Start walking 

Edgar: Oh great, another cellmate, no offense, I’m sure you’re lovely pal, give you a tour , get you situated, there’s the bucket where your pee freezes, that’s it

What’s your name lass? 

Edgar: That’s Holga, I’m Edgar 

I’ve been in a lot of cells, never shared one with a female before 

Edgar: Word of advice, she doesn’t like to be disturbed while eating her potatoes, highlight of her day 

I’m not talking to you, I’m not so bad

Edgar: Jonathan’s on the committee’s, if anyone’s going to free us, it’s him

I noticed Jarnathan isn’t present, should we wait for him to be here?

Baroness Torbo: Councilman jarnathan is delayed by the storm 

Chancellor Anderton: Speak or wave your proposal 

Edgin: It might surprise you to know I wasn’t always a thief

I was part of the Harper faction, a network of spies who supported tyranny , never asked for anything in return 

Stopped in their tracks, took down a red wizard 

 I came home to my loving wife and daughter

Being a Harper I didn’t make a lot of friends, damage dealt by a red wizard’s blade  , 

As Zia died so did my devotion to the oath sorry it’s hard to re live without Jarnathan 

He missed an essential part of my back story 

Torbo: We’re capable of deciding your case without Jarnathan 

Edgin: I came home to my loving 

You went back too far, quit stalling 

Edgin: That’s where I met Holga, she took pity on me, she took pity on the baby , we were both residents of rock bottom , became like brother and sister, built on trust and mutual respect , we didn’t have money, tried something different

You’re probably wondering how we continued this criminal lifestyle with a young girl involved, we didn’t leave her home 

Wasn’t the only new recruit, Simon a so so sorcerer and a con man named Forge 

We were thieves, didn’t hurt anyone, robbed the people who would feel it the least 

Edgin: It’s too dangerous 

Young Kira: Then you shouldn’t go either 

Edgin: I didn’t tell her about the tower and to shit it went 

We’re stuck in a time stop

Simon: Sophina’s too powerful 

Edgin: Take the tablet, keep Kira safe

Forge: You have my word 

If you sentence me to another two years or twenty for that matter, it wont be punishment enough for the worst crime I ever committed , robbing me daughter of her father 

Jarnathan! 

Jarnathan: Step aside 

Torbo: Jarnathan!

But we aporoved your pardon 

Edgin: Fly bird 

Holga: He’s still breathing 

Edgin: I told you he’d get us out of there 

Holga: Sure Kira’s here 

Edgin: It’s been empty for a while

Bartender: Another for you and your wife

Holga: Those lips 

Edgin: Gross 

You sure you want to go through that? What if Marilman doesn’t want to talk to you 

Holga: It’s not about what he wants, it’s about closure 

Edgin: He sent you a letter saying he wasn’t your husband anymore, sounds like closure  

Edgin: Forge is lord of dundermin?

Holga: How’d that happen?

Edgin: If he has Kira I don’t care 

Some people like these lips 

Edgin: How long’s it been?

Holga: Two years 

Edgin: How long have we been sitting here? 

Kira: Holga, dad 

Holga: Hey bug 

Kira: I missed you 

What are they? 

Edgin; Mittens 

Holga: Oh thanks 

Kira: Holga I still have the pendant you gave me, use it to sneak around the castle, so strange you’re here 

Edgin: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and things went badly, why are you looking at me like you’re mad at me?

Kira; Because you’re acting like it wasn’t your fault 

Edgar: Early release 

Olga: Good behaviour 

Edgar: How did you become the lord of dundermin?

Forge: When you charged me with Kira’s wellbeing, I didn’t care for it, had to be better , so when Neverumber , the treasure we took from Coren’s cave paved the way for my campaign 

This is blistering hot, speak to the kitchen staff , there’s no need for it to be this hot 

Forge: You remember Sofina 

Edgar: You’re still working with her? 

She’s the reason we got caught 

Forge: If it wasn’t for her, we all would have been caught 

I didn’t realise we were just in 

I’ll leave that for later 

Kira: Of course you came for the tablet of riches not for me

Olga: The what? 

Edgar: The tablet of reawakening, that’s why I agreed to the heist, I was trying to bring back your Mum

Is that what he told you? I left you for more riches 

Olga: You know why he came

Kira; Why wouldn’t you tell me it was for Mum? 

Edgar: I didn’t want you to be disappointed if I failed 

Forge: You’ve been lying since you stepped foot in here 

Kira: You escaped? 

Kira: You snake 

Forge: She really is a really powerful wizard , you think you’d remember that from the last time you were trapped

Edgar: You wanted us to get caught 

Forge: I wanted you and Simon to get caught 

Olga: After all these years you double cross us for this witch 

Forge: Never put your trust in a con man

Holga: Have to worry about our own hides 

Edgin; You got this?

Holga: I know you don’t 

Holga: Gail vanderman’s?

How did you know that?

Holga: Ink on the haft, nice parry, that’s nice  

Holga: What do you clean it with? 

You’re about to have your head chopped off , this is what you’re concerned with? 

Boiled linseed oil , once a month 

Holga: Should be once a week, that’s why you’re getting rust on the head 

Chop it off

Edgin: We’ve got them now 

Olga: Before we go

Edgin: Linseed oil 

Kira: Why did he lie?

Forge: Maybe he was ashamed to admit

Kira: I should go talk to him

Forge: He’s gone, i gave him the tablet of riches

Holga: sh**t an arrow at him 

Edgin: What if you h*t kira?

Holga: That’s a risk we’re going to have to take 

Edgin: Hitting my daughter is not an option

Holga: Simon is a terrible sorcerer 

Edgin; That was two and a half years ago  

Simon: Can’t hold a candle to this trick , you know the smell of fresh cut grass

He’s making off with

Simon: This is part of the act 

Simon: Do you know what kind of magic is protecting the keep?

Edgin: That’s what you’re going to find out 

Simon: Think I can just walk through the shield

The living have befouled this world long enough 

Take solace in knowing the time is near 

Doric: Who are you?

Simon: Simon 

Doric: Simon who?

Simon: Ouch, Simon Olmar 

Doric: What do you want?

Holga: We need a deer 

Doric: Humans, you’re all hateful and selfish

Simon: I’m half human 

Doric: But you’re a bad sorcerer 

Edgin: Can count on him which is why I keep coming back to him

Holga: He’s the only sorcerer he knows 

 Doric: What are you? 

Edgin: I’m a planner , I make the plans 

Doric: You’ve already made the plan, what’s your value now?

Edgin: When the existing plan fails, I make a new plan 

Doric: So you make plans that fail?

Holga: He also plays the flute 

Doric: None of our plans to take down Forge have worked 

We dared question how he came into power, he declared us enemies, ex*cuted our people 

Forge: Taken every measure  imaginable to maintain the asset you wager, new port on every tower , if the alarms raised no-one gets in or out 

What prompted you to resume the games? Lord Neverumber considered them barbaric 

Forge: Neverumber and I are different people

Simon: I’m sick of everyone thinking you can solve every thing with magic, this isn’t a bed time story, this is the real world 

Doric: He just made a whole speech about how you can’t use magic 

Simon: Actually I can, talk to corpses then they die again

Fairly awful

Edgin: Fairly wonderful 

Doric; That’s Marelman?

Edgin: We were all suprised first time we saw him 

I thought your sentence was longer 

Holga: Busted out of there 

Same old Holga 

Holga: How you been? 

Got my garden, working on my book 

Holga: You’ve still got that stick i gave you

You can take it, Gwinn’s not one for rambling 

Gwinn: I’ve heard a lot about you , I would shake your hand , how long you in town?

Holga: Passing through, going to talk to corpses south of Nessmir 

Holga: Does she make you happy? Happier than I did?

She makes her work honestly, doesn’t drink herself silly, make me weep in the small hours wondering where she is 

Holga: I was in pain, I was banished by my tribe to be with you

I built us a home to help you forget 

Holga: Gwinn seems lovely , you deserve that 

When you left, i lost my family, i was lucky enough to find another one, I hope you do too 

Simon: The corpse is revived , ask them five questions

Foric: Why five questions? 

Simon: I don’t know, that’s just how it works

Doric: Seems arbitrary 

Edgin: Were you in the evermores? 

Yes Corpse: Yes 

Edgin: Four more questions?

Yes corpse: Yes 

Edgin: No, not you, did that count as one?

Yes corpse: Yes 

Edgin: Only speak when I’m speaking to you, okay?

Yes 

Simon: Why did you say okay? 

Edgin: Do you know where the helmet of dysjunction is?

It was in posession of my chief, Stonehurt grimwurf 

We knew we outnumbered then but our numbers were no match for the dragon

That’s the last thing I remember 

Simon: Ask him the other four questions

Edgin: What for? 

Simon: Look at the poor bloke 

Edgin: What’s your favourite food?

Oats no barleys 

Edgin: Do you like cats?

Not really

Edgin: What’s two plus two?

I’m bad at math 

Simon: Feel better?

Edgin: No 

Sven Corpse: It was the morning of the battle , i got out of my bath and slipped on a stone 

Edgin: Then you got back in the bath? 

Sven corpse: No, I died from the fall

Edgin; Your chief gave the helmet to you, Van sullivan 

I’m Sven Sullivan, that’s my brother 

Edgin: What’s your favourite book? 

Corpse: Can’t pick just one, historical works, Fanged tomb of lithasus za , that was just the fourth question, shit 

Simon: You’re known as a man of integrity and honour, we can assure you our reasons for using the helmet are noble?

Holga: We’re going to rob someone 

Xenk: Why do you want to take down Forge?

He took the tablet of reawakening  and his daughter 

Holga: In other words he’s a real son of a bitch 

Xenk: So you blame his mother for this corruption?

Holga: No, it’s an expression

Xenk: I don’t travel well in colloquialisms 

Holga: You’re not a lot of fun are you? 

Xenk: Swear on it, swear on the Harper seal you will distribute your wealth to the people of Never winter 

Xenk: Witness to the first hand horrors of the spell, men turned to monsters, turned on their children 

You and I both lost a part of ourselves, what we do with it

Edgin: I don’t trust this guy 

Holga: Even though he’s helping us

Edgin: He’s got something up his sleeve 

Xenk: The only thing up my sleeve is my arm

Edgin: : How did he hear that?

Xenk: I heard that too 

Edgin: I hate you 

Xenk: Consume the brain, Take over the body , they’re drawn to mental energy, the more intelligent, they’re likely to strike 

Edgin: That’s a little hurtful 

Simon: What’s the formula? 

Xenk: Oddly shaped blocks, move forward every fifth step, move laterally

Simon: My foot was on the bridge, didn’t know it started 

Xenk: We must flee 

Holga: Why? You k*lled them all already

Xenk: It’s no simple feat to k*ll that which is already d*ad 

Holga: That’s one pudgy dragon 

Xenk: Thornserd,  he must have found a new den

Edgin: Did he eat the last one? 

Edgin: Thanks for back there 

Xenk: You would have done the same for me 

Edgin: Yeah 

We’re stuck 

Edgin: Portal us out of here 

Simon: I can only portal to what i can see, you want me to portal us from that wall to that wall?

Edgin: It’s salt water, that trick you’ve been working on

Simon: Fresh cut grass

Edgin: No the f*re 

Holga: You want to make him angrier

Edgin: What are you looking at?

Xenk: A harper shaking off its slumber 

Edgin: There he goes, walks in such a straight line, coming 

 up on a rock, is he going to go around it? No, right over it 

Simon Olmar sorcerer descended from wizarding blood 

Simon: Who are you? 

Olmar: You don’t know me, My name is Olmar too

Simon: You’re my great great grandfather 

That’s quite a crown, what makes you think you’re worthy of it?

Simon: I believe in myself?

You’re asking me?

The funny thing about magic is it chooses who wields it 

Simon: I told you it wasn’t going to work but he said to keep it between us for morale 

Edgin: If you can’t attune it, we go to Plan B 

Holga: Plan B? We dug up my family and you knew it wasn’t going to work! 

Doric: You’re human, you lie 

Simon: Aren’t you tired of failing?

Edgin: We have to keep failing, if we stop, that’s when we fail , Holga you left your tribe to be with a man who left you because you were upset about your tribe, if you quit now, that’s in stone 

Simon you’re a petty thief masquerading as a pettier sorceror

Simon: You’re quick to point out our faults, what about you Ed?

Edgin: I’m the champion of failures, i lost everything that mattered to me, you know what k*lled my wife? 

I did, i decided i wanted a better life, i didn’t know red wizards marked their treasure , I brought them to our door 

I didn’t even had the good luck to be there 

Sneak the hitch on something, sneak it on something getting inside 

Edgin; It’s upside down, why would they store it like that? 

Edgin: Plan C is we go back to Plan A 

Holga: Why not call it plan A?

Edgin: Plan A has a sink on it 

Edgin: You’re getting inside that vault not because you can, because you must

Doric: I’m going to keep chipping away, can squeeze through as a worm

Edgin: Plan D if Plan B fails 

Holga: What about Plan B?

Edgin: Plan B stinks too 

How do we get inside? 

Edgin: We distract them , I have a good feeling about Plan C

Edgin; What’s going on?

Simon: My foot’s stuck 

Holga; I think they’re starting to get suspicious 

Edgin: Put us in the high sun games, give us a fighting chance 

Forge: That’s no chance at all 

Simon: Magic suppression cuffs 

Holga: This dummy talked him into putting us in the games 

Edgin: We’re still alive, he put us right above where Forge said he put the treasure 

Doric: Any longer, I would have lost my hand 

Holga: Look what you did lose 

Doric: Jump inside 

Edgin: In that thing?

Holga: You want us to end up like that guy?

Doric: You’ll only be in there a few seconds, when the gong sounds get inside 

Edgin: Who’s going to pull us? 

Doric; I will , trust me 

Always 

Holga: That stings 

Edgin: I really didn’t think that was going to work 

Simon: You assured us it would 

Edgin: Right? You don’t like humans 

Doric: Some are okay, Going back to the Harpers? Be with your people

Edgin: I’m with my people 

Simon: My previous attempts to court you have gone badly, Have you considered giving it another go?

Edgin: Yeah sure 

Simon: Yeah!

Calm down

Forge: As irreprehensible as my actions are, i created a sort of renaissance in the city, even though I’ve only served the first year of my sentence, it’s been eye opening, I look inside myself and wonder what’s going on in there

I think it goes back to my mother, stern woman 

Enough! Your pardon is denied 

Torbo: Jarnathan!

Forge: I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me
{"type": "movie", "show": "Dungeons and Dragons , Honour among thieves ( 2023)", "episode": ""}