Keeping

Up with the Kardashians...  

KOURTNEY: I cannot be around

you when you're just (bleep) a  

bitch.

You guys make fun of me for  

going.

KHLOE: We don't make fun of  

you for going to therapy, we

make fun of you for literally  

hating us because of your

therapist.  

KOURTNEY: In the past, I used

to just brush things off, and it  

really didn't bother me, but

because I've started going to  

therapy, I'm more aware of my

feelings.   

I don't want to spend my time

around people that are mean.   

I'm evolving.

I don't want to be the bitchy   

person that I was before. ♪ ♪   

KRIS: Hey. ]] SCOTT: Hi.   

KRIS: Wait a second.

Have you ever thought about   

reshaping your earlobes?

SCOTT: What?   

KRIS: Yeah.

SCOTT: What's wrong with my   

earlobes?

KRIS: I think they're a   

little large. (Laughs)

SCOTT: Oh, my God.   

I don't even know what you're

talking about, to be quite   

honest.

KRIS: If we do, like, right   

there. ]] SCOTT: How about no?!   

KRIS: They just slice it

right there and stitch it up.   

SCOTT: You want me to slice

my ear?   

KRIS: Look, this one's even

bigger.   

Do you have your ear pierced?

SCOTT: Yeah, when I was a kid   

I had it pierced. ]] KRIS: What?   

You have your ear pierced?

SCOTT: That's why you're   

freaking out?

You're telling me to cut my ear   

off! I got a hole in it.   

KRIS: That's why it's so...

Look at this!   

You had your ears pierced.

SCOTT: I had one pierced.   

KRIS: Oh, does this mean you

were gay at one time?   

SCOTT: Yes, 'cause I had an

earring in my left (bleep) ear.   

(Kris laughing)

KRIS: No, look, you just get   

a little, like, nip and a tuck

right there.   

SCOTT: You're sick.

KRIS: And it takes ten years   

off of your life.

SCOTT: You've been in.   

Hollywood too long.

KRIS: No, it takes ten years   

off your life, I promise.

SCOTT: I don't need to take   

ten years off my life.

KRIS: You have to.   

SCOTT: I'm definitely not.

KRIS: You have to.   

SCOTT: And now you're making

me very uncomfortable.   

(Kris laughing) ♪ ♪   

KHLOE: Good girl! Come on.   

Come on, old lady.

Come here, Goober.   

Act like you know how to run

again... good old lady.   

KOURTNEY: How old is she?

KHLOE: She's like    or   .   

KIM: That old? Really?

KHLOE: Yeah.   

KIM: So that was what?

I was   ... oh, you're right.   

I was, like,   . So,   . So,   .   

KHLOE: What's wrong with you?

KIM: So I would say about      

or   , I could've been   .

KHLOE: So    or   ?   

KIM: Could've been about   .

Yeah, so about   ,   .   

KHLOE: That's what I said.

KIM: Yep.   

KHLOE: Yeah.

KIM: Just doing the math in   

my head. Oh.

KHLOE: Okay, a few more runs.   

Do you want to do it?

Do you know how?   

KOURTNEY: I've been dying to.

KHLOE: Okay.   

KIM: I played a game where I

gave her a lot of food, so...   

KHLOE: Yeah, Kim gives her

cereal.   

Gabbana was Kendall and Kylie's

dog their entire lives.   

And then when they all grew up

and moved out, she became,   

like, the family dog.

And then when Caitlyn and my mom   

got separated, I took Gabbana

in.   

Oh, you dropped it.

You can do it.   

Dive. Yeah! Good girl!   

So she's kind of been the family

dog and everyone has their own   

great relationship with her.

Even Kim loves to hate her.   

KIM: Oh, my God! Seriously!

Ew! I smell like a wet dog.   

KHLOE: I love that whenever I

come home from Cleveland,   

Gabbana is always there.

She likes you.   

KIM: I know, but you're

getting my shoes all dirty.   

Okay, Khloe, Khloe, Khloe.

KHLOE: Gabbana, sit down.   

Sit. Sit. Lay down.   

Just chill.

You're scaring me how you're   

breathing. (Gabbana barks)   

Oh! Oh, my God, I've never heard   

you bark, really.

This is why I have to hide the   

balls.

KIM: But she wants to run.   

KHLOE: But she doesn't know

that then she's gonna...   

KIM: Have a heart att*ck?

KHLOE: Like, she'll be   

limping all night, I have to

give her a pain med for her hip.   

(Gabbana barks) No. No more.   

We're done. (Gabbana barks)   

KIM: That's really sad.

KHLOE: She had two hip   

surgeries.

KIM: I know, but that's,   

like, so sad.

KHLOE: You look really good,   

though; It looks like you

finally got your rhythm.   

No, Gabbana, I didn't throw it.

♪ ♪   

KHLOE: Hello! How are you?

You know, this is the first   

baby store I've been to.

KRIS: I came here when I was   

pregnant with Kourtney, and

Robert's grandmother bought me   

my first crib. ]] KHLOE: Aw.   

KRIS: And so this has always

been, like, this tradition.   

Have you met Khloe?

KHLOE: No, hi. How are you?   

LAUREN: Hi, Khloe.

I'm Lauren, nice to meet you.   

KRIS: Now when did you first

start working here? In   ...?   

LAUREN: I've been here since

'  .   

KHLOE: Oh, my gosh. KRIS: '  .    

KHLOE: I thought she was

really exaggerating.    

LAUREN: No, she really wasn't.    

KHLOE: Wow, that's exciting.

KRIS: So she's been helping    

me for my entire journey with

all the kids.    

KHLOE: Look at that.

KRIS: So cute.    

KHLOE: Yeah, it's so cute.

They're just so little.    

KRIS: It makes me sad because

I remember coming in here the    

first time, like, to shop for

Kourtney...    

KHLOE: Mm-hmm.

KHLOE: And now she's just    

so mean. (Laughs)

I'm like, when they're so little    

they don't...

KHLOE: Talk to you like that.    

KRIS: Treat you funny and

talk back, and I don't know why    

she's being so...

KHLOE: I don't know why you    

guys are in such a weird place.

KRIS: I just wish she would    

make an effort to treat me the

way that I feel like I would    

love to be treated, 'cause I

love her so much.    

She's my firstborn daughter.

My relationship with Kourtney    

over the years has been kind of

fabulous, but lately there's    

definitely a shift.

KOURTNEY: What are you doing    

here?

Amanda and I are about to work    

out. ]] KRIS: I could join your    

workout.

KOURTNEY: I really don't want    

to ruin our workout.

Don't come to our workout,    

randomly show up when you're not

even invited.    

KRIS: I really don't know

where this is coming from.    

And it makes me really, really

sad.    

KHLOE: Here's that.

KRIS: No, I got it. I got it.    

KHLOE: No, stop.

KRIS: This is my treat.    

KHLOE: You're not buying...

KRIS: This is my thing.    

Yes, I am.

KHLOE: That's crazy, Mom.    

KRIS: I did this for Kylie.

This is my, this is my    

happiness.

KHLOE: Oh, that's so nice of    

you, I didn't think you were...

KRIS: I didn't give birth to    

you not to be able to do this.

Don't look.    

You're so rude.

KHLOE: That's very nice.    

KRIS: When you're doing this

for your daughter, you'll look    

back on this and think, "Now I

get it. Now I know what she was"    

"feeling." ♪ ♪    

KHLOE: I don't know what

people wear.    

I just still can't believe this

fits a real person. (Laughs)    

Do I keep something this small?

KIM: Oh, my God, yeah.    

That's, like, right at the

beginning.    

This is cute. ]] KHLOE: Cute.    

KIM: This is a little...

This is a very Penelope...    

KHLOE: Oh, that is literally

Penelope's soul.    

KIM: You'll also pick out a

style. Like...    

KHLOE: I don't know her style

yet.    

KIM: You know what's a fun game?    

KHLOE: Foosball.

KIM: Yeah, what is foosball?    

We should look into that.

KHLOE: Isn't it, like, the    

table? ]] KIM: Oh.    

(Khloe laughs)

I was like, let's play that.    

Let's get teams.

No, the funnest game ever is    

the Kylie pregnancy game.

KHLOE: Why?    

KIM: Just to see what people

think; Like, there were pictures    

of her out on TMZ, and she

looked so skinny.    

KHLOE: I know, 'cause it's

the angle... they got her from    

face on.

But if they got a side sh*t,    

it would've been over for her.

KIM: If would've been over.    

Over.

I literally woke up at  :   in    

the morning, and I saw it, and

I was like... (gasps)    

And I called her and Travis.

They were like, "What's wrong?"    

What's wrong?"

They thought something was    

wrong, and I'm like, "There's

pictures of you on TMZ."    

KHLOE: No.

KIM: He must think we're,    

like, freaks.

Your pregnancy has been the    

best-kept secret of our

generation.    

KYLIE: Like, I'm not trying

to keep it secret, I'm really    

doing this for myself.

KIM: Like, this never...    

Like, your friends deserve

awards.    

KYLIE: Mm-hmm.

KIM: 'Cause seriously, now    

you know you have some real

ones.    

KYLIE: Yeah.

KIM: 'Cause that wouldn't    

have happened in my, in my day.

KYLIE: Don't tell anyone my    

secrets. ]] KIM: I won't.    

KHLOE: These are bizarrely

small, correct?    

KIM: Yeah, no, they're...

They stretch, so, like, I would    

put North in them all the time

when it would be freezing.    

KHLOE: So are we keeping

these? No.    

A baby can't wear these.

KIM: If you want to wear a    

dress, yeah, and you layer.

Yeah.    

KHLOE: At this age, what is

she... where is she going?    

This is like you're putting her

in Spanx at three months.    

♪ ♪    

(Kourtney whooping)

SIMON: You just came?    

KOURTNEY: Yeah.

SIMON: We just finished our    

sh**t, you missed it.

LARSA: How are you?    

Very nice seeing you.

SIMON: I put on the zip lace.    

KOURTNEY: No you didn't.

LARSA: How are you?    

Nice seeing you.

SIMON: For real... I went...    

I put on the Good Legs.

They fit.    

KOURTNEY: The hugs, do you

need a hug class?    

SAVAS: I mean, what do you

want me to crush your chest?    

KOURTNEY: No, no. Do you need

a hug class?    

Watch. You give a hug like this.

LARSA: She's really good at    

that.

KOURTNEY: Your hug, your hug    

is like this.

SIMON: Yeah, like...    

KOURTNEY: Your hug is... your

hug is like...    

SAVAS: What do you want me to

do?    

I don't want to break your

chest.    

KOURTNEY: You just go like

this. You give a nice hug.    

Yes. See that? Where's Khloe?    

She's working or something?

She's busy?    

LARSA: We're gonna go hang out.    

KOURTNEY: Um, I saw the

therapist yesterday.    

KHLOE: Hello?

Okay, you yelled at me, so I'm    

taking a break to come talk to

you.    

KOURTNEY: I was telling them

about my therapy session.    

She said because Mom cheated on

Dad, I have, like, an issue with    

betrayal because I knew what it

felt like.    

KHLOE: But did she say that's

why you're mean to Mom?    

'Cause you're mad at her?

KOURTNEY: No, but Mom (bleep)    

me in so many ways, we were

talking about it all day    

yesterday.

KHLOE: Mom (bleep) you in so    

many ways?

KOURTNEY: Lately, in therapy,    

a lot of topics that have been

coming up are about childhood    

issues and how that affects so

many of my relationships today.    

KHLOE: How'd she (bleep) you?

LARSA: Where did that come    

from? ]] KHLOE: Right. How...?    

KOURTNEY: I told you, Larsa.

If I had a problem, I wouldn't    

go to her, ever. Did you?

LARSA: But if you had a    

problem, she'd be there.

KOURTNEY: I don't know.    

Did you? 'Cause I didn't.

KHLOE: I don't go to anyone.    

I'm like...

KOURTNEY: Okay, but...    

KHLOE: But Kylie and Kim go

to Mom all the time, so, like,    

she is available...

KOURTNEY: Okay. To them.    

KHLOE: To the kids who need her.    

KOURTNEY: I never went to her.    

KHLOE: But she's still a

great mom.    

KOURTNEY: I would go to Dad.

That's fine.    

KHLOE: Oh.

KOURTNEY: I just said she was    

not my person that I found

comfort in.    

So if you needed advice, I would

never go to her.    

KHLOE: Okay, I'm gonna take a

(bleep) photo, guys.    

LARSA: Holy! It's a lot.

It's a lot going on here.    

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God.

Did you hear Kylie's in labor?    

KIM: What?

I don't have my phone on me.    

KOURTNEY: If she really

wanted you there, then she would    

invite you there.

KIM: No, I know.    

(Gabbana whines)

KIM: It's nearing time.    

Obviously, when you have a dog

for so many years, you know at    

some point, you know, she's not

gonna be here.    

KHLOE: For some reason you do

not give Mom the benefit of the    

doubt and it's really unfair.

You only remember with Todd or    

this or that, but...

KOURTNEY: I don't sit there    

and dwell about Todd.

KHLOE: No, we're not saying    

that.

KRIS: You have your own Todd    

right now.

KOURTNEY: No, I actually    

don't. I'm actually not married.    

♪ ♪    

KRIS: You look really pretty.

(Khloe chuckles)    

You look very much like a jewel

tone.    

KHLOE: Oh, wow.

KRIS: Like my little jewel.    

You're like a jewel.

KHLOE: It's a nice day.    

I like when it's a little crisp.

KRIS: Love. Like, love.    

KHLOE: I'm also used to

Cleveland weather where it's,    

like, super chilly.

KRIS: I love Cleveland.    

KHLOE: Me, too.

KRIS: It's my new favorite    

place. ]] KHLOE: It's so weird.    

KRIS: That view is epic.

KHLOE: I know.    

I love it there.

KRIS: No, it's really    

peaceful. ]] KHLOE: I love it.    

KRIS: I was really surprised

Kourtney went.    

KHLOE: God, you and Kourtney

are, like, at each other's    

throats these days.

KRIS: Mm-hmm.    

I think that she's going through

a phase in her life where she    

has some anger inside that I

don't quite understand.    

KHLOE: You think?

It bothers me, like, even how    

she, like, says the memory she

has with you, and, like, I get    

annoyed by that 'cause they

couldn't be further from the...    

KRIS: All she had was

Cinderella fairy dust and    

magical wands.

I mean, it was, it was the    

best... she was doted on as a

child.    

KHLOE: Caviar wishes and

champagne dreams, ladies and    

gentlemen.

KRIS: Exactly what it was.    

KHLOE: I think she thinks

she's, like, speaking her truth    

more and she's... 'cause she

says, "I've been"    

nonconfrontational for the past

"ten years and now I'm finding    

my voice again."

I don't really know what that    

means, but if she feels that

way, that's good.    

I don't want to push that away

from her, but I think there's    

also a way that we could all get

along here.    

KRIS: I wish your dad was

around to say, "You had the"    

best, most magical childhood of

any child ever."    

That's what we prided ourselves

on.    

KHLOE: No, but I don't think

it's the childhood, I think    

she's blaming you specifically.

KRIS: For what?    

KHLOE: She probably felt like

she was always picking a side    

and it was always my dad's.

In the divorce, she always    

picked his. KRIS: Yeah. She did.    

KHLOE: In the trial, she

picked his.    

KRIS: She did. She was

convinced.    

KHLOE: She wanted to live

there over your house.    

Like, she's always picked his.

So there's something.    

KRIS: That's interesting.

KHLOE: When my parents got    

divorced, Kourtney took my dad's

side.    

KOURTNEY: My parents got a

divorce because my mom had an    

affair.

KHLOE: Did Mom ever meet up    

with Todd?

KIM: I don't know, but    

he e-mailed her again and said

he wanted to meet up with her.    

KOURTNEY: That's the worst

idea I've ever even heard.    

KRIS: I've paid a price for

what happened to me in my life    

and I would hope that none of

you would have to go through the    

same things I went through.

KOURTNEY: Okay. I don't want    

to keep talking about this.

I don't relate to it.    

I don't understand it.

KHLOE: She holds and harbors    

all this resentment towards my

mom.    

Okay, that's fine, but let's

work things through.    

I don't understand, like, why

Kourtney would want to just hold    

on to that negative space that

they're in.    

For her, I think it's a way to

heal.    

Like, if she discusses... I don't

know.    

I'm still trying to figure it

out.    

KRIS: But then she's got to

accept that circumstance in her    

life and not put it on someone

else to be responsible for her    

happiness.

I still have scars, right here.    

See these three scars?

KHLOE: Why are you bringing    

up the negative?

KRIS: This. Because that's    

where she pinched me when she

was a teenager.    

KHLOE: She didn't pinch you,

she scratched you.    

KRIS: This was more than a

scratch if I'm still carrying it    

around at   .

KHLOE: A pinch is nothing.    

She dug her nails into you.

KRIS: That's right.    

KHLOE: She clawed you.

KRIS: She clawed me.    

KHLOE: Well, I really feel

like the only way to, like,    

resolve any of this or even

just for, like, you can talk to    

me until you're blue in the

face, but I'm not Kourtney.    

KRIS: Yeah.

KHLOE: So I feel like at some    

point you and Kourt have to

talk, but, like, enough with the    

bull(bleep). Like, talk.    

I feel like she... the things

that she says to, like, me and.    

Kim about you... KRIS: Mm-hmm.    

KHLOE: Like, she should say

to you.    

KRIS: She should.

KHLOE (British accent): Look    

at me trying to be so

responsible all of a sudden.    

KRIS: I'm proud of you.

I just figure that I'm...    

It's... you guys are so cyclical.

I just, like, I'll get...    

KHLOE: What are we?

KRIS: It's a cycle. You know.    

KHLOE: Cyclical? Wow.

You are smart.    

KRIS: I know. ♪ ♪    

KIM: Well, so you need

vision boards.    

KHLOE: So what you do first

is that I cut out words...    

KIM: Honey, I have vis...

I have mood boards all over my    

closet...

KHLOE: I mean, not... Yep.    

KIM: Of looks.

KHLOE: So I normally tear    

sheets and I cut.

So you have your system and I    

have mine. If you want...

KIM: Mine are more fashion-y.    

You know what, the problem with

me doing a vision board, I'm    

here with you, and we'll take

out... we'll cut out words.    

How about words?

'Cause pictures can offend me.    

KHLOE: We've got to buy

magazines with more pictures and    

less words. ]] KIM: Mm-hmm.    

KHLOE: The cutest dog, this

Chow Chow.    

KIM: That's my fav dog, so...

KHLOE: But they're really    

aggressive.

KIM: Really aggressive.    

KHLOE: Let's pull it out in

case we want to put it on our    

vision board. ]] KIM: Yep.    

(Gabbana whines)

Did anyone see that?    

KHLOE: She had a little bit

of a seizure.    

KIM: She fully convulsed.

No, I think she's...    

That's really sad.

KHLOE: Yeah, she's getting    

old. I don't know what to do.    

I think about it all the time.

It took her, like,    minutes to    

get up the other day.

It was really sad.    

KIM: It's nearing time.

Any month now.    

KHLOE: Any month now?

KIM: That's so sad.    

She literally convulsed.

KHLOE: Look at her stomach.    

KIM: She, like, shook.

KHLOE: Yeah, I saw that.    

Okay. Oh, okay. Just relax.

That's so sad.    

KIM: That breaks my heart.

Gabbana is really getting old,    

and I'm just sad because Gabbana

and Khloe are really, like, two    

peas in a pod and Gabbana's

always been there for Khloe    

during so many hard times.

And obviously, when you have a    

dog for so many years, you know

at some point, you know, she's    

not gonna be here.

(Gabbana panting)    

KHLOE: Hi, Gabbana.

Hi, Gabbana. Hi.    

(Kim gasps) What?    

KIM: Cher says, "I think the

Cher hair trend is..." that's    

what the interviewer said, and

then her answer is,    

"A good look.

I saw Kim Kardashian West    

do it and thought it was so

great."    

KHLOE: How awesome!

Does she not look impeccable?    

It's out of control how good she

looks.    

KIM: She will forever be the

O.G.    

(Khloe laughs) ♪ ♪    

(indistinct conversation)    

PENELOPE: I'm done.

KOURTNEY: You're done?    

PENELOPE: Yeah.

KOURTNEY: I don't think you    

ate. ]] PENELOPE: I ate bread.    

KHLOE: Kourt.

Kourt, I have something to say    

to you.

I was talking to MJ today, she    

said something how Mom said to

her, something like, "Oh, you've"    

"never cooked for us" or

something, and MJ was like,    

"You know, it's so funny, Mom's

memory of me."    

And I was like, "That's like

Kourtney; Kourtney's memory of."    

Mom is very negative."

And she was like, "Yeah, she    

remembers when Mom was going

through her divorce."    

For some reason you do not give

Mom the benefit of the doubt,    

ever, from your childhood, and

it's really unfair.    

Never was Mom locking you in a

cabinet, leaving you with food,    

or no food, for, like, weeks on

end, like...    

KIM: I had no idea she was in

labor.    

KOURTNEY: Kylie is about to

have her baby, and it's pretty    

crazy that it really hasn't been

confirmed.    

As you know, I've been going to

therapy lately, and my therapist    

says your intimate relationships

bring up childhood issues, and I    

feel like I've been... not

intentionally, but, like, I'll    

act somewhat resentful.

KRIS: I just, I never want    

you to be disappointed in me.    

KHLOE: For some reason, you

do not give Mom the benefit of    

the doubt, ever, from your

childhood, and it's really    

unfair.

You only remember with Todd or    

this or that, but...

KOURTNEY: I don't sit there    

and dwell about Todd.

KHLOE: No, we're not saying    

that.

KRIS: You have your own Todd    

right now.

KOURTNEY: No, I actually    

don't.

I'm actually not married, and    

I'm not having an affair.

You can't compare one to the    

other.

That's absolutely not true.    

I don't think it's even about

talking to my mom about it.    

I think it's, like, we all have

different experiences with my    

mom, and I think it's not

something, really, that my mom    

can fix. KHLOE: I'm just saying,    

sometimes our memories get a

little warped by our age.    

KOURTNEY: Yeah.

KHLOE: I'm just saying, but    

don't be so hard on your mom.    

♪ ♪    

(Honey barking) ]] KHLOE: Ooh!    

Just plopping on down.

When do you figure out    

breastfeeding schedules?

Do I determine that?    

KOURTNEY: Well, I used to,

like, feed on demand, but    

usually after, I think, a month,

and I think it's every four    

hours. ]] KHLOE: That's not bad.    

So, you and Mom, like, all this

tension at dinner the other    

night. Why?

KOURTNEY: Obviously, issues    

have come up in therapy, since

I've started going, of issues    

that I have with her, but I'm

not, like, looking to hold on to    

them for my whole life and,

like, have an issue with her.    

KHLOE: Mm-hmm.

But I think it's confusing,    

like, to all of us, like, why

now when you are almost   ?    

And you are a mom, I would think

you would be more compassionate    

or understanding as a mom that's

dating and trying to figure out    

her life, like...

KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.    

KHLOE: Probably how confusing

it is just for you.    

KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.

KHLOE: And I think that    

you're not as understanding as I

thought you would be with Mom.    

I know Kourtney for some reason

feels more comfort in talking to    

a stranger about family stuff

rather than talking to the    

source, and I would be fine with

that if then Kourtney took    

whatever her and her therapist

talked about, and then came to    

the source.

But, like, that's the part we're    

missing.

And that's what's frustrating    

to us all, 'cause we could never

resolve something, or work    

through something, or just even

fight about something if we    

don't know what's going on.

It's always us pulling teeth and    

guessing what's wrong with her.

I think you feel almost    

embarrassed to say that you do

care.    

Like, you're allowed to care.

You should want your mom's love    

and affection and...

KOURTNEY: Yeah, I'm just    

saying truly in my everyday

life, I'm not, like, sitting    

there...

KHLOE: Because you got used    

to not... ]] KOURTNEY: Right.    

KHLOE: You got used to not

having it, but that doesn't mean    

you still don't want it.

Why don't you talk to Mom?    

Like, calmly, and don't raise

your voice, don't say, like,    

trigger words, like, just

communicate.    

(Honey barking)

KOURTNEY: Honey is wild.    

KHLOE: Honey needs to be on...    

KOURTNEY: She just needs

attention.    

KHLOE: I don't think kids

should have a dog until they're,    

like, older.

Unless the parent will take    

care of it. ♪ ♪    

I've been at work all

day long, and I come home, and.    

Gabbana just can't get out of

her bed.    

I love you.

Like, right now, she doesn't    

even shake her tail or anything.

Which is just not like her, and    

you can tell, like, she's

breathing a little strangely,    

but, like, she's tense right

here.    

Well, she feels tense and, like,

I had to put her legs back    

together 'cause they slid apart,

but you can tell she just can't    

move from this position.

And I don't know why.    

She just couldn't get herself

up, and I just knew that    

something was wrong with her.

I mean, do we think she's dying?    

Look at her, she won't move.    

Thankfully, both of my

assistants are so sweet, they    

both come over, and they help me

lift her and take her to the    

vet.    

VETERINARIAN: So, she has

what I suspect to be cancer    

called hemangiosarcoma.

We ultrasounded her heart and    

saw a heart-based tumor; That's

why she was having trouble    

breathing.

Her heart rate is slowing    

significantly, and I, um, think

her end is, unfortunately, near.    

(Khloe makes kissing sound)

KHLOE: I love you.    

Oh, I can't handle this...    

KRIS: We're hours away.

(baby crying)    

I can already tell that Kylie is

gonna be the most amazing mom.    

KOURTNEY: How did she do for

her labor?    

KRIS: She did really, really

well.    

It was really exciting.

I delivered the baby.    

I pulled her out. ]] KIM: Ew.    

♪ ♪    

KHLOE: What are you doing?

Just trying to make us feel    

worse about ourselves?

You couldn't have, like, worn    

something baggy and depressing?

You had to be, like, this    

gorgeous? ]] KIM: Thank you.    

KHLOE: Like, I've already had

a bad day, you need to come out    

here with your abs? KIM: Sorry.    

KHLOE: It was such a horrible

night.    

Gabbana passed away at, like,

 :   a.m.    

We had to put her to sleep, and

it's so sad, but I am so    

thankful that she chose to go

after I was able to hug her and    

kiss her and say my good-byes to

her.    

We took her to this vet here,

and they were like, "A mass has"    

grown in her heart... and it's a

certain kind of cancer that    

forms really fast."

And then they said, "We have to    

put her down tonight."    

KHLOE: I just never, in a

million years, thought she was    

gonna die last night.

That's what the crazy part is.    

KIM: I was, like,

hysterically crying.    

And I was like, "Why? I don't

even like dogs," but I was    

hysterically crying over

Gabbana.    

KHLOE: You secretly loved

her, secretly.    

Like, you would always give her

cereal.    

KIM: It's so sad.

KHLOE: Kourtney said she    

cried.

Tristan was like, "I appreciate"    

"her. I've not..." 'cause he's

never owned a dog, and he was,    

like, "I never liked dogs until

Gabbana."    

He's like, "She was a great

little lady."    

I was like, "Oh, she was."

KIM: The house felt empty    

today. ]] KHLOE: It is empty.    

The house is empty.

The house will never be the    

same. ♪ ♪    

You know, none of us want

Gabbana in pain, so I think    

we're all happy that Gabbana's

in a better place.    

Hey, Goober.

I was really nervous to tell.    

Kendall and Kylie.

And Kendall was devastated.    

PENELOPE: Look at Gabbana!

KRIS: Gabbana has really been    

a best friend to every single

member of our family, but kind    

of at different times.

She's been there for Khloe    

through a lot of really bad

times.    

KHLOE: Aw, she wants the red

one.    

KOURTNEY: Oh!

KHLOE: She's just such a    

sweetheart.

KOURTNEY: She's a sweet girl.    

KIM: You have great teeth,

Gabbana.    

(Khloe laughs) She does.    

Gabbana has, like, always been

that soul there by Khloe's side.    

KHLOE: Isn't our dog so cute?

SCOTT: And you're a good dog.    

KHLOE: Hey, Goobs.

It's so crazy to me that a dog    

could touch your life the way

Gabbana's touched my life.    

I mean, she's been with me

through so much, and when I've    

been alone and had nobody,

Gabbana was always there, and I    

always felt protected, even

though she wouldn't hurt a fly.    

And I always just had a buddy

and a companion.    

I could always hear her in my

home, and now I hear silence,    

and it's just crazy she's just

gone.    

♪ ♪    

KRIS: Are you tired?

You must be exhausted.    

KHLOE: (sighs) Yeah.

I mean, I'm just so    

uncomfortable in this body.

(groans)    

KRIS: This is like a variety

show.    

It's pregnant, menopausal,

perfect.    

KHLOE: What fetish are you into?    

(Kris laughs) ♪ ♪    

KOURTNEY: I typically don't

love confrontation, and sitting    

in front of Khloe wasn't the

best time for me to have this    

conversation with my mom,

but if my going to therapy and,    

you know, figuring this all out

is making me resentful towards    

my mom, which is not how I want

to feel and it's not how I want    

to treat her, then I feel like

it is worth having a    

conversation with her, just to

let her know that's not my    

intention and that it's really

about me working on myself.    

Um, so I wanted to talk to you.

KRIS: Mm-hmm.    

KOURTNEY: Because I feel like

I've been somewhat resentful,    

but I don't want to be feeling

this way.    

KRIS: Kylie! Hey, Ky.

Hi, Stormi.    

KHLOE: Oh, my gosh.    

KOURTNEY: I wanted to talk to

you because I feel like I've    

been somewhat resentful, but I

don't want to be feeling this    

way.

As you know, I've been going to    

therapy lately, and my therapist

says your intimate relationships    

bring up childhood issues, and I

just don't think it's fair if    

I'm not communicating it, and I

don't want to go back in time    

and be, like, "Let's talk about

all the reasons," you know.    

I even asked my therapist, like,

I don't want to be feeling this    

way, like, this is, like, why am

I coming to therapy to just,    

like, I didn't feel this way

ever, you know?    

KRIS: Mm-hmm.

KOURTNEY: Like, for years.    

You know, she was like, "It'll

pass, you just have to, like",    

get through it."

And I feel like it has passed,    

and I'm not, like, feeling that

way anymore, but I just wanted    

to explain that to you so you

understand where it's coming    

from.

KRIS: I know that sometimes    

you've made jokes or-or even

talked seriously about your    

childhood, and at the time...

KOURTNEY: But I'm not here to    

go back in time and start

dwelling on childhood stuff.    

KRIS: I know, but I'm just...

KOURTNEY: I'm just saying, it    

got brought up from me going

to therapy.    

What we usually do as a family

is we criticize each other,    

we're judgmental, and we give

each other an attitude and    

we're bitchy.

So, moving forward in life, I've    

made it a point with my sisters

already to, like, not accept    

that anymore.

KRIS: All I want for you is    

your... the best, most joyful,

peaceful life that you can have.    

And whatever it takes for me to

be a part of that, that's all I    

want.

That's the joy of my life, is    

you guys. I have nothing else.    

Just, I never want you to be

disappointed in me...    

KOURTNEY: I'm not.

KRIS: So if there's    

something you want to say, or

something that, you know, you    

need to have me work on, I'm

   % ready to work on it because    

I love you so much.

You're my firstborn, and I    

wouldn't trade that for

anything.    

I don't want you to be

disappointed in me, and if    

there's something that, you

know, you ever want to talk    

about, I just want you to

remember that I just want you to    

be happy.

That's all I care about.    

So...

KOURTNEY: Moving forward, I'm    

gonna just tell you if some... if

I don't like something, or if    

something is hurtful or whatever

instead of, like, just being a    

bitch about it. ]] KRIS: Okay.    

KOURTNEY: A lot is still up

in the air, but, you know, I've    

gone through a phase of being,

like, more sensitive to things.    

It's nothing bad, it's just

understanding and then    

understanding how that affects

our current relationships.    

Like, if there's a certain

behavior that, like, Younes will    

do or something that's similar

to things that my mom would do,    

just, like, subconsciously, it

will just bring up similar    

issues. There is, like, that    

uncomfortable place when you are

growing, but I think it's    

something I have to deal with

myself.    

KRIS: But just for the

record, you had a pretty great    

childhood.

KOURTNEY: Mom, I did, but    

there's things that just give

you issues in everyone's    

childhood. ]] KRIS: Yeah.    

KOURTNEY: Um, anyways...

I love you.    

KRIS: I love you, too.

You're my little chick.    

I love you so much.

KOURTNEY: I love you.    

I feel dizzy.

KRIS: Okay, that's 'cause    

you're shorter than me. ♪ ♪    

KRIS: Want to hold hands?

KOURTNEY: Let's go for a    

stroll.

KRIS: Let's hold hands and    

skip. KOURTNEY: You know, when I    

went to Big Sur, I skipped for a

good, like, hour and a half    

straight.

KRIS: Can I tell you what.    

Mason did when we were at

Disneyland?    

KOURTNEY: Look how cute.

KRIS: So I grabbed his    

hands... ]] KOURTNEY: Yeah.    

KRIS: And I said, "Come

on, Mason, let's skip like we"    

used to."

We were skipping, he was    

skipping with me.

It was so funny.    

KOURTNEY: He's so funny, Mase.    

KRIS: He really is funny.

In such a good way, he reminds    

me of Scott, you know?

'Cause he's got that cute    

personality. KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.    

KRIS: And he's so handsome.

KOURTNEY: Oh, look, what is    

this little store?

KRIS: Let's go in here.    

This is cute. This is so you.

KOURTNEY: I like this one    

better for you than the navy.

KRIS: For jet skiing?    

You don't like them?

KOURTNEY: They're just not    

you. The black is more you.    

KRIS: Yeah.

KOURTNEY: The navy is not    

you.

KRIS: I think Kourtney and I    

have gotten through that rough

patch and started a healing    

process.

That's a really big step in the    

right direction, especially for

her.    

She's always gonna hang on to

the past a little bit, but what    

I'm hopeful for is that we can

look forward to an amazing    

future together because I love

her more than anything.    

KOURTNEY: Oh, this is what I

was telling you, this.    

I have these. ]] KRIS: Sex dust?    

What do we do with the dust?

KOURTNEY: You put it in,    

like, water or a shake.

KRIS: Oh, I need some sex    

dust for sure.

Some sex dust and some cheese    

puffs, I'm all good. ♪ ♪    

COURTNEY: Okay.

KIM: I can't even sit down.    

Am I sitting down?

COURTNEY: Yes.    

KIM: Okay.

COURTNEY: You're on the mat.    

No, we're not gonna get on the

mat yet, though.    

KIM: Oh, okay. Okay.

Your Instagram is, like, so    

motivating. COURTNEY: Thank you.    

KIM: Like, you make me want

to get in better shape.    

COURTNEY: Well, that's what

we're doing.    

KIM: I know, I know. (Bleep)

My quads.    

COURTNEY: Okay. Ready?

KIM: Okay. Yeah.    

COURTNEY: Five...

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God, did you    

hear Kylie's in labor?

KIM: What?    

KOURTNEY: Yes.

Why aren't you there?    

KIM: Wh-What do you mean?

Why aren't you there?    

KOURTNEY: She didn't want me

there.    

KIM: She really wanted me there.    

KOURTNEY: I mean, she didn't

tell me to come there.    

KIM: I know, she planned it

with me to have me there, but    

then she asked me, and I was

like, "Well, I think Khloe is",    

like, a better delivery room

person."    

But I didn't know she is, I

don't have my phone on me.    

KOURTNEY: If she really

wanted you there, then she would    

invite you there.

KIM: No, I know, but, like, I    

had no idea she was in labor.    

♪ ♪

KIM: I had no idea she was in    

labor. KOURTNEY: All right, but    

don't act like, "Oh, she really

wanted me there."    

'Cause you would be there if she

really wanted you there.    

KIM: No, before we discussed

how it was gonna go.    

Okay, it's not a fight over who

she wants in the delivery room.    

Who cares?

KOURTNEY: No, but I think it    

is 'cause you're trying to be

like, "Oh, she really wanted"    

me."

KIM: She wanted me there and    

I said, "Khloe is the one."

So she must've picked Khloe over    

me. ]] KOURTNEY: Yeah.    

Kylie is about to have her baby

and it's pretty crazy that it    

really hasn't been confirmed, so

I don't want to be the one with    

the info or getting blamed for,

you know, someone finding out    

the secret.

KIM: I'll go to the hospital    

right after. You know...

KOURTNEY: By the way, North's    

in there eating candies.

KIM: Stop, I know. I...    

Oh, stop.

Girl, that's enough candy.    

I heard you've been eating so

much candy.    

No, no, no. We have dinner soon.

We'll have some later.    

No, no, no. Too much candy.

The cavity bugs will come, and    

all your teeth will fall out

and it will just be so bad.    

What?

NORTH: Candy. I want candy.    

♪ ♪    

KOURTNEY: I think Kylie wants

you to bring Chicago over and    

take a photo with the two of

them.    

KIM: I know. I was going to

yesterday and then I just got    

tired.

Can you believe that Kylie got    

out of the hospital with not one

report?    

KRIS: I know. It was amazing.

KIM: That's amazing.    

And now Caitlyn can never say we

have big mouths and we leak    

everything.

We kept that a secret.    

KRIS: I mean, that was a lot

of anxiety for me.    

It was crazy.

It was like, people were saying,    

"We're gonna post," you know,

"We're gonna announce this."    

And I'm like, "No!"

But she did it.    

KIM: Mm-hmm.

KRIS: Perfect. And it was    

such a positive experience for

her.    

KIM: Totally.

Everyone was just like, "Okay",    

we get it.

We get why you kept it, you    

know, private."

KRIS: It's only been a    

couple of days since Kylie had

baby Stormi.    

I can already tell that Kylie is

going to be the most amazing    

mom and is so in love with her

baby.    

♪ ♪    

KYLIE: Aw. Two burgers.    

One for me, one for the baby.

And two different fries.    

KRIS: We're hours away.

(Stormi cries)    

KIM: Kylie's always wanted to

be a mom, so this is really    

exciting for her.

She just didn't want anyone    

changing her happy moment and

her happy pregnancy, so, um, I'm    

really proud of her, that she

stuck to her g*n and was able    

to tell her story her way.

KOURTNEY: How did she do for    

her labor?

KRIS: She did really, really    

well.

She just kept saying, "I just"    

"don't feel any pain," and you'd

see these contractions like    

crazy.

And she would go, "I just, I'm"    

not feeling it."

And I'm like, this is really    

weird. She was such a trooper.    

She really was. She was so calm.    

It was really exciting.

I delivered the baby.    

KOURTNEY: She told me.

KRIS: I delivered her.    

KIM: You did? ]] KRIS: Yes.    

KOURTNEY: She told me.

KIM: I didn't hear that.    

KRIS: Yes! I delivered the

baby! I pulled her out.    

KIM: Ew. (Kourtney laughs)    

♪ ♪    

KIM: You look so cute right now.    

KHLOE: What? KIM: And skinny.    

KHLOE: Okay, now I know

you're lying.    

KIM: No, I'm serious.

KHLOE: Hi, Chi Town.    

What's going on, girl?

Are you trying to wave at us?    

Hi, girl.

I have a present for you,    

Kendall. KENDALL: What is this?    

KHLOE: Gabbana's actual paw

print.    

KENDALL: (gasps) Oh!

KHLOE: I got it made for you.    

KENDALL: Thank you, sister.

KIM: That's so cute.    

KHLOE: I know you wouldn't

want one. (Laughs)    

KIM: I mean, like, I would

have, like, a paw print on a    

piece of paper.

KHLOE: The only one that    

would want one is Kenny.

KENDALL: I love it. Aw.    

KHLOE: Don't ever say I

didn't get you anything.    

KENDALL: I love it.

KHLOE: Kendall and Gabbana    

have always been really close

and had a great relationship.    

KIM: I think it's time to eat.    

KHLOE: The bond we all had

was so strong and beautiful and    

it's crazy she's just gone.

KIM: Yummy.    

KRIS: This looks so good.

KHLOE: Does everyone know the    

necklace I got Kendall?

KRIS: What?    

KENDALL: It's Gabbana's paw

print.    

KRIS: Kendall. Aw.

COREY: Aw, that's tight.    

KENDALL: Isn't it cute?

KHLOE: And I got her ashes    

today, but I have Gabbana's bed,

and I haven't felt the need to    

get rid of it yet, but I feel

like now I want to sub Gabbana's    

bed for a baby bed.

I think it's time.    

KIM: That's really sweet.

KHLOE: Today was actually the    

first day that I felt like I

could take her bed out of my    

room.

Whenever I would come back from.    

Cleveland, Gabbana would be

there and she was just my buddy.    

But now whenever I come back

from Cleveland I'll have a baby.    

I'm grateful that Gabbana left

me at a time where she knew I    

wouldn't be alone.

COREY: Well, have you seen    

the facilities yet, where you're

giving birth?    

KHLOE: No.

KOURTNEY: Don't go see them    

in advance. ]] KHLOE: Why?    

KOURTNEY: 'Cause it's not a

good idea.    

SCOTT: You know what the

rooms look like.    

KOURTNEY: She's not giving

birth there.    

KHLOE: I'm not giving birth

at Cedars.    

SCOTT: So you should go look.

KOURTNEY: No.    

The first time, we didn't look.

I had no clue what was    

happening and it's so much

better that way.    

SCOTT: Is it?

KHLOE: Tim went this weekend    

and assessed it all.

SCOTT: Okay.    

KRIS: Kylie!

KOURTNEY: Hi, Ky. Hi, Stormi.    

KHLOE: Oh, my God!

Hey, bo-bo. Mwah.    

KIM: Oh, my goodness.

KHLOE: Ours are gonna be    

twins, I think.

KIM: Oh, she just gave me the    

craziest side-eye.

Did you see that?    

KYLIE: Yeah, she's...

KIM: She literally went like    

this.

KYLIE: 'Cause she knows you    

kissed me first before my mom.

KHLOE: And she'll never let    

that down.

KENDALL: What happened?    

KHLOE: Kim got to kiss her

before Kylie did.    

KIM: It was, like, days later.    

Who knew that she didn't kiss

her on the mouth?    

KYLIE: She was like, "Ooh!"

And jokingly was like, "Ooh,    

"look, I'm your first kiss," and

kissed her, and I was like...    

(gasps)

KHLOE: Kylie's like, "That is"    

not funny."

KIM: Stop. Will you text that    

to me? ]] KHLOE: Oh, my God.    

KENDALL: Let me see.

KIM: We're gonna have, like,    

a book of, like, the triplets.

KYLIE: I know.    

KIM: Okay, so now that it's,

like, all said and done...    

KYLIE: Mm-hmm.

KIM: What is your real    

take on pregnancy?

KYLIE: I like it. I miss it.    

KIM: You miss it?

KYLIE: Yeah, I had, like, the    

easiest pregnancy ever.

Like, you just feel... you never    

feel alone and, like, I was

really sad to not be pregnant    

anymore. ]] KIM: That's so cute.    

KYLIE: Khloe, I'm just so

excited for you.    

I can't wait.

KRIS: I'd like to raise a    

glass and make a toast to Khloe,

another little Kardashian that    

you're bringing into the world.

Next there'll be nine.    

KOURTNEY: Cheers, everyone.

ALL: Cheers.    

KOURTNEY: Yay to Khloe.

KYLIE: Cheers to Khloe.    

Stormi's not gonna be the new

girl in town anymore.    

KIM: Chicago was, like, the

new girl in town for, like, a    

day. ]] KYLIE: Two weeks.    

KOURTNEY: And now Stormi's

got three months, maybe, as the    

new girl.

KYLIE: Anyone else pregnant?    

KRIS: Nope. Not me. I'm good.

KIM: Nope, but...    

COREY: Wait a minute. Wait,

wait, if you get...    

KIM: Just kidding. (Laughter)    

Keeping Up

With the Kardashians...    

WOMAN: You're always working

and you need to have a better    

work-life balance.

WOMAN: To our world tour.    

WOMAN  : Our world tour.

KENDALL: Tour.    

KHLOE: Are you and Kanye good?    

KIM: We had a fight 'cause I

wouldn't get him a Band-Aid.    

KHLOE: Kim, like, you

completely left Kourtney on that    

(bleep) e-mail.

KIM: I was talking about.    

Kourtney in the e-mail as if she

wasn't on the e-mail.
{"type": "series", "show": "Keeping Up With the Kardashians", "episode": "15x07 - The Perfect Stormi"}