Air Date: 28 Oct 2011

INT. FIRST BANK OF JERICHO – DAY

Sam: You sure about this?

Dean: Trust me.

Dean walks up to a teller and Sam stands near the front door.

Dean: Good morning... Megan. That is a really, really pretty dress.

MEGAN: Oh!

Dean makes a hand signal below the counter to Sam.

MEGAN: Thank you. It's vintage.

Dean: Well, it looks new on you.

MEGAN: Aren't you sweet, sir?

Dean: Call me Dean.

Sam closes and locks the front door.

MEGAN: How can I help you today, Dean?

Dean: Um, well, I don't actually have an account at this bank, but I was wondering if there was any way...

Dean slides a bill across the counter.

Dean: ...I could get change for that?

MEGAN: I think I can make an exception... just for you.

Dean: Thanks.

Dean looks at Sam, who nods.

MEGAN: How do you want it, Dean?

Dean: [laughs]Well, I'm gonna have to take a rain check... and all your money.

Dean points a semi-a*t*matic r*fle at MEGAN, then he and Sam f*re at the ceiling.

Sam: Hands in the air! Hands in the air! Your money's insured, so no heroes, okay?

Dean pushes MEGAN into a bank box room containing at least a dozen other bank customers and staff.

Dean: Get in there!

Sam: You ready?

Dean: Yep.

A security camera shows Sam and Dean standing outside the room with their g*n. Dean looks up at the camera.

Sam and Dean lift their g*n and f*re many rounds into the room as the people inside scream. The security camera records this.

SUPERNATURAL

EXT. RUFUS' CABIN – DAY

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

CHET is chained to a chair. Bobby is filling a syringe.

Bobby: Okay, Chet. Let's see how you like a little fruit of the poison tree.

CHET: Isn't that just a legal expression?

Bobby: You're gonna wish it was.

Bobby jabs the syringe into CHET's thigh.

CHET: Hmm.

CHET smacks his lips.

CHET: Okay. Similar finish to holy water, not as bitter as rock salt.

Sam and Dean come down the stairs.

CHET: And how are my two favorite meat-sicles?

Dean: Is he still sucking air?

Bobby: Greatest hits didn't do the trick. I'm down to B-sides and deep cuts.

Dean: Well, you better figure out something quick. That whammy that witch dude put on him is only gonna last for a few days. He gets his spinach back, we're gonna end up having to drop a car on him just to stop him.

CHET: Actually... Edgar walked away from that car. He's fine. Well, he is a little pissed at you, but -- Oh. You didn't know?

Dean: Why don't you shut your cake-trap?

CHET: Ooh.

Sam: Bobby... You've been using all this stuff and he still won't talk?

Bobby shakes his head. Dean pulls up a stool and sits close to CHET.

CHET: Huddle over, coach?

Dean: How'd you find us?

CHET: It was easy. I used pattern-recognition software and a basic heuristic algorithm to track your known aliases.

Bobby: Great. Just what we need -- a Mensa monster.

Dean gets up and walks over to stand near Sam.

Sam: All right. Let's just start with the start. Where'd you get our aliases?

CHET: From your trench-coated friend, obviously. When we were all nestled in at Camp Cas, kind of got

the full download. That's just how we do.

Bobby: So why are you talking to us, Chet? You're not dumb. Why you spilling state secrets?

CHET: 'Cause I'm not scared of you. You can't stop me. You can't stop any of us. We can't be k*lled, you stupid little chewtoys. You are aware that I'm the least of your concerns, right? Oh. You haven't watched the news today, have you?

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – DAY

Sam, Dean and Bobby are watching the news on television.

Reporter ON TV: The two men, who up until today were presumed d*ad, locked the doors and opened f*re, leaving no survivors. Sam and Dean Winchester are now the subjects of a manhunt throughout the state of California.

[TELEVISION SCREEN: A male Reporter in a suit and tie speaks into a microphone.

Caption: BREAKING NEWS – FUGITIVES STILL AT LARGE

Logo: KZPZ NEWS

The security camera footage of LEVIATHAN!Sam and LEVIATHAN!Dean appears in the top right-hand corner of the screen.]

Bobby turns off the television.

Bobby: Busy morning, you two?

Dean: Those sons of bitches xeroxed us.

Sam: But I don't understand how.

Bobby: I don't know.

Bobby takes a beer out of the refrigerator.

Bobby: Maybe one of 'em touched you at the hospital.

CHET (V-O): It was the hair!

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

CHET: Not too hard to lift some DNA out of a motel shower drain, guys!

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – DAY

Dean: You can copy people like that?

Bobby shrugs.

Dean: Awesome. Well, what is their plan, exactly?

Sam: Squeeze us. Turn us into the most wanted men in America.

Dean: All right. Well, that settles it. We find these ass monkeys, and we k*ll them ourselves.

Bobby: Wait a sec. Every form of law enforcement in the country has seen your ugly mugs this morning.

Dean: Exactly. So what's the point in trying to hide?

Bobby: Better than sticking your fool neck out. These things are smarter than you.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

CHET laughs.

Sam (V-O): Geez, Bobby, don't sugarcoat it.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – DAY

Bobby: You don't have a clue how to k*ll 'em or slow 'em down, and your plan is, what? Go right at 'em? Genius.

Dean: They're wearing our faces, Bobby. This is personal.

Sam: Yeah, I'm with Dean here.

Bobby: Well, if you're gonna be stupid, you might as well be smart about it. You need to see a fella named Frank Devereaux.

Sam: Who's he?

Bobby: He's a jackass and a lunatic, but he owes me one, from back in Port Huron.

Bobby hands Dean a piece of paper with the address.

Bobby: In the meantime, I'll keep working on Chatty Cathy here, see if I can figure out what makes him die.

EXT. SERVICE STATION – NIGHT

The Impala pulls up to the pumps and Dean and Sam get out.

Sam: The usual?

Dean: Rhymes with sing-songs.

INT. SERVICE STATION COVENIENCE STORE – NIGHT

Sam puts a box of "Bing Bongs" chocolate cupcakes with vanilla filling, two bottles of water and some other items on the counter.

Sam: You guys sell protein bars?

CLERK: Yeah.

The CLERK takes a long look at Sam's face.

CLERK: But it's in -- it's in the back, though. Just, uh, give me a second.

Sam: Sure. Thanks.

The CLERK takes out his cell phone as he walks to the back room. Sam sees security footage of himself and Dean playing on a television behind the counter.

EXT. SERVICE STATION – NIGHT

Sam walks out of the convenience store. Dean is filling the Impala.

Sam: Pretty sure the cashier just made me. Drive.

Dean replaces the pump and they leave, tires squealing.

EXT. CRIME SCENE – DAY

Two FBI agents get out of their vehicle and hold up badges to a Sheriff.

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS: Special Agent Morris. This is Special Agent Valente.

Sheriff: Gentlemen. These Winchester boys are keeping busy, I hear. What is this, some type of psycho road trip?

The camera shifts and we see that the AGENTS and Sheriff are standing outside the Manitoc Savings & Loan.

Sheriff: The second bank, plus that convenience store?

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS: Couple of days ago, they were d*ad. We know about what you know.

Sheriff: Excuse me.

The Sheriff walks away.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Actual serial K*llers.

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS: Crime spree means paperwork. Lots of it. Which you'll be doing.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE's cell phone beeps and he reads a message.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: We gotta go. Winchesters spotted at a Gas n' Sip. It's about a thousand miles from here. That's fast. Must have flown.

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS: That or Batmobile.

EXT. UNLIT HOUSE ON NARROW ROAD – NIGHT

Sam and Dean drive up in the Impala and get out.

Dean: You sure this is the right place?

Sam: Yeah.

They go to the front door and Sam knocks.

Sam: Frank, you in there? Frank?

They open the door.

Sam: Frank?

INT. Frank's HOUSE – NIGHT

Sam and Dean go inside and walk through the house in the dark.

Sam: Frank? Frank, anybody here? Hello? Anybody home?

Someone turns on a lamp. Sam and Dean turn to find Frank sitting in an armchair, pointing a g*n at them.

Frank: Well, well. Spider caught some flies.

INT. Frank's HOUSE – NIGHT

Frank: Well, I'll be darned. Psycho Butch and Sundance. You're on CNN right now.

Sam: No, no, t-that's not us.

Frank: I know. Can't be. Unless you had a teleporter. Do you have a teleporter?

Dean shakes his head.

Sam: No, sir. We don't.

Frank: Well, my condolences on the doppelgangers. Now, who sent you? NSA? The Feeb? March of Dimes?

Dean: Uh, Bobby Singer sent us.

Frank growls, gets to his feet and cocks his w*apon.

Dean: Or not. Who?

Dean holds out his hands placatingly.

Sam: H-he said you could help. He said you owed him, from Port Huron.

After a pause, Frank lowers his w*apon.

Frank: Guy saves your life onetime, and, what, you owe him the rest of yours?

Dean: That's usually how it works, yeah.

Frank points his w*apon at Dean again, then lowers it while making an exasperated noise.

Frank feeds ID cards into a shredder. Sam and Dean look at security footage of their Leviathan doubles, which is playing on several screens.

Frank: Oh, yeah. I know that Bobby's into that magic hooey, but truth is, the government have been cloning people for years. Guess it was just your turn in the barrel.

Sam: Well, actually --

Dean: Forget it. He's rolling.

Frank: Yours have been busy beavers. You're number two on the most wanted list. Quickest climb up the charts since Donna Summer.

Sam: So, what do you think we should do?

Frank: Cuba's nice this time of year.

Dean: No, we're not hiding.

Frank (to Sam): Is he always this stupid?

Dean: Look, we, uh –

Frank turns on some classical music.

Dean: We go to stick around and kick a couple asses. So, we just need you to get us further off the grid, but keep us on the board.

Frank: Well, first thing we got to do is wipe all your old aliases. No more rock shoutouts. It's Tom and John Smith from now on. And no plastic. Cash only. And change your phones on a...

Frank tosses Sam and Dean cell phones.

Frank: ...very frequent non-schedule schedule, you understand? Oh, and try to stay out of view of the 200 million cameras that the government has access to, 'kay?

Dean: 200 million?

Frank: Big Brother, he has many eyeballs, my friend. You see a place that even looks like it can afford security...

Frank takes a laptop out of a bag.

Frank: you just ease on down the road. This... this is your laptop, right?

Sam: Yeah. That's mine.

Frank smashes the laptop against the desk many times.

Sam: What -- gee -- hey -- what are you -- what was that?!

Frank hands Sam a new laptop.

Sam: Uh... Thank you, I guess.

Frank: No problem. You owe me five grand, cash.

Sam: What?

Dean: What?

Frank: Unless you wanna go comparison shop at the mall, sweet cheeks. Say hi to the cops for me. Okay.

Frank grabs Dean by the jacket and pushes him against the wall.

Frank: Let's Blue Steel you up some new I.D., Mr...

Frank takes a picture of Dean.

Frank: ...and Mr...

Frank takes a picture of Sam.

Frank: ...Smith.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – NIGHT

Bobby sh**t CHET with a g*n.

CHET: Whoo! Do it again! Come on, do it again!

Bobby puts the g*n down.

CHET: So you're just gonna touch me in the morning, then just walk away?

Bobby: Are you still talkin'?

CHET: Aren't you sick of this yet?

Bobby: You bleed. Black...snot, sure, but you bleed, you can die.

CHET: Sure, sport, whatever you say. Try the acid again, why don't you? Poor sap. You're stumped.

Bobby: Give it a rest, mouthy.

CHET: How long you think these'll hold once the spell wears off, hmm? Tick tock, old man. I'm gonna really enjoy eating you, right down to that hat.

Bobby: I said shut up.

CHET: And then I'm gonna eat everyone you ever said hello to.

Bobby picks up a machete and cuts off CHET's head.

Bobby: Hot damn. Well, that's somethin'.

INT. Frank's HOUSE – NIGHT

Frank tosses passports and ID in the names of Thomas and John Smith into a cigar box that Dean is holding. He hands Sam a map.

Frank: I marked all the towns your stunt doubles h*t so you can see the pattern.

Sam: All right, great. Um, so, what is the pattern?

Frank: No clue, man. I can't see it.

Sam: Seems random.

Frank: Little tip from a pro -- there is no such thing as a random series of robbery m*rder by your evil twins. Well, have yourself some uppers and look at that some more.

Frank pats Sam on the shoulder.

Frank: Good luck.

Sam: Thanks, Frank.

Frank: For what? Sending you to your death? Your doubles want to be on candid camera, put you in the line of f*re. Now, I'd lay low, 'cause I love life and its infinite mysteries. But you two want to be dumb, that's fine. At least have the common sense to ditch your car.

Dean: Wh -- uh, excuse me -- what?

Frank: Your doublemints -- they're using a car just like the one outside.

[NEWSPAPER: USA TIMES WEEKY [sic]

Headline: k*ller duo still at large

Photographs of Sam and Dean above the caption "#2, FBI's MOST WANTED LIST"

Map of the US with five locations marked]

The camera pans out and we see that the newspaper is at Rufus' cabin.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – DAY

Bobby is taking a bottle out of a brown paper shopping bag. There is a knock at the door. He picks up his g*n, looks through the peephole, smooths his beard and opens the door. JODY MILLS is on the other side.

Bobby: What the... What the hell are you doing here?

JODY MILLS: You're all charm, Bobby.

Bobby: So my therapist keeps telling me. How'd you find me?

JODY MILLS: I'm a cop, remember?

JODY MILLS holds up a plastic bag and a six-pack.

JODY MILLS: You gonna invite me in?

Bobby: Well, you may not want me to. I got one of the big mouths downstairs.

JODY MILLS: So I won't go downstairs.

JODY MILLS enters and looks around.

JODY MILLS: Mm. I, uh...

She puts the bag and six-pack on the table.

JODY MILLS: I wanted to come thank you.

Bobby: Thank me?

JODY MILLS: Well, yeah... Seeing as they were fresh out of "thanks for saving me from liver-eating surgeon" cards at the store.

Bobby: Oh, that. Just doing my job, which nobody pays me for.

JODY MILLS: Right. How you doing, Bobby?

Bobby: I'm fine. Every day is a gift.

JODY MILLS: Your house just b*rned down.

Bobby: As you can see, I got a roof over me.

JODY MILLS: Bobby! Let someone be nice to you for five minutes?

Bobby: Okay. But not toonice. I can't be going soft.

JODY MILLS: 'Course not. I can cook. Ish. You know? Why don't you let me make you something? Maybe put this new place of yours in some kind of order. Come on. I owe you that much.

Bobby: Okay. Thanks, Sheriff.

JODY MILLS: Jody.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby walks downstairs and turns on a light. CHET's head has reattached to his body.

CHET: Did you think it would be that easy?

Bobby: No. But it's a start.

Bobby picks up the machete.

CHET: Ugh.

Bobby cuts off CHET's head again.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

A small, old hatchback is driving down the road.

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

A yellow My Little Pony is dangling from the rear-vision mirror. Dean squeezes it and it squeaks. He takes out a Kn*fe, cuts it down and tosses it into the back seat. It squeaks again as it lands.

Sam: You okay?

Dean: You know, it's bad enough that they're ganking people, wearing our mugs, but now this? Have us driving around in this... this caboodle while Baby's on lockdown.

Sam: It's temporary, Dean.

Dean: Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Sam: Y-you know that's a line from --

Dean: Swayze movie. Swayze always gets a pass!

Sam: Right. Uh, well, you want some tunes or something? Here.

Sam turns on the car radio.

MUSIC: Air Supply's "All Out Of Love"

♪ And what would you say if I called on you now ♪

♪ and said that I can't hold on ♪

Sam looks at Dean.

Sam: Sorry, man, I-I...

Dean: Just leave it. Probably gonna be the only thing on.

♪ There's no easy way, it gets harder each day ♪

♪ Please love me or I'll be gone ♪

♪ I'll be gone ♪

Sam looks at the map Frank gave him and Dean starts to lip-sync along to the music.

♪ I'm all out of love ♪

♪ I'm so lost without you ♪

Sam looks over at Dean.

♪ I know you were right ♪

♪ believing for so long ♪

♪ I'm all out of love ♪

Dean notices that Sam is watching him and stops singing.

♪ What am I without you? ♪

Dean looks away out the driver's side window.

♪ I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong ♪

♪ Oh ♪

Dean starts to lip-sync again.

♪ What are... ♪

Sam looks at him and he stops again.

♪...you thinking of? ♪

Dean moves his head in time with the music.

♪ What are you -- ♪

Sam: Here.

Sam switches off the radio and they sit in silence. Sam studies the map. Jericho is circled.

Sam: Dean.

Dean: What?

Sam: Jericho -- the lady in white.

Black Water Ridge is circled on the map.

Sam: Blackwater -- wendigo. Lake Manitoc -- the kid in the lake.

Dean: They're hitting towns we've worked jobs in.

Sam: In order. Since the day I left Stanford with you.

Dean: So, what, they want us to find them?

Sam: Well, one way to find out -- next case would be in...St. Louis.

Dean: Perfect. Connor's Diner. Best burgers in St. Louis. Oh, I deserve something good in my life right now.

INT. DINER – NIGHT

Dean and Sam appear to be eating at a diner. When Dean speaks, however, it is apparent that they are Dean and Sam's Leviathan doubles.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: You know, he has one of these...

LEVIATHAN!Dean indicates the burger he is eating.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: ...every day. And in his heart, he thinks they're almost as good as sex. This...

LEVIATHAN!Dean puts the burger down on the plate.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: ...is disgusting.

LEVIATHAN!Sam pushes a plate of salad away from him.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: d*ad plants with creAmy goo. It's like eating self-righteousness. I mean, you tell me which is worse.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: I mean, honestly, I just... You know what? I can't stand the guy. Talk about a hero complex. And he doesn't have relationships. No, he has applications for sainthood. Oh, and he thinks he's funny. He thinks he's a damn comedian.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: Who has two thumbs and full-blown bats in the belfry?

LEVIATHAN!Dean points at LEVIATHAN!Sam and LEVIATHAN!Sam points at himself with both thumbs.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: I'm serious. It's nothing but Satan-vision on the inside. I mean, how he's walking around in a jacket with detachable arms is beyond me. You know, I had a brother with this many issues once.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Yeah?

LEVIATHAN!Sam: Know what I did?

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Hmm?

LEVIATHAN!Sam: I ate him.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Of course you did.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: How are these guys even a thr*at?

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Boss says they gotta go, they gotta go.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: Right. Idea. You wanna trade? I mean, I'll take Chuckles over Schizo.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: No, I like this one's hair better. You can stay in the big one.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: All right. In that case, let's turn up the heat. The sooner I get out of this and into something more s*ab, the better.

LEVIATHAN!Dean and LEVIATHAN!Sam start to take out their g*n.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Hold on.

LEVIATHAN!Dean turns and looks at a TEENAGER who is sitting in a booth behind him.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Hey, kid. Hey. Why don't you f*re up the camera on that thing?

LEVIATHAN!Dean points his g*n at the TEENAGER.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Point it over here.

The TEENAGER picks up his smart phone and aims it at LEVIATHAN!Dean.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Shall we?

LEVIATHAN!Sam stands up, raises his g*n and points it at the ceiling.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: All right, everybody be cool! This is a robbery!

The TEENAGER's phone camera records LEVIATHAN!Sam.

LEVIATHAN!Dean gets up onto the counter as LEVIATHAN!Sam points his g*n at various diner patrons.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Anybody moves, and I'll execute every last one of you!

The TEENAGER's phone camera records LEVIATHAN!Sam and LEVIATHAN!Dean.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

The hatchback is driving down the road.

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

Sam is holding a cell phone that is set to speaker.

Bobby (on phone, V-O): Choppin' their heads off won't k*ll 'em, but it'll slow 'em down pretty good. Till they fuse back up, anyhow.

Sam (into phone): Well, that's something, I guess. I mean, assuming we can even get close to them.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – NIGHT

Bobby (on phone): Believe me, I don't want you walking right up to 'em, either. I'm still looking for something you can sh**t at 'em.

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

Dean (into phone, V-O): Good times. All right, thanks, Bobby.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – NIGHT

JODY MILLS is making sandwiches.

JODY MILLS: Hey, you take mayo, right, Bobby?

Bobby nods.

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

Dean (into phone): You got a chick over there?

Bobby (on phone, V-O): What?

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – NIGHT

Bobby (on phone): No.

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

Dean (into phone): Are you even working, Richard Gere?

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – NIGHT

Bobby (on phone): Shut up, you idjit.

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

Dean and Sam smile at each other.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – NIGHT

Bobby (on phone): Where are you boys off to next?

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

Sam (into phone): Uh, St. Louis. That's where we --

Bobby (on phone, V-O): It's too late.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – NIGHT

Bobby (on phone): They h*t St. Louis. Pumpkin-and-Honeybunny'd a diner there.

INT. HATCHBACK – NIGHT

Dean (into phone): Connor's Diner?

Bobby (on phone, V-O): Yeah. How'd you know?

Dean (into phone): Lucky guess. All right, so much for that.

Sam (into phone): I guess we're off to, uh... to Ankeny, Iowa. Call us if you get anything else.

Bobby (on phone, V-O): You got it.

Sam hangs up.

INT. CONNOR's DINER – DAY

SPECIAL AGENTS MORRIS and VALENTE enter. Police are investigating the scene and removing bodies. SPECIAL AGENTS MORRIS and VALENTE hold up their badges to a Police Officer who is sitting at a booth watching the recording on the TEENAGER's phone.

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS: Special Agents Morris, Valente. You were first on the scene?

Police Officer: Unfortunately.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Wanna tell us what happened?

The Police Officer hands the phone to SPECIAL Agent MORRIS, who takes a glove out of his pocket with which to hold it. The Police Officer presses a button to play the recording.

[RECORDING: DINER CUSTOMERS: No! No! [screaming]

LEVIATHAN!Dean, who is standing on the counter, raises his g*n and fires. DINER CUSTOMERS cower on the floor.

LEVIATHAN!Sam approaches the camera.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Keep that up! I didn't say you could put that down! I want the whole world to know what Sam and Dean Winchester are capable of.

LEVIATHAN!Sam points his g*n at a DINER CUSTOMER.

DINER CUSTOMER: No!

There is more g*n.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: That all of 'em?

TEENAGER (V-O): No!

LEVIATHAN!Sam: All but one.

TEENAGER (V-O): No, please, no.

LEVIATHAN!Sam raises his g*n and sh**t the TEENAGER. LEVIATHAN!Sam and LEVIATHAN!Dean get very close to the camera and smile.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Well, goodnight, St. Louis. You've been a wonderful crowd. Grab your socks and hose, Iowa, 'cause we're headed to you next.

LEVIATHAN!Dean and LEVIATHAN!Sam wink.]

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS: We need to alert –

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Federal, state, local -- I'm on it.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby is preparing to electrocute CHET.

CHET: Ooh.

Bobby touches the skin of CHET's arm with his own as he attaches jumper cables to CHET's chains.

CHET (in Bobby's voice): Does this skin make me look fat?

CHET has transformed into a doppelganger of Bobby.

Bobby: Balls.

CHET: It's pretty dark in here. High-school dropout. A drunk like your daddy before you. Oh. You and Dad. Now, that's a can of scorpions. Your favorite singer is Joni frickin' Mitchell? Oh, Bobby. You are 10 pounds of sad in a 5-pound bag.

EXT. STREET IN ANKENY – DAY

Dean and Sam are walking along the street as a black Impala passes them.

Dean: Sam, Sam. Hold up. Don't move. Don't move.

The Impala, which contains LEVIATHAN!Dean and LEVIATHAN!Sam, does a U-turn and parks on the other side of the street. LEVIATHAN!Dean and LEVIATHAN!Sam get out.

Sam: Oh, no. This is all sorts of wrong.

Dean: Those are nice wheels. Tell you what, when this is over, I'm stealing those rims.

Dean takes out his phone and makes a call.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

CHET is still chained to the chair in Bobby's form.

CHET: Tell the kids I said hi.

Bobby (on phone): Yeah.

EXT. STREET IN ANKENY – DAY

Dean (on phone): Bobby, we got eyes on them.

Bobby (on phone, V-O): What?

LEVIATHAN!Dean opens the trunk of the Impala.

Dean (on phone): It's like looking at a funhouse mirror.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby (on phone): Yeah, I know the feeling.

Dean (on phone, V-O): All right, well, tell me...

EXT. STREET IN ANKENY – DAY

Dean (on phone): ...you got something. Otherwise, we're gonna have to get in close.

Dean and Sam walk along the street closer to where the Impala is parked on the other side.

Bobby (V-O): Look, just hang back for now.

Dean (on phone): It's too late. We gotta –

A police car pulls up, siren going.

Dean (on phone): Hang on.

A Sheriff and another officer get out of the police car and the Sheriff points a g*n at Dean.

Sheriff: Hands in the air!

Another siren blares.

Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

A second police car pulls up.

Dean: Big misunderstanding.

The DEPUTIES from the second vehicle are now pointing their g*n at Dean and Sam from behind them.

Dean: Look, the guys you want --

Sheriff: Shut up!

Dean: They're right there.

Sheriff: Shut up! Drop the phone. Put your hands in the air.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby (on phone): Dean?

EXT. STREET IN ANKENY – DAY

Dean puts the phone down.

Bobby (V-O): Dean!

Sheriff: Cuff 'em.

The DEPUTIES behind Dean and Sam put them in handcuffs. Dean looks at LEVIATHAN!Dean, who is back in the driver's seat of the Impala. LEVIATHAN!Dean winks.

EXT. RUFUS' CABIN – DAY

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

CHET is still chained to the chair in Bobby's form. Bobby is pacing the room with a book.

CHET: You know the thing about you, Bobby...

Bobby: Save it. I already know me, handsome.

CHET: You got the gruff thing down. Seen more death than an electric chair. Ready to die with your boots on. But, you know, deep down inside... you're no cynic. You still hope. You even got a thing for that lady upstairs. Tiny part of you thinks, maybe... after this is all done, you and Miss Sheriff can make your own little cabin in the woods.

Bobby closes the book and puts it down. CHET laughs.

CHET: That's hilarious. You're not getting any older than tomorrow, Bobby. Why do you bother?

Bobby picks up the machete.

Bobby: You a Browning fan?

CHET: Come again?

Bobby: Robert Browning. Poet. You got that name rattling around up there with the rest of my thoughts and feelings?

CHET: It's kind of hard to sift through all the drunken blackouts, but --

Bobby: "A man's reach should exceed his grasp."

CHET: I like that. That's actually lovely. Browning? After I eat you, I'm definitely gonna h*t the library.

Bobby raises the machete. A several drops of a liquid fall from the ceiling onto CHET's arm and burn his skin.

CHET: What the hell is that?

The skin on CHET's arm turns yellow, then black, and black steam rises. Another drop falls and CHET's arm continues to burn.

CHET: Get it off. Get it off! Get it off!

Another drop falls.

CHET: Get it off of me!

Another drop falls. CHET's face is now also burning and a large patch on his arm is black.

CHET: Aaargh! Get it off me!

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – DAY

JODY MILLS is on her knees wringing out a cloth into a bucket. She sees Bobby and gets up.

JODY MILLS: Oh, sorry. Little snafu here.

Bobby grabs her face in both hands and kisses her.

JODY MILLS: Mm! Okay, wasn't expecting that reaction.

Bobby: What the hell was in that bucket?

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

Sam and Dean are being escorted in.

Sam: Look, you're making a mistake. The real K*llers are back at the diner, okay?

Sheriff: Is that the best you can do?

Dean: I want my phone call.

Sheriff: Oh, there'll be a call, to the FBI. Take him [indicates Dean]to cell number one. Take that one [indicates Sam]to the interview room. Once they're separate and secure, you boys call it a night.

Sam: You're making a mistake!

EXT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

The two DEPUTIES who handcuffed Sam and Dean leave the building. LEVIATHAN!Dean and LEVIATHAN!Sam watch from their Impala, which is parked across the street. As the officers walk closer,

LEVIATHAN!Dean and LEVIATHAN!Sam get out of the Impala.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

The two DEPUTIES who handcuffed Sam and Dean walk back into the police station. A third Deputy is there.

Deputy 3: What, did you guys forget something or what?

Deputy 1, who handcuffed Sam, walks up behind Deputy 3 and snaps his neck. His face transforms: his mouth enlarges, his teeth become long and jagged, and a long, two-pronged tongue unfurls.

EXT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

The Sheriff walks towards Dean's cell.

Dean: Hey. I have a right to my phone call.

Sheriff: A right? You k*lled how many people last couple days, and you want me to hop-to on your rights?

Dean: I didn't -- please -- just give me one -- one phone call.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby is leaning over CHET's headless, b*rned body, which is still chained to the chair. Bobby's phone rings.

Bobby (on phone): Boys?

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

The Sheriff is holding out a phone outside the cell. Dean speaks into it.

Dean (into phone): Bobby, we got popped.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby (on phone): Okay. I'll be there as soon as --

Dean (on phone, V-O): No, no, there's no time. Look, we saw them...

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

Dean (into phone): They saw us. So, we are coming to get us. You read me? Tell me you got something.

Bobby (on phone, V-O): There's a chemical...

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Close-up of an empty bottle of "Power Clean" containing Borax.

Bobby (on phone): -- sodium borate.

Dean (on phone, V-O): Okay, let me get Mr. Wizard on speed dial.

Bobby (on phone): No, no, it ain't as weird as it sounds.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

Bobby (on phone, V-O): It's found in industrial cleaners...

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby (on phone): ...and soaps and laundry powder. Just look for anything with the word Borax on it.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

Dean (into phone): You want me to "Desperate Housewife" these mothers?

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Bobby (on phone): No, just trust me. It burns 'em bad enough to slow 'em down. So get the...

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

Bobby (on phone, V-O): ...strongest you can find. Hear me?

Dean (on phone): Borax. Burns. Got it.

Bobby (on phone, V-O): Then douse 'em...

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – DOWNSTAIRS – DAY

Close-up of CHET's severed, b*rned head.

Bobby (on phone): ...then get close, and then chop the heads off.

Bobby puts CHET's head into a cardboard box.

Dean (on phone, V-O): Got it.

Bobby (on phone): And keep the heads separate!

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE – NIGHT

Dean (into phone): Bobby, you're a genius. Thanks. I --

The Sheriff snaps the phone closed.

Dean: What'd you do that for?

Sheriff: Borax? Decapitation? What kind of sickos are you and your friends?

The Sheriff starts to walk away.

Dean: Hey, you listen to me.

The Sheriff pauses and turns back to Dean.

Dean: If you don't go get every ounce, every drop of whatever that stuff is in this place right now, we're all gonna die!

Sheriff: Well, you're crazier than I thought.

The Sheriff leaves.

Dean: Hey!

The Sheriff walks towards the office area and sees Deputy 1 leaning over a desk eating Deputy 3. Deputy 2 walks into the room.

Deputy 2: What are you doing?

Deputy 1 straightens up. His face is covered in blood and he is holding a strip of flesh.

Deputy 2: What is your problem? We don't have time for lunch right now.

Deputy 1: I was hungry.

Deputy 2: Later. Let's go.

Deputy 1 transforms into Sam's shape and Deputy 2 transforms into Dean's, and they leave the room.

Dean is sitting in his cell. The Sheriff walks towards the cell.

Dean: What is it? What happened?

Sheriff: I...It's just... I don't know what I just saw.

Dean: Let me out of here. Okay, you listen to me, and we'll live. All right, keep your head down, get to the supply closet. Get anything that says Borax on it -- bring it here. Now. Go.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE INTERVIEW ROOM – NIGHT

Sam is handcuffed to the table. Dean enters.

Sam: Dean!

Sam holds out his handcuffed wrists.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: I'm not your brother. But I am Dean adjacent.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE MAIN OFFICE AREA – NIGHT

Dean takes the g*n belonging to partially-eaten Deputy 3.

Dean: Sorry.

Dean sees what appears to be Sam.

Dean: Sammy.

Dean realizes from Sam's expression that it is LEVIATHAN!Sam.

Dean: Not Sammy.

Dean raises his g*n and sh**t. LEVIATHAN!Sam knocks the g*n out of Dean's hand and throws him into a trophy cabinet.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE INTERVIEW ROOM – NIGHT

LEVIATHAN!Dean: I just want to let you know how much I've really grown to hate you and your brother since we've been wearing you. I just don't get it. You could be anything. You're strong, you're uninhibited.

You're smart enough, believe it or not. But you're so caught up in being good and taking care of each other.

Sam: What do you care?

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Because it pisses me off! You're wasting a perfectly good opportunity to subjugate the weak.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE MAIN OFFICE AREA – NIGHT

Dean gets to his feet and uses his elbow to break the glass on a cabinet containing an emergency axe.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: Cute. Really think you can get close enough to use it?

Dean: Not until you're burning.

The Sheriff tosses liquid from a bucket onto LEVIATHAN!Sam, who starts to sizzle. Black smoke rises from his skin.

LEVIATHAN!Sam: Aargh! Aargh!

Dean cuts off LEVIATHAN!Sam's head. Black liquid spills from his neck.

LEVIATHAN!Dean (V-O): Here's the deal.

INT. ANKENY Sheriff's OFFICE INTERVIEW ROOM – NIGHT

LEVIATHAN!Dean: Dean... thinks you're nutballs. He thinks you're off your game.

Sam: You gonna k*ll me, or is this some sort of "play with your food" bull?

LEVIATHAN!Dean: All right. All right. You know, I guess that's why Dean never told you that he k*lled Amy.

Sam looks at LEVIATHAN!Dean in shock and alarm.

LEVIATHAN!Dean: There it is. The look on your face. That is priceless! That's what I've been waiting for. Now I can eat you. 'Cause, you see, I like my meat a little bitter.

Dean bursts into the room, flings liquid at LEVIATHAN!Dean and cuts off his head with the axe.

Dean: Well, that felt good.

The Sheriff unlocks Sam's handcuffs.

Sheriff: So... the FBI is on the way.

Dean: Yeah, listen, about that...

Sheriff: Whatever I can do... Especially if it involves lying about everything I just saw.

Dean: Good. I was hoping you could help us kind of...be d*ad. You know, quote unquote.

Sheriff: Yeah. Yeah, I should be able to swing that. All right.

Dean: Come on, let's grab a mop.

Dean starts to leave the room, but pauses when he sees that Sam hasn't moved.

Dean: Sammy? You okay?

Sam looks at Dean briefly and nods, then looks away.

Sam: Yeah, I'm fine.

Dean: Let's go.

Dean leaves as Sam continues to sit at the table.

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

Sheriff: That's when I got the drop on them and sh*t them both.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: You did good, Sheriff.

CORONER: Here's the files. Cause of death -- multiple g*n wounds. I fingerprinted them first, of course, for your records.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Mind if we take a look at the bodies?

Sheriff: Their bodies were sent to the funeral home for cremation, as per their living wills and religious requirements.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Wow. That must be some kind of record. They died last night.

Sheriff: You can contact the funeral home. They might still have the bodies. As you know, once we do the autopsy, we're obliged to release --

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS: You had the bodies desTroyed? What kind of backwater operation is this?

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Hey! Easy. Forget about it. No bodies, no paperwork, right? Someone once told me that was a good thing. The good news still stands. This case is closed. Sam and Dean Winchester are d*ad.

SPECIAL Agent MORRIS hands the files back to the CORONER and the AGENTS leave.

INT. RUFUS' CABIN – GROUND LEVEL – DAY

Reporter ON TELEVISION: The Winchester crime spree has come to a violent end in Iowa, where they were g*n down.

Bobby turns off the television. JODY MILLS is putting on her jacket.

JODY MILLS: That should take the heat off.

Bobby: For now. Thanks, Jody. Couldn't have done it without you.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Anytime you need me to spill something else, you give me a call.

Bobby: Actually, there is one more thing.

Bobby steps very close to JODY MILLS, who smiles at him. After a pause, he holds up a finger and goes to get the cardboard box. JODY MILLS picks up her purse. Bobby hands the box to JODY MILLS.

Bobby: Don't open it. Even if it starts talking. Especially if it starts talking. When you cross over Underhill Bridge, just toss it in the drink. If you'll excuse me, I, um...I got a body to bury in cement.

Bobby kisses JODY MILLS on the cheek.

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

The CORONER is taking a Sample from one of the Leviathan bodies.

CORONER: Dad, seriously? Lying to the FBI, incinerating bodies, and this stuff? What the hell is it? 'Cause it sure isn't blood.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE appears in the doorway.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: You're right about that, sweetie. It's much more than blood.

Sheriff: I can explain.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE: Don't bother.

SPECIAL Agent VALENTE's face transforms and he rushes at the Sheriff and CORONER. Blood splatters the walls.

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE, whose face is covered with blood, unzips one of the body bags containing the Leviathans. He sighs, takes out his phone and makes a call.

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE (on phone): It's Valente.

Yes, sir, I'm with them now.

Well, unfortunately, their heads are... missing.

EXT. OUTSIDE OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

A Man IN SUIT, who is speaking on his phone, leaves the building.

Man IN SUIT (on phone): Huh! But the actual Winchesters are d*ad, yes?

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE (on phone): No, sir. They're in the wind.

EXT. OUTSIDE OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

Man IN SUIT (on phone): So, all that brainpower, all those resources, and those two field mice are still on my to-do list?

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE (on phone): I'm sorry, sir. We could grab some more DNA and double them again.

Man IN SUIT (on phone, V-O): I like where your head's at...

EXT. OUTSIDE OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

The Man IN SUIT is walking towards a limousine.

Man IN SUIT (on phone): ...but sometimes less is more. Those boys coming back from the d*ad again starts to strain credulity...

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

Man IN SUIT (on phone, V-O): ...even for the American media, am I right?

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE (on phone): Yes, sir.

EXT. OUTSIDE OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

Man IN SUIT (on phone): I like a subtler approach. Back to the vision board on this one.

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE (on phone): Of course.

Man IN SUIT (on phone, V-O): Just secure the bodies and...

EXT. OUTSIDE OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

The Man IN SUIT is now standing next to the limousine.

Man IN SUIT (on phone): ...get back to the FBI, and we'll give this Winchester situation a good think.

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE (on phone): Definitely. Thanks, sir.

Man IN SUIT (on phone, V-O): And, Valente?

EXT. OUTSIDE OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

Man IN SUIT (on phone): Next time, call me with a win. For your sake. Please don't make me bib you.

INT. CORONER's OFFICE – DAY

LEVIATHAN!SPECIAL Agent VALENTE (on phone): Yes, sir.

The Man IN SUIT nods to the LIMOUSINE DRIVER.

Man IN SUIT: I'm craving a latte. You mind running across the street before we h*t the trail? Decaf, two pumps of vanilla...

The Man IN SUIT hands the LIMOUSINE DRIVER some bills.

Man IN SUIT: ...and grab yourself whatever you want -- my treat.

INT. LIMOUSINE – DAY

The Man IN SUIT gets into the limousine and picks up a newspaper.

CROWLEY: Mr. Roman.

CROWLEY has materialized inside the limousine. He is holding something covered with a towel on his lap.

CROWLEY: I felt it was time we met in person. I'm Crowley. I run Hell.

MR ROMAN: Yes, yes. Of course. I agree, 100%. High time we met.

CROWLEY uncovers the basket he is holding. It contains muffins.

CROWLEY: A token.

MR ROMAN: You shouldn't have. I love a muffin.

CROWLEY: 100% organic baby uvulas -- gluten free.

MR ROMAN: So considerate.

CROWLEY slides the muffins over to MR ROMAN.

CROWLEY: I'll cut to the chase, Mr. Roman.

MR ROMAN: Please. Dick.

CROWLEY: Dick. You and I control large interests that I feel strongly could meld, to the benefit of all.

DICK ROMAN: You think?

CROWLEY: I know. Straight talk -- we should be friends, you and I.

DICK ROMAN: Why? Why in the world would we be?

CROWLEY: Well, I brought you here... Dick. I found the way to open the door to Purgatory.

DICK ROMAN: To steal every last soul, you mean. You and that angel friend of yours. Don't roofie me and call it romance.

CROWLEY: I think you've got me wrong.

DICK ROMAN: Now it's your turn to listen. I'd sooner swim through hot garbage than shake hands with a bottom-feeding mutation like you. You demons are ugly, lazy, gold-digging whores. You're less than humans, and they're not good for much till you dip 'em in garlic sauce. I'd never work with you, Crowley. In fact, if I wasn't busy with better things, I might actively wipe your kind from the face of the Universe. And you'd deserve it. Are we clear?

CROWLEY: Keep the muffins.

CROWLEY vanishes.

EXT. PIER – DAY

Dean opens the trunk of the hatchback, in which is a canvas bag and the My Little Pony. He unzips the bag, which contains the two Leviathan heads wrapped in plastic. Dean sighs.

Dean: Are you sure you want to dump these things? I'm thinking they might actually come in handy down the road. What do you think?

Sam, who is leaning with his arms on the roof of the hatchback, doesn't reply.

Dean: Hey. What? What is it? Talk.

Sam: Nothing.

Dean: Well, that's convincing. Did monster-us give you the jeebs, huh? 'Cause I gotta be honest -- I ain't looking in the mirror for -- for a while myself.

Sam straightens up and turns to face Dean.

Sam: Okay. You really want to know what's wrong?

Dean: Yeah. Yeah, you know my motto -- here to help.

Sam: "Here to help." Kind of like you helped Amy?

Dean: Listen, Sam...

Sam: Don't -- don't lie to me again. No, don't even talk to me. Yeah, I can't.

Sam opens the rear passenger door of the hatchback and takes something out.

Sam: You know what, Dean?

Sam starts to walk away.

Sam: I can't.

Dean takes a few steps towards Sam.

Dean: You can't what?

Sam: I can't talk to you right now! Dean...

Sam turns to face Dean. He is carrying two bags.

Sam: I can't even be around you right now!

Dean: Okay, so --

Sam: I think you should just go on without me.

There is a long pause. Dean nods.

Sam: Go.

Dean: All right. Sorry, Sam.

Dean turns back to the car and Sam walks away.

END
{"type": "series", "show": "Supernatural", "episode": "07x06 - Slash Fiction"}