Holt: Attention, everyone,

a b*mb was just found on a bus  

in Downtown Brooklyn.  

Jake: Oh, my God, a b*mb on a bus.  

It's a "Speed"?

I get to work a "Speed"?  

Holt: That sentence is nonsensical.  

One can work with speed,  

but one certainly cannot work a speed.  

Jake: "Speed" is a movie.

I won't let you ruin this!  

Boyle: Really never seen "Speed," sir?   

Keanu Reeves, Sandy Bullock,   

Jeff Daniels at the height

of his sexual powers?   

Jake: Can we please just focus!   

The b*mb could go off at any moment.   

Holt: Actually, it can't.

It's already been defused.   

Jake: Oh, well, there's still

a b*mb on the loose.   

You can't ruin this!   

All right, tell me about the bus.   

Was it headed to the courthouse?   

Terry: It wasn't an MTA bus. It was that.   

A "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" tour bus.   

Jake: No, you're not ruining this!   

Has anyone heard from the b*mb?   

Has he made any demands?   

Feingold: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Special Agent Feingold, FBI.   

This is our case.

You're not a part of it.   

Jake: Oh, man! You ruined it.   

[upbeat music] 

♪ 

Jake: Agent Feingold, our guys

were on the scene first.   

We're not gonna let you take the case.   

Tell him, sir.   

Holt: We're letting you take the case.   

Jake: What? But I said that so cool!   

Holt: They're the feds.

They have jurisdiction.   

Agent Feingold, call me

if you need anything.   

Feingold: Sorry, guy,

guess you're just gonna have   

- to let the big boys handle it.

Jake: Please just let us help you.   

This is an all-hands-on-deck situation.   

I could be a good resource.

Here, watch this.   

- What's up, Officer Marzipan?

Marzipan: Oh, hey.   

Jake: You're gonna want

that kind of shorthand   

with Marzipan if you

want to catch this guy.   

Feingold: We don't need all hands on deck.   

The b*mb was rigged

with a chintzy $ 4 watch   

- set to explode at 12 : 00  a.m.

Jake: Midnight?   

But there wouldn't be anybody on it.   

Feingold: Yeah, the idiot clearly meant

to set it for noon.   

We're not dealing

with a mastermind here.   

I'm sure there's prints

all over the place   

Jake: I don't know... I've just got

a gut feeling   

- there's more to this.

Feingold: Oh, a gut feeling?   

You know what your gut tells

you to do most of the time?   

Take a dump.   

And you just took a big one

all over yourself.   

Jake: Okay, well, I don't have

a comeback for that,   

so I'm just gonna go.   

[sniffs] Agent Feingold.   

Terry: Scully, it's our favorite time of year.   

Cagney and Lacey's

annual school candy drive!   

I took the liberty of duplicating

your order from last year.   

Simply sign at the X,

and I'll get it placed for you.   

Scully: Oh, about that, I don't know   

if I'm gonna buy anything

from you this year.   

Terry: What?   

But we've been in business

together since pre-K.   

Scully: I know, but there's someone else.   

Terry: Someone else?   

Scully: It's not you. It's me.   

My taste in candy changed.   

Terry: Look, everyone goes

through rough patches,   

but we can't give up.   

You owe it to Cagney and Lacey.   

Scully: Please don't bring the kids into this.   

Terry: The kids are a part of it

whether you like it or not.   

Who are you buying from? Tell me, now!   

Boyle: The other man is me.   

Nikolaj is selling candy

this year, too.   

Terry:?You're cheating on me with Boyle?   

Frank: Oh, there she is, my archnemesis.   

Amy: You're a cop, O'Sullivan.   

Shouldn't your archnemesis

be a criminal?   

Frank: No.

Amy: Okay, what do you want?   

Frank: Well, I came here to reach a truce   

with you over your pilot

program that persecutes   

the uniformed officers in my union.   

Amy: Its aim is to reduce

instances in which armed cops   

are needlessly interacting

with civilians.   

It could save lives and restore

trust with the community.   

Frank: That's persecution, plain and simple.   

But I don't want to fight with you.   

I'd rather be civilized

and reach some common ground   

- over a drink.

Amy: It's the middle of the day.   

Frank: Well, that's how business

gets done in the real world.   

Amy: Look, I'm not changing

the pilot program.   

Frank: Okay, have it your way,   

but I got to say,

you're going to be sorry.   

Amy: Are you thr*at me?   

Frank: No, I'm informing you

that I hold a lot of power,    

and unless you're willing

to play ball with me,    

I will wield said power against you.    

Again, not a thr*at,    

but go ahead

and change your mind, or else.    

All the best.    

Rosa: So you lost a "Speed." That sucks.    

At least you didn't have

a "Sister Act" taken from you.    

Holt: Bracco confessed.    

The undercover operation is over.    

Rosa: But I just got a spot in the choir.    

Jake: Wait, is that the real reason

you left the force?    

Rosa: It didn't help.

Jake: Right.    

Look, I don't care

that I lost a "Speed."    

I care that the FBI is not

taking the case seriously.    

They think the b*mb

is just some idiot,    

but what if he's not an idiot?    

What if he wanted it

to go off at midnight?    

Oh, my God.    

He wanted it to go off at midnight.    

Rosa: Why? Wouldn't it just be    

an empty parking lot with nobody in it?    

Jake:,Yeah, but there could be

a target there,    

which he would try to h*t again.    

There's gonna be a second b*mb,

just like in "Speed"!    

[gasps] I've got a "Speed" again!    

Rosa; I thought you said you didn't

care about it being a "Speed."    

Jake: Of course, I care about it

being a "Speed"!    

That's all I care about!

I've got to go!    

Rosa: You owe me money for this.

Jake: Good one, Rosa!    

[mysterious music] 

♪ 

Jake:Hi.

 Amy:  Hey. 

I just got home. Where are you?    

Jake: Sorry, I'm checking out the lot    

where the bus parks at night.    

Amy: Ugh, but Holt told you not to.    

He's gonna be pissed when he finds out.    

Jake: Not when I bust the b*mb. 

Marzipan gave me the lot's address.    

He's actually helping me out    

because of our intimate shorthand.    

Amy: You know,

Marzipan's kind of a bad dude.    

We're desperately trying to f*re him.    

Jake: No, I did not know that!    

Why didn't anyone tell me that    

before I pretended

to be friends with him?    

Well, looky here.    

Amy: What?

Jake: Guess what's next to the lot.    

An IRS building.

That has to be the target.    

Amy: Jake, you should call the feds.    

Jake: No, they won't even care.

I need more proof.    

♪ 

Jake: I got to call you back. Hey.    

- Hey.

Jake: NYPD.    

Mind if I ask you

a couple of questions?    

Wait, no, stop! Ugh.    

[suspenseful music] 

♪ 

Jake: Hey, there.    

Boyle: Uh-oh, I know that strut.    

Little hip swing,

playful butt bounce...    

Somebody made a collar!    

Jake: Not loving you talking

about my butt bounce,    

but, also, hell, yeah,

someone collared a big dog!    

Woof, woof!    

Holt: Peralta, you made an arrest

in the bus b*mb?    

Jake: Yes, look, I know

that I was told to back off,    

but something just didn't sit right,    

so I went back up there,

and I caught the guy.    

He was snooping around.

Now, he's not talking yet...    

Holt; Because he didn't do it.

Jake: What?    

Holt: The feds already solved the case.    

There were prints on the b*mb,    

which led to a suspect

who confessed immediately.    

Jake: Well, why didn't anyone tell me that?    

Holt: 'Cause they didn't have to

because it's not your case.    

Jake: So I arrested an innocent person?    

Holt: Yes.    

Jake: Oh...    

that's not okay.    

Uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool,    

uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool, uncool.    

Holt: Are you saying cool or uncool?    

Jake: Uncool. It's just hard to say

it fast, but this is bad!    

Holt: Peralta, we need to talk.

Jake: I know.    

You're not mad.

You're just disappointed.    

Holt: I'm actually both mad and disappointed.    

Jake: What? You can't be both!    

You are either Mad Dad

or Sad Dad... pick a lane.    

All right, look, I know that

I brought in the wrong guy,    

but I'm telling you,

something doesn't add up,    

and for what it's worth,

I made sure he was let out    

as soon as I knew what was going on.    

Holt: He was in processing for ten hours,    

which made him late for work,

which meant he got fired.    

He's suing you and the department    

for wrongful arrest.    

I'm gonna have to suspend you.    

Jake: Ugh, okay, this is really bad,    

- and I'm sor...

Frank: Stop talking.    

What's going on here?    

Were you about to say the S word?    

Jake: The S word? "Sorry"?    

Frank: Oh, good God,

don't say it out loud, man!    

Holt: Why are you here, O'Sullivan?    

Peralta isn't even

in the patrolman's union.    

Frank: I'm here to protect Marzipan.    

He and Peralta

worked very closely together    

- on this one.

Holt: Seriously, Peralta, Marzipan?    

With all the open I.A.

investigations against him?    

Jake: I've met him, like, one time.    

I don't even know his first name.    

Frank: His name is David. David Duke Marzipan.    

Jake: David Duke Marzipan?    

Hey, don't you go profiling him    

for what he changed his name to.    

You can't judge a book by its cover.    

Jake: You can if it's written by David Duke.    

Holt: Look, Peralta made a mistake...    

Frank: Holy crap, you didn't use

the M word, did you?    

Jake: No.

Frank: Oh, thank God.    

Because the M word

is just about the worst thing    

you can say if you're a cop.    

Besides, the real point here is,    

what was the perp doing    

snooping around a bus lot at night?    

Holt: The victim cuts through that lot    

on his way home when it's open,    

and it was open because

Peralta picked the lock.    

Frank: What a bunch of bunk.    

Why'd the perp run away unless

he was guilty of something?    

Holt: Because he was understandably scared    

of interacting with a cop.    

Frank: I see... well, that excuse hasn't worked    

in the last  fifteen  cases against Marzipan,    

and I don't think it'll work now.    

Jake: Fifteen ?    

Frank: Peralta, I can make

all of this disappear.    

That's what the police union does.    

But you got to play ball with me, son.

What do you say?    

Jake: Sir, can I speak with you

in private, please?    

I just had an epiphany.    

Holt: That you're fallible

and you made an M word.    

Jake: Absolutely not.

This whole thing is a setup!    

Boyle: ♪ Oh, who could take a sunrise ♪    

♪ Sprinkle it with dew ♪ [laughs]    

♪ Cover it in chocolate ♪    

♪ And a miracle or two? ♪    

♪ The candy man can ♪    

Terry:,Wow, so you're just gonna

do your business    

all out in the open

like some common candy ho?    

Boyle: You're just jealous.

Scully: Boyle, where's my candy?    

Boyle: What?

Scully: The box is full of sand.    

Or maybe it's sugar.

 [spits] Oh, it's not sugar.    

It's sand.

Is this some sort of sick joke?    

Boyle: There was candy in there earlier.    

- Maybe it fell out?

Scully: I don't want excuses, bitch!    

I want my candy!    

The vending machine is broken,    

and you're my only snack source.    

Terry: He doesn't have to be.    

I still have your purchase order.    

Boyle: You. You did this.    

Terry: Please, I would never do

something that childish,    

and you would know that if you

weren't a big, stinky dumb-dumb    

who smelled like butts.    

Jake: Okay, so here's what I'm thinking.    

The union set me up. Think about it.    

O'Sullivan told Amy if she

didn't drop her pilot program,    

"she'd be sorry," and now suddenly,    

I'm being thr*at with suspension?    

Holt: Sure, but he thr*at her, not you.    

Jake: We're married. We're a team.    

Amy: Really?    

What about when I wanted

to run a half marathon together    

and you told me to rot in hell?    

Jake: That was clearly a playful joke.    

Amy: So will you run

the half marathon with me?    

Jake: No, I would die!    

Look, O'Sullivan said he could

make my suspension go away    

if just "played ball."    

He's clearly trying to get me    

to lean on you to k*ll your program.    

Holt: This doesn't sound like a setup.    

O'Sullivan didn't make you

arrest an innocent man.    

Jake: Or did he? Think about it.    

Marzipan, who I never liked,

by the way,    

was the one who gave me

the address to the bus lot.    

I think he and O'Sullivan made sure    

there was a "suspect" there

for me to arrest.    

Holt: You think the victim was a plant?    

Jake: I didn't believe it either

until I checked the guy's file.    

Guess what he does for a living?    

Actor. Huh?    

- Come on, sir, you hate actors!

Holt: I don't hate actors.    

I hate colleges

that award diplomas for acting.    

Amy: I mean, I wouldn't put it

past O'Sullivan.    

He is desperate to k*ll

our reform program.    

Holt: True, he tried to blackmail me before.    

Frank: If you don't give me what I want,    

I will release proof

that you are a h*m*.    

Holt: I came out  thirty years ago.

Frank: Ah, you're impossible.    

Jake: So you agree it was a setup.

I have your unbridled support?    

Holt: My support is extremely bridled.    

You have circumstantial

evidence at best.    

Jake: All right, then I guess

we just have to prove it.    

Holt: Absolutely not.    

You can't investigate your accuser.    

It's retaliation.    

Jake: Which is why

the investigation will focus    

only on O'Sullivan and be led

by someone from the outside.    

A friend, a confidant, a...    

Holt: Diaz.

Jake: Yes.    

Damn it, you kind of stepped

on the dramatic entrance    

we had planned,

and you threw off our...    

Rosa: Me.

Jake: Timing.    

The point is Amy and Rosa

will head up the investigation,    

and the entrance worked perfectly.    

Holt: Interesting, you two are sure    

you want to be involved with this?    

Rosa: Investigating O'Sullivan?    

Yeah, that dude sucks.

He tried to blackmail me.    

Frank: If you don't stop harassing

my officers,    

I will release proof

that you are bisexual.    

Rosa: Already came out.

Frank; Oh, come on.    

You can't blackmail anyone anymore.    

Amy: Okay, so here's the plan.    

O'Sullivan likes to do deals

over drinks.    

So I invite him to Shaw's

and order us a couple beers. 

I nod along as he talks 

about how surprisingly cool his mom is. 

Order more beers. 

I also nod along as he talks 

about how horrible his ex-wife is. 

Order more beers. 

I also nod along as he kind of implies 

he wishes his wife was his mom. 

Frank: Nobody spoons like my mom.    

Amy: But I'm not the only one

who's one listening. 

O'Sullivan's a blowhard, 

so he just needs a little push. 

Get him drunk enough,

eventually he'll just come out 

and admit that he set Jake up. 

The plan is flawless. 

So there's one flaw with my plan.    

Rosa: O'Sullivan isn't even buzzed,

and you're totally hammered?    

Amy: I'm so hammered!    

Delivery guy: Pizza delivery for Jake Peralta.    

Jake: Oh, that's me.    

I didn't order a pizza, though.    

Someone must know

I've been having a hard day.    

Delivery guy: You've been served.

Jake: What? Come on!    

Hitchcock: Been there, brother.

What did you get served? 

Jake: Oh, you.    

I'm being sued for wrongful arrest.    

Hitchcock: No, I don't care about that.

I'm talking pizza toppings. 

The District Court

does a great pepperoni. 

Jake: You know what?

Why are you even talking to me?    

Scully's taking a nap.

What are you doing on there?    

Hitchcock: I miss my old role in the Nine-Nine... 

Hitchcock, the wise sage, 

always helping people

through their troubles. 

Jake: That was never your role.

Wait a minute.    

This address.    

The guy said he lived up by the bus lot    

and that's why he was cutting through,    

but according to this,    

his address

isn't anywhere near that lot.    

He lied. This is huge.    

I got to call Amy and Rosa.    

Amy: And that is why "Kristy and the Snobs"    

is the best

Baby-Sitters Club Book ever.    

Hey, we should go

fly-fishing sometimes.    

Rosa: That's never gonna happen.    

We need to sober you up

and get you back out there.    

Coffee and carbs usually work,    

so here's what we're gonna to do.    

Amy: Ow! Rosa! What about the carbs?    

Rosa: That was a misdirection.

Carbs never work.    

- Slapping's the only way.

Amy: Oh, I think it worked.    

And I just want to say, what makes    

"Kristy and the Snobs"

so good is the snobs.    

Their names are Tiffany and Shannon,    

and they laugh at Louie

even though he's going blind,    

- which is so sad.

Rosa: Okay.    

I'm calling Holt. This is a failure.    

Amy: No, wait, wait. I have an idea.    

Oh, I bet it's great.    

Okay, you know how guys

like O'Sullivan,    

they think we all look the same, right?    

So you dress as Amy. You take my place.    

And, oh, my God!

Is nine-drink Amy a genius?    

Rosa: That's never gonna work.    

You just need to sober up

and get back out there.    

- Oh, you're on the floor.

- [exhales deeply]    

Frank: What's going on here?

Rosa: Uh, nothing.    

Frank: Nothing?    

I distinctly remember you saying    

we were moving on to sh*ts.    

And yet you bring us more beers?    

You got to do a better job

than that, Santiago.    

Rosa: Right, right, I guess we'll

just have to sh**t these, then.    

Frank: Yes, we will!    

Terry: Sugar.    

[hums melody]    

♪ Oh, Scully, Scully ♪    

[hums melody]    

♪ You are my candy friend ♪    

Boyle: Boring! No costume change much?    

Scully: What the heck? This isn't my order.    

Terry: What, did they give you sour straws    

instead of sour ropes?

I specifically said...    

Scully: No, it's just apples!    

Terry, you sick son of a bitch.    

Terry: I didn't do it! Boyle must have!    

Boyle: I would never do that.    

This is just what happens

when you order candy    

from a candy child and not a candy man.    

Terry: I'll show you a candy man.    

Boyle: Hey, what the hell?    

Oh, you picked the wrong guy

to get in an apple fight with.    

Terry: Why is that?    

Boyle: Because I was MVP    

of my fast-pitch softball summer camp.    

Terry: Wow, I'm so scared...    

Oh!    

Ow.    

Jake: There you are.    

I found proof that this was a setup.    

Look, the victim lied

about his address.    

- Zip!

Holt: What's that?    

Jake: That's the sound

of your bridle unzipping.    

Unbridled support from earlier?    

Holt: You don't know

what a bridle is, do you?    

Jake: I do not. We're getting sidetracked.    

Once I realized he was lying,

I looked at his social media.    

He starts rehearsals for a rock musical    

in Florida on Monday.    

Holt: That tracks. Theater like

that belongs in the swamps.    

Jake: Well, yeah, obviously,

I can't disagree,    

but the point is

we're running out of time.    

I should tail him and figure out    

what he's up to before he skips town.    

Holt: You'll do no such thing.

We have a plan.    

Santiago and Diaz are with O'Sullivan.    

- They have it under control.

Jake: Are you sure?    

'Cause I keep calling them,

and they're not answering.    

Holt:?Have faith in them.

They're professionals.    

Rosa: I'm so drunk.    

He's had  fourteen beers,    

and he's not even slurring his words.    

Amy: Well, I feel better.    

I had some floor pretzels.

Let's switch places again.    

Rosa: Yes, two of us can outdrink

that son of a bitch.    

Frank: Here's to you, Santiago.

All the best, bottoms up.    

Whoa, Nelly!    

[upbeat music] 

♪ 

Frank: Here's to you.    

♪ 

[laughter] How about it?    

♪ 

Well, now, what the hell

am I looking at?    

BOTH: Nothing.    

Amy: Oops.    

You're drunk, and you're seeing double.    

Frank; Oh, give me a break.    

You can't really think I'm that stupid.    

Rosa: I mean, we've been switching places    

for the last two hours,

and you didn't notice, so...    

Frank: That's 'cause I don't look

at women's eyes    

when I'm talking to 'em.    

- Now, what's going on?

Amy: You set up my husband!    

You're using him to blackmail me    

into dropping police reform.    

We're getting you drunk

so you can admit it.    

Frank: I'm not blackmailing Jake.    

When I blackmail somebody,

you'll know it.    

I own my blackmailing.    

Amy: Then what did you mean

when you said I'd be sorry    

if I didn't drop police reform?    

Frank: I was talking about taking your snacks.    

Amy: Huh?

- Oh, come on.    

Frank: Who do you think

broke the vending machine    

that got Detective Flat Top

all riled up,    

stole Detective Little Guy's

candy shipment,    

and swapped out

Sergeant Muscle Guy's candy    

for seasonal fruit?    

Rosa: Your people.

Frank: Bingo.    

And it's driving your guys crazy.    

Now, if your precinct would

like to get their candy back.    

I'd be willing to negotiate.    

Amy: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.    

So when you told Jake you could

get him out of his suspension,    

that wasn't blackmail?    

Frank: If I am passionate about one thing,    

it's getting cops off

without punishment.    

How dare you turn that

into something dirty?    

Shame on the both of you.    

Amy: Oh, we got to call Jake.    

[soft dramatic music] 

Amy: Where is he?    

♪ 

[camera shutter clicks]    

Jake: Got ya.    

[telephone rings]    

Holt: This is Captain Holt.    

Amy: Oh, hello, Captain.

It's Amy Santiag-ago.    

Holt: Sergeant, are you drunk?

Amy: Oh, he thinks I'm drunk.    

- What do I do?

Rosa: Uh, British accent.    

Amy: Smart. That'll fool him.    

[Cockney accent] Yes, sir, quite drunk.    

w*nk*r, really.    

Holt: What did you learn?

Did O'Sullivan set up Peralta?    

Amy: No, he didn't. 

Me husband wasn't set up at all.    

He wasn't, but me big problem now    

is that me husband

can't be reached by me telly.    

Holt: Please stop talking like that.    

Amy: Okay.    

Holt: Peralta wanted to tail the victim.    

I forbade him,

but I bet he did it anyway.    

I'll text you the address.    

Amy: [normal voice] Oh.    

We got to stop Jake.    

Rosa: How? We're too drunk to drive.    

Amy: True, but we're not too drunk to pedal.    

[bell dinging]    

Amy: Jake, oh, thank God

we found you in time.    

Jake: We?

Amy: Me and Rosa, duh.    

Jake: Rosa's not with you.

Amy: Right.    

I lost her when she rode down

the stairs to the subway.    

[laughing] It was so funny!    

Jake: Okay, just shh,

'cause my guy is in there.    

Amy: By the way, I really like that hat.    

You look like a little narc.    

Jake: And you enjoy that?

Amy: Oh, yeah.    

Jake: Okay.

Amy: But that's not why I'm here.    

O'Sullivan didn't set you up.    

Jake: Wait, what? Are you sure?    

Amy: Yeah, all O'Sullivan did was

mess with the vending machine    

and Scully's candy.    

That was his blackmail.    

Jake: Okay. Wow, okay, that's bad.    

That guy's innocent,

and I arrested him,    

and now I'm tailing him.    

Amy: I know! Let's just go "herm"!    

Rosa: Jake! Jake!    

Hey, Jake, you're following

an innocent man!    

[rock music] 

[Amy gasps]    

Jake: Hey, man.    

What are you doing here?

What a weird coincidence.    

Amy: [Cockney accent] Do a British accent.    

_    

Boyle: Hey, Lieutenant,

I think we should talk.    

How you doing?    

- _

- Oh, no, I'm so sorry.    

Sir, I want to apologize.    

[muffled speech]    

Okay, I have no idea

what you're saying.    

Look, I know the union set us up,    

but we let it happen.    

Your friendship means the world to me,    

and I would hate for it to be destroyed    

by a competition to sell more candy.    

Terry: Me too.    

Hitchcock: You guys are selling candy?

There's nothing good here. 

Could one of you ship to Brazil? 

[both chuckling]    

Boyle: Oh! You sneaky son of a bitch!    

Holt: We're adding intimidation

to the charges against you.    

Jake: I know, you're both mad

and disappointed.    

Holt: I'm neither. I'm displeased.    

Jake: Is that worse?

Holt: Yes.    

Of my  sixteen  potential reactions,

only one is stronger,    

and you should be thankful

you've never seen me huffy.    

Jake: Well, you have every right to be.    

I know I messed up.    

I just never imagined myself as someone    

who would make a mistake like that,    

and then I just

made it worse, you know?    

Frank: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

what are you doing?    

Learning a lesson?    

You don't have any lessons to learn.    

You didn't do anything wrong.    

Holt: What do you want, O'Sullivan?

Frank: This is Mel Jenkins...    

City attorney in charge

of payoffs and bribes.    

Mel: Uh, not my title. I handle tort claims.    

Frank: Whatever. Mel and I just had

ourselves a little chat    

- over morning drinks.

Jake: More drinks?    

Frank: Relax, it was just

a couple of breakfast beers.    

So the department is going to settle    

without mitting any wrongdoing,    

and because the facts of the

case will remain unresolved,    

there will be no suspension

for Marzipan or Peralta    

Holt: How's that possible?    

Peralta arrested

and harassed an innocent man.    

Frank: Come on, now, these are cops.    

They got to make split-second decisions    

in life-or-death situations,

and they can't be expected    

to get that  100  % correct

every single time.    

Holt: This was not a life-or-death situation.    

Frank: Sure, but next time it might be.    

And how can this one

be expected to do his job    

when he knows that any

teeny-tiny lapse in judgment    

could end with you

branding him a dirty cop    

and ruining his life?    

Jake: Oh, I've never seen this face before.    

Wait, is that...    

Holt: Yes, he's made me huffy.    

Do you know what happens

when you refuse    

to punish cops for their mistakes,    

when police are treated

as a separate class    

of citizen above the law?    

It breeds a lack of trust

in the community,    

and that lack of trust

means people won't help us    

with our investigations or testify    

or even call us when they're in danger.    

It makes them more scared of us    

than of criminals and gangsters.    

It makes them run when we approach,    

even though they've done nothing wrong.    

It makes the people

see us as the enemy,    

which leads to more confrontation,    

more distrust.    

You wonder how Peralta can do his job    

when he's held accountable

for his actions?    

I wonder how any of us

can do our job if he's not.    

Frank: What a bunch of bunk.

The city's gonna settle.    

There are not gonna be any suspensions.    

- Take the win.

Jake: Wait.    

What if I admit I made

an error and apologize?    

Frank: He is speaking hypothetically.    

You'll notice he never used the S word    

and he never used the M word.    

Jake: I'm sorry. I made a mistake.    

Frank: Holy [bleep]!    

Let the record show    

that he didn't say anything specific.    

Jake: I arrested a man without

a sufficient probable cause    

in a case I was removed from.    

Frank: He has no idea what he's talking about.    

Jake: I then followed

my victim to his home...    

Frank: Now's a good time for us to leave.    

Jake: In an act that could only

be seen as police intimidation.    

Frank: La, la, la, la, la, la.    

Jake; I take full responsibility

for my mistake,    

and I'm willing to say

as much in a court of law.    

Frank: La, la, la, la, la, la.    

Jake: And what's more, I'm very, very sorry!    

Mel: Yeah, he has to be suspended.    

I'm sorry.    

Frank: Ah, don't you start.    

Jake: Wow.    

That was amazing. We b*at him.    

I can't believe it

actually worked out okay.    

Holt: You're suspended for five months.    

Jake: Right, I know.    

But I deserve it.    

And I learned a valuable lesson

from all this,    

so I'm counting it as a win.    

Holt: I get that, Peralta,

but things will be a lot better    

when a man doesn't have to lose his job    

for you to learn a lesson.    

Jake: Yeah, fair enough. Thank you, sir.    

It was crazy when you got huffy.    

Holt: I was so huffy.

Jake: I got scared.    

Holt: Wow.

Jake: Yeah.
{"type": "series", "show": "Brooklyn Nine-Nine", "episode": "08x06 - The Set Up"}