MUSIC IN:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

ZIVA: You sold your sperm?

TONY: Stop looking at me like that. I was a freshman in college.

ZIVA: There are little teenage DiNozzos running around somewhere? Oh, that's frightening.

TONY: I never thought about it 'till this morning. I got a registered letter from a sperm bank telling me to contact them as soon as possible.

ZIVA: Why?

TONY: I don't know.

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) We're moving, DiNozzo.

TONY: (INTO MIC) Coming out.

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRS - DAY

GIBBS: (INTO MIC) We're on our way down.

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Roger, Boss.

CUT TO:

INT. GARAGE - DAY

MCGEE: (INTO MIC) The car's ready.

GIBBS: (V.O.) Check the exit.

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) On it. (ON CAMERA) They're coming down!

GUARD: (V.O.) Yes, Sir!

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/ALL WALK TOWARD THE GARAGE)

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

RYAN: (V.O.) You're making a mistake.

PASSENGER: You made a mistake!(SFX: MEN ARGUE B.G.)

MCGEE: (INTO MIC) Boss, hold on one second.

CUT TO:

INT. GARAGE - NIGHT

GIBBS: (INTO MIC) What do you got, McGee?

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

MCGEE: (INTO MIC) I'm not sure.(SFX: MEN ARGUE B.G.)

CUT TO:

INT. GARAGE - NIGHT

GIBBS: (INTO MIC) Talk to me, McGee.

(SFX: g*n B.G.)

GIBBS: (SHOUTS) Go! Go! Go! Get him out of here! Through the front entrance! Go! Go! Go! Go!

(SFX: CAR TIRES SCREECH)

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/MCGEE TURNS OVER THE BODY)

(MUSIC OUT)

(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/ SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)

FADE IN:

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

"PROBIE"

DUCKY: You find a w*apon?

GIBBS: Nope.

DUCKY: We're done. Let's bag him and tag him, Mister Palmer.

JIMMY: Yes, Sir.

DUCKY: Do you think Mister Ryan was connected in any way to the death thr*at on the Chief of Naval Operations?

GIBBS: Gonna find out. It came from a human rights group protesting Marine abuse of prisoners at Gitmo.

DUCKY: It's ironic, isn't it? A human rights group thr*at to k*ll?

GIBBS: Yeah, it's no different than a right-to-lifer b*mb a family planning clinic, Duck.

DUCKY: Yes, we live in interesting times, Jethro.

GIBBS: You think, Duck?

TONY: Way to go, Probie! Three sh*ts, three hits. I guess my instruction on the range paid off, huh?

MCGEE: Tony, I k*lled somebody, okay?

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK sh**ting SCENES)

GIBBS: What about the CNO?

ZIVA: Secured at home.

TONY: Doubled his security detail.

MCGEE: Did you find his w*apon?

GIBBS: No.

MCGEE: It's got to be here. I identified myself as a Federal officer. He fired at me. I returned f*re. The SUV drove off. His w*apon has got to be here.

GIBBS: The SUV, McGee. Did you get the color? Number? Make?

MCGEE: Dark blue or black. Virginia plate. First two numbers eight nine. I don't know the model.

GIBBS: Ziva, get out a BOLO.

ZIVA: On just that? (b*at) Right. BOLO.

GIBBS: Hang on. Hey, I want to know everything about this guy. McGee, go back to where you fired from. DiNozzo! (LOUDLY) Show me, McGee!

MCGEE: Federal Officer! Drop your w*apon!

GIBBS: Got it?

TONY: Got it. (TO MCGEE) Don't worry, McGee. I'll find the slug.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

ABBY: This guy's a mess.

DUCKY: Yeah, you don't know the half of it. His lungs were completely blackened from what I would guess is a two-pack-a-day habit. His coronary arteries were almost completely blocked. And his liver shows definite sign of abuse.

ABBY: This little sluggy's in good shape.

DUCKY: I took that out of his thigh. Didn't impact any bone. It imbedded itself in the adductor longus.

ABBY: Ooh. This one's all banged up.

DUCKY: Yeah, left shoulder. It entered the deltopectoral triangle, smashed the fourth rib and ended up in the upper lobe of his left lung. Both of those were non-lethal. That one, however, caused massive damage. Abigail...

ABBY: Ducky.

DUCKY: You know, there was a time when you wouldn't set foot in Autopsy.

ABBY: Look how far I've come.

DUCKY: Regrettably for the moment. Look, back off.

ABBY: I think I'm ready for the next big step.

DUCKY: And what's that?

ABBY: Assisting in an autopsy.

JIMMY: Oh, yeah, right!

DUCKY: Actually, Mister Palmer, a medical degree is not required even to be a coroner. Abby has an exceptional analytical mind. She's a quick study. I think you'll do very well. Put it on. Your first lesson, lesson number one. The third b*llet removed what was left of the fourth rib, smashing the costal cartilage, took a piece out of the left atrium, and lodged itself against the costal surface of the scapula.

ABBY: It's amazing how much damage one b*llet can do.

DUCKY: Definitely the k*ll sh*t.

JIMMY: Um...

DUCKY: Something wrong? (b*at) I'm sorry, McGee. That wasn't meant for your ears.

MCGEE: Not a problem, Ducky. I was hoping when I woke up this morning it was all a nightmare.

ABBY: Somebody needs a hug.

MCGEE: I was trained for last night, but...

DUCKY: Well, sh**ting a human cutout is not quite the same, Timothy. No one is prepared for their first k*ll.

MCGEE: Abby, I'm going to need you to run his prints. The driver's license was phony.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

ZIVA: The only Andrew Aidan Ryan I could find is three years old and lives in Los Angeles. The address, if it existed, would be in the middle of the Potomac.

GIBBS: Run his prints.

ZIVA: Why didn't we think of that, Tony?

TONY: Abby's working on it. FBI's identified three radical groups protesting prisoner abuse at Gitmo, Boss.

GIBBS: Catch anything with the BOLO, Officer David?

ZIVA: We did. Six hundred thousand SUVs.

TONY: That are registered in Virginia.

GIBBS: Yeah, so?

TONY: So we're going to check them against radical groups.

(SFX: TONY WHISPERS TO ZIVA)

GIBBS: Is something bothering you, Tony?

TONY: Ah...

ZIVA: He doesn't want to say what we're all thinking.

TONY: Spit it out.

ZIVA: McGee says he was sh*t at, but we can't seem to find the slug, shell casing or a w*apon.(PHONE RINGS)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs.

SUMNER: (V.O./FILTERED) Sir, the Director would like to see you in her office.

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Be right up. (HANGS UP PHONE -TO ZIVA) McGee isn't your father and he isn't Ari. He doesn't know how to lie.

TONY: What'd he say?

ZIVA: Let's go back to work.

CUT TO:

INT. OUTER OFFICE - DAY

SUMNER: Go right in, Special Agent Gibbs.

CUT TO:

INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - DAY

SHEPARD: Shut the door, Jethro.

(DOOR CLOSES)

SHEPARD: I'm flashing back to Paris in ninety nine.

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE)

SHEPARD: Not what you're thinking.

GIBBS: No? Then what?

SHEPARD: I remember you covering for another agent.... Who messed up.

GIBBS: What agent was that?

SHEPARD: You know damn well what agent!

GIBBS: Oh, you mean the time you sh*t that guy.

SHEPARD: Did McGee blow it?

GIBBS: McGee is a probie. Probies make mistakes. Having said that, no, I don't think he did.

SHEPARD: Where's the g*n? The slug that was fired...

GIBBS: I don't know, but I will find out.

SHEPARD: The CNO's aide called me at seven a.m. this morning. Admiral Chapman wants to know what's going on. He asked me... what are you thinking about?

GIBBS: Paris.

SHEPARD: Get your mind out of the bedroom, Jethro. Let's get some answers.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

RECORDED VOICE: (V.O./FILTERED) Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line. We'll be with you in a moment.

ZIVA: You've been holding for fifteen minutes. It must be important.

TONY: Yep.

ZIVA: Sperm bank?

TONY: Yeah.

ZIVA: Why'd you do it? You didn't need the money.

TONY: It was easier than giving blood.

ZIVA: You enjoy making those deposits. (CHUCKLES) Was there a penalty for early withdrawal?

TONY: (CHUCKLES) You're a sick chick, David.

WOMAN: (V.O./FILTERED) Thank you for holding.

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Hi, there. I received a certified letter requesting I call. (b*at) Thanks Agent Vandalay. You are the man! I owe you one.

GIBBS: Doing anything useful, DiNozzo?

TONY: Of the six hundred and twenty one thousand eight hundred SUVs registered in Virginia, approximately a hundred and twenty seven thousand of them are dark-colored. Vanity plates aside, one in every hundred begins with the numbers eight nine. That's over twelve hundred vehicles.

ZIVA: We're running the registered owners against the names on the list of protesters. It's going to take a while.

GIBBS: What's wrong?

ABBY: I ran the fingerprint through AFIS. The victim's real name is John Benedict.

GIBBS: Has he got a record?

MCGEE: He was a Metro detective. He was working undercover. I k*lled a cop, Boss.

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. OUTER OFFICE - DAY

SUMNER: Can I get you two anything?

GIBBS: No, thanks.

(SFX: PHONE BEEP TONE)

SUMNER: (INTO PHONE) Yes, Ma'am. I'll send them in.

CUT TO:

INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - DAY

SHEPARD: Special Agent Gibbs and McGee, this is Metro Police Captain Dan Karzin and Sergeant Keith Archer, the d*ad officer's partner.

MCGEE: I'm sorry about--

KARZIN: Director Shepard already gave us the official NCIS condolences, Special Agent McGee. We're here to find out what happened.

SHEPARD: Please sit.

GIBBS: I'd like to ask Sergeant Archer some questions. Do you know why your partner was behind the hotel last night?

ARCHER: No. We were off duty.

GIBBS: When did you last see him?

ARCHER: Yesterday about noon.

KARZIN: They were working undercover Narcotics. Just got off a thirty six hour shift. I read your report. I've got some questions. You say you identified yourself?

MCGEE: Yes, Sir.

KARZIN: Loud enough to be heard?

MCGEE: Definitely.

KARZIN: And you contend that Lieutenant Benedict then turned and fired at you.

MCGEE: Yes, Sir.

KARZIN: So why can't you find a b*llet or a w*apon?

GIBBS: We can't answer that yet.

ARCHER: Yeah, I can. Bennie wasn't carrying one.

KARZIN: Are you sure it happened like that, son?

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENES)

MCGEE: It happened the way that I reported it, Captain.

KARZIN: Because I knew Lieutenant John Benedict maybe twenty years. He was a highly decorated officer. A great cop. And if Agent McGee had properly identified himself the way that he claims, there's no way that Bennie would have acted thr*at.

GIBBS: Evidently he did.

KARZIN: I don't believe it.

SHEPARD: Special Agent McGee, why don't you return to the squad room? We'll call you if we need you.

MCGEE: I'm really sorry.

(MCGEE WALKS O.S.)

KARZIN: With all due respect, Director Shepard, I think we all know what happened here. Nobody else saw another vehicle in the alley. A nervous rookie panicked. Fired prematurely. k*lled a veteran cop.

GIBBS: McGee's young, but he's a damn good agent. Are you sure your partner wasn't carrying a w*apon last night?

ARCHER: It would have blown his cover on the case that we were working.

GIBBS: You said he was off duty just like you are right now.

ARCHER: Yeah.

GIBBS: You're carrying.... in the small of your back. Your partner's liver said he drank a lot.

KARZIN: Oh, go to hell.

SHEPARD: Gentlemen...

KARZIN: I'm not going to stand for a cover-up.

SHEPARD: And neither am I, Captain! I shared our preliminary report and you'll have full access to our findings.

KARZIN: I'm going to conduct my own investigation.

SHEPARD: That is your prerogative.

KARZIN: And I want to interrogate McGee.

GIBBS: That's not going to happen!

SHEPARD: I'll handle this, Special Agent Gibbs.

GIBBS: McGee has made his statement. That's not going to change.

SHEPARD: Thank you for coming. You'll have NCIS's full cooperation.

KARZIN: Do I get to question Agent McGee?

SHEPARD: Yes. But not today.

(KARZIN AND ARCHER WALK O.S.)

(DOOR CLOSES)

SHEPARD: Before you jump down my throat, you think about what you would do if that cop sh*t McGee and McGee didn't have a w*apon!

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

ZIVA: DiNozzo, look at this. I've got a possible. Robert Gershon. Thirty two year old white male. Lives in Alexandria. Drives a two thousand three dark blue Ford Expedition. First two digits of license plate.... eight nine.

TONY: McGee, was the SUV as big as an Expedition?

MCGEE: Uh, maybe. I don't know. I'm not sure.

ZIVA: This guy belongs to a protest group called "CACA."

TONY: You're making that up.

ZIVA: "Citizens Against Criminal Abuse." He was arrested last May for defacing the main entrance of the Pentagon with horse manure.

TONY: Call me crazy, but a guy that belongs to a group called CACA, and smears horse pucky on a government building, doesn't make death thr*at.

GIBBS: DiNozzo! David! Get back in that alley. Find that damn b*llet! Do it now!

TONY: Boss, we spent hours. We covered every inch of where McGee was standing when he... we'll maybe find something in daylight.

ZIVA: We're working the protester angle.

GIBBS:

GIBBS: I don't think that cop being there had anything to do with the thr*at against that CNO. Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?!

(CONT.) First, Abby's lab nerd frames DiNozzo for m*rder, and then McGee kills a cop! Did somebody break a mirror?

MCGEE: Boss, can I go with Tony and Ziva? An extra set of eyes might help.

GIBBS: No! Metro P.D. is out to get you. You find the b*llet, it's compromised evidence. Hey, DiNozzo! While you're there, see if anyone saw Benedict in the area last night.

TONY: (V.O.) Got it.

MCGEE: What should I do?

GIBBS: Find that SUV.

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

ZIVA: This is a waste of time.

TONY: Gibbs says search the alley again. We search the alley again.

ZIVA: You never question anything he tells you to do, huh?

TONY: Nope.

ZIVA: We can't find anything because there's nothing to be found.

TONY: You don't believe McGee was sh*t at?

ZIVA: Tony, McGee stumbled across something, misread it, and overreacted.

TONY: Not McGee. His brain's like a computer. It's scary. I'm sure procedures and regs warp-sped through his processor before he pulled the trigger.

ZIVA: It happens so fast, you don't have time to think.

TONY: We're talking about a guy who has protocols and checklists for brushing and flossing.

ZIVA: I'll start flashing Benedict's photo on the street.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

MCGEE: Hey.

ABBY: How are you doing?

MCGEE: Okay. What's this music?

ABBY: I'm almost done here.

MCGEE: Tox screen?

ABBY: Yeah. It's Benedict's. Ducky said his liver showed signs of cirrhosis, but he was clean and sober last night.

MCGEE: Is that why you called me down here?

ABBY: Nope. Come with me, McGee.

MCGEE: Where are we going?

ABBY: Your therapy session.

(DOOR OPENS)

MCGEE: What? What is that smell?

ABBY: Aromatherapy. You're stressed. Anxious. Thirty minutes in here, and you'll be back to your old self. Probably even better. Now sit.

MCGEE: I don't believe in New Age panaceas, Abby. What are these things?

ABBY: Frankincense, lavender, and neroli oil.

MCGEE: What the hell's neroli oil? (READS) "Used for the treatment of depression, nervous tension, flatulence, and irritable bowel syndrome."

ABBY: Are you denying that more than one of those apply to you?

MCGEE: You know what? I think I'm going to pass.

(SFX: ABBY HANDCUFFS MCGEE TO THE CHAIR)

MCGEE: Where did you get these?

ABBY: Never leave home without them.

MCGEE: Hey Abby, I have to get back to work.

ABBY: And you will as soon as you clear your mind. You'll see things from a new perspective. Just relax, enjoy, and inhale.

(DOOR CLOSES)

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT

(SFX: GIBBS LAUGHS)

GIBBS: Huh. Oh...

(GIBBS WALKS TO THE ELEVATOR)

(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

GIBBS: Are you still here?

SHEPARD: No. I'm the Director's doppelganger.

GIBBS: I never did know what that meant.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED AS A JENNY ENTERS THE ELEVATOR)

(DOOR SLIDES OPEN)

GIBBS: Good night.

JENNY: Good night.(F/X: JENNY EXITS THE ELEVATOR)

GIBBS: So a doppelganger is someone who is pissed?

SHEPARD: Yes, Agent Gibbs. This one definitely is.

GIBBS: Why?

SHEPARD: Why? Because you countermanded me in front of Metro Police.

GIBBS: I didn't countermand you. You overruled me.

SHEPARD: Oh, semantics.

GIBBS: Is that like doppelganger?

SHEPARD: (V.O.) Get a dictionary.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED)

CUT TO:

INT. MCGEE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

(TYPING FX)

(SFX: KNOCKING ON DOOR B.G.)

TONY: (IN VIEWFINDER) Ah ha! Open up, McGee!

(DOOR OPENS)

MCGEE: Tony, I'm really not in the mood.

TONY: Let me in.

(DOOR CLOSES)

MCGEE: Okay, you're in. What do you want?

TONY: We're going out.

MCGEE: Where?

TONY: When the going gets tough, the tough go clubbing. We have got to get you dressed.

MCGEE: Tony, I really want to be alone tonight, okay?

TONY: No, you don't. Still working on the novel, I see, huh?

MCGEE: DiNozzo, I'm begging you. Do not rag on me tonight, okay?

TONY: Well, I wouldn't be DiNozzo if I didn't. The wardrobe.

(SFX: DOORS OPEN)

TONY: You got any party clothes, McGee?

MCGEE: Tony!

TONY: Baby, you are not going to be scoring in any of this stuff.

MCGEE: (SHOUTS) Hey, would you stop! I'm not going anywhere!

TONY: Hey listen, man, I'm sorry. I just wanted to...

MCGEE: I know. I know. I know you're just trying to help. Tony, I'm not like you guys. You were trained as a cop. Gibbs was a Marine sn*per. Kate protected the President of the United States. God only knows what Ziva did for Mossad. My background is biomedical engineering and computer forensics. I don't think I'm cut out to be a field agent.

TONY: The first time I sh*t at someone.... I wet my pants.

MCGEE: Really?

TONY: Really. If you tell anyone that I will slap you silly. Ooh, do you have anything to eat? I know it's bad. I've been where you are. But a week from now this will all be behind you. Just a bad memory.

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE OF sh**ting)

(MUSIC OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: What time did you get up, Ziva?

ZIVA: Zero four hundred. Background check on the cop McGee k*lled didn't come up with anything. He drank a little too much, had three ex-wives.

GIBBS: Yeah well, that does not make him a bad person.

ZIVA: His police service record is clean. Several accommodations for meritorious service and a Mayoral award. Nothing negative.

GIBBS: Metro's going to make it look like our Probie k*lled their hero.

ZIVA: They're going to interrogate McGee this afternoon. Request was approved by the Director.

GIBBS: And you know this how?

ZIVA: I'm a spy, remember?

CUT TO:

INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - DAY

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

GIBBS: When were you going to tell me?

SHEPARD: I see we're picking up where we left off, Jethro.

GIBBS: If you're sending McGee to Metro, you're damn right, we are!

SHEPARD: Didn't know I had to ask your permission. Don't give me the stare. I'm not a junior agent.

GIBBS: No, you're a junior Director!

SHEPARD: That's enough, Special Agent Gibbs!

SUMNER: (OVER INTERCOM) Excuse me, Director. They're waiting for you in MTAC.

SHEPARD: (INTO INTERCOM) I'm on my way, Cynthia.

GIBBS: You have to learn how to say "no"!

SHEPARD: I did, Jethro. Or have you forgotten?

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

ABBY: McGee, what are you doing here so early?

MCGEE: I had an epiphany. A different way of tracking the SUV.

ABBY: A-ha! So the aromatherapy worked. Cleared your mind so you could come up with new ideas.

MCGEE: I don't know about that.

ABBY: I do. Did you get any sleep last night?

MCGEE: Not much. DiNozzo kept me up 'till three.

ABBY: Our DiNozzo?

MCGEE: He came by my apartment to... cheer me up.

ABBY: Really?

MCGEE: Yeah, I know. DiNozzo being nice to me means I'm really in trouble.

ABBY: I think it's sweet. So what was your light bulb?

MCGEE: Well, are you familiar with the Ajzen/Fishbein Theory of Reasoned Action?

ABBY: Of course.

MCGEE: If Lieutenant Benedict was having an argument with the man in the SUV, the theory hypothesizes there's a high probability they had prior contact.

ABBY: So you're matching SUV owners to people Benedict knew?

MCGEE: Exactly.

ABBY: Using what as a database?

MCGEE: I wrote this program to cross-check registered owners with telephone calls and e-mails sent or received by Benedict over the last three months.

ABBY: Timothy, that's brilliant.

MCGEE: I thought so... but I didn't get any hits. The problem is, I've only got his home and cell numbers. I was denied access to Benedict's extension at Metro.

ABBY: If you had the maintenance codes for the telephone servers at the police department, do you think that would help?

MCGEE: Yes.

ABBY: While you're getting me a CAFF-POW... I'll make a phone call.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Is there any way of finding out why she wants to talk to me? (FILTERED VOICE B.G.)

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) Not without asking her. Are you a personal friend of hers?

TONY: (INTO PHONE) I was a donor.

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) I'm sorry....

TONY: (INTO PHONE) I'm a donor!

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) Oh, a donor. Right. What was your last name again?

TONY: (INTO PHONE) DiNozzo.

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) Can you spell that for me, please?

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Big D, little I, big N, little ozzo.

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) And your first name?

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Anthony.

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) Would you hold a moment?

TONY: (TO ZIVA) Playing phone-tag with the sperm bank.

ZIVA: You haven't found out what it's about yet?

TONY: Well, they're probably running low on their favorite fossil fuel "Essence of DiNozzo."

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) Hello Sir?

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, I'm here.

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) She's in a meeting at the moment.

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Uh-huh.

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) Out of the office.

TONY: (INTO PHONE) When will she be back?

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) Tomorrow.

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Thank you.

RECEPTIONIST: (V.O./FILTERED) You're welcome.

ZIVA: Problem?

TONY: The woman who's been trying to contact me isn't there. Her title is Director of Critical Issues. What do you think that means?

ZIVA: I don't know, but it sounds serious.

TONY: Yeah, it could be one of my offspring has a medical condition. Maybe they need an organ transplant.

ZIVA: (LAUGHS) You.... you who won't share a Krispy Kreme Donut. You are going to give up a kidney?

(ZIVA LAUGHS)

TONY: You wouldn't understand. You're not a parent.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

(MUSIC OVER ACTION)

ABBY: Ha ha. That's so cute. I didn't know you were superstitious.

MCGEE: I'm not. We've got a h*t.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

ZIVA: Edward Francis Halligan. Owns a black two thousand five Range Rover. License plate eight nine six seven Y-Z-E.

MCGEE: He received a call from Benedict's Metro office extension two weeks ago.

ABBY: You want to know how McGee figured it out?

GIBBS: Nope.

ZIVA: Halligan's an Irish National. He's been living here for the past three years. I'll run him by my Interpol contacts.

GIBBS: Find him, Tony, and bring him in here.

TONY: On it.

CUT TO:

INT. VAN - PARKED

GIBBS: (V.O.) So. Are you gonna bust them, Archer?

ARCHER: It'd blow my cover. Why don't you?

GIBBS: They don't look Navy. Who are you staking out?

ARCHER: It's a second tier pusher released from Elkton this morning. Right now he's in that hotel reacquainting himself with his old lady. Historically, the pusher's second stop is to look for employment. So I'm hoping he'll lead me to the local distributor.

GIBBS: I'm surprised you agreed to meet.

ARCHER: Just want to find out the truth. I'd appreciate it if Captain Karzin didn't find out we were talking.

GIBBS: He's not going to hear anything from me. Do you know this guy?

ARCHER: Never met him, but I'd love to get my hands on him. It's Ed Halligan. He's a rich Irishman rumored to be the money behind a local crack ring.

GIBBS: He drives a black SUV.

ARCHER: He collects expensive cars. He has dozens of them.

GIBBS: Why'd Benedict call him two weeks ago?

ARCHER: We set up a trap for Halligan but he never showed. Bennie suspected he was tipped. What are you getting at, Gibbs?

GIBBS: We think that Halligan was the guy your partner was talking to in the alley.

ARCHER: If he was, he had a legitimate reason.

GIBBS: Wouldn't he have told you?

ARCHER: Look, I'm.... I was the junior partner on the team. We hadn't been together that long so he didn't share everything with me. If you think that he was a dirty cop, forget it. Bennie was as straight up as they come.

GIBBS: You just said you hadn't been together very long.

ARCHER: How long does it take to know if your partner's dirty?

GIBBS: Is that your dirt bag?

ARCHER: Yeah, I gotta get to work.

GIBBS: Okay.

(CAR DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

ZIVA: Anxious?

MCGEE: Does it show?

ZIVA: May I give you some advice?

MCGEE: Please.

ZIVA: Be confident when Metro interrogates you. If you don't believe what you're saying, how can they?

MCGEE: Every time I think about it, it comes out a little different.

ZIVA: For God's sakes, don't tell that to Metro.

TONY: Where's the boss?

ZIVA: Where's Halligan?

TONY: Ah, not at home. I went to his house. It's really more like an estate. It's all marble and stone. Monolithic thing with Greco-Roman statues. Impressionist art. And flowers everywhere. In the front hall there were these two flowers like swans that were kissing.

MCGEE: What about the Range Rover?

TONY: Oh, that wasn't in the garage, but that thing was loaded. Lamborghini's, Ferraris, nineteen sixty five Aston Martin, the Goldfinger...

MCGEE: Tony!

TONY: Sorry. Sorry. Reminded me of when I was a kid in the Hamptons.

MCGEE: So you have no idea where he went?

TONY: Well, he told Shamus, that's his houseboy, he was going away for a few days. I'm telling you, if I had a master bedroom like that... mirrors on the ceiling...

ZIVA: My contact at Interpol said Halligan's been under investigation in Ireland, Britain, and France. Several indictments. All drug related, but none ever .... Ooh, (IN HEBREW) Le-aza-zel.

TONY: Whatever that is doesn't sound good.

ZIVA: Halligan's on the goat. Oh, no! Not goat. Sheep?

MCGEE: Lam?

ZIVA: That's it.

TONY: He's on the lam. There's no "B" in that, by the way.

ZIVA: Thank you. He bought a ticket at Dulles yesterday afternoon.

TONY: To Ireland?

ZIVA: Rabat, Moroc. Via Lisbon. No extradition.

MCGEE: Benedict was arresting him. I k*lled a cop arresting a drug lord.

(MCGEE WALKS O.S.)

ZIVA: His goose is cooked.

TONY: You would get that one right.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

KARZIN: Bennie didn't point a w*apon at you, did he?

(INTERCUT FLASHBACK ALLEY SCENE)

MCGEE: No.

(MUSIC OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. OUTER OFFICE - DAY

GIBBS: Is the Director in?

SUMNER: Expecting you.

CUT TO:

INT. SHEPARD'S OFFICE - DAY

(DOOR OPENS)

SHEPARD: Close the door, please.

GIBBS: No, you don't want that door closed, Director.

SHEPARD: I don't?

GIBBS: No!

(DOOR CLOSES)

SHEPARD: Let her rip.

GIBBS: The U.S. Attorney's office is charging McGee with negligent homicide. Metro is booking him right now. Do you know why?

SHEPARD: Because he admitted to making a tragic mistake.

GIBBS: No, because you may know how to kiss ass, but you sure don't know how to protect it.

SHEPARD: And you think you're protecting that boy by ignoring the facts?

GIBBS: He's not a boy! He's a NCIS Special Agent. He's one of my people. I don't leave my people behind. It's a Marine thing.

SHEPARD: What are you going to do?

GIBBS: I'm going to go to Metro and get him.

SHEPARD: No.

GIBBS: No?

SHEPARD: Your eyesight's weak, not your hearing.

(DOOR OPENS)

SHEPARD: You're not going to Metro because McGee's on his way here. I convinced Captain Karzin that he wasn't a flight risk and to release him into our custody until his arraignment hearing.

(DOOR CLOSES)

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

ZIVA: You should have gone with him.

TONY: Why me? He's your bud.

ZIVA: Bud?

TONY: Bud. Buddy. Friend.

ZIVA: You're not McGee's friend?

TONY: Of course I'm his friend.

ZIVA: English is a very confusing language. If you're his.... oh.... (IN HEBREW) Le-aza-zel!

TONY: There's that word, again.

ZIVA: Huh! Interpol missed Halligan in Portugal. He cleared Moroc Customs an hour ago.

(MCGEE WALKS INTO THE SQUAD ROOM)

GIBBS: I let you down.

MCGEE: Boss, I think it's the other way around.

GIBBS: I should have gone with you to Metro.

MCGEE: I don't think it would have made a difference. I panicked. I thought he had a w*apon in his hand. I need to face it. I sh*t a good cop making an arrest.

GIBBS: What cop makes a drug bust without a w*apon?

ABBY: None! Rule Number Eight is going to save you, McGee!

TONY: Never date a co-worker?

ZIVA: Never go anywhere without your Kn*fe.

TONY: I thought that was nine.

GIBBS: Never take anything for granted.

ABBY: Correcto, Jefe. But then again, you did make up the rules so...

GIBBS: Get to the point, Abs.

ABBY: I didn't do forensics on the jacket because we knew what happened. Then I remembered Rule Numero Ocho.

GIBBS: g*n residue.

ABBY: Based on the density and the pattern of the stippling and the sooting, one of the slugs in Lieutenant Benedict was fired from only one foot away.

MCGEE: One of my sh*ts missed?

TONY: I knew you weren't that good, Probie. Three for three at twenty five meters? I don't think so.

GIBBS: Halligan sh*t him from behind the wheel.

TONY: Wrong, Boss!

GIBBS: Slap him, Ziva.

(SFX: SLAP)

TONY: If Halligan was behind the wheel then he was five or six feet away. I pulled the registration from the Range Rover. It was brought into DMV for an inspection because it was imported from Ireland. Right hand drive. British like Ducky's Morgan. Steering wheel's on the right hand side.

MCGEE: The person I saw arguing with Benedict was a passenger.

GIBBS: There was a third man.

TONY: That's a great movie. Joseph Cotton. Orson Welles.

GIBBS: We're looking in the wrong direction. If McGee's third round didn't h*t the SUV, then it's somewhere at the other end of that alley. Go! Abby, thank you.

MCGEE: Boss, he still didn't f*re at me.

GIBBS: You saw a flash, McGee. You heard a g*n. You had no way of knowing if Benedict was f*ring at you or not. If I was in your position, McGee, I'd have fired. Go on! Run Halligan's phone records. See if you can't figure out who he was meeting with.

MCGEE: Right.

GIBBS: Could be your two rounds weren't the fatal one.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - DAY

TONY: If you ever Gibbs-slap me again, David, and I will slap you back harder!

ZIVA: I was following orders.

TONY: The dutiful Mossad agent. You miss the spy game? It must have been exciting.

ZIVA: You've seen too many James Bond movies. It's not all about car chases and sex.

TONY: It wasn't?

ZIVA: Well, there was a lot of sex.

(SFX: TELEPHONE BEEP TONES)

TONY: Ha! Ooh. Six one four. Ohio. Sperm bank. (INTO PHONE) Yeah, this is Agent DiNozzo. Yeah. Yeah, I know. There's got to be some kind of mistake because.... yeah, that's me. But, I mean... No. Thank you.(SFX: FILTERED VOICE B.G.)

ZIVA: Do you want to discuss it?

TONY: Ah, it's nothing.

ZIVA: For two days you've obsessed on that letter, driving me crazy! Now all of a sudden it's nothing?

TONY: Drop it.

ZIVA: I understand. I'd be embarrassed, too. (b*at) I shouldn't have done it, but your phone kept on ringing this morning and I knew this call was important. So I answered it!

TONY: You talked... you talked?

ZIVA: To the woman at the sperm bank, the Director of Critical Issues. Yes! I'm sorry, Tony.

TONY: Ha! She had no right to tell you that no one wants my sperm!

ZIVA: Ah, yes! (LAUGHS)

TONY: You didn't talk to her.

ZIVA: So no little DiNozzos anywhere. It's hard to believe that a stud like you would not be chosen. Were any of the prospective women shown a photo of you? Cause...

TONY: You're enjoying this a lot, aren't you?

ZIVA: Oh, yes. Are they going to return your sperm?

TONY: Let's focus on finding the b*llet.

ZIVA: Don't have to.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: The striations in the b*ll*ts are exact. It was definitely fired from McGee's Sig.

GIBBS: Where did you two find the b*llet?

TONY: Miss Abby Sciuto.

ZIVA: Right here, Boss. Behind the body embedded in the door frame.

TONY: McGee was wide to the left.

GIBBS: Where the hell is Benedict's w*apon? Yeah?

ABBY: I have a theory.

GIBBS: Okay.

ABBY: McGee identified himself. The man in the car fires point blank at Benedict. Now like you said, it was too close and it was dark. So McGee couldn't distinguish where the flash came from and McGee fires back. One missed. And when Benedict fell, he dropped his w*apon through the open window of the Range Rover. What do you think?

MCGEE: What's going on?

TONY: We're saving your butt, McGee.

GIBBS: Hey, come on. What do you got?

MCGEE: A dump of Halligan's phone records. The morning of the sh**ting, he placed several calls to Sergeant Archer's home and cell phones.

ZIVA: You mean Benedict's?

MCGEE: No, Archer's. His partner.

GIBBS: The call from Metro two weeks ago came from Archer, not Benedict.

TONY: Partners share extensions at the precinct.

GIBBS: I showed Archer a picture of Halligan yesterday. He acted like they'd never met.

MCGEE: Well, one of the phone calls lasted eighteen minutes.

GIBBS: Come on, McGee. You're with me. McGee, come here. Use my back up.

MCGEE: Archer's got to know that Halligan's in Morocco. He's never going to talk.

GIBBS: Is Halligan in Morocco?

MCGEE: Ziva said he passed through customs.

GIBBS: Well, maybe Archer doesn't know that. Pull an old warrant.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

(SFX: CAR BRAKES TO A STOP)

(CAR DOORS OPEN/ CLOSE)

ARCHER: What's up?

GIBBS: Got a few questions.

ARCHER: He's supposed to be in custody.

GIBBS: He's in my custody. You never told me you spoke with Halligan.

ARCHER: Never did.

MCGEE: Phone records show you exchanged several calls.

ARCHER: Look, I don't care what your phone records say. I never talked to Halligan. You can ask him.

MCGEE: One of the calls was two weeks ago, about the time you claim you set the trap for Halligan.

ARCHER: You know what? I don't need this from the guy who k*lled my partner.

GIBBS: McGee sh*t him after someone inside the car fired first. Your partner suspected you were working with Halligan. He followed you to a meet in the alley.

ARCHER: You guys aren't laying this off on me.

GIBBS: We pulled a nine millimeter slug out of Benedict's chest. I want to run that against your service w*apon. We're gonna search the premises.

ARCHER: I'm not talking to Navy wannabee cops.

GIBBS: Interpol picked Halligan up in Lisbon. He never made it to Morocco. We'll get him back here and he'll talk. Halligan's not going to take the fall for you.

(MUSIC OVER ACTION)

(SFX: g*n)

GIBBS: Don't ever hesitate because you second-guessed yourself again. I'll take your badge. Are we clear?

MCGEE: Clear.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED)

ABBY: I thought you would be out celebrating.

MCGEE: No.

ABBY: Did you come down for a hug?

MCGEE: What'd you find out?

ABBY: I ran every test I could think of. The slugs are too damaged. There's no way to tell who fired the k*ll sh*t. Does it really matter?

MCGEE: Yeah. It matters.

(MUSIC OUT)

(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)

(FADE OUT)

(MUSIC UP OVER ENDING CREDITS AND OUT)
{"type": "series", "show": "NCIS", "episode": "03x10 - Probie"}