THE HORNS OF NIMON

BY: ANTHONY READ

Part One

Original Air Date: 22 December 1979
Running time: 25:41

COPILOT: When are we going to get modern equipment? Proper battleships? When are we going to fight again?

PILOT: It's only a matter of a short time now.

COPILOT: The computer's malfunctioning again.

PILOT: I warned you, you're overloading it. The instructions are quite clear. Until we get new equipment we must reroute all subsidiary functions through the backup computer.

COPILOT: But that takes hours to do!

PILOT: We're twelve hours out from Aneth. Only another twelve to Skonnos.

COPILOT: Be a lot faster if this equipment worked properly.

PILOT: Nimon will soon fulfil his great promise to us.

PILOT: We must be patient.

COPILOT: Patient? Patience is the virtue of the weak. Skonnons are meant to fight, to conquer, to rule, as in the days when these ships were built.

PILOT: We'll fight, and Nimon will give us all we need.

COPILOT: When?

PILOT: When we have fulfilled our part of the contract.

COPILOT: Oh, really?

PILOT: This is to be the last shipment.

COPILOT: The last?

PILOT: Yes. Our part of the contract will be fulfilled.

COPILOT: With this cargo?

PILOT: Yes.

COPILOT: I'll go and check it's safe.

COPILOT: Weakling scum!

PILOT: How are they?

COPILOT: Same as the cargo always is. Inferior, craven beings. They'd have to be to surrender to us on an old ship like this.

PILOT: The Anethans remember the old days, when these were the most feared ships in the skies. Before we started fighting amongst ourselves.

COPILOT: Twelve hours to Skonnos. We can do it in six, right?

PILOT: Not without overloading the computer.

COPILOT: It can take it. We could do it in nine hours, okay?

PILOT: Well, it means cutting out the dogleg round sector L seventy five.

COPILOT: It means getting home quickly with this last cargo.

PILOT: Well, double check the programme. We mustn't overload it.

COPILOT: It hardly matters. This ship will never have to fly again. See? No problems at all. We could do it in six hours.

PILOT: Six hours? You said nine hours.

COPILOT: It'll make it.

PILOT: You blundering fool! You've wrecked it. The a*t*matic pilot's gone d*ad.

COPILOT: Well, it'll be all right, won't it? We can fly her on manual.

PILOT: We're off course already.

COPILOT: All we have to do is to find the beacon again. (beep) There, there's the beacon. We can fly back to it.

PILOT: We're moving further away from it.

COPILOT: Well, push the engines up to full power!

PILOT: You blundering idiot! The ship's completely out of control!

COPILOT: Steer, blast you! Steer!

PILOT: It's not working. There's nothing we can do.

TEKA: Seth, what's happening?

SETH: I don't know.

TEKA: You'll look after me, won't you?

SETH: Of course I will.

PILOT: The engines! They'll blow!

DOCTOR: There. That should immobilise her for the moment.

K9: Correction, master. The TARDIS is moving.

DOCTOR: When making modifications, it's extremely important to shut everything down except that which is not necessary to shut down. Well, of course. Terribly easy to damage things otherwise.

DOCTOR: Ow! Like me, for instance. I'd better disconnect that. Good, that should hold her steady.

K9: Repeat, master. The TARDIS is moving.

DOCTOR: How can it be? I just completely immobilised her.

K9: Affirmative.

DOCTOR: Good, good.

K9: Still moving, and accelerating.

DOCTOR: What? But K9, how can it be?

ROMANA: He could be right, you know.

DOCTOR: What do you mean, he could be right? How could he possibly be right? He's only a dog, you know.

ROMANA: Doctor.

DOCTOR: We do seem to be moving.

ROMANA: Very fast.

DOCTOR: Yes. But everything's off. Except what's on, of course.

ROMANA: Doctor, what have you been doing?

DOCTOR: Well, I've just been trying out a little idea I had for a slight modification of the conceptual geometer.

ROMANA: (sighs) This is an old ship.

DOCTOR: So what?

ROMANA: Don't you think that's a bit dangerous?

DOCTOR: No, I don't. What could possibly go

DOCTOR: Ow! Wrong. You know, I've simply got to stop saying that. Every single time I say what could possibly go wrong, something goes

DOCTOR: Oh! It's uncanny, isn't it?

ROMANA: A gravitational field?

DOCTOR: There are no planets in the sector.

ROMANA: But Doctor, we are moving.

DOCTOR: Romana, do you think I'd dismantle half the control systems including the conceptual geometer, the dematerialisation circuits

ROMANA: What?

DOCTOR: The dematerialisation circuits. Do you think I'd do that if there was the slightest risk of our being brought into a gravitational field?

ROMANA: You've immobilised the dematerialisation circuits

DOCTOR: It's all right, it's all right, it's all right. Stay calm. Watch.

DOCTOR: There we are. Look. Nothing. Blackness.

ROMANA: It may be black, but we are moving very fast.

DOCTOR: Romana, we're moving very fast.

ROMANA: Are we falling into a black hole?

DOCTOR: No. It's not pulling hard enough for that. Anyway, there's nothing charted.

ROMANA: I hope you're right, because we can't dematerialise.

DOCTOR: Fascinating, isn't it? I wonder what it would be like to be crushed to a singularity?

ROMANA: Don't stand there wondering, do something.

DOCTOR: Hmm? What?

ROMANA: Put it together again.

DOCTOR: Oh, right, right. K9. We'll put it together again. I need your help, K9.

DOCTOR: Ow! You all right, K9?

DOCTOR: K9? K9, are you all right? K9!

DOCTOR: K9. Come on, boy. Sorry about this, K9.

DOCTOR: K9, all you all right?

K9: Affirmative.

DOCTOR: Good, good.

DOCTOR: It's all right. It's only the defence shields.

ROMANA: Only? Can you fix them?

DOCTOR: Yes, of course. I can fix anything, given time.

ROMANA: Which is exactly what we don't have.

DOCTOR: What?

ROMANA: Look.

ROMANA: There is something. It's tiny. How can something so minute have such an enormous gravitational pull?

DOCTOR: How interesting. Ha, looks like a spaceship.

ROMANA: And we're heading straight for it.

COPILOT: Hello, Skonnos. Skonnos, can you hear me? Skonnos. Come in, Skonnos Control. Can you hear me?

SOLDEED: I have spoken with the Nimon.

SORAK: And what does he say, Soldeed?

SOLDEED: He says many things. He speaks of the great journey of life. He speaks of conquest. He speaks of Skonnos rising from its own ashes with wings of f*re.

SORAK: Does he speak of the new ships?

SOLDEED: He says we shall have them, and soon. The new sacrifices from Aneth are the last that he demands.

SORAK: Then we really are on the brink of having the promise fulfilled.

SOLDEED: I believe we are, Sorak. I do believe we are. The Second Skonnon Empire will be born.

DOCTOR: It's no good. I can't fix them in time.

ROMANA: You mean we have no defence shields?

DOCTOR: Yes.

K9: Master?

DOCTOR: What is it, K9?

K9: Collision imminent.

DOCTOR: What?

DOCTOR: You were right, K9. We have arrived.

ROMANA: Where?

DOCTOR: Well, we're jammed up against that spaceship. Pretty battered old ship. Been here for years. Centuries, probably. I think we'll go and take a look.

ROMANA: It's not going to be easy to get across there.

DOCTOR: No. Ah, here's a notion. The defence shield on the door's on a different circuit. It might be possible to extrude it.

ROMANA: How?

DOCTOR: Watch.

DOCTOR: There. What do you think of that?

ROMANA: Well done, Doctor.

DOCTOR: It was nothing, nothing. K9?

K9: Master?

DOCTOR: Romana?

ROMANA: Doctor.

DOCTOR: Let's go.

DOCTOR: Ah ha.

DOCTOR: Oh, how commonplace. It looks like a crystalline rock of some kind.

ROMANA: Hymetusite.

DOCTOR: Yes, I do believe it is.

ROMANA: Hymetusite is highly radioactive!

DOCTOR: What?

K9: Master, I detect ultra-radiation level Q seven point three two five.

DOCTOR: Thank you, K9. And now?

K9: Level falling. Q one point eight six one, falling.

DOCTOR: Good. Now listen, K9. We're going to explore this ship and see what makes it tick.

K9: Source of radiation probably hymetusite crystalline

DOCTOR: Not that sort of ticking, K9.

K9: Master?

DOCTOR: Listen, I want you to go back to the TARDIS control room and check out all the damage. Inspect all circuits so we see what we need to put right.

K9: Affirmative, master.

DOCTOR: Off you go then.

ROMANA: I suppose it's some sort of freighter.

DOCTOR: Oh, yes. No one in his right mind would mix hymetusite and passengers.

ROMANA: I wonder where it was heading?

DOCTOR: Hmm. Door's locked.

DOCTOR: Hello. How long have you been here, eh? Come, it's all right. Don't be frightened. Don't be frightened. Here, have a jelly baby. Go on, go on.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's all right. Go on, you show them.

DOCTOR: There we are. Now you have one. Go on, you can do it.

DOCTOR: No, I'll have that one. Here, pass them round. One each. Now, how long have you been here?

SETH: Who are you?

DOCTOR: Well, I'm the Doctor. This is Romana. Who are you?

SETH: Seth.

TEKA: He is Prince of Aneth.

DOCTOR: Aneth! That's a charming place.

SETH: You've been to Aneth?

DOCTOR: Yes, but not yet.

SETH: Oh.

TEKA: Where are we now?

DOCTOR: Nowhere.

ROMANA: Where were you going?

SETH: Skonnos.

DOCTOR: Skonnos?

SETH: We are the bearers of Aneth's tribute to the Nimon.

DOCTOR: What?

TEKA: We are the bearers of Aneth's tribute to the Nimon.

DOCTOR: No, that's all right. I heard what you said. I was just thinking what a curious thing to be.

SETH: We were on our way to Skonnos when something went wrong with the ship.

DOCTOR: What?

SETH: It felt as if it went out of control. There was a crash, then silence, and here we are.

DOCTOR: Yeah, well, here, as you so rightly say, we are. Huh.

SETH: What's that?

DOCTOR: Another thing's been drawn into the ship.

ROMANA: A gravity whirlpool?

DOCTOR: Yes. Sargasso Sea in space. Romana?

ROMANA: Yes?

DOCTOR: Suppose, just suppose, someone were beginning to create a black hole.

ROMANA: What?

DOCTOR: Artificially, I mean.

ROMANA: Can it be done?

DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Fix gravity beam, track matter to one point in space, and when there's enough it starts to collapse to a singularity. But who'd want to do that?

ROMANA: Is it my imagination, or is the gravity increasing all the time?

DOCTOR: I'd say it was increasing.

SETH: What's happening?

DOCTOR: Unless we find a way of getting out of here, we're all going to be crushed to a singularity.

TEKA: What's a singularity?

ROMANA: A mathematical point with no dimensions.

DOCTOR: Oh, never mind about that. Seth, who's in charge of this ship?

COPILOT: I am.

DOCTOR: Ah, pleased to see you.

COPILOT: Who are you? What are you doing with the sacrifices?

DOCTOR: Sacrifices?

COPILOT: Sacrifices to the Nimon. Who are you, space pirates?

DOCTOR: No!

COPILOT: Why should I believe that?

DOCTOR: Well, that's a good question. Er, can you get us out of here?

COPILOT: Can you?

DOCTOR: I might be able to. Why don't you put that thing away and show me your controls?

COPILOT: Through there.

DOCTOR: Aren't you going to put that thing away?

COPILOT: Through there!

DOCTOR: Well, all right, if that's the way you want to play it.

DOCTOR (OOV.): Though how I'm going to mend the controls with my arms up in the air like this

COPILOT: Weakling scum!

DOCTOR: Hello, who's that?

COPILOT: The pilot.

DOCTOR: Ah.

COPILOT: He's d*ad.

DOCTOR: What?

COPILOT: He crashed the ship.

DOCTOR: But the ship hasn't crashed.

COPILOT: Well, it went out of control. At least the cargo is safe.

ROMANA: He means the hymetusite.

COPILOT: I mean the sacrifices.

ROMANA: Sacrifices?

COPILOT: The Anethans. I have to get them safely to Skonnos, whatever happens. They are our payment in the great contract.

DOCTOR: I don't like the sound of that.

COPILOT: It doesn't matter what you like the sound of.

SOLDEED: Why doesn't it respond?

SORAK: Soldeed?

SOLDEED: Leave me, Sorak. I'm engaged in important work.

SORAK: But sir, this is very important. I don't know how to tell you.

SOLDEED: Begin at the beginning and end at the end, Sorak.

SORAK: Well, it's the transport from Aneth, sir. The ship bringing the final sacrifices?

SOLDEED: What about it?

SORAK: It's disappeared.

SOLDEED: Disappeared? What are you talking about?

SORAK: Completely vanished, sir. The last two routine signals have not yet arrived. We thought it might be just a communications fault, but nothing we can do can raise them at all. There's absolutely no trace.

SOLDEED: No trace? Do everything in your power to locate that ship.

SORAK: Sir, I have!

SOLDEED: It must be found!

SOLDEED: The Nimon will have to be informed.

DOCTOR: These engines have seen better days.

COPILOT: This is a battleship of the First Skonnon Empire. It will soon be replaced.

DOCTOR: Well, the sooner the better. It's a right hodge-podge up there. Very old engines patched up with new equipment, a lot of it not really compatible.

ROMANA: Sounds like the TARDIS.

DOCTOR: Yes.

COPILOT: Can you make it work?

DOCTOR: The odd thing is, the new equipment seems to be the product of an entirely different technology.

COPILOT: Can you make it work?

DOCTOR: Have to noticed how people's intellectual curiosity declines sharply the moment they start waving g*n about?

COPILOT: Can you make it work?

DOCTOR: Yes. Oh yes, I can make it work. The question is, can we generate power soon enough to take the ship to escape velocity before we fall into a black hole with an event horizon.

COPILOT: A what?

DOCTOR: Shush. You just hold the g*n steady. Don't tax your mind.

ROMANA: Do you think we have enough power?

DOCTOR: Not with that fuel.

ROMANA: What about the hymetusite? If we could convert the engines, it's an immensely rich energy source.

DOCTOR: Brilliant! I wish I'd thought of that.

ROMANA: Oh, you will, Doctor, you will.

DOCTOR: Ha ha. Take a look.

DOCTOR: Now, I've got to go back to my own ship to get some things. I want you to fetch up two pieces of hymetusite to lower into the fuel cell. Look, why don't you give me the g*n and then I can keep an eye on myself so that I don't get up to any funny business?

COPILOT: Don't you play the fool with me, Doctor.

DOCTOR: All right. What do you think, Romana?

ROMANA: I think it's possible. You're right, though. It's a strange mixture of technologies up here.

DOCTOR: Yeah. Well, listen. As soon as he brings the hymetusite

ROMANA: I shall know what to do with it.

DOCTOR: Good girl, Romana. Now listen. I'm popping back to the TARDIS to get some gear. Here, take this. You might need it.

ROMANA: Er, no thank you. I've made my own.

DOCTOR: Oh, really? Really? You made this? Not bad. Bit basic though. Huh. Thank you.

ROMANA: Er Doctor?

DOCTOR: Yes? Oh. Ha, ha. So sorry.

ROMANA: Thank you. Look, don't we both want to get out of here?

DOCTOR: Now, be kind to them.

COPILOT: Weakling scum. You two, go on.

SOLDEED: In the name of the Second Skonnon Empire.

DOCTOR: K9?

K9: Master?

DOCTOR: Ah, there you are. How's it going, K9?

K9: Damage report almost complete, master.

DOCTOR: And?

K9: Defence shields are inoperative.

DOCTOR: Well, I know that.

K9: Dematerialisation circuits inoperative.

DOCTOR: We're up a gum tree without a paddle.

K9: Define gum tree.

DOCTOR: Well, it's a tree that gives gum.

K9: Explain use of paddle in gum tree.

DOCTOR: You wouldn't understand, K9.

K9: Affirmative.

DOCTOR: How's the dimensional s*ab?

K9: Fused, master.

DOCTOR: Gravitic anomoliser?

K9: Functioning normally, master.

DOCTOR: Good, good. I'll take that, then, and one or two other bits and pieces. Oh, by the way, K9. Skonnon Empire. Does that mean anything to you?

K9: Skonnon Empire. Military dictatorship extended over one hundred star systems. Lost in civil w*r.

SOLDEED: Lord Nimon? Lord Nimon? It is I, Soldeed.

ROMANA: It's getting worse.

DOCTOR: We're almost there. Get back to the flight deck and switch on the engines.

COPILOT: Then what?

DOCTOR: Then you wait until I come and give you the signal to start building up power. Hurry! And don't forget to wait for the signal.

COPILOT: All right.

DOCTOR: Right, now as soon as he switches on the power, you know what to do.

ROMANA: Plug the gravitic anomoliser into the main circuit.

DOCTOR: Good girl.

ROMANA: What are you going to do?

DOCTOR: I'm going to move the TARDIS into the hold of this ship, then we can ride out with it, park somewhere and repair it with as much time as we like.

ROMANA: Is that safe?

DOCTOR: Well, it would be if the dimensional s*ab was working. It's all right, it's all right. K9 said it's just fused.

DOCTOR: Hello. Have some more jelly babies.

ROMANA: It's going to be all right. We just have to wait for the Doctor.

DOCTOR: Not that bit, K9, that bit.

DOCTOR: Ow!

K9: Apologies, master.

DOCTOR: What is it, K9?

K9: Gravity still increasing, master.

DOCTOR: Yes, that's just what I thought.

ROMANA: I don't see why.

SETH: Because if we don't send a tribute every year, Skonnos will come and destroy Aneth.

ROMANA: With ships like these?

SETH: The Skonnon battlefleet is an awesome sight.

ROMANA: Have you seen it?

TEKA: Our grandparents did, in the days of the first conquest. They say it blotted out the daylight.

ROMANA: Well, if the whole fleet's in this condition, a good shout would see the lot of them off.

ROMANA: What's that noise?

SETH: Must be the ship in flight.

ROMANA: In flight? But the Doctor isn't back on board yet. The pilot was meant to wait! Oh, why didn't you tell me we were moving?

DOCTOR: We've been abandoned, K9!

K9: Affirmative, master.

DOCTOR: The co-pilot.

ROMANA: Despicable worm! Turn back!

COPILOT: My duty is to get my cargo to the Nimon. We're late already.

ROMANA: Your duty is to save the life of the man who's just saved yours.

COPILOT: We must fulfil our part of the pact.

ROMANA: Turn back!

COPILOT: The Nimon waits for no man!

NIMON: You dare disturb me at this time?

DOCTOR: The weasel.

K9: Master.

DOCTOR: Poor Romana.

K9: Master!

DOCTOR: What is it, K9?

K9: Scanner detects large object approaching at great speed.

DOCTOR: Looks like an asteroid. What do you make of it?

K9: Estimated mass equivalent to two hundred and twenty million tons.

DOCTOR: Two hundred and twenty million tons? That's not an asteroid, that's a planet!

K9: Diameter nine six point four kilometres, approaching at a speed of mach nine point three.

DOCTOR: Nine point three? It's coming right for us!
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who", "episode": "17x17 - The Horns of Nimon - part 1"}