TERROR of the ZYGONS

By ROBERT BANKS-STEWART

EPISODE 3

First transmitted : 13 September, 1975
5:45pm - 6:10pm

ZYGON: The target reciprocator is d*ad, Commander.

BROTON: Yes, and we have lost visual contact. The reciprocator was attached to the Doctor, so he too must be d*ad. Excellent. Recall the Skarasen and take that creature away.

McRANALD: What are you all doing here?

BENTON: Brigadier's orders, Mister McRanald. We're looking for bugs.

McRANALD: Oh, bugs, is it. Well, you can tell your Brigadier from me that this is a clean house.

BENTON: Yes, well, it's not that sort of bug we were looking for. Microphones?

McRANALD: Ach, you're all mad. Who'd be hiding microphones here?

BENTON: Yes, well, you'd better ask the Brigadier that.

McRANALD: Here, now mind what you're doing with that bedwarmer. It's said to belong to the Duke of Cumberland.

BENTON: Yeah, we believe you. Jackson, check the window area, will you?

McRANALD: Sergeant Major, you're all wasting your time.

BENTON: Yes, well, you never know, so if you don't mind, we'll carry on looking.

McRANALD: Here in Tullock we don't need any clever contraptions to tell us what people are up to. Everybody knows everybody else's business. It's a matter of principle.

BENTON: Yes, and you in advance with your second sight, eh?

McRANALD (on monitor): Don't touch that. It was a gift from the Duke of Forgill.

BENTON (on monitor): All right, all right, Mister McRanald. Keep your hair on.

BROTON: Have that monitor link removed.

ZYGON: Immediately, Commander.

SARAH: Doctor! Hey! Hey, you all right?

DOCTOR: Yes. The cyborg overstepped its mark, luckily for me.

BRIGADIER: Cyborg? Then you identified the creature?

DOCTOR: Cyborg is a hybrid creature, Brigadier. Half animal, half machine. Must be very interesting.

BRIGADIER: Who, the cyborgs?

DOCTOR: No, whoever's controlling them. Did you locate their base?

SARAH: The signal seemed to be coming from Loch Ness, Doctor, if that's possible.

DOCTOR: Yes, it is possible. Ready, Brigadier?

BRIGADIER: Ready for what?

DOCTOR: To visit the Duke. We're going to Forgill Castle.

DOCTOR: Shop!

BRIGADIER: Your Grace? I really don't think we should just walk in unannounced.

DOCTOR: Well, there's nobody to announce us, is there.

SARAH: Most of the staff have left and gone to work for the oil company. I can't say I blame them.

DOCTOR: My family has served this country for seven centuries, but that seems not to count these days. Ah, there you are.

FORGILL: Perhaps you'll explain this intrusion?

DOCTOR: Nobody opened the front door.

FORGILL: I see. You have some reason for calling?

DOCTOR: Yes.

FORGILL: Well?

DOCTOR: Brigadier?

BRIGADIER: Yes?

DOCTOR: Well, tell him.

BRIGADIER: Oh, yes. Er, well sir, the fact is.

FORGILL: The fact is what?

BRIGADIER: We have reason to believe there's something rather unusual in the Loch.

FORGILL: Loch Ness?

BRIGADIER: Yes, sir.

FORGILL: Don't tell me you've found the monster.

SARAH: As it happens, your Grace, that's just what we do mean.

FORGILL: I do believe you're serious.

DOCTOR: We are. Very.

FORGILL: Depth charges?

BRIGADIER: With your Grace's permission, as you own part of the shoreline.

FORGILL: You can't explode depth charges in Loch Ness.

BRIGADIER: I'm afraid it's the only answer, sir. This creature must be destroyed.

FORGILL: Doctor, are you a party to this militaristic nonsense?

DOCTOR: I'm not a party to any kind of nonsense, your Grace.

FORGILL: There's no proof. There never has been any actual proof that the monster exists.

SARAH: Of course it exists. It chased the Doctor half across Tullock Moor.

BRIGADIER: And we believe it's been destroying these oil rigs.

FORGILL: Loch Ness is seven miles from the coast. Are you suggesting it walks overland without being seen?

DOCTOR: An underground river.

FORGILL: No, Doctor. Loch Ness is fifty feet above sea level.

DOCTOR: I know, your Grace. I know. But there's a subterranean channel leading from Loch Ness to the Devil's Punchbowl, a small loch near the village. It's near the sea and would make a useful back door for the monster, wouldn't you say?

FORGILL: I've never heard such nonsense. Are you seriously suggesting that the creature commutes between here and the North Sea whenever it feels like it?

DOCTOR: Whenever it's ordered to. We know it's controlled by a signal system.

FORGILL: Controlled? By whom?

DOCTOR: Aliens.

FORGILL: Whom?

BRIGADIER: I know it sounds improbable, sir, but we do have evidence.

FORGILL: Improbable? It's utterly, totally absurd. Aliens?

BRIGADIER: I know exactly how you feel, sir. Before I joined UNIT, I was highly sceptical about these things.

FORGILL: You're all utterly unhinged. Must be. Aliens with wireless sets?

DOCTOR: Well, it takes all sorts to make a galaxy, your Grace.

McRANALD: Oh, hello, Sister Lamont. It's a while since we've seen you. How are you?

LAMONT: Never better, Mister McRanald. What are you doing?

McRANALD: Well, the English soldier reckoned they were being bugged, and sure enough I think I've found it, though how on Earth anybody could have fixed this here.

BENTON: Get your r*fles, men, and quickly.

BENTON: Okay, hold it.

BENTON: Okay, come on. Okay men, spread out quietly. Contact the Brigadier. Tell him we've got one of these aliens trapped.

SOLDIER: Sir.

FORGILL: Half these books are devoted to the subject of the monster. There've been reported sightings since the Middle Ages. Now you're saying that aliens have been living under the loch for centuries?

DOCTOR: Yes, I'm saying exactly that.

BRIGADIER: Then why have they suddenly become aggressive?

SARAH: Something to do with the oil, perhaps?

DOCTOR: Not perhaps, yes. For hundreds of years the monster's been able to cross Tullock Moor unseen. Then the oil company built a base right in its path

FORGILL: Absolute fantasy.

DOCTOR: Causing it to make a detour round the village, which is why its masters released nerve gas and why you went to sleep, Brigadier.

FORGILL: Forgill.

BRIGADIER: Well, it still doesn't seem a good enough reason to start attacking oil rigs, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Well, perhaps not in itself, maybe, but their plans may have changed recently. Who knows?

FORGILL: Lethbridge Stewart.

BRIGADIER: Yes? Oh, thank you.

BRIGADIER: Yes? Oh, they have? Splendid. Where? Right, we'll come over straight away. Benton's got one of those creatures cornered, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Good. Task for you, Sarah.

SARAH: Yes?

DOCTOR: Do you mind if my assistant looks through your library?

FORGILL: Not at all.

SARAH: Listen, you. Stop trying to keep me out of things.

DOCTOR: Not so, Sarah. You might find a valuable lead. I want you to check any reference to McRanald Bay and Devil's Punchbowl.

FORGILL: I'll see you out.

BRIGADIER: Thank you, sir. Good hunting, Miss Smith.

SARAH: Why do I always get the dirty jobs?

SOLDIER: Sister, what are you doing here?

LAMONT: I was told somebody had been injured.

SOLDIER: Not injured, k*lled.

LAMONT: k*lled? Who?

SOLDIER: Angus, the landlord. Hey, you've hurt yourself.

LAMONT: It's not important.

SOLDIER: Let me see.

BRIGADIER: The nursing sister?

BENTON: Yes, sir. Seen driving off. The man that was clobbered didn't know these creatures could change.

BRIGADIER: And neither did this poor fellow, apparently.

BRIGADIER: Pity he didn't tell us what he was up to.

DOCTOR: Obviously, he was bug hunting.

BRIGADIER: Sorry, I'm not with you.

DOCTOR: Haven't you noticed? This is where it was hidden, do you see.

DOCTOR: Forgill brought this down, didn't he?

BENTON: The Duke?

BRIGADIER: Doctor, you're not suggesting his Grace is involved in this?

DOCTOR: Why not? We know that these creatures can change. He may not be the real Duke.

BRIGADIER: Great Scott. And we left Miss Smith alone at the castle.

SARAH: Oh, what are those large books up there?

FORGILL: Monastic records. There has been a monastery on this site from the eleventh century onwards.

SARAH: Really? Can I have a look?

FORGILL: Certainly.

FORGILL: I trust you can read medieval Latin?

SARAH: Oh, that's a point. Er, have you never sighted this monster yourself?

FORGILL: That would be impossible. It doesn't exist.

SARAH: Yet there are all these books on the subject.

FORGILL: There is no limit to human credulity, Miss Smith.

CABER: Your Grace.

FORGILL: Ah, Caber. Our young guest is delving into the mysteries of the past. Fetch her the steps, would you?

CABER: Very good, your Grace.

SARAH: Caber. An unusual name.

FORGILL: It's a nickname. He's a Highland Games champion. I doubt that you'd be able to pronounce his real name. It's very Gaelic.

SARAH: No, I don't suppose I could.

FORGILL: Now, if you'd excuse me.

SARAH: Of course. Thank you for being so kind.

FORGILL: Not at all.

SARAH: Just there, please. Can't reach.

CABER: She must have gone into the ship.

FORGILL: She's more intelligent than I thought. We'll take Orla below and alert the crew. The girl must be found and destroyed.)

SARAH: Harry!

HARRY: Sarah! Well, come on, open the door. Look, Sarah, we've got to get out of here. Look, sorry. Put your hand on the panel.

SARAH [through door]: Is it you?

HARRY: What do you mean, is it me?

SARAH [through door]: Is it really you?

HARRY: Well of course it is. What on Earth's the matter with you, old girl?

SARAH: Do you realise

HARRY: I'm glad to see you because

SARAH: (quietly) Someone's coming.

CABER: Soon we shall revert to our normal form.

LAMONT: Good. I loathe this abomination of a body.

HARRY: (quietly) All clear. I think they've gone.

SARAH: (quietly) Well, let's find the Doc and Brig fast.

SARAH: (quietly) Harry!

SARAH: (quietly) Come on.

DOCTOR: Sarah?

BRIGADIER: The place is deserted.

DOCTOR: Something's happened.

BRIGADIER: Wait a minute. Blood.

SARAH: Brigadier! We've found the aliens. They've got a spaceship under the loch.

HARRY: We're going to need reinforcements, sir.

SARAH: And that's not all. The Duke we met is an imposter. He's one of them!

DOCTOR: Is he?

SARAH: Doctor!

HARRY: Hello.

DOCTOR: What about you two?

HARRY: What do you mean, what about us two?

DOCTOR: It's nice to see you. Does this lead to the spaceship?

SARAH: Well, yes, but be careful!

BRIGADIER: Oh, come on, Doctor. There's no time to lose.

DOCTOR (OOV.): AAARGHHHH!

BROTON: Make one move and the Doctor dies.

BRIGADIER: What the devil are they?

HARRY: They, sir, are Zygons.

SARAH: What have you done to the Doctor?

BROTON: Nothing as yet. We are leaving, and taking him with us.

HARRY: You told me your spaceship was crippled, Broton. You said you could never return to your planet.

BROTON: Instead, we shall become the ruler of yours. Destroying the oil rigs was only the beginning, a trial of strength for the Skarasen. The big event is yet to come.

SARAH: The switch, it's here somewhere.

HARRY: What do we do now, sir?

BRIGADIER: Don't worry, Sullivan. We're not beaten yet.

BENTON: Load!

BENTON: Standing by, sir.

BRIGADIER: Thank you, Mister Benton.

SARAH: What about the Doctor?

BRIGADIER: I know, Miss Smith. We'll explode the first couple high. That'll bring them to the surface. Get on with it, Mister Benton!

BENTON: f*re!

DOCTOR: Sounds like the Brigadier.

BROTON: We're att*cked! Prepare for flight.

BRIGADIER: And another.

BENTON: Load! f*re!

BROTON: Report.

ZYGON: Main systems functional.

BROTON: Maximum range?

ZYGON: Seven hundred Earth miles.

BRIGADIER: At least they'll know we mean business.

BROTON: Activate dynacon thrust.

DOCTOR: Going somewhere, are we?

SARAH: Brigadier, listen.
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who", "episode": "13x03 - Terror of the Zygons - part 3"}