THE MIND ROBBER

By Peter Ling

Episode 2

Original Air Date: 21 September 1968
5:20pm - 5:40pm

OUTSIDE THE TARDIS

(The TARDIS is gently turning in starless space. Suddenly, an expl*si*n and it flies apart. The console slowly spins in space with Jamie holding on desperately and Zoe draped across it, clinging just as desperately.)

ZOE: (Pointing.) Jamie! The Doctor! (She starts screaming.)

(The Doctor, eyes closed, is spinning gently in the black nothingness.)

(The console with Jamie and Zoe holding on is slowly obscured, but spinning faster and faster. Eventually it disappears, swallowed by the mist.)

Episode 2

UNKNOWN PLACE

(A place with a flat surface and thick irregular things that protrude from the ground and have a bark-like surface, like a tree but flat-topped. Jamie is wandering warily around. He peers around one tree, then another. He is in a strange forest.)

JAMIE: (OOV.) Doctor?! (Emerging from between trees.) Zoe?! Where are you?! What's happened?!

ZOE: (OOV.) Jamie! Jamie, over here!

JAMIE: Zoe?! Is that you?!

(He looks around, trying to figure out which way her voice is coming from. He sees a soldier with white pants, a tall black hat and a bayoneted g*n. It is a Redcoat.)

JAMIE: ...Redcoats...

(He ducks behind a tree-like growth and draws his Kn*fe.)

JAMIE: ...Am I back in my own time?... Now they'll sh**t me down...

(He steps boldly, resolutely forward, bursting into the open.)

JAMIE: sh**t me down like a dog, would you?! Well, a McCrimmon's never died without a fight yet!

(He races forward to att*ck, yelling his battle cry.)

JAMIE: Creag an tuire!

(The Redcoat turns to him and a sh*t rings out. There is a puff of smoke and Jamie freezes in mid att*ck. There is no blood. Jamie is as still as the two-dimensional cardboard-like cutout he has now become.)

ZOE: Jamie! Jamie!

UNKNOWN PLACE/FOREST

(Zoe appears to be in the same kind of place as Jamie - the strange forest.)

ZOE: (OOV.) Jamie! Jamie!

(She looks scared, frantically looking around.)

ZOE: Jamie, I'm here! Where are you?! Jamie, can you hear me?! Jam---!

(Turning, she sees a stone block wall with small, scraggly, leafless trees up against it where just a moment before had been the forest. She stares at the wall, slowly backing away. She turns in another direction and... is confronted by another stone block wall that hadn't been there before. She looks around and realizes that she is now surrounded by walls on all four sides. She rushes to a wall in a panic.)

ZOE: Jamie! Doctor! Help! Somebody help me! I'm trapped!

(Suddenly there are two large, white, sturdy and old-fashioned-looking doors with iron door knockers set in one of the walls. One of the doors slowly opens inward as if in invitation, creaking loudly as it does. Tentatively she approaches the doors after having looked them over first. She hesitates in the doorway, looking into the gloom, trying to see what's inside. She takes a step and... falls, screaming. Creaking loudly, the door slowly closes.)

UNKNOWN PLACE TWO

(A television-like device, a viewscreen shows the closed large wooden doors that Zoe has just stepped through. A second one shows Jamie as the two-dimensional cardboard-cut-out-like figure.)

UNKNOWN MAN: Good. Good. Excellent. And now the good Doctor. Where is he?

(A third viewscreen shows the forest - the one Jamie and Zoe have been in. But no sign of the Doctor.)

UNKNOWN MAN: (The voice changes.) Look-Around. He-Must-Be-Here-Somewhere. Find-Him. Search.

(The voice sounds stilted and almost mechanical. Both voices appear to be coming from a man sitting at a desk-like console with the viewers ahead and above him. Only the back of him can be seen. He is dressed in dark colors with a dark jacket and a dark glittering yarmulke - a skull cap worn by Orthodox and Conservative Jews.)

UNKNOWN MAN: I see he has eluded us for the moment. So he is not yet completely under my control. Perhaps it is better this way. Yes, he'll soon find out.

(He chuckles, his hand resting on the console in front of him. He has dark fingerless gloves on.)

UNKNOWN MAN: Find-Him. Search-All-Areas.

FOREST

(The Doctor's eyes are closed. He is unconscious. Asleep.)

DOCTOR: ...Jamie... Zoe... oh... fight... must fight... oh... Uh!... Fight! Fight!

(His eyes snap open as he awakens from his dream. He glances around briefly. He is sitting on the ground with his back up against one of the trees. He gets up, looking around.)

DOCTOR: Where in time and space am I?

(He peers around, realizing something with growing alarm.)

DOCTOR: Where are the others? Jamie? Zoe?!

JAMIE: (OOV, voice of Hamish Wilson.) Doctor! Hellooo!

(He runs in the direction of Jamie's voice.)

DOCTOR: Jamie, is that you?

(He stops and listens for the reply so that he can track Jamie by the sound of his voice.)

ZOE: (OOV.) Jamie! Doctor!

DOCTOR: Zoe!

(He hurries a little way, listening for her voice.)

DOCTOR: Zoe?

ZOE: (OOV.) Doctor I'm trapped!

(The Doctor turns a corner and runs down a straightaway. The place is just as much a maze as it is a forest.)

ZOE: Help me please!

(He comes to a halt.)

DOCTOR: Alright Zoe just... just stay where you are... I'll... I'll... I'll see if I can... I... I can find you. Uh. Hellooo!

(He moves about the maze-forest with nervous energy, peering in one direction, then in another, looking for Jamie and Zoe but going in circles.)

DOCTOR: Call out to me!

JAMIE: (OOV.) Here! Over Here!

DOCTOR: Yes. Alright... Jamie.

ZOE: (OOV.) Hello Doctor! I'm over here!

(Her voice seems to be coming from the opposite direction to Jamie's.)

DOCTOR: Yeh... alright Zoe.

(He holds up one finger as if to say "wait a minute", looking in the direction of her voice. Jamie yells out and he turns in his direction.)

DOCTOR: Alright Jamie.

(But Zoe calls out again and he is obviously getting frustrated. In a moment both Jamie and Zoe are calling out to the Doctor at the same time and the Doctor can't tell where either of them are.)

DOCTOR: ...No... No... No... No... (His frustration boils over.) No! No! No! No! No! Not both together! One at a time! (Quieter.) Now then Jamie... you seem to be the nearer. You first. Count up to ten.

(He is poised ready to listen to the sound of Jamie's voice.)

JAMIE: (OOV.) ...1...2...3...

(The Doctor starts to follow Jamie's voice, listening very carefully.)

UNKNOWN PLACE TWO

(The unknown man is in his chair watching the Doctor's progress on the screen, while Jamie continues to count.)

JAMIE: (OOV.) ...4...5...

UNKNOWN MAN: Find-Him-Search-Search! (The voice changes.) ...perhaps some light will help...

FOREST

(The Doctor peers about in the dimness of the forest.)

DOCTOR: This is like exploring a maze in the dark.

(He slowly backs up and bumps into a tree.)

DOCTOR: Oh!

(He turns around and looks at it. He continues to look around tentatively. Suddenly it is brighter, as if someone has turned on a light switch. Searching for the source of the light - or the one who turned on the light - he comments:)

DOCTOR: Well thank you, whoever you are.

(A sound alerts the Doctor. It is a rhythmic sound that after a few seconds sounds like footsteps, though distorted, amplified. They are being made by black legs and undetailed feet like that of a toy. The Doctor nervously takes a step back, and then another, and retreats into one of the hollow trees, peering around the edge. Walking stiffly in unison like soldiers, they are tall with tall dark hats or helmets, long g*n in their hands and epaulets on their shoulders like generals. There is a round light on the front of each soldier's helmet. The soldiers move their upper body from side to side. They are searching for the Doctor.)

UNKNOWN PLACE TWO

(The man is watching all three screens. They are all showing different areas of the forest, but still no sign of the Doctor.)

UNKNOWN MAN: Spread-Out. Cover-The-Whole-Area. Slowly. Keep-Moving. Look-Left-To-Right. Search-Every-Inch-Of-The-Forest. (The man's voice changes.)
I know the Doctor is here somewhere. Mm. No sign of him. Well he can't be far away. You... continue on this course. (The voice changes again.)
Track-Him-Down. Those-Are-Your-Orders. He-Must-Be-Found.

FOREST

(The soldiers are continuing their search and walk past the Doctor's hiding place. Carefully he emerges, making sure they are gone. He then starts urgently looking around for Jamie and Zoe. He whispers loudly, cupping his hands around his mouth:)

DOCTOR: Jamie! Zoe!

(A man's voice rings out suddenly, deep and full of authority:)

STRANGER: (OOV.) Heckinah degul!

(The unexpected sound of the voice startles the Doctor and he immediately turns to see who has spoken. A tall, thin man is holding an early-model p*stol, pointing it at him. The Doctor's hands fly into the air in the sign of surrender. The man is wearing a dark tri-cornered hat, a white blouse-like shirt and a dark vest. His hair is long and brown, tied back into an unkempt loose pony tail. His face is fierce and unfriendly.)

STRANGER: Tolgo phonac!

(The Doctor continues to stare wide-eyed at the man, uncomprehendingly. The man gestures with the g*n for the Doctor to come closer. The Doctor nervously approaches as the man speaks again:)

STRANGER: Langro dehul san! Grildig!

(The Doctor comes to halt in front of the man.)

STRANGER: Splacknuck!

(The Doctor is flustered. He obviously doesn't have a clue as to what the man is saying.)

DOCTOR: Yeh... uh...

(He stutters nervously, then manages to get words out:)

DOCTOR: ...Parlez-vous Francais?

STRANGER: Recal si tratan de que tutis! Glandack daytan!

DOCTOR: Do you speak English by any chance?

STRANGER: Sir...

(He says the word so warmly that the Doctor lets out a little "Oh" of surprise and relief. The Doctor smiles.)

STRANGER: ...my birth was of honest parents in an island called England.

DOCTOR: Oh... Oh, well... gracious me. Why didn't you say so at once? (His voice is equally as warm.)

STRANGER: I spoke in as many languages as I have the least smattering of, high and low Dutch, Latin...

DOCTOR: Well... uh... lets start at... the... uh beginning, shall we... uh? What did you say to me?

(The man suddenly, menacingly takes steps towards the Doctor as he speaks, his g*n still pointed in the Doctor's general direction.)

STRANGER: I said "Beware false traitor, highwayman, robber, pickpocket, m*rder."

DOCTOR: I think you must be making some mistake. Highwayman indeed. Can you tell me when you were last in England?

STRANGER: We set sail from Bristol on May the 4th, 1699.

DOCTOR: (OOV.) We?

STRANGER: What became of my companions, I cannot tell. They were all lost.

DOCTOR: (With sympathy in his voice and on his face.) Oh my dear sir, you and I are in the same boat.

STRANGER: (He speaks vehemently and leans closely toward the Doctor.) You have a stout ship?!

DOCTOR: (Leaning back away from the man a little, alarmed.) No. No. No. No. Unfortunately no. Look... uh...

(He Pushes the g*n away with one finger, slowly.)

DOCTOR: ...would you mind taking that pop g*n away? It does unsettle me so.

STRANGER: Well sir, if you assure me...

(He moves the g*n to point back at the Doctor.)

STRANGER: ...you are no traitor.

DOCTOR: Now how can I be a traitor when I don't even know where I am?! Where am I?

STRANGER: I cannot tell.

DOCTOR: That makes two of us, doesn't it?

(The man slowly puts his g*n in his waistband but doesn't take his hand off of it.)

DOCTOR: Oh! Thank you. Oh! Thank you.

(The Doctor sits down on a stump.)

DOCTOR: Listen, I've... I've lost my companions too... uh... two of them, a boy and a girl, Jamie and Zoe. You haven't seen them by any chance?

STRANGER: (OOV.) Alas, no.

DOCTOR: No... No. Well, I've got to find them. Perhaps you could help me uh... if you know your way around.

STRANGER: (Somewhat indignant.) It is not permitted.

DOCTOR: Who says so?

STRANGER: The Master!

DOCTOR: The Master?

STRANGER: He has articles of impeachment against you for treason and other capital crimes.

DOCTOR: (Thoughtfully.) Treason again. Really.

STRANGER: I leave you to your prudence what measures you will take. And now sir, to avoid suspicion... (He looks up and has a dazed, faraway look in his eyes.) ...I must retire in as private a manner I came.

(He bows to the Doctor and walks away. Seeing the man walking away so abruptly startles the Doctor.)

DOCTOR: Oh but sir...

(The Doctor gets up and follows slightly behind him.)

DOCTOR: Oh, n-n-no, don't go. I wanted to ask you...

(The man has disappeared around a corner. The Doctor, astonished, twirls in a circle looking for him.)

DOCTOR: A hallucination?

(He shrugs his shoulders and throws up his hands. He scratches his head with one hand and puts the other on his hip.)

DOCTOR: Ah well.

(He starts walking, continuing the search that was interrupted by the man.)

DOCTOR: Jamie! Zoe!

VOICE: (OOV.) Cooeee!

(The Doctor stops walking and whirls to look around him, looking for the source of the voice.)

DOCTOR: Is that you Zoe?

(A young girl with long dark brown hair in a bow, dressed in old fashioned clothes, emerges from behind a tree to the left of the Doctor and a little behind him.)

VOICE: (OOV.) Cooeee!

DOCTOR: Who's that?!

(A boy, also wearing old fashioned clothes, abruptly appears near the Doctor.)

DOCTOR: Who are you?

(He steps toward the Doctor and the Doctor retreats. Suddenly children emerge from all directions.)

DOCTOR: Oh.

(The children surround the Doctor. There are six of them in all, four boys and two girls of varying ages and sizes, and all wearing out-dated clothing. The Doctor claps his hands together in delight.)

DOCTOR: Well. Well, well, well, well, well.

(He chuckles and bows slightly to them.)

DOCTOR: How do you do?

(They are quiet and unsmiling. They do not respond.)

FIRST BOY: (He is the first boy the Doctor saw, possibly the eldest of the boys.) Why did the chicken cross the road?

DOCTOR: Well, really, I... I don't think this is the time for riddles.

TALLEST GIRL: (She is only inches shorter than the Doctor, and the eldest of all in the group. She has long blonde hair and is wearing a straw hat.)
You must answer. Why did the chicken cross the road?

DOCTOR: Oh very well. To get to the other side... or so I've always been led to believe. Now would you mind telling me--

FIRST BOY: (Standing right next to the Doctor, to his left.) Which is correct: The yolk of an egg is white or the yolk of an egg are white?

DOCTOR: (Having listened very carefully.) Neither. It's yellow

SMALLEST GIRL: (She is the smallest of the them all.) How many beans make five?

DOCTOR: I--

HATLESS TWIN BOY: Where was Moses when the lights went out?

DOCTOR: Well, I--

TWIN BOY WITH HAT: Adam and Even and Pinch-Me went down to the river to bathe...

ALL THE CHILDREN: ...Adam and Eve got drowned, who do you think was saved?!

DOCTOR: (Considering, staring up into the air.) Well, Pinch-Me obviously.

(Laughing, the children start pinching him.)

DOCTOR: Ah! (He recoils from them.) No! Stop it! Don't do that!

(He wipes one arm, then the other, trying to wipe off the smarting of their pinching spree.)

DOCTOR: Oh! Now it's my turn to ask you questions. (Looking directly at the oldest girl.)

(Suddenly the first boy has a sword and holds it to the Doctor's throat. The Doctor freezes and his eyes look to the boy holding it.)

FIRST BOY: What can you make of a sword?

DOCTOR: Hunh?

SMALLEST BOY: What can you make of a sword?

HATLESS TWIN BOY: (OOV.) Rearrange it.

TWIN BOY WITH HAT: (OOV.) Think.

TALLEST GIRL: This is your last chance.

SMALLEST GIRL: S-W-O-R-D. Rearrange.

DOCTOR: (Thinking.) S-W-O-R-D, rearrange. Well, rearranged it makes uh... W-O-R-D-S. Words.

(The children cheer in unison and the First Boy throws the sword into the air as if it were confetti. The Doctor makes a hasty, alarmed grab for the sword...)

DOCTOR: Unh!

(...but ends up with a large, darkly bound book instead. Puzzled, the Doctor opens the book, then looks around to the children for answers.)

DOCTOR: Well... i-it's a dictionary. Words.

FIRST BOY: You have answered correctly.

TALLEST GIRL: You may be suitable.

DOCTOR: (Sharply.) Suitable?

SMALLEST GIRL: I do hope so.

(The Doctor smiles at her, charmed in spite of himself.)

SMALLEST BOY: (Excitedly to the other children.) Come on! It's teatime!

HATLESS TWIN BOY: (OOV.) I'm hungry!

TWIN BOY WITH HAT: Race you home!

(The children agree in a chaos of excited voices and race off leaving the Doctor alone holding the dictionary, bewildered. All is shockingly silent. He turns to the dictionary, opens it, and briefly looks at a page.)

DOCTOR: (Thoughtfully.) Words.

JAMIE: (OOV, faintly.) Doctor!

(The Doctor is instantly alert, poised, turning his head to get a better idea of where the voice is coming from.)

JAMIE: Over here!

(The Doctor's face brightens as he recognizes the voice.)

DOCTOR: Jamie?

(He slowly turns.)

DOCTOR: Jamie!

(He takes several steps towards Jamie's voice.)

DOCTOR: Is that you?

(He sees Jamie and stops, then throws up his hands thrilled.)

DOCTOR: Oh! Jamie!

(He runs to where Jamie is and realizes, after getting there and looking him over, that it isn't Jamie after all. It is a cardboard cut-out. He is disgusted and bitterly disappointed.)

DOCTOR: Aww! It's just another trick!

(Something catches his attention.)

DOCTOR: Hello.

(He starts walking over to whatever it is.)

DOCTOR: What's this?

(He stops.)

DOCTOR: A safe.

(He bends down to get a better look at it and to check the handle.)

DOCTOR: Locked of course.

(He turns his attention to another object.)

DOCTOR: And a wishing well. Mmm.

(He peers into the wishing well with his hands on the edge of the well. He looks up and closes his eyes.)

DOCTOR: I wish...

(His eyes open and he chuckles and wistfully says:)

DOCTOR: I wish I believed in wishing wells.

(He straightens up, starts to turn away and as an afterthought turns back and throws the dictionary into the well. Ha, ha, ha laughs a voice from the wishing well. The Doctor rushes back to the well, peering into its depths. The Doctor suddenly looks up, looking as if he has just had a revelation. He looks around.
Suddenly there is mist and the letters M and T appear next to each other over the mist. They are crossed off.)

DOCTOR: ...hello... this is a... a puzzle... that's what it is.

(His attention is captured by another phenomenon. Mist again. A drawing of a long, pointy-fingered hand with an H on the palm, but it is also crossed off.)

DOCTOR: Oh yes...Yes! I'm beginning to recognize this, a sort of... picture writing. Let me see now...

(He glances back at the cardboard Jamie.)

DOCTOR: "Jamie mist"... without the M or the T... i-s... "is". Hand without the H... "and". So we have: Jamie is... (He points to the safe.) safe and (Gesturing to the wishing well in glee, having solved the riddle.) well!

(There is a popping sound. He looks around expecting something, and suddenly the cardboard Jamie is next to him, but...)

DOCTOR: (Appalled and almost speechless.) ...oh... Oh! I've lost his face!! Unh!

(The space where Jamie's facial features had been is now a blank. Distressed, the Doctor notices another surprise - it is a flat, dark board with human noses, sets of eyes and mouths.)

DOCTOR: ...hello... Oh, I see. I'm supposed to provide the face, am I? Mmm hm.

(He leans toward the choices, rubbing his hands together.)

DOCTOR: Very well. Now then...

(He considers the choices for a moment.)

DOCTOR: Yes.

(He plucks his choice from the board, holding it at arms length to make sure...)

DOCTOR: There we are.

(...and places a set of eyes on Jamie.)

DOCTOR: There you are.

(He turns back to the board immediately.)

DOCTOR: Oh yes, that's his nose alright.

(He makes his next selection, considering it at arms length again and places it on Jamie. He turns back to make his final decision.)

DOCTOR: And...

(Taking longer, not as sure of himself, he plucks a mouth from the board and looks at it consideringly.)

DOCTOR: Yeh... (More confidently.) Yes. Yes.

(He places the mouth he has chosen in place. He lowers his hands and instantly realizes:)

DOCTOR: Oh no, I've done it wrong!! Oh!

(Jamie is suddenly standing in place of the cut-out of himself, flesh and blood again. Everything about Jamie is the same as it was before except his face.
It's not Jamie's face anymore.)

JAMIE: Doctor. Oh... (He chuckles.) Oh I'm glad to see you again.

(Relieved to see the Doctor, and no longer needing the Kn*fe he'd intended to use on the Redcoat, he puts it away.)

DOCTOR: (Staring, mouth gaping in astonishment and disbelief.) But... but-but-but you're not... Jamie.

(A disembodied male voice chuckles in apparent amusement and the Doctor briefly looks for the source and then looks back to Jamie.)

JAMIE: (Confused.) Hey? What are you on about?

DOCTOR: Bu- Well your... your face it's-it's-it's-it's different!

JAMIE: What do you mean, different?

DOCTOR: (Fishing a mirror from his pocket.) Well... well l-look, look in the mirror.

(The Doctor sticks the mirror out to Jamie so he can look for himself. He looks and touches his face with his hands in shock. He looks at the Doctor.)

JAMIE: That's not my face!

DOCTOR: Well it's the one you're stuck with for the moment.

JAMIE: Well, why should I suddenly be different?

DOCTOR: I don't know.

(He glances around with a look of angry accusation on his face.)

DOCTOR: It's a particularly nasty trick on the part of the person who brought us here.

JAMIE: Brought us here? (Looking around.) What's happening?

DOCTOR: Uh. I don't know. (More sharply, pointing at Jamie.) Just a minute. If you really are Jamie, you should know what's happened. How did you get here?!

JAMIE: Well, you know I was telling you about my dream...

(The Doctor makes a noncommittal noise.)

JAMIE: ...you know, about the unicorn...

DOCTOR: Yes?

JAMIE: Well he was charging straight for me, head down, ready for the k*ll, when suddenly... everything went crazy, and... (He shrugs.) ...I was off.

DOCTOR: Off? Where to? (With increasing agitation.) W-w-w-where-where have you been?!

JAMIE: In a fog. I mean really. Ever since the TARDIS broke up.

DOCTOR: (Aghast, he grabs at Jamie in agitation.) It did what?!

JAMIE: It broke up, it fell to bits. The next thing I knew I was wandering about here. I heard your calling but... I couldn't find you.

ZOE: (OOV, her voice sounds muffled.) Jamie! Hellllp!

DOCTOR: Zoe? Where are you?!

ZOE: (OOV.) I'm trapped, you must help me!

(Jamie grabs the Doctor to quickly get his attention and points:)

JAMIE: Sounds as if she's over there.

DOCTOR: What?

(He looks in the direction Jamie is pointing.)

DOCTOR: Come on then!

(Jamie and the Doctor take off, running, weaving around trees, searching for Zoe.)

DOCTOR: Zoe!

(He and Jamie run up to a wood and iron door set in a brick wall and framed by shrubs and scrubby, leafless trees. The Doctor stops in front of the door to look it over.)

ZOE: (OOV.) I can't get out! Help me please!

(Jamie pushes past the Doctor to open the door, but can't.)

JAMIE: There's no handle. There's no sign of a lock either.

DOCTOR: Yeah. Don't you see? It's... it's not even a door at all, just a... a brick wall with a door painted on it.

JAMIE: But that's crazy! How do you open a door that isn't a door?!

DOCTOR: Now let me think... uh...

(He turns away from the door, thinking.)

JAMIE: What's the good of thinking? What we want's a battering ram...

DOCTOR: When...

JAMIE: ...one of these trees.

DOCTOR: ...is a door... not a door?

JAMIE: Och, this is no time for riddles. (Shaking his head in disbelief.)

DOCTOR: N-No. (Excitedly.) When is a door not a door?!

JAMIE: Hey?

DOCTOR: Mm. When it's ajar!

(He looks to the fake door expectantly.)

JAMIE: Hey?

ZOE: (OOV.) Get me out! Get me out!

(Zoe becomes visible as the door and wall start to fade away. She is in a large glass jar and is pounding ineffectually on the glass from inside, desperate to get out.)

ZOE: (OOV.) Oh get me out! Get me out!

JAMIE: (OOV, chuckling.) Oh Zoe. (He starts to laugh.)

ZOE: (OOV.) Get me out!

DOCTOR: (OOV.) Yes, of course.

(Laughing, the Doctor and Jamie approach the jar with Zoe inside.)

JAMIE: (Shaking his finger at her and laughing.) Not unless you promise to be a good girl.

(The Doctor can't entirely stifle his chuckle of amusement at Jamie's comment.)

ZOE: (OOV.) Oh...you!

(He puts his hand on Jamie's shoulder and points to Zoe, putting an end to the teasing.)

DOCTOR: Go and get her out.

JAMIE: Alright.

(Jamie walks over to the jar and chops through the paper seal. The Doctor peers eagerly down into the jar at Zoe while clutching the rim of the jar, delighted to see her again. Suddenly the look on his face changes and he looks very serious. He has realized that Zoe has not yet noticed the change in Jamie, and when she does, she may find out it was his fault.)

JAMIE: C'mon then.

(He reaches into the jar for Zoe.)

JAMIE: Up you come.

(He puts his hands around her waist and she braces her hands on his upper arms.)

JAMIE: 1...2...3...

(He lifts her out and puts her down, with the Doctor following right behind Jamie, peering from around Jamie at Zoe.)

ZOE: (Brushing her glittering cat suit off vigorously.) I thought I was never going to get out of... (She stares at Jamie's face.) Well, who are you?

(The Doctor's hand goes to his mouth in a nervous gesture as he observes her reaction.)

JAMIE: Hey? Don't you start Zoe. (He jerks his thumb and glances back at the Doctor.) I've had enough from the Doctor. I tell you I'm me, Jamie!

ZOE: (Looking at Jamie then to the Doctor for confirmation, unsure.) Well, why... (Gesturing to Jamie.) does he look so different?

DOCTOR: (Timidly.) Well I... I... I'll tell you later. I... (Loudly.) I think it's about time we got out of this wood.

(Zoe is looking Jamie over skeptically.)

JAMIE: Aye, this place gives me the creeps.

DOCTOR: Yes, well (He clears his throat.) you go on ahead, Jamie.

(Jamie nods and leaves, with the Doctor and Zoe watching him depart.)

ZOE: Is that really Jamie?

DOCTOR: Well... well, yes.

ZOE: But he couldn't just have changed like that, I mean it's impossible!

DOCTOR: Well I... I think we may be in a place where nothing is impossible. C'mon.

(He starts off after Jamie, pulling Zoe along with him.)

(Sometime, hours later, Jamie, Zoe and the Doctor are trudging wearily through the forest. The Doctor mops his face with a handkerchief.)

ZOE: Oh my feet ache. I'm going to sit down and have a rest.

JAMIE: (Surveying the forest around them.) If only we could see over these trees. (He looks back at the Doctor.) Doctor. If you could give me a leg up, I could shin up...

DOCTOR: Yes, good idea!

(He follows Jamie with his hand on Jamie's back, escorting him.)

DOCTOR: Come along.

(Jamie disappears into the inside of a hollow tree and starts to climb with the Doctor's help.)

DOCTOR: Up you go.

(Both make sounds of effort.)

DOCTOR: Can you manage?

JAMIE: Aye, I think so. (Making slow but obvious progress.) It's... a bit tricky but... I'm... I'm nearly... nearly there.

DOCTOR: There's a foothold.

JAMIE: Ah! I'm at the top.

(Catching his breath, Jamie looks down at the flat-topped tree he is standing on.)

JAMIE: Doctor.

ZOE: What is it? Can you see something?

JAMIE: (OOV.) I can see alright. Do you know what this tree is?

DOCTOR: (OOV.) No, what?

JAMIE: (Chuckling.) It's a letter "S". (He looks to one side.) The next one's an "L" (The letters stretch out into the distance.), and then an "O", then a "W". (In awe.) It's a forest of words.

DOCTOR: This must be a... a world of words.

ZOE: Well, what do the words say?

JAMIE: Slow... but... sure. In... for... a... penny...

DOCTOR: ...in for a pound. They're all sayings, proverbs.

JAMIE: Look... before... you... leap. I can't read any more.

ZOE: (OOV.) Well never mind that, can you see a way out?

JAMIE: (Looking down at the Doctor and Zoe, then around.) I think so. (He sees the exit.) Yes! Yes! (He starts his descent.)

DOCTOR: Down you come. (Reaching up to help Jamie.) There's a foothold. (He utters several encouraging comments.)

JAMIE: (Reaching the ground.) There we are. (Pointing.) It's this way.

(They all start walking, but stop abruptly.)

ZOE: (Afraid.) Oh, Doctor.

(The tall, thin, multilingual man that the Doctor met before is standing a little distance ahead of them, blocking the way, with his g*n drawn and pointed their way.)

DOCTOR: It's alright, don't worry. I... I've met this gentleman before. He's a traveler like ourselves.

STRANGER: Sir.

(He starts to walk slowly towards them, a smile on his face.)

DOCTOR: (Chuckling and sincerely happy to see the man again.) Delighted to meet you again sir. Allow me to present my two companions, uh, this is Zoe... (Gesturing to Zoe.)

(The man nods and bows slightly to her.)

DOCTOR: ...and this is Jamie.

(The Doctor gestures to Jamie and the man nods and bows to Jamie.)

JAMIE: How do you do sir.

DOCTOR: We're... we're trying to find our way out of the wood.

STRANGER: This resolution may perhaps appear very bold and dangerous.

ZOE: But we've got to get away!

DOCTOR: Well haven't you ever tried to escape from this place?

STRANGER: (Sounding surprised.) No. No, I looked upon myself to be fully settled for life.

DOCTOR: These tests, what's the point of 'em?

STRANGER: In choosing persons for all employment as they have regards to great abilities. A course of study is required to qualify any man for the service of his country.

ZOE: But who's in charge hear? Who's setting all these tests for us?

STRANGER: The Master.

DOCTOR: The Master again, hey? (Thinking out loud.) I suppose this army of robots works for the Master as well.

STRANGER: Army? As to their military affairs I knew not what they meant.

DOCTOR: (In disbelief.) Oh surely you've seen them.

STRANGER: (Firmly.) I knew not what they meant.

DOCTOR: Ah now but surely--

(He's heard something, he's listening sharply. His eyes widen in alarm as he recognizes what it is he is hearing.)

DOCTOR: Oh. That's the sound they make. They're coming back!

ZOE: Well, what do we do?!

DOCTOR: We hide! In among the trees! Quick! There's a "J", (Gesturing to it.) there's room for two! Oh, thank goodness there's a letter
"C".

(He runs into its hollow. But runs out again a moment later, going toward the man who is looking around bewildered with his g*n drawn.)

DOCTOR: You, sir. Aren't you going to take cover? (Peering past the man fearfully.)

STRANGER: The best expedient I could think of was to keep guard.

ZOE: Well whatever you do, don't give us away.

(Zoe and the Doctor rush back to their hiding places. The sound of the soldiers is getting louder as they approach. The soldiers stand in front of the man.
The man leans back a little and speaks to the Doctor over his shoulder:)

STRANGER: I could not forebear smiling sir. What you told me is mistaken. There was no army here.

(The soldiers move forward, discovering Zoe and Jamie. They are frightened.)

UNKNOWN PLACE TWO

(Only two screens are visible. Jamie and Zoe are on one and the Doctor is on the other.)

THE MASTER: At last. Very well. Round-Them-Up-And-Lead-Them-Away. You-Have-Your-Orders. You-Know-What-To-Do.

FOREST

(Jamie leaves his hiding place and approaches the man.)

JAMIE: (Looking disgustedly at him.) Thank you very much.

ZOE: Why did you give us away?

STRANGER: But I said there was no army here.

DOCTOR: (Whispering, trying to move his mouth as little as possible, trying to be inconspicuous.) Jamie, Zoe, don't you see? (Pointing to the man, but barely moving his arm, hand and finger.) As far as he's concerned, they don't exist. He can't see them.

(He looks back to the man and smiles as if everything were just fine, which to the man it is.)

STRANGER: And now sir, I must forebear to trouble you further. Having answered the only objections you have raised against me, I now take a final leave of you all.

(He makes a little bow and leaves.)

DOCTOR: Sir. (Bowing, smiling to the man.)

JAMIE: (Starting to go after the man.) Hey, but wait a bit--!

(He is stopped by soldiers blocking his way.)

DOCTOR: I... I think the soldiers want us to go in the other direction.

ZOE: (Watching the soldiers.) Doctor? These soldiers, am I mad or do they look like toy soldiers?

DOCTOR: Yes.

(A soldier, with bayoneted g*n pointed in their direction, comes up behind them to start them walking.)

DOCTOR: Particularly dangerous toys too. Come along, let's go.

(The soldiers herd them off. They walk ahead of the soldiers into a black, blank, treeless void. They walk a little way, and then the sound of the soldiers walking behind them stops. Zoe turns around immediately and looks at them.)

ZOE: They stopped.

(Jamie and the Doctor turn around to look too.)

JAMIE: Why have they brought us here. (Looking around, puzzled.)

DOCTOR: Well, we shall soon find out.

UNKNOWN PLACE 2

(Jamie, Zoe and the Doctor are on all three viewers, standing together in blackness.)

THE MASTER: Mission-Is-Accomplished.

FOREST

ZOE: It's so dark.

JAMIE: (Shifting his weight from one foot to another anxiously.) You know... I've got a funny feeling I've... been here before.

(The Doctor hears something.)

DOCTOR: (Sharply.) Shhh!

(There is a faint sound.)

DOCTOR: Listen!

(It's getting louder, a rhythmic pounding sound. They are all listening.)

JAMIE: It sounds like... like a horse galloping.

ZOE: (Her eyes wide and fearful.) It's getting nearer. It's coming this way!

(They hear a horse whinnying.)

DOCTOR: It's not a horse. Look!

(He points. They all look. It's a light-colored, dappled horse with a horn protruding from its forehead. It is standing, moving its head up and down in a way that suggests agitation.)

ZOE: (OOV.) A unicorn!

JAMIE: My dream!

ZOE: It's looking at us!

DOCTOR: (Calm and intent.) Be quite still.

(The Unicorn rears again and again on its hind legs, lashing out with its front hooves, shaking its head, whinnying.)

JAMIE: (Poised to run away, to escape.) It's coming straight for us. Run!

(He and Zoe start to take a step away from the Doctor to escape, but the Doctor grabs them each by the arm in an unshakable grip.)

DOCTOR: No!

JAMIE: We don't stand a chance!

(The Unicorn is galloping straight at them.)

DOCTOR: (OOV.) Stand still!

(The Unicorn is coming towards them in a full gallop and it's head is down and its horn is aimed to k*ll.)

JAMIE: (OOV.) Doctor...!

ZOE: (OOV.) Oh, Doctor!

DOCTOR: (OOV.) Hold your ground!

(The babble of Jamie and Zoe's panicked exclamations and the Doctor's steadfast refusal to budge blend with the thundering hooves and incensed whinnying of the charging unicorn.)
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who", "episode": "06x07 - The Mind Robber - part 2"}