Previously on "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"...  

Jake: For Captain Holt and Amy's last day,  

I've been granted permission  

to throw a final

non-holiday-associated heist.  

The heist is actually going to be...  

the perfect goodbye.  

Amy: What does that mean?  

Jake; That I'm leaving the Nine-Nine.  

It's a trip through memorable moments   

from the last eight years.   

Drama, glamor,   

shocking twists and turns.   

The perfect goodbye

is so close, I can taste it.   

Boyle: Jake!

Jake: What's up? You okay?   

Boyle: Are you quitting the Nine-Nine?   

Jake: What?

Boyle: I found this letter   

of resignation in your locker.   

Jake: Charles, I can explain.

Boyle: Don't bother.   

Jake: Wait, no, wait. Charles, wait a second.   

Bill: Seems like someone's in the

market for a new best friend.   

Jake: Bill, I swear to God.   

[upbeat music]   

♪   

Jake: Amy, Amy, we've got a problem.   

Charles found out I was leaving somehow   

and he got so upset that he ran away.   

I don't know where he went and

he's not answering his phone.   

Amy: Don't you have a tracker implanted   

- in his brain or something?

Jake: Amy, I would never do that.   

It's a serious medical procedure.   

Which is why I had a doctor

do it eight years ago   

when they were operating on the

b*llet wounds in Charles' butt.   

Amy: Smart, stick it in his butt holes.   

Jake: Oh, I was expecting

more judgment from you.   

And definitely a different phrasing.   

Anyways, I think that

the magnet suit must've   

fried the tracker so we gotta figure out   

a different way to find him.   

Amy: Well, don't ask me,

he's your best friend!   

Jake: Yes, he is my best friend!   

I know exactly where he is. Here.   

Guard this with your life.

I'll be right back.   

Terry: Sir, I've made a terrible mistake.   

I am sorry about your pictures   

and your award and your computer...   

Deputy chief Williams: And yelling that I was wearing a wig   

and then trying to tear out

my actual hair?   

Terry; No, that was a compliment!   

It's so thick and full   

- for a man of your age.

Williams: What?   

Holt; Let me handle this. The truth is,   

Lieutenant Jeffords acted

like an irresponsible,   

- insane madman.

Terry: What?   

Williams: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.   

Holt: But looking at this incident   

from a different angle,   

it shows why he'll make a great captain.   

He's here before you   

owning his mistake.   

When I started at the Nine-Nine,   

I felt I had to be seen as infallible.   

But he taught me   

the importance of being seen as human.   

He made me a better leader.   

And you would be a fool

not to make him a captain.   

Terry: Terry's touched.   

Williams: Yes, powerful words.   

As are these:   

- happy heisting, suckas!

- BOTH: What?   

Williams: Oh, you were right, this was a wig.   

Ow.   

BOTH: No!   

Rosa: Hey, can I talk to you?

I have a question.   

Amy: Is it will I ever forgive you

for betraying me   

and abandoning me in a car?   

Rosa: No, I have no questions

about that interaction.   

It was funny and I'm pleased

with how it played out.   

This isn't about the heist.   

What did you think about, um,   

me and Pimento as a couple?   

Amy: Oh, uh, I don't know.   

You guys always made me

a little uncomfortable.   

There weren't a lot of boundaries.   

Rosa: Is this about that time

we smashed in your car?   

Amy: You did? Which car?   

Rosa: All of them.

And once in your dad's Miata.   

My point is, when Adrian and I broke up,   

something felt off.   

I think it's 'cause I wasn't out yet   

so I couldn't really

be myself with anyone.   

But I don't know, I always thought   

we would end up together.   

And now he's going away and...   

- ugh, this is stupid.

Amy: It's not stupid.   

You gotta tell him how you feel.   

Rosa: He's already at the airport   

and he doesn't own a phone.   

- I'll never make it in time.

Gina: Yes, you will!    

Another surprise reveal.    

Amy; I mean, we knew you were around.    

Rosa: I watched you enter.    

Gina; Nope, you were both shocked.    

Come on, I'll give you a ride

to the airport.    

Rosa: I mean, that's nice but traffic.    

Gina: Oh, sweet Rosa.    

There's no such thing as traffic    

when you're driving in an armored truck.    

Rosa: Okay, let's do this.    

Gina: I already have my keys.    

Ooh, yet another surprise reveal.    

♪    

Jake: Hey, bud.    

Boyle: How'd you know where I was?    

Jake;,Because this is where you had to be    

because this is where it happened.    

Jake: Hey.

Boyle: Hey.    

Jake: Sorry to drag you in on the weekend.    

Boyle: Oh, it's fine, I don't mind    

spending a few hours

with my best friend.    

I shouldn't have said that.    

- It was too soon.

Jake; No.    

Charles,    

you're my best friend too.    

Hey, guys.    

- I found another leg!

Jake: Oh, how gross!    

I forgot that we wore

those fashion scarves    

for like a month that year.    

Boyle: I still think they worked.

Jake: No.    

Boyle: Oh, Jake, I can't

believe you're leaving.    

I mean, it's not

the Nine-Nine without you.    

Jake: I know, but Rosa's already gone    

and Holt and Amy are moving on too.    

Boyle; Is that why you're doing this?    

To fit in with that crowd?    

Jake; Charles, I just want

to be there for Mac.    

Boyle: I get that, but this whole thing    

is just taking me by surprise.    

I don't know if I can come in to work    

- and do this job without you.

Jake: Are you kidding me?    

I mean, maybe the you of nine

years ago couldn't handle it,    

but you're not that person anymore.    

You used to live in your

ex-wife's husband's basement    

and date  75 -year-olds and now    

you've got your own house

and Genevieve and Nikolaj.    

Boyle: Nikolaj.

Jake: Nikolaj.    

Boyle: Nikolaj.

Jake: Nikolaj.    

Boyle: Nikolaj.

Jake: Why don't you    

- just call him Nick?

Boyle: Nik.    

Jake: All right, now you're

ruining the moment.    

Boyle: Copy that.

Jake:  Look,    

whether we work together

or not, we're always gonna be    

- best friends and partners.

Boyle: Right.    

- Life partners.

Jake: Best friends.    

And the only reason

I didn't tell you sooner    

is because I wanted it to be a surprise    

that the whole heist's actually a setup    

so that I can throw the perfect goodbye.    

Boyle: I love that!    

Jake: The plan was lure everyone

to the Brooklyn Bridge    

and give you all gifts.    

- So, here's yours.

Boyle: Oh!    

Jake: The dummy tubes just unscrew.    

Boyle: Okay.    

The most recent issue of

"Fancy Brudgom" magazine?    

Jake: You know how you always

wanted them to do    

a Fancy Bedste Venner feature on us?    

Boyle: Yeah, but that's just

for the fanciest best friends.    

Jake: Turn to page 63  .

Boyle: Oh, my God, you didn't.    

You did! We're Fancy Bedste Venners!    

Jake: We're Fancy Bedste Venners!    

BOTH: We're Fancy Bedste Venners!    

Jake; Hey, great news,

the perfect goodbye is back on    

and we have a new teammate.    

Amy: Really? What even is "our team?"    

Because I know you gave me a dummy tube.    

Jake: Ah, and did you find

what was inside of it?    

Amy; Yeah, an egg.

Jake; And do you know    

- why I gave you an egg?

Amy: Cause eggs suck    

and you're still mad about that one time    

- I b*at you at Mario Kart?

Jake: It was beginner's luck!    

Just... open it.    

Amy: A necklace with a little binder on it?    

Jake: It has three tiny tabs.    

One for me, one for you,

and one for Mac.    

Amy: Aw!    

It really bothers me

that they're not alphabetical    

but I assume that it's functional    

- and I can correct them?

Jake; It is and you can.    

Amy: Then I love it

and I'll treasure it forever.    

Now tell me where

the real tube is, you bastard!    

Jake: I'm sorry, Ames, but I can't do that.    

You've done your part.

Now, it's time to sit back    

- and enjoy the rest of the show.

Amy; You're cutting me out?    

This is about you wanting

fireworks, isn't it?    

Jake: Oh, Amy, it's about

so much more than that.    

It's one million percent    

- just about the fireworks.

Boyle: Those look very dangerous.    

Jake: No, it'll be fine.    

We're not gonna be anywhere

near when it goes off.    

You control the whole thing

from your phone.    

Boyle; How do you know when it's armed?

Jake: The red light starts blinking.    

Boyle: Like that one?

Jake: Uh-oh, uh, uh...    

you know what?

This is okay, this is okay.    

I can just turn it off using the app.    

"Set up your profile first?" Why?    

How many times am I gonna

use a fireworks app?    

Boyle: It started counting down!

Jake: Name, email.    

"Select the squares

with stop signs in them?"    

Boyle; Okay, Jake, we gotta go!    

Jake: Is a stop light a stop sign?    

Charles, is a stop light a stop sign?    

Boyle: I don't know,

they both require full stops!    

- Jake, come on!

Jake:  All right, I'm in.    

No, "username already taken?"    

Who would want to use "Jake?"    

[countdown beeping]    

Jake: Oh, no.    

Amy: Oh, my God.    

You're awake.    

I can't believe it,

you're actually awake.    

Jake: Hey.    

Wait a minute.    

What's going on?

I gotta get back to the heist.    

Amy: No, the heist?    

Jake, you've been in a coma    

for seven years.    

[dramatic music]    

Jake: What?

- [beep]    

Jake: What do you mean I've been in a coma?    

Dr Midj: A firework h*t you in the head.    

It caused a destabilizing brain injury.    

Jake: Oh, my God.    

- Is Charles okay?

Amy: Yes.    

He survived the expl*si*n,    

but he blamed himself

for what happened to you    

so he left New York.    

He's actually the sheriff

of a small town in Arizona.    

The town is so small he also

has to be the school principal.    

Jake: Okay, that's weird.    

Amy; It's actually very funny.    

And surprisingly heartwarming.    

Jake: Wait, no. No, no, no.    

This... this isn't really happening.    

I'm dreaming.    

And because this is a dream,

I'm in control.    

You know who's gonna walk

through that door right now?    

Bruce Willis.    

Teddy: Jake, you woke up!

Jake: No! Teddy?    

Amy, why is your ex-boyfriend here?    

Teddy: Oh, you haven't told him yet, babe?    

Amy: Uh.

Jake: Babe?    

He called you babe. What's going on?    

And: I'm sorry, I know this is a lot.    

Jake:  No.

Amy: But the last seven years    

have been really hard.

Raising Mac on my own,    

never knowing if you would wake up,    

and Teddy was a great friend to me.    

And a couple years ago,    

- we went on a trip.

Teddy: It's not her fault.    

We were both seduced

by the city of Tampa.    

Jake: I can't believe this.

You replaced me with Teddy?    

Teddy: I could never replace you, Jake.    

I just wanted Mac to have

a father figure in his life.    

I come over and we watch sports.    

We are obsessed with college swimming.    

Jake: Hey, doc, can you put me

back in the coma?    

Dr Midj: You're agitated, that's normal.    

Tell me how you're feeling. Pain?    

Jake: I mean, just the pain of learning    

that my wife is married to another man.    

Teddy: Oh, we're not married.    

I'm just here for Amy physically.    

Jake: That's worse!    

Dr Midj: Okay, let's do some cognitive tests.    

How good is your memory

from before the accident?    

- Do you remember the fireworks?

Jake: Yeah, I remember everything.    

I remember the whole heist,    

going to find Charles, the magnet suits.    

Amy: Do you remember where you hid the tube?    

Jake: Yeah, inside the fake baby.    

Amy: Thanks, babe.    

Jake : Oh, no. It's not the future, is it?    

Amy: No, it's only been about 40 minutes  

And this isn't a real hospital.    

Jake: You Mission: Impossibled me!    

Oh, I'm so happy you're not

having sex with Teddy!    

[wheezing laugh]    

Holt; Damn it, we're locked in.    

Who are you working with, you coward?    

Terry: I didn't do anything.    

I bet this was all Santiago's plan.    

She's making a play for the tube.    

She knew you hid it at Doggy Daycare.    

Holt: How do you know her plan?    

Terry: Since I wasn't part of the heist,    

people were sloppy around me

with their secrets.    

I know everything.    

For instance, I know the real tube    

is inside that creepy, fake baby doll.    

Holt: Why didn't you tell me this earlier?    

Terry: I was trying to be respectful    

of the heisting process,    

but that was before I got screwed over.    

Holt; Well, your intel is of no use    

since we're locked in here.    

Unless you smash your

gigantic body through the wall.    

Terry: I am not the Kool-Aid Man!

- Okay.    

I am more than my muscles

and I can prove it.    

All the locks in this building

have a magnetic release    

in case of a f*re.    

If we can overload

the circuit, they'll unlock.    

We just need to connect    

the positive terminal of one outlet...    

[grunts] To the negative of the other,    

using this circuit board

and a low-resistance wire.    

Luckily, I came prepared.    

Holt: Do suspenders conduct electricity?    

Oh, the gold thread!    

Terry: Now, we are about

to overload the circuit.    

[electricity zapping]    

Holt: Bing pot.    

Jake: When did you have time

to build all this?    

Amy: Oh, I had it prefabbed months ago,    

and I set it up while

you were looking for Charles.    

Jake: You planted the resignation

letter in my locker    

- so Charles would find it.

Amy: Yep.    

 And then I knew you'd wanna

show off the fireworks.    

- The fireworks that I sold you.

Jake: You're Kristaps?    

_  Amy: ( speaks German) 

Jake; Gah, I got to stop falling for that.    

 But wait, if everything

was fake, what knocked me out?    

[timer beeping rapidly] Oh, no.    

Boyle: What are you doing?

Amy: I know, Charles,    

but there's something

I have to tell you, okay?    

I locked Charles in a supply closet.    

Jake: I have but two things to say to you.    

One: thank you.    

I've always wanted to be chloroformed.    

And, two: how dare you?    

Amy: Sorry, babe.    

- But I play to win.

Jake: Gah!    

That was super cool.    

I hate how attracted

I am to you right now!    

Amy: That worked so well.    

On to phase two.    

Thanks for doing that, Teddy.    

I'm really glad that

we could be friends again.    

Teddy: Of course. I'll always be here for you.    

Which is why I have a question to ask.    

Amy: Oh, no.

Teddy: Amy Santiago,    

- will you marry...

Amy: No!    

I am married to Jake.    

Teddy: And I'm married to Elizabeth.

It's perfect.    

Plus, you just betrayed him.    

You guys are obviously having issues.    

Amy: No, I only betrayed him

to pull off my secret plan.    

I am throwing him the perfect goodbye    

- and it has to be a surprise.

Teddy: Fine.    

But if you think

I'm just gonna sit around    

and wait for you change your mind...    

you're right.    

I will be parked outside

for two more hours.    

Jake: Hello?    

Hello? Is there anyone here?    

Jake: Mlepnos?

Mlepnos:  No.    

Jake: What? Yeah.    

You played violin at my wedding.    

- You're Mlepnos!

Mlepnos: No, my name is Jerry.    

- Jerry Barfralatistan.

Jake: What?    

It doesn't matter. I need your help.    

Can you please hand me

the keys that are down there?    

Yeah, yeah, yes.    

Mlepnos: Thank you, I love keys.    

- Oh...

- And this is for you.    

[soft chirping]    

Jake: What?    

Mlepnos: As they say in my country,

a chicky for a key.    

Jake: Right.    

And what country is that again?    

Mlepnos: Honolulu.

Jake: Okay.    

You know, if it's all the same,    

I'd really just rather have the key.    

Mlepnos: You no want chicky?    

- I don't want key.

Jake: Oh, perfect.    

Yes! Thank you, Mlepnos.    

Mlepnos: No, it's Jerry... Barkakanatsan.    

Jake: I feel like maybe

you said it a little different    

the first time.    

There you are, my cheating my wife!    

- Give me the tube.

Amy: I don't have it.    

The baby's empty. You lied to me!    

Jake: I'm not the liar, you're the liar.    

I put a tracker in the tube

so I know you've hidden it    

somewhere in this... nope,

you were telling the truth,    

it's on the move. Someone else has it.    

It doesn't matter what you do, Ames,    

you're not gonna ruin this for me.    

Amy: Sorry, Jake, but I'm afraid I have to.    

- You'll thank me later.

Jake: Wait, what does that mean?    

Boyle: I know what it means!

- [both shout]    

I heard you talking to Teddy    

outside the supply closet

you locked me in.    

Amy: Damn it! How did you get out?    

- [soft chirping]

Jake:?[gasps] Mlepnos.    

Boyle: Amy's throwing you the perfect goodbye.    

Jake: Over my d*ad butt crack, she is.    

Although, thank you,

that was a very nice thought.    

Now drive!    

♪    

Sculls: Go, go, go!    

Holt: They're going for the tube. Follow them.    

Boyle: What are you doing, Scully?    

Scully: Everybody left the precinct    

and I was scared to be alone.    

Jake: Come on!    

Pull over, we're here!    

[tires screech]    

Jake: Okay, according to the tracker

it's close.    

Let's just agree

that we're gonna pick it up    

and head to the Brooklyn Bridge.    

Amy: Yeah, I agree. That you can suck it!    

We will end up at Shaw's,    

which is actually

a meaningful final location.    

[tires screech, horn honks]    

Terry: Are we too late? Did you get the tube?    

Jake: No, it's somewhere in this building.    

Brooklyn Storage Solutions.    

Amy: Wait a second.

Boyle: I know this place.    

Jake: Yes, this is where we worked    

our first case with Captain Holt.    

Holt: That's right,

it's a meaningful location.    

Tonight is my victory lap.    

I planned the perfect goodbye.    

Jake: You have gotta be kidding me.    

Holt: You see, the whole heist was a ruse    

for the perfect goodbye I planned.    

Jake: I mean, it wasn't that perfect.    

A real perfect goodbye would've had...    

Holt: Sentimental gifts for everyone?    

Jake; Damn it! Just tell us how you did it.    

Holt: Everything hinged on Jeffords.    

I needed him to drop out of the heist    

so he'd have access

to everyone's secrets,    

which is why I set up

a fake interview for him.    

Terry: You were working with Williams?    

But he locked us in his office.    

Holt: Which was critical to me

gaining your trust    

so you'd tell me

where the tube was hidden.    

Terry: Terry's reeling.

Holt:,Armed with that information,    

I texted Kevin who retrieved the tube    

and handed it off to a person

who lured you all here    

and that person was a dog    

and that dog was Cheddar.    

Terry: Hold up. That big speech about    

how I'd make a great captain,

that was all a lie?    

Holt: No, no, I meant every word of it.    

In fact, it's exactly what I said    

to the real Williams two weeks ago.    

It's part of the reason

he decided to make you...    

the new captain of the Nine-Nine.    

Terry: Wait, what? Is this fake too?    

Y'all need to cut the [bleep]

and be honest with me.    

This is my life we're talking about.    

Holt: You want to know if it's real?    

Open your gift and find out.    

Terry: A bag of fish?

Holt: What? No.    

It's supposed to be your captain's bars.    

Jake: The fish are my present to Scully.    

They're the kind that eat

the d*ad skin off your feet.    

Scully: Ooh, they're gonna have a feast tonight.    

Holt: But wait, if that's not Terry's bars,    

what's in the real tube?    

- Wireless headphones?

Amy; They're AirPods.    

- They're my gift for everyone.

Jake: What?    

But you told me not

to get people AirPods!    

You said everyone

already has headphones!    

Amy: Yeah, so you wouldn't buy them    

- and I would get all the glory.

Scully: Wow.    

- Great gift, Amy.

Jake:  Come on!    

Holt: But if I don't have

the winning tube, who does?    

Rosa: I do.    

Gina: Yet another surprise reveal again.    

Rosa: So, my plan was simple.    

The best way to win is to sit back,    

watch everyone else,

and then choose your moment.    

But to do that, I needed people

to think I was gone.    

Gina: It's a trick she learned from me.    

[lisping] During the fourth heist,    

universally considered the best heist.    

Rosa: You were so eager to think    

I'd drop everything

and chase after Adrian.    

Amy: So you don't want to end up

with Pimento?    

Rosa: No, but you believed it    

because you all think

for someone to be happy,    

their story has to end

with marriage and kids.    

Amy: I mean, I believed it because

you told me and I trust you.    

Rosa: Whatever, breeder.    

Anyway, with nobody watching me,    

I was able to figure out

what Holt was up to    

and then I had my other partner

intercept Cheddar.    

Terry: Who was that?

Bill: It's me, Bill.    

Gina: Thurprithe reveal.    

Rosa: So, let's crown me.    

The Grand Champion of the Nine-Nine.    

Jake: A six-month subscription

to the Rosetta Stone?    

Holt: That's my present for Peralta.    

Jake: Your present to me is school?    

I'm glad you're leaving.    

All right, who has the real tube?    

Bill: I do.    

- [all shouting at once]

Boyle: What are you doing, Bill?    

Bill: I'm sorry, but this is your

fault for ending the heists.    

They're my only source of income.    

You're still my best friends. Goodbye!    

Jake:  Bill!

Boyle; He's gone, we're trapped!    

Caroline: Pardon me, excuse me.    

 Did you just say we're trapped?

Jake; Who the hell are you?    

Holt: You don't recognize

Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard?    

The associate principal cellist

for the Berlin Philharmonic?    

She's my surprise celebrity.    

Jake:?Are you kidding me?    

You ruined my big goodbye

to the Nine-Nine    

so we can listen to some nerd

play a giant violin?    

Caroline: Shall I begin?

Jake: No.    

Terry: Wait, wait, wait,    

did you say your goodbye

to the Nine-Nine?    

Where you going?    

Jake: Uh, well,    

I was hoping that this would be    

a more dramatic moment

accompanied by fireworks but...    

- I'm leaving the NYPD.

Holt: You are?    

Rosa:  What?

Gina: Theriouthly?    

Terry: For real?

Jake: Yeah.    

Today was my last day.    

And now it looks like    

it's gonna end with all of us    

locked in a storage facility.    

Terry: No, it's not.    

Can't you see?    

You all want the same thing,    

a perfect goodbye.    

But you're all getting

in each other's way.    

We are the Nine-Nine,    

and we work best together.    

And we're getting out of here together.    

So we're gonna find that tube

and we're gonna be crowned    

Grand Champions

of the Nine-Nine together!    

Caroline: Except for the ugly one

that made fun of my cello.    

Terry: Not now, Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard.    

Holt: I agree with Jeffords.    

Read the room,

Caroline Saint-Jacques Renard.    

Rosa: Great speech, Terry, but

we're kind of trapped in here.    

Terry: Not for long.    

I'm gonna Kool-Aid Man us

the hell out of here.    

Jake: I thought you said that was impossible.    

Terry: It's not, I just find it demeaning.    

It's actually very easy.    

Jake: Ah!    

[crashing]    

Terry: Oh, yeah!    

Jake: Oh, yes! Now go through that wall!    

Terry: I'm not doing any more walls,

Jake, we're free.    

Jake: Fair enough, I had to ask.    

All right, I got Bill on the GPS.    

Huh, that's weird.    

Amy: What? Where'd he go?    

Holt: Are you sure he came back

to the precinct?    

The tracker must be broken.

There's no one here.    

Hitchcock: Wrong, Captain!    

I'm here.    

Michael Hitchcock,    

the Grand Champion of the Nine-Nine.    

Rosa: Hitchcock?    

Jake: Well, this doesn't feel right.    

Hitchcock: I bet you're all wondering

how I pulled it off.    

Rosa:,Not really, but I guess

that's the tradition.    

Hitchcock: The key to the whole plan    

was that I never really retired    

or moved to Brazil.    

I've been living in the

Beaver Trap this whole time.    

Jake: Okay, but what was the rest of the plan?    

Scully: Oh, we had not come up with it.    

Hitchcock: But then Bill came by and offered    

to sell me the tube

for forty bucks and I won.    

- Pretty good stuff.

- Now, crown me.    

Jake: Ugh, this stinks.    

Okay, Michael Hitchcock,    

you are an amazing human/genius    

and the Grand Champion of the Nine-Nine.    

Why is your head so sweaty?    

Hitchcock: Oh, because that's actually butt skin    

from a botched hair transplant

so there are more pores.    

Jake: I can't believe this is how it ends,    

with Hitchcock's sweaty butt head.    

Scully: I told myself I wouldn't cry.    

Boyle: Ah, Jake, I'm sorry you didn't get    

- your perfect goodbye.

Jake: Yeah.    

This whole thing did kinda turn into    

a scalding hot mess.    

But to be honest,    

I think I just wanted

a big dramatic moment    

so that I wouldn't feel sad.    

Because goodbyes are inherently sad.    

They mean that something's ending.    

And this one is especially sad    

because what we had was so great.    

But it's not all sad, right?    

We're moving on to things that we love.    

And we'll always have    

the memories of our times together,    

even though Hitchcock won the heist,    

which makes me so mad    

I wanna swallow my own tongue and die.    

Holt: It's a disgrace.

Jake: Anyways,    

I say we hang out, have a drink,    

and enjoy all of us

being together one last time.    

To the squad.    

ALL: To the squad.    

Gina: Hi You just drank cement!    

Terry: Why?    

Amy: Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?    

I just want you to know

that I don't care    

if you end up with anyone

or get married or whatever.    

I just want you to be happy.    

Rosa: I am happy.    

I'm making a difference,

I've got great friends.    

Also, I'm moving in

with my girlfriend, Debra.    

She is amazing. She makes me feel whole.    

Amy: Oh, really?    

Rosa: Oh, my God, this is too easy.    

No, I don't want to settle down.    

Amy: Right. I'm sorry, sorry.    

Rosa: It's fine. I'm just messing with you.    

It's crazy you're leaving.    

We spent a lot of time here.    

Amy: Yeah, we did.    

I'm really happy it was with you.    

Rosa: Same here.    

I love you.    

Amy: I love you too.    

[glasses clink]    

Terry: Hey, Boyle, I'm glad

you're sticking around.    

I'm gonna be depending on you a lot.    

Boyle: You got it, Captain,

for diet and exercise tips.    

Terry: What? No.    

To solve cases. My body's fine.    

Boyle: Nice, that's a very healthy attitude.    

Gina: Hey, guys, can I be real?    

I just took a bunch of diamonds

from the evidence locker.    

No one ever changed the code.    

Anyway, toodaloo.    

Terry: Was she being real?    

Boyle; I honestly can't tell.    

Hitchcock: I missed you, bud.    

Scully:I missed you too.    

Hitchcock: [sniffs] Mmm.    

You got wing sauce on your collar.    

Scully; I left it there for you.    

Holt: So, you're leaving.    

That must've been a hard decision.    

Jake: Honestly...    

- It wasn't.

Holt:  It's funny.    

On my first day here,    

I asked Jeffords

to tell me about everyone.    

He told me you were a great detective,    

but the one thing

you couldn't figure out    

was how to grow up.    

Well...    

I think you've finally figured it out.    

Jake: Well, thank you, sir.    

I couldn't have done it without you.    

Holt: Over the years,

you've sometimes referred to me    

as something of a father figure.    

Jake: Did I? I didn't realize that.    

Holt; But I want you to know    

if I had had a son    

and, uh, he had turned out like you,    

I would be very proud of him.    

Jake:,Thank you, sir.    

Wow.    

Wasn't expecting to get this emotional.    

Holt: It's not bad for an old robot, huh?    

Beep-borp. Zeep.    

[chuckles]    

Jake: Sir, did you just make a joke?

Holt: I believe I did, yes.    

I guess in the end,    

we rubbed off on each other quite a bit.    

Title of your sex movie.    

Did I do that right?    

Jake: It was perfect.    

[both chuckle softly]    

Terry: Guys, I hate to say it,    

but it's late and some of us

have to work tomorrow.    

[gentle instrumental music]    

♪    

[sighs]    

Jake: Well, I guess this is it.    

So long, Nine-Nine.    

Terry: Hey!

- What are you doing?    

You can't turn off the lights    

at a working police precinct!    

Jake: Right, sorry.    

Got caught up in my own thing.    

- There we go.

- [elevator dings]    

[gentle instrumental music]    

♪    

_    

Terry: Shaheen and Dunn,    

you're on the Prospect Park tagger.    

Gates, Nahar, remember

to check in with Forensics.    

Boyle, Larkin,    

I want you working

the J Street Axe m*rder.    

Larkin: Ooh, we're the butcher bimbos.    

Boyle: No.

Larkin: The butcher babes.    

Boyle: Nope.

Larkin: Detective Boyle and his    

- little butcher buddy.

Boyle: Oh, I like that.    

Terry: Now that that's been sorted,    

- are there any questions?

Jake: Yes!    

I have a question!    

Captain Jeffords,    

are you ready for the Halloween Heist?    

Terry: What are you doing, Peralta?    

Last year was the final heist.    

We all agreed it was over.    

Jake: Ah, Terry, you jolly simpleton.    

That was obviously a ruse.

I mean, did you really think    

I was gonna let Hitchcock

win the last heist?    

I mean, that would be crazy!    

Hitchcock?

It would've been unforgiveable.    

Hitchcock: That's true, it felt wrong.    

Holt: I know someone who's in.    

The old janitor, which is actually me!    

Deputy Commissioner Raymond Holt.    

Amy: And he's not the only one.    

I'm in too.    

Rosa: Me too.

Gina: As am I.    

Gina Linetti.    

Jake: That's right, Terry,    

this is happening every year.    

We're in each other's lives forever,    

whether you like it or not.    

So, what do you say, Captain?    

Are we doing this?    

Terry: What I say is...    

Nine-Nine!    

ALL: Nine-Nine!
{"type": "series", "show": "Brooklyn Nine-Nine", "episode": "08x10 - The Last Day (2)"}