FADE IN:

EXT. WOODS - VIEWFINDER

WILLIAM MOORE: (V.O.) I am here in Shenandoah State Park. Oh, that's beautiful. Wow!(CAMERA PANS POND AND HILLSIDE THROUGH VIEWFINDER)

(ACTION CONTINUES AS MOORE TUMBLES DOWN THE HILL)

(MUSIC OUT)

(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)

FADE IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

"CAUGHT ON TAPE"

KATE: (V.O.) He did that? Yeah? (INTO PHONE) You're kidding. Well, I wouldn't put it in my romantic column, Deb. Definitely kinky. Maybe affectionately odd. But I mean, I don't find anything romantic about having sex with...I'll call you back later.

(HANGS UP PHONE)

TONY: Sex with a what?

KATE: None of your business.

TONY: Another woman?

KATE: Go back to your desk.

TONY: Another man?

KATE: I told you.

TONY: Some kind of root vegetable?

KATE: You're disgusting.

TONY: Wasn't me having a conversation about kinky sex, Kate.

KATE: It was a private conversation, Tony, something you seem to have a difficult time with.

TONY: If I'd been having that conversation, you'd accuse me of being a Neanderthal.

KATE: Well, that doesn't require a conversation, Tony.

TONY: You know what I think, Kate? I think there's a secret side to you. A Spike Steele video kind of side. Keep it hidden under your mattress.

KATE: Leave now.

TONY: Ah, you're a Spike Steel fan, aren't you, Probie?

MCGEE: What, the p*rn star?

TONY: No, the physicist.

MCGEE: Oh, no not really. He looks kind of sleazy.

KATE: Actually he looks a little bit like Tony.

TONY: Oh, you have no idea how much he looks like me. Kate, how do you know what he looks like?

KATE:

I saw him on the news when he was arrested a few years ago.

TONY: Really. Spike Steel's real name is Jay McMann. And according to the National Crime Database he's never been arrested. Ever.(SFX: KEYBOARDING B.G.)

GIBBS: What're you waiting for, DiNozzo?

TONY: Uh...

GIBBS: Gas the truck.

TONY: I knew that.

GIBBS: McGee, get Ducky.

MCGEE: What am I telling him, Boss?

GIBBS: We have a d*ad Marine in Shenandoah River State Park. Come on! Let's go!

CUT TO:

EXT. STATE PARK - DAY

KETT: (V.O.) Sergeant William Moore. Call came in from his wife.

GIBBS: The friend?

KETT: Sergeant Roger Caine. All camping together. This morning they were going to hike this trail. Sergeant Moore went ahead early to film the sunrise. When they couldn't find him, they called us. Early in the morning, it's really slippery up here. Sergeant lost his traction and slipped.

GIBBS: Are you a trained investigator, Ranger Kett?

KETT: Been working this park five years, Agent Gibbs. It's as treacherous as it comes up here. Seen a lot of hikers go over.

GIBBS: This hiker was a Marine.

KETT: Yeah, well, this Marine slipped and fell to his death.

GIBBS: You said he was filming.

KETT: That's what his wife said. No sign of the camera.

GIBBS: Me and my team can take it from here.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIL - DAY

KATE: I wonder what happened to McGee?

TONY: Probably passed out on the side of the trial sucking his thumb.

KATE: He joined a gym, you know.

TONY: Is that right?

MCGEE: (SHOUTS) Wait up!

TONY: He should get his money back. Where the hell have you been?

MCGEE: Ducky needed some help with his gear. How much further is this?

KATE: It's another quarter of a mile.

TONY: Uphill. Stamina, Probie. It's very important in our profession. As it is in Spike Steel's profession.

KATE: You relate to him, don't you, Tony?

TONY: Oh, we have a lot in common.

KATE: Stamina?

TONY: For one.

CUT TO:

EXT. CREEK - DAY

DUCKY: What are your preliminary findings, Mister Palmer?

JIMMY: Ah, lacerations, bruises, contusions consistent with a fall of this kind.

DUCKY: And?

JIMMY: And uh... I would imagine that the victim has sustained fractures of several limbs.

DUCKY: Cause of death?

JIMMY: Impossible to say until we get him back, but from the looks of his head wounds, I would say that he probably struck a rock.

DUCKY: Cause of death?

JIMMY: Shock.

DUCKY: That would be my supposition as well.

JIMMY: But what I don't get is the flesh trauma. What kind of wounds are these, Doctor?

DUCKY: They're Coyote. They would eat the exposed tissue first.

JIMMY: What's second?

DUCKY: If what I suspect is true, the abdominal cavity has been chewed open. The liver and kidney are a rich source of nutrients for these creatures.

JIMMY: That's gross, Doctor.

DUCKY: Well actually, Mister Palmer, we're quite lucky here. In some cases they chew off the head and carry it away so they won't have to fight other coyotes for it. My coroner friend in Los Angeles says coyotes take it "to go." They're very strange in Los Angeles.

GIBBS: Anything unusual, Duck?

DUCKY: Not really, Jethro. I'll know more when I get our Marine back on the table.

MCGEE: Boss! I found the camcorder!

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMPGROUND - DAY

JUDY: He was obsessed with the stupid camera. I gave it to him on his birthday. Maybe if he hadn't, he wouldn't have slipped.

GIBBS: Anybody else at this campsite while you were here.

CAINE: No, Sir. Just the drunk. He was nothing to worry about. He was in a trailer over there. Scruffy guy. He was drinking too much. He got loud. We asked him to keep it down.

GIBBS: He didn't keep it down?

CAINE: No, Sir. So we went over there and tried to reason with him. That's when he took a swing.

KATE: You took a swing back?

CAINE: No, Ma'am. Bill put him in a head-lock 'til he calmed down and then he just took off.

GIBBS: I don't suppose you got a license number?

CAINE: No, point, Sir. The guy was harmless.

JUDY: Bill spends eight months in Iraq and dies filming a sunrise in Virginia.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

ABBY: That's not the way it works, Gibbs. This thing has been in water for hours. You don't just spray a little Four-Oh-Nine on the tape and off you go.

GIBBS: Tape?

ABBY: Yes. It's digital video tape.

GIBBS: I thought everything was a chip these days.

ABBY: No, they kind of married the old school with the new. You know like new hip-hoppers will go back to old-school rappers like Sugar Hill g*ng.

GIBBS: How long?

ABBY: I have to separate the cartridge. I have to submerge the wheels in a cleaning solution with the heads up against it. I have to remove the silt contaminants so they don't shred the tape...

GIBBS: How long Abby?

ABBY: Um... three, maybe four hours.

GIBBS: Let me know when you got it.

ABBY: Hey Gibbs, do you have a camcorder?

GIBBS: Yeah. Digital, okay?

ABBY: Good, Gibbs! Way to go! Did you make the jump to CDs yet? Because if you didn't, it's cool because all the hot D.J.s, they use vinyl these days anyway.

GIBBS: Just get it to me.

ABBY: Hey Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Peace out, man.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Indiscriminate predators; coyotes, fish, cats, garbage. They'll eat anything they can chew, unlike my mother who can no longer chew anything. I assure you, Mister Palmer, it is a beastly sight.

JIMMY: Yes, it is, Doctor.

DUCKY: I was speaking of my mother.

JIMMY: Right.

DUCKY: Have you ever seen a rib-eye steak that's been reduced to baby food by a Cuisinart?

JIMMY: Not recently.

DUCKY: It's remarkably similar to her burritos and her pizzas. Not to mention the Sunday dinner treat sushi through a straw. Give me a pair of tweezers, Mister Palmer. There's something peculiar here.

JIMMY: What is it, Doctor?

DUCKY: I haven't a clue. That's why you will take it directly up to Abby. I was thinking, Mister Palmer...

JIMMY: Yes, Doctor?

DUCKY: Perhaps it about time you came over to the house one evening.

JIMMY: Came over?

DUCKY: Join us for dinner.

JIMMY: Ah... that'd... that would be great.

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: Northern White Ash. Ash trees are not indigenous to this area. And even if they were, you know any that have kiln dried wood and a lacquer coating?

GIBBS: Lacquer?

ABBY: Yep. Clear coat.

GIBBS: Baseball bat.

ABBY: Wooden bats are made out of either maple or ash. Ash is more popular, but it tends to splinter more easily

GIBBS: Especially when they come in contact with somebody's skull.

ABBY: Somebody did a Barry Bonds on Sergeant Moore's head, Gibbs.

(MUSIC OUT)

FADE IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: (V.O.) Sergeant William Moore, transferred from Camp Lejeune to Quantico two months ago. (ON CAMERA) He was serving as an E-I for all newly commissioned Marine Officers.

MCGEE: E.I.?

TONY: Enlisted instructor, Probie.

MCGEE: Uh... what did he teach, Kate?

KATE: Well, according to his records, MOUT.

TONY: MOUT stands for military operations..

MCGEE: Yes, I know what it stands for, Tony.

TONY: Well, excuse me for trying to help junior agents!

MCGEE: Trust me, when I need help you will be the first person I ask...where Gibbs or Kate is.

(TONY LAUGHS)

KATE: Are you two done?

TONY: For the moment.

KATE: These are the last two people to have seen our Sergeant alive. His best friend, and his wife.

MCGEE: Hey!

TONY: Now I'm done. Continue.

KATE: Do you think that one or both of them could have m*rder the Sergeant?

TONY: Well it is kind of weird a single guy hanging out with a married couple.

MCGEE: I agree.

KATE: Why is that?

TONY: Well, because he's a single guy hanging out with married people.

KATE: I do that all the time.

TONY: Yeah, but you bring a date, right?

KATE: Not... always.

MCGEE: Are you related to them?

KATE: No. (LONG b*at) What?

TONY: Well, who usually invites you ...?

MCGEE: The man or the woman?

KATE: I don't know, I guess usually the guy. Okay, a lot of my friends are from the Secret Service, and most of them happen to be men.

TONY: What about your ... girlfriend who called yesterday morning?

KATE: Well, Deb is married to one of my buddies, Rick.

(TONY AND MCGEE GIGGLE)

KATE: Okay, so what you're trying to say is that all of my married male friends secretly want to sleep with me?

TONY: Pretty much. Yeah.

KATE: That's very mature, Tony. And for your information, men and women can just be friends. Isn't that right, McGee?(TONY AND MCGEE GIGGLE)

MCGEE: Technically.

KATE: What do you mean technically?

TONY: He means she'd have to be pretty ugly first.(TONY AND MCGEE GIGGLE)

MCGEE: I didn't say that.

KATE: I swear I do not get paid enough for this.

GIBBS: For what, Kate?

KATE: Nothing. We are just discussing potential suspects.

TONY: Focusing on the Sergeant's wife and best friend, Boss.

GIBBS: Yeah. Well, come on. We've got one more.

(TONY AND MCGEE GIGGLE)

KATE: You guys are four years old, honestly.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

TONY: Uh... nice hat.

KATE: Attractive.

MCGEE: In a weird way.

GIBBS: Why?

ABBY: Well, I had to set up a clean room in the ballistics lab to work on the damaged videotape. And just throwing the hats away seemed sort of wasteful. So I decided to recycle. What do you think?

GIBBS: I think it suits you. Now what's on the tape?

ABBY: Oh, I haven't finished cleaning it up yet, but I have a P-O-I.

TONY: Person of interest.

GIBBS: Let's see it.

ABBY: The following program has been edited for time and content. It may not be appropriate for younger viewers.

GIBBS: Abby!

ABBY: Right.

JUDY: (ON TAPE) This isn't a good idea, Bill.

MOORE: (ON TAPE) I've asked this guy three times to turn his music down.

CAINE: (ON TAPE) Yea, now we make him.

MOORE: (ON TAPE) And if he has a g*n or something in there?

CAINE: (ON TAPE) I film it and we get the redneck arrested.

MOORE: (ON TAPE) Way to encourage him, Roger.

CAINE: (ON TAPE) Oh, come on, honey. It's not that big of a deal. We'll be right back.

ABBY: Okay, this next part is like an outtake from Deliverance.

RUNION: (ON TAPE) I thought I told you guys to leave me the hell alone!

MOORE: (ON TAPE) Sir. We will once you turn the music down.(SFX: DOG BARKS B.G.)

RUNION: (ON TAPE) What? Do you think I'm afraid of you or something?

MOORE: (ON TAPE) I'm not here to fight you. We just want you to lower the music...

(SFX: STRUGGLE)

MOORE: (ON TAPE) Hey hey hey!

RUNION: (ON TAPE) I'll k*ll you! I'll k*ll you!

MOORE: (ON TAPE) No. What you just did, you just as*ault me on camera. Now either you leave or we're going to call the cops.

RUNION: (ON TAPE) All right. Just let me go.

MOORE: (ON TAPE) Huh?

RUNION: (ON TAPE) All right.

GIBBS: We need to I.D. this guy.

ABBY: Oh, I'm way ahead of you, Gibbs. I got a sh*t of the license plate. It is registered to a David Runion. His last address is an R.V. campground in Manassas. He's since moved.

GIBBS: Find him. That's good work, Abby. Tony, head back to Shenandoah State Park. Take McGee.

TONY: For what exactly, Boss?

GIBBS: I want to know where the Sergeant was k*lled before he was tossed off that cliff.

TONY: Oh. Get the sedan ready, Probie. I'll meet you out front.

ABBY: So Kate, you really like my hat?

KATE: Uh... it's different.

ABBY: Cool, because I made you one!

KATE: Abby, I don't know what to say.

ABBY: Put it on!

KATE: Okay.

MCGEE: She bet me twenty bucks that she could make you wear that today.(MCGEE WALKS O.S.)

ABBY: Your cut.

KATE: Pleasure doing business with you, Abs.

ABBY: Totally.

CUT TO:

EXT. STATE PARK - DAY

TONY: Hurry it up, McGee.

MCGEE: I mean, you could have helped.

TONY: I did. I carried the camera. Moore was a Marine, a combat veteran. Probably not the easiest guy in the world to sneak up on.

MCGEE: Unless he knew his attacker.

TONY: Or was ambushed. It's pretty wide open space. Let's check out the tree line.

CUT TO:

EXT. TRAIL - DAY

MCGEE: Blood drop.

TONY: Sure looks like it. Okay, we're going to have to search in there. You're going to want to watch out for--

MCGEE: Yes, I know how to search a wooded area, Tony. I'm not an idiot.

TONY: I didn't say you were.

MCGEE: Then why do you always treat me like one?

TONY: Just trying to impart a little wisdom, McGee.

MCGEE: Look, I graduated top of my class at FLET-C. So I think I can handle it.

TONY: Be my guest. Give me a call if you find anything.

MCGEE: I will.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: I found David Runion, Gibbs. He checked into another campground twenty miles from the Shenandoah State Park. Also ran a background check on him. He's served time.

GIBBS: For what?

KATE: as*ault and battery. He nearly b*at a man to death with a pool cue in ninety three.

GIBBS: Looks like this time he might have succeeded.

KATE: We getting a warrant?

GIBBS: We need evidence for a warrant, Kate. Right now I just want to talk to him.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODED AREA - DAY

MCGEE: Tony! I found it!

(PASSAGE OF TIME)

TONY: Not bad. Not bad at all, McGee.

MCGEE: Thanks. Hey, I'm sorry about that there.

TONY: Don't mention it. Besides, that's a pretty brave thing to do.

MCGEE: What do you mean brave?

TONY: Well, crawling around back here in all this poison ivy. I don't know if I would have done it.

MCGEE: You're... you're kidding, right?

TONY: Leaves of three let them be, McGee. A little something I picked up during my first year. Don't touch me, by the way.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

EXT. CAMPGROUND - DAY

KATE: Is that a rat or a dog? Hey, buddy. Hey. Oh. Sorry. I wouldn't do that if I were you, Gibbs. One day you're going to have to tell me how you do that.(SFX: DOG GROWLS/BARKS)

GIBBS: Easy. They can sense sarcasm. (SFX: DOG GROWLS/BARKS)

(GIBBS AND KATE WALK TO THE CAMPER)

GIBBS: (SHOUTS) Runion! Special Agents Gibbs and Todd, NCIS! I'd like to ask you a few questions! (KNOCK ON DOOR)

(DOOR OPENS)

CUT TO:

INT. CAMPER - DAY

GIBBS: Clear. What do you think?

KATE: The word disgusting comes to mind.

GIBBS: You smell that?

KATE: Ah, if you're referring to the urine, yes.

GIBBS: No, I meant this.

KATE: Marijuana?

GIBBS: Yeah, it's recent too. Ah...

KATE: Well, it's enough to bring him in and hold him for a while.

GIBBS: Oh, yeah.

(SFX: DOG BARKS)

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMPGROUND - DAY

KATE: (SHOUTS) Runion! Federal agents! Stop! (SFX: DOG CONTINUES BARKING)

(MUSIC OVER ACTION/KATE AND GIBBS CHASE RUNION)

RUNION: Idiots.

GIBBS: Put your hands behind your head.

RUNION: How did you...?

GIBBS: Sneak up on you like that?

RUNION: Yeah.

GIBBS: I used to do it for a living. Back then you'd be d*ad instead of under arrest. Any other questions?

RUNION: Uh-uh.

GIBBS: I didn't think so.

(FADE TO BLACK)

FADE IN:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

RUNION: I know you can hear me out there. I'm telling you for the last time.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

RUNION: I gotta use the bathroom.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

RUNION: Okay, have it your way. It won't be the first time I had to do this.

KATE: Maybe we should.

TONY: He's bluffing.

KATE: Tony, you didn't see the inside of his camper.

TONY: That bad, huh?

KATE: Picture the most disgusting public restroom you've ever been in, covered in puss and vomit. I would still rather live there than this guy's place.

TONY: That's nice, Kate.

KATE: You should thank me. Eating that crap will k*ll you.

TONY: I'm more concerned about what Gibbs will do if this redneck takes one in our interrogation room.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

RUNION: I gotta use the bathroom.

GIBBS: Hold it.

RUNION: I can't.

GIBBS: Good, we can do this quick. Why'd you m*rder Sergeant William Moore?

RUNION: What? Who the hell is that?

GIBBS: That's right. You probably don't recall his name.

MOORE: (ON TAPE) Sir, I'm not here to fight you. We just want you to lower the music.(SFX: DOG BARKS B.G.)

(STRUGGLE)

(ON TAPE) Hey hey hey!

RUNION: (ON TAPE) I'll k*ll you.

MOORE: (ON TAPE) What you just did was as*ault--

GIBBS: He was found yesterday lying at the bottom of a cliff.

RUNION: Is that what this is all about? You think I k*lled some jarhead? No way, man. Nice try.

GIBBS: Why'd you run?

RUNION: 'Cause of the pot in my trailer. I got a medical condition.

GIBBS: What? Stupidity?

RUNION: Oh, man. I was really drunk that night. I barely even remember the guy. I sure as hell didn't k*ll him.

GIBBS: Where were you yesterday between five thirty and seven thirty a.m.?

RUNION: Sleeping. Yeah, at the rest stop off Two Eleven. I didn't even wake up until after ten o'clock.

GIBBS: Witnesses.

RUNION: Oh, sure. I mean, there were lots of other cars and trucks when I pulled in.

GIBBS: I need names.

RUNION: I don't have any names.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

KATE: There are two rest stops on that road, Tony.

TONY: Check if they have any video surveillance or attendants.

KATE: On it.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Running it, boss.

RUNION: So what happens now?

GIBBS: You've got a violent past, your alibi's weak. And I've got you on tape thr*at the victim. You tell me, Runion?

DAVID: It's been this way my whole life. It's always been like this. One freakin' nightmare after another. But I swear to you, Agent Gibbs, I didn't k*ll anybody.

GIBBS: We found your bat.

DAVID: What bat?

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

MCGEE: Hey, Abby. You got something?

ABBY: Well, I've got good news and bad news. This is definitely our bat. The splinter from Sergeant Moore's head fits perfectly.

MCGEE: Bad news?

ABBY: It's been wiped clean of any prints. The only thing on it is urushiol oil. That's the stuff found in ... aah!

MCGEE: What?!

ABBY: You... you have to see this for yourself.

MCGEE: Whoa! This is going to hurt, isn't it?

ABBY: Yes.

MCGEE: I look like a circus freak! Abby, what do I do?

ABBY: Um... well, you could use Calamine lotion. Or perhaps just wear some sort of mask.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: (INTO PHONE) And can you mark it "Special Agent Todd." Thanks, Sheriff Lester. Dinner? Aren't you married? Well, it does to me. (TO TONY) My mother wonders why I'm not married.

(HANGS UP)

TONY: So does mine.

KATE: Could you stop doing that?

TONY: I'm practicing, Kate.

KATE: What? Annoying me?

TONY: No, the creepy way Gibbs used to sneak up on us.

KATE: What do you mean used to?

TONY: The old man's been wearing Ben-Gay lately. I can smell him coming a mile away.

GIBBS: Is that a fact, DiNozzo?

TONY: Knee feeling better, Boss?

GIBBS: Much.

TONY: Great.

GIBBS: What about Runion's alibi?

KATE: I've got the local sheriff pulling the security tapes from the rest stops on Route Two-Eleven.

TONY: And we have a description of his pickup and trailer circulating with the state cops who worked the area that night.

KATE: Do you think he did it, Gibbs?

GIBBS: Oh, yeah. And Tony is cleaning up. (INTO PHONE) Janitorial, don't worry about interrogation. DiNozzo is gonna handle it. (TO TONY) You still here?

TONY: Are you serious? ...You serious? Oh. In my defense, I did use the word creepy in the most... affectionate way. Right.

KATE: You might want to use gloves.

GIBBS: Where's McGee?

CUT TO:

INT. NCIS AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY

DUCKY: Oh, let's see what we're dealing with here, Timothy. Ah, the dreaded Toxicodendrom radicans... the Poison Ivy plant. You seem to be particularly allergic to it. Usually it takes several days for this sort of reaction to develop.

MCGEE: I'm lucky that way.

DUCKY: The last time I encountered a case of this magnitude, two young lovers fell asleep naked in a field of it. I don't think Sarah has ever forgiven me for that one.

MCGEE: What I don't understand is how did I get it all over my face?

DUCKY: It's the urushiol oil in the plant. Yes, once it gets on your hands it spreads by contact.

MCGEE: Um... then I have a major problem, Ducky. When I was out there, I um... I had to... you know...?

DUCKY: No, I don't.

MCGEE: Relieve myself.

DUCKY: Oh. Ooh. Well, let's take a look then.

MCGEE: This is kind of embarrassing.

DUCKY: I'm a doctor, McGee. I have seen everything there is to see more times than I care to remember. Good Lord!

MCGEE: What? Is it bad?

DUCKY: No, no it's fine. Fine. Nothing to worry about. I didn't expect to see quite so much ...swelling.

MCGEE: If Tony finds out about this I'm going to have to quit.

DUCKY: Well your secret is safe with me.(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

JIMMY: Doctor, I've got the new inspection forms you req - I'll come back.(SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED)

DUCKY: Him I'm not so sure about.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: (V.O.) Runion's trailer pulled into the rest stop around one a.m. that morning, (ON CAMERA) Gibbs. And with a little image enhancement...

TONY: Runion. I can almost smell him from here.

GIBBS: How long did he stay?

KATE: All night.

GIBBS: Distance from Shenandoah River State Park?

TONY: It's about two miles, Boss.

KATE: Well, I guess he was telling the truth. We're going to have to find a new suspect.

(PHONE RINGS)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs. (TO KATE AND TONY) Maybe not. Come on.

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: How you feeling?

MCGEE: Like an idiot. Tony tried to warn me. I didn't listen.

ABBY: Oh, don't feel bad. The same thing happened to him the first year he was here.

MCGEE: Really?

ABBY: Not quite this spectacularly, but yeah.

MCGEE: So honestly, how do I look?

ABBY: Um... do you want the truth, or do you want me to lie to you to ease the burden of your own self-loathing.

MCGEE: I'd prefer the lie.

ABBY: Me, too. You're the fairest in the land, McGee.

GIBBS: Okay, what have you got for me, Abs?

MCGEE: It looks worse than it is.

KATE: I'm not so sure about that.

TONY: She means you look like the elephant man, Probie.

KATE: Tony.

TONY: It's true.

GIBBS: Can you still work, McGee?

MCGEE: Yeah sure, Boss.

GIBBS: Okay, what have you got for me, Abby?

ABBY: Um, I cleaned up more of the Sergeant's videotape.

GIBBS: I need to see the last thing he sh*t.

ABBY: Ooh, unfortunately that's the part that received the most damage from the impact. It was in contact from the heads and a lot of the data got...

GIBBS: When?

ABBY: I sent it to the Naval photo lab and hopefully I'm going to have it back by tomorrow.

GIBBS: Well what am I doing here, Abby?

ABBY: Because of this. This is from the beginning of the tape. It's mostly them setting up camp and checking out the area. And then there is... this.

TONY: (V.O.) It looks like the widow and the best friend don't know they're being videotaped. (DIALOGUE OVER CAMCORDER SCENES)

ABBY: (V.O.) And on the next side...

MOORE: (ON TAPE) Honey, what's wrong?

TONY: Still think men and women can just be friends, Kate?

(MUSIC OUT)

FADE IN:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: I can't be sure, Gibbs. According to Gloria, lip reading was never my strong suit.

KATE: Gloria her deaf sister?

GIBBS: Mm-mm. Mother.

ABBY: I think Judy Moore is saying... we have to something... blank him.

KATE: k*ll?

ABBY: No...

GIBBS: m*rder?

ABBY: Nope.

TONY: Love.

ABBY: No.

TONY: I really wish you'd stop doing that.

GIBBS: I will, Tony, once you stop blanking up.

KATE: Abby, could you pull the video back wider? You see how she's touching his face? I mean, it's very intimate. Clearly there's more than a friendship going on here.

TONY: Which just goes to prove my point about the sexes, Kate.

GIBBS: DiNozzo, you pick up Sergeant Caine in the morning. Kate, you pick up Judy Moore, don't tell her why.

TONY: Looks like we're going to play Gibb's favorite game.

ABBY: Musical interrogation rooms.

CUT TO:

EXT. ARMY BASE - DAY

MCGEE: People are staring at me.

TONY: Of course. You're hideously disfigured, Probie. If you'd listened to me you wouldn't be in this mess.

MCGEE: If I'd listened to you, Gibbs would have fired me six months ago. You were going to whack me, but you stopped. Why?

TONY: Ah, I remember what was like being the new guy, trying to fit in, never make mistakes. Of course, the obvious.

MCGEE: You like me?

TONY: No, it would be like touching a leper.

CUT TO:

EXT. BUILDINGS - DAY

CAINE: Ladies and gentlemen, this way please. My favorite part of the tour - the Marine Corps sn*per. One of the most feared warriors in the world. After a brief demonstration... Corporal Cameron will be happy to answer any questions you may have. I'll meet you by the command center when he's done.

CAMERON: (V.O.) Ladies and Gentlemen, you'll notice that our sn*per...

CUT TO:

EXT. BUILDINGS - DAY

CAINE: Any more information about Sergeant Moore's accident, Sir?

TONY: Sure, except that it wasn't an accident.

MCGEE: It was m*rder, Sergeant Caine.

CAINE: m*rder? How?

TONY: Baseball bat to the head.

MCGEE: Fifty-foot fall from a cliff.

TONY: Coyotes probably didn't help.

CAINE: That redneck must have overheard Bill saying he was going to film up there in the morning. We've got to find him!

TONY: We did.

CAINE: You need me to I.D. him?

TONY: No. We do want to know what happened when Sergeant Moore found out you were sleeping with his wife.

CAINE: She told you that?

TONY: No, he did. Didn't know he was videotaping you, did you?

CAINE: It's not what you think.

TONY: Oh, so you weren't sleeping with her?

MCGEE: You're under arrest, Sergeant.

CAINE: For what?

TONY: We'll start with adultery and work our way up from there.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

JUDY: I don't mean to be rude, but couldn't you have just sent me my husband's personal effects, Agent Todd?

KATE: Well, normally we would have but that camera you bought him is pretty expensive.

JUDY: It still works?

GIBBS: Yeah. In a way. Water?

JUDY: Thank you.

KATE: So Mrs. Moore, tell us about your husband? What kind of a man was he?

(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

JUDY: Loving, gentle.

GIBBS: What about jealous?

TONY: Where do you want him, Boss?

GIBBS: Interrogation one.

JUDY: Roger?

CAINE: Judy, what the hell did you tell them?

TONY: No talking, Marine!

JUDY: What is going on here?

GIBBS: That's what you're going to tell me, Mrs. Moore. Take her to interrogation room two. (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs.

KATE: I'll read you your rights on the way.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

GIBBS: Did you get the last sh*t from my tape?

ABBY: I'm just working on it now, Gibbs. It's kind of like a nature documentary but with a riveting m*rder mystery subplot. This is where it gets interesting.

(TAPE PLAYS)

(SFX: MOORE GROANS/FALLS)

GIBBS: He slipped and fell?

ABBY: In the original version. But this movie comes with an alternate ending. In slo-mo, right when the camera slams to the ground...

(TAPE PLAYS)

GIBBS: The k*ller recorded over it.

ABBY: The impact caused the heads to lose contact with the tape, preserving two frames from the original recording. I've been working on cleaning them up.

GIBBS: Any way to recover the rest?

ABBY: Well, since all recordings leave a magnetic impression much like a computer hard drive, by the way, if I scan the data then I'll be able to separate out...

GIBBS: When?

ABBY: You don't have to take the fun out of everything, Gibbs. A few hours.

GIBBS: That's a good job, Abby. You have twenty minutes.

ABBY: Gibbs!

GIBBS: Get McGee to help you!

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

KATE: As disturbing as this sounds, I think you may have a point about the sexes, Tony.

TONY: It's biology one oh one.

KATE: Would you say I'm attractive?

TONY: Sure.

KATE: Then how come you've never...

TONY: I know you.

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: Is something wrong with your arm, Sergeant?

CAINE: I got some poison ivy in the field last week, Sir.

GIBBS: Is that a fact?

CAINE: I didn't m*rder anyone, Sir.

GIBBS: Yeah, well we'll get to that part. How long were you and Sergeant Moore friends?

CAINE: Since boot camp, Sir.

GIBBS: Perris Island or San Diego.

CAINE: San Diego, Sir.

GIBBS: Right. A Hollywood Marine. So how long after that did you start screwing his wife?

JUDY: (V.O.) I don't understand, Agent Gibbs.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM TWO - DAY

JUDY: Why am I in here?

GIBBS: Don't you want to know who m*rder your husband, Mrs. Moore?

JUDY: Yes, but I know it wasn't Roger. He wouldn't. There's no way.

GIBBS: Why's that?

JUDY: Because...he was with me that morning.

GIBBS: By "with me" you mean in the same sleeping bag?

CAINE: (V.O.) She actually said that?

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

CAINE: No way, Sir.

GIBBS: (V.O.) Why would she lie? (ON CAMERA) I mean, besides protecting you, Sergeant.

CAINE: She's insane. Look, right after Sergeant Moore went to film the sunrise, I went down to the campground showers. I was gone for about an hour.

GIBBS: So she was there when you got back?

CAINE: Yes, Sir. She was making breakfast.

GIBBS: So what you're saying is she had about an hour to k*ll him?

CAINE: I... I didn't say that.

GIBBS: My mistake. You're saying you had about an hour to k*ll him.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM TWO - DAY

JUDY: There's no way Roger would say that.

GIBBS: Agent Todd.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

GIBBS: (V.O.) Play back.

KATE: I almost feel sorry for these two.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM TWO - DAY

GIBBS: (ON TAPE) Why would she lie?

CAINE: (ON TAPE) She's insane.

GIBBS: (ON TAPE) So what you're saying is she had about an hour to k*ll him? (ON CAMERA) Let me guess. You thought he loved you.

JUDY: When Bill was in Iraq, Roger and I...(CRYING) we grew close.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

TONY: What now, Boss?

GIBBS: Put them both in the same room. I'm going to need a refill for this.

(DOOR OPENS)

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

CAINE: We fooled around a few times, Judy. It was a stupid mistake.

JUDY: You said you loved me.

CAINE: Are you nuts? Bill was my best friend. It should never have happened.

JUDY: (V.O.) Then why did you k*ll him, if it wasn't to be with me?

CAINE: (SHOUTS) Stop saying that, you crazy...!! (TO GIBBS) I didn't k*ll him! She's making it up!

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM TWO - DAY

JUDY: I'm pregnant, Roger. It's yours.

CUT TO:

INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY

TONY: This is better than cable.

KATE: The question is, which one's telling the truth?

CUT TO:

INT. LAB - DAY

ABBY: Okay, ready to try again, McGee?

MCGEE: Play it.

MOORE: (ON TAPE) Oh, that's beautiful.

(SFX: KEYBOARDING)

(SFX: BEEP TONES)

MCGEE: Just need to adjust the read heads off track a little more.

DAVID: (ON TAPE) Is that you, Roger?

(SFX: MOORE SHOUTS)

(VIDEO FREEZES ON RUNION)

ABBY: Ha!

MCGEE: Ha!

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

TONY: His trailer never left the rest stop.

MCGEE: But Runion did. Abby inverted the image and at zero nine hundred you can just make out his shadow underneath the trailer as he's coming back. It's only a four mile round trip on foot.

KATE: (INTO PHONE) Thanks, Sheriff. (TO GIBBS) Runion posted bail for the pot charge an hour ago.

GIBBS: Let's roll.

MCGEE: What about Sergeant Caine and Mrs. Moore?

GIBBS: Let them suffer for a while. I think Sergeant Moore would appreciate that.

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMPGROUND - DAY

RUNION: Get back in the truck, you miserable piece of crap.(SFX: DOG BARKS B.G.)

(SFX: CAR BRAKES TO A STOP)

(ACTION CONTINUES)

(SFX: MACHINE g*n f*re B.G.)

GIBBS: (SHOUTS) Put down your w*apon, Runion! You're not getting out of here alive!

(SFX: GLASS BREAKS)

(SFX: RAPID g*n CONTINUES)

RUNION: I ain't going back to prison, Gibbs! You hear me?!

TONY: I'd say we're g*n, Boss.

KATE: I'll circle around back.

GIBBS: I've got a better idea.

(SFX: GIBBS WHISTLES)

RUNION: (V.O.) Hey!

(DOG JUMPS INTO THE CAR)

GIBBS: You might want to cover your ears.

(SFX: HUGE PROPANE expl*si*n)

TONY: I think you got him, boss.

KATE: Well, what are we going to do with this thing? No way, Gibbs.

TONY: I'll take him. I always wanted a dog.

(SFX: DOG GROWLS)

KATE: Oh, good dog! I think I'll call you Tony.

GIBBS: It's a bitch, Kate.

KATE: I know.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY

KATE: Is it just me or do you think Tony likes me?

ABBY: I think it's more than obvious Tony likes you.

KATE: Not my usual type, but kind of cute.

ABBY: More like adorable. Maybe we could share Tony?

(SFX: DOG GROWLS/BARKS)

ABBY: What's wrong?

KATE: Oh, nothing. Good doggie. You can come out now, DiNozzo.

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, I'll just, uh... I'll take care of that. Thank you. (TO KATE) Hey.

KATE: Did you bring the dog food?

TONY: Yeah, they didn't have any bowls.

KATE: That's okay. We got it covered.

ABBY: Got a present for you, Little Tony.

KATE: Good idea. Now we can tell the two of them apart.

TONY: At least I don't hang out with married, Kate.

KATE: Ah will you please tell him that men and women can just be friends?

ABBY: Absolutely they can.

TONY: Without having sex?

ABBY: Oh, no. They'll have sex.

KATE: Abby!

ABBY: What, Kate? You never slept with a friend?

KATE: What is wrong with you people?

GIBBS: Good question, Kate. What did you do to the dog?

KATE: Just taking care of her. Unless you want to.

ABBY: Here you go, girl.

KATE: Wow! She even eats like you, Tony.

TONY: Did anybody see my ball cap?

KATE AND ABBY: (IN UNISON) No.

TONY: I could have sworn I left it right on my desk.

(MUSIC OUT)

(ENDING CREDITS UP AND OUT)

(MUSIC UP OVER ENDING CREDITS AND OUT)
{"type": "series", "show": "NCIS", "episode": "02x15 - Caught on Tape"}