Jason: All right, anybody for seconds of the fish sticks?

Maggie: No, no, thank you.I'm full.

Jason: All right, Boner, how about thirds?

Boner: Oh, you know me, Doctor Seaver.

Maggie: Jason, We have to drop Ben at the Sullivan's on the way to the dance.

Ben: Me and stinky get a camp in his garage in a tent.

Jason: Hey, that sounds like a fun.

Mike: Look, I still don't see why you guys have to chaperone this dance tonight.

Maggie: Because we said we would.

Mike: Oh, Who needs Chaperones?I mean Dewey High dances are boring nerd festivals.

Carol: Oh, Debbie and Shirley.We're riding to the dance together.

Mike: Like I said.

Carol: Shut up, Mike.

Maggie: Mike, if these dances are so bad, why do you always go?

Mike: Because the one time that I don't, something great is going to happen.

Boner: Yeah, like girls getting into fight, ripping each other's clothes off.

Maggie: Ben, promise me you won't do anything embarrassing at the Sullivan's tonight.

Ben: Mom, you can't do anything embarrassing when you are with a kid named Stinky.

Maggie: All right.

Jason: See you there, Andy.

Andy: Drive carefully, Doctor Seaver.

Maggie: Bye, Andy.

Andy: Couldn't talk the old stiffs out if this, huh?

Mike: No, not a chance.

Andy: Mike, let's forget this dance.It's going to be a zero, you know that.

Boner: It's the fish talking.

Carol: I just want to say how much I appreciated you guys going with me to my first dance, well since I broke up with, with my guy.

Debbie: His name is Bobby.

Carol: I remember his name.

Shirley: And don't worry, I now for a fact Bobby won't be there.

Carol: Oh, great.

Shirley: I heard he is dating a college girl now.

Carol: Thanks.

Shirley: Anyway, we're happy that you are back in the single life again with us.

Debbie: Eating between-meals.

Shirley: Looking for guys with buns so tight you could bounce quarters off them.

Carol: Maybe I am not ready for this.

Debbie: Not ready?Carol, you've got to get on the business of living.

Shirley: And that includes going to dumb dances, and get groped in the dark by guys with major zits and bad breath.

Debbie: Adolescent jerks pressing their sweaty swelling bodies against ours.

Debbie: Ready, That's all.

Shirley: Ready Girls?

Mike: Ladies.You all looking very hot tonight.

Right, Andy?

Andy: Red hot, right, Boner?

Boner: Two of them do.

Mike: Ah, he is such a kidder.Anyway, we were wondering since Andy only has a two seater, ifBoner can get a lift with you guys to the dance.

Shirley: Sure if he doesn't mind riding in the trunk.

Boner: Oh, do you mean it?

Jason: Have fun, Ben.

Maggie: Don't forget to change your underwear.

Ben: Bye, see you in the morning.Tonight, I boogie.

Stinky: Ben?

Ben: Stinky?

Stinky: Shh, my mom thinks I'm staying in your house, remember?

Ben: Of course, I remember, it's my plan.

Stinky: You're ready?

Ben: Heck, yeah!This is going to be the night we become men.

Ben: Let's go.

Jason: Now that kind of takes you back, doesn't it?

Maggie: Well say.I remember this one home coming dance, there was this lame DJ with these tacky clothes.I mean, I cannot begin to describe how silly he was, he had...

DJ: Hey, Mommio, Daddio!Yeah- you!Where do I get my juice, my essence, power?

Jason: Well, come in, the plug is there back.Excuse me, do you work here?

Old Man: No, keys are my hobby.

Maggie: This man needs to plug something in.

Old Man: Back stage.

DJ: Gracias, Dude!

Old Man: Ah, kids

Jason: We were looking for the other chaperone.

Old Man: I bet you are.

Maggie: We figured there'd be other parents here.

Old Man: Well, maybe there will be.

Jason: What about teachers?

Old Man: Might be some of those too, I don't know.

Jason: So are you saying that...

DJ: That's right, kids it's your mommy and daddies worst night, the wailing wailer.Welcome Dewey hooters and hooterettes to Motown Night!I've got tunes, I say I've got tunes that'll your brain, and make you Marvin Gaye!

Andy: You said you had a feeling that something big was going to happen.

DJ: Let's kick it off with a cut from some dear close personal friends of mine, Martha and and the Vandellas are giving you a warning!

Shirley: Ok, girls, let's synchronize our watches.

Carol: Shirley, why did you park in dark, I mean there was a place right under the street light.It's safer.

Shirley: Exactly.

Carol: But I just don't understand.

Debbie: Carol, pick the word that doesn't belong, dance, dude, neck, lights

Carol: Well, they're all nouns.

Shirley and Debbie: Oh...

Carol: Wow.

Andy: Now, this is big.

Ben: I promise you, stinky, nothing is going to stop us from getting there.

Stinky: Do you hear that?

Ben: I didn't hear nothing.

Stinky: Let's go back.

Ben: Stinky, We are going to where no kid has gone before.We are coming out of there rich men.

Stinky: But I hear people get k*lled there.

Ben: Don't be such a scaredy-cat.

Ben: I see that.

Stinky: I don't see nothing.

Koosman: Ben?It's Koosman, what are you doing out so late?What are you doing hugging that little boy?You guys are pretty far from home for this late at night.Better get in.

Ben: Yeah, we'll...go.

Jason: Go ahead, What?What?Break them up.You do it, Maggie.

Maggie: Jason, you do it.

Jason: I couldn't do it no, I'd feel arkward.

Maggie: How would you feel if that was her?

Jason: Hey, hey, hey, come up for air, will you pal?Ha, I cannot believe I just did that.I used to hate parents that did that.

Maggie: I still do.

DJ: All right, do easy, Dewettes, let's get completely crazy and find out who is who.And they call me -dig it- the wailer...

DJ: What's your name?

Dancing Girl: Latoya.

Carol: This is going to be fun.

Debbie: Please.Let's dust this place, go to a burger joint, and not eat anything

Carol: Go?

Carol: But you said it was important to come to this dance!

Debbie: It was?We did, and now we're out of here.

Shirley: Oh, here comes a that goofus-oid Robin Rossman.

Robin Rossman: Carol, would you like to dancer?

Carol: Oh, that'll be great.

Shirley: Sorry, the girls all booked up.

Carol: I am?

Shirley: You are.

Robin Rossman: Thanks anyway.

Carol: Why did you do that?

Debbie: Because someones got to see you don't make a fool out of yourself.

Shirley: Even if you don't care about your image, at least think about ours.

Carol: I was just going to dance with the guy.

Debbie: Major dudes at three o'clock.

Shirley: Men are such phony pigs.

Debbie: All they care about is girls' hair, makeup and bra size.

Andy: Mike, Mike, Mike, You were right, about something big happening.

Mike: Yeah?

Andy: There is Rita Sabatini.She is the only girl in the entire school who is president of the Latin Club.

Mike: Oh, funny.

DJ: Hey, what's your name?

Boner: Boner...

DJ: Boner ..Boner...

DJ: what's your name?

Boner: Tell him, Mikey.

DJ: Mikey...Mikey.

Andy: I don't know about that, I thought that was pretty special.

Mike: Well, it's the last time I said.

Andy: All right!

Boner: Yeah, I was almost out of fish sticks, anyway.

Andy: You brought 'em with you?

Boner: Don't worry, I brought breath-mints, too!

Mike: Lord, have mercy!

Andy: Mikey, we out of here or what?Mike, yo... fun?

Ben: Bye, Thanks again, Mr.Koosman.Mr.

Kooseman: My pleasure, boys.

Stinky: Bye.

Ben: Hush..!

Stinky: Relax, I'll handle this!

Ben: Shut up, Stinky.We'll make it.We got to!Well, the bus, perfect.

Stinky: Is this the bus going the way we are going?

Ben: Trust me, Stinky.I know all the stops.Hey, I got this far, didn't I?We're on the way now,Stinky.

Stinky: Thought you knew the stops.

Ben: I know this one.

Stinky: "Trust me, Stinky, Trust me".

Ben: Well, we'll still make it.I mean, you've got a bike, don't you?

Stinky: Sure mine and my sister's.

Ben: Ok, I'll take yours and you can take your...

Stinky: Hey...I don't ride girl's bikes.

Ben: Listen, I am only going to say this once.You can stay if you want, but I am going to that secret place.That's right, tell everybody at school, and I don't want nobody to call me weeny, do you, Stinky?

Stinky: Weeny would be an improvement.

Ben: I didn't bring my bankroll just to wimp out at the last minute.Are you a man or a little girl?

Stinky: A man.

Ben: Ok, then, grab your sister's bike, and let's roll.

Andy: First you want to stay, then you want to split, now you want to stay again?

Mike: I've got to take my sh*t at Lidiya.

Andy: Michael, This is Lidiya Shane, head of the Drill team, home-coming princess and property of the very large Mr.Bushnell Narosky.I say you got no sh*t here.

Mike: Bushnell and Lidiya broke up exactly 2 weeks ago tonight.Precisely 8:46 pm.So the waiting period is officially over in 9 minutes.

Andy: You do keep track of these things.

Mike: Just got out of here.That's why she is here all alone tonight.

Andy: Seaver, you are something.

Mike: No, Man, she is something.That's something special I had a feeling about.Man, I have had my eyes on her since I first saw her, Shake her pom-pons.I said something big is going to happen, but I had no idea it was going to be this big.

Boner: Bo...Boner...

Mike: See, Boner is having a good time.

Andy: Yeah.Hey don't forget to wash your hand.

Boner: All right.What's your name?

Carol: I still don't understand why you didn't want me to dance with Robin Rossman.I have known him since the second grade.He is in the chess club.He is...

Shirley: Carol, Trust me.These dances are something you missed, because you went directly from from being d*ad to going steady.

Carol: you have a Is...

Debbie: Give me a minute, Ok?

Carol: So I am not supposed to dance with anybody?

Shirley: You are not supposed to dance with just anybody.

Debbie: Well, what do you think?

Carol: Then your shoulders used to be higher?

Debbie: Have you ever heard a guy say "look at the set of shoulders on that one?".

Carol: Well, no, but...

Maggie: Jason, you promised Mike.

Jason: Ok!

Maggie: Jason?I am not dancing, I am shaking my waists.

Mike: And...Mark!Lidiya Shane is fair game.Ok, Go!Go!Go!

Andy: Go go go.

Boner: How Mike could do it without doubt!

DJ: Alright, if you can't shove that last toe-tapper, You are really going to groove now, 'cause this dance is -ladies choice!

Shirley: Let's go, there's three of them and the three of us.

Carol: You guys are actually goin to dance at this dance?

Debbie: Isn't that why we're here.?Hi, Dudes, you want to..

Diz: Sorry, we're all booked up.

Debbie: Thanks anyway.

Shirley: Sorry, we're all booked up.Have you ever heard anything so rude?

Debbie: Have you ever seen a bigger couple of phonies?

Shirley: Nice, Carol, Nice.

Boner: Hi, there.

Carol: Hi, Boner.How comes you're not dancing?

Boner: I am

Carol: I mean with somebody.

Boner: Well, I don't know.

Boner: Why don't you?

Carol: No reason.

Mike: Lady's choice, I was close enough to smell her perfume.

Rita: Hi, Andy, hi, Mike.

Andy: Rita Sabatini, how the heck is Latin club?

Rita: I quit.I am trying a different tongue.So How comes you guys aren't dancing?

Mike: Well, we can never decide who gets to lead.

Andy: Michael, you are being paged.

Mike: Me?Yes...

Andy: Ah, Boy, that Seaver sure is something, isn't he?

Rita: Yeah, so you want to dance?

Andy: I was going to, but this was lady's choice.Oh, oh, oh, yeah, sure.

Rita: Ok.

Boner: The jerk, you know how?

Carol: No.

Boner: Just do what I do, that's it.

Carol: yeah.

Boner: Now I'm looking at a perfect jerk.

Carol: Oh, Thanks.

Maggie: So, you want to dance?

Jason: No.

Maggie: Come on.

Jason: OK.

Maggie: No, behind the group.

DJ: OU...

Jason: What's wrong?

DJ: Twitch back, goes out on me all the time, what is cool.I'm feeling no pain.

Jason: All right, I am a doctor.

DJ: Get out of town, dude!I need my Chiropractor!

Maggie: Is there anything I can do the help?

DJ: Yeah, keep the music going, baby, or I'm out of a gig.

Maggie: But I don't know how to...

Jason: Oh, honey.It shouldn't be too difficult to do, no offence.

Maggie: Sorry.

Carol: Now, I have to transfer to another school.

Boner: Well, that is good.Just give her a chance.and you see.

Mike: Andy, Lidiya is amazing.

Andy: She should be illegal.What did she say when you asked her out?

Mike: Well, I haven't actually talked to her yet, but see, the body language out there was just so good.I figure why mess it up with actual words.

Andy: Well you know Mike, you're not the only one.You know Rita is a lot more interesting and mature, bilingual.

Mike: Yeah.

Andy: Well, I don't want to brag or anything, I think...

Mike: I know what you think.Ha...

Boner: Gentlemen?

Mike and Andy: What?

Boner: Well, since you asked, I am doing quite well for myself this evening.Thanks very much.

Mike: Yeah?Which one, the redhead?

Boner: No, the Brunette over there.

Mike: The only Brunette I see over there is Carol.

Boner: I think she kind of likes me.

Mike: You danced with my sister?

Mike: Ewww.What have you been thinking?

Andy: After telling Mike all those things that you expect from a girl, now you got the nerve to tell me you got the hots for his sister?

Boner: No hots, just dance.

Mike: Why did you dance with Carol when there are real girls here to dance with, eh?

Boner: We were just dancing, having a good time.I felt sorry for her.

Mike: Knock if off, Man.It gives me the creeps, you got it?

Boner: I got it.

Carol: Well, we were just...

Shirley: things are not just done.

Debbie: And Boner is one of them.

Shirley: What's the deal here?

Debbie: What were you thinking?

Shirley: yeah.

Carol: We were just having a good...I guess... I felt sorry for him.

Mike: Excuse me, I believe you are saving this dance for me.We haven't officially actually met yet.My name is Mike.

Lidiya: I know that, I am Lidiya.

Mike: That's great, how do you do that?

Lidiya: How can I do what?So you want to dance more, or do you want to talk?

Mike: Dance.

Boner and Carol: Oh!I've been feeling kind of tired.

Boner and Carol: What?

Boner and Carol: Maybe later we could just... Yeah.

Boner and Carol: Yeah.

Ben: So what the hecks going happen with all these people anyway?Willl, Mike finds something to do with the girl with that weird voice.I should have known.Will Carol get the nerve to dance with boner again?Or even the other way around?

Jason: Well do you want to dance with this girl?

Boner: Well it was the only time I was having fun all night.

Ben: Will Dad get the chance to play DJ too which is really what he'd rather be than a psychiatrist.

Jason: It's just traditionally a man is traditionally the best person for the job of DJ.

Maggie: Jason, it's too bad you're not married to guy.

Ben: Would the wailer live to wail again?And most important of all, and the story I didn't think got enough screen time this week.Stinky and I finally get to our secret destination, Blackie's where you can gamble for real money.Oh, no, I gave it away.
{"type": "series", "show": "Growing Pains", "episode": "03x19 - Dance Fever: Part 1"}