THE WITCH IN THE WARDROBE

ACT ONE

TEASER:

[EXT: WOODED AREA. The scene opens in or near a forest clearing and turns to focus on a b*rned-out building. Crows are cawing. The chimney is left standing amongst blackened timber supports. FIREMEN are crawling all over the place. One walks through the building, instructing others.]

FIREMAN 1: Saunders, Dubovich, check these hot spots and we're good to go.

[He turns into what is left of a room and addresses the fireman in it. CONNOR is probably played by Bruno Amato, though iMDb does not address him by name.]

FIREMAN 1: What's up, Connor? Hey, pop this wardrobe. Don't want a flare-up dragging us back out here this weekend.

CONNOR: Yeah.

[CONNOR is wearing a firefighter helmet emblazoned with the number 92. He takes a f*re extinguisher to the wardrobe standing near them. It opens, revealing a skeleton with gray hair, wearing an antique wedding dress. This is "The Witch in the Wardrobe".]

CONNOR: Whoa!

[FIREMAN 1 turns in surprise and stares at the skeleton.]

CONNOR: That's a new one on me.

[The image of the skeleton fades out until we can see just its skull over an image of the Jeffersonian crew arriving sometime later. BRENNAN and BOOTH exit his Suburban, while ANGELA and HODGINS have come in a Prius. They all make their way toward the house. Everyone is wearing Jeffersonian jumpsuits except BOOTH, who is in his typical clothes with beige trench coat. A sheriff car is parked nearby.]

[Unsurprisingly, BRENNAN and BOOTH are engaged in another heated discussion.]

BRENNAN: Order in successful societies depends upon enforced rules.

BOOTH: People can do the right thing left on their own.

BRENNAN: History shows otherwise. A weak government will always spawn mutiny and rebellion.

[The camera turns to reveal two officers standing with the car. One disappears quickly, and the one who remains is SHERIFF GUS ABRAMS, played by Wade Williams and hereafter referred to as SHERIFF.]

BOOTH: You don't believe in human decency under any circumstances?

BRENNAN: Not as a means of controlling a population, no. The result would be anarchy.

SHERIFF: I have to say I agree with the pretty lady on this one. Without the strong arm of the law, we're animals. [He tips his hat.] Sheriff Gus Abrams, thank you for coming out here.

BRENNAN: What caused the f*re?

[BRENNAN and BOOTH follow the SHERIFF into the house, while ANGELA and HODGINS remain outside.]

SHERIFF: Well, it could be arson. The f*re boys say they didn't find any sign of an accelerant. The source of the flame looks like a lit candle.

BRENNAN: Was someone k*lled?

SHERIFF: Well, that's why we asked for you people.

[They all enter the area of the house with the opened wardrobe. SHERIFF and BRENNAN are looking at the skeleton when BOOTH comes in, having taken the long way around. We see ANGELA and HODGINS have moved to do their thing at the side of the house.]

BOOTH [stepping over piles of stuff]: Whoa-ho.

[He comes around and sees the skeleton. This will be later referred to Skeleton 1.]

BOOTH: Whoa! Okay. Is that real, Bones?

[BRENNAN is touching the skeleton's mandible, studying the neck area.]

BRENNAN: Yes.

SHERIFF [uncomfortably]: I was hoping "no."

BRENNAN: The bones were already dry and de-fleshed prior to the f*re.

[Focus on ANGELA and HODGINS unpacking near some rocks.]

BRENNAN [cont]: The victim was elderly, female. [She leans in.] Oh!

BOOTH [looking up from his notes]: "Oh"? Wait, you usually don't say "oh."

BRENNAN: It was an indication of my surprise.

BOOTH: Well, I know that, but why?

BRENNAN: The bones have been rearticulated.

SHERIFF: Is that bad?

BRENNAN: The skeleton has been reassembled, quite amateurishly. [She indicates the lower arm.] See how the right ulna has been placed with the left radius?

BOOTH [semi-sarcastically, pretending he gets it]: Yeah, shoddy. That's shoddy work.

[We return to ANGELA, who is kneeling by the rocks and taking a photo.]

ANGELA: Hey, guys? Yeah? Uh, Hodgins noticed that there's a path all the way around the house.

[Aerial sh*t of BOOTH crossing the "room" to look at what they are talking about. There is a circle of what looks like gray ash, about a foot wide, around the house.]

HODGINS: And Angela noticed that it was a circle.

BOOTH: Looks like it acted as a firebreak.

HODGINS: Also dusted with some fine powder.

[Crows caw. BRENNAN looks up intuitively. The birds are perched in a bare tree some distance away.]

SHERIFF: Oh, those are crows. You city people may not be familiar.

[BRENNAN moves to the birds. The others follow and the crows scatter.]

BRENNAN: Crows are carrion birds, Sheriff. They scavenge for fresh k*ll.

BOOTH: Uh-oh, when she starts flopping her elbows like that, she's hot on the trail for something.

[BOOTH and the others cross the house, following BRENNAN.]

ANGELA: Well, I don't want to think about what she's after.

[They all arrive where BRENNAN is tentatively approaching a bundle in another part of the house. Close-ups reveal a partially crushed skull, mouth open, and covered in a white substance. Everybody, meet Skeleton 2.]

BRENNAN: Booth?

BOOTH: Yeah?

[BRENNAN points.]

BOOTH: Oh. Okay, oh. Let's get this...

[They begin lifting objects from on top of the remains. After a minute they reveal the body. The skeleton is wearing red shoes.]

ALL: Whoa!

ANGELA: Oh, God. [She is anticipating HODGINS' next move:] D-don't say it.

HODGINS: Oh, I've got to. "We aren't in Kansas anymore."

[There is a pause as the skeleton's feet curl.]

BOOTH: Whoa, okay. I don't like it when d*ad things move. Did you see that? It was moving there.

[HODGINS and BRENNAN kneel down, interested. Close-up on the red shoes as the screen blurs to a cut.]

[INT: JEFFERSONIAN. The bodies are on tables on the platform. CAM swipes her card and walks up the stairs.]

CAM: Who do you want to start with? The Wicked Witch of the East over here-East, right?

CLARK: Right. Uh, she wore the red shoes.

BRENNAN: We should start with the more recent remains.

CAM: Which are sealed up. [She puts on gloves.] What is it with this job and corpses encased in mystery wrap?

CLARK: Dr. Hodgins says it's most likely polystyrene ceiling insulation that melted in the f*re and coated the body.

BRENNAN: Could he explain the sparkle?

CLARK: Fluorescent bulbs exploded afterward, shattering over the polystyrene.

BRENNAN: Perhaps you and Dr. Hodgins can find a way to unseal the remains.

CAM: Well, let me see if I can get in here.

[She inserts a magnification tool into the skeleton's nasal cavity. Meanwhile, CLARK is pointing to x-rays of the arms.]

CLARK: Wire ligatures around the wrists indicate foul play.

CAM: No evidence of smoke inhalation. She was d*ad before the f*re.

[She stands and looks at Skeleton 1.]

CAM: Now... that one is just weird.

BRENNAN: These bones were found in a sealed wardrobe. It preserved her in f*re.

CLARK: Uh, female, also Caucasian. Uh, 40 to 50 years old.

BRENNAN: There's evidence of spinal kyphosis, which would have given her a hunched posture. This stain, here on the forehead, is the result of contact with copper. I've seen this before in disinterred bodies because of the copper hardware on coffins.

CAM: So, somebody robbed a grave, strung together a skeleton and stuck it in a wedding dress?

BRENNAN: That's a reasonable conclusion.

CLARK: These are greenstick fractures. Extreme force was applied to the chest. And there's a clean-edged indentation of the spinous processes, L2 and L3.

BRENNAN: Thoracic crushing, combined with the puncture wound... This woman was subjected to a kind of t*rture that was used in the 17th century.

CAM: t*rture?

BRENNAN: These injuries are consistent with a form of punishment used during the Salem Witch Trials.

[Close-up on the skeleton's skull, wisps of gray hair spread over the table.]

CAM [OS]: She was a witch?

[CUT to MAIN TITLE THEME and CREDITS.]

ACT TWO

[EXT: ROAD. A Prius drives toward the camera. ANGELA and HODGINS are in the Prius, leaving the crime scene.]

ANGELA [from inside car]: You know what I think? I think Cam sent us both to the crime scene because of the tension between us.

[Camera is now inside the car. HODGINS is driving. ANGELA is fiddling with her camera, not looking at him.]

HODGINS: "Tension"? Hey, there's no tension between us.

ANGELA: Yeah, at first I thought it was because I'm suddenly--I don't know--available again. And then I thought maybe it was because you think that I treated Wendell badly.

[She looks at him.]

HODGINS: Hold on. Wendell said that it was totally mutual. He said that you were wonderful.

ANGELA: I'm not sure how I feel about you two discussing me.

HODGINS: Not "discussing" you. Complimenting you.

[She gives him a look.]

HODGINS: Okay, fine. No more compliments. [pause] You don't look good today. Your smile is ordinary at best, and it is not cool that we finally get to work together again in the field.

ANGELA: Okay, that's fine. I can live with that.

[There is a beep from the camera as she finds a picture to show him.]

ANGELA: Yeah, this symbol is very creepy on this chimney.

HODGINS: All right, let me see.

ANGELA: See?

HODGINS: Oh, yeah. It could be a lot of things.

[He is distracted by the pictures and outside the car, we see he drifts across the lane. There is an alarm from inside the car and he jerks the car back to safety.]

HODGINS: Whoa! What is that?

ANGELA: Oh, the Prius helps you stay in your lane. [She indicates an area of the console.] That's kind of cool.

HODGINS: It is cool. Let's do that again.

[He does. The SHERIFF is driving behind him, sees him swerve lanes and turns on the sirens.]

HODGINS: Oh, that is not cool.

ANGELA: I didn't even see him there. That's pretty sneaky. Pull over. I'll pour on the charm.

[They pull over. SHERIFF approaches the car. HODGINS sees him in the side windows]

HODGINS: It's Sheriff Abrams from the crime scene.

ANGELA: Oh.

HODGINS: Oh, perfect.

SHERIFF: Good afternoon, sir. I observed you crossing the double-yellow. How much have you had to drink today?

HODGINS: Sheriff Abrams, it's us. Hodgins and Angela. We just left the crime scene. We're heading up north to drop off our stuff at the lab.

SHERIFF: I know, Dr. Hodgins. I'm just following the law. Have you had anything to drink today?

ANGELA [flirting]: Hi, Sheriff. Listen, um, I really do like a man in uniform who loves his job. So, uh, neither one of us has had anything to drink. No.

SHERIFF [leaning down]: Hello, Ms. Montenegro. But I'm afraid I need the driver to respond.

HODGINS [sarcastically]: Yeah, yeah, I've had several martinis, some absinthe and a barrel of mead.

SHERIFF: License and registration, please.

ANGELA: He was kidding. He's just being an idiot.

SHERIFF: You, too, please.

[CUT.]

[INT: DINER. SWEETS, BRENNAN and BOOTH are seated at the bar.]

SWEETS: A real Salem witch? That's awesome!

BOOTH: Relax. Simmer down.

BRENNAN: The strontium isotope results verify Massachusetts.

SWEETS: Oh! Can I see it?

BOOTH: What's the big deal?

SWEETS: My first published work concerned the collective sociopathology behind the Salem Witch Trials. I'm a leading expert.

BOOTH: Shrinkery meets witchery. [To BRENNAN] Now, your head's probably about

ready to explode, huh?

BRENNAN: It's a completely acceptable arena of study, even for a psychologist.

SWEETS: Thank you. At last, I feel validated.

BRENNAN: Most cultures believe that some sort of supernatural power can be elicited through ritual. Like, uh, you going to church.

BOOTH: Right. Well, at least I don't ride there on my broomstick.

SWEETS: Most witches align themselves with the Wiccans, but witchcraft is an extremely heterogeneous subject which encompasses the dark arts like evil spells, sacrifices...

BOOTH: So you're saying this creepy, old witch came back from the d*ad to k*ll this victim?

BRENNAN: No.

SWEETS: No, no. Of course not, but we are talking about a three-century-year-old body that was rearticulated and costumed as a virgin, are we not, Dr. Brennan?

BRENNAN: Well, given that women in those times were expected to be virgins on their wedding days, that's... reasonable.

SWEETS: I want to work on the case.

BOOTH: What are you going to do, cast a spell? Heh.

SWEETS: I want to see if I could find a link between the old witch and the new witch.

BOOTH: All right, you know what? Go for it. It's all yours.

BRENNAN: There's no evidence that the other victim was a witch.

BOOTH: Aside from the fact that she was wearing red slippers and her feet curled up after she was d*ad.

[His phone rings.]

BOOTH [into phone]: Booth.

SWEETS: What?

BRENNAN: There's a completely scientific explanation for it.

BOOTH [into phone, repeating what he's been told]: B-Y-R-D, Cheri Byrd.

[He hangs up.]

BOOTH: That creepy house belonged to a woman by the name of Cheri Byrd, and she has a surviving brother.

[CUT.]

[INT: BOOTH'S OFFICE. BOOTH is there with the victim's brother JESSE, played by Peter Holden.]

JESSE: Are you sure it's Cheri?

BOOTH: Dental records confirm her identity. When was the last time you spoke to your sister?

JESSE: Two, three months ago. Someone made an offer on the house. Our grandfather left it to us both. I wanted to sell. She refused. We haven't spoken since.

BOOTH: You don't seem too surprised that she's d*ad.

JESSE: Cheri and I used to be really close. You know, but, uh, last ten years, she got into some really... weird stuff.

BOOTH: Witchcraft?

JESSE: Yeah.

BOOTH: Mm-hmm.

JESSE: Started ordering us to call her Zephyra. I told her I wouldn't. Thought it was stupid.

BOOTH: The fact that she didn't sell the house, that didn't get you upset or angry?

JESSE: No. No, I didn't care about the money. I, I wanted her to move to the city. Thought her mind might go back to normal if she saw more people.

BOOTH: Who wanted to buy the house?

JESSE: Guy named Mario Trivisini, Trivisonno... Making some big development. Said Cheri's place was the key.

BOOTH: "The key," why?

JESSE: Lake access. When Cheri said no, he had to give up on the whole project.

[CUT.]

[INT: HODGINS' OFFICE. CLARK is performing an experiment in HODGINS' absence. There is a contraption with solutions trickling into Styrofoam cups. CLARK tinkers with it. CAM appears in the doorway.]

CAM: Oh. You're not Hodgins.

CLARK: He's not here, and I can't wait any longer.

CAM [puzzled]: Wait for what?

CLARK: Dr. Brennan wants me to identify the best solvent to remove polystyrene from the bones. So I put myself in the mindset of Dr. Hodgins and came up with this experiment.

CAM: I have a new appreciation for Dr. Hodgins.

[There is an awkward pause.]

CLARK: ...Okay. [He continues, indicating.] This device slowly fills each polystyrene cup up with kerosene, propylene, turpentine, hydrochloric acid and...

[He turns the last one on.]

CLARK: ...acetone. Oh!

[We see the acetone cup has entirely melted.]

CLARK [pleased]: Acetone!

[As the cup melts into the bowl it lands in, the bowl overbalances and tips, bumping the other bowls.

CLARK: Whoa! Oh!

[They all fall and CLARK quickly turns off the chemicals.]

[CAM is watching with a hint of exasperation and amusement. She is clearly not getting involved.]

CAM: It's not like Hodgins to be late. Can you come get me as soon as he shows up?

CLARK: Mm-hmm.

[She prepares to leave, then pauses.]

CAM: And I think the acetone is eating through your shoes.

CLARK: What? [He looks down.] Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. Oh, I love these shoes. [He wipes them frantically with paper towel.]

[CUT.]

[INT: JAIL. SHERIFF is on the phone down the hall and we pan to ANGELA and HODGINS. They are in a cell.]

HODGINS [sounding jaded]: We live in a fascist state.

ANGELA: If you know that, then why did you taunt the guy with the g*n?

HODGINS: You expect me to just roll over?

ANGELA: No. Praying that you do, though.

[The camera shows SHERIFF approaching.]

ANGELA: Okay, here he comes. Listen, Hodgins, be nice, or I will cause you great pain.

[SHERIFF comes to the cell.]

HODGINS: So, uh, have we cleared this up, Officer?

SHERIFF: Not quite. Now the problem is that Miss Montenegro here is a criminal. I found an outstanding bench warrant on you, young lady.

HODGINS: What?

ANGELA: For what?

SHERIFF: For defying a notice to appear on a speeding charge.

ANGELA: Oh. Yeah, well, that, I didn't speed.

SHERIFF: But you did defy a bench warrant, which is worse than speeding. And Dr. Hodgins, you also have a warrant for escaping police custody during a Freedom of Information protest eight years ago.

HODGINS: People have a right to know.

SHERIFF: But not a right to run away.

[HODGINS and ANGELA both clearly think this is ridiculous.]

ANGELA: Okay... all right, listen. I will appear, and Hodgins will... surrender, as soon as we get back, okay? Word of honor.

SHERIFF: It's not up to me. I can't let you go until the judge rules on your warrants.

HODGINS: Well, when will that be?

SHERIFF: Whenever one shows up. In the meantime, I suggest you two make the best of things, the best you can.

HODGINS: Hey! No. Hey!

[He turns to ANGELA.]

HODGINS [incredulously]: Speeding?

ANGELA [annoyed]: Don't you dare.

[CUT.]

ACT THREE

[INT: FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. BOOTH enters with a file in his hand. The camera pants to MARIO, who is completely bald. He is played by Joel Polis.]

BOOTH: Oh, thanks so much for coming in there, Mr. Trivisi...?

MARIO: Trivisonno. Trivisonno Properties.

BOOTH: Right.

MARIO: So, hey, this is something new, for me to be called in by the FBI. What's this all about?

[BOOTH shows MARIO a photo of the house.]

MARIO: Yeah. I-I know this house. [He slides the picture back.]

BOOTH: Bet you get a good deal on that now, huh?

MARIO: Yeah, why is that? [He places his hat on the picture, covering it.]

BOOTH [sitting down]: You don't know where I'm going with this, pal?

MARIO: Maybe it was your aunt that lived there?

[BOOTH waits for him to get it.]

MARIO: You're... You're thinking I want to buy the place now? No way. I learned my lesson.

BOOTH: What-What do you mean you learned your lesson?

MARIO: You see me now? [Holds up license, in which he has a full head of hair.] You see me there?

MARIO: See the difference?

BOOTH: Yeah. You shaved your head.

MARIO: No, I did not shave my head. Your aunt put a curse on me, and all the hairs fell off my body. All the important ones.

BOOTH: All right, first of all, Cheri Byrd is not my aunt. And secondly, she's d*ad.

MARIO: Well, here's hoping a curse loses its oomph after the voodoo lady dies.

BOOTH: Well, apparently, she was m*rder, so, you want to know what I'm thinking? Guy thinks he's cursed, he loses his hair, and he wants her d*ad.

MARIO: No, no. You-you couldn't have got me anywhere near that lady. Not to k*ll her, not for anything. She painted this symbol on the bricks on the chimney, and inside, there was all this spooky stuff. Black candles. The day she cursed me, there was a d*ad cat laid out on the dining room table.

BOOTH: So, you ditched the project?

MARIO: A month ago. I'm a professional. You think I need it to get around that an evil witch lived on the development? I know when to cut and run. [He runs his hand wistfully over his head.] Just wish I'd done it a week earlier.

[CUT.]

[INT: JEFFERSONIAN. CLARK is inspecting Skeleton 2 as BRENNAN swipes her card to access the platform.]

BRENNAN: Hodgins isn't back yet?

CLARK: No, but I've made some progress. I found this. Sharp instrument trauma on the xiphoid process of the sternum. And anteriomedial aspect of ribs 1 and 4, bilaterally.

BRENNAN: She was s*ab repeatedly.

CLARK: Yeah.

BRENNAN: Make casts to analyze the striations and kerf characteristics to determine the w*apon.

CLARK: Oh.

[He retrieves a tray, on which there is a glob of resin-like matter in a petri dish.]

CLARK: I also found this on the manubrium.

BRENNAN: What is it?

CLARK: That's a Dr. Hodgins job. If we had him... which we don't.

BRENNAN: And you haven't heard from him at all?

CLARK: He and Angela never came back last night. And since they used to be intimates, I decided not to push it 'cause that's none of my concern. None at all. It's a little icky, actually.

BRENNAN: It's not like them to just disappear; something could be wrong.

[The phone rings. They both look at it.]

[Cut to the jail. Angela is on the phone. HODGINS is pacing around the cell.]

ANGELA: Oh, oh, it's ringing.

HODGINS: Just tell them we've got all the evidence from the crime scene.

They'll get us out.

ANGELA: Okay.

[At the lab, BRENNAN reads the phone display: "Angela Montenegro".]

[She answers, putting the phone on speaker.]

BRENNAN: Angela?

[Cut to ANGELA in jail.]

ANGELA: Yeah, hi.

HODGINS [leaning to phone]: And Hodgins. Help!

[Cut to lab.]

BRENNAN: Where are you?

ANGELA: We're in Berryville.

[Jail.]

ANGELA: Maryland--we're... in jail.

[Lab.]

BRENNAN: Wha-why are you in jail?

[Jail.]

ANGELA: Well, it goes a little like this: uh, Hodgins got pulled over for driving like an old lady. And then we...

HODGINS: Yeah, and Angela had an outstanding bench warrant.

[Lab.]

ANGELA: Oh, you have a warrant, too, Mr. Clean.

BRENNAN: Where is the evidence you collected yesterday?

HODGINS [through phone]: It's in jail with us.

[Jail.]

ANGELA: We're stuck here until the judge shows up to set our bail, and who knows when that's going to be.

[Lab.]

BRENNAN: Well, we need that evidence. I'll tell Cam to come and get you.

[Jail. HODGINS grabs the phone.]

HODGINS [into phone]: Okay, also, uh, will you tell Clark to throw a blanket over my molting swallowtail caterpillars at 4:30, or they will die.

[Lab. BRENNAN looks at CLARK, who makes a face and nods.]

BRENNAN: Okay.

[She hangs up.]

[Cut to jail.]

HODGINS [happily]: Yes.

ANGELA: Yes!

[To Sheriff off-screen.]

HODGINS: Well... I'm afraid we might have to check out a little early there, pal. I hope that's okay.

BOOTH [OS]: You know, that sheriff out in Podunk was a decent guy.

[CUT.]

[INT: DINER. BRENNAN, BOOTH and SWEETS are eating.]

BOOTH [cont]: I'm sure Hodgins getting arrested, really good reason.

SWEETS: So, I've been thinking about d*ad cats.

BRENNAN: That doesn't seem like a good use of your time.

SWEETS: Witches, the bad kind, use animal sacrifices in their spells. Black cats are particularly meaningful.

BOOTH: I told Sweets that the developer saw a d*ad cat on the victim's dining room table before he went bald.

BRENNAN: What's the connection?

BOOTH: He thinks that she put a spell on him.

SWEETS: You should talk to their local coven.

BOOTH: Wait a second. There's a local coven?

SWEETS: Uh-huh. The Circle of Moonwick.

BRENNAN: You said that Wiccans were good, whereas the victim was bad.

BOOTH: Yeah, they're probably competing for the same eye of newt.

BRENNAN: No, Wiccan ceremonies honor nature and the sanctity of life above all else. They don't use eye of newt.

SWEETS: Okay, tonight is their Waning Moon ceremony. Now, logged into their website, using the name Lilith82. I, uh, I got directions.

[He unfolds a piece of paper and passes down the table.]

BOOTH [taking paper]: Witches have websites? Gotta love the Internet, huh? So, witch hunt tonight?

BRENNAN: All right.

BOOTH: If you bring the candles, I'll bring the broomstick.

[CUT.]

[INT: JAIL. HODGINS is lying on a bench.]

ANGELA [OS]: This is the hardest bench that I have ever sat on in my life.

HODGINS: Sat on? Slept on.

[He sits up. ANGELA rubs her neck wearily.]

ANGELA: My shoulders are k*lling me.

Hodgins [agreeing]: Tell me about it. [pause] Come here.

ANGELA: Why?

HODGINS: I'll give you a little rub. You know, work out the kinks.

[She looks at him.]

HODGINS: Are you really that mad at me that you don't want a little massage?

ANGELA: Okay. Only because I hurt.

[HODGINS begins to rub her shoulders. It's clearly a... very enjoyable massage.]

ANGELA: Oh... yeah. Ohh, oh, yes.

[Oh, wait. These are unmistakable sex noises.]

ANGELA: Yes, down, down. A little lower. Lower. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, thank you, God. Oh...

Hodgins [grinning]: "God" is a little formal. "Hodgins" is fine.

ANGELA: Oh, yes. Harder, right there. Right there. Right there, oh...

[CAM is approaching.]

ANGELA [cont]: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

CAM: Looks to me like, uh, you two are doing just fine in here.

[Oops. The massage stops and they sheepishly look at CAM.]

ANGELA: Oh, uh...

HODGINS: Cam! Hey! So? Did you spring us?

Cam [to Sheriff]: These two aren't exactly Bonnie and Clyde. Can't you let them go?

SHERIFF: Not until the judge gets here.

CAM: Well, I'll post bail, pay the fine--whatever. We need them to solve this m*rder.

SHERIFF: You have the evidence. They can be reached here any time to assist.

CAM: Don't you think you're being a little... rigid?

SHERIFF: You are a law enforcement professional, are you not, ma'am?

CAM: Yes, but...

SHERIFF: Well, then you know that the law can't be twisted to our will or chaos will ensue. I mean, where does it end? Today, a seemingly minor bench warrant, tomorrow we overlook another piece of paper and a m*rder goes free.

[CAM fixes him with an incredulous look. He shrugs.]

CAM: Wow. You are like the last upright man in America.

SHERIFF [bashful]: Well, I wouldn't say that. But I am a good sheriff. [He gives her the box of evidence.] And I love the law.

CAM: That's very impressive, Sheriff.

[HODGINS and ANGELA have been watching from the jail cell.]

HODGINS: Oh, my God, he's getting to her.

[CAM returns to them apologetically.]

CAM: I'm... sure the judge will be coming soon.

ANGELA: No, no, no, no, you're kidding, right?

CAM: Sorry. It was like arguing with one of the Founding Fathers. I've got the evidence. We'll talk, okay?

ANGELA: Oh, my God.

HODGINS: No.

ANGELA: Cam!

HODGINS: No!

ANGELA: Cam?

CAM: See you guys later.

HODGINS: Hey!

[CUT.]

[EXT: MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Nighttime. BRENNAN and BOOTH are crunching through the bushes, armed with a flashlight. They speak in hushed whispers.]

BRENNAN: Could you not walk so loudly?

BOOTH: Don't tell me that you're afraid of witches.

BRENNAN: Wiccans, and no, but why waste an opportunity to observe them when they don't know they're being observed?

BOOTH: You want to spy on witches?

BRENNAN: Wiccans. No, I want you to spy on them, while I study them anthropologically.

[They can now see the witc-sorry, Wiccans.]

BOOTH: Ground zero.

WICCANS: [chanting in Latin. The chant is repeated over and over throughout the whole scene.]

[BOOTH and BRENNAN scurry to a larger bush and peep over the top.]

BRENNAN: It's fascinating.

[The WICCANS continue to chant. One, Rowan, takes a handful of something from a pot and scatters it, then picks something up.]

BOOTH: What are they doing with that Blair Witch thingy?

BRENNAN: It's a miniature effigy...

WICCANS: [chanting, growing in intensity. They light the effigy.]

[As BOOTH and BRENNAN watch in surprise, the WICCANS begin dancing to a rhythmic drum b*at, removing their robes. They are naked.]

BOOTH: Oh... Okay, why is it when things like this happen, it always happens to people you don't want to see naked, huh?

[CUT.]

ACT FOUR

[EXT: SAME PLACE. Some time later. The ceremony is over and now BOOTH and BRENNAN walk along a road accompanied by two WICCANS, once more in robes. The blonde is Rowan, played by Kate Vernon, and the brunette is Ember, played by Jillian Bach.]

BOOTH: Okay, so we have Rowan and... Eden, right?

EMBER: Ember.

BOOTH: Ember. Exactly.

BRENNAN: Ember?

ROWAN: We'll give you the names society assigned to us, but not while in the Sacred Grove.

BOOTH: Oh, okay, dancing naked is okay, but Christian names are forbidden. Got it.

ROWAN: We weren't doing anything wrong. Why are you disrupting a religious service?

BOOTH: You know what happened to your friend Zephyra?

BRENNAN [holding up the effigy in a bag]: Is this by any chance a totem representing her?

EMBER: We were marking the end of Zephyra's corporeal life.

ROWAN: Celebrating the unification of her spirit with the elements.

BRENNAN: Why would you do that? Unless she was a member of your coven.

ROWAN: She was not one of us.

BOOTH: A bad witch.

ROWAN: Sadly, Zephyra performed magic for profit. She was known to use human relics.

BRENNAN: Such as the body of a Salem witch?

ROWAN: I don't know where she would get something like that, but that would be an immensely powerful relic, yes.

BOOTH: Oh, so she has other clients. Well, we're going to have to talk to them.

ROWAN: The dark arts are fragile, Agent Booth. Zephyra's clients employed her to do evil.

BOOTH: Bad people getting other bad people to do bad things.

[CUT.]

[INT: BONE ROOM. CLARK is inspecting a bone through a microscope.]

CAM [with box]: What's that?

CLARK: Fragments of the hyoid and the throat cartilage. Some of the smaller bones were broken when the house collapsed. They're very difficult to clean. I may need to go back in with the acetone.

CAM [setting down and unpacking box]: Well, it's time to multi-task. I have the evidence Angela and Hodgins gathered from the scene.

CLARK: I thought your intention was to bring back Hodgins and Angela.

CAM: Well, they had to wait for the judge, and you can't bend the law to help your friends.

CLARK: So... we're going to do this without them.

CAM: Well, they can coach us and consult, but, yeah, it's you and me.

CLARK [holding up a tube of dirt warily]: So you expect me to deal with dirt. Great.

[CUT.]

[INT: JAIL CELL. A small object just misses the mouth of a Styrofoam cup on the floor. The camera pans back to reveal ANGELA and HODGINS sitting on the floor.]

HODGINS: Ooh, close, but now I'm up 18 cents.

ANGELA: Yeah, for now.

[She throws and it lands in the cup.]

HODGINS: Nice!

ANGELA: Oh, yes!

HODGINS: Wow!

ANGELA: Only 17.

HODGINS: Do you realize how long it's been since we've spent this much time together? Outside the lab, I mean?

ANGELA: Yeah, I know. God. I keep thinking about that, that crappy cabin that we stayed in, in the mountains. Do you remember that? 30 degrees, there was no heat.

HODGINS: Yeah. Oh, man, this jail is way better than that cabin.

ANGELA: That was a good weekend, though.

HODGINS: Mm-hmm. Keeping warm.

ANGELA: Yeah.

[There is a noise and they both look up. SHERIFF is wheeling a computer to them.]

SHERIFF: Your lab called. This computer may not be state-of-the-art, but we got the Internets.

HODGINS: Sure. Let's, uh, throw some coal in that thing and f*re it up.

[CUT.]

[INT: BOOTH'S OFFICE. BOOTH is exiting but SWEETS arrives with an enormous stack of books.]

SWEETS [nearly crashing into him]: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Cheri Byrd was a dark witch, perhaps even a Satanist.

BOOTH: Yeah, well, the Wiccans really seemed afraid of her. What is all this?

SWEETS: Well, I found the transcripts of the Salem Witch Trials. I thought maybe we could identify the remains that Cheri Byrd dressed up in the wedding dress. Check that out.

BOOTH [reading]: "Prudence Sullivan, female. 48 years of age, of small stature with back bent as though burdened by great weight of guilt"?

SWEETS: Guilt. Yeah, it sort of matches Dr. Brennan's description, right? Check this out.

BOOTH: "Old, short, hunched over." Sounds like every other witch.

SWEETS: No, no, no, that's a stereotype. 48 is old?

BOOTH: Well, it was back then. I can't believe you got all this stuff.

SWEETS: Okay, trust me, a Salem witch doesn't just show up in Maryland. Her grave was robbed for a reason. I know my witches, all right?

[The books fall.]

BOOTH: Sorry.

SWEETS: Ah!

BOOTH: Just put it down. Relax. Slow down. Just sit.

SWEETS: I did so...

BOOTH: Shh!

SWEETS: ...so much reading.

[CUT.]

[INT: LAB. CAM and CLARK look at HODGINS and ANGELA via the video link.]

CLARK: Nice cell.

HODGINS [on camera]: It's not much, but we call it home.

ANGELA: Yeah, we're thinking of redoing the kitchen.

HODGINS [looking at resiny substance]: Okay, it's amber. Uh, it melts at 400 to 700 degrees Fahrenheit--temperatures easily reached in the f*re.

ANGELA: Is that a bug in there?

HODGINS: Oh, yeah, baby. Check out those tibial bristles.

[SHERIFF leans in to see. He is wedged between the computer and the cell bars. His head appears on camera and CAM chuckles under her breath.]

ANGELA: There's plenty of room in here, Sheriff, if you want to join us.

SHERIFF [standing quickly]: Oh, that's against regulations.

HODGINS: Okay, you can verify with the Entomology Department, but I'm fairly certain we're looking at Nedocosia naiba. It's a fungus gnat.

CLARK: Okay, does that help with time of death?

HODGINS: No. This gnat would have had his last fungus about a hundred million years ago in the Lower Cretaceous.

ANGELA [jokingly]: Hmm. So, if we remove the DNA, we could re-create dinosaurs, right?

HODGINS: It was probably an amber pendant from an ordinary piece of jewelry.

ANGELA [looking in]: What's with the hair?

CLARK: What hair?

HODGINS: Oh, yeah, she's right. Hey, check out the speck at three o'clock. The amber probably picked up a piece of hair when it melted in the f*re.

CLARK: But our victim's hair was gray and wavy.

HODGINS: Yeah, but this one is dark.

CAM: Well, if the root bulb's present, it could be an indicator that the hair was forcibly removed.

SHERIFF: So it could be from the perp.

[They all look at him.]

SHERIFF: I'm sorry. Caught up in the thrill of the chase.

CAM: I'll run DNA. So how are you guys doing?

ANGELA: Uh, well, I mean, we'd-we'd like to get out of here, if that's what you mean.

CAM: I'm sure you will. Thanks, guys.

[CUT.]

[INT: PLATFORM. BRENNAN is leaning over remains and CAM enters.]

CAM: The hair in the amber gave us a h*t. CODIS says it belongs to one Murray Huddler, convicted of as*ault in 2008, paroled last October. Now this may possibly go towards motive.

[She brings up an article onscreen.]

CAM: It certainly goes toward "creepy coincidence."

BRENNAN [reading]: "Dumped Hubby Decks Attorney." So this man was incarcerated for as*ault his ex-wife's attorney?

CAM: Huddler's wife dumped him, hosed him in a divorce, then married the lawyer that represented her. But look at this.

[She zooms in on wedding picture.]

CAM: Anything look familiar to you?

BRENNAN [pointing to wedding dress]: She's wearing this dress.

[CUT.]

ACT FIVE

[INT: FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. BOOTH is interrogating MURRAY HUDDLER, played by Chris Ufland.]

BOOTH: Murray Huddler.

MURRAY: Yeah.

BOOTH: You know a woman by the name of Cheri Byrd?

MURRAY: No.

BOOTH: How about a witch named Zephyra?

MURRAY. Oh.

BOOTH: Oh, yeah, I'll take that as a yes.

MURRAY: I hired her.

BOOTH: Hired her for...?

MURRAY: To put a hex on my bitch ex-wife, okay? Is that illegal?

BOOTH: Well, Zephyra's d*ad. She was m*rder, house torched.

MURRAY: You think I did it.

BOOTH: Well, I don't know. Depends how much you paid for the hex.

MURRAY: Two grand up front. Three if it took.

BOOTH: Did it take?

MURRAY: No, it did not take.

BOOTH: Ooh. You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking you k*lled Zephyra, and in the struggle, she yanked out some of your hair.

MURRAY: No, I gave her my hair for the spell. That and my ex-wife's wedding dress.

BOOTH: Right.

[He pulls out a Kn*fe in an evidence bag.]

BOOTH: We found that in your truck.

MURRAY: That's not what you think it is. I went fishing on Friday.

BOOTH: Fishing? Okay, right. But you do know if this blade matches the s*ab marks on Cheri Byrd's bones, that could spell trouble for you.

CLARK [OS]: Huddler's fishing Kn*fe.

[CUT.]

[INT: BONE ROOM. CLARK, CAM and BRENNAN gather around.]

CLARK [cont]: ...is thin, very sharp on one edge, and has a slight curve at the tip.

BRENNAN: The blade that made these cuts is thicker, evenly tapered and sharp on both edges, like a dagger.

CAM: Definitely not a match.

BRENNAN: What's this?

CLARK: Fragments of the hyoid and throat cartilage, damaged by a f*re and crushed by a house. The acetone probably didn't help.

BRENNAN: These bones certainly resemble the hyoid and surrounding cartilage, but not all of these are human.

CLARK: What?

[They all lean in.]

[CUT.]

[INT: JAIL HALLWAY. HODGINS and ANGELA are consulting online.]

ANGELA: Okay, is this whole witchy thing about to get creepier?

BRENNAN: This looks like part of a tiny joint. I believe these bones are the incomplete skeleton of a small animal. What do you think?

HODGINS: You know, it's a little outside my expertise, but they look like bat bones to me. You missed that, Clark?

BRENNAN: Clark's error is completely understandable, given the condition of these remains and the bizarre nature of these circumstances.

CLARK: Thank you, Dr. Brennan.

HODGINS: Yeah, but I made the call on a piece-of-crap cathode-ray tube while in jail.

CLARK: Oh, that's right: you're a criminal.

CAM: Are we thinking a woman had a bat shoved down her throat? Yes, that's exactly what happened.

CLARK: Well, thank you, Dr. Hodgins.

[He disables video link.]

HODGINS: What?

ANGELA: Ugh...

HODGINS [holding up penny]: Another round?

ANGELA: Really? You sure? You're down 31 cents.

[Skip to when HODGINS has tried to throw the penny in the cup again.]

HODGINS [penny misses cup]: Oh!

ANGELA: Yes! 32.

[She retrieves the penny. There is a long pause. They look at each other, smiles fading.]

HODGINS [suspiciously]: What?

ANGELA: Do you ever wonder what happened to us? On the day we broke up?

HODGINS: Yeah, every day. I run through that conversation word-for-word.

ANGELA: Me, too.

HODGINS: You said, "All you had to do was trust me."

ANGELA: And you said, "Hey, you're the one who's leaving."

HODGINS: And then you said, "You're the one who isn't stopping me."

ANGELA: And I left.

HODGINS: Yeah.

ANGELA: Right. Well, I wish I hadn't.

HODGINS: The biggest regret of my life is I didn't stop you.

ANGELA: Yeah, what was up with that?

HODGINS: Uh... I panicked. I lost faith that I could sustain that kind of happiness.

ANGELA: Hmm. You talk to Sweets?

HODGINS: Kid's got the goods.

ANGELA: Yeah. It was like we were both playing chicken, and then we... we both swerved.

HODGINS: What we should have done is crashed right into each other.

ANGELA: At the speed of light.

[There is a pause. They look at each other. They both close the distance between them and kiss passionately.]

SHERIFF: The judge is here.

[They break apart awkwardly. HODGINS clears his throat and looks at JUDGE FLOYD BARBER, played by William Stanford Davis. He is wearing a jacket and bowtie.]

HODGINS: The judge is a barber.

JUDGE: Keeps me grounded.

SHERIFF: And it's against the rules for prisoners to fraternize sexually while in custody.

JUDGE: Maybe give it a rest, huh, Gus? Let's get you two out of here.

[Left to themselves, ANGELA and HODGINS look at each other for a moment, then smile and lace their fingers together.]

[CUT.]

[EXT: DINER. We see BOOTH and BRENNAN through the window.]

BOOTH: Bat bones?

BRENNAN: Myotis albescens. It's not indigenous to the United States, but the bones are available online.

BOOTH. Like everything else. I'll look into it.

[Inside the diner, SWEETS enters hurriedly. We follow him to the table.]

SWEETS: So, I think I've identified our skeleton bride.

BOOTH: Look at that!

BRENNAN: You identified human remains?

SWEETS: Dr. Brennan, you said that the woman was subjected to a form of t*rture known as "pressing," right?

BRENNAN: Yes. That's how I surmised we were dealing with the remains of a Salem witch.

SWEETS: In fact, only one Salem witch died as a result of pressing. Well, one female; there was an 80-year-old man... you don't, you don't care

about the old man, do you?

BOOTH [reading]: Emily Quimby, died November 1692.

SWEETS: Buried in Salem in unconsecrated ground, of course, but her grave was robbed six months ago.

BRENNAN: You think the victim dug up the old witch's bones to increase her own power?

SWEETS: Absolutely.

BRENNAN: This is interesting, but not pertinent to the case.

SWEETS: Wait for it.

BOOTH: Wait for it. Here it is.

SWEETS: Upon finding Emily Quimby's grave, I, uh, researched her family tree, and there's a 16-generation remove, but look.

BOOTH [reading]: "Mary Harden Trent."

SWEETS: Direct descendant.

BRENNAN: Why is that name familiar?

SWEETS: Mary Harden Trent is a member of the Circle of Moonwick Coven. Her witch name is "Ember."

BOOTH: Oh, digging up Great-Grandma is not the worst motive for m*rder I've ever heard.

[CUT.]

[INT: JAIL HALLWAY. JUDGE and SHERIFF are walking toward the cell.]

JUDGE: All right, what I'm doing here is releasing you two on your own recognizance.

ANGELA: Oh, thank you.

HODGINS: Yes, we will pay our fines and make our court appearances.

JUDGE: I'm sure you will. Gus will come after you if you don't follow the letter of the law. Let me notarize this stuff and get you on your way.

HODGINS: Thank you. How long did he say he'd be gone?

[CUT.]

[INT: FBI INTERROGATION ROOM with BOOTH, BRENNAN and MARY HARDEN TRENT.

BOOTH: Mary Harden Trent. That is your signature, correct?

EMBER: Yes, though I prefer to go by "Ember."

BOOTH: Okay, what do you say we just step outside your little magic forest, stay on point, okay? Our credit card records show that you purchased bat bones online. That true?

EMBER: Bat bones are an integral part of my religion.

BOOTH: Did you shove those bat bones down her throat before or after you s*ab her?

EMBER: No! No, I swear upon the goddess that I'm incapable of such v*olence.

BRENNAN: How tall are you?

EMBER: Five-two?

BRENNAN: She may be too small to inflict the injuries that k*lled our victim.

BOOTH [thumbing through a large book]: She may be small, but she's full of anger.

[He drops the book onto the table with a bang.]

BOOTH: There. That is your great-great-something-grandmother Emily Quimby.

BRENNAN: She was a witch, too.

EMBER: Yes, and she didn't deserve to die.

BOOTH: What, did you boast to Zephyra that witchism ran in your family?

BRENNAN: Then she dug up your ancestor's bones to use them in what you call "dark rites."

EMBER: What are you talking about? How could anyone do something like that? I-I had no idea!

[CUT.]

ACT SIX

[INT: JEFFERSONIAN HALLWAY. BRENNAN is walking swiftly and SWEETS follows. CLARK is approaching. They all enter the bone room.]

CLARK: Dr. Brennan. I finally got the results back on the powder Dr. Hodgins collected on the pathway around the victim's house.

SWEETS: Oh, the circular path. Yeah, yeah. Usually the person standing inside the circle is safe from the dark forces. In this case, oddly, everything inside the circle was destroyed.

CLARK: So the powder was...

BRENNAN: Angela isn't here for a computer re-creation, so we have to make do.

[CLARK distributes rubber gloves.]

BRENNAN: Please hold 1 and 4 in the proper position. Sweets, it's bilateral; do the same. Booth believes a witch named Ember to be the k*ller, but the victim was a large heavily muscled woman.

CLARK: But Ember wasn't strong enough.

BRENNAN: I observed her in the woods. She and the other Wiccans were standing in a circle, taking turns with their ceremonial object. These s*ab marks... reflect a similar pattern.

[She goes to the wall where x-rays are displayed.]

BRENNAN: Now these injuries... are clustered. [She takes a pen and marks the points on the x-ray.] Five groupings of three.

CLARK: So a total of 15 strikes.

SWEETS: In the same pattern as the dots on the chimney.

[BRENNAN links the marks to create a pentagram.]

SWEETS [cont]: It's a pentagram. It's an ancient Wiccan symbol that stands for solidarity--some say sisterhood.

BRENNAN: There are 15 women in the Circle of Moonwick. [She circles the points.] Ember alone wasn't the k*ller. The entire coven took part.

SWEETS: No, they're Wiccans, though. They're white witches. They stand for goodness.

CLARK: What if they were stoned out of their minds?

[SWEETS and BRENNAN look at him incredulously.]

CLARK: Look, the powder on the path is called Secale cereale: rye flour. And it's infested with the fungus Claviceps purpurea.

BRENNAN: Formed in the ergot stage of fungal development. It's hallucinogenic--the natural substance from which LSD is derived.

SWEETS: Yes. It was used for ceremonial purposes centuries ago in Salem. Some people think that the exact same substance was responsible for the hysteria surrounding the Witch Trials in the first place.

CLARK: Those naked ladies were trippin'.

SWEETS: Add that to their rituals, they may have thought the demon they were slaying was real.

[CUT.]

[INT: FBI CONFERENCE ROOM. All Wiccans are present, with SWEETS, BRENNAN and BOOTH.]

ROWAN: Wiccans do not ingest any kind of consciousness-altering drugs.

BOOTH: Not on purpose.

SWEETS: We believe you were performing a ritual meant to keep Zephyra's evil from spreading past the circle.

BRENNAN: A ritual using rye flour.

ROWAN: We use rye flour in many ceremonies.

SWEETS: Yeah, and it has LSD fungus in it. It's what made you afraid of Zephyra. You thought that her obsession with the black arts could destroy you.

BRENNAN: You also knew that she had Ember's ancestor's bones on her side.

BOOTH: You're, you're, you're good witches. You're nice people. You don't lie, but when you make a mistake, you want to make that mistake right, right?

EMBER: We were just trying to help. We wanted Zephyra to live in harmony, but she kept cursing at us and casting spells. We were just trying to restore the balance.

[CUT.]

[INT: JAIL CELL. HODGINS and ANGELA are facing each other with their hands joined. The camera pans up to reveal the JUDGE and SHERIFF standing nearby.]

JUDGE: Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to join in holy wedded matrimony Angela Pearly Gates Montenegro and Jack Stanley Hodgins IV.

ANGELA: Um, there's, um, there's one small problem.

HODGINS: Please don't change your mind.

ANGELA: Oh, no. That's not it. It's, um... that's not my real name.

JUDGE: How bad could it be?

HODGINS: Yeah, did you get mine? It's Stanley.

ANGELA: Yeah, uh... yeah. Well, my dad is, um, he's sort of unique, and, well, he's Texan, and, uh... other things, so... do you mind if I just, if I whisper it to you?

JUDGE: That'll work.

HODGINS: Thank you.

[ANGELA whispers her name to the JUDGE, who makes a surprised face and nods.]

JUDGE: We are here to wed these two people. Vows?

HODGINS: Vows. Um... Angela-- or whatever your name is... I'm your guy.

ANGELA: Stanley... we're gonna live together and we're gonna love together and we're gonna have so much fun, and a little pain, and we're gonna live a life that's gonna make other people die with jealousy wishing they were us.

JUDGE: Do you have rings?

HODGINS: Yes, yes.

[He pulls out a gold wedding band.]

ANGELA: Where'd you get that?

HODGINS: I've kept this in my wallet since our first wedding.

SHERIFF [suspiciously]: What?

HODGINS [assuring him]: No, we didn't go through with it. Where'd you get that?

ANGELA: I'll tell you later.

HODGINS: Oh. Oh...

ANGELA: Yeah.

JUDGE: You may exchange the rings.

[They exchange rings. The ring ANGELA gives HODGINS is small, and they put it on his little finger instead.]

JUDGE: By the power vested in me and the state of Maryland, I now pronounce you [HODGINS and ANGELA kiss] husband and wife. You may...

[They are already kissing. The SHERIFF tosses confetti on them in an adorably enthusiastic manner. They continue kissing, confetti strewn in their hair.]

[CUT.]

[We see a variety of DC landscape and monument sh*ts.]

[EXT: DINER.]

BOOTH [OS]: They were good people.

[We find them inside the diner.]

BRENNAN: Good people who butchered another human being.

BOOTH: Well, you know, they were being att*cked. They weren't in their right mind, and sometimes, you know, people--they just get carried away.

BRENNAN: Well, crazy people.

[BOOTH pulls out a little paper effigy.]

BRENNAN [suspiciously]: What is that?

BOOTH: This was given to me by the witches. Look, it's you, Little Bones.

BRENNAN: No, it's not.

BOOTH [laughing]: Yes, it is, you see? The witch said that if I b*rned this in your presence, then the wish I make for you will come true.

[He opens a lighter.]

BRENNAN: You think I care, but I don't. It's just superstition. And for superstition to work, the person has to believe that he or she is cursed or under a spell--watch you don't burn your fingers!

BOOTH: Want to know what I wished for?

BRENNAN: No, it doesn't matter. Completely irrelevant.

BOOTH: I wished... I wished that you could find happiness.

BRENNAN: I don't know what that means.

BOOTH: Happiness. Love, laughter, friendship, purpose... and a dance.

BRENNAN: Oh. Well, then thank you.

BOOTH [triumphantly]: Ah...

BRENNAN: Why is that funny?

BOOTH: 'Cause, you know, you wouldn't have thanked me if you didn't think that part of it was true.

BRENNAN: No, I was, I was thanking you for your kindness, not because I believed in the outcome.

BOOTH: Ah, I detected relief.

BRENNAN: No, no, you didn't.

BOOTH: Relief, that the mojo was good and not bad.

BRENNAN: Okay, now you're just mixing up belief systems.

BOOTH: Really? Okay, you want me to burn another one?

BRENNAN: No, smoke isn't allowed--how many do you have?

BOOTH: I've got a lot.

[Fade out. THE END.]
{"type": "series", "show": "Bones", "episode": "05x20 - The Witch in the Wardrobe"}