Two Brothers

Ana: You have  hours until the beam cannon fires.

Ana: If your decision comes too late,

Ana: tomorrow will be remembered in the history of space as

Ana: the day the star wars began, a day that will live in infamy.

Ana: And the first act of w*r will be to reduce Earth, the catalyst, to space dust.

Ana: It would be unwise to attempt to search this large planet for our present.

Ana: There is an emergency defense system built into it.

Ana: If you try anything funny, this planet will be destroyed

 before the beam cannon ever fires.

Gin: Did that guy come back to destroy his home?

Gen: As a planet, Beam and its population are basically one big w*apon manufacturer.

Gen: But as a nation, they're too smart to butt into interstellar politics.

Gen: However, there's a group called the Firestarters who pulls strings to start wars.

Gen: The Galaxy Sword Master has made his name through

 his exploits in those wars.

Gen: But if he is, in truth, a fictitious hero

 whose purpose is to start those wars...

Shin: Hajime-nii!

Shin: Whew, you're awake!

Shin: Are you okay?

Shin: Hajime-nii...

Obi: Oh, Shin-bo.

Obi: As you can see, I'm doing fine!

Obi: Man, it's such a lovely morning!

Obi: Edo mornings are so beautiful.

Obi: How about it?

 Let's go for a jog like we used to.

Shin: Sure.

Obi: He probably doesn't realize that he's being used.

Gin: How do we stop the mechanical half of his body?

Gin: Spit it out.

 It's not something Shinpachi or Otae can handle.

Hiji: Okay, we will now chase down the interstellar wave beam cannon.

Hiji: Grab every person who looks suspicious.

Oki: Hijikata-san, what would be a suspicious person?

Hiji: Someone who looks like he might sh**t out beams.

Oki: Hey, this guy's sh**ting idiot beams from his head.

Oki: Throw him in the slammer.

Hiji: Let me go!

Hiji: Want me to m*rder you guys?!

Hiji: Hey, Kondo-san! Say something!

Hiji: Hey, stop this!

Kondo: Someone who looks like he might sh**t out beams...

A: This is the worst thr*at the nation has faced since

 the founding of the Tokugawa Bakufu!

A: The Yagyu must step up to score points with the g*n!

A: Scratch that.

A: Step up to protect Edo!

A: More paper money!

A: Complete our celebrity blockade!

A: Hey, who included Takagi Boo with the celebrities?!

B: Didn't you say to use a Drifters blockade?

A: No, I said to use a celebrity blockade, Father!

B: Oh, then I should look for women who are easy.

A: No, that would be a **** blockade!

Kyu: Could it be...?

Kag: Hey, is this good enough?

Kag: I don't know since I've never done this before.

Obi: Temperature's perfect!

Obi: Thank you very hamnida!

Obi: Care to join me?!

Kag: Want me to k*ll you, Pervy Sword Master?!

Obi: A bath really hits the spot after some sparring.

Obi: Right, Shin-bo?

Shin: Are you trying to k*ll me?!

Obi: You need to scorch your delicate spots to make them squeaky clean!

Shin: What kind of g*n did you pick up out in space?!

Gin: Still, where is he hiding the beam cannon?

Gin: All I can see is a little p*stol.

Gen: Listen to me, Gin-guy.

Gen: If you s*ab him with this blade I've rigged with a disruption device,

 it will delay the activation of the emergency defense system.

Gen: That will be your chance to destroy

 the mechanical half of his body and fully disable him.

Gin: What will happen to the human side of his body?

Gen: I already gave you an explanation.

Gen: That machine is keeping him alive right now.

Gen: If the machine is disabled, the human half of his body will go back to being d*ad.

Otae: What are you doing here?

Otae: Why are you carrying that w*apon, Gin-san?

Gin: You know the answer.

 I'm here to cut down your first love.

Otae: You're not trying to hide it.

Gin: Half-assed lies don't work on women.

Gin: Your eyes are puffy.

Gin: That's what you get for eavesdropping.

Obi: You used to be so weak.

Obi: I could barely feel you scrubbing my back.

Obi: You've really grown up.

Obi: Though you haven't changed down there.

Shin: You're one to talk!

Shin: You're still out of my reach.

Shin: I'll never be able to catch up to you.

Obi: Shin-bo, you're already stronger than me.

Obi: All I got for leaving Earth

 was this b*at-up body and the hollow title of Sword Master.

Obi: After returning to Edo and seeing you guys, I realized something.

Obi: If you can't find something close to protect,

Obi: you can wander the entire universe

Obi: and never achieve true strength.

Obi: I should have returned sooner to the country of the samurai.

Shin: Why does it sound like you've given up?

Shin: We can work together to find the answer.

Shin: We can work together to become strong.

Shin: So don't say that.

Shin: Our Hajime-nii would never look so defeated!

Obi: Shin-bo, so you know?

Otae: We understand.

Otae: So please, we won't ask you to wait until tomorrow,

Otae: but could you give us a little more time?

Otae: Please lower your sword,

 Gin-san.

Shin: I always wanted to introduce you and Gin-san to each other.

Shin: I always hoped that one day,

 the two of you would sit here next to each other

 while I washed your backs.

Shin: But now...

Shin: Why is it you?

Shin: Why did this have to happen?!

Otae: I beg you, Gin-san.

Otae: Just give us a little more time.

Otae: Let him

Otae: be Shin-chan's big brother a little longer.

Obi: I won't be able to restrain the other half of my body much longer.

Obi: I was prepared to end my own life,

Obi: but I came back to Edo

Obi: because I wanted to see you and Otae-chan one last time.

Obi: Soz about getting you into all this trouble.

Obi: But I'm glad I got to see this city of samurai one last time—

Gin: You're in my way.

Gin: Move it.

Gin: Why do you all have those looks on your faces?

Gin: Did you forget what the School of Beam Saber

 teaches about reacting in these situations?

Gin: Well, Instructor Obi-one?

Shin: Hajime-nii!

Shin: Stop it!

Shin: Gin-san!

Shin: Hajime-nii is still...

Shin: Still...

Gin: I told you, you're in my way!

Kag: Shinpachi!

Otae: Shin-chan!

Gin: Damn, he got away.

Shin: Please wait!

Shin: Why...

Shin: Why are you doing this?!

Shin: Why would you be so cruel?!

Shin: Hajime-nii knows everything!

Shin: He understands what's happening!

Shin: He's prepared to end his own life!

Gin: He can't do that.

Gin: It's not his body anymore.

Gin: You were washing a d*ad body with some junk attached.

 I dare you...

Shin: I dare you to repeat that.

Otae: Stop it, Shin-chan!

Otae: Please stop this, both of you!

Gin: Sorry, but I'm not interested in sitting around with

 a bunch of emotional saps, waiting for my death.

Gin: If you can't handle the job, I'll do it.

Gin: It's that simple.

Shin: Wait...

Shin: Wait.

Shin: I said to wait!

Shin: Are you deaf?!

Otae: Shin-chan!

Shin: How can two big brothers be so different?

Gin: Look at me.

Gin: Is this the face of a big brother?

Shin: True, your nose hairs are sticking out.

Gin: Oh, you're right.

Otae: Shin-chan!

Otae: Hang in there, Shin-chan!

Otae: Shin-chan!

All: Excuse us.

Obi: The emergency defense system hasn't activated.

Obi: That man must have done something.

Obi: Was he able to sense my intention to k*ll that boy?

Yama: Hey!

Yama: What are you doing up there?!

Yama: What the hell?!

Yama: He can sh**t beams from his eyes!

Yama: After him!

Yama: Don't let him escape!

A: We can't find him.

B: Same here.

Hiji: You better find him before I finish smoking this.

Hiji: Shah that guy up before these curtain rings can "shah" the curtain shut.

Both: Or else it's seppuku time.

Kag: You middle management people are useless!

Kag: Get out of the way!

Tojo: I'll let you go if you tell us where he is.

Kag: That's what we want to know!

Shin: Can you cut it out?

Otae: Shin-chan...

Shin: Everyone's up in arms.

Shin: Are you so intent on destroying Hajime-nii?

Shin: In any case, this gives Kondo-san and Kyubei-san

: an excuse to rid themselves of their rival.

Shin: That's despicable.

Shin: You're all despicable!

Hiji: Not as despicable as your leader.

Obi: Come in, this is Kenofi.

Obi: There's been a problem.

Obi: I request assistance.

Obi: My current coordinates are...

Tojo: We weren't spurred into action by my lady or Kondo-dono.

Tojo: It was your leader.

Obi: This was a mistake on my part.

Obi: I didn't expect him to have

: such a dangerous man as his new brother figure.

Gin: Why are you all so obsessed with the brother thing?

Gin: Neither Shinpachi nor I am interested in being brothers!

Shin: Gin-san did?

Oki: Hijikata-san...

Oki: Looks like the news has gotten out.

Hiji: Sorry, but we can't let you pass.

Hiji: The Shinsengumi are on the job.

Tojo: Do not worry.

 We will search every nook and cranny of the building.

Tojo: You should go take a bath and

 wash every nook and cranny of your body.

A: Wh-Who are you people?

Oki: We aren't here to capture Obi-one.

Oki: We're holding off the cops who are on his tail

Oki: and making sure that you all are safe.

Shin: Wh-Why would you do that?

Oki: Because your leader got down on his knees and begged us to.

Obi: If you k*ll me, you will lose their trust forever.

Obi: Given that, why did you come here?

Gin: I'm not interested in battling to the death

 with a bunch of crying fools standing nearby!

Gin: This is much better!

Obi: Battling to the death?

Obi: Don't make me laugh.

Obi: You're unconsciously trying to avoid attacking my left side.

Gin: So this is the power of the Galaxy Sword Master?

Gin: Not very impressive.

Gin: That title's too flashy for you.

Gin: You should stick to being a big brother.

Oki: "I'll figure out a way to bring Obi-one back alive,

Oki: so could you stay put and not do anything until then?"

Oki: He planted his empty head right against the floor.

Oki: Want to see a picture?

Shin: Why did he do that?

Shin: Why did he ask you for help

Shin: when he didn't say a word to us?!

Shin: That idiot!

Otae: He wanted to keep us away from Obi-one-niisama.

Gin: Don't worry, Obi-one.

Gin: Nobody else will be joining us.

Gin: I won't let you get any more blood on your hands!

Gin: So

 come back, Obi-one!

Gin: Come back and be their big brother one more time!

Otae: He was the only one who hadn't given up

Otae: on saving Obi-one-niisama.

Obi: Do you seriously believe that he's still capable

Obi: of returning?!

Obi: Come in. This is Kenofi.

Obi: I need to be picked up immediately.

Ana: Kenofi?

Ana: Are you really Kenofi?

Ana: We've already locked on to your signal and g*n the retrieval.

Ana: Kenofi, where are you right now?

Ana: I-Impossible!

Ana: What is the meaning of this?!

Oki: Man, it's not easy when we all work for a bunch of losers.

Shin: No way...

Ana: Wh-Who are you?!

Ana: Identify yourselves!

Both: From the School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!

Kyu: Yagyu Kyubei.

Kondo: And Kondo Isami.

Kyu: We've come here to reclaim the human half...

Kondo: ...of our instructor, Obi Hajime.

Obi: You were able to disrupt my transmitter with that strike?

Obi: You just came here to buy time

Obi: while your allies work to disable the beam cannon?

Gin: Like I said, nobody else will be joining us.

Gin: Will you leave that body first,

Gin: or will you get rid of me first?

Gin: It's a waiting game now.

Obi: Foolishness!

Ana: Damn those Earth apes!

Ana: They tricked us!

Kon: We clearly got the short end of the stick.

Kon: Stuck helping our rival in love.

Kon: A victory here won't win us anything.

Kyu: We've still got it better than that idiot

Kyu: since he had to beg for help.

 Plus he'll be losing his position as a brother figure.

Kyu: Besides, now I know

Kyu: the reason why Otae-chan was able to

 smile when times were tough or painful.

Kyu: Even if her smile isn't directed our way,

Kyu: I just want her to truly smile again.

Kon: I see. That means...

Kon: I should laugh with them.

Obi: So people who are truly strong laugh when they want to cry.

Obi: They endure all of the pain and sorrow

Obi: while laughing with everybody else.

Obi: But one day, you must become samurai strong enough not to cry.

Yama: Captain Okita, are you sure about this?

Image,Caption: Image has been deleted.

Oki: Sorry, big guy. I couldn't stop them.

Oki: We little brothers have our own pride.

Tojo: Well, let's get going.

Hiji: To our big brother's side.

Ana: It seems that you people are intent on keeping that man alive.

Ana: But you've been wasting your time.

Kon: What's that?

Ana: Nobody can stop him at this point.

 Not us, not him...

Ana: The emergency system will recover shortly.

Ana: When that happens, you Earthlings will be finished.

Kyu: Kondo...

Kon: Bullshit.

Kon: That's bullshit.

Kon: Then why...

Kon: Then why did he have to play the bad guy?!

Kon: Why did he have to get on his knees and beg?!

Kon: Can you give those two big brothers back to Shinpachi-kun?

Obi: It'll be thirty minutes before my system recovers.

Obi: There's only one way to stop the beam cannon before that happens.

Obi: You have to destroy me, Obi-one.

Obi: I'll be sending your little brother and this planet

Obi: to see you shortly.

Obi: You can wait in hell for them.

Shin: Did you call me his little brother?

Shin: You people throw the word brother around too much!

Gin: Neither Gin-san nor I am interested in being brothers, you fool!

Tsuzuku,Caption: To Be Continued

Gin: We have a big announcement about the second movie.

Gin: Next week, the censored areas will be revealed.

Movie,Caption: Gintama the Movie ----In theaters on ---- ----th!

Gin: Hey, squinting won't help you.

Gin: If squinting helped, you'd have a lot of boys spending / of their time squinting.

Ep Title,Otae: Liquor and Gasoline Smiles and Tears

Otae: Next time:

Otae: Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears.

Side Bar Top,Caption: There's a huge atmosphere swing

Side Bar Bottom,Caption: between the movie preview and the next episode preview.

Side Bar Top,Caption: That's just business as usual

Side Bar Bottom,Caption: in the Gintama anime.
{"type": "series", "show": "Gintama", "episode": "06x11 - Two Brothers"}