MUSIC IN:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

(MUSIC OVER ACTION)

DUCKY: Mister Palmer! Mister Palmer!(SFX: MUFFLED MUSIC B.G.)

JIMMY: Yes, Doctor!

DUCKY: As a serious and dedicated student of anatomy... you are a serious and dedicated student of anatomy, are you not?

JIMMY: Uh-huh.

DUCKY: Well then, Mister Palmer, are you up to the task of identifying the reconstructive blunder that has been foisted upon our deceased?

JIMMY: Uh... uh...

DUCKY: Would you call that a thumb?

JIMMY: I would call that a toe.

DUCKY: Why then, perchance, did you place it with the other digits from his right hand?

JIMMY: Because that's where it belongs. If you look at the scar line, it matches perfectly. Plus his right foot had a cleanly amputated big toe. This guy lost his thumb in an accident or something and had surgery to replace it with the big toe.

CUT TO:

INT. COURTROOM - FLASHBACK

(MONTAGE OF FLASHBACK COURTROOM SCENES)

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: My god. I think I know who this is.

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

"THE MEAT PUZZLE"(SFX: KEYBOARDING B.G.)

TONY: Mmm, I love Filomena's ice cream.

KATE: Filomena's in Georgetown?

TONY: My standard first date place.

KATE: I went there on a first date Saturday night.

TONY: Yeah? After dinner, I like to stroll the lucky lady down Wisconsin to this pretentious gallery called "Impressions." Boy, they really eat it up.

KATE: That's where we went after dinner.

TONY: Really? Huh.

KATE: You've been following me.

TONY: Me, follow you on a Saturday night? Not that desperate, Kate.

KATE: I don't believe you.

TONY: Well, on my mother's life I was not following you.

GIBBS: Your mother's d*ad.

TONY: I didn't follow her, boss. I do know her boyfriend, Steve Adler.

KATE: He's not my boyfriend! I don't believe this.

MCGEE: Did you tell her about your fraternity brother yet?

TONY: I was just getting to the good part there, McGee.

KATE: Steve Adler is your fraternity brother?

TONY: I'd show you the secret handshake, (WHISPERS) but then I'd have to k*ll you.

KATE: (WHISPERS) He told you about our date?

TONY: Well, not the intimate details... until I asked him. Then he had to. (WHISPERS) It goes with the oath.

KATE: Gibbs!

GIBBS: DiNozzo!

DUCKY: Jethro, I need you in autopsy.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

DUCKY: What he had was a great toe transplantation. An incredibly arduous surgical procedure. Nerves smaller than a human hair are connected using microscopic sutures.

GIBBS: They sewed his toe to his hand?

DUCKY: Exactly. In a catastrophic injury when the thumb is lost, the patient's Hallux, or big toe, is removed and attached to the hand.

JIMMY: The opposable thumb is one of the most important milestones in human evolution. It's what makes us, us. Our ability to make tools, a defining element which separates us from the animals, comes directly from this dexterity.

DUCKY: Drawn out digressions is a privilege earned, Mister Palmer.

JIMMY: Sorry, Doctor.

DUCKY: If I'm right, the victim's name is Michael Grant. He was a Baltimore district attorney. Ten years ago I testified at several cases he was prosecuting.

GIBBS: About the other bodies, Duck.

DUCKY: Well, at this point I still have no idea who they are.

GIBBS: We need positive I.D.'s, Duck.

DUCKY: The flesh was peeled off the pads of the fingers.

JIMMY: That rules out fingerprints.

DUCKY: And the flesh and skin of the face has also been removed. So photographic identification won't be possible either.

GIBBS: Dental?

DUCKY: Unless we can find a piece of Michael Grant's DNA, the dental records will have to do.

GIBBS: Do it.(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

DUCKY: Jethro, a barrel is left at Bethesda in my jurisdiction containing three dissected bodies, one of whom I knew. This isn't a coincidence, is it? (b*at) I didn't think it was. (SIGHS)

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: Possible ID on one of the Meat Puzzle bodies. A D.A. named Michael Grant.

TONY: Hey cool! After six months, we finally got a lead, huh?

GIBBS: Find out if he's been reported missing. Kate, pull the cases that Ducky testified where Michael Grant was the lead attorney.

KATE: On it.

TONY: Psst! Hey, it looks like we're going to work late. So do you want me to call Steven and cancel your dinner reservation?

KATE: This is a nightmare.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: If you have a thought about continuing your genetic line, I would suggest a change of position.

JIMMY: Oh.

DUCKY: Jaws expand and contract, Mister Palmer. Teeth wear, but fillings, crowns, and bridges remain.

DUCKY: Now let's see... four fillings on the lower left bicuspids. Crowns on the upper left molars.

JIMMY: It's him.

DUCKY: Yes, it's he.

JIMMY: Doctor Mallard, on a more personal note.

DUCKY: It's not the best time, Mister Palmer.

JIMMY: I just want you to know that I am determined to learn from you.

DUCKY: Your point quickly.

JIMMY: Well, it's important for me to know that you know that even though there are nearly two thousand pieces of tissue on these tables, that I...

DUCKY: Please come to the point, Jimmy!

JIMMY: I know the difference between a thumb and a toe.

DUCKY: Ah.(DUCKY WALKS O.S.)

JIMMY: He called me Jimmy.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

TONY: Michael Grant disappeared eight months ago hiking the Appalachian Trail. His body was never found. Local LEOs could never determine if he got lost or k*lled.

DUCKY: Definitely k*lled. The poor fellow was then dissected into small pieces, put in a barrel of alcohol along with two other bodies, and deposited in a dumpster behind Bethesda Naval Hospital.

GIBBS: Dental records matched?

DUCKY: I'm afraid so, Jethro.

KATE: Ducky, remember a Judge Roland Davis?

DUCKY: Of course. A man of small stature and enormous ego. A highly competent jurist, nonetheless.

KATE: He was the judge on one of the two cases you testified, where Michael Grant was the lead attorney.

DUCKY: The significance of that, Caitlin?

KATE: He was reported missing seven months ago.

DUCKY: I'll run a dental comparison -- the judge with the other two bodies.

GIBBS: Pull up the case, Kate.

DUCKY: Oh, yes. Of course. Who could forget him? Vincent Hanlan. A medical school washout. He was studying to become a... medical examiner. He was accused of raping and m*rder a Navy Lieutenant who worked at Bethesda Hospital's pathology lab.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. PATHOLOGY LAB - FLASHBACK

DUCKY: (V.O.) I performed the autopsy. She was a beautiful girl. I believe her name was Lieutenant Sylvia...

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: Sylvia Waksal.

DUCKY: Yes, that's right. She was working late one night. Vincent Hanlan stalked her with the intention of raping her. The speculation was that he was unable to perform the r*pe.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - FLASHBACK

DUCKY: (V.O.) His impotence so enraged him that he proceeded to b*at the poor girl to death.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: When it went to trial...

CUT TO:

INT. COURTROOM - FLASHBACK

DUCKY: (V.O.) ... Michael Grant was the prosecuting attorney. Judge Davis presided. And I testified.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: The evidence was all circumstantial. So when the judge offered the jury second degree m*rder, they accepted it.

KATE: Vincent Hanlan served eight years in the Maryland Correctional Adjustment Center.

GIBBS: Kate, start building a profile on Vincent Hanlan. Tony...

TONY: Find the whereabouts of everybody else associated with prosecuting Vincent Hanlan and fast.

GIBBS: McGee, the last address for Vincent Hanlan. I want to bring him in. McGee!

MCGEE: Uh... sorry, boss. I already found him.

GIBBS: Give me the address.

MCGEE: It's twenty two Victor Road, Mount Ephraim Cemetery. He's been d*ad over a year.

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Crown, crown, match, match, filling, filling, match. As we feared, the second corpse is Judge Roland Davis.

GIBBS: Any guesses on number three here?

TONY: Carl Foss.

KATE: The jury foreman.

DUCKY: Of course!

TONY: Missing since last summer.

KATE: His x-rays are on the way over from his family dentist.

GIBBS: Are you okay, Duck?

DUCKY: I assume this macabre play is being put on for my benefit. My testimony was key in putting Vincent Hanlan in prison.

MUSICAL DISSOLVE TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - FLASHBACK

DUCKY: (V.O.) I was able to lift a partial print of Vincent's off her body.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Thinking back, I think I was slightly unnerved by Hanlan during the trial.

KATE: How so?

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - FLASHBACK

DUCKY: (V.O.) He just seemed particularly agitated when I was on the stand.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

KATE: You were the medical examiner he was never going to be.

DUCKY: I was using his failure against him.

GIBBS: You'll stay at NCIS as much as possible. Other than that, one of us will be with you at all times.

DUCKY: Jethro, my mother is ninety-six years old. She suffers from dementia. She gets very nervous when I'm not home in the evenings.

GIBBS: Tony, you'll take the first shift ... with his mother.

TONY: Uh... doing what, boss?

GIBBS: Whatever she wants.

DUCKY: Yes, it would be helpful if you could assist with the dogs.

TONY: Oh, gosh. I'm not really an animal person, Ducky. I just haven't spent a lot of time with them lately and...

DUCKY: The yappy creatures are all she has in this life... except for me, of course.

GIBBS: If Vincent Hanlan is d*ad, who is getting revenge?

KATE: His family?

GIBBS: Find them, Kate.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: According to their tax returns, Vincent Hanlan's parents are both morticians. They've run a funeral home for the last thirteen years.

GIBBS: Siblings.

KATE: One brother who's a taxidermist.

GIBBS: Mortician, taxidermist, wannabe medical examiner.

KATE: Yeah, the death obsession pretty much runs in the family.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY

FRED: Vincent's conviction tore the family apart. His death pretty much put us under. Through here.

CUT TO:

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - DAY

(DOOR OPENS)

FRED: Mary.

MARY HANLAN: Get these people out of here!

FRED: They're federal agents.

MARY HANLAN: I don't care!

FRED: They're here about Vincent.

MARY HANLAN: They're not authorized! Get out!

GIBBS: Individuals connected with Vincent's prosecution have been found m*rder.

MARY HANLAN: Good.

KATE: Good?

MARY HANLAN: Vincent was innocent. He was a good boy. He was in medical school.

GIBBS: Jack the Ripper went to medical school.

MARY HANLAN: When my son got out of prison, he had nothing left. No hope. No promise. They labeled him a sex m*rder.

KATE: What was he doing when he got out of prison?

FRED: He was drinking a lot.

MARY HANLAN: Oh, that's all you have to say about your d*ad son!?

FRED: That isn't what I meant. I was trying to explain how difficult his life was.

GIBBS: What happened the night he died?

FRED: He was driving with his brother and they h*t a tree.

KATE: Can you think of anyone who would want to get revenge on the men who put your son in jail?

MARY HANLAN: Me! But I don't know anything about it, so why don't you just get the hell out of here before I call the authorities and have you arrested and maybe you'll go to prison! Bastards!

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Two bridges, ten crowns, seven fillings. Not exactly a paragon of oral hygiene, my dear fellow.

JIMMY: Is he Carl Foss?

DUCKY: Was there ever any doubt? Well, that's all three... prosecutor, judge, and now foreman of the jury.

JIMMY: Are you scared, Doctor Mallard?

DUCKY: Madame Curie, one of the world's most brilliant thinkers, once said, "There is nothing in life to be feared. It is only to be understood." I think it's safe to say that Madame Curie never set her eyes on a meat puzzle. Yes, I'm scared. Scared as hell. Put them away, Jimmy. They're tired of talking. They need to rest.

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

JIMMY: Yes, doctor.

CUT TO:

EXT. MALLARD HOME - DAY

VICTORIA (V.O.)Keep it down --(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(SFX: DOGS BARKING)

(DOOR OPENS)

VICTORIA: Yes?

TONY: I'm Anthony DiNozzo, Mrs. Mallard. I work with your son. He called, said I'd be coming over.

VICTORIA: You're Italian!

TONY: Yes, I am.

VICTORIA: You're a gigolo.

TONY: Ah... well, I wouldn't exactly call--

VICTORIA: You move furniture.

TONY: I could.

VICTORIA: I have a commode that has no business being here. It belongs in the lounge. I've told Donald this. He never listens.

TONY: I understand. Okay. If you'll just show me where you want the --

(SFX: DOGS GROWL)

VICTORIA: Who are you?

TONY: Anthony DiNozzo. Everyone calls me Tony.

VICTORIA: That's an Italian name.

TONY: Yes, it is. So if you'll just show me where ...

VICTORIA: Oh... gigolo. If you look down my blouse, I shall disembowel you!

TONY: (LAUGHS) That's funny.

VICTORIA: I have a Kn*fe in my brassiere.

TONY: I'll keep that in mind.

VICTORIA: Good! Who are you again?

CUT TO:

INT. HANLAN'S WORKSHOP - DAY

JONATHAN: Couldn't there be another case where these men worked together?

GIBBS: I haven't found one.

KATE: Your brother's case is the common link.

JONATHAN: I would love to have stuffed Vincent. (CHUCKLES) He would've liked that. He had a good sense of humor, Vincent did. But it's against state law. Oh! Best mammal at the regionals last year. Like anything else, you get obsessed. Becomes a way of life.

KATE: I thought pandas were endangered?

JONATHAN: Oh, they are. "Re-Creation Category." I took two black bears and bleached one. And then I sewed them together in a panda pattern.

GIBBS: Do you miss your brother?

JONATHAN: He's my brother.

GIBBS: Did you two get along?

JONATHAN: When he got out of prison, he was depressed. He couldn't go back to school. He couldn't get a job. He started drinking heavily.

GIBBS: You didn't answer my question.

JONATHAN: We were close. And I have no idea who k*lled the men that put him in jail.

KATE: What happened the night he died?

JONATHAN: Vincent was driving. He lost control. We went off the road into the woods. My head h*t the dash hard. I stumbled out of the car. I fell to my knees. When I got my bearings, I saw the car was on f*re.

KATE: Do you feel guilty you didn't pull him out?

JONATHAN: I was told he died instantly from the impact. That he never felt the flames. I think he felt the flames. Oh! Second place, Nationals. Small animal division. African civet.

(SFX: PHONE RINGS)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: (INTO) Boss, I've been running down other people involved in the Vincent Hanlan case. I've got something good.

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Spit it out, McGee.

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) The lead Detective in the Hanlan ...

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) ...Case was a Baltimore officer named Marco Cesaretti. He retired in ninety six. Missed his last rent payment. Nobody's seen him in three weeks.

(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

CUT TO:

INT. MALLARD HOME - DAY

TONY: Where do you need this? Oh, God. Mrs. Mallard? Mrs. Mallard!?

VICTORIA: Who are you!? And where are you going with my commode!

TONY: I'm your son's co-worker. Remember? Tony DiNozzo, the Italian gigolo furniture mover.

(SFX: DOOR BELL RINGS)

(SFX: DOGS BARK)

TONY: No!

(VICTORIA SHOUTS/Kn*fe FALLS TO THE GROUND)

TONY: I'm a Federal Agent, Ma'am.

VICTORIA: That's what they all say.

(SFX: DOORBELL RINGS)

TONY: Will you please go stand over there? Now! And keep the girls and boys in the other room.

VICTORIA: Stay. Quiet down.

TONY: What is it?

DELIVERY MAN: Delivery!

TONY: What kind of delivery?

DELIVERY MAN: I don't know, Sir. It just says perishable.

(DOOR OPENS)

DELIVERY MAN: Hi.

TONY: Step back, please! Step back!

DELIVERY MAN: Okay!

TONY: Thank you.

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

MUSIC IN:

EXT. MALLARD HOME - DAY

(PHOTO FLASHES)

DUCKY: Victim number four, Jethro. The size of the pieces, the cuts, are all consistent with the bodies of the D.A., the judge and the foreman.

GIBBS: The homicide detective completes the team.

DUCKY: You're forgetting the Medical Examiner, Jethro, whose testimony put Vincent Hanlan behind bars.

JIMMY: That's you!

DUCKY: Very good, Mister Palmer. He's saving the best for last.

GIBBS: It's not going to happen, Duck.

MCGEE: Boss.

DUCKY: You may load it, Mister Palmer.

JIMMY: Right. Should I...uh... roll it?

DUCKY: Well, one could do that, but I think it might be easier if you used the hand trolley.

JIMMY: Oh, oh, of course. I was so distracted by its contents, I didn't notice it.

DELIVERY MAN: Here. Let me help you with this.

MCGEE: The guy, who works for an independent delivery service downtown, picked up the barrel from a new client on Twenty-seventh Street. That's the order.

GIBBS: Universal Scrap Metal.

MCGEE: The owner called it in. The print's kind of small. Even I had trouble reading it.

GIBBS: Print's fine, McGee. Jeffrey... Jeffrey Winston.

MCGEE: Actually, it's Jeffrey Wilson. But you're very close, Boss.

GIBBS: Are you sure it's Wilson?

CUT TO:

INT. PORCH - DAY

KATE: Gibbs is right. Whoever he is, he's not going to get you.

DUCKY: There is only one thing better than looking into the eyes of a beautiful woman and have her say that everything is going to be all right.

KATE: And what's that, Ducky?

DUCKY: My saying it to her.

JIMMY: All loaded, Doctor!

GIBBS: You stick to him like...

KATE: Glue.

GIBBS: An ex-wife after an alimony check.

KATE: (LAUGHS) Gibbs, what did Ducky look like when he was younger?

GIBBS: Ilya Kuryakin.

(TONY LAUGHS)

TONY: The sweet smell of freedom!

GIBBS: Mrs. Mallard?

TONY: Sleeping. Her usual afternoon fistful of Wild Turkey. Her last words to me were either "I'm going to slit your throat" or "kiss your moat." I couldn't tell because she was slurring.

GIBBS: That's good work, Tony.

TONY: Thank you, boss. So who's taking over for me now?

GIBBS: Kate's on protection detail with Ducky.

TONY: Yeah.

GIBBS: McGee's going with me to interview the guy who delivered the barrel.

TONY: Yeah.

GIBBS: I guess that leaves you.

TONY: Me? Boss, I just spent all day playing furniture mover for this slightly demented old lady and her pack of yapping hounds.

GIBBS: They're not hounds, DiNozzo. They're Corgis!

TONY: No, Boss! No, Boss! I'm on the verge, man! McGee?

(SFX: CAR STARTS)

TONY: (SHOUTS) Boss, I'm going to go postal! I'm not kidding! I'm this close!

(SFX: DOGS BARK)

TONY: Here's Tony! Come on. Here you go. Guys, come on. We've got treats in the house. In the house! We've got treats. Good boy, Tyson.

CUT TO:

EXT. SCRAP YARD - DAY

WILSON: Are you going to badge me? That's what they say on T.V.

GIBBS: NCIS. Naval Criminal Investigative Service.

WILSON: I know what it stands for. I wasn't always in the junk business. U.S.S. Forestal. Machinist's Mate First Class.

GIBBS: Are you Jeffrey Wilson?

WILSON: This is about that barrel, ain't it? I knew that deal was too good.

GIBBS: Tell us about that.

WILSON: Well, this dude comes in. He buys a few of those.

GIBBS: Where'd you get them?

WILSON: Back of plants, factories. They don't want 'em. I clean 'em up, resell 'em.

GIBBS: Okay. Go on.

WILSON: Well, the dude brings one of them back. It's got some kind of liquid in it 'cause I can hear it sloshing around. So first I thought it might be some stuff to make meth. He offers me two hundred bucks to messenger it someplace in Reston.

MCGEE: Probably didn't give his real name.

WILSON: No name, no address. He didn't tell me what was in it. And I didn't ask.

GIBBS: I need you to come by the Navy Yard, sit down and describe him to a sketch artist.

WILSON: Won't do no good. Dude always wore a hooded sweatshirt and shades. He could've been Elvis. What was in that barrel anyway?

GIBBS: A meat puzzle.

CUT TO:

INT. NCIS LAB - DAY

(MUSIC PLAYS B.G.)

ABBY: Oh! Gibbs, you scared me.

GIBBS: Come on, Abs. You sleep in a casket dressed in a funeral gown.

ABBY: I don't always wear the gown.

GIBBS: Too much information. What do we got here?

ABBY: Straight to the point. That's our Gibbs. Okay, bottom line. The sicko that's k*lling everyone that sent Vincent Hanlan to jail is definitely not Vincent Hanlan.

ABBY: Before Ducky went to see his mom, he checked the dental x-rays with those from the Maryland Correctional Adjustment Center.

GIBBS: Vincent Hanlan is in the casket.

ABBY: Every last inch of what is probably very rotting flesh at this point.

GIBBS: What about a DNA testing?

ABBY: Maryland incinerates all biological evidence three years after sentencing.

GIBBS: Okay, find an earlier x-ray. Before he went to prison.

ABBY: Before? Before.

CUT TO:

INT. MALLARD HOME - DAY

(DOOR OPENS)

DUCKY: Mother, I'm home!

KATE: Your dogs.

DUCKY: Not just dogs, Kate. Welsh Corgis. In Wales the Corgi was the protector of the farmer. Now they protect my mother. That's Tyson.

KATE: Because he thinks he's a boxer?

DUCKY: No, because he bites. The bedrooms are upstairs, of course. Mine's there. You could use the guest room.

KATE: I won't be sleeping, Ducky.

DUCKY: Of course.

KATE: Where's your mother's room?

DUCKY: Oh, she sleeps down here now.

KATE: It must be difficult for her to get up the stairs at her age.

DUCKY: It has nothing to do with stairs, Caitlyn. Her snoring is deafening. She kept me awake all night. She'll keep you awake, too. Hello.

CUT TO:

INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

(SFX: HAIRDRYER B.G.)

DUCKY: Hello?(DOOR OPENS)

VICTORIA: There you are, Contessa. You're beautiful.

(SFX: KATE LAUGHS)

KATE: Oh Tony, you finally found your true calling.

DUCKY: Mother, may I present Caitlyn. She works with Tony and me.

(SFX: VICTORIA SPITS)

DUCKY: Mother! We talked about this! Caitlyn is here to protect us.

VICTORIA: Show me your knickers.

KATE: Um... Ma'am?

VICTORIA: Your underwear, missy. One can always tell a woman's intention from her panties.

TONY: That's always been my philosophy.

DUCKY: I do apologize. Come along, Mother! Time to get dinner ready.

VICTORIA: Haven't I had dinner?

DUCKY: No you haven't.

VICTORIA: Well, use butter tonight. You always use bacon fat.

DUCKY: I use canola oil.

VICTORIA: I can tell that, too.

TONY: Sometimes older people can make so much sense.

KATE: You're relieved, Tony.

TONY: Oh, god. Okay, this is Contessa. She likes it rough.

KATE: Good night, Tony.

TONY: Yeah, look at the time. I've got to meet Steven for a beer. Hate to be late. So much to catch up on.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

(SFX: PHONE RINGS)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: (INTO PHONE) Vincent Hanlan's dental x-rays just arrived from medical school.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: McGee, you're with me. Come on.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

JIMMY: These x-rays were taken at Vincent Hanlan's autopsy. And these were eleven years ago in medical school. And if you look closely, you can see a perceptible difference due to molar wear, which is highly unusual given the short span of years, at least in modern man. In Neolithic man, who used to gnaw a lot of bones, you know, it could incur these kinds of...

GIBBS: Are you telling me these x-rays match?

JIMMY: I'm afraid so. The fillings in the upper third molar and second bicuspid are identical, as are the shape of the teeth.

GIBBS: He gnaws on bones like a caveman?

JIMMY: I can't explain that.

MCGEE: He grinds his teeth, boss. I did it as a kid in my sleep. Had to wear a special retainer at night.

ABBY: You still should.

GIBBS: I want Vincent Hanlan's body exhumed.

JIMMY: Why? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that, Sir. It just... it just spewed out.

GIBBS: Abby, call Mount Ephraim Cemetery. McGee, you're with me. You dig up that body!

ABBY: Love to!

JIMMY: He's supposed to get a judge's authorization. He didn't even give us a reason why!

ABBY: Well, obviously Gibbs doesn't think that Hanlan is d*ad.

JIMMY: He is d*ad. Dental x-rays don't lie.

ABBY: Well, either Gibbs is wrong or Hanlan is one of the d*ad that still walks at night.

JIMMY: Okay, well then Gibbs is wrong. Isn't he?

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

(SFX: DOG BARKS O.S.)

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/KATE WALKS THROUGH THE HOUSE)

CUT TO:

EXT. YARD - NIGHT

KATE: Mrs. Mallard? Mrs. Mallard.(SFX: DOG CONTINUES BARKING B.G.)

VICTORIA: Sneaking off after having your fun. Just as I knew you would.

KATE: No, it's not like that, Mrs. Mallard. Now please, I need you to take your dog and go back inside.

VICTORIA: That's not my dog.

KATE: Of course it's yours. Now, please, Mrs. Mallard!

VICTORIA: I've never seen that dog before in my life. I only have Corgis.

KATE: Get back inside now!

CUT TO:

INT. MALLARD HOME - NIGHT

KATE: (SHOUTS) Ducky! Ducky!

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

(KATE RUNS FROM THE HOUSE)

(SFX: CAR DOOR CLOSES)

(SFX: CAR TIRES SCREECH)

KATE: (SHOUTS) Ducky!

(MUSIC OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: Gibbs, I'm sorry.

GIBBS: It's my fault. Two agents...

KATE: Excuse me?

GIBBS: Two protectees. I should have had two agents. You were as responsible for the mother as you were for Ducky.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

TONY: Boss! Abby says the tire tracks from the van were made from Uniroyal Laredos. They're standard on Chevy Express cargo vans.

MCGEE: Both the funeral home and the taxidermy business own Chevrolet Express Cargo vans.

GIBBS: That's good enough for a search authorization.

TONY: On it.

GIBBS: Tony, you and Kate take the turkey stuffing brother. McGee, come on. You're with me.

CUT TO:

INT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY

MARY HANLAN: You have no right to inv*de my home and my business.

MCGEE: Actually, that search warrant says we do, Ma'am.

MARY HANLAN: Don't Ma'am me you simpering wimp!

MCGEE: No, Ma'am.

GIBBS: Unlock this door.

MCGEE: Ma'am, if you impede our search in any way, you will be charged with obstruction.

GIBBS: That's not the way to do this. I have the right to break down that door, and anything in my way.

CUT TO:

INT. CREMATORIUM - DAY

MARY HANLAN: Are you satisfied?

GIBBS: No. McGee, take a scraping from inside. One son beats a young woman to death, the other one plays with d*ad animals. I wonder where they get that.

MARY HANLAN: From their mother.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

JIMMY: Same teeth. Vincent Hanlan's corpse matches his autopsy x-rays.

ABBY: Teeth don't lie, Jimmy. (b*at) What?

JIMMY: Do you think... you could get a blood type from the nerve tissue in this tooth?

ABBY: If I can rehydrate it. What are you thinking?

JIMMY: I'm thinking something crazy, Abby.

ABBY: Crazy is good.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. COFFIN STORAGE ROOM - DAY

(SFX: SCREW g*n B.G.)

MCGEE: It's heavier. Definitely something in this one.

MARY HANLAN: Mister Goldberg. He's being buried in the morning.

GIBBS: Check underneath Mister Goldberg.

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/MCGEE SEARCHES THE CASKET)

MCGEE: There's nothing.

MARY HANLAN: I'll inform the Goldbergs their grandfather was frisked by NCIS in his coffin. They're litigators.

CUT TO:

EXT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TRUCK PULLS AWAY FROM THE HOME)

CUT TO:

INT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY

MCGEE: Boss, the van is on the way to the garage for forensics. What next?

MARY HANLAN: Why don't you just admit that you made a mistake and get the hell out of here.

(SFX: PHONE RINGS)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Gibbs.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

TONY: (INTO PHONE) No joy, Boss. We've looked under every furry creature and inside a couple. Ducky's not here.

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, I knew you'd find something, DiNozzo. That's good work, Tony. You bring him in for interrogation.

(SCENE CUT)

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Did you hear what I said, Boss?

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah! Yeah, I heard you. (CHUCKLES) Let's go, McGee.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

MCGEE: What'd they find?

(DOOR OPENS/CLOSES)

FRED: Jonathan called. They're searching his shop, too.

MARY HANLAN: What do they think, he's stuffed their precious doctor?

FRED: Mary, we should do something to prevent...

MARY HANLAN: Fred... Fred. Shh... shh... shh. Don't start thinking now. You're far too old for that.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

JONATHAN: I already told you.

GIBBS: Tell me again.

JONATHAN: We crashed into a tree.

GIBBS: Vincent was driving?

JONATHAN: Yes.

GIBBS: You jumped out of the car?

JONATHAN: That's right.

GIBBS: You didn't even attempt to help your brother?

JONATHAN: The car was on f*re. I was in a daze.

GIBBS: But you didn't even try.

JONATHAN: It was too hot! There was no way I could get to him.

GIBBS: What did your mother think about that?

JONATHAN: I wouldn't know. We don't talk. We haven't spoken since that night.

GIBBS: Yeah? Why is that?

JONATHAN: He was her favorite.

GIBBS: She blames you for his death. If my friend dies, I'll blame you, too.

KATE: (V.O./FILTERED) Gibbs, Jimmy Palmer ....

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

KATE: ...and Abby need to see you.

(DOOR OPENS)

JIMMY: I pulled one of Vincent Hanlan's teeth and gave it to Abby.

ABBY: We did a blood analysis of the nerve tissue and compared it to the blood type of the tissue from the corpse.

ABBY AND JIMMY: (IN UNISON) They didn't match.

JIMMY: These are Vincent Hanlan's teeth, but they were put into this jaw. This body is not Vincent Hanlan's.

ABBY: I did a gas chromatograph and I found traces of Cyanoacrylate on the bottom of the--

GIBBS: In a language I speak, Abby.

ABBY: There is Super Glue on the root of the tooth.

JIMMY: Just a drop. It would never show up on an x-ray.

KATE: So the teeth were pulled from Vincent's mouth?

JIMMY: One by one. And then they were glued back into this jaw.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: h*m* sapien. Reconstruction category. Someone took your brother's teeth and put them in that skull.

JONATHAN: It wasn't me. It was them. It's always them.

GIBBS: Your mother and Vincent?

JONATHAN: Vincent was drunk the night he slammed into that tree. We got out just before it burst into flames. When we got home, Mother had a car crash body laid out on the embalming table. Closed-casket job. She came up with the idea of giving Vincent a new life.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

TONY: He's got to be telling the truth.

KATE: Why?

TONY: Who would make that up?

JONATHAN: (MUFFLED) After she extracted Vincent's teeth and put them in the car-crash body...

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

JONATHAN: She burnt the corpse beyond recognition.

GIBBS: Where is Vincent?

JONATHAN: (CRYING) With Mother. He's always with Mother.

GIBBS: We already searched the funeral home.

JONATHAN: Look harder!

GIBBS: Is Doctor Mallard there?

JONATHAN: Probably.

GIBBS: They don't keep you informed?

JONATHAN: They have lots of secrets. Terrible secrets with each other.

GIBBS: You call your mother, Jonathan. You tell her we've released you. You tell her that everything is okay now, that we had run into a d*ad end. You convince her, Jonathan. If you don't, I will tear every tooth out of your skull!

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. STORAGE ROOM - NIGHT

(DOOR OPENS)

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

EXT. FUNERAL HOME - DAY

GIBBS: I got a light.

TONY: Let's go.

GIBBS: Wait.

TONY: For what?

GIBBS: Let them get Ducky out of wherever they've been hiding him.

TONY: Now?

GIBBS: Not yet. Okay, get into positions.

CUT TO:

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - NIGHT

VINCENT: It'll only take four minutes to drain your blood. Versus eight years in the same cell, twenty four hours a day.

MARY HANLAN: He's getting off easy, Angel.

(SFX: DUCKY'S MUFFLED CRIES B.G.)

CUT TO:

INT. FUNERAL HOME - NIGHT

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/DOOR CRASHES OPEN)

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

GIBBS: Where are they?

MCGEE: Turn around! Hands out! He's clean.

CUT TO:

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - DAY

(DOOR OPENS)

GIBBS: Get back!

(SFX: MUFFLED DUCKY CRIES CONTINUE)

GIBBS: Move back or you're d*ad! Tony?

DUCKY: My hands. Release my hands! Get me something to stop the bleeding!

KATE: Hands in the air!

VINCENT: I can't go back there.

MARY HANLAN: Just do what they say, Vincent.

GIBBS: Turn around! Face the wall!

MARY HANLAN: Just do it.

VINCENT: I love you, Mother, but I can't do this again!

MARY HANLAN: (SCREAMS) No! No! My god, no! Oh my god no! No god, they k*lled my son!

KATE: Come on, let's go!(MARY SOBS HYSTERICALLY)

DUCKY: You're the one that got off easy, my boy. What kept you?

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT

TONY: The mother finally give a statement?

GIBBS: Yeah, short one. Two words.

TONY: So, you seeing my frat brother tonight?

KATE: As a matter of fact, I am. Steven feels bad. Said he'd like to make it up to me.

TONY: How's he going to do that?

KATE: By telling me things about you.

TONY: Never gonna happen. The Fraternal oath is sacred.

KATE: Some things are even more sacred, Tony.

(MUSIC UP OVER ENDING CREDITS AND OUT)
{"type": "series", "show": "NCIS", "episode": "02x13 - The Meat Puzzle"}