't know how to have fun. That's not lucky. That's sad. So just... shut up about lucky! 

Addison: Poor...sad...dried up Naomi. 

Naomi: Shut up. 

Addison: Poor little, special talented doctor girl. Let's make a made-for-TV movie...about the poor little, dried 

up special girl who has no fun. 

Naomi: I could put you out. You'd have to sleep in the car. I just...I just wish I'd been a little more like you. Addison: What, an adulterous bitch who forgot to have kids? 

(Violet is at the grocery store)

Allen: Violet?

Violet: Allen. 

Allen: Hey! 

Violet: Great to see you.

Allen: How you doing?

Violet: I'm great. Really. I'm really wonderful.

Allen: Well, I saw you and I...I didn't want to be rude. So I hope it's okay. 

Violet: You know, it's just... it's really wonderful to see you. You look, uh... you look really wonderful. 

(Woman walks up)

Cami: They didn't have the gouda you like, but they had a camembert...hi.

Violet: Hi. 

Allen: This is Violet. 

Cami: Violet...oh, Violet. Hi. Nice to meet you. I...I'm Cami. 

Violet: Okay.

Cami: Allen's wife. God, I still can't get used to that word...wife.

Allen: Yeah.

Violet: Wife? How long have you been married?

Cami: Newlyweds...eight weeks.

Violet: Oh, congratulations. Congratulations. 

Cami: Nice to meet you. 

(LA scenes)

(Oceanside's kitchen)

Cooper: Hey, Addison, uh, latte? Or...more of a cappuccino.

Addison: Lisa's baby has something called placenta accreta.

Violet: Is that bad? 

Addison: The placenta abnormally attaches to the uterine wall. It makes delivering dangerous for both mom and baby. But there was something else. 

Cooper: That's not enough? 

Addison: The baby has some genetic markers that don't match Carol, just Lisa.

Naomi: What? The embryo...

Addison: Did not implant. 

Naomi: This is Lisa's baby? 

Addison: Which also means that the paternity is once again up for grabs. Good luck. I'm off to the beach. 

Cooper: Uh, you can't leave. Someone has to tell the patient. Honestly, I have...I have...low people skills with anybody over 12. 

Violet: It...it's true. An internet hooker just stole his car...

Cooper: Violet! Privacy. She was not...she just...she borrowed my car. She...she

borrowed it. Borrowed. 

(Cooper, Pete and Sam are at the impound lot)

Cooper: 911 turbo, hand-sewn leather seats. 911 turbo with hand-sewn leather seats. Who does that to a 911? 

Pete: A chick. A crazy chick. 

Cooper: But she was so hot.

Pete: A crazy hot chick.

Sam: I loved that car. That was a single man's car. 

Cooper: That's the point. I mean, I...I thought maybe I was done being single. I thought she was gonna be 

the mother of my children. 

Sam: What was her name again? 

Cooper: Sexyboobs316. 

Pete: Are you...dude, are you crying? 

Cooper: No. 

Sam: You better be crying about that car and not over sexyboobs315.

Cooper: 316. 316. 

Pete: I can't. I...I can't. I'm gonna hurt him. 

Sam: Let's just say he's crying over the car and the woman. All right? There we go. Let it out. Let it out. 

(Seattle scenes)

(Burke enters a bridal shop where Cristina is wearing a wedding dress and Meredith, Callie and Izzie are wearing bridesmaids gowns) 

Burke: Uh, Cristina? 

Helen: That's a pretty one. 

Jane: Moves very well in it. Looks quite natural. 

Burke: You paged?

Cristina: I need you over here. 

Burke: Should I be seeing you in the dress before the wedding? 

Cristina: You think I'm wearing this? 

Burke: Well, it is very feminine.

Cristina: Exactly. Do you know your mother booked a chapel that sits 200 people? Okay, how did I get bridesmaids, huh? Freakin' stupid cotton-candy colored bridesmaids? No offense. What happened to our small ceremony? What happened to you and me at city hall? 

Burke: I didn't...I didn't think you were serious. 

Callie: I am not wearing this. 

Meredith: Oh, I gotta get to the hospital. 

Callie: You know, we should, uh, give 'em some privacy. 

Izzie: What? Oh! Oh, you want me to go over there with you... by myself.

Callie: Yeah. 

Izzie: Ok. 

Callie: Ok. 

Cristina: You want a big wedding? You want the chapel, you want the guests and me in a white dress? 

Burke: Well... yes. I'm a traditional man, Cristina. 

Cristina: Are you kidding me? 

Burke: No.

Jane: The saleslady has another batch of dresses for you to see, Cristina. 

Cristina: Oh, thank you... mama. 

(Cristina walks away)

Jane: Cristina has certainly made quite an effort. Tried on, I would say, over a hundred dresses, and that certainly could not have been easy for her. 

Burke: Yeah, mama, I know she seems disinterested in wedding planning. But Cristina...she's not cold. I know she seems cold 

Jane: Preston... if you think Cristina is right for you, I trust you. I trust your instincts. 

(Conference room at Oceanside)

Carol: And the baby...the, um, the baby isn't even mine? 

Doug: Honey, calm down.

Carol: Calm down? 

Lisa: You mean I can keep this baby if I want to? 

Violet: Uh, legally, yes. 

Rick: So who's the father? 

Cooper: We won't know the paternity of the baby till after Lisa delivers. 

Addison: More urgent at the moment is the placenta accreta. The fact is, Lisa is at risk of having a life-thr*at hemorrhage and the baby could deliver pre-term. 

Jim: So you're saying they could die? 

Addison: There is a risk of death, yes. Lisa, I know you're scared. If you do go into pre-term labor, you'll have a c-section. And they'll monitor it and control it so that they have a better chance of saving your uterus and your life. 

Lisa: And you'll save us, me and the baby? 

Addison: Well, I have... I have to get back to Seattle. I have a practice. But I can refer you to someone local who... 

Lisa: No, I want you. You be there.

(Sam's office)

Sam: I thought Kathy was coming to the appointment today. 

Paul: Just...Kathy didn't come home last night. And, you know, I don't blame her, but it's just...what...what if she's with some guy right now? Some guy...some...some guy who can...who can bring it? 

Sam: Okay. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's okay. All right? There are plenty of medical reasons

for low sex drive. All right? 

Paul: Sorry. Sorry. 

(Kathy enters)

Paul: Honey...where were you? 

Kathy: I was out. All night? And I had a chance to cheat, believe me. But I passed. Okay? I passed up being with someone who actually wants to be with me because I am stuck with you. You're crying? 

Sam: Okay, let's...let's all just calm down here. 

Kathy: All right...I'll be in the waiting room. 

Paul: Oh! She's starting to hate me. What am I gonna do if little Paul can't perform? 

Sam: Okay. Don't talk about your penis while you hug another man. 

Paul: I'm sorry, man. 

Sam: It's okay.

Paul: I'm sorry.

Sam: Let's draw some blood.

Paul: Okay, let's draw some blood. 

(Mark walks up to the desk where Derek is)

Mark: What's in L.A.? 

Derek: What? 

Mark: For Addison. Any idea...what she might be doing there? 

Derek: Naomi and Sam are down there, I guess. I don't know. You all right? 

Mark: We were gonna try. We were gonna make a go of it... as a couple. She bet me I couldn't go 60 days without having sex. 

Derek: Oh. Let me guess. You couldn't do it. 

Mark: No, she couldn't. She didn't want to be with me. I thought she did. I thought she might. But she didn't. And I caught her. You know... 

Derek: Sleeping with somebody else? Oh, that must have been so hard for you. Not that I can't relate. 

Mark: So I told her I did it. 

Derek: You told her you did it? 

Mark: I told her I lost the bet. I told her I slept with someone. I figured if she didn't want to be with 

me, she shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. 

Derek: Selfless. That's...out of character.

Mark: Yeah. Anyway, uh... I was just wondering if you knew what was in L.A. 

Derek: No. 

(Addison is in Naomi's office)

Addison: Okay, now I am going to the beach. 

Naomi: Wait, Addie. Your test results came back in. 

Addison: I think I'm gonna go with physicist guy. 

Naomi: Your F.S.H. Level is high. Well, they're high this month. We can do, uh, ovarian stimulation. 

Naomi: And your antral follicle count is only two. 

Addison: That could be due to stress.

Naomi: Addison, I'm sorry. I did all the tests. There's no fertility potential here. 

Addison: Okay. Uh... this is good. This is, um... oh, this is just... perfect. 

Naomi: Addison...

Addison: I have the great guy. I don't have a baby because I'm focusing on my career. And then I have the other guy. I don't have his baby because he's not the great guy. And now I don't have the great guy or the other guy, and I'm finally ready to have a baby, and I can't. That is so... exactly what my life is. Exactly what my life is. 

Naomi: I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted this. 

Addison: It's okay. I just, um... I just didn't realize I was out of time, that's all. 

Naomi: Addie, please stay so we can...

Addison: No, it's okay. I'm fine. Thank you... for telling me. Thank you. I will see you at home. 

(Addison enters the elevator)

Voice: Looks like you had a bad day. 

Addison: Okay... enough. Okay? Not today. This is not a good day. All right? So why don't you just... shut up? Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! All right, then.
{"type": "series", "show": "Grey's Anatomy", "episode": "03x22 - The Other Side of this Life Pt.1"}