Carol: I can tell without seeing them, the new neighbors are stuck up and pretentious.

Maggie: Carol, you can't judge them by their car, lots of people have BMW's.

Carol: With a bumper sticker that says 'you couldn't afford my other car either'.

Maggie: Honey as you get older you'll realize you can't make snap judgments about people.

Jason: Well I just met the jerks next door.

Maggie: Jason you've only been out there three minutes.

Jason: Yes Maggie and in that time the CreedMoors' manage to tell me their net worth that they were personal friends of Donny Trump,

and when I mentioned I was a psychiatrist, they wanted me to drop everything and to make an appointment with Lance.

Maggie: Their son?

Jason: Their dog.

Chrissy: Who's dog?

Carol: Our new neighbours, they moved in last night.

Chrissy: How come all the good stuff happens after I go to bed?

Maggie: Chrissy, we've been over this a hundred times, nothing happens after you're asleep.

Chrissy: And how come breakfast is ready when I wake up?

Mike: Good morning loyal subjects.

Jason: Hey.

Mike: Oh mom you know I woke up last night just craving your fabulous home made fudge.

Maggie: Really?

Mike: Yeah.

Maggie: I should make it for you sometime.

Mike: Oh that would be great, could you make about forty pounds of it and have it cut up and wrapped in coloured cellophane by Saturday?

Maggie: No Mike I couldn't, now what's going on?

Mike: Well Botens Date Teacher's College is having this fund raiser on Saturday and I promised that you'd make forty pounds of fudge.

Maggie: Oh, why didn't you promise I'll play show toons on a musical saw?

Mike: Well, cause I'm not on the entertainment committee.

Ben: Oh man, are the new neighbours cool or what?Well them carry some trash for the curb they slipped me five bucks.

Carol: I can't believe you accepted cash for doing a neighbourly gesture.

Ben: Why not?Do you know what their bank balance is?

Jason: Nothing compared to their net worth.

Mike: Listen Benny I need you to do a favour for me?

It's Luke's first day at Duwee High, so I just want you to stick around with him you know show him the ropes a little bit.

Ben: Oh come on Mike, you know how tough they are on new kids, I mean if I hang out with him I'll be the grand pooh ball of geek dumb.

Mike: Yeah well listen pooh, you hang out with Luke today or I'll tell mom where her Victoria's secret catalogues were.

Ben: Luke my home boy, stick close to me today and I'll show you the ropes.

Luke: Oh, so that means if I see you I can say hi?

Carol: So Luke, are you nervous about starting regular classes?

Luke: I should get the hang of it; Mike here has been tutoring me.

Carol: Be nervous, be very nervous.

Jodi: Rap tap tap.

Carol: Oh, can I help you?

Jodi: Oh, you speak English, is your employer home?

Maggie: Or you must be Mrs.CreedMoor, I'm Maggie Sever.

Jodi: Oh k*ll for Paul, please call me Jodi.

Jodi: My goodness, what are you doing Maggie?

Maggie: I'm cleaning the oven Jodi.

Jodi: Oh, those things get dirty?

Maggie: Yes they do, usually we just throw them out but I thought I'll give this a try

Jodi: I just came by to give you this.

Maggie: Ah, oh an invitation?

Jodi: Ah Elli and I are just having a little house warming suore on Friday and we said what the heck let's just invite everybody.

Maggie: Well I'll have a check with my husband.

Jodi: Oh, so you'll come, please, please, please neighbour?

Maggie: Alright we'll be there.

Jodi: Oh Maggie, well I don't know when I've have a better time well I must fly I have to go meet my colour consultant in half an hour.

I should give you her number; well she can make a silk purse out of a sowzier.

Maggie: I hope so.

Ben: Luke, my man, how was your first day?

Luke: Fine, my first day is gone.

Ben: Oh, first day in new school can always be tuff.May take many body know she name.

Sasha: Hi Luke.

Luke: Sasha Saracsky smiled to me today I can die I a happy man

Ben: You kidded with Sasha Saracsky?

Jerk: Hey, Luke, my star.

Luke: Jerk streak.

Jerk: Hu, after practice the whole g*ng is going down to the mall to go body surfing down the escalator rails, you want to come?

Luke: Great, can I bring Ben?

Jerk: Who?

Ben: Me, Ben Sever, Benno, Benny boy.You tried to k*ll me in the fourth grade with a thunder ball.

Jerk: Yeah well any friend of Luke's, wait a minute, Sever, you're the geek that's president of the chess club.

Ben: I was drafted.

Jerk: You're a very powerful man.

Ben: Actually I burst quite easily.

Jerk: You're on the nominating committee for the home coming queen?

Ben: No I'm not and I say that with the deepest respect and fear.

Jerk: Yeah you are all club presidents are on the committee.

Ben: Eh, ok.

Luke: Way to go Ben.

Jerk: I think that you should vote for Donna Kent.

Ben: Donna 'wild thing' Kent?

Jerk: She's my girl friend.

Ben: And sweetheart too.

Jerk: Don't get me wrong you see somebody who is better vote for her you just make sure you give me your number.

Luke: Ben, you're gonna meet all the hottest girls in school.

Ben: No I won't, all the presidents of the cool clubs will be upfront I'm gonna be stuck in the back with the audio visual club in the Arachnid society.

Luke: Whoa, maybe I could get you a front row seat.

Kate: Ok, here is the shopping list for the fudge; carrot powder, barley malt, arrowroot.

Mike: Wow wow wow Kate, are we making fudge or are we paving the drive way?

Kate: Mike the ingredients in regular fudge will ruin your system.

Mike: Kate, oh come on if we use your ingredients we might as well buy lettuce paint it brown and call it fudge.

Maggie: It's probably for me I am expecting a shipment of drills to test for my column.

Ben: Sever's residue, Donna Kent , ah yeah hello Donna may I say what a pleasure, yeah Luke's here.

Luke: Wild thing what's shaking?

Maggie: Ok Chrissy, eight o'clock bed time.

Chrissy: I want to see if the Chayote catches the road runner.

Maggie: Honey, the chayote never catches the road runner.

Chrissy: Thanks you ruined it for me.

Jason: Come on sweetheart you heard your mother.

Chrissy: But I need a snack.

Maggie: You had a snack.

Chrissy: Can I have a drink?

Maggie: You had a drink.

Chrissy: Not in my Mickey Mouse cup.

Jason: Chrissy.

Chrissy: It's not fair how come I have to go to bed and everyone else gets to stay up and have fun, I hear you laughing, I know what you do,

wait till Chrissy goes to bed and then party, party party.

Maggie: We'll be right up to tuck you in.

Jason: Well listen to this one, our new neighbours the Greedmoors.

Maggie: That's Creedmoor.

Jason: Yeah whatever, they want us to come to their house warming party, good luck.

Maggie: Jason.

Jason: Maggie it's a costume party for crying out loud, you couldn't pay me to set foot on their over priced property much less wear some stupid...

you said yes didn't you?

Maggie: I couldn't say no they are neighbours.

Jason: Oh Maggie.

Maggie: Oh come on Jason it'll be fun I called the costume shops and here are the costumes that are available in your size, you can be a porcupine,

Freddie Krueger, heappy loupyu.

Jason: Maggie I am a respected professional I refuse to wear anything with furs, finger nails or quills.

Maggie: Ah that rules out Libber Rochie.

Luke: But you'll ah probably go right?

Jason: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Luke: Come on, then you'll probably go right?

Maggie: Right.

Luke: Great, well I mean that costume parties are always so festive.

Jason: Festive, you've ever tried sitting down in quills?

Maggie: Let's talk about it after we tuck Chrissy in.

Luke: Ben, what are your plans for this Friday?

Ben: I'm doing nothing, I'll be home alone sitting in my room looking at the same spot on the sealing,

listening to the clock ticking away the minutes of my pathetic existence.

Luke: Good, don't make any other plans alright?

Maggie: Honey, would you like a sip of water?

Chrissy: No.

Jason: How about a quick story.

Chrissy: No.

Maggie: How about a good night kiss?

Chrissy: If you must.

Maggie: Sweet dreams honey.

Jason: Good night sweet heart.

Chrissy: Well it seems like its me and you again Mr.Bogel, everybody's downstairs having fun without me, wait a minute, this time I'm going see for myself.

Jason: Well I guess Chrissy must be asleep by now.

Maggie: What do you want to do tonight?

Jason: Woo I don't know, you want to play barbies?

Maggie: Ok guys we are gonna play barbies, you all want to join us?

Luke: Chrissy is asleep and the party is starting.

Maggie: Boys if you are going to jump hard on the sofa you need to jump harder the spring needs the exercise.

Ben: Where did you get these they're gorgeous.

Jason: Santa Claus brought them, I was just waiting for a special occasion.

Ben: I know let's watch TV and stay real close to the screen.

Luke: No we do that every night.

Maggie: I want to play something else, I know tea party.

Kate: I want to play dress up.

Luke: Ah jump rope, jump rope.

Jason: We have time for everything, we have all night.

Mike: What difference does it make what we do?As long as we do it without Chrissy.

Maggie: I know, I know, let's have something from the basic four groups; pizza, popcorn, ice cream and candy.

Ben: I can't this chips open can somebody pass me some scissors?

Luke: Why do you need scissors for, you got feet don't you?

Ben: Yeah.

Maggie: Who wants cavities?Ok I brought you some vegetables.

Mike: Oh mom are you crazy?

Katie: Not for eating for throwing.

Jason: Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey, those sofa cushions are not for hitting.they're making for feet.

Luke: Grape, my favorite.

Ben: There were never come out.

Luke: Let's blame it on Chrissy.Yeah.

Carol: Hey are you guys playing without Chrissy again?

Everyone: Yeah

Carol: Well that's great because look what I brought pony rides for everyone.

Chrissy: I knew it I caught you.

Jason: Ah, what should we do?

Mike: Put her back to bed.

Everyone chanting: Put her back to bed.

Chrissy: Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.

Maggie: Chrissy, what is it?

Chrissy: That's it I'm never going to sleep again.

Maggie: Now she sleeps.

Jason: I don't think she closed her eyes once one night Maggie, maybe it's time we tried something different.]

Maggie: Like what?Make her do military push ups until she passes out?

Jason: Or like ah why don't we let her stay up as late as she wants one night and let her see that nothing happens.

Maggie: That sounds like a interesting idea with another child and another family and another country perhaps in a separate but parallel universe.

Jason: Her bed time is eight o'clock she needs to sleep.

Jason: Is this how you want her to get it tasting table?

Maggie: Well what if she likes staying up?What if she wants to do it all the time?

Jason: She won't Maggie; we would make sure that is the most boring, un event full night of your life?

Maggie: And how would we do that?

Jason: Come on I don't have to tell you how to make a night boring, I mean you are very you are exciting and dynamic and tingly but you're an adult but to a kid she wouldn't understand, and its because come on what do you have to say?Let's give it a shake.

Maggie: Ok Jason you sweet talk me into it but if it back fires nothing happens after your bed time either.

Jason: Come on Chrissy sweet heart come on time for school come on.

Chrissy: Is a pony here?

Jason: No there's not, I am gonna make you a deal I want you to go to bed on every school night and then the first non-school night you can stay up as long as you want.

Chrissy: Really?

Jason: Really yes.We want you to see what we all do after you go to bed.

Chrissy: Do you pinky swear?

Jason: I pinky swear.

Maggie: Ok Chrissy go get your sweater and I'll take you to school.

Chrissy: Ok.

Jason: I call that an auspicious beginning.

Maggie: And I call it caving in and another thing Doctor Floyd and that the next non-school night is Friday and that's the CreedMoors' costume party.

Jason: That's great a little disappointing to me Maggie we'll have to cancel.

Maggie: Jason.

Jason: Maggie, come on what can I do?I pinky swore.

Katie: This looks like night mare on Fudge Street.

Mike: Hey relax, we are done.

Katie: I can't believe I help you make forty pounds of this stuff do you know how much fat is in this?

Why didn't I just go to the Big Sale set up a booth and sell lard?

Mike: Kate come on remember this is for a very very good cause.

Katie: Which is?

Mike: Putting a new candy machine in the student union.

Katie: For that I shelled twenty five pounds of walnuts?

Mike: Hey hey hey, I was the one who wanted to leave them in the shell you were the one worried about cracking people's teeth.

Right now listen up I'll go the wagon so we can load it up ok?

Katie: Where do we have to deliver all of this?

Mike: Hey I got the address right here.

Katie: Mike do you think there might be some important information you've overlooked here?

Mike: Ah, bring it on recycled paper?

Katie: The big sale is next month.

Mike: You know a lesser woman would be mad honey, I got to h*t it to you.

Kate: I spent the entire afternoon cooking liquid deft because you can't read instructions?

Mike: Honey look I am sorry I've never been good with dates, you forgive me?

Kate: Eat fudge and die.

Maggie: I want to talk to his supervisor, yes I'll hold, Chrissy it's eight o'clock the TV goes off.

Chrissy: Great time to party.

Maggie: Listen to me Mr.on time every time you've been giving me that sorry song for over a week now and it is Friday night,

you get me those drills tonight or else I am coming down there with a pair of hedge clippers and I'm gonna open your mail, that's right I play rough.

Chrissy: This is boring, Can we order pizza?

Jason: No Chrissy, on normal nights we don't have any special treats.

Mike: Ok, fudge for everyone.

Chrissy: Wow.

Maggie: Chrissy, this is unusual.

Chrissy: Right, can I have some?

Jason: Only if you have some milk to go along with it

Chrissy: No problem.

Luke: What are you parents doing here?

Ben: Well we have to put up with them they own the place.

Luke: I thought they were going out tonight.

Ben: It doesn't look like it, so what's the big deal?We'll go out then.

Luke: You can't.

Ben: Why not?

Luke: Because you're a mess, it's for you.

Ben: If there's a flaming bag out there you're d*ad meat.

Lady: Hi does Ben Sever live here?

Ben: Yeah, I'm Ben.

Donna: I'm Donna Kent, you may know me as 'Wild Thing'.You sit I'll dance.

Ben: Ok.

Katie: What's going on here?

Donna: This is the talent competition for home coming queen.

Ben: It is?I thought that was next week at school?

Mike: Well don't argue with the 'wild thing'.

Donna: It's definitely here tonight.

Ben: It says alright I just can't figure out, Luke, Luke must have done this.

Kate: I can't believe they'll go through all this trouble to get girls.

Mike: The kid's got talent.

Chrissy: I guess she must have figured out I was in bed.

Maggie: Chrissy I don't know what's going on here but I'm sure there's...,

Jason: I'll get it, Ah ha

Chrissy: Look that!

Maggie: May I help you?

Jodi: Say what?Your new neighbour Jody Creedmoor.

Maggie: Oh I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, You remember my husband Jason?

Jason: Yeah nice to see you again, I like that Marge Simpson thing you got going?

Jody: I felt just awful that you weren't gonna come to my little doo so I brought popo platter

Chrissy: Pizza roll?

Jody: Sun dried tomatoes and goat cheese in a tortilla skin.

Chrissy: Right, pizza roll.

Jason: This is just a coincidence.

Maggie: Oh this is so sweet of you Jodi.

Jody: Oh, it's the least I could do, by the by our plumbing has gone kerfluee,

would it be alright if a few of my very closest friends could used your bathroom?

Maggie: Oh sure.

Jody: Fluuuy.

Maggie: It's upstairs.

Chrissy: Ohhhh.

Luke: Excuse me, Aw.

Jason: Upstairs on the right follow the porcupine .

Man: I got a delivery here for Maggie Malon

Maggie: Oh great, my drills are finally here.

Man: Drills, Lady you just signed for a truck load of dolls, bring them on in.

Maggie: Oh wait guys they must be some.

Man: In here or on the lawn it's your choice.

Chrissy: I'm here I'm here, thank you, have some fudge.

Chrissy: Bo bo bo.

Maggie: Chrissy this is all a big mistake.

Jason: Nothing like this has ever happened before.

Chrissy: Ah ha, ah cool.

Kate: Mike, what are you doing?

Mike: Gotta ....spirit, what did you like that ah thing?

Girl: Is Ben Sever here.

Ben: Yow.

Girl: Pristo.

Girl: No way they started without us.

Maggie: I give up.

Jason: Carol,

Carol: I finish mid terms pull two all night up all I want to do is sleep in my own bed.

Maggie: Carol, you're not gonna get any quiet around here.

Carol: That's ok I'm totally wrecked.

Man: Oh could we use the bathroom?

Carol: Sure follow me.

Chrissy: Pony, Mummy daddy everything I've ever dreamed, I'm never going to bed again.

Maggie: What a coincidence, neither are you.
{"type": "series", "show": "Growing Pains", "episode": "07x08 - There Must Be a Pony"}