by DAVID WHITAKER

first broadcast - 23 December 1967
running time - 23mins 45secs

1. DUNES

(Patches of grass wave in the wind on a sandy hill. The TARDIS fades into existence with a deeper, more grinding whir than the usual. The door opens and the DOCTOR looks out, his pocket handkerchief bl*wing in the wind. He clasps his hands as he steps out, smiling at the gentle waves rolling onto the beach. JAMIE and VICTORIA step out.)

JAMIE: Where are we, Doctor?

DOCTOR: We're by the seaside, that's where we are. That's all that matters!

JAMIE: Aye, but where?

VICTORIA: Yes Doctor, we must know.

DOCTOR: Oh, stop fussing, you two, come on.

(The DOCTOR nods his head and waves his arm toward the water before running down the beach. JAMIE looks at VICTORIA and sighs. The DOCTOR runs toward the water, nearly slipping on the wet rocks. He stops and waves to JAMIE and VICTORIA.)

DOCTOR: Come on, you two! No wait a minute. See if there's any buckets and spades in the TARDIS!

(The DOCTOR runs toward the ocean again. He jumps and clicks his heels as he goes. VICTORIA and JAMIE just watch him in confusion.)

JAMIE: Buckets and spades? Is he gonna dig for worms?

VICTORIA: No, he wants us to play sand castles.

JAMIE: Sand castles?

VICTORIA: Yes.

JAMIE: What does he think we are, a couple of children?

(They start after the DOCTOR.)

2. BEACH

(The DOCTOR keeps running until he spots something and his smile fades. He touches his chin with curiosity. Some kind of vehicle sits on the shore in the distance. The DOCTOR smiles and waves before continuing toward the water.)

3. HOVERCRAFT

(The craft looks a bit like a mix of a car and a boat, and maybe a bit of plane too with the tail sticking up in the back. One of the men inside has his feet up on the dashboard and the man standing outside calls to them.)

ANTON: Hey, Rod! Pass me those binoculars.

(ROD opens the door, which swings upward to rest on the top of the vehicle. He grabs the binoculars and hands them over.)

ROD: Now what's biting you?

ANTON: Some crazy nut dancing a jig.

(As he peers through the binoculars, CURLY stands up to see.)

ANTON: Hey, wait a minute.

(He lowers the binoculars in shock.)

ANTON: It can't be.

(He looks again.)

ANTON: Get below fast, both of you.

CURLY: What's the matter?

ANTON: Move!

4. BEACH

(The DOCTOR, wearing white tights and a t-shirt under his clothes, throws his black frock coat into the wind with a smile. He runs barefoot into the sea. He jumps up and down, waving to JAMIE and VICTORIA.)

DOCTOR: Come on in, the water's lovely! You don't know what you're missing!

VICTORIA: Doctor! You'll catch your death!

(The DOCTOR skips farther into the ocean, splashing through the small waves. He jumps and purposefully falls sideways, submerging himself. JAMIE laughs.)

5. HOVERCRAFT

(The three men are in the vehicle, still watching the DOCTOR, and ROD has the binoculars.)

ROD: Well what do you know? You're right, it is him!

(He lowers the binoculars.)

CURLY: What are we going to do?

(ROD looks through the binoculars and ANTON raises a telephone to his ear.)

6. KENT’S OFFICE intercut with HOVERCRAFT

(A woman stands, staring at a screen displaying an image of the world map, but the continents look skewed because the view is from above, looking straight down on the north pole. The image changes to display Australia, labeled “Australasian Zone.” Her communicator bleeps and she walks around the desk to switch it on.)

ASTRID: Yes?

ANTON: (over communicator) This is Anton.

ASTRID: Where are you?

ANTON: (over communicator) Ten miles west of Cape Arid. Now listen.

ASTRID: Wait a minute.

(She turns a dial and the screen displays Cape Arid.)

ASTRID: What are you doing there?

ANTON: What do you think we're doing, fishing?

ASTRID: (over telephone) I shouldn't be surprised.

ANTON: Oh yeah? Well this time we've caught a whale. He’s here!

ASTRID: (Gives a light gasp of disbelief.) Well that's physically impossible.

ANTON: (over communicator) Oh, it's him all right, there's no shadow of doubt about it.

ASTRID: Oh no, you're making a mistake, you must be.

ANTON: Now listen, there are three of us here. We've all had a look.

ASTRID: Well if you're that definite I'll contact Giles.

(She takes a seat at her desk.)

ANTON: No! We'll take care of this ourselves.

ASTRID: Listen, Anton, you'll do nothing without Giles' agreement.

ANTON: There isn't time!

ASTRID: (over telephone) Make time.

ANTON: If you think I'm gonna pass up a chance like this, you're crazy.

ASTRID: Well at least wait till I get there.

(The machine bleeps again as he hangs up.)

ASTRID: Anton! Anton!

(ANTON is preparing a p*stol.)

7. KENT’S OFFICE

(ASTRID speaks with her boss GILES KENT via video.)

ASTRID: Giles, that's just what I said. How could it be him?

KENT: It's a mistake, it must be.

ASTRID: Yes, I know, but he was definite. He's going to k*ll him!

KENT: I don't care. Get after them, stop them.

ASTRID: But Giles what can I do?

KENT: Look! I don't care what you do Astrid, but stop them!

(ASTRID gets up and walks angrily to the table her coat is draped over and swings it over her shoulder as she leaves.)

8. BEACH

(The DOCTOR is running up the beach toward VICTORIA, laughing, mostly back in his normal clothes. He pulls his other suspender over his shoulder and begins to put his coat on.)

DOCTOR: Oh, there's nothing like a dip to freshen you up.

JAMIE: (Runs toward them.) Hey, that's a funny looking boat.

DOCTOR: It's not a boat, it's a hovercraft.

JAMIE: Eh?

DOCTOR: It's a hovercraft. It floats on the air instead of the sea.

(He dries his face with his handkerchief.)

JAMIE: (Slaps the DOCTOR’s shoulder playfully.) Oh, yes, I see. I'm too old for fairy tales.

DOCTOR: (laughing) No it's true, Jamie.

(The hovercraft begins to growl as it approaches.)

VICTORIA: A terrifying thing. It's like a sea monster.

(The DOCTOR stuffs his handkerchief back in his pocket.)

JAMIE: (Points.) Oh, we'll soon get a closer look, it's coming nearer.

DOCTOR: (with less joviality) Oh yes. (Eyebrows knit with concern.) Yes . . . . I don't think I like the look of this. Let's go.

VICTORIA: Why, what's the matter?

DOCTOR: Come on, run.

JAMIE: Yeah, but-

DOCTOR: (Reaches to take VICTORIA’s hand.) Don't argue, run. 

(JAMIE and VICTORIA run behind the DOCTOR.)

DOCTOR: Come on. Come on!

(They sprint up the beach, the DOCTOR holding VICTORIA’s hand.)

9. HOVERCRAFT

(ROD drives while ANTON and CURLY hang onto the sides, sh**ting at the trio.)

10. DUNES

(The DOCTOR risks a look back as they sprint toward the small sand dunes. They run past a large, jagged piece of driftwood and through the patches of grass. The hovercraft continues to approach. The TARDIS team duck behind a grassy bank and peek over at the hovercraft. The hovercraft draws nearer. VICTORIA holds her hair out of her face.)

JAMIE: If only we had a g*n!

VICTORIA: Why do they want to harm us?

DOCTOR: Why indeed? Well, what now?

VICTORIA: Look Doctor, can't we go back to the TARDIS?

DOCTOR: No, we'd never make it. (Looks around.) There's not much cover here.

VICTORIA: Perhaps we've landed in a world of mad men.

DOCTOR: (Looks at VICTORIA.) They're human beings, if that's what you mean. Indulging their favourite past time - trying to destroy each other. 

(The three men climb out of the hovercraft and run in different directions.)

DOCTOR: Time we went, come on.

(They crouch to keep a low profile as they resume running. CURLY reaches the top of a bank and runs through the sand, g*n at the ready. The TARDIS trio reach another dip in the landscape and duck behind another small rise. JAMIE pushes the DOCTOR and VICTORIA’s heads down as CURLY approaches. JAMIE smiles. CURLY hasn’t seen them. He takes a step toward them. JAMIE cracks his knuckles. CURLY stands and looks around. As soon as he looks away, JAMIE leaps up with a battle cry.)

JAMIE: Creag an tuire!

(As CURLY spins to face him, JAMIE’s fist connects with his face and he falls. VICTORIA and the DOCTOR smile.)

VICTORIA: Oh, well done!

(The DOCTOR looks back, hearing a low humming sound. He pulls VICTORIA closer.)

DOCTOR: What's that?

(A helicopter flies overhead.)

11. DUNES

(ANTON and ROD pause the chase to watch the helicopter.)

ROD: I know those markings, that's Astrid's runabout. What's she doing here?

ANTON: Interfering. We've got to get to ‘em before she does.

(The chase continues.)

12. FLAT PATCH

(The DOCTOR, JAMIE, and VICTORIA run over a hill toward the helicopter as it lowers close to the ground. ANTON and ROD jump over a hill and chase the trio, g*n raised. The helicopter lands in a wide, flat space. JAMIE comes to a stop, uncertain about this new flying beastie.)

JAMIE: What is it, Doctor?

(VICTORIA and the DOCTOR stop beside him. VICTORIA has never seen anything like it either.)

VICTORIA: Oh, I'm frightened!

(ASTRID gets out of the helicopter.)

ASTRID: Over here! Run!

VICTORIA: I can't! I can't!

DOCTOR: You must. It's our only chance!

ASTRID: Hurry!

(The DOCTOR grabs JAMIE’s hand, who grabs VICTORIA’s hand, and they run.)

DOCTOR: Come on!

(They make it to the helicopter and JAMIE quickly climbs in one side. The DOCTOR helps VICTORIA up. ANTON runs past CURLY, motionless on the ground, but ROD stops to check on him.)

ANTON: Leave him!

(ROD follows ANTON. The DOCTOR runs to climb in the other side of the helicopter.)

(ANTON levels his w*apon at the helicopter and fires as it rises into the air. Grass blows around him in the wind of the blades as it quickly flies higher and higher. ROD joins in f*ring as they become small and distant. They run uselessly after the helicopter. It flies high in the air, blades humming.)

13. HELICOPTER

(The DOCTOR holds onto a handle and VICTORIA sits in JAMIE’s lap, her arms around his neck, as there is only room for three.)

DOCTOR: (nodding emphatically) A very timely and welcome rescue.

ASTRID: Don't speak to me for a moment, please.

(The DOCTOR respects her and stays quiet, instead studying the sticker on the back wall, which reads “AUSTRALASIAN ZONE. TYPE: Helicopter (Private). VALID UNTIL: 31st. Dec: 2018. CLASS REG: NO: L 23 X.” Being that this episode aired in 1967, it is likely that this story is meant to be taking place in 2017, fifty years in the future. VICTORIA stares nervously at the ground. JAMIE pulls her arm down away from his face )

JAMIE: But what is this thing, Doctor?

DOCTOR: It's a helicopter, Jamie.

JAMIE: Eh?

DOCTOR: A chopper. You know, a whirlybird.

JAMIE: (to VICTORIA) He says it's a bird!

(VICTORIA is too frightened by their suspension in the air to care.)

DOCTOR: No, no, no, it's a- it’s a primitive form of flying machine.

(JAMIE mouths understanding.)

VICTORIA: (nervously) Well at least we're safe now, aren't we?

ASTRID: (with a straight face) Depends on what you mean by being safe. They've sh*t a hole in the fuel t*nk. We might blow up any minute.

(The DOCTOR, JAMIE, and VICTORIA react with horror. JAMIE and VICTORIA hold onto each other more tightly.)

14. BEACH

(ANTON runs back to the hovercraft and climbs on the back to wait for ROD, assisting CURLY, to climb in. ANTON slips in and closes the door. The hovercraft raises slightly off the ground as its engine starts up and curves around to follow the helicopter.)

15. HELICOPTER

(The atmosphere in the helicopter is tense and no one is speaking.)

16. BEACH

(The hovercraft floats over the water.)

17. HELICOPTER

(Still no one is speaking in the helicopter. It flies over a field with a broken down fence.)

ASTRID: Here we go.

(The helicopter gently touches down. The DOCTOR quickly gets out, as do JAMIE and VICTORIA. ASTRID swings her leg over the control stick and holds her shoulder as she climbs out.)

18. OUTSIDE BUNGALOW

(ASTRID marches toward the house, but the DOCTOR stops her.)

DOCTOR: Wait, you're hurt!

(He looks at her arm and she has blood on her fingers.)

ASTRID: It's nothing. We're lucky to be still alive.

(JAMIE and VICTORIA walk past them to the door. The DOCTOR catches ASTRID as she begins to faint.)

DOCTOR: Jamie, give her a hand.

(JAMIE quickly turns to help her up onto the porch.)

19. BUNGALOW

(VICTORIA opens the door and JAMIE and the DOCTOR help ASTRID inside. The Bungalow is comfortably furnished.)

DOCTOR: Come along inside. (Clears throat.)

ASTRID: I'm all right.

(She walks by herself, but the DOCTOR and JAMIE still try to fawn over her and she looks frustrated at them. The DOCTOR and JAMIE help her out of her coat.)

DOCTOR: Now let's have a look at it. You're not, and please don't argue. Victoria, bring some warm water will you.

VICTORIA: Well where's the kitchen?

ASTRID: Through the arch.

(VICTORIA leaves.)

ASTRID: There's a medical kit in the bathroom, through there. (Nods in the direction.)

DOCTOR: Go and fetch it, will you Jamie.

JAMIE: Right.

(He takes the coat as he leaves.)

DOCTOR: Come and sit down.

(She walks to the couch, still holding her arm.)

ASTRID: It's nothing. It's just a scratch.

DOCTOR: We'll see.

(They sit down together and the DOCTOR examines the wound.)

DOCTOR: Oh, yes . . . .

(ASTRID suddenly moves slightly, realizing she has no reason to trust him, and he makes a slight noise of surprise, but continues examining.)

ASTRID: Who are you?

DOCTOR: (Glances up at her.) You mean you don't know?

ASTRID: No, why should I?

DOCTOR: Well you went to such a great deal of trouble to save us.

(JAMIE comes through the door with the kit.)

DOCTOR: Ah, there we are. Thank you, Jamie.

(He hands it to the DOCTOR, who opens it and sets it on the table.)

ASTRID: Do you know how to use those things?

(The DOCTOR pulls out a few things.)

JAMIE: Oh, don't worry, the Doctor will fix you up just fine.

(VICTORIA calls for JAMIE while he is still speaking and he leaves to see what she wants.)

ASTRID: Oh, you're a Doctor?

DOCTOR: (Studies a roll of gauze.) Well not of any medical significance.

ASTRID: Doctor of law? Philosophy?

DOCTOR: (Smiles at her mischievously.) Which law? Whose philosophies, eh?

ASTRID: I see. You're determined to be mysterious.

DOCTOR: Am I? (Opens a bottle and examines it before putting it on his hands.)

ASTRID: Um, Doctor of science?

DOCTOR: Septic spray. That should be all right. (Sprays a stream onto each hand.)

ASTRID: (jokingly) A Doctor of divinity then?

DOCTOR: You'll run out of Doctors in a minute. (Pulls out a cotton ball and turns to ASTRID.) Ah. You haven't told us your name yet.

ASTRID: Astrid Ferrier.

(VICTORIA returns with a bowl of water on a tray and JAMIE behind her.)

DOCTOR: Ah, Miss Ferrier, this is Victoria and this is Jamie. 

(VICTORIA puts the tray on the table and JAMIE waves hello with a towel. The DOCTOR reaches to dip the cotton ball in the water.)

DOCTOR: Now this won't take a minute . . . just want to clean it off . . . be as gentle as I can.

(The DOCTOR holds the torn fabric out of the way and gently wipes the wound. He continues to work as he speaks.)

DOCTOR: There we are . . . . Who are these men? Why are they so determined to k*ll us?

ASTRID: k*ll you. They hate you.

(The DOCTOR lifts his head with an innocent look on his face.)

DOCTOR: Me? I'm the nicest possible person.

ASTRID: (Sighs.) Or at least I should say they hate the person that they think you are. Passionately and completely.

VICTORIA: Can't we tell them they've made a mistake?

ASTRID: There wouldn't be time.

(The DOCTOR opens something with two snapping sounds. ASTRID helps him place a piece of gauze over her wound.)

DOCTOR: They seem remarkably dedicated.

ASTRID: They are.

DOCTOR: There.

(The DOCTOR finishes dressing ASTRID's wound and clasps his hands.)

DOCTOR: (pleasantly) Tell me, Miss Ferrier, do you hate me?

ASTRID: Far from it. To me you’re the most wonderful and marvelous man that's ever dropped out of the skies. 

(The DOCTOR takes a deep breath, smiling broadly.)

ASTRID: Will you do something for me?

DOCTOR: (without hesitation) Anything, anything at all.

ASTRID: It will probably cost you your life!

(The smile immediately drops off the DOCTOR's face.)

ASTRID: Oh, but it would be worth it.

DOCTOR: Oh that's- that's comforting anyway, er . . . . (Squints.) What is it you want me to do?

ASTRID: Let me take you to the man I work for, Giles Kent. He'll explain everything you want to know.

(The DOCTOR looks skeptical before a smile appears on his face.)

DOCTOR: I don't think so, Miss Ferrier. No, I'm sorry. (Gets up and clears throat.) 

(ASTRID looks away in frustration, then stands up. JAMIE helps her into her coat.)

JAMIE: Um, can we not just listen, Doctor? There's no harm in that.

DOCTOR: There's a great deal of harm in it. You don't suppose Miss Ferrier saved our skins for our sakes, do you? Now what is it you want us for?

ASTRID: You resemble very closely a man who's determined to be dictator of the world. A man who'll stop at nothing.

VICTORIA: A dictator? Like Napoleon?

DOCTOR: Who is he?

ASTRID: Salamander.

DOCTOR: Salamander?

ASTRID: I know it's surprising. Let me take you to Giles Kent.

(The hovercraft noise rises in the background. The DOCTOR touches his chin, considering.)

VICTORIA: Oh you're not going to agree?

(The DOCTOR turns to her, then looks up with concern, hearing the hovercraft’s buzzing. Everyone looks out the window. The hovercraft stops in front of the helicopter and the three men climb out. One runs for the front door while the other two slowly approach the large window.)

ASTRID: The back door! Hurry!

(The DOCTOR takes his companions’ hands to run, but stops at the sound of the back door being smashed down.)

DOCTOR: It's too late!

ASTRID: In there!

(They run through the bathroom door while ASTRID ducks behind the couch. ROD approaches, g*n raised, but doesn’t see her. Warily the g*n enters the room. He cautiously searches the room until ASTRID suddenly jumps up and throws him down.)

ASTRID: Run for it!

(The DOCTOR and VICTORIA run through the arch, but JAMIE stops to beckon ASTRID.)

JAMIE: Come on!

(ROD stands, but the two men outside see the movement inside and f*re. ROD tenses in shock and collapses. JAMIE grabs ASTRID’s hand and runs.)

JAMIE: Miss Ferrier, come on!

(ANTON runs through the door and immediately spots ROD. He bends down  and looks at ROD’s lifeless body as CURLY runs in. ANTON lets go of ROD, glaring silently at CURLY, who is staring in horror at the body of his friend.)

CURLY: But I . . . . He was framed against the window. I saw him, he was trying to get out!

(ANTON grabs him and shoves him toward the arch.)

ANTON: (growls) No time now, they'll get away!

(CURLY runs into the next room and stops, looking out the window. VICTORIA, JAMIE, the DOCTOR, and ASTRID run down the path.)

CURLY: There they are!

(CURLY fires, shattering the window, but ANTON has joined him and grabs his shoulder.)

ANTON: Wait! If we can get up in the air above them, we can finish this, now let's get to that helicopter!

(They run out the front.)

20. OUTSIDE

(The four fugitives find a dip in the ground by a fallen log covered in dried grass, with some pine branches for cover overhead.)

21. HELICOPTER

(ANTON and CURLY quickly climb into the helicopter.)

22. OUTSIDE

(They all lift their heads, realizing with horror what is going to happen.)

ASTRID: The helicopter.

23. HELICOPTER

(The helicopter rises into the air.)

24. OUTSIDE

(ASTRID watches, a grave look on her face.)

ASTRID: It'll blow up.

25. HELICOPTER

(The helicopter cabin explodes in flames.)

26. OUTSIDE

(Everyone ducks their heads down except the DOCTOR, who raises his hands to cover his ears.)

27. KENT'S OFFICE

(KENT stares at something, with a bit of disbelief and a bit of amazement.) 

KENT: Incredible.

(The DOCTOR stands apart from JAMIE and VICTORIA. KENT walks a circle around him, staring at him. The DOCTOR watches him with a face which is saying "Just what is going on?")

KENT: Absolutely incredible.

DOCTOR: (annoyed) I'm not a specimen in a glass bowl, you know.

KENT: Ah, I'm sorry. Do sit down.

DOCTOR: Oh, thank you. (Sits down.) 

KENT: (Still staring.) It's just so astonishing. You are Salamander?

ASTRID: Do you see what I mean?

KENT: But surely you know how alike you are? After all, Salamander is a world figure.

(JAMIE and VICTORIA move behind the DOCTOR to support him.)

DOCTOR: (breathing nervously) Well- well my friends and I, we've- we’ve been out of touch, er . . . with civilisation for a while. We're- er, we’re visitors so to speak, um. On ice shall we say.

(KENT glances at JAMIE and VICTORIA, but quickly turns his eyes back to the DOCTOR.)

KENT: I see. Where shall I start?

DOCTOR: At the beginning please. (Looks at his companions.) We've been subjected to a number of att*cks because I look like this Salamander of yours.

(JAMIE and VICTORIA cross their arms.)

KENT: I'm not surprised. (Walks around behind the desk.) I'll show you why. (Holds up a disk and places it in its compartment.) I have a video wire of Salamander, addressing the United Zones Conference on World Food.

(He flips some switches and the video appears on the screen with a reporter’s voiceover. As the reporter speaks, the camera pans over a large, square building with people flocking up and down the steps.)

REPORTER: And meanwhile, over at the United Zones General Assembly, from all over the world delegates are flocking in, eager to hear the latest report from Leader Salamander.

(A man appears behind a podium with two microphones pointed toward him. He is the DOCTOR, but yet he isn't. The black hair is neatly gelled down and instead of the black frock-coat, he is wearing a perfectly tailored, fashion-forward outfit. He speaks in a Mexican accent and his eyebrows and mouth are fairly still as he speaks, in sharp contrast to the DOCTOR’s animated expressions.)

SALAMANDER: The progress, er, Mr. President, of the Sun Conservation establishment at Kanowa, in the Australasian Zone . . .

(JAMIE and VICTORIA speak in shock at the same time, while the DOCTOR waves his hands, trying to shush them.)

SALAMANDER: . . . is, I'm delighted to report, highly satisfactory.

(Applause.)

SALAMANDER: (Leans over the podium.) But we cannot yet guarantee good summer holidays for all.

(Laughter.)

SALAMANDER: (Stands tall.) However, we have now in orbit the Mark VII Sun Catcher . . .

(ASTRID tries to hold back a smile as she glances at the shocked faces of the TARDIS crew.)

SALAMANDER: . . . and already we have been able to concentrate the sun's rays into much needed areas. The great Canadian wheat plains are safe.

(Applause. The DOCTOR stands and walks closer to the screen, face-to-face with his doppleganger.)

SALAMANDER: (Leans over the podium and speaks more softly.) And now, Mr President: Ukraine - the grain field of the planet . . .

(The DOCTOR raises his eyebrows, still shocked but studying and documenting every detail with his Time Lord brain.)

SALAMANDER: . . . an unfortunate area between Bucava and Kirovograd devastated by the elements two short years ago. What have I got to say to you about that? (Straightens and raises voice.) I can tell you that on both banks of the Dnieper river the corn is ripening in the sun! And ten-thousand robot harvesters are moving down to gather in fifty million tons of flour!

(More applause. The DOCTOR glances back at JAMIE and VICTORIA. KENT sits behind his desk and ASTRID stands in front of the screen as the video ends. The DOCTOR returns to his seat.)

VICTORIA: There's nothing there to say he's a bad man.

DOCTOR: I quite agree, Victoria. He seems to be a public benefactor. Quite a speaker too and remarkably handsome, didn't you think so Jamie?

(JAMIE pushes his shoulder.)

KENT: (Hands folded on the desk.) He's one of the most popular men on the planet. Many people call him the shopkeeper of the world. The saviour, in fact, some of them.

JAMIE: Well what's he saved the world from?

ASTRID: Starvation - too many people, too little food.

KENT: Until Salamander invented his Sun Store. But surely you've heard? You must know.

DOCTOR: Oh yes, well of course we've heard something.

KENT: The Sun Store collects the rays from the sun and stores them in concentrated form.

JAMIE: Oh, like the ioniser, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Yes, a rather different principle I think, Jamie.

VICTORIA: Well never mind how it works! What's it for?

KENT: Salamander can force-grow three, sometimes four, crops in one summer.

JAMIE: Well why do these men want to k*ll him? I mean, one minute you say he's saving the world, the next-

KENT: For his own ends! Step by step he's taking control of this planet.

(The DOCTOR stands and walks to KENT.)

DOCTOR: (Points.) You have proof of this?

KENT: Some, yes. I was once a high official in the World Zone Authority - Deputy Security Leader for North Africa and Europe - but Salamander discredited and ruined me, because he realized I was beginning to get suspicious.

DOCTOR: But you could be making up stories about Salamander! Out of revenge.

KENT: (Nods and turns away.) Yes, I suppose so. Then you can judge for yourself. 

(He picks up a cube of some kind and puts it in a compartment while the DOCTOR watches. He presses some buttons.)

KENT: You remember Michael Assevski - he was Controller of the Eastern European Zone?

(The DOCTOR looks at the screen, which shows a picture of the man in question.)

KENT: He was drowned at sea a mile from shore. 

(The DOCTOR’s expression doesn’t change. The screen shows another man, who looks frightened and is holding his hand up to the camera.)

KENT: Hockingham, m*rder! All of them were seen with Salamander, or a man known as his deputy, shortly before their deaths.

(The DOCTOR listens, hands folded.)

ASTRID: All of them were replaced by men known to be in Salamander's power.

DOCTOR: (Quickly points.) Known by who?

KENT: By me, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Well why don't you tell the authorities, the police or whatever?

KENT: Because I'm discredited, don't you see? Because Salamander is so popular, and also because the man that took my place, a man named Donald Bruce, has since risen to become overall security chief.

DOCTOR: Surely there is someone you can take your story to?

KENT: Ah yes, Helvig believed me. So did Assevski, and they're d*ad. However, there is one other man, a man named Alexander Denes, but none of them will do anything until it's too late!

VICTORIA: I'm surprised. 

(Everyone looks at her and she seems surprised to suddenly be in the spotlight.)

VICTORIA: Well if Salamander is everything you say he is, then why hasn't he tried to . . . .

KENT: Dispose of me?

VICTORIA: Yes.

KENT: Well he has, but he's afraid. You see, the testimony of a d*ad man still holds legal weight.

DOCTOR: Oh, I see. (to his companions) Well, it seems we have a problem on our hands whether to believe Mr Kent or not.

KENT: Well there is one way that you can find out for yourselves.

DOCTOR: Oh, how?

ASTRID: Impersonate Salamander.

DOCTOR: (frustrated) Yes, I thought that's what we were leading up to.

JAMIE: (Hands on hips.) Well I must admit, Doctor, you do look like him.

VICTORIA: (Nods.) Exactly like him.

DOCTOR: Yes, there's more to it than that. What about the voice?

ASTRID: Well it's nearly the same pitch, only the accent.

DOCTOR: Only the accent?! My dear young lady! (Takes a deep breath as he steps away.) Oh, dear! (He blows and his mouth goes crooked.) Now what was it he said . . . . (Speaks in an accent, rolling his R’s.) We still cannot guarantee good summer holidays for all, no . . . . Guarantee, no, no, no . . . . (Changes to a throaty R.) Guaran- guarantee. (normal voice) You see it's very difficult. Hmm, of course I- I was always interested in phonetics. (accent) Holidays . . . summer . . . summer . . . . (normal voice) He must have come from Mexico, Quintana Roo or Yucatan or somewhere . . . . (Walks to JAMIE and VICTORIA.)

KENT: That's incredible, Doctor, he was born at Merida, state capital of Yucatan.

DOCTOR: (Waving his finger.) Yes, there are other very strong influences though. Oh, I could do it in time. But what if I did it, what then?

KENT: (Walks around his desk.) You could walk into Salamander's research station at Kanowa, find out how he's getting control of the separate World Zones, and then bring out absolute proof! (Crosses arms.) 

(The communicator on his desk buzzes. The DOCTOR looks at JAMIE, who avoids eye contact. KENT picks up the phone and speaks into it.)

KENT: Yes. I see.

(He puts the phone down and turns to the DOCTOR, crossing his arms again.)

KENT: (smugly) How long did you say it would take you to master Salamander's accent?

DOCTOR: I didn't. It would take three weeks, perhaps four.

KENT: Well while we've been talking, the Security Chief I told you about, Donald Bruce, has since cordoned off this entire area.

(The DOCTOR reacts with horror and backs behind JAMIE and VICTORIA for protection.)

KENT: He's coming here himself. Now! (Smiles.) I'd say you've got about two minutes, Doctor.

DOCTOR: (furious) But that's out of the question!

KENT: You know what he'll do as soon as he sees you, a man who resembles Salamander so closely?

(JAMIE, VICTORIA, and the DOCTOR shout at the same time.)

KENT: Will you please listen! You'll be under arrest for impersonation as soon as he sees you. I mean it.

DOCTOR: (nervously) But isn't there another way out of this?

KENT: Only one - be Salamander.

(The DOCTOR breathes heavily, horrified.)

VICTORIA: But the clothes!

DOCTOR: (Points with both hands, relieved.) Yes.

KENT: (Walks to a cupboard.) There are some in here. A little less eccentric, but do the best you can. (Opens the cupboard.)

DOCTOR: (panicking) I won't! I can't!

KENT: Your friends, Doctor, do you want them to suffer? Because they will, you know.

(KENT grabs the DOCTOR by his arms and pulls him away from JAMIE and VICTORIA.)

DOCTOR: No, wait a minute! Why is a man like Bruce coming here?

(KENT pushes him toward the cupboard with a hand on his chest.)

DOCTOR: Don't push me!

KENT: There isn't time.

DOCTOR: (Pointing violently.) You sent for him, didn't you? You tipped him off!

KENT: I couldn't miss an opportunity like this, now please come on.

(KENT forces the DOCTOR, shouting in protest, into the cupboard and closes the door. He quickly goes behind his desk)

ASTRID: (angrily) Giles, for heaven's sake, what have you done? It's far too risky!

(The room quiets as footsteps approach outside the door. The door bursts open to reveal a guard with a g*n. JAMIE and VICTORIA back away. The guard stands aside and a large man wearing large glasses strides into the room.)

BRUCE: Hello Kent. Doing some recruiting are you? (Looks at JAMIE and VICTORIA.) A bit young for K*llers, aren't they?

VICTORIA: What do you mean?

KENT: All right, what do you mean by stepping in here like this?

BRUCE: Anytime, Kent. (Walks toward him with a thr*at cane.) I've got the right and you know it. Anytime I like.

KENT: (Sits.) All right, what do you want?

BRUCE: That's better, you're ex-security, you know the way it's got to go. We might as well be nice and civil about it, mightn't we? (Points at ASTRID with his cane.) That bungalow in Cedar District. In your name, right?

ASTRID: (nonchalantly) Why?

BRUCE: (Approaches.) Do I have to tell you? There's been an awful nasty mess out there. Someone has got himself sh*t in your living room.

(ASTRID refuses to respond. BRUCE spins to point at VICTORIA and JAMIE with his cane.)

BRUCE: And who are you two?

JAMIE: (rapidly) Jamie McCrimmon.

BRUCE: And?

JAMIE: (rapidly) Victoria Waterfield.

BRUCE: (to VICTORIA) What's the matter, can't you speak?

VICTORIA: (Looking straight at BRUCE.) Don't shout at me.

BRUCE: Oho! Very good, the outraged public citizen. (to KENT) Do they know who I am?

KENT: Yes they do.

BRUCE: A pity, I like to hear you say it. Now listen to this, all of you. One of your (pointing at KENT) men was m*rder in a bungalow rented to you (pointing at ASTRID). The remains of two others were found in what was left of a helicopter. (pointing at ASTRID) You were in that bungalow at the time. And there were three other people with you, two youngsters (pointing at JAMIE and VICTORIA) and a man. Right?

(Nobody says a word.)

BRUCE: Now, there was another man, wasn't there? So we'll deal with that first? Where is he?

(BRUCE looks at everyone in turn. Nobody speaks. He points at his guard, who goes and kicks open the cupboard door. The DOCTOR strides in, wearing a black turtleneck and a scowl, his hair neatly combed. He walks slowly toward BRUCE. He speaks with an accent and a straight face.)

DOCTOR: Why hello Bruce. What are you doing here, huh?

(BRUCE stares at him, shocked.)
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who", "episode": "05x17 - The Enemy of the World - part 1"}