Female Member: Today is the day.

Chief: Hm? For what?

Female Member: You have to ask?

Female member: It's the day Eden College announces the admissions results.

Female Member: The results should be posted at  hours today.

Loid: This is more nerve-racking than I thought it'd be.

Yor: My bracelet just broke. Why did it have to happen today?

Loid: Oh, I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Yor: L-Loid, look.

Loid: Oh, come on, Yor. Black cats being unlucky is just a superstition.

Yor: Y-You're right.

Anya: Papa...

Loid: What's the matter?

Anya: I just stepped in poop.

Chief: Admissions results for Eden College?

Chief: Ah, the thing we've got Agent Twilight doing.

Female Member: Chief, peace between the East and West hangs on Operation Strix.

Female Member: Please take this more seriously.

Chief: You don't know Twilight very well, do you?

Female Member: C-Correct, sir.

Caption: Underwear: 

Chief: He might just be the best spy in all of Westalis, so don't worry so much.

Chief: He'll be telling us that "the sakura blossoms bloom" soon enough.

Female Member: What does that mean, sir?

Chief: It's a code phrase from the Far East.

Chief: It means they passed.

Loid: It's not there.

Sign: WILL THEY PASS OR FAIL?

Yor: We failed...

Loid: We failed...

Anya: We failed.

Loid: L-Let's head home.

Yor: I-I'll make us some tea.

Anya: I'm sorry... It's all because I stepped in poop.

Henderson: A moment, Forgers.

Loid: Master Henderson...

Loid: What is this?

Henderson: Look at the very top.

Loid: Anya Forger...

Henderson: That is the waiting list of successful applicants, though rather confidential.

Loid: A waiting list?

Henderson: Correct. Once her overall scores were tallied,

Henderson: Anya Forger placed first on that waiting list.

Henderson: If any of the current successful applicants were to withdraw,

Henderson: she'll immediately get into the school.

Loid: B-But after what we did...

Henderson: Do you know what the number one k*ller of our species on this planet is?

Loid: Huh?

Henderson: It is the mosquito!

Henderson: Yes. You saved Master Swan from that brutal k*ller back there.

Henderson: That brought your score up tremendously.

Loid: That's insane.

Henderson: Stand proud, Forger.

Henderson: Your family is worthy of our school.

Yor: So if even one person withdraws, Miss Anya will get in?

Henderson: Correct.

Yor: But if no one withdraws...

Henderson: Now, about that...

Zachry Feiss: Th-The Thorn Princess?

Zachry Feiss: What are you doing here?

Yor: Secretary Zachry Feiss, I presume?

Yor: If it's not too much trouble, I will be taking your life.

Zachry Feiss: Please, no! Spare me!

Zachry Feiss: I have a son who's just about to turn six!

Zachry Feiss: He'll be starting at Eden College next month!

Zachry Feiss: If I die, he won't be able to go to school!

Yor: I'm terribly sorry, but that's exactly why I'm doing this.

Zachry Feiss: Huh?!

Yor: For the sake of Miss Anya getting into the school...

Yor: I need you to die!

Yor: You mustn't, Yor!

Yor: You mustn't take the life of an innocent person, Yor!

Loid: Yor?

Yor: Oh, it's nothing.

Yor: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Zachry Feiss.

Henderson: Well, no matter.

Henderson: There are a few that withdraw every year.

Henderson: Make sure you are properly prepared for the eventuality.

Loid: Thank you very much, Master Henderson.

Henderson: I must warn you that I may not be teaching here by the time you arrive.

Loid: What?

Henderson: I was forced to give that swine a good thrashing.

Henderson: I was able to protect Eden's honor, but who know what ramifications await me?

Loid: That foolish man and this instructor...

Loid: I'm not sure which one will be more useful to me in my mission,

Loid: but if that fool stands in my way, I have plenty of ways to destroy him.

Loid: Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Henderson: I appreciate the attempt at consolation, my elegant boy.

Henderson: Just await that call at home.

Sign: Days Later

Anya: Anya will be accepted... Anya will be accepted...

Anya: Anya will be accepted... Anya will be accepted...

Loid: What in the world is she doing?

Yor: Apparently, she's performing a prayer dance to help her get accepted.

Anya: Anya will be accepted...

Loid: Oh... I see.

Anya: Kieeeeeeeh!

Loid: Hello, Forger residence.

Loid: Yes.

Loid: Yes.

Loid: Goodbye.

Loid: Anya got in!

Anya: Papa! I passed!

Loid: You did a great job, Anya!

Anya: I did it!

Yor: Oh, thank goodness! What wonderful news!

Yor: I'm so happy!

Loid: Thank you for all you did as well, Yor.

Franky: Heya. I heard she got in.

Franky: Time to celebrate!

Loid: You sure found out fast.

Franky: Never underestimate an informant.

Franky: Oh, you must be the missus. Pleasure to meet you!

Franky: I'm Loid's friend, Franky!

Yor: Hello.

Anya: Scruffy-scruff!

Franky: Let's get this party started! I got some booze, and I ordered delivery!

Loid: Who do you think you are?

Franky: This is all thanks to me stealing the answer sheet.

Loid: You idiot! They'll hear you!

Yor: Huh? Wha wuz zat?

Franky: Are you even drinking, you party pooper?

Loid: Leave me be.

Franky: Isn't it great, Anya?

Franky: Daddy said he'll buy you anything as a reward just for today!

Loid: Hey! Don't go promising her things like that!

Anya: I don't want you to buy me anything, but I wanna do something!

Loid: Hm? What's that?

Loid: I don't mind as long as it's doable.

Princess Honey: Save me, Bondman!

Commander (TV): Good morning, Bondman.

Commander (TV): Your mission today is to save the kidnapped Princess Honey,

Commander (TV): and take her back the castle.

Bondman: Wait for me, Princess Honey!

TV Narrator: The kingdom's best spy infiltrates the castle...

TV Narrator: Bondman!

TV Narrator: Taking down any enemy that stands in his way,

TV Narrator: he finally makes it to the princess.

Bondman: I'm here to save you, Princess Honey!

Princess Honey: Bondman!

TV Narrator: Peace was restored to the castle, and their love continued to grow.

Anya: This is what I wanna do.

Loid: What you wanna do? Wait, you mean...

Anya: I wanna play "save Anya from the castle"!

Loid: Nope. Not happening.

Franky: How cruel... You meanie!

Franky: I'm not going to school if you don't do this!

Loid: No one asked you to speak for her.

Franky: Oh, hey. I'm pretty sure that's Newston Castle.

Franky: I heard it was recently remodeled into some cartoon's theme park,

Franky: but that's definitely it.

Franky: It's got the same kinds of tricks and traps seen in the show,

Franky: and you can even rent it out.

Franky: The government doesn't have any eyes over there, Loidy Boy,

Franky: so it wouldn't hurt to have a little bit of fun.

Loid: But...

Franky: After everything she went through to pass, too.

Franky: Doesn't seem fair if you can't get some kind of reward, huh, kiddo?

Anya: Sniffle, sniffle...

Anya: Sniffle, sniffle.

Anya: Sniffle...

Loid: All right, fine.

Franky: Right, then! Let's strike while the iron's hot!

Franky: Leave the castle reservation to me. You're in charge of our ride!

Loid: Wha?! You expect us to go today?

Loid: And you want me to arrange this?

Franky: Well, of course! It's for your daughter!

Comms Engineer: We have a message from Twilight.

Comms Engineer: Code GO.

Female Member: He did it.

Female Member: "The sakura blossoms bloom."

Comms Engineer: Another message from Twilight.

Female Member: What is it?

Comms Engineer: How shall I reply?

Chief: He might just be the best spy in all of Westalis...

Female Member: Get him what he needs at once!

Comms Engineer: Yes, ma'am!

Comms Engineer: To Falcon in the Rhynnick region.

Comms Engineer: Emergency operation from Twilight.

Falcon: Falcon here. Roger the emergency operation from Twilight, over.

Loid: " hours... Meet downstream on the Nein River in the Rhynnick region."

Loid: They sure didn't waste any time.

Franky: Believe it or not, this castle can do this, too!

Anya: I'm gonna make a quiz!

Franky: Hey, great idea!

Franky: You seriously came through!

Anya: Anya's never been on a plane before! It's so exciting!

Franky: Nice, nice, nice!

Loid: There we go.

Anya: Does Anya look cool?

Loid: Yes, you do.

Yor: Loid! Where did you get this li'l plane?

Yor: It's amazing!

Loid: Oh, some wonderful coworkers of mine are letting me borrow it.

Yor: Fank you for always looking after my husband.

Loid: You all have your seatbelts on? Here we go.

Franky and Anya: Let's go!

Anya: I'm so excited!

Franky: Yahoo!

Yor: Oh, it's so pretty.

Yor: It looks like a tweasure chest.

Anya: Papa, you're amazing!

Franky: Look! There it is!

Franky: Holy crap!

Anya: The castle's so cool!

Loid: Hey, settle down!

Loid: We're about to land. Make sure you're properly seated.

Anya: We're in a castle!

Loid: You don't need to go running around with her!

Yor: This is wonderful.

Loid: What's the matter?

Anya: Something's not right.

Loid: What do you mean by that?

Anya: Can you truly call a castle with no enemies or servants

Anya: a castle?

Anya: I'm sad.

Anya: I don't think I can go to school now.

Franky: I know, right? I can't blame ya, little missy.

Franky: Daddy better step up his game.

Comms Engineer: We have a report from Twilight.

Comms Engineer: He's requesting agents.

Comms Engineer: As many as possible.

Female Member: This will be a true test for WISE.

Comms Engineer: To all agents in Ostania.

Comms Engineer: Report to Newston Castle for an emergency operation.

Comms Engineer: This is an extremely important assignment regarding Operation Strix.

Comms Engineer: Mission rank is over SS.

Comms Engineer: I repeat:  this is an extremely important assignment regarding Operation Strix.

Comms Engineer: Mission rank is over SS!

Agent : That's the real Twilight...

Agent : I gotta get his autograph later.

Franky: Look at your agency coming through for you.

Franky: Well, give them the rundown.

Franky: I'll explain the rest.

Loid: All right, fine.

Loid: Thank you very much for gathering here today on behalf of my daughter.

Agent : Morse code.

Agent : "Just listen quietly."

Agent : Orders from Twilight!

Loid: I would like for all of you to play the part of the enemies

This assignment is an imperative part of Operation Strix, and you do not to need to inquire further about it

Loid: of a spy who is coming to save a princess.

Agent : I have absolutely no idea what's going on...

Agent : But this is Twilight we're talking about. I'm sure this is all according to plan.

Sign: This man will explain the details. Follow his orders from now on

Loid: Thank you again for doing this for my daughter.

Franky: All right! Let's announce the cast!

Franky: Here's our star for today!

Franky: Princess Anya!

Anya: This is the spy person who's gonna save me!

Anya: Loidman!

Anya: And the big bad boss!

Franky: Scruffy!

Anya: Count Scruffy Head!

Anya: And Mama... um...

Anya: can be whatever.

Yor: Shock!

Franky: And now...

Franky: to the very capable subordinates of Count Scruffy Head!

Franky: I need you all to put on your best performances

Franky: and get in Loidman's way as much as possible!

Loid: Uh... wait...

Agent : This mission ranking is over SS.

Agent : I'll make any sacrifice necessary to see this mission through!

Agent : I couldn't ask for a better opponent than Twilight!

Agent : This day has finally come...

Franky: You can all decide for yourselves how you're going to get in Loidman's way.

Franky: I am not exaggerating when I say the success of this plan is in your hands!

Loid: Uh... Where is this going?

Franky: My loyal minions!

Franky: Make Loidman suffer as much as possible for Princess Anya's sake!

Franky: Once you're all prepared, get to your positions!

Agents: Roger!

Franky: Scruffy, scruffy, scruffy, scruff! Princess Anya is mine!

Franky: If you want her back, come after me!

Anya: Save me, Loidman.

Loid: Wait, it's already started?!

Anya: Hey!

Franky: Loidman! You are about to face many obstacles in order to get the princess back!

Franky: First up,

Franky: we have a quiz that the princess made up in this courtyard, so listen up!

Franky: If you can't answer correctly, you'll be putting that on!

Loid: This is...

Franky: You betcha! A Bondman costume set!

Anya: So exciting!

Franky: Okay, question time!

Franky: What does Princess Anya like about Bondman?!

Loid: Huh? His face?

Anya: Bzzz! The fact that he has a p*stol with a sil*ncer!

Loid: What? Really?!

Franky: Oh, come on! You're her dad and you don't even know that?

Loid: Next question!

Franky: What's Anya's favorite food?

Loid: Peanuts!

Anya: Ooh! Correct!

Franky: Tch. Guess that was too easy.

Franky: Here's the final question!

Franky: If you get it wrong, you'll be changing into that outfit, Loidman!

Loid: That's if I don't get it.

Franky: Here's your question, then.

Franky: What does Anya want right now?

Loid: What does she want right now?

Franky: Five! Four!

Loid: You didn't say anything about a time limit!

Franky: I never said there wouldn't be one, either.

Loid: Calm down. What does Anya want right now?

Loid: What does she want...

Loid: Bondman's spy gear!

Franky: What's the correct answer, Princess Anya?!

Anya: Right now...

Anya: I'm thirsty, so I'd like some water, please!

Franky: Looks like you're wrong, Loidman!

Loid: How the hell would I know that?!

Franky: Scruffy, scruffy, scruffy, scruff!

Franky: Too bad for you, Loidman!

Franky: Now, let's have you keep your word!

Anya: I'm so excited...

Anya: to see the real Loidman!

Anya: Loidman!

Franky: All right, then! On to the next stage!

Loid: Hey, wait!

Anya: Loidman!

Franky: If you want to save Princess Anya, you'll have to make your way up here!

Franky: Scruffy, scruffy, scruffy, scruff!

Agent : He's so cool!

Agent : He's just so amazing...

Anya: You're so cool, Loidman!

Franky: We're just getting started, scruff!

Anya: Oh, no. Save me.

Loid: God, this is pain.

Anya: Loidman! Up here, up here!

Anya: I'm right here!

Loid: There's no end to this.

Anya: This is so cool!

Franky: You've got this, my minions! Don't let him win!

Franky: Loid! Let them h*t you, damn it!

Franky: Now you've done it, you bastard!

Franky: Don't think you're gonna catch us that easily!

Franky: Buh-bye!

Anya: Save me, Loidman.

Anya: You're so amazing, Loidman!

Franky: Scruffy, scruffy, scruffy, scruff! I'm impressed you got this far, Loidman!

Franky: But I won't let you have the princess!

Anya: Save me, Loidman!

Loid: Are you seriously telling me I have to act out this embarrassing

Loid: little play in front of all of these agents?

Loid: But in the end... this is for the mission!

Loid: H... Hand over the princess.

Agents: Ooh!

Agent : I can't believe we get to see Twilight's acting skills in person!

Franky: You fool! You think I'd hand her over that easily?!

Franky: Now, go! The most powerful witch in the world, Yorticia!

Franky: Finish off that fool, scruff!

Loid: Now there's a witch?!

Loid: What the hell is going on in this story?

Loid: Huh?

Loid: Wai—no way. What?!

Yor: Anyone who tries to kidnap Miss Anya...

Yor: will not get away alive!

Loid: Y-Yor, please calm down.

Loid: Why is she using physical att*cks when she's a witch?

Loid: She's strong!

Loid: She's gonna k*ll me!

Loid: Yor... Are you all right?

Franky: Scruffy, scruffy, scruffy, scruff!

Franky: Excellent work getting this far, Loidman!

Franky: But you won't defeat me that easil—

Anya: So exciting!

Loid: I... I've come to save you, Princess Anya.

Anya: Papa!

Loid: Wait... I'm supposed to be your dad in this?

Anya: So sparkly!

Agent : Congratulations, Anya!

Franky: Anya...

Franky: Congratulations...

Loid: What is this?

Anya: I've had so much excitement ever since I left the orphanage!

Anya: It's all thanks to you, Papa!

Loid: Hm? Oh... I'm happy for you.

Anya: I'm gonna do my best in school!

Loid: That's good.

Loid: Well, anyway... congratulations on getting into the school.

Female member: Sir, the expense report from Agent Twilight.

Chief: Are these numbers real?

Female member: Yes, they are.

Chief: But...

Female member: They are correct.

Sign: Mission Report

Sign: Operation Strix

Sign: Phase :  School Admission achieved

Sign: THE FRIENDSHIP SCHEME
{"type": "series", "show": "Spy \u00d7 Family", "episode": "01x05 - Will They Pass or Fail"}