THE SUN MAKERS

BY: ROBERT HOLMES

Part Four

Original Air Date: 17 December 1977
Running time: 24:57

COLLECTOR: That noise, Hade. Can't something be done about it? We shan't hear her.

HADE: It's vibration in the exchanger, your Magnificence.

COLLECTOR: I know what it is. I don't want my pleasure ruined by it.

MARN: Her cries will be clearly audible, your Honour.

COLLECTOR: What's that? The subtleties will be lost. The deeper notes of despair, the final dying cadences. The whole point of a good steaming is the range it affords.

HADE: Marn. Er, no. I'll see if the discriminator can be adjusted, your Immensity.

MANDRELL: Doctor, can you hear me?

MANDRELL (OOV.): I can't give you any longer.

MANDRELL: The exchanger's going to blow any second.

MANDRELL (OOV.): Get out, Doctor. Get out of there!

COLLECTOR: What was it?

HADE: I thought I heard someone say Doc-Tor, your Sagacity. It wasn't the girl. There hasn't been a peep out of her.

COLLECTOR: Precisely, Hade. Something has gone wrong. Order the guards to investigate.

HADE: Immediately, your Omniscience. Come along, Marn!

SYNGE: Flow valves open.

MANDRELL: Main pumps in.

SYNGE: Sixty atmospheres, still rising.

MANDRELL: Plug auxiliaries in. Quick!

SYNGE: Auxiliaries in. She's cooling, look.

MANDRELL: We've made it. Unless the air plates have buckled, Synge.

SYNGE: Let's hope they haven't.

CORDO: Do you think the Doctor got out in time?

BISHAM: If he didn't, he wouldn't have known much about it.

MANDRELL: We gave him his two minutes. More than his two minutes.

CORDO: Listen. In the vent! He's made it!

CORDO: Leela!

DOCTOR: Who was making all that noise?

MANDRELL: I was, Doctor.

DOCTOR: I told you not to use that radio link.

BISHAM: We had to tell you that your time was up, Doctor.

DOCTOR: You told the Collector, too! That fish-blooded sadist had Leela's casket wired for sound.

LEELA: What's happening? What's he doing here?

CORDO: We've sired a revolution, Leela. Down with the Company, eh, fellas!

DOCTOR: Ah, ah, Cordo. We've got a great deal to do yet.

BISHAM: It's going well, though, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Is it?

BISHAM: The PCM is clearing from the air faster than I expected. It's down ten points already.

MANDRELL: All my men are out putting some fight into the work units. If just one District joins the resistance the word'll spread through the whole City.

DOCTOR: Shush. Where's the public video system controlled from?

MANDRELL: The Collector's Palace.

BISHAM: Yes, he runs everything from the Computer room. Why, Doctor?

DOCTOR: If the public video system announced there'd been a successful rebellion, think of the effect.

LEELA: Everyone would believe it.

DOCTOR: Right.

BISHAM: Yes, but the Palace is guarded by his Inner Retinue.

DOCTOR: He's guarded by his Inner Retinue, and most of them are down there with him. Come on, Leela, let's go.

LEELA: MegroGuards! MegroGuards coming this way!

DOCTOR: Everybody keep calm, keep calm. Keep quiet. You two back there. You three over there. Leela, behind the door.

SYNGE: What do you want here?

CORDO: All right, drop your g*n.

DOCTOR: All right, tie them up.

DOCTOR: Pretty soon the whole place will be under siege here. K9? (to Bisham) I want you to hold out as long as possible.

BISHAM: Yes, Doctor.

CORDO: We'll do it, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Of course you will.

CORDO: Now we have more w*apon, we can hold the corridor.

DOCTOR: Good man. K9?

LEELA: K9?

DOCTOR: K9?

ALL: K9?

DOCTOR: K9, where are you?

K9: Master.

DOCTOR: Ah, there you are. Now, listen. I want you to give my friends all the help they need. You understand?

K9: I am at full offensive capability, master.

DOCTOR: You're a good dog. Come on, Leela. Gentlemen, good luck.

BISHAM: Thank you, Doctor.

MANDRELL: Right, Doctor.

COLLECTOR: An unprofitable operation, Hade.

HADE: Your Supernal Eminence, I simply can't understand it. No one has ever endured a steaming without vocalising in the most gratifying fashion.

COLLECTOR: A complete waste of time. And we've lost point oh four seven percent in production. Unpaid overtime to be introduced immediately for all work grades. See to it!

HADE: Without fail, Monstrosity, without fail.

COLLECTOR: What is it?

COMMANDER: Your Excellence, sir. Some minor disturbances. It may not be wise to travel in the subways until the trouble has been suppressed.

COLLECTOR: What trouble?

COMMANDER: It appears that some of the work units are refusing to leave their dormers, Excellency.

HADE: Refusing to leave? I've never heard of such a thing.

COLLECTOR: This situation must be normalised. Any sustained unrest among the workforce will adversely affect Company profitability.

HADE: Sing adoration to our Company!

COMMANDER: I have dispatched a division of the retinue, Excellency. The account will be swiftly settled.

COLLECTOR: With interest, Commander. They must be made to pay.

HADE: I will introduce a swingeing output linked penalty tax in my next monthly budget, your Corpulence.

COLLECTOR: The Doctor must be behind it. I sense the vicious doctrine of egalitarianism, Hade.

HADE: Everyone knows your senses are infallible, your Promontory.

COLLECTOR: Have the guards reported from Main Control yet?

HADE: No, your Omnipresence. My underling Marn is investigating.

COLLECTOR: Not good enough, Hade. Not good enough. I am noting your work rate.

HADE: I will instigate action myself, your Aggrandizement. Instantly. Immediately.

CORDO: You'll never believe this, Bisham, but I'm really beginning to enjoy myself.

BISHAM: The air's better without PCM, isn't it.

SYNGE: Yes, we'll never pay breathing tax to the Company again.

MANDRELL: Oh, we'll pay no more taxes, brother. The Gatherer's got his last talmar off of us.

CORDO: I feel so good, like a new man!

MANDRELL: Keep an eye on the corridor, Cordo, or you'll be a d*ad new man.

CORDO: All right, Mandrell. I know. K9's got it covered.

SYNGE: I wonder what's happening in the subways and dormers?

BISHAM: Theoretically, the dispersion rate of the PCM should be slower down there, but there should be something happening by now.

MANDRELL: If the work units turn, the guard'll really have their hands full.

GUARD: Come on, move yourselves. Report for work at once. Work! Work!

GUARD: Collector's orders.

GOUDRY (OOV.): Strike, brother. Join us, or get out.

GUARD: Who said that? Who was it?

GOUDRY: Me. Nobody works today.

VEET: Nobody works today.

GUARD: That's mutiny against the Company. You've just earned yourself an early death day, Citizen.

DOCTOR: No, no, no.

LEELA: Why not?

DOCTOR: No, don't k*ll him. He hasn't done you any harm.

LEELA: Then I shall k*ll him before he does.

DOCTOR: No. Get up. Come on, get up.

LEELA: Doctor, the last one I spared got away and warned his comrades. That is why I was captured.

DOCTOR: Then we'll make sure this one doesn't get away. Here, look at me. Look at me! Now listen. It's your sleep time. Sleep time. You're feeling very sleepy. Very sleepy. It's your sleep time. You will go to sleep and stay asleep until I tell you to wake up. Until I tell you to wake up.

DOCTOR: Come on. Come on.

DOCTOR: Wake up.

LEELA: How did you do that?

DOCTOR: What, that? Poof, it's just a knack. You've either got it or you haven't.

LEELA: Doctor!

DOCTOR: What is it?

LEELA: This is where the grey one, the Collector, sat.

DOCTOR: What, like a spider in the middle of a web?

LEELA: Yes, yes.

DOCTOR: I understand all this. He has a computer feeding and analysing the daily returns from each Megropolis. Suppose. Suppose he wants to broadcast some pleasing bit of news, hmm? Like the imposition of a double vision tax on people with more than one eye. Well, then, he feeds it into there.

LEELA: He fed it into here.

DOCTOR: He did?

HADE: I fear the situation is worsening, your Grossness.

COLLECTOR: Laxity, Hade, laxity and weakness. You have shown them too much kindness. A grave error of judgment. Grinding oppression of the masses is the only policy that pays dividends.

HADE: Your Oratundity, my MegroGuards are outnumbered by the rabble. If I could have two divisions of the Inner Retinue?

COLLECTOR: The sole task of the Inner Retinue is to protect my person. You've mishandled the situation, Hade. As for your ambition to become Tax Master General. After this, forget it!

MARN: Your Honour.

HADE: What is it, Marn?

MARN: I've just heard that some of the work units have gone to the roof of Block Forty to look at our sun.

HADE: Outrageous! Sacrilege! The work units are absolutely forbidden to see the light of the sun. It's far too good for them. I'll soon deal with this.

COLLECTOR: A combat situation is escalating. Those idiots have let it get out of hand. It is imperative that I return to the Palace to implement my contingency plans.

COMMANDER: But Excellency, there's fighting in the

COLLECTOR: Quiet! The Inner Retinue will march around me in close order. Their bodies will shield me. Now hurry.

LEELA: Doctor, come here.

DOCTOR: That should do it.

LEELA: Doctor! What is this?

DOCTOR: What, that? It's a safe. Company vault.

LEELA: Doctor, is there

DOCTOR: Shush.

LEELA: Is there something behind the door?

DOCTOR: What was that?

LEELA: I heard nothing.

DOCTOR: Neither did I.

LEELA: Then why are we whispering?

DOCTOR: I always whisper when I'm opening safes. What is it?

LEELA: What are you doing?

DOCTOR: I don't know. It always looks so easy.

LEELA: Why was it locked?

DOCTOR: I don't know.

DOCTOR: Why won't you listen to me? Why don't you girls listen to me?

BISHAM: The PCM in the atmosphere has fallen to three parts in a thousand.

COMPUTER: Attention all Citizens. Attention all Citizens. Stand by for an important public bulletin. Megropolis One is now under the management of the Citizen's Revolution. The Director, the Tax Gatherer and all other Company officials are to be arrested on sight.

MANDRELL: It's happened.

COMPUTER: All guards are ordered to lay down their arms and join their fellow Citizens in peaceful cooperation.

CORDO: There! Stop or we f*re. Get her!

MARN: Citizens, I'd like to join the Revolution.

COMPUTER: The rule of the Company is ended. All work places will remain closed until further notice. Long live the Revolution.

CORDO: Whee!

CORDO: It's over!

BISHAM: Cordo!

CORDO: We've won!

BISHAM: We haven't.

CORDO: What?

BISHAM: That bulletin was fixed. It was the Doctor trying to push things on a bit.

MANDRELL: That'll bring the whole city onto our side. I don't know why you're hesitating.

CORDO: Yes! We've got the g*n, we should get out and help them.

MANDRELL: What do you think, Bisham?

BISHAM: Cordo's right. The fight has moved on from here.

MANDRELL: Synge. You can run things down here.

SYNGE: I suppose so, but leave K9 guarding the corridor, just in case, eh?

BISHAM: Yes, of course.

HADE: You there! What are you scum doing up here? This is an abominable crime. An outrage! Leave at once, do you hear me?

VEET: It's the Gatherer. It's the Gatherer!

HADE: I order you to leave. You'll pay dearly. Keep back! Don't you dare! I'm an official of the Company!

VEET: And we'll do the same for the Collector when we find him, won't we, Citizens.

ALL: Yes!

COLLECTOR: Kindly make less noise.

DOCTOR: Oh, I was just checking the books.

COLLECTOR: Your appearance is not unexpected.

DOCTOR: I'm not the Auditor, I'm the Doctor.

COLLECTOR: I know.

COLLECTOR: If you intend to k*ll me, as you see, I'm unarmed.

DOCTOR: No, I won't k*ll you. Just close you down.

COLLECTOR: An idle boast. Other competitors have tried. Would you care to see our prospectus?

DOCTOR: Oh, delighted, delighted.

DOCTOR: Hmm. Company solidly based. You've a widely diversified operational field. Yes.

COLLECTOR: You're a fool, Doctor. I shall have you steamed for your interference.

DOCTOR: Yes, I cut the answering service not to interrupt our little conference.

COLLECTOR: Very well. I see I underestimated you. What are your terms?

DOCTOR: Tell me about the Company.

COLLECTOR: Ah, you're interested.

DOCTOR: Yes.

COLLECTOR: Oh, an excellent outfit to work for, Doctor. Progress from medium to senior management level can be remarkably rapid for the talented executive.

DOCTOR: Yes, cut the sales talk. Where's the Head Office?

COLLECTOR: Usurius.

DOCTOR: Ah. I might have guessed from your squiddy little eyes. Hmm.

COLLECTOR: You are acquainted with our species?

DOCTOR: Oh yes, oh yes. The Usurians are listed in Professor Thripsted's Flora and Fauna of the Universe under poisonous fungi.

COLLECTOR: I don't entirely like your attitude. If you want to get on in the Company you have to what? What? Are you mad?

DOCTOR: Quite mad. Mad as a hatter.

DOCTOR: Tell me, how did you get control of humanity?

COLLECTOR: A normal business operation. The Company was looking for property in this sector, Earth was running down, it's people dying. We made a deal.

DOCTOR: Go on.

COLLECTOR: Yes. We moved them all to Mars.

COLLECTOR (OOV.): After our engineers had made that planet habitable for their species.

DOCTOR: And then taxed the life out of them. I mean, to recover your capital costs.

COLLECTOR: Quite so, quite so. Then, when the resources of Mars were exhausted in their turn, we created a new environment for them here on Pluto.

DOCTOR: Phew. What about the four intervening planets?

COLLECTOR: They weren't considered viable by our engineers.

DOCTOR: So then you really put the screws on. I mean, the running costs must be very high.

COLLECTOR: Six suns to be fueled and serviced.

DOCTOR: Six suns. Six! My, my. And so when this planet's exhausted you can move your sl*ve labour force elsewhere?

COLLECTOR: Alas, no. There is nowhere else that is economic. This branch will close.

DOCTOR: Leaving the humans to die.

COLLECTOR: When the suns have run down, yes. A matter of a few years without fuel. They're not a good workforce in any case. Many of our other operations produce a much higher return with less labour.

DOCTOR: You blood-sucking leech! You won't stop until you own the entire galaxy, will you. Don't you think commercial imperialism is as bad as military conquest?

COLLECTOR: We have tried w*r, but the use of economic power is far more effective.

DOCTOR: You

DOCTOR: Ah. The revolution's getting nearer. What's the Company policy on that?

COLLECTOR: It will be quelled. Business will continue as usual.

DOCTOR: Oh, wake up. Wake up. Look at the facts.

COLLECTOR: I know the facts.

DOCTOR: You and a handful of bureaucrats won't put the people back in chains now.

COLLECTOR: Then they will die.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's you again. What did I say?

COLLECTOR: Our conference has gone on too long, Doctor. It is time to implement contingency plan A.

COLLECTOR: This switch controls the sprinkler valves throughout the City.

DOCTOR: Rain stops play. I don't think that'll damp down this revolution.

COLLECTOR: The sprinklers will release dianene, a deadly poison. Within ten seconds, everyone in the City will be d*ad.

DOCTOR: Except you.

COLLECTOR: Exactly. I do not breathe air.

DOCTOR: No, but this chap at my shoulder, he breathes air.

COLLECTOR: k*ll him!

DOCTOR: Don't be a fool.

COLLECTOR: Guard, k*ll him!

DOCTOR: Good throw! Good throw.

DOCTOR: What's contingency plan B?

COLLECTOR: Nobody understands business is business.

LEELA: What do we do now, Doctor, k*ll him?

DOCTOR: You'll like this bit. You'll like it.

COLLECTOR: Nine zero nine! A mistake in the Megropolis Six analysis. Recheck!

COMPUTER: Nine zero nine. Recheck. Megropolis Six analysis confirmed correct.

COLLECTOR: Commander! Arrest these idiots. I have a problem. Nine zero nine. Megropolis Four analysis. Mistake. Recheck

COMPUTER: Nine zero nine.

CORDO: Collector, in the name of the work units, I order

LEELA: People, Cordo.

CORDO: Yes. In the name of the people I order you to be tried by

DOCTOR: Cordo, I don't think he's listening.

COLLECTOR: Negative surplus. Inflationary spiral uncheckable. Negative growth! This branch is no longer viable.

COLLECTOR: We are bankrupt. Business failure. Closure imperative. Cut losses. Liquidate. Immediate liquidation.

BISHAM: I'm sorry I'm late. What happened?

MANDRELL: Well, I don't know.

DOCTOR: I do. He's gone back to his natural form. He was only held in that state by particle radiation. That's why he never left that machine.

LEELA: You mean he's in there now?

DOCTOR: Oh, yes.

LEELA: Well, we could make a hole in it.

CORDO: Do you think he'll come out again?

DOCTOR: Well, you could put the plug in if you want.

COMMANDER: I don't understand. Why was it necessary for him to make himself look human?

DOCTOR: Well, if you'd seen a Usurian you'd know what I mean. They look like sea kale with eyes. I mean, would you take orders from a lump of seaweed? Huh? Hmm? Cordo?

DOCTOR: Leela, let K9 in the TARDIS. Goodbye, Cordo.

CORDO: I wish you could stay, Doctor. There is much to do.

DOCTOR: Well, I'll pop back and see you again when you've settled again on Earth.

BISHAM: That'll be hard work.

DOCTOR: Well, you're used to hard work. This time, you'll be free.

LEELA: Goodbye, Veet.

VEET: Goodbye.

LEELA: Till the next time? Come on, K9. Come on.

BISHAM: You really believe we can colonise the Earth again?

DOCTOR: Well, I do, I do. The Earth will have regenerated itself since you left. Get back to your place under your own sun.

ALL: Goodbye, Doctor.

MANDRELL: Can the star freighters make that journey?

DOCTOR: Course they will. Three hundred million of you can't go wrong. Goodbye everyone!

ALL: Goodbye.

K9: King to Bishop four, mistress.

DOCTOR: Which is more than I can say for the TARDIS.

LEELA: Eh?

DOCTOR: Nothing. I was just finishing a thought. Now, where were we?

K9: Mate in six moves, master.

DOCTOR: Oh, be quiet, K9.

LEELA: I wonder why the Collector gave in so easily? I thought he would fight.

DOCTOR: He got a bit of a shock. You see, I fed two percent growth tax into the computers. Index linked. Blew the economy and he couldn't take it.

LEELA: I do not understand. You did something clever?

DOCTOR: Well, I. What do you think, K9?

K9: Affirmative.

DOCTOR: K9 thinks it was clever.

DOCTOR: I am so sorry, K9.

K9: Apologies are not necessary.

DOCTOR: No, shut up while I apologise. I am so. Listen. As soon as I've reset the coordinates, we'll finish that game of chess.
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who", "episode": "15x16 - The Sun Makers - part 4"}