Thirteen: Darrien?

OPENING CREDITS

[Darrien and Thirteen are standing in the front hallway of Thirteen’s apartment]

Thirteen: (seeing all the blood) What the hell happened? We got to get you to a hospital.

Darrien: No, you're a doctor. Just stitch me up.

Thirteen: It's more complicated than that. We need to check for—

Darrien: The cops will be waiting for me at the hospital. They're gonna bust me back inside just for being with felons.

Thirteen: You stay here, they bust me.

Darrien: I can't go back, Remy.

Thirteen: Neither can I. God forbid you die, I'm up for manslaughter.

Darrien: I'll find someone else.

[Darrien starts for the front door]

Thirteen: You leave, you bleed out. You're gonna die.

[As Darrien opens the front door, Thirteen rushes forward and slams it shut]

Thirteen: Stop.

Darrien: Promise me, you won't take me to the hospital.

Thirteen: I promise.

[Cut to House’s apartment. House is sitting on the piano bench with a guitar in his lap]

House: Look at how much fun she's having.

[Emily, a hooker, sits across from him, holding a copy of the Kama Sutra. She is dressed in a skimpy red teddy and is covered in tattoos]

Emily: That's because he has two functioning legs, capable of supporting her body weight.

House: So do I.

Emily: You told me most of your muscle was cut out.

House: I was going for the sympathy discount. Been taking some experimental medicine.

[House reaches for a glass of whiskey on the coffee table. Beside the whiskey bottle sits a round metal tray containing some white powder and a small, empty plastic bag. Beside the tray is a spoon and a syringe]

Emily: Yeah, I got a lot of clients on experimental medicine.

[House puts the glass back on the table and the guitar onto it’s stand, and gets up]

House: You want proof?

[Emily sets the book on the table as House goes around behind a stack of two Fender amplifiers. Emily crosses her legs, waiting to see what he is up to]

House: Okay, this amp stack weighs way more than you do.

[House squats down, puts his arms around the stack of amps, and, grunting, lifts the amps off of the floor and walks forward with them]

House: See? Now, even if those implants were made of adamantium, I'd still be able to…

[Emily jumps aside as House loses his balance and the top amp crashes down onto the table, breaking the glass top. House sets the other amp down on the floor and pushes himself into a standing position, rubbing at his right thigh]

House: Sorry. Cramp.

Emily: I'm sure.

[House kneels down in the broken glass, turns the metal tray upright, and picks up the empty plastic bag. He spills what little powder is left in the bag onto the floor, then tosses it aside and looks disparagingly up at Emily]

House: (sighing) I'm not gonna be needing your services tonight after all.

[Cut back to Thirteen’s apartment. Darrien is lying on the couch and her Kn*fe wound has been cleaned. Thirteen, wearing latex gloves, inserts two fingers into the wound. Darrien is screaming in pain as Thirteen feels around inside the wound]

Darrien: Aaah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Thirteen: Bowel's intact. Inferior vena cava's fine.

Darrien: Aah! Aah!

Thirteen: Liver got nicked, but it feels clotted off.

[Thirteen pulls her fingers out of the wound and examines Darrien’s mouth and gums]

Thirteen: I don't see any other signs of internal bleeding.

Darrien: So I'm okay?

[Thirteen reaches for a blood pressure cuff and wraps it around Darrien’s left arm]

Thirteen: Define okay. And just because I don't see bleeding doesn't mean it's not there.

[Thirteen pumps up the blood pressure machine]

Thirteen: 105 over palp. I'm gonna check your pressure every two minutes. If you dip below 90, it means it is there and we have a problem.

[Cut to Foreman entering his apartment. He has earbuds in his ears and a towel draped over his shoulder. It looks like he has been working out. He stops and takes the buds out of his ears as he enters the living room]

Foreman: Oh. Sorry.

[Taub and Ruby are sitting on the couch. They look up at Foreman as he enters. Taub looks worried]

Ruby: (getting up) I should get to work.

Taub: Wait. Ruby.

Ruby: We'll talk more in the morning.

[Ruby grabs her sweater and moves toward the front door, passing Foreman as she leaves]

Ruby: Good night, Eric.

Foreman: (to Taub) You two breaking up?

Taub: She's pregnant. (getting up from the couch) I need a drink.

[Cut back to Thirteen’s apartment]

Darrien: There was a raid. Andre needed to do something to slow the cops down.

Thirteen: He s*ab you as a distraction?

Darrien: Didn't work. Cops called an ambulance, left me lying there.

[Thirteen begins to pump up the blood pressure cuff again]

Darrien: Oh, come on. Give me crap. I know what I told you about him, but it's not his fault I started using again. It's mine.

[Thirteen looks at Darrien]

Darrien: What?

Thirteen: According to this, you're d*ad. You have no blood pressure. Barely have a pulse. (she pulls off the blood pressure cuff)

Darrien: Am I dying?

Thirteen: You're talking and alert, so your brain is getting blood.

[Thirteen wraps the blood pressure cuff around Darrien’s right arms and pumps it up]

Thirteen: Pulse in your right arm is fine. So is your B.P.

[Cut to Chase asleep in his bed with a copy of a book about the Crusades spread open on his chest. His cell phone vibrates, waking him up. He gropes for the phone on the nightstand]

Chase: (sleepily answering the phone) Hello.

Thirteen: Are you busy?

Chase: Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm about to go out.

Thirteen: Great. Uh, can you do me a huge favor? I need you to go to the hospital and check out a portable ultrasound machine for me.

Chase: Who's the father?

Thirteen: I have a leak in my bathroom, and my guy won't come take a look at it till tomorrow morning, and an emergency plumber's 200 bucks an hour.

[Cut to House walking into the lab where Dr. Riggin has been testing the new drug that House has been stealing to treat himself. Dr. Riggin is carrying a cardboard box. It looks like he is packing up]

Dr. Riggin: Dr. House.

House: Dr. Riggin. Figures you'd be wrapping up the trial by now. I just wanted to give you a hearty mazel tov.

Dr. Riggin: And don't forget the Nobel Prize for developing an incredibly expensive rat poison.

House: What do you mean? What happened?

Dr. Riggin: Tumors.

[Dr. Riggin pulls some photos out of a folder and hands it to House]

Dr. Riggin: Just look at these things.

[The photos show a d*ad rat, which has been pinned down and autopsied, revealing multiple tumors. House looks at the photos and then over to the now empty cages]

House: Any indication the rats were getting sick?

Dr. Riggin: Just some cramping. Their legs would stiffen up. They were having trouble moving around. We just thought their bodies were adjusting to the increase in muscle mass, but within a day or so they just started dying. Oh, well, get a new compound to play with next week.

[Cut to Thirteen opening her apartment door to Chase]

Chase: One portable ultrasound, extra pepperoni.

Thirteen: (taking the machine) Thank you so much. I might be late tomorrow.

[She starts to close the door, but Chase puts his hand out to open it again]

Chase: Your socks are dry. And, unfortunately, so is your shirt, which means you either just changed to greet me, or you need this for something medical. (Thirteen hesitates)

Chase: I am a doctor.

[Thirteen lets him in her apartment. Chase enters the living room and stops when he sees Darrien lying on the couch]

Thirteen: She's my friend. I was in prison.

[Cut to House, slapping at his arm to expose a vein. He is sitting on a CT table in his underwear. A monitor reveals that his heart rate is 110 bpm. He inserts an IV needle, lies down and pushes the button, which slides the table into the CT machine. There is a close-up of his damaged thigh as his body slides into the machine. Once inside, he pushes another button, which starts the scan]

[Cut to House sitting slumped on the CT table as he waits for the scan to process. Two successive flash camera cuts reveal House looking at the film. There are multiple black spots seen in the scan of his leg. He slowly lowers the film. He looks devastated]

[Cut to Thirteen’s apartment. Chase is pacing as Thirteen uses the ultrasound machine on Darrien’s chest]

Chase: You k*lled your own brother?

Thirteen: Yes. It was awful and devastating, but it wasn't m*rder. He was sick and he wanted to die, and I promised I would help. Now please stop pacing and help me find this thing.

Chase: Have you talked to anybody about it? I mean, are you okay?

Thirteen: No, I may have an aortic arch aneurysm. Oh, wait, that's her. Either help me or leave.

[Chase puts down the drink can he was holding and takes off his jacket]

Thirteen: Having trouble getting a clear look.

Chase: Try a long axis view from the suprasternal notch.

[Chase comes over beside Thirteen and prepares to examine Darrien’s wound]

Thirteen: Wait! Put on some gloves. She's got Hep-C.

Chase: Wonderful. (he puts on a pair of latex gloves) Take it you two were cell mates.

Darrien: Just friends.

Thirteen: She saved me. There's a culture in prison. If you don't have someone to show you how to get the stuff you need and stay away from the stuff you don't, you're screwed.

Chase: Her fingers are turning blue. (to Darrien) Can you move those?

[Chase looks more closely at Darrien’s left hand]

Darrien: My arm's starting to go numb.

Thirteen: Arch of aorta's clear. This can't be an aneurysm.

Chase: Maybe the wound threw a clot. Check axillary arteries.

[Chase raises Darrien’s left arm above her head, and Thirteen moves the ultrasound wand up to Darrien’s left armpit]

Chase: Stop. (pointing to a spot on the monitor) Right there.

[Chase starts digging around in a duffle full of medical paraphernalia]

Thirteen: 5 centimeter gooey mass. Not a clot. Maybe a lipoma?

Darrien: What the hell is that?

Chase: Fat-filled sack. Probably aggravated by the s*ab wound. (still rummaging) You got any syringes in here?

Thirteen: (to Chase) Give me that.

[Chase gives the duffle bag to Thirteen, then takes hold of the ultrasound wand as Thirteen searches through the bag for a syringe]

Darrien: I was s*ab in my gut, not in my arm.

Thirteen: You lost a lot of blood, gave the lipoma room to swell. It's compressing the arteries in your arm, blocking your blood flow. Maybe we can suck some of it out. You'll be fine.

[Thirteen has pulled a syringe out of the bag and pulled off the paper wrapping. She now prepares to insert the syringe into Darrien’s armpit]

Thirteen: (inserting the needle) Little pinch.

[Chase watches as Thirteen slowly pulls out the plunger]

Chase: That's not a lipoma.

[Cut to a strip club. Upbeat dance music is playing and a couple of pretty young woman are pole dancing. The camera pans down from the dance stage to Taub, sipping on a drink through a straw. He is not watching the dancers]

Taub: I don't know why she's even considering having my kid. She barely knows me. All she knows is I'm a short, balding guy. It doesn't even make evolutionary sense.

[Foreman looks over at Taub for a second and then returns his attention to the dancers on the stage]

Foreman: You want her to keep it?

Taub: No.

Foreman: 'Cause you'd make a crappy dad.

Taub: I said, "no."

Foreman: You're too selfish. That's why you cheated on your wife, why your marriage fell apart—

Taub: dude, I said—

Foreman: I know you. The only reason you're sitting in a strip club, ignoring the strip club, is because you actually are considering it.

[Taub doesn’t know what to say to that. Instead, he pulls out a folded wad of cash and holds it up for the strippers]

Taub: Although without crappy dads in the world…

[One of the strippers rubs Taub’s shoulder and pulls him up off his stool. Foreman just shakes his head in disbelief]

[Cut to Thirteen pulling a full syringe of blood out of Darrien’s armpit]

Thirteen: Try moving your fingers again.

[Darrien wiggles the fingers of her left hand as Thirteen caps the syringe]

Thirteen: Good. Means it's almost drained.

[Thirteen puts the full syringe down beside four other syringes full of blood]

Chase: (pulling on a fresh pair of latex gloves) Not good enough. We don't know if it's gonna come back. We don't even know what it is — drugs, viruses, toxins from that crack house and God knows where else she's been.

Thirteen: If this were caused by the drugs, she'd have kidney failure, cardiac involvement.

Chase: What about her Hep-C? Could have fried her liver. Loses its synthetic function.

[Chase comes over and sits down beside Thirteen in front of the couch where Darrien is lying]

Thirteen: Then her entire body would be swelling, not just her arm.

Chase: That leaves us with toxins. (to Darrien) Where exactly were you when you were att*cked?

Thirteen: You're not doing a home search in a crack den, that's insane.

Chase: Apparently, we don't have much of a choice.

Thirteen: It's a crime scene, and it's not toxins or viruses or anything else you mentioned, because it's not a coincidence. Her symptoms have to be related to the s*ab.

[Chase in on his feet again, pacing]

Thirteen: What if her body used up all the clotting factors dealing with the s*ab wound?

Chase: Explains the bloody mass. But if you're right, she could start bleeding anywhere, like in her brain or in her heart.

Darrien: One of those things could start growing in my brain?

Chase: It's time to get you to the hospital.

Darrien: Oh, no. (She looks at Thirteen) Remy, you promised.

Thirteen: (looking up at Chase) All we'll do at the hospital is stick her in a patient bed and give her IV clotting factor. We can do that right here.

Chase: We could also embalm her right here.

Thirteen: I'll call the drugs in. You go pick them up. If I'm right, she'll be fine. Look, I know you don't know her and you don't care about her, but I do. Please.

[The next scenes in House’s bathroom are accompanied by Victory Dance performed by My Morning Jacket]

♪ Should I h*t the water or stay on dry land ♪

♪ Even though I never swam? ♪

♪ Take machete into the brush ♪

♪ Though at first there is no plan ♪

♪ Taste the warpaint on my tongue ♪

♪ As it's dripping with my sweat ♪

♪ Place my gaze in the futures path ♪

♪ Seeing things that ain't come yet ♪

♪ Hope to watch the victory dance ♪

♪ In the evening's setting sun ♪

♪ Setting sun ♪

[Cut to House’s bathroom. From a bird’s eye view House is seen on hands and knees scrubbing the floor, and the tub. The camera then performs a series of quick cuts. First to House staring at himself in the mirror, then to a collection of surgical instruments laid out on a table. Back to House in front of the mirror, to a line of syringes, then to a bottle of Vicodin alongside a shaving brush in a glass sitting on the sink. House picks up the bottle of pills and takes one (some?), washing it down with a handful of water, and putting the bottle back on the sink. He then proceeds to scrub his hands and forearms thoroughly]

[The camera now moves to a lower position. There is a small table next to the tub, covered in surgical draping. The surgical instruments are laid out neatly on the table. There are two flexible arm lamps clamped to the table, one of them is a magnifying lamp. House is wearing only a t-shirt and boxers. The scar on his right thigh is clearly visible. House continues with his preparations. He tapes the CT film onto the wall tile of the bathtub. The patient information includes his name, DOB (5/15/1959), gender, and his doctor (Hourani). He places a stack of medical books on the right side at the foot of the bathtub. House now sits on the edge of the tub. He has a wooden spoon in his mouth and is preparing a tourniquet out of some unknown material (it almost looks like the tube of a bicycle tire). The camera quick cuts to a group of surgical clamps on the table. House wraps the tourniquet around his upper right thigh above the scar, then takes the spoon out of his mouth and twists it into the tourniquet to make it tighter. He grimaces as it tightens. Behind him, we can see a rolled up bath towel which he has taped to the wall beside the CT scan]

[House rises unsteadily, his hand on his upper thigh. A quick camera cut to a row of seven full syringes. On either side of the syringes are some gauze bandage and his cell phone. House lowers himself carefully into the tub and places his right foot against the stack of books. Another quick cut to the instrument table. Most prominent is a portable cauterizing instrument, but there are also forceps, retractors, the syringes, and House’s cell phone. The camera cuts to the CT film and pans down the scan, to reveal three tumors in House’s upper thigh, each circled in red. The largest tumor is high up, and close to the scar tissue. Two smaller tumors, situated close together, look to be an inch or two below the large one. House puts on latex gloves and sterilizes his thigh. He puts the sterilization sponge into a small metal bowl, then picks up one of a series of ten syringes which are laid out on the table. He takes off the cap, tossing it onto the floor, and with a glance at the CT scan, plunges the needle into his thigh. After pushing the anesthetic into his leg, he tosses the used syringe onto the floor and repeats the procedure with another syringe. He uses up five of the syringes, pushing the anesthetic all up and down his thigh, as indicated by the CT scan. He stops and uses his thumbs to assess the numbness of his thigh. He looks up with a determined expression, as if steeling himself for what he is about to do]

[The music has stopped and now things get serious. House picks up a scalpel from the table and removes the cover. He holds it over his thigh and pauses for a long moment, bracing himself. He then takes a deep breath and makes a long incision in his upper thigh]

[Cut back to Thirteen’s apartment. Thirteen is getting Darrien situated on her bed]

Thirteen: Lie down, elevate your shoulder.

[Darrien groans as Thirteen positions her on the bed, then sits on the bed beside her]

Thirteen: You said Andre wasn't responsible for the drugs. What is?

Darrien: Oh, I don't know.

Thirteen: Yes, you do. What happened to you? If you don't deal with the real problem—

Darrien: I came here because you're a doctor… not a shrink.

[Darrien turns away from Thirteen and she finally gets up and leaves]

[Cut back to House in his bathtub. He is concentrating hard and clearly in pain. He has used retractors to spread open the incision, and is using the magnifying lamp to work on his leg with a pair of forceps. His hand is shaking and he is sweating. He wipes the sweat on the rolled up towel on the wall and turns back to his leg. He appears to have located a tumor. He grits his teeth, but is shaking with pain and cannot get ahold of it. He picks up another syringe, and glancing at the CT scan pushes the anesthetic into his leg. The wound is bleeding heavily. He uses the portable cauterizer to seal off some blood vessels. His toes flex against the stack of books. Taking up the scalpel again and grimacing in extreme pain, he cuts the tumor away from the tissue in his leg. Using the forceps, he manages to extract the tumor from his thigh. With a shaking hand, he deposits the tumor into a small metal bowl on the table]

[House looks at the CT scan again. He wipes his forehead on the towel and prepares to excise a second tumor. His hand is shaking so badly that he can barely see what he is doing]

House: Ugh!

[As the scalpel touches the tissue, he screams, and throws back his head in agony. He shakes his head and groans as he tries to continue with the surgery]

House: Ah! Ugh! Ugh!

[House grunts and yells as the pain finally gets the better of him and he tosses the scalpel aside. Whimpering with pain and frustration, he pounds the edge of the bathtub with his fist. He shoves the magnifying lamp out of the way and sits there gasping and clenching his fist]

[Cut to Wilson’s apartment. Wilson is asleep in bed. His cell phone is on the nightstand next to the bed. It vibrates multiple times and a picture of House pops up on the screen, Wilson stirs in his sleep, but does not wake up.]

[Cut to the strip joint. Taub is now paying close attention to the dancer]

Stripper: Your lap is vibrating.

Taub: Oh, sorry. (He takes his phone out of his pocket to see who is calling) Uh, it's my boss. (He puts the phone back in his pocket) Probably drunk. Wants a ride home. He can take a cab. Do you have any kids?

Stripper: Why? You like moms? I could be your mommy. Spank your little ass.

[She grabs hold of Taub’s tie and twists it. He looks embarrassed]

Taub: Mmm, uh, no. I – what would you do if you got pregnant? Not by me… at all, but by some hypothetical guy who didn't want to keep the hypothetical kid. What would be the least awful way for him to tell you that?

Stripper: Don't talk. Just let mama dance for you.

Taub: Should I send flowers? Maybe write the clinic appointment on the little card? Surprise! I hate myself. (He sighs) There's just no good way to—(noticing a mole on her lower back, he touches it) How long have you had this mole? It's asymmetrical.

Stripper: (slapping his hand away) No touching.

Taub: Sorry. Have you been to see a dermatologist?

[He reaches out again. The stripper slaps at him and calls to the bouncer, who comes right over]

Stripper: Bobby!

Taub: (to Bobby) Oh, uh… I wasn't touching her. I was just — oh, God.

[Bobby grabs Taub by the lapels and practically picks him up off the chair]

Taub: Oh!

[Cut to Thirteen’s apartment. Darrien is asleep in Thirteen’s bed. She rolls over when Thirteen’s phone vibrates, reaching for it, then realizing that it is not her phone, rolls over to go back to sleep. But as she does, she sees a man standing at the foot of the bed. She rises up in bed and shakes her head]

Darrien: (to the man) No. (the man pulls a g*n) No, please don't. Please, please… put the g*n down.

[Cut to Thirteen cleaning up the couch in the living room. She sighs when she sees the large blood stain]

[Back in the bedroom, the man cocks the g*n and aims it at Darrien. The man is very young and wearing a hooded sweatshirt]

Darrien: (loudly enough for Thirteen to hear from the other room) Put it down on the ground and get away!

[Thirteen starts for the bedroom. There is a g*n, and a b*llet hole appears in the man’s forehead. He falls with a thud]

[Thirteen rushes into the bedroom]

Thirteen: Dee?

[Darrien is sitting up in bed, still talking to the man at the foot of the bed, except that there is no one there]

Darrien: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. (sobbing) I'm sorry.

Thirteen: Dee, what is it?

Darrien: I'm so sorry. (Thirteen sits on the bed and hugs Darrien, who is crying) I'm sorry!

[Cut back to House’s apartment. He has given up on the surgery, is breathing fast and hard, and is in extreme pain. He takes off the bloody latex gloves, and shaking badly, punches a number into his cell phone]

[Another cell phone vibrates. This time it is Cuddy’s phone. She wakes and reaches for her phone. The clock on the nightstand reads 11:46pm. She hears voices, and finds Rachel sitting at the bottom of her bed, watching TV. She sits up in bed]

Cuddy: (to Rachel) Why aren't you in your bed?

[Rachel is watching an obviously adult, pirate cartoon. The cartoon depicts a very voluptuous and scantily clad cartoon woman, walking the plank of a pirate ship. The pirate is on the plank also, and there are alligators in the water below the plank]

Brownbeard the pirate on the TV: Jibber me jabbers. I'll give ye splinters in yer arse, ye mangy bilge rat.

Cuddy: (not believing what she is seeing) What are you watching?

Rachel: TV, you bloody scallywag.

[Cuddy uses the remote to turn off the TV]

Rachel: (whining) Mo-om!

[Cuddy finally looks at her phone and answers it]

Cuddy: Someone better be dying.

[Cut back to Thirteen’s apartment. The front door closes, and Chase enters just as Thirteen is coming into the living room from the bedroom]

Thirteen: She hallucinated. I need you to go back out. (Chase hands her the medicine he just got) I just called in more clotting factor.

Chase: So she's bleeding in her brain now.

Thirteen: We double up the dose, she'll be fine.

Chase: No. We bring her to the hospital, we do a CT scan to locate the bleed, drill a burr hole in her skull, and maybe she'll be fine.

Thirteen: We can drill a burr hole here.

Chase: You're not just risking our careers here. You could go back to prison.

Thirteen: I made a promise.

Chase: You made a promise?

Thirteen: I will not take her to the hospital.

Chase: Great. Then I will.

[He moves toward the bedroom door, but Thirteen blocks his way]

Thirteen: No.

Chase: I'm gonna move you, and then I'm gonna pick your friend up, carry her down to my car, take her to the hospital, and try to save her life.

Thirteen: She's staying here.

Chase: Move.

[Thirteen does not move]

Chase: (loudly) Move!

[He shoves Thirteen aside, but she recovers her balance and pulling Chase away from the bedroom door, starts punching him in the chest, grunting with the effort. She finally lands a punch to his jaw, which causes him to go down. He gets up just as she attempts to h*t him again. He blocks the punch and grabbing her by the neck and upper arms, shoves her roughly to the floor]

Chase: She's going to the hospital.

[Cut back to House’s apartment. He is still sitting in the bloody bathtub. Footsteps are heard, and Cuddy appears in the doorway. Taking in the gory scene, she leans down to stop Rachel before she sees the bloody mess]

Cuddy: Sweetie… go wait for mommy by the couch, okay? Go on. (Rachel obeys)

[House is sweating and shaking. His eyes are red and he has his arms wrapped around himself as if he is cold]

House: I tried calling everyone else. You were the last one on the list.

[The camera pans the bathroom floor, revealing a bloody towel and numerous empty syringes. Cuddy takes in the horrific scene]

Cuddy: Any reason why 911 wasn't on the list?

House: It's not an emergency.

Cuddy: Right. (She kneels on the floor next to the tub) Are you suicidal?

House: (gasping) I'm not attempting bypass surgery. The tumors are small and they're close to the surface. I thought it'd be like… removing a wart.

Cuddy: You couldn't wait till morning; bring your CT scans to an actual surgeon?

House: Surgeons are idiots. They'd just hack away at the muscle until they get worn out.

Cuddy: Or you're just ashamed you've been injecting a drug that hasn't even gone through safety trials. It's never even been in the human body.

House: I got one of the tumors. The second one is close. (nodding to the scan on the wall) You can use the CT to help you find the third.

Cuddy: (getting up off the floor) I'm taking you to the hospital.

House: (pleading) Just–just excise the tumor.

Cuddy: Absolutely not!

[Cut to another speeding car racing through the night. Chase is driving fast and dodging around other cars as he and Thirteen rush Darrien to the hospital. Cars honk as he cuts them off. Thirteen sits in the back seat with Darrien]

Chase: (glancing back) Elevate her head more.

Darrien: Don't bother. Cops are gonna be waiting at the front door.

Chase: I'll go in first. I'll find a patient on life support just waiting to die. We'll use their name on all your tests. No one will ever know you're there.

Darrien: Thanks.

[Cut to Cuddy’s car, also on the way to the hospital. House is lying on the back seat, wearing a sweatshirt and wrapped in a blanket. Rachel is in the front passenger seat. She looks back at House]

Rachel: What happened to your leg?

House: I was trying to make it better.

Cuddy: He was being reckless. Sit back, honey. (to House) This isn't about making your leg better. It's about making your life better.

House: Here we go. Wish I had called 911.

Cuddy: Why else would you risk your life doing something so stupid?

House: Well, you know, I've had a lot of setbacks lately.

Cuddy: Don't blame our breakup for this. You're not unhappy because of me. You're just unhappy. Unhappy people do reckless things.

[Cut back to Chase’s car. Thirteen is trying to keep Darrien awake]

Thirteen: Darrien!

Darrien: (waking with a gasp) Stop screaming. My head hurts.

Thirteen: I need you to stay awake. Talk to me.

Darrien: About what?

Thirteen: When you were screaming in my room, what did you think you saw? You said, "put it down on the ground and get away."

Chase: Sounds like a cop.

Darrien: Old habits, I guess.

Thirteen: You were a cop?

Darrien: Back when I was a decent person.

Thirteen: How do I not know this? You knew everything—

Darrien: Not a good resume when you're trying to survive in prison.

Thirteen: So who were you talking to in my bedroom? Why did you keep apologizing?

Darrien: 'Cause I'm sorry.

Thirteen: For what?

Darrien: I k*lled a kid. He was 19. I went in first. Saw him going for his g*n. I tried to talk him down, but… (she chuckles) They told me I was a hero.

Thirteen: So that's when you started using drugs? I'm sorry.

[Darrien closes her eyes]

Thirteen: Darrien? Darrien! (to Chase) She lost consciousness.

[Chase drives faster, speeding through an intersection where Cuddy’s car sits, waiting for the light to change. Her left turn signal is blinking]

House: There are no cars coming. Just go.

Rachel: The light is red, ye bloody scallywag.

Cuddy: Stop with the pirate talk.

House: (imitating the pirate Brownbeard from the cartoon) If you don't want Brownbeard to end up with two wooden legs, better get yer ma to move this ship, you mangy bilge rat.

(Rachel giggles and looks back at House)

Cuddy: (nodding) Of course… You showed her that filthy cartoon. What kind of idiot lets a three-year-old watch that?

House: If you want to lecture me on my poor judgment, there would seem to be more relevant examples.

[Cut to Taub standing in front of the strip club. The door opens, and Foreman comes out into the night.

Foreman: There you are. You were in the VIP room so long, I thought you were gonna pay off that girl's mortgage.

Taub: I got tossed out by Bobby the bouncer.

Foreman: You touched her?

Taub: I was looking at her mole.

Foreman: (chuckling) Genius. Let's go home.

Taub: I want to wait for the girl, make sure that mole's okay.

Foreman: Bobby the bouncer sees you standing out here like a stalker, he's gonna break open your skull.

Taub: It was asymmetrical. It might be cancerous.

Foreman: You want to get your skull cracked open. You're trying to punish yourself.

Taub: I want to fulfill my oath as a doctor.

Foreman: You think you're a screw-up because you got a girl pregnant and you deserve to suffer. You don't. You just need some sleep and you'll handle this mess. Let's get in the car.

Taub: She's probably off work soon.

Foreman: (zipping up his jacket) Give me the keys. I'll drive.

[Taub ignores him]

Foreman: I'll get a cab. Good luck with everything. (He walks away)

[Cut to Thirteen and Chase, who are now at PPTH. They are in the radiology department scanning Darrien’s head]

Chase: You were defending your friend beyond all rationality, granting her the right

to die in your bedroom. Was it really all because of a promise?

Thirteen: That word means something to some people.

Chase: Not that much.

Thirteen: (looking at the monitor) I don't see the bleed. I'm moving down to the brain stem.

Chase: You promised your brother you'd euthanize him and you think you won't feel bad about it as long as you can blame it on the promise. That's why you have this twisted obligation to keep all promises… or your carefully constructed defense mechanism could crumble down.

Thirteen: (trying to hold back tears) I saved my brother from a lot of pain. (looking back at the monitor) Reconstructed image is clear. There's no bleed in Darrien's brain.

Chase: Image just blurred. Did she wake up?

Thirteen: She's shivering. She must have a fever.

Chase: Infection?

Thirteen: It couldn't be from the s*ab.

Chase: It has to be from the s*ab.

Thirteen: No, it couldn't be acting that quickly.

Chase: Well, then what's wrong with her?

[Cut to House, Cuddy, and Rachel, who are also at the hospital now. House is lying on a gurney parked in a busy ER hallway. He is still wearing his sweatshirt and is wrapped in a blanket. Drying blood covers his right leg. An IV has been inserted and he is hooked up to a heart monitor. Cuddy and Rachel sit nearby. Cuddy notices that House’s heart rate is 129. She goes over to the gurney and feels House’s forehead]

Cuddy: Your heart rate's over 120. You're clammy. I think you're going into shock. Are you lightheaded?

House: I'm fine.

[House doesn’t look fine. He is sweating and shivering]

House: (to Rachel) Did you see the new Brownbeard episode?

Rachel: It was so funny.

House: No, it was so lame. Got a boat full of guy pirates and they make the girl pirate walk the plank.

Rachel: She floated.

House: That's 'cause she had big boobies. That's why he should have kept her.

Cuddy: We've got to get you into surgery. Where is that nurse? Rachel, let's go find the nurse.

[Cuddy takes Rachel by the hand and walks down the hallway. House closes his eyes, then hearing his phone ring, pulls it out of a pocket with bloody hands, checks to see who is calling, and answers the call. Though in pain, he is trying very hard to sound normal]

House: 2:00 a.m. Nice of you to call me back.

Thirteen: (talking to House on the phone) Chase and I are in the hospital with a patient.

House: You've completely run out of ideas and you're calling me to bail you out. I'm touched. h*t me.

[Cut to Taub, who is now sitting in his car outside the strip club. The car is running and it is raining outside. The wipers clear the rain as he reaches toward the dashboard to activate the command system]

Computerized car voice: Command, please.

Taub: Call Ruby.

Car: Would you like to call Ruby on mobile?

Taub: No.

[He reaches toward the dash to deactivate the call]

[Cut back to House still talking to Chase and Thirteen on the phone]

House: She on any medication… besides crack?

Thirteen: She was taking Interferon in prison, so I'm guessing she's had Hep-C for at least ten years.

House: Can I guess stuff too? 'Cause that's gonna make the diagnosis really easy.

Thirteen: Prison infirmary isn't known for stellar record keeping.

Chase: And we can't exactly ask the patient.

[The camera pulls back to reveal Darrien in a bed behind them. She is unconscious]

House: Yeah, that would have been pre-coma. But how could you have known that it would affect her that way?

Chase: We didn't think we had anything mysterious until—

House: How about renal cancer throwing clots?

Thirteen: Urinalysis was negative.

House: That's too bad. 'Cause that was my one big idea.

Thirteen: Really?

[House looks down at his leg as a fresh spot of blood appears on the blanket]

Thirteen: House? House, you there?

[House grimaces in pain. He reaches for his bottle of Vicodin, which is lying on the gurney, pops open the lid, spills some pills out on the bed, and dry swallows a couple]

House: Tell me more about the patient. What was she doing before prison?

Thirteen: She was a cop. sh*t a kid in self defense, never got over the guilt, started taking drugs, and got busted.

House: Way to bury the lead. How long ago was the sh**ting?

Thirteen: I'm not sure. Why?

House: Again, you assumed she's had Hep-C for ten years. Find out when she sh*t the kid, you'll find out when she started taking drugs, and when she actually contracted the Hep-C.

Chase: And you think this is relevant?

House: It's more relevant than what you got now, which is squat.

[Cuddy, Rachel, and a nurse come walking down the hallway toward House]

House: Three chicks just came into my bedroom. I got to go. (He disconnects)

[Cut to Taub still sitting in his car in front of the strip club. He reaches toward the dash to activate the command system]

Computerized car voice: Command, please.

Taub: Call Rachel.

Car: Would you like to call Rachel on mobile?

[Taub sees the stripper exit the club. She is using an umbrella as protection against the rain]

Taub: (to the command system) No.

[Taub gets out of his car, and pulling his coat over his head like an umbrella, approaches the stripper. She is not pleased to see him]

Stripper: (backing away from him) What the hell?

Taub: I really am a doctor. I just wanted—

Stripper: Cop another feel? Get away from me.

[She drops the umbrella and rummages in her purse]

Taub: No, that mole. I just wanted — please, don't call Bobby.

[She has pulled a small p*stol out of her purse. Holding if firmly in both hands, she aims it directly at Taub]

Taub: (holding up his hands in submission) Just calm down.

Stripper: (scared) Shut up! Sick perv! Get down on your knees! You think I'm kidding? Turn around and get down on your knees!

[Taub does as she tells him to]

Taub: Please don't.

Stripper: I said shut up!

Taub: (whispering) Please, please…

Stripper: You think you're the first guy who thought he was special?

Taub: Please…

Dina: You think you can do whatever you want? I am not going through that again!

[She cocks the g*n]

Taub: Please… Please… Please…

[Taub, looking scared to death, stays on the ground. A car speeds out of the lot behind him, and realizing that she has left, he collapses to the ground in relief]

[Cut to Thirteen in the mostly darkened diagnostics conference room. She is surfing on a laptop, looking for information about the sh**ting incident Darrien told them about. Chase approaches with coffee for both of them]

Chase: Find anything?

Thirteen: Shockingly… a punk kid getting sh*t pulling a g*n on a cop did not make national news.

Chase: (putting a cup down on the table beside Thirteen) Is your neck okay?

Thirteen: (picking up the coffee cup) Yeah, it's fine.

Chase: I'll get you some ice.

Thirteen: I said it was fine.

Chase: I shouldn't have grabbed you so hard.

[Chase is getting some ice out of the minifridge. He wraps it in a towel, then comes back over to Thirteen]

Thirteen: You had to. You were right… About everything.

[Taking the ice pack from him, she holds it on her neck as she continues with her internet search]

Thirteen: (sighing) Oh, I got something.

[Chase puts down his coffee and leans in to look at the computer monitor]

Thirteen: Darrien must have had a different last name then. She must have been married.

Chase: 2008? Is that possible?

Thirteen: We never actually talked about how long she'd been in.

Chase: House was right. She could have only had her Hep-C for a few years.

Thirteen: There's no way the prison would have prescribed Interferon unless the lab showed her Hep-C to be chronic.

Chase: (sitting down beside her) So what makes new Hep-C look like old Hep-C?

Thirteen: What if she got a parasite? The Hep-C made her susceptible and the parasite sped up the liver damage.

Chase: Entamoeba. If they were in a parasitoma, the s*ab wound could have freed them, sent them coursing through her bloodstream, wreaking havoc.

Thirteen: A single bag of Metronidazole. If we're right, she could wake up from the coma in a few hours.

[Cut back to Cuddy, sitting with House in preop. House has been cleaned up and is now in a proper bed, wearing a hospital gown. House and Cuddy look at each other with expressions of many mixed emotions, including shame, anger, and disappointment. An OR nurse approaches]

Nurse: They're ready for you.

[Cuddy gets up to leave, but House stops her.]

House: Wait. I want you in there.

[With her hand already on the door, she turns back to him]

Cuddy: I'm not a surgeon. There's nothing I can do.

House: Well, you can make sure that… idiot butcher doesn't cut more than he needs to.

[Cuddy comes toward him, but not all the way to the bed]

Cuddy: You already signed a release. He's gonna do what he needs to do.

House: Yeah, and if that involves chopping off my leg… I want to be sure that that's damn well necessary. (He sighs)

Cuddy: House…

House: I don't trust him. I trust you.

[As the orderlies wheel House into the OR, House looks pleadingly at Cuddy, and she reluctantly follows]

[Cut to Thirteen sitting in a chair in Darrien’s hospital room. She sees that Darrien is waking up. She moves quickly to the bed and lifts Darrien’s eyelid to look at her pupils]

Thirteen: Can you hear me?

Darrien: Yeah.

Thirteen: You had parasites in your liver. Probably from a dirty needle or prison… or who knows what? The s*ab made it worse… But you're gonna be okay.

[Darrien smiles, an expression which changes to a frown when she tries to lift her hand off the bed. She is handcuffed to the hospital bed, and a policeman is standing in the doorway behind Thirteen]

Thirteen: I'm sorry. We had to.

Darrien: I told you I couldn't go back. I shouldn't have trusted you. I never liked you. I k*lled time with you 'cause I was locked in a cage. You were a distraction. Someone to talk to so I didn't have to think about… everything else.

Thirteen: You're lashing out… I get it. But in a month, you'll thank me.

[Darrien scoffs]

Thirteen: Or maybe you won't. I don't know. But… I know I saved your life.

[Darrien is upset as Thirteen leaves the room]

[Cut to House recovering after surgery. He is still unconscious, and it is starting to get light outside. Cuddy sits on a couch in the room, with Rachel’s head in her lap. She is stroking her daughter’s hair]

Rachel: Is he going to be okay?

Cuddy: He'll be fine. Close your eyes.

Rachel: I wish House still came over to play.

Cuddy: (trying to sound upbeat) Well… maybe you should write him a letter. (Rachel nods) Want to do that? Okay, let's do it.

[Rachel sits up as Cuddy pulls a notebook out of her purse]

[Cut to Taub approaching Ruby at PPTH]

Taub: Ruby.

Ruby: You look like hell and you smell like—

Taub: I've been doing a lot of thinking.

Ruby: Is that glitter on you?

Taub: Just hear me out. Back when I still had my practice, this patient came in, 50-year-old guy, wanted a tummy tuck. But when we do some prelim work, we discover that his stomach is filled with cancer. So instead of telling him that he's gonna look great at the beach, I got to tell him that he's dying.

Ruby: Were you at a strip club?

Taub: Please. The weird part was I was more upset about the whole thing than he was. He actually had to calm me down. Said he had great kids, raised them right, knew that because of them, he was leaving the world a better place. (taking both her hands in his) I thought I might die last night.

Ruby: At a strip club?

Taub: Yes, I was at a strip club. And while it was happening, I kept thinking about that patient and how I wish I was like him. I want to have this baby.

[Cut to Thirteen sitting in the locker room, just staring. The camera pulls back to reveal Chase standing in the locker room also. He shuts his locker]

Thirteen: Darrien had to sh**t that kid. It was the right thing. Completely justified. But it didn't matter. She destroyed her life trying to forget. (her voice breaks) I'm afraid that's what's gonna happen to me.

Chase: You really should talk to someone.

Thirteen: I've talked to a therapist. It didn't help.

Chase: Well, maybe you should talk to someone who isn't a therapist.

Thirteen: (looking up at Chase) Do you really think you have any idea what it's like to live with something like this?

Chase: Let's grab a coffee.

[A quick early morning exterior sh*t of PPTH is followed by time lapse sh*ts of the diagnostics conference room, one of which shows House’s empty office. Next, we see Thirteen and Chase having coffee. Then they are looking through a stack of files. Suddenly Foreman is there also. He stands at the sink getting coffee. Finally, Taub comes in and sits down at the table. The last scenes are accompanied by the music Flume by Bon Iver]

[Taub picks up the file Chase and Thirteen have been perusing, then yawns]

♪ only love is all maroon ♪

Chase: Late night?

Taub: No. Just haven't had my coffee yet.

[Thirteen yawns]

♪ Gluey feathers on a flume ♪

Thirteen: Sympathetic yawn.

♪ Sky is womb ♪

♪ and she's the moon ♪

Thirteen: (opening a file) Ooh! Amish kid collapsed while picking up a hooker. Top that.

Foreman: Missed a call from House last night. He in?

[Cut to House in the hospital bed. He is just waking up. He hesitantly slides his hand down his right thigh, not at all sure what he will find]

Wilson: (sitting in an easy chair beside the bed) You're lucky.

House: What are you doing here?

Wilson: You hoping for someone else?

House: Hot nurse, candy striper… Someone who doesn't speak English. Someone who doesn't speak judgmental.

♪ Only love is all maroon ♪

[Wilson gets up, and picks up Rachel’s letter off the table at the bottom of the bed]

Wilson: You've got mail.

♪ Lapping lakes like leary loons ♪

Wilson: (reading the letter) "I hope your leg feels better and I hope we can be friends again soon, you bloody scallywag."

♪ Leaving rope burns ♪

♪ reddish ruse ♪

House: I have to pee.

Wilson: That's a good sign.

[Wilson puts down the letter and hands House an empty urine bottle. House has other ideas]

House: (throwing back the blankets) I'm a big boy.

Wilson: (coming around to House’s side of the bed) Of course you are.

[Wilson reaches to help House out of bed, but House slaps him away]

[House manages to stand, but as soon as he lets go of the hospital bed rail, his right leg goes out on him and he sits back down on the bed]

Wilson: You're an ass.

House: What, for trying to walk on a freshly mangled leg? Performing surgery on myself? For thinking I could solve my emotional problems with rat medicine? If you're gonna nag, at least have the decency to be specific.

[House tries to stand again and this time he allows Wilson to support him. The music has stopped]

Wilson: Come on. Listen to me. You can't keep going like this. Something has to change.

House: Can I pee first?

[He looks at Wilson who looks back at him. House nods slightly, then turns away]

House: I know.
{"type": "series", "show": "House", "episode": "07x22 - After Hours"}