Original Air Date on January 12, 2006

[ Marching band plays, cheering ]

[ Cheering ] Crowd: Can't b*at Kent! Can't b*at Kent!

Announcer: And now the next senator of the state of Kansas ... Mr. Jonathan Kent!

[ Cheering ]

Jonathan: Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Really, thank you. Thank you all very much for coming out here this evening. I'm quite sure that many of you had more important things to do tonight than come out and listen to some farmer talk about the importance of corn subsidies.

[ Laughter ]

Jonathan: Um ... when I told my family that I had indeed decided to run against Lex Luthor, they were surprised, to say the least. I don't think they really understood ... why I want to run or why this is so very important to me. But the truth is actually ... it's actually very simple. The courage to help all Kansans, whether they're rich ... or whether they're poor, and do my very best to put the heart back in the heartland.

[ Cheering ]

Jonathan: Thank you.

[ Silenced g*n ]

Man: Mr. Luthor, this is your itinerary for tomorrow.

Lex: Push the mayor lunch and get me a photo op at the hospital.

Man: Yes, sir.

Lex: The nurses union is key in the 49th. One more thing, I need the new poll numbers from last night.

Man: Yes, sir. Central Kansas students for Lex Luthor, sir.

You have ... five minutes, tops.

Lex: Thucydides said, "We are either kings among men ... or the pawns of kings." The fact that you're here demonstrates that you strive for the former. The youth vote is stronger than we ever expected, and I have you to thank for that. But we cannot afford to be complacent. Great leaders are forged from those who see beyond the boundaries ... who go beyond the extra mile. They go the extra 10. Defeat is not an option.

[Applause ]

Lex: Thank you.

Samantha: Samantha drake ... President of Students for Lex Luthor.

Lex: Well, then, I should thank you personally for my spike in the MTV vote.

[ Man clears throat ]

Samantha: Such an honor to finally meet you. I know this is kind of geeky, but I'd be so psyched if I could get my picture taken with you.

Lex: Well, anything I can do to keep up morale with the troops.

[ Chuckles ]

Samantha: Excuse me. Thank you. Could you get the picture in the background? That's the one your father gave you after you closed the Metrotech deal, isn't it?

Lex: Well, it looks like you've done your homework, Miss Drake.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Lex: [ Laughs ] Thank you very much.

Samantha: I used to wear a cross.

Man: Sir? The limo is waiting.

Lex: Thank you very much.

[ Cellphone rings ]

Lex: This is Lex.

Griff: You wanted a grenade to throw in the Kent camp? I got an atomic b*mb.

Lex: This isn't a secure line.

Griff" Just meet me at Rampart and Broadway.

Lionel: Atomic warfare? A little overdramatic for local politics, isn't it?

Griff: I got no problems ending this conversation right now.

Lionel: I believe in the political w*apon trade, the deal usually goes to the highest bidder. Thank you.

[ Jonathan sighs ]

Lois: Is this for real?

Jonathan: Oh, uh, Sosnick had it all trucked up from Metropolis.

Lois: I keep expecting some mobster with a carnation to step out of the shadows and plug me.

[ Jonathan laughs ]

[ Martha sighs ]

Jonathan: Wow.

Martha: You have to admit, it's ... it's not exactly us.

Clark: Dad, are you sure this guy knows what he's doing?

Jonathan: Clark, Sosnick helped Jack win five elections. I'm sure he knows more about this stuff than we do.

Lois: If you ask me, I think he's trying to turn you into a Luthor.

Sosnick: Is there a problem?

Lois: Yeah, I was just wondering if you've ever actually met the Kents. The reason somebody is gonna vote for Mr. Kent is because they relate to him, and who is gonna believe that he supports local farmers when he looks like some big business blowhard ... no offense, Mr. Kent ... who wants to buy them out?

Sosnick: Well, that's called bridging the demo gap, dear.

Lois: Oh, and does bridging that gap also include misquoting your candidate?

Jonathan: Wait a minute. It says, "Jonathan Kent is quoted as saying, 'it is possible to serve corporate interest and maintain the public welfare.'" I never said that.

Sosnick: I did.

Jonathan: You did?

Sosnick: Yes. Look, this whole John Boy thing ... don't get me wrong. You're very good at it. It may win over the cowpokes, but there's a pool of voters that are more familiar with vente lattes than they are with digging postholes.

Jonathan: What I really need here is somebody who cares about what I believe in more than they care about winning a race. I'm sorry, but you got to go, Sosnick. You're fired.

Sosnick: Pack it up, guys.

Lois: Not that that didn't totally rock, Mr. Kent, but I have no idea how you're gonna find a replacement so quickly.

Jonathan: I do.

Lois: Oh, me? Um, what do I know about being a campaign manager?

Jonathan: What do I know about being a state senator?

[ Telephone ringing ]

Lois: Right.

Jonathan: I'll get it.

[ Ringing continues ]

Jonathan: Jonathan Kent.

Man: This is your last warning to drop out of the campaign.

Jonathan: I told you not to call here again.

[ Receiver clicks ]

Lois: [ Sighs ] Hey! What are you doing?

Samantha: Sorry, but CKU regulations dictate that all campaign materials can be no larger than 20x24.

Lois: Okay, Miss Over-Achiever, I think you're taking this campus-Gestapo thing way too seriously.

Samantha: The state's future depends on it, Miss Lane.

Lois: How do you know my name?

Samantha: Lex says, "Always know your enemy."

Lois: Leave it to Lex to treat this election like a hostile takeover, which is exactly what he's gonna do to the entire state, by the way.

Samantha: Progress requires sacrifices.

Lois: Mr. Kent is neck and neck with your fascist environmental annihilator.

Samantha: You heard what Lex said. True leaders see beyond boundaries. He set the bar. Now we need to raise it higher. Defeat is not an option.

[ Knock on door ]

Lana: Coming.

Clark: Hi.

Lana: Hi. Uh, looks like someone's had a long day of campaigning.

Clark: More like a long day of Lois.

Lana: Well, as much as I'd like to make a fool of myself at the ice rink, we could always stay in tonight.

Clark: Okay.

[ Lana chuckles ]

Lana: Ow!

Clark: What happened? Did I hurt you?

Lana: Unless you're the one who assigned six diagrams on planetary rotations. [ Sighs ]

Clark: You know, on second thought, maybe we should go.

Lana: Okay, this couldn't be more awkward ... but we haven't been together since I came to Met U.

Clark You mean, we haven't ... had ...

Lana: Sex. Clark, you can't tell me that you haven't noticed. [ Sighs ] Things between us haven't been the same since you miraculously came back from the d*ad.

Clark I know. Lana, I can't explain that anymore. It changed me.

Lana: Maybe I'll never understand what you went through. But you're still the same person, aren't you? Clark, I don't know. It just feels like you're afraid to touch me anymore. Did something happen? Clark? Okay, is this where I have to remind you that you're the one who said that we wouldn't keep things from each other anymore?

Clark [ Sighs ] Why is this about me? I mean, you're the one who pulled away first. You moved to Metropolis two weeks after we got together. And now you spend every moment with these books. Why astronomy?

Lana: It's homework.

Clark It's an obsession. And that thing about honesty ... it works both ways.

Lana: Nice deflection. [ Scoffs ] But I don't fall for that anymore. I gotta go get some air.

[ Chainsaw running ]

[ Chainsaw shuts off ]

Jonathan: Now, just who in the hell are you? Are you the one that's been callin' me? Hey! Are you the one that's been callin' me? You stay away from me and my family. Ugh! Ah!

[ Martha sighs ]

[ Footsteps ]

[ Martha gasps ]

Lionel: It's obviously true what they say. Behind every great man is a great woman. The campaign must be taking up a lot of your time.

Martha: Yes, it is, but fortunately Jonathan and I have a lot of help.

Lionel: Unfortunately, not enough to win. You know, uh, Lex is entering the last stretch of the campaign with infinite resources, and I believe you are down financially to ... nothing.

Martha: I'm glad to see you're finally behind your son, but I thought you knew me better than that, Lionel. I would never give upon my husband.

Lionel: You misunderstand me. Lex has deep pockets, and Jonathan needs at least the money to match that.

Martha: This is more than money to match. Ooh. We've run this campaign on his beliefs, and that's what's gonna win him the election. Jonathan would never accept this.

Lionel: I know. I, uh, fully expected Jonathan to barrel his way through the campaign fueled by blind idealism, but, uh, I was hoping you'd be more savvy. Perhaps you have your own personal reasons for wanting Jonathan not to win.

Chloe: So I know you didn't come by this late at night to drop off this press release. What happened?

Clark: [ Sighs ] Well, how far do you want to cross this friendship boundary?

Chloe: [ Laughs ] Since when did we have boundaries? All right, why don't you just leave out the details?

Clark: Well ... everything was fine between Lana and I when I was human. I mean, it was great.

Chloe: Okay, Clark.

Clark: But now that I have my abilities back, it's like our ... sex ... life ... has been on hiatus.

Chloe: Oh. Uhh ... [ Chuckles nervously ] I know I'm gonna regret asking this question, but, um ... why?

Clark: 'Cause it just takes some time for me to adjust my abilities to new ... situations.

Chloe: Wow, uh ... [ Chuckles ] Awkward factor eight.[ Chuckles ] Um ... so, basically, what you're saying is that you're afraid that, in the heat of the moment, you might ... please don't make me finish this sentence, Clark.

Clark: Well, see, that's the thing. I'm not sure what would happen. I mean, if I couldn't control myself ...

Chloe: OK, you know what, Clark? Right there? That's something that can never be unseen.

Clark: It's not funny.

Chloe: No, you're right. It's not. It's just that this ... this conversation definitely cements me as your Krypto-hag. Look, Clark ... [Chuckles] You can shake my hand without crushing it, right? And you don't exactly incinerate everyone you look at with your heat-vision thing. So it's pretty much the same thing, right? I mean ... metaphorically. But you didn't need me to tell you all this, so what gives?

Clark: [ Sighs ] I think I got used to lying Lana when were friends. Now it's different.

Chloe: Yeah. [Chuckles] You know, Clark, I'm playing my best zone defense, but I think you're in denial territory about what Lana knows. I mean, she's studying astronomy. The meteors, the fact that the undead topic comes up daily.

Clark: Well, I can't just tell her .It's too risky.

Chloe: Okay, fine, Clark. Then don't tell her about it, but your game needs to switch from defense to offense because, sooner or later, Lana's gonna start asking all the wrong people all the right questions.

Clark: Mom, you didn't say much on the ride home. Are you sure everything's okay?

Martha: Yeah, I'm ... I'm fine. I'll just be glad when the election is over.

[ Dog barking ] [ Dog growls ]

Martha: Shelby, hi! What's the matter? Huh? What's wrong?

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

Lois: I moved the rally to next week so Mr. Kent can recover. Or not.

Clark: Dad, what are you doing?

Jonathan: I can't let 'em stop me.

Lois: I will tell them the rally's a go again.

Martha: I thought the doctor said he was going to keep you overnight.

Jonathan: No, then they'd have exactly what they want.

Clark: Something tells me it's not the first time they've called.

Martha: Jonathan, how could you keep this from us? We're in this as a family.

Jonathan: Are we? You've never been happy about me running, and now I'm guessing you want me to quit.

Martha: Maybe you're willing to risk your life over this, but I don't think I'm willing to stand by and watch.

Jonathan: I have got to see this thing through, Martha.

Clark: "Do as I say, not as I do." Huh, Dad?

Jonathan: Look, I never taught you to buckle under pressure, especially not from Lex Luthor.

Clark: Lex? You think he'd go this far?

Jonathan: There's no limit to what Lex Luthor would do, son.

Lex: Clark. I heard what happened. I just wanted to make sure your father's okay.

Clark: Trust me, this is as close to my father as you want to get right now.

Lex: He thinks I was behind it, doesn't he?

Clark: What do you expect him to believe?

Lex: Maybe the truth. I issued a press release denouncing the att*ck and offered a reward for any information leading to the assailants' capture. I need you to believe me.

Clark: Lex, why is some state senate seat so important to you?

Lex: It's a stepping stone.

Clark: To what?

Lex: That's like Apollo asking Icarus why he's building wings. Look, Clark, you have everything you've ever wanted. I'm sorry if I'm still searching.

Clark: What if you don't win? What if you get to the capital and realize you still haven't found what you're looking for?

Lex: Well, there's always the White House. Look, I promise you, we're gonna find out who did this to your dad.

Samantha: Didn't work. We failed him. Well, now we know what we need to do, and I already have everything in place.

Boy #1: Samantha, chill out. We already went too far, and it totally backfired.

Boy #2: We need to turn ourselves in before somebody points a finger at Lex.

Samantha: Lex asked us to go the extra 10 miles. I'm the only one willing to do that.

Boy #1: What are you talking about?

Samantha: There is one thing that Kent can't bounce back from.

Boy #1: I'm going to the cops before this gets more out of control.

Samantha: Lex would have never ... given up that easily.

[ Clippers hum ]

Lex: I waited at the drop-off, but Griff never showed. Find out what happened to him. [ Scoffs ] I didn't, uh, recognize you for a moment.

Samantha: I wanted to show you how devoted I am to you.

Lex: [ Laughs ] Well, you certainly have. I have all the enabling devices I need, thank you. Though apparently I could use better security.

Samantha: Don't they always say never use your birthday as your security code? Or, more specifically ... your brother's?

Lex: Interesting choice of perfume.

Samantha: Hermes. It's your favorite. I know everything about you, Mr. Senator.

Lex: Senator? Now, aren't you a little ahead of yourself?

Samantha: Not now. Not with Jonathan Kent out of the picture.

Lex: I would never condone what happened to Mr. Kent.

Samantha: Of course not. You've got to distance yourself. It's like you said in the Herald article ... "Strike when you can but never leave yourself vulnerable."

Lex: Please tell me you weren't responsible for that att*ck.

Samantha: It's okay, Lex. I know what you want me to do, and I would never want you to take the fall for it.

Lex: You may have read everything about me, but don't assume you know me. I would never hurt the Kents.

Samantha: You're losing your edge, Lex.

Lex: And you've clearly gone over it. My security will escort you to the police station.

Samantha: You're just having a moment of weakness. That's why you need me.

Chloe: Lex Luthor going Godfather on your dad? I don't know, Clark. Lex seems like the kind of guy who lives for the fight as much as the victory.

Clark: Here's a list of all the calls logged on our phone today. My dad pawned that one off as a wrong number. It's blocked, but ...

Chloe: Uh, I'll let my fingers do the walking. Just give me a second. You know, it's not like your dad to keep something like this a secret.

Clark: He's kind of turned into a different person lately, like he's got something to prove to everyone.

Chloe: Maybe just his son.

Clark: What does running for senator have to do with me?

Chloe: Think about it, Clark. It must be kind of hard being a role model for a guy who pulls people out of a burning building and stops nuclear m*ssile all between chores and dinner.

Clark: No one's expecting him to do that.

Chloe: True, but it's not gonna stop him from trying. Oh, here we go. Let's see what we got. Great. The call was made from ... the "Students for Lex Luthor" office at CKU.

[ Marching band plays, cheering ]

Jonathan: "To do my part to put the heart back in the heartland."

Lois: Great closing line, Mr. Kent.

Jonathan: They're Martha's words, not mine. I just hope she shows up in time to hear me say them.

Lois: Are you sure you want to do this? I know that we have extra security and everything, but it's not too late to postpone.

Jonathan: Lois, what kind of a leader would I be if I let some pranksters make me back down, hmm?

Announcer: And now the next senator ...

Lois: Jacket?

Oh, yeah.

Announcer: ... Mr. Jonathan Kent!

Lois: You look wonderful: Jonathan: Hmm.

Lois: Knock them d*ad, boss.

Jonathan: Yeah.

Crowd: Can't b*at Kent! Can't b*at Kent! Can't b*at Kent!

[ Cheering ]

Jonathan: Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Really, thank you.

Lois: Excuse me? Hey.

Jonathan: When I told my family that I had indeed decided to run against Lex Luthor, they were surprised, to say the least. But their support has been unwavering. See, I've been inspired. I've been inspired by my son whose courage seems to know ...

Lois: Talk about an initiation gone wrong.

Samantha: Get up. Those basic-training skills are looking a little rusty. Like I said ... know your enemy.

Lois: Look, magna-cum-laude psycho ... you are not gonna sh**t Jonathan Kent.

Samantha: You're right. You are.

[ Cheering ]

Jonathan: In fact, it is because of my family that I have the courage to run at all. I don't think they really understood ... why I want to run or why this is so very important to me. But the truth is actually ... it's actually very simple. The courage to help all Kansans, whether they're rich ...

Lois: Nobody will ever believe I would sh**t Jonathan Kent.

Samantha: Really? Beautiful girl comes to live under his roof. His wife gets a little too busy at that coffee shop. Suddenly, he fires a seasoned political consultant and takes the girl on the campaign trail. Until it all goes wrong, and the spurned lover gets her revenge. Now just aim at Jonathan's head and sh**t. Didn't General Lane teach you anything?

Lois: Actually, he did.

[ g*n cocks ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Silenced g*n ]

[ Screaming ]

Man: Stay down, sir.

Jonathan: Martha?

Clark: Lois.

Lois: Don't sweat it, Smallville. Better late than never.

[ Samantha grunts ]

Lionel: "Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys. Look on them as your own beloved sons ... "

Lex: "And they will stand by you even unto death." You know, you really don't have to quote "The Art of w*r" to me, Dad. I read it cover to cover three times before I finished high school. Although ... I still would have preferred a bike for my 14th birthday.

Lionel: Yes, well, despite your intense studies, it seems Jonathan Kent, after yesterday's theatrics, has surged ahead of you in the polls.

Lex: I didn't have anything to do with that.

Lionel: No, no, of course, you didn't. But it looks as though your disciples tried to follow in your footsteps. They have succeeded in creating quite a mess. How does it feel, Lex ... to have people worship you?

Lex: Being the idol for a cult of psychopaths isn't exactly a power trip, Da.

Lionel: Oh, but I suppose being a state senator would be. Isn't that why you're running for office?

Lex: You want to know the truth? I'm running because it's something I actually have to work for.

Lionel: [ Laughing ] Yes, and your noble efforts include employing hired g*n to dig up information about the Kents that could destroy them.

Lex: Well, so much for your fatherly pride and support in this campaign, huh, Dad? Griff's d*ad. His body turned up in the back alley of su1c1de Slums this morning, and somehow I don't think the Kents did it.

Lionel: Dangerous neighborhood, Lex.

Lex: Would it have k*lled you this one time to actually be on my side?

Lionel: You're slipping, son. First, Professor Milton Fine vanishes from your radar. Now Griff. It ... [ Sighs ] It might be time to dust this off.

Jonathan: All the teachers will be there?

Lois: Yes.

Jonathan: All right, great.

Lois: And here are the talking points for the teachers union.

Jonathan: Okay.

Lois: And don't forget ...

Jonathan: I know. I've got the firefighters' breakfast in the morning. Don't worry, Lois. I'm not gonna forget.

Lois: Mmm, firefighters. I think I might tag along for that one. There's got to be a few perks to this job.

[ Jonathan laughs ]

Martha: Good news.

Jonathan: Hmm?

Martha: You're up 10 points in the polls after the rally yesterday.

Jonathan: Wow! It looks like we could win this thing after all, huh?

[ Smooches ]I I got to run. Bye.

Lois: Bye.

Martha: It's great to see him so optimistic.

Lois: Yeah. I hate to be the one to burst his bubble.

Martha: What do you mean?

Lois: Lex is running 800 ads and dropping three mailers in the next two weeks. We may be ahead now, but that much coverage will make Mr. Kent a distant memory by election day. And ... as far as I can tell ...

Martha: We're out of money.

[ Sighs ] I've been trying to figure out how to tell him for a couple of days.

Lois: Well, if we don't find some major green, he can kiss that fancy leather chair at the capital goodbye.

Martha: There is one other option. But you have to promise me never to tell Jonathan.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Clark: Lana. I wasn't expecting to see you here.

Lana: I wasn't about to leave things the way they were. Look, Clark.

Clark: Look, Lana, I ... You were right. I was pulling away. It's because I've been wanting to be with you for so long ... but I feel like I'd just screw it up.

Lana: Clark, I would never let you go that easily. Maybe we just need to slow down and try and get back to where we were.

[ Sighs ]

Clark: I freak out.[ Chuckles ] I screw up, and I blame everything on you, and you forgive me ... no questions asked.

Lana: Maybe that's because it's not all your fault. What you said about me running off to Met U. and getting all caught up in my homework ... it's not entirely false. [ Sighs ] Clark, I've been studying the meteor showers.

Clark: You said you were gonna leave that in the past.

Lana: I know I did, and I tried to. But those meteors changed my life, and now with the second shower ... Clark, there is no way that they're random.

Clark: What are you saying?

Lana: Okay, well, you know that spacecraft that I saw during this last shower? Well, I was looking into the satellite imagery from the first meteor shower, the one that happened when we were kids, and there's something that doesn't crash the way the other meteors do. It, um ... Well, it kind of lands. Clark, what if a ship came down in the first meteor shower as well, and whoever was in it has been here with us this entire time?

Martha: Thank you for coming.

Lionel: It's my pleasure. I'm always here for you, Martha.
{"type": "series", "show": "Smallville", "episode": "05x10 - Fanatic"}