I'm glad you like it. 

I love it. 

what time is it?

Casey: Are you insane? Come back to bed.

Ilsa: And miss all the good sunlight?

Casey: Come on, Ilsa, it's not like the civil w*r is going to go anywhere.

Ilsa: Tempting.

But I have a deadline.

Casey; Yeah...

Why did I ever let myself get involved with a photo-journalist?

Ilsa: And how did I get myself mixed up with a-- what do you call yourself again?

Casey: An energy consultant.

Ilsa: What does that even mean?

Casey: It means I get to sleep in late.

Ilsa: Here's my offer, 

Casey: Yeah?

Ilsa: Mr. Energy Consultant.

Casey: Mm-hmm.

Ilsa: You stay in bed and preserve your precious energy.

And I'll be back before you know it.

Bye-bye, Sugar Bear.

Hostile customer; Did you hear a word I said?

Hello?

Do you speak English?

Parla usted Inglese?  Hello?

Casey: Yeah.

Hostile customer: Then why aren't you moving?

Because if you were listening, then you'd be walking to the register to get me my 300 bucks!

Casey: Sir, I repeat: I cannot offer you a refund without a valid receipt.

Hostile customer; You can't give me a refund, you won't give me an exchange.

What exactly are you capable of doing, Big Johnny?

You sad, impotent oaf?

Casey: I'm capable of stopping your heart...

Chuck: Hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey john, ??? problem here.

Let me guess, it's the auto-focus, right?

Hostile customer: Yeah.

Chuck: Happens all the time. It's a quick... quick, quick fix, and I can take care of it personally.

If you'll just leave your name and number at the Nerd Herd desk, I'll take care of it in a jiff, okay?

Hostile customer: Was that so hard?

Chuck: Thank you. Have a good day.

Just breathe, Casey, breathe.

Breathe... or growl.

Growling also works. Very good.

Very, very good.

Jeff: Hey.

You're not going to believe it.

Chuck: Oh, you got that server to work?

Jeff: I got Tara Reid's phone number.

Chuck: What have I told you about stalking "celebrities" online?

And, by the way, who doesn't have her phone number?

Is that the Grand Saville's main database?

Jeff: I can access every guest staying at L.A. 's swankiest hotel.

It's got it all: room numbers, credit cards, spank-per-view records...

Chuck:That's super, Jeff. Really good work.

I'll let the hotel know that their computer's ready.

Jeff: You're giving away the holy grail! Tara!

Chuck: Grand Saville, please don't sue us.

Dmitry Siljak-- known alias of black market arms dealer specializing in former Soviet...

Okay. Man, I'm going to have a headache tomorrow.

Ilsa Trinchina.

AP photographer, rumored lover of undercover NSA agent.

Whereabouts unknown.

Sugar Bear?

Sugar Bear's girlfriend's in town.

Casey, hey, hey, hey!

Wait up! wait up!

I just had the mother lode of all bad guy flashes.

Casey: Who are they?

Chuck: Mostly Russian.

All traveling under aliases, fake passports.

Casey; That means they're arms dealers, money launderers, black market smugglers...

Chuck: Yeah.

Apparently, they're all having a douche bag convention down at the Grand Saville.

Casey: I'll run it up the flagpole, see what command wants us to do.

Chuck: Uh... one more thing.

There was another name, one name that I flashed on actually, but I left it-- her-- off of the list.

Casey: What the hell are you talking about, Bartowski?

Chuck: Does the name Ilsa Trinchina mean anything to you...

Sugar Bear?

Casey: You say that name ever again and I will end you.

Nod if you understand.

Chuck: Casey... you're hurting the Intersect.

Chuck 112

Sarah : Hey.

Try this. It's the new breakfast corndog with country sausage and syrup wrapped in pancake.

Chuck: Thank you, but maybe a little bit later.

I have some serious business to discuss-- matter of national security.

Casey's ex-girlfriend is in town.

Sarah: What? How do you know?

Chuck: I flashed.

Her name is Ilsa Trinchina.

Super-hot, super-sexy and staying at the Grand Saville as we speak.

Sarah: Does Casey know?

Chuck: Oh, yeah. Almost ripped my head off; it must've been a pretty bad break-up.

You know for the longest time, I always imagined Casey was built like a Ken doll, you know, downstairs.

Sarah: I don't know what kind of woman would go for a guy like Casey.

Chuck: I was, uh, I was kind of hoping you'd help me find out.

Ilsa is a civilian.

She's a foreign national.

The Intersect has, like, nothing on her except for some love letters that now I'll never be able to scrub out of my brain.

Sarah: You want me to go behind Casey's back, reallocate CIA resources and violate this woman's privacy, so you can find out what their story is?

Tell me you're not curious.

Ellie: Hi.

Lester: Hi.

Ellie; I'm Ellie Bartowski. Chuck's sister.

Lester: Oh, yes, of course.

I recognize Chuck's sensual mouth.

Awesome: Devon.

Lester: Lester.

Jeff: Jeff.

Awesome: Well, any coworker of Chuck's is a guy who can help me pick some stuff out to buy.

Morgan: Jeff, Lester, uh...

Why don't you give my guests a little breathing room?

We have business to discuss.

So?

What can I help you with today, ma'am?

Ellie: Well, this year for our anniversary, Devon and I are making a little bit more money...

So we decided to buy one large gift instead of two smaller ones.

Ellie: Awesome, right?

Awesome: Ooh, gives me a chill when you say it, babe.

Morgan: Have we settled on what that item may be?

Yes.

Yes.

Ellie: Beautiful, isn't she?

Awesome: Beautiful, isn't she?

Ellie: Think of all the great things we can watch.

Awesome: Think of all the great things we can wash.

Morgan: I want you guys to know that I'm not just a salesman.

I've come to think of myself as a retail therapist.

Ellie, why do you really want the television?

Ellie: So that we can spend more time together.

Quiet evenings at home, cuddling on the couch.

Morgan: That's good.

Good. Devon...

What is really behind the washer and dryer?

Awesome: So we can spend more time together.

Ellie: What?

Awesome: No more Laundromats.

We come home from a ride and go onto a run without worrying about dirty shorts.

Ellie: I never go running with you.

Awesome: Well, maybe you would with a drawer full of clean jog bras, babe.

Ellie: Oh, sorry. Hold on.

That's the hospital. I have to go.

Awesome: What am I supposed to do about our anniversary gift?

Ellie: You know what, honey? Why don't you just surprise me, okay?

Love you.

Beckman: We received your report, Major.

Ex-KGB, Eastern Bloc thugs, Russian arms dealers...

Frankly, we're not used to seeing this particular crowd stateside these days.

Casey: Least not since President Reagan won The Cold w*r, huh, General?

So you want us to infiltrate the Grand Saville?

Beckman: The hotel's bar has been booked for a private party early this evening.

Chuck; Fine, I'll clear my schedule, but just 'cause it's you, General.

Beckman: Mr. Bartowski, it's up to you to tell us what these criminal agents are all doing in Los Angeles.

You and Agent Walker are going undercover.

We need you to press some Russian flesh, see what you can flash on.

And, uh... good luck.

Chuck: So, what about you, Casey?

Casey: What about me?

Chuck: I don't know.

I just thought if Sarah and I have to go to the hotel to press some Russian flesh, you might want to drop in on a certain somebody whose name I will not...

Sarah; Chuck...

Chuck: Okay, fine.

I'll shut up now. Geez, what?

What is with that guy?

He really doesn't want to see his ex, does he?

Sarah: I doubt it.

Ilsa's d*ad.

 Chuck: I don't get it.

If Casey's girlfriend is d*ad, who's the Ilsa Trinchina staying in this hotel?

Sarah: Probably someone traveling on a fake passport.

It happens all the time in Russia.

People die and their personal info gets recycled.

Chuck: My God, that's so horrible.

No wonder Casey's so messed up.

Casey, Oh, hey...

Hey, I just-- you know what, I'm sorry about what I said earlier.

Casey: Drop it, Chuck. You heard the General.

We've got work to do.

Those are our Russians.

Chuck: Wait, wait, wait-- this isn't a black tie thing.

I'm way overdressed.

Yeah, lose the jacket.

What's this?

Yeah, perfect.

Chuck: You know, it would have been nice to know that I was the help on this mission.

I could have done some character study.

Sarah: Recognize anyone, Chuck?

Chuck: That's, uh, Dmitry Siljak.

Black market arms dealer.

Sergey "Noodles" Romanov.

Freelance h*t man.

Drunk Russian: Sacha!

Is that you, my sweet Sacha?

Everybody, meet fourth cousin on my mother's side.

Sacha, come and give your cousin great big hug!

Chuck: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Drunk Russian: Hey.

Sacha!

Da. Da. Da.

Russian. Sacha.

Drunk Russian: Sacha wants to dance!

No. No, dance, no. Nyet, nyet, nyet, nyet.

No.

Russian creep; How much for the whole night?

Sarah: Don't touch me again, pig.

Drunk Russian: Get low! Get low!

Chuck: We are great dancers, aren't we, us Russians?

Like-Like Baryshnikov!

White Nights?  Anybody seen White Nights?

You like what I was doing? You like what I was doing?

Yes. Yes.

We're in a circle.

Hold hands.

Drunk Russian: Sacha, you like blonde?

Come here!

Very nice!

She is all yours, Sacha!

Oh!

Chuck: She's here. Ilsa is here.

Sarah: What? Are you sure?

Chuck: Look over there.

Sarah: Our cover has been compromised.

Request team extraction.

Casey: I'm on it.

Ilsa?

Ilsa: Oh, my God.

Casey: How are you alive?

No one could have survived that blast. How did you... ?

Ilsa: I'm so sorry.

Casey: Why are you sorry?

Ilsa; All I remember is, I woke up in a hospital in Grozny two weeks after the blast.

I couldn't see, I couldn't hear.

It took another two months for me to remember my name.

But I never forgot your face.

Chuck: We're Russian!

Oh. Motherland!

Come with me.

Keep on coming.

You crazy people.

Sarah: We've got to get him out of here.

Chuck: Oh, come on. The guy spent four years of his life thinking he'd never see her again.

Sarah: His cover has been compromised.

Chuck: Can't the man live without a cover for just a couple of minutes?

Victor: Hello, everybody.

How are we doing tonight, huh?

Chuck: Sarah? Sarah, I think I know what brought all the baddies together.

Him.

Victor Federov.

A Russian oligarch with ties to everything from the mob to a plot to overthrow Parliament.

Casey; What brings you to Los Angeles? Why-Why are you here?

Viktor: Please, I'd like to introduce you to a woman who will make me the happiest man on earth by becoming my wife.

Ilsa Trinchina!

Chuck: Hey, buddy.

How are you feeling?

Casey: How am I feeling?

Chuck: Yeah, uh, you know, about last night?

Casey: Our mission was a success.

You I.D. 'd Victor Federov.

Agent Walker's been assigned to set up a surveillance on the target.

In short, I feel fan-eff'in-tastic.

Chuck: Well... okay. I-I mean, I guess, uh, you know, I was referring more to the you and Ilsa situation.

Thought maybe you'd want to talk about the fact that the girl you thought was d*ad isn't actually d*ad.

Casey: No.

Chuck; Great. Good, good.

Really good session here, Casey.

Really feel like you're making a breakthrough.

Look, I just... I just want you to know that I'm a good listener, okay?

So, if you ever want to talk about anything.

If you want to use me as a sounding board for your emotions, or...

Finding everything okay?

Come on, buddy.

Just give me something, anything.

Where is she from?

Or where did you two meet?

Casey: Why is this so important to you, Chuck?

Why the hell do you care so much about me and Ilsa?

Chuck: I don't... I don't know, man, okay?

I just... I-I think it would be nice to know that you had a life before... this.

I just figured, if a guy like you can find love-- no offense, Casey-- then maybe there's hope for me, too.

Maybe this whole spy business isn't as screwed up as I think it is.

Casey: Hmm.

Chuck: Hmm? That's-That's... Okay, you know what?

If you want to go through life all emotionally-constipated and alone, then suit yourself.

I'll let you get back to protecting the greater good, you freakin' robot.

Casey: I met her in a flower market.

In Rome.

Ilsa was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Chuck: I knew it.

It's alive!

Morgan: Yeah! There she is. There she is.

Hey, you think Ellie's going to be cool that you went with the washer and dryer?

Awesome: Ah, no worries.

Oh, hey, Babe.

Happy Anniversary!

Ellie: You got the washer and dryer.

Awesome: Well, you told me to surprise you.

So, surprise!

Ellie: You getting what you want isn't a surprise.

Awesome: What's that supposed to mean?

Ellie: It means that I would like to go to brunch, but you would rather go rock climbing.

Or I want to go wine tasting in Napa, but you would rather go to Baja and go kite surfing.

It's always about what you want.

Awesome: Come on, Babe.

It's just a washer and dryer.

Ellie: It's not just a washer and dryer.

It's about what it represents.

Awesome: It represents clean clothes.

Morgan: Have you guys ever considered... ?

Ellie: What?

Awesome: What?

Morgan: Well, that maybe, on an unconscious level, Devon, uh, has the need to exercise or go on these extreme adventures because, well, maybe he's scared of intimacy, of being tied down.

Ellie: Yes! Exactly!

Awesome: No!

Morgan: Ellie, how does that make you feel?

Ellie:Like I'm banking on my future with a giant, muscley child.

And I can't do it anymore.

Morgan: And, Devon, you-- how do you feel?

Of course, naturally. Sure.

Casey: Sure, it was great.

You know, we had what we had, but it's over.

Chuck; So, that-that's it?

You're just going to let her walk back out of your life?

Casey: Seems like the smart play, Chuck.

Nice girls don't marry corrupt Russian oligarchs.

Chuck; Well, I hate to break it to you, but nice girls don't go around marrying guys like you, either.

G-man assassin? International spy?

I mean, pardon me for saying it, Casey, but at least on paper, you're kind of an unsavory dude.

Casey; Granted.

But Ilsa never knew what I do for a living.

Chuck:That's exactly my point.

What if Ilsa doesn't know what her fiance Viktor does for a living either?

Casey: What are you saying I do?

Chuck: Stick to your strengths, buddy.

Come on. You're a fighter.

You got to f*ght for her.

 Casey: This is a terrible idea, Chuck.

We shouldn't be here.

Can we just go... ?

Chuck: Negatory.

We have passed the point of no return.

No retreat, soldier.

Casey: This isn't a mission.

We're just two guys sneaking down a hall like a couple of numb nuts.

Chuck: Hey.

Sarah: What are you two doing here?

Casey: I'd like to apologize, Agent Walker.

Uh, Chuck here convinced me...

Chuck; To come... to come down to the hotel, and to bring me, because I... maybe I could flash on some stuff.

Some cool stuff or things or whatever.

Sarah: You volunteered to go on an all-night stakeout?

Chuck: Doesn't sound like me, does it?

I know. But I couldn't sleep.

So I thought it would do me some good to-to... to, uh, you know, look at some surveillance monitors or something.

Maybe... ... knock me right out.

So...

Sarah: This way.

I've already tapped into the hotel security feed.

You two get comfy.

I'm going to deliver the surveillance to the bridal suite.

Casey: Good bug.

Sarah: With any luck, we'll get enough dirt off the wire to take the target down on U. S. soil.

Chuck: Hmm.

Sarah: Have fun.

Chuck; Don't wait up. Just going to be looking at, uh... monitors and...

 Um, Casey?

Casey: What, did you flash?

Chuck: Look who's hitting the bar the night before her own wedding.

Now, does that look like the face of a woman who's happy about getting married?

Where's she going?

Look, look, look, look.

This is your chance, buddy!

This is your chance! Look at her, Casey. She's just sitting there waiting for you.

Wait a second. You're scared, aren't you?

Casey: Don't be an idiot.

Chuck: Kemo sabe. Come on, man, look, you don't want to spend the rest of your life hating yourself for what you didn't have the guts to say tonight.

Okay? Believe me.

I know.

Russian guard: Hey, this is a private floor.

Ooh.

Sarah: Casey, you're going to have to deliver the package.

I've got a body to take care of.

Keys are in the sugar.

Chuck: Deliver the package?

Sarah: Casey, do you read me?

Chuck; Uh...

Yeah, uh, copy that.

On my way.

Bonsoir.

Housekeeping.

Okay. Eenie, meenie, miney... moe.

Oh...

These stupid keys never work.

Come here.

Ilsa : Oh, Casey.

Casey: Oh, Ilsa.

Ilsa: I've missed you.

Casey: I missed you. I missed you, too.

Bartowski.

What the hell are you doing here?

Chuck: Listen, I-I'm, I'm really sorry.

I know this is very awkward, but Ilsa is a bad girl.

She's a very bad girl.

Ilsa : Drop the g*n, Sugar Bear.

Chuck: See?

Casey: Mind telling me what a nice girl like you is doing with a g*n, Ilsa?

Ilsa : Same thing as you, Casey.

Chuck: I tried to warn you; she's a spy.

Casey: Who do you work for?

Ilsa : Why don't you ask your friend? He's already seen my files.

Chuck: Uh... yeah, I did.

She's French Secret Service.

But, but, but wouldn't that put us all on the same side, kind of, sort of, doesn't it?

Casey: You lied to me.

Ilsa : Says the energy consultant.

Casey: What about the b*mb in Grozny?

That "I never forgot your face" garbage?

Ilsa : Oh, that b*mb.

Victor: Ilsa.

Chuck: Quick, hide.

Ilsa : You have to trust me.

Victor: .

Ilsa.

Ilsa : Baby.

Victor: Where have you been hiding, Ilsa?

I can't wait any longer.

How about we start our honeymoon now?

Ilsa : Oh, Victor.

Chuck: Don't even think about it; you don't know who's on top.

Ilsa : You guys, get out of here before he wakes up.

Morgan; All right... here you go.

Michael, in or out?

Awesome: Hey, thanks for letting me join your game, boys.

Perfect distraction.

Morgan: Captain here had a f*ght with his lady friend.

Lester: Oh... the doghouse.

Been there many a time, my friend.

Jeff: No, you haven't.

Awesome: Guys, Ellie and I are just going through a little rough patch.

Both trying to figure...

Lester: Let me share one thing that I know from personal experience.

Jeff: No, you don't.

Lester: You do not need some broad holding your maracas in a vise.

Jeff: Yeah, man-cake like you, you should install a turnstile on your bedroom door.

Morgan: Yeah.

Huh.

So... in or out?

All right... I have absolutely nada.

Pair of threes.

I missed my straight.

Busted flush.

Awesome: Trip nines, gentlemen.

Big man.

Daddy takes it home.

Jeff: Fine, all right, rules is rules.

This is what's great about boys' night.

Jeff: Hey, man-cake, what do you think?

Want to do this again tomorrow, single guy?

Awesome: I got a surgery I got to do.

Dude, we want to take your pants off.

Oh, we got to get that guy's pants off.

And then?

It wasn't long after we were married that Victor went back to Czechoslovakia.

Chuck: Hey, Casey, we need to talk.

Casey: Is it related to last night?

Chuck: Uh... well, yeah.

Then I don't want to talk about it.

Chuck: Listen, Casey.

Casey: No, you listen.

Whatever you thought existed between me and Ilsa, you were wrong, all right?

That person has gone back to being d*ad to me.

You have something to say, Chuck?

Chuck: Yeah, just that there's a d*ad lady waiting to see you.

Casey: How did you find me, Ilsa?

Ilsa : Your friend left this under the bed.

He's not much of a spy.

Casey: So what do you want?

  Ilsa : I didn't want to leave things the way we left them last night.

Casey: With you getting plowed by a drunk Russian crime boss?

You should get used to that.

Ilsa : We've been investigating Victor Federov since the Paris commuter train b*mb back in '02.

My agency has tried everything to take him to trial, but his organization is airtight, totally legit from the outside.

The only way we could take him down was...

Casey: By screwing it out of him? How, uh...

French.

If you are French.

Ilsa : Casey, please...

Casey: I make one call and you, Victor, and half the Grand Saville are packed on a plane, shipped off to the nearest detention center of my choice.

You're not going to do that.

Casey: Really? Why is that?

Ilsa : That would be unprofessional.

And that's not you.

I wish things could be different.

I'm sorry, Casey.

Good-bye.

Chuck: A lot of Scotch and a little Neil.

Everything okay, buddy?

Casey: Just enjoying myself a little R & R.

Chuck: Mm-hmm.

Casey: Want a drink?

Chuck: No, no.

Thanks, though, I really appreciate it.

Chuck: No, just, uh, just thought I'd check in on you, you know, what with Ilsa getting married in an hour and...

Casey: Thanks for reminding me.

Here's to John Casey dodging another b*llet.

It's not like I want the wife and kids and the Little League practice and the minivan and the Costco runs on the weekend.

Chuck: Yeah, really, you don't?

'Cause I-- it, it seems to me that you'd kind of be into the whole American Dream.

Casey: Nah.

I do what I do... so all those other slobs out there can have it.

Chuck: What, uh, what would you say your dream is?

Casey:,You're looking at it.

Ellie: Sarah.

Sarah: Hi.

Ellie: Hi, I'm so glad you're here.

Sarah: Uh, yeah, me, too.

Ellie: Uh, I'm having a little... a little wine.

You want some?

Sarah: Uh...

I'm actually fine, but you go ahead.

Ellie: Okay.

Sarah: Um, is Chuck here?

Ellie: Uh-uh.

No, it's, um, it's just, just me tonight, um, all, all by myself.

Sarah: Oh.

Um, are you okay?

Ellie: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Sarah: Okay.

Ellie, are you sure you're okay?

Ellie: It's just that... I have both feet in and Devon only has one foot in, so then it's just me taking care of three feet and I want it to be us, you know, taking care of four feet.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Sarah: Completely.

Ellie: Of course you do.

I'm going to go get us some more wine.

Sarah: Okay.

Casey: Besides, Chuck, it's not like Ilsa left me empty-handed.

Chuck: What's that?

Casey: Mm... just a cheap little trinket I used to think meant something.

You mind telling me what that is?

Chuck: It's an RX-77 long-range audio transmitter.

Casey: Someone was listening in on Ilsa?

Chuck: With a Russian-made bug.

Casey: That means they heard last night.

That means Victor knows she's a spy.

Chuck: Whoa, uh, hey, Ca-Casey, Casey, Casey, Casey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, where are you going?

Casey: To stop a wedding, Chuck.

Chuck: No, no, no.

No, you're not, no, you're not.

Scotch and driving-- very, very bad combo and as far as I know, also illegal.

Casey; You're absolutely right. you're driving.

I need pants.

Chuck: Ho, hi, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Sarah: What's going on, Chuck?

Chuck: Hey, Victor planted a bug on Ilsa.

He knows she's a spy.

She's walking into a trap. this way.

Sarah: Okay, uh, I'll see you soon.

Uh, Ellie, I hate to do this to you.

Ellie: No, no, no, no, no. No, we were just going to... we were going to talk about Chuck and where you see that going...

Sarah: You know, we're going to talk about this as soon as I get back.

Ellie: Devon?

Morgan: Oh, I was just looking for...

Oh, hey, what's going on here, ladies?

Having ourselves a little cocktail?

Ellie: Sarah, please... please don't leave tonight.

I just really can't be alone right now.

Please.

Sarah; Uh... Morgan?

Ellie's feeling a little, uh... upset.

So, if you could just...

Morgan: Absolutely. Got it. I'm your man.

Sarah: Okay.

Ellie, I'll talk to you soon.

Morgan: Hey, hey, easy, easy, El.

Ole Morgan's here now.

I'm not gonna leave your side, I promise.

Ellie: You've always been really sweet to me.

Morgan: Ah... come on.

I thought we issued a "no touch" policy back in '98.

Hmm? Remember that?

Buddy?

This is not how I imagined it over and over, but... let's get you to bed, huh?

Come on.

Come on, there.

Come on, old girl.

Casey: Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Chuck: Where did you get that?

Casey: Shh.

Ilsa. Ilsa...

Victor: I assume you're with the bride's party?

Chuck: Ow! Ow, that's tight.

Victor: You make for a handsome groom.

It's a shame to ruin the suit.

Chuck: Ruin it how, exactly? How would you ruin it?

With b*llet holes or blood or... ?

Casey; Shut up, Chuck. 

Chuck; Shutting up.

Casey; Where's Ilsa?

Victor: Waiting at the ceremony.

Quite a woman, huh?

I'm going to miss her.

Oh, well.

At least we get to enjoy wedding night, huh?

Casey: Leave her out of this.

Victor: I have another proposal.

I was so moved by listening to you and Ilsa say good-bye, what if I told you you get to keep the girl?

Chuck: Casey, you want to tell me what's going on?

Victor:,In fact, how would you and Ilsa like to go on my honeymoon?

Chuck: I love that idea. I don't even have to go.

Casey: You mean let me die in your place?

What'd you have in mind, Victor, a plane crash over the Pacific, a fiery wreck that leaves nothing behind but our two charred corpses?

Victor: Three corpses.

Your friend will play the role of pilot, or maybe one of those man-stewardesses?

If you'll excuse me, my associates have come to see me married.

I would hate to disappoint them.

You guys...

Chuck; Casey, I don't want to die as a man-stewardess.

Casey: Relax.

I think I see a scenario where we both get out of here with acceptable losses.

Chuck: What exactly is your version of acceptable?

Casey: Breaks and punctures, possible loss of a limb, no major organ damage.

Hey, Comrades.

Mind if I ask you two fellas a question?

Where did you learn to tie people up, a Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon?

Chuck: I don't think that you're helping right now.

Russian creep: Hello?

Casey: No wonder you lost the Cold w*r.

A couple of Girl Scouts could tie people up better than this.

Chuck: Casey, what are you... ?

Whoa!

Casey:,Like you said, Chuck, I'm sticking to my strengths.

Sarah: How many times do we have to go through this?

Where's Chuck Bartowski?

Chuck; That had to hurt.

Baddie at six o'clock.

Oh! How you like me now, sucka?

Ooh, Cas... Casey? Casey! Casey!

High... very... it's so very high!

Get 'em! Get 'em!

Oh! Casey!

I can't hold us.

I have very weak thighs.

Casey!

Sarah: Last chance.

Where's Chuck Bartowski?

Casey: Hope I'm not too late to object to this union.

Victor: Take these two to my plane and strangle them.

Sarah; They're not going anywhere.

Victor: Really?

Who's gonna stop me?

One little girl with one little g*n?

Chuck: Casey, this is unacceptable.

Casey: Shut up, Chuck.

Ilsa : Try two little girls.

Casey: She looks good with a g*n.

Ellie: Morgan! Morgan!

Morgan; Damn, Mom, I got my headgear on.

Ellie: Wake up. Wake up.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank God. Oh, God.

What are you doing in here?

Morgan: What are you... what are you talking about?

You begged me not to leave.

Ellie: Ow. Okay.

There's um... oh, there's aspirin on your side of the... that side of the bed.

If you could get me six, please?

Morgan: Yeah. Anything you, uh, anything you need.

Here.

Ellie: Thank you.

Morgan: You're welcome.

Ellie: For last night.

Morgan; You know nothing happened.

Ellie: Mostly thanks for that.

Morgan: Look, Ellie, I would pretty much do anything for you.

You're kind of like a sister to me.

A sister I want to have sex with so bad.

Ellie; Oh, God, Morgan.

Morgan: Whoa! Hey, big guy. What's up, man?

Nothing-nothing happening over here.

Just kind of... Not the face!

Awesome: Honey, come here.

I want to show you something.

Happy Anniversary, baby.

Ellie: Devon.

I'm sorry I got so mad at you.

Awesome: No, you were right.

I was being selfish.

I got a glimpse of what my life would be like without you.

Not a pretty picture.

Morgan: Uh, dude?

I feel like I owe you an explanation, and I want you to know that nothing happened between me and your lady last night, I swear.

Awesome: I know, man.

Morgan: What... wait.

What do you mean "you know, man"?

You don't think there exists a scenario where Ellie, devastated over her loss of you, comes into my arms for the conso-lovin' prize?

Think about it.

Awesome: No.

Ilsa : It was good working with you, Casey.

Casey: You, too.

Ilsa: Got some skills yourself 

What does he think he's doing?

Casey: Guess he's trying to spy on us.

Ilsa : He's got a lot to learn.

Casey: Mm-hmm.

Ilsa : Well, I've got to go.

Victor's waiting at the airport at a holding cell.

His extradition papers just came in.

Casey: Well, you lovebirds have a safe flight.

Sorry you had to blow your cover.

I'm gonna miss Ilsa.

Ilsa : I'm sure I'll find a new one.

Casey: I hope to meet her someday.

Well... you better get going or you're going to miss your flight.

Good-bye, Ilsa.

Ilsa : Good-bye, Casey.

Casey: Hey.

Just so you know.

I'm happy you're not d*ad.

Chuck: What's up, k*ll?

You got yourself a new special lady-friend, or what?

Casey: She's hopping a plane.

Chuck; What? Are you serious?

You guys gonna stay in touch?

Casey: She's going back undercover.

Chuck: Wow, that really sucks.

Casey: It's a spy's life, Chuck.

Chuck: Well, don't you worry, buddy.

You'll always have me, I'm not going anywhere.

Casey: Uh-huh.

Chuck: Well, Casey, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Hey!

Or not.

[/quote]
{"type": "series", "show": "Chuck", "episode": "01x12 - Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover"}