Jason: You ok?

Maggie: Oh I'm fine, it's just a house.

Jason: Yea, it's just a house that you lived in for the first 18 years of your life, house that you haven' even seen since your dad died.

Maggie: Like I said, it's just a house.Oh my God its daddy's chair.

Jason: That's the very one he was sitting in when I told him we were getting married.

Maggie: He got so mad.

Jason: Oh yea, guess he never did get that fixed.

Mike: Ok come here.

Carol: And look, this is where we use to play cowboys and Indians, I was the Indian maiden beautiful yet entirely self reliant.

Ben: Yea, I still remember your Indian name 'abandon by tribe'.

Carol: Thanks for reminding us 'sleeps with the doll' .

Mike: This is how I remember granps, with the twinkling eyes and the corky grin.

Jason: Vain, smug, self-satisfied, I miss him .

Mike: Aw I love this house .

Chrissie: Me too, makes me feel like a kid again .

Jason: Well don't you guys get to attached remember we were here to help grandma fix this house up so she can sell it .

Chrissie: But why does grandma have to move?

Maggie: Florida is warmer besides this house is too big for one person.

Ben: Carol could come live with grandma.

Mike: Ben grandma just lost her husband hasn't she being through enough.

Jason: By the way where is grandma?

Carol: Didn't she come in?

Maggie: Mom, are you coming in?

Grandma: I should have stayed in Akron with your aunt Louise she didn't ask me to make tough decisions.

Maggie: Come on mom, I know you haven't been here since the funeral but we need you to help sort thing out.

Grandma: I almost spent see you father through the door.Just so many ghost here.

Chrissy: Ghost?

Maggie: Honey it's just a figure of speech.

Jason: There is no such things as ghost.

Grandpa: A lot you know shrink man.

Grandpa: Oh Katie my girl you look even more lovely than I remember, but I just got one thing to say, you lose you god inpicken mind,

I mean I heard there was trouble here but selling our house and then some 40 odd years of memory, I'm talking to a woman who is grinding instant coffee.

Maggie: Ok everybody listen up, tonight grandma Kate sleeps in her room, your dad and I have the guest room and the rest of you sleeps down here.

Ben: Here?You expect 6 people to share a fold up couch.

Luke: Hey hey, the floors find with me it's like camping out only it's in.

Grandpa: Who is the tall head here?Well could somebody at least tell me his name.

Carol: I agree with Luke

Grandpa: Thank you very much.

Carol: I could sleep anywhere as long as it's not in smelling distance from Ben's feet.

Mike: Oh I guess Carol is sleeping outside.

Grandma: Someone is welcome to sleep in that big bed with me, even you Ben nothing could be worst than your grandfather's feet.

Grandpa: Hey I was a cop walking an 8 hour bet what do you except, rose petals.

Maggie: Thanks for the offer mom but you need some privacy this is your house.

Jason: I have a list of repair we have to do before we can sell this house.

Grandpa: Who died and put you in charge, oh I guess I did.For this you called me out of a golf game with James Mansfield and Scoraties.

Kate: You know why don't I fix lunch for everybody.

Carol: The human granola bar is cooking lunch, I better take over.

Luke: Carol's cooking lunch, come on Chrissie let's go call for pizza.

Grandma: Benny you want to earn a couple of dollars helping your old grandma carry some boxes?

Ben: Sure, but if course I'd rather carry them for free.

Kate: Carol is such a nice person, she comes into the kitchen says I'm a guest and she refused to let me cook lunch.

Mike: Well it's times like this when I love her to.

Jason: Alright Mike I could use your help cleaning out those rain gutters.

Mike: Oh ah, sure dad.

Kate: Oh Mike are you ok?

Jason: What happened?

Mike: It's my ankle I twisted it, I don't know if I could handle those gutters dad.

Jason: Really?Isn't that convenient.

Grandpa: Oh you cold hearted quack.

Kate: Doctor Sever your son is hurt.

Mike: No no no, it's nothing that I can't walk of, let me at that ladder.

Jason: Oh alright, maybe I was hasty Mike maybe Kate should take you to get that x-ray.

Mike: Well alright if you say so.

Jason: Just that you pull so many scams in the past I, I'm sorry.

Mike: Ok.

Grandpa: Why you little scam.

Kate: What are you doing?

Mike: I am getting us a day of sightseeing in Boston.

Kate: You're not hurt?

Mike: Well if I was do you think I could do this.

Grandpa: I taught him that.

Kate: Mike Sever you scared me half to death.

Mike: I know, I know Kate but I had to, I mean I couldn't put of this lame scam all by myself.

Kate: Oh so you made me your Patsy.

Mike: Well no technically dad was the pasty and you were my stooge.

Kate: When are you going to grow up?

Grandpa: Women.

Jason: Hi I though you were going to the emergency room.

Mike: Dad look I don't care how bad the pain is I'm going to help you with those gutters.

Jason: Oh I see Kate didn't want to go sightseeing.

Ben: Gosh this box is heavy.

Grandma: Here Ben, don't tell your mother.

Maggie: Mom I'm standing right here.

Grandma: Big mouth.

Maggie: Mom you are on a fixed income you can't keep giving your money away to an extortionist.

Grandma: I didn't know Ben was double-jointed.

Maggie: Let's get to it, only so much will fit in your condo.

Grandma: Oh I'm awful at this I never know to save and what to throw away.

Maggie: Well here's you can throw away, your old fashion juicer.

Grandma: Oh no, I'm going to Florida I'll need that.

Maggie: Well mom you've got an electric juicer downstairs.

Grandma: I never used that one.

Maggie: Why not?

Grandma: I hate orange juice.

grandpa: See what I put up with for 46 years .

Carol: I brought some boxes, aww the enchanted castle .

Grandpa: Oh what do you know my old WW2 pumpkin.

Carol: Grandpa and I use to play this game where I was the princess and grandpa was the gallant knight who has to slay the dragon with the horrible breath

otherwise know as Mike.

Grandma: Oh look there's Jason.

Maggie: Jason how are the gutters coming?

Grandpa: Look if you fall try to land on your hair.

Jason: Alright Mike don't turn that water on until I've got a...

Grandpa: Boy look at that kid run.

Grandpa: Margaret, I'm sorry that I didn't take you on the fishing trip that I promise to.

I know you can hear what I am talking to.But you see, I have long checklist things to my apologize for...

Grandpa: Well that's 2 done and ah 3163 to go.

Grandpa: Listen I got some apologies to make to you to, at that time at your wedding when I called you a bustering spinach for brains nincomepoop,

I'm sorry no I'm not who wrote this?

Jason: I'm going to go knock that window screen back into place.

Mike: Oh look at all these letters that grandma saved from grandpa

Grandpa: Woman doesn't throw out anything.

Mike: What was that?

Maggie: Your father.

Mike: Oh wow this is incredible.

Grandpa: What, oh don't read that, that's private.

Mike: My dearest Katie.

Grandpa: Young people they never listen.

Maggie: Jason shouldn't we hire someone to make these repairs?

Jason: It wasn't my fault, I was swing the hammer I inhaled a moth.

Maggie: Mike go upstairs and get a bandage and antiseptic.

Jason: And Maalox.

Mike: Sure.

Maggie: Oh Jason, now that I have you alone I'm so worried about my mother she seems vague, indecisive, confused.

Jason: Totally out of touch with reality?

Maggie: You've noticed it too.

Jason: Since 1968.

Maggie: No Jason this is worst than usual.

Jason: Honey she's grieving over Ed you've got to bear with her.

Maggie: Oh I'm trying but she is really getting to me, thank God she's moving to Florida it's obvious she can't handle this house by herself.

Jason: Oh it's not as bad as you think.

Chris: Mommy, daddy come quick grandma got her head stuck in the sofa bed.

Ben: Oh Jenny, oh Jenny.

Carol: What made me think I could sleep with this ravel, I know I'll take grandma up on here offer, grandma.

Grandpa: Oh my darling Katie just look at you, you still sleeping on your side of the bed, you can spread out now if you want to you know.

Ah Katie what are you going to do without me, the one who spends 20mins at the photo mart trying to buy a bucket of chicken,

the woman who tried to cash one of those million dollar Ed Mac mad checks.

Katie my girl you scared me to death, well you know what I mean, all I really want to know Kate is

' are you going to be alright?' you are going to be alright aren't you Kate .

Kate: Mike.

Mike: Hey I want to show you something I found.

Kate: What's that the first report card you foraged?

Mike: No, is ah love letter from my grandfather to my grandmother, grandpa Ed wrote this when he was station in the pacific in world w*r 2.

Kate: Oh.

Mike: Just listen.My dearest Katie here I am on this God forsaking island and all I could think about is you I don't deserve you I'm vain selfish and

immature, but out here with the b*ll*ts flying I'm growing up fast, I love you Kate and I pray that the lord keeps you safe so I could return home to your

arms, your devoted solider boy Eddy.

Kate: Oh Mike that's beautiful.

Mike: Kate this letter says what I've being trying to say to you better than I ever could.

Kate: Oh Mike.

Mike: Oh Kate.

Carol: Oh please, a quiet place to sleep that's all I ask.

Kate: Your son just shared the most wonderful thing with me, a love letter from your dad to your mom.

Grandpa: Oh not that darn thing again.

Maggie: A love letter let me see that.

Grandpa: Oh boy.

Kate: It's so beautiful, especially the part about growing up fast when the b*ll*ts are flying.What's so funny?

Maggie: This letter, it's a croc.

Kate: What do you mean, grandpa Ed didn't write it?

Maggie: No, oh he wrote it but not form some god forsaken island in the pacific, he wrote it fro the mess hall at fort dicks the only thing that was flying

was cream chip beef, he never shipped out he mailed this an hour before the w*r ended.

Grandpa: Hey was it my fault that peace broke out right after lunch.

Kate: Does Mike know about all of this?

Maggie: Well he should, it's being a family joke for years.

Kate: Excuse me, I have to get some wood for the f*re, I gotta chop something now.

Maggie: Oh mom good I've being looking for that pile of clothes we left on the couch do you know what happen to them?

Grandma: What pile of clothes?

Maggie: The ones we spend all day packing and putting in boxes.

Grandma: Put them all back in the closet.

Maggie: You did what?

Grandma: You said you needed boxes for some clothes for the homeless.

Maggie: Mom those were the clothes for the homeless.

Grandma: Then what are they doing back in the closet?

Maggie: Mother where is your head?

Grandpa: Watch that tone with your mother.Where is your head?

Grandma: I'm sorry I don't know what's the matter with me lately.

Maggie: No mom I'm sorry I yelled at you I'm just worried about you .

Grandma: I'll get the clothes.

Grandpa: You used to walk away from me when I yelled at you Kate, so that's what your face looked like huh.

Jason: What was that all above I could hear the yelling in there.

Maggie: Jason I don't know what I'm going to do with my mom, she says she want to move to Florida but by the ways she's acting you'd never know it .

Jason: well if my patients behave like that I look at what there're doing not what they saying.

Grandpa: Oh horse hockey, I've seen better wisdom embroidered on a couch pillow.

Jason: Hey Luke you want to help me stack some snide blocks.

Luke: Oh yea sure thing.Hmm I'll go get the medicine kit .

Mike: Please!I swerve I didn't know.

Kate: Why should I believe anything you say?

Mike: Because you're still armed.Ah grandma, excuse me I've got to go wash up.

Grandma: He was always a messy eater.

Kate: Your grandson can be so exasperating.

Grandma: It's his deviated septum.

Kate: No we were fighting about this.

Grandpa: Not again, I'm the ghost here and this thing keeps hunting me.

Grandma: I haven't seen this in years.

Grandpa: Oh hear it comes, boy she's never forgiven me for writing that stupid letter.

Kate: Oh I'm sorry I shouldn't have shown that to you I'm sure that's a sore spot.

Grandpa: Sore sh*t, hell I almost hand in our engagement.

Grandma: I'll let you in on a secret; I married Ed because of this letter.

Kate and Grandpa: huh?

Grandma: Oh true he stretch the truth a bit but, it was the first time he said he loved me, granted it took a world w*r to get him to say it but with men like Ed you've got to look beyond the blind end listen to what your heart is saying just thinking about it gives me gooses bumps.

Grandpa: You're not the only one.

Kate: I think I'm going to go look for Mike.

Grandma: What happened?

Maggie: Oh Jason dropped a snider block on his toe.

Jason: I didn't drop it there was gust of wind.

Grandpa: Right between his ears.

Maggie: Jason your toe will be fine just let me put a bandage on it.

Jason: I could put a bandage on it myself.

Maggie: No let me.

Jason: Maggie you're treating me like I were in a ....I was going to replace that window anyway.

Maggie: Oh come on.

Jason: Watch the toe.

Maggie: Ok.

Jason: Watch the toe.

Maggie: I am.

Luke: Can I have a glass of water?

Grandma: Oh sure.

Luke: Ok forget the glass.

Grandma: Sorry, oh I'm glad I'm leaving I can't handle this house anymore.

Luke: Oh why, this is a great house don't you let a little broken washer chase you out.

Grandma: Oh the washers broken too?

Luke: No I meant the washer in the forset it's easy to fix.

Grandma: Not for me, Ed always said if there was a way to break a machine I'd find it, he made me feel so helpless at times.

Grandpa: Oh Kate I never wanted you to feel that way; I was just a little inpatient that's all.

Oh good lord now I know why they sent me back they wanted me to see what I've turned you into.

The gentlest, sweetest woman I know, I've had afraid of the world.

Luke: Grandma Kate believe me changing the washer is a snap you just don't let doctor Sever help you, now come here let me show you how to do it, come on.

Now here's where the water enter the house, take this now all you have to do is turn this clockwise.

Grandma: Oh I don't know.

Grandpa: Come on girl, you can do it.

Grandma: Clockwise.

Luke: Clockwise, and now the test.Mrs.Malone you just single handedly turn of the water .

Grandma: Oh no.

Luke: No, that's good.

Grandma: Oh boy, I did it.

Grandpa: I knew you could do it.

Grandma: Now, let me at that washer doohickey.

Grandma: Let's go everybody last one to the table is a rotten apple.

Grandpa: Egg Kate well I guess apple would work.

Maggie: Mom you unpacked everything, what's going on with you.

Maggie: Mom that's your announcement.

Grandma: Uh huh, oh ah and I'm not moving to Florida.

Everybody: You're not.

Maggie: But mom you have to you say yourself that this house was too much for you to handle.

Grandma: No everyone else said it, the problem was I believed it, I want to stay there's a life time of memories here.

Maggie: You call them ghost.

Grandma: I like the ghosts.

Chris: I'm glad you're staying grandma.

Maggie: Oh mom so am I.

Grandpa: Good girl Katie now my work here is done, gee maybe if I hurry I could catch up with Scoraties on the back line.

Ben: So what's for lunch grandma?

Grandma: Tuna casserole, it was Ed's favorite.

Grandpa: Oh that's the one with the potato chips crumble on the top it's a pity I can't eat anymore,

aw heck I'll just wait for the master tournament whip Michael Angelo's butt.
{"type": "series", "show": "Growing Pains", "episode": "07x10 -  Home Malone"}