BAR -- Evening

J.D., Elliot and Keith are sitting at a table.

J.D.'s Narration: Now that Elliot and Keith were serious, she started buying him gifts.

Keith: [opening a small box] Oh hoho. I-It's a mouth harp...awesome. [laughs with Elliot and tries to play the harp]

J.D.'s Narration: Keith was shockingly good at pretending to like crappy presents. But you know what he was best at? [throws popcorn out of a bowl and puts the bowl out toward Keith]

J.D.: Keith, we need more popcorn...yeah!

J.D.'s Narration: ...being girl bait. Here's how it goes down. Keith comes back [sits at table]. Elliot marks her territory so that the girls knows he's taken [Elliot starts kissing him while other girls are looking.] And I just pick off one of the smaller, weaker ones who come by for a look-see.

J.D.: [speaking to each girl that walks by] I'm a doctor. I'm a landowner. Burt Reynolds is my father. I love sports. [again J.D. throws popcorn out onto the floor and hands the bowl to Keith] Keith, more popcorn. [at this time, a beautiful girl (Tamara) taps J.D. on the shoulder, and a "boing" sound is heard]

Elliot: See, that's how it works [handing the harp back to Keith]

Tamara: You have the cutest hair!

J.D.: [playing with his hair] These old rags?

DOCTOR/COUNSELOR'S OFFICE

A doctor is speaking to Carla and Turk in her office.

Dr. Marston: Ok ok, so you're both fertile yet you're still unable to conceive, so. How often to you make love?

Turk: [looking at Carla] Twice today...

Carla: Actually it was three times. [looks at Turk] You were asleep for the last one.

Turk: Oh wow, that really happened? I thought it was weird that you were in one of my sex dreams.

Carla: He is not allowed to dream about me. It gets too freaky in there.

Turk: Cirque de Soleil freaky. One time, she was skinless.

Dr. Marston: Ok, stress is often a factor in conception. So tell me, do you think stress might be an issue?

***FLASHBACK***

TURK AND CARLA'S BEDROOM

Turk and Carla are lying in the bed

Carla: I swear. If you don't knock me up tonight...no more sex until you steal me a baby. So do it right this time.

***BACK TO PRESENT***

Turk: A little stress [Carla gestures a "tiny bit" with her fingers]

SACRED HEART -- I.C.U.

Dr. Cox is visiting a patient's room.

Dr. Cox: Ok, the uh, antibiotics have brought your fever down. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Patient: Yeah, I'm auditioning for my church's senior citizen production of Street Car Named Desire. Would you mind running lines with me? [hands Dr. Cox a script]

Dr. Cox: [taking the script and reading it] Yeah, I'd be happy to.

Patient: [reading from the script, speaking with heavy country accent] If I didn't know you was my wife's sister, I'd get ideas about you.

Dr. Cox: [over acting using hand gestures] I can't believe you think -- I would do this with you -- Seriously, I'm a doctor.

Patient: [looking confused at Dr. Cox] What page are you on?

Dr. Cox winces and throws the script on the man's bed, and then leaves the room. J.D. walks up behind Dr. Cox.

J.D.: Why don't you just read lines with the old guy?

Dr. Cox: My job is to make sick people better. Not to help Bernie in there score a slice of Episcopalian tail on opening night.

J.D.: Sometimes you've got to go the extra mile with patients. That's what makes me such a special doctor.

Dr. Cox: That and your amazing ability to switch back and forth, seamlessly, between male and female genitalia.

J.D.: Ooooh! [J.D. begins to fantasize]

Dr. Cox: Newbie! Snap out of it. There's no time for your daydreaming.

J.D.: Personally, me, I believe medicine is about more than treating the disease. You gotta be there for people. Take Mrs. Cohen, [nurse walks by pushing Mrs. Cohen in a wheelchair] when she broke h er hip, I treated that. But she had also left her car double-parked so being an "extra mile" kind of guy, I went and took care of it.

***FANTASY***

Two cars are double parked on a street. A loud engine can be heard in the distance...

A monster truck backs up and runs over a car, completely smashing it. J.D. sticks his head out of the passenger window and looks down at two people walking by.

J.D.: Sorry. It's been a little while since I drove stick.

***BACK TO REALITY***

J.D.: [looking confused] I wonder how she got out of that truck? [claps his hands] That's how she broke her hip.

= = =

OPENING THEME

COMMERCIALS

= = =

SACRED HEART -- I.C.U.

J.D. and Dr. Cox are walking through the halls.

J.D.: Look, all I'm saying is, it's important to go the extra mile with patients. It's like I was telling this girl last night [opens his cell phone and shows a picture to Dr. Cox]

Dr. Cox: Why would you tell her that?

J.D.: I didn't, I just wanted to show you who I'm going out with tonight.

Dr. Cox: [stops walking and looks at J.D.] Look, Newbie. There's a reason I can't go the extra mile with patients. It's uh, something personal.

J.D.: [looking hopeful] You can confide in me.

Dr. Cox: I'm a good doctor. [reaches out and tugs on J.D.'s scrubs] Kelly Ripa. [Dr. Cox turns and walks away]

J.D. begins to walk down another hallway.

J.D.'s Narration: It didn't bother me that Dr. Cox had just Kelly Ripa'd me because I knew it would never catch on. No matter how much he wanted it to. [J.D. walks into a female patient's room, reading her chart; Dr. Cox and Turk are watching from outside the room] This, however, did upset me.

J.D.: [talking to patient] Uh, Carol. We got the bone marrow biopsy back. I'm afraid you have Leukemia.

Carol: [looks at him in shock] What?

J.D.: Yes, but the good news is, it's very treatable. We just have to get started right away.

Dr. Cox: [standing by a counter that Turk is sitting on and speaking to him] You know, in four and a half years, I've watched your pal Stephanie go through a multitude of irritating fads: the Ugg boots, the campaign for better grammar among the staff, and of course the double European air kiss. And seeing as how you two are sorority sisters, I was kind of hoping you'd be able to tell me when this extra mile crap is likely to end.

Turk: Oh, It's never going to end. He's relentless. Why do you think I was out Sunday morning buying comic books for my patient? [holds up a comic book]

Dr. Cox: They were giving away free tasty-cakes at the comic book store? E-HA!! [looks around for someone laughing; Turk makes no expression] That used to work better when you were a fat load.

Turk: I know

Dr. Cox: [whispers] Damnit

Turk gets up and walks into the first I.C.U. patient room

Turk: Alright Jake, here it is. The latest "Vengeance" [holds up the comic] I had to travel to five stores to find that.

Jake: [looking at the comic] This is last month's.

Turk: Look, I'll track down the new one for you later, but right now I've got to make sure I have a job next year. [walks out of the room]

J.D.'s Narration: Since there were only three attending spots for ten surgical residents, Dr. Kelso could basically treat them like his own personal valets.

Scene begins with Dr. Kelso getting out of his car and walking away. Once he is gone, five surgeons including The Todd and Turk begin to wash Kelso's car.

It then cuts to Dr. Kelso walking his dog with Turk running immediately behind with a mask on and holding out a small bag to clean up after the dog.

Next Dr. Kelso is standing in the I.C.U. looking for a pen. All of the surgeons stick out pens except Turk. Turk waits and then pulls out a gigantic lolly-pop pen. Dr. Kelso reaches out for the pen like a baby. Camera zooms into the sucker, then zooms out to reveal only a tiny fraction of it left.

SACRED HEART -- I.C.U. Hallway

Dr. Kelso is looking at what is left of the sucker. Carla is walking up behind him.

Dr. Kelso: All day sucker my ass. Try twenty minutes. [Dr. Kelso bites off the remainder of the sucker]

Carla: Sir, quick question?

Dr. Kelso: [turns to Carla] Make it very quick. I'm about to vomit.

Carla: Why was I told to drop everything and look after some new patient coming in?

Dr. Kelso: Mr. Sommers is the cousin of one of the trustees. Not important enough to warrant any face time with me, but connected enough that if one of these ding-dongs kills him it'll be my ass. [J.D. walks up and stands beside Dr. Kelso]

J.D.: Carla can you cover my patients?

Dr. Kelso: She's already someone for me.

J.D.: Alright, I'll find somebody else.

Carla: Why, because I'm just a nurse I can't look after everybody?

Dr. Kelso: Precisely.

Carla: J.D., why don't you tell me what's wrong with your patient Mrs. Jones. [J.D. opens his chart to read but Carla quickly closes it for him] Without looking at your chart.

J.D.'s Narration: Carla knew that without charts, doctors didn't know much about their patients.

***FANTASY***

J.D. walks into a room looking confused.

J.D.: Mr. Barry, I misplaced your chart. I forgot, what's wrong with you again? [the camera shows Mr. Barry's face, which has a cat stuck in his mouth, eyes wide] Oh, that's right. You have a kitty cat stuck in your mouth. [J.D. begins to point and talk to the cat] Or should I say you have a person stuck around you, little guy. Goo-che-goo-che.

***BACK TO REALITY***

J.D.: It's not like nurses know everything.

Carla begins to look very angry, shaking her head.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Uh oh. Carla's gearing up to explode. Save yourself. Attempt the casual side switch. [at which, J.D. takes baby steps towards Carla, looking innocent and turns to face Dr. Kelso.] And, you're there. Now, angry at Kelso.

J.D.: [faking frustration] Bob, how dare you.

Carla: Exactly. You're worried about what I can handle? Vascular surgery wants an update every two hours on bed one. I'm weaning Mrs. Jones' Dopamine from 10mgs to 5. Mrs. Myerson's abdominal wound is dehiscing, and Mr. Wilder's about to be turfed to psych because he thinks he's Flo from Alice [looks over at Mr. Wilder]

Mr. Wilder: Kiss my grits!

Carla: Exactly, Flo. Exactly. [turns and walks away]

J.D.: I hope you've learned something today. [walks away, leaving Dr. Kelso looking dumbfounded]

SACRED HEART -- 4th FLOOR, RANDOM DESK

Dr. Cox and Turk are standing, looking around.

Dr. Cox: Take a look at Mr. Extra Mile guy's Leukemia patient, sitting in there all by herself. [Turk turns to look] Knowing him he's probably out getting her a cake...shaped like a cancerous white blood cell.

J.D.: Alright team, let's stay close. Come on. [walking into Carol's room] Ca-rol! Look who I found. [many people enter Carol's room]

Carol: Larry? Dad? How--

J.D.: Well, right after I got your test results back, I got on the horn with your dad. We started a phone tree, to find everyone. Now, there were some tears, mostly mine, but we got it done.

Carol: You are the most amazing doctor.

J.D. turns towards the door, where Dr. Cox is standing.

J.D.: Hear that, Perry? I'm the most amazing doctor because I went the extra 5,280 feet. What's that? That's right, it's a mile! And how does that make me feel? Keith! [the sound of a mouth harp is heard] Thank you. [J.D. walks out of the room. Dr. Cox stares into the room, looking frustrated]

CAFETERIA

Turk is sitting with Elliot. Dr. Kelso walks in with a big box.

Dr. Kelso: Attention surgical residents still hoping to have a job next year. The annual blood drive is upon us, and I will be needing a volunteer to greet our donors as the hospital's new mascot, the friendly hypodermic needle, Mr. Prick. [Dr. Kelso had pulled out a giant sized tip of a needle and put a long metal pole into the tip to make it look like a needle. At the mention of Mr. Prick, Elliot had a shocked look on her face.] We'll probably change the name. [Dr. Kelso leaves]

Turk: I'm so sick of this. If the jobs were given to whoever's the best surgeon, I would get all three of those damn spots.

Elliot: It's the same on the medical side, I swear. The only reason I got that oncology rotation is because I let Dr. Morgan take me as his date to his brother's wedding.

Turk: Ricky Morgan?

Elliot: Mm-hmm

Turk: He works in the cafeteria.

Elliot: [shocked] What?

Turk: What...?

Elliot: Listen, kissing ass is just the way it's done around here and there is nothing you can do about it.

OPERATING ROOM

Turk is sitting on an operating table talking to all of the surgical residents.

Turk: We have to all band together and agree not to be exploited by Dr. Kelso. From now on we'll only be judged by our skills and our abilities. Who's with me [places hand in the middle of the group and everyone else follows] That's right. That's right! From here on out, no more getting him coffee. No more washing his car. No more taking his son to local steam baths to meet men [Looks angrily at the Todd]

Todd: Well hey, you guys got him coffee. [confused]

Turk: Together on three. One, Two, Three!

All: Together!!

MR. SOMMERS' ROOM

Mr. Sommers is lying in his bed.

Mr. Sommers: What are you doing?

Carla: [writing on her chart] Chief of Medicine said to pay special attention to you and I like to take a couple of seconds to get to know my patients. So first question: Are you allergic to any--

Janitor: Psst!

Carla: What?

Janitor: I need some advice. [Carla walks over to him]. Which do you prefer [holds up two neck ties]?

Carla: What's the occasion?

Janitor: Me, wiping up g*n. [Carla glares] I was cleaning Kelso's tie rack...I assumed I could have it. I find the Armani is very effective on urine, where as the Yves Saint Laurent is--

Carla: No. No [turns to walk back over to Mr. Sommers but he is missing] Wha-- Where'd he go?

CAROL's ROOM

Carol's family is gathered around her bed.

J.D.'s Narration: Carol's family had welcomed me as one of their own...no more so than her brother Larry. [Larry has J.D. on his shoulders and is spinning him around in circles]

J.D.: [while still spinning] Eagle!

Larry: I told you not to call me Lawrence [puts J.D. back on the floor]

J.D.: And I told you I never get dizzy. [at this moment, J.D. runs into the hall-side window, bounces off and goes to Carol's bed like nothing happened]

J.D.: Let me tell you guys why we are here. Carol is starting a journey. Ok, obviously the chemo is going to be tough, but we're all here for you. Anything you go through, we go through together.

SURGICAL HALLWAY -- SURGICAL TIME BOARD

Dr. Kelso and Dr. Wen are standing beside each other and Dr. Kelso is giving a short speech to the surgical residents.

Dr. Kelso: So, you've all banded together. I honestly never thought I'd see the day when we would pick the three surgeons who care for the people of this great hospital based solely on merit. I hope you're proud of yourselves. [turns and walks out]

Dr. Wen: This is a preliminary ranking of your technical skills. So, whenever you get a chance...[all of the surgeons crowd around the board, pushing and shoving]

SACRED HEART - HALLWAY

J.D. is passing through the hall where the surgeons are looking at the list.

J.D.'s Narration: Life in a hospital is constantly humbling, whether it's making your realized you're not as skilled as you thought....

Turk: [looking at the skills rankings] 4th? I'm 4th?

J.D.'s Narration: ...or as on-the-ball as you thought [walking past Dr. Kelso, Carla and the Janitor]

Dr. Kelso: How's Mr. Sommers doing?

Janitor: Actually sir -- [Carla hits the janitor with her elbow]

Carla: He's perfectly fine, sir. He's in tip-top shape.

Dr. Kelso: Good. [walks away]

Carla: [rubbing her elbow] Ow! What, are you wearing a cup?

Janitor: Well, people try to h*t me there more than you think. [after Carla walks away, he knocks on his cup with his hand]

CAROL's ROOM

J.D. is continuing his narration and enters Carol's room to find that her entire family has shaved their heads.

J.D.'s Narration: The key is to be ready for it.

J.D.: I was not ready for this.

Larry: Since Carol is going to lose all of her hair in chemo, we decided to shave all of our heads now. [pointing to the back of the room] He even agreed to do the cutting. [Dr. Cox stands up from behind the family]

Dr. Cox: You're up next, there, big guy. I mean, come on. [holds up hair clippers] You're all in this together, right? [flips the clippers on, scaring J.D.]

= = =

COMMERCIALS

= = =

SACRED HEART -- CAROL's ROOM

The scene is continued from Carol's room with Dr. Cox holding the clippers encouraging J.D. to shave his head.

J.D.: I can't believe you all shaved your heads [sarcastically]. How great, even Nana. And you don't look creepy or alien-like at all.

Dr. Cox: Are you ready to run the extra mile? [holds up the clippers beside his head]

J.D.'s Thoughts: You can't let him know that you don't want to do this. Meet his gaze...meet it twice as hard [gives a smirk, as a nurse enters the room]

Nurse: Dr. Dorian we need you. Mr. Bentley's condition is getting worse.

J.D.'s Thoughts: God bless his herpes!

J.D.: I'm gonna go and take care of that man, and when I come back

J.D.'s Thoughts: Pause for effect. Pause for effect!

J.D.: We're gonna shave this thing.

Everyone starts clapping and cheering. Dr. Cox appears to be very happy.

Dr. Cox: Yeah! Oh, Yeah!

SURGICAL HALLWAY -- SURGICAL TIME BOARD

Elliot and Turk are standing by the surgery board, looking at the "skills" list.

Turk: I mean, how could I be fourth?! I know Bonnie's good and Figsack has mad hands, but somehow I keep forgetting that Todd is a skilled surgeon. [Todd walks in]

Todd: Hey, how come you didn't page me about that surgical consult?

Elliot: I did. You're wearing your garage door opener on your hip. [Todd looks down and seems surprised but pushes the button anyways]

Turk: Ladies and gentlemen...number 2!

Elliot begins clapping along with many surgeons standing right behind her.

NURSE STATION

The janitor is wiping a spot on the counter with Dr. Kelso's Armani necktie. Carla walks in and puts her chart down.

Carla: Kelso's gonna k*ll me. I can't find Mr. Sommers.

Janitor: Did you look between Mr. Spring and Mr. Fall? Ha ha, too easy.

Carla: [while hitting the janitor in the stomach] Hey you know wha-- More armor?

Janitor: No, actually I'm uh, [looks around] sneaking trays out of the cafeteria [reveals and orange tray under his shirt] I'm building a shed.

Carla: Well, this is partially your fault, so you're gonna help me find him.

Doug: You know, whenever I lose something in the morgue, I just retrace my steps. Like right now, I'm looking for something and I know I came to the vending machine [pretends like he's doing an investigation] And then I dropped a quarter, which rolled over here [walks to the other side of the vending machine] And yep, there you are. [he looks down to reveal a body bag propped up against the vending machine. He picks it up and carries it in front of him.] As soon as you take your eyes off 'em, you lose 'em. They're like children. [pats the head of the bag] Big, d*ad children.

CAFETERIA

J.D. is showing Elliot a picture of the girl he met in the bar.

Elliot: Oh my god I treated that girl in the free clinic. She was born without nipples.

J.D.: I knew there had to be something wrong with her. She's too perfect.

Elliot: I was kidding J.D., I have never seen her in my life...[snaps] Kelly Ripa! [Elliot leaves the table, as she moves she reveals Dr. Cox standing right behind her]

Dr. Cox: I told you it would catch on. [sits down at the table]

J.D.: I don't think it's that funny.

Dr. Cox: How's that leukemia patient of yours doing?

J.D.: I'm hiding. I don't really want to be bald. I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't work for me. I think it would accentuate my spoon chest [touches his chest]

Dr. Cox: Yeah [nods approvingly]

J.D.: Plus, the girl I'm dating is totally into my hair.

Dr. Cox: She's gotta be interested in more than you hair.

***FLASHACK***

THE BAR

Tamara: If it weren't for your hair, I don't think I'd be remotely interested in you.

***BACK TO PRESENT***

J.D.: I'm sure there's something else she's into.

***FANTASY/FLASHBACK***

THE BAR

Tamara: No, there's nothing else.

***BACK TO REALITY***

J.D.: There is...even if she won't admit it. You know what, I'm stuck, man. I have to shave this down. [points to his hair]

Dr. Cox: No you don't, you don't have to go the extra mile, that's what I'm trying to tell you. What the hell happened to the days when you used to listen to me?

J.D.: That was a long time ago. Maybe you should listen to me for once.

Dr. Cox: [standing up to leave] Not in this lifetime. Listen, Newbie, You're not a completely, terribly, horribly incompetent doctor, and while I would never let any of my blood relatives be your patient, and if it was someone that I knew -- an acquaintance -- I might be ok with you treating them.

J.D.: Thank you.

Dr. Cox: The only thing you owe Carol is to treat her best you can.

CAROL's ROOM

Carol's bald family is standing around her, jokingly. J.D. is standing outside looking in through the window when Larry walks up behind him.

Larry: Hey, where've you been?

J.D.: Oh, Larry man. I don't think I can shave my head.

Larry: What about Carol?

J.D.: She'll be ok. She has all you guys. [Larry looks very let down]

SACRED HEART PARKING LOT

There are a lot of people outside because of the blood drive. Carla is standing with the Janitor.

Carla: You look over there.

Janitor: Mm-hmm. [walks away]

The hypodermic needle mascot starts following Carla.

Needle: Excuse me nurse. How about a poke!

Carla: I have a husband! Ok. And he's big and he black and--

Turk: Baby, Baby! It's me. [points to the tip of the needle] But I do love that you go to that "big and black" stuff.

Carla: I can't wait to bare the fruit of your loins. [walks away]

Turk: Wait. Wait! T-this is the only way that I could suck up to Kelso without the other surgeons knowing about it.

Janitor: There you are! [pulls the tip of the needle off to reveal Turk's head] You're not Mr. Sommers.

Turk: No, I'm not.

Janitor: [mocking] No, I'm not...[hands the needle tip back to Turk]

7 or 8 surgeons walk up with their arms crossed looking angry.

Turk: Wha-What's up! W-With ya'll? [puts the needle head back on, and the surgeons chase him away] Ahhhh!

JAKE's ROOM

Turk walks in, very sweaty with a comic book in his hand.

Jake: Dr. Turk what happened to you?

Turk: I found the latest issue of "Vengeance" in a comic book store a mile and a half away. Here you go. Actually I ran there in...a foam needle suit, but, you don't care.

Jake: Thanks, Dr. Turk [Turk leaves the room and sees Dr. Wen by a desk]

Dr. Wen: Christopher. I heard you were sweating the rankings.

Turk: No! I'm married and trying to have a baby. Not having a job would be a big boost for me.

Dr. Wen: You're a good surgeon. Plus, your bedside manner is really important. There's no one on that list who spends more time with their patients as you do.

Turk: Are you saying I have a job? If you are trying to "Kelly Ripa" me right now...I would freak out. [Dr. Wen smiles, pats Turk on the shoulder and walks away.]

Turk: [happily laughing, claps his hands] I got a job!

HALLWAY

Carla is looking into Mr. Sommers' empty room. The janitor is walking up to her.

Janitor: Well the good news is his head isn't in the storage room. 'Cause I once found a head in the storage room. It's a funny story actually. I put it in my locker cause I didn't have time to get down lost and found. Went on a long weekend, forgot all about it. Come back to work on Monday, opened my locker...WHA!! Head, plus rats! I panicked, I didn't know what the hell to do. So I grabbed it and I ran up to the roof and I punted it...and I shanked it wide left like I always do. Now, it's heading straight down right for Kelso sitting in his convertible. I'm done. I'm out of a job, right? Wrong! At that second, A HAWK, flies in, grabs the thing and flies off with it. I know what you're thinking...'we're in the middle of a city, what's a hawk doing there?'

Carla: I can't believe you get a locker and I don't.

Elliot walks in towards Carla and the Janitor

Ricky: [dressed as a doctor] Dr. Reid, I need to meet you in radiology to uh, you know, go over some test results.

Elliot: Yeah, it's over Ricky.

Ricky: [takes off his white coat and looks at the janitor] I know you're stealing trays. Stop it. [walks away]

Janitor: Buzz off.

Elliot: Carla, the orderly lost my chart for Mr. Tyler in 406. Would we have his dosages in here somewhere?

Carla: You were gonna put him on penicillin but he was allergic so you were gonna put him on a gram of vancomycin.

Elliot: [snaps] Thank you. [walks out]

Janitor: You should put some of that crazy nurse memory to use on our missing dude.

Carla pretends to do an investigation

Carla: Well, he was an older guy. And he was on an I.V. so he couldn't have gotten very far. [Mr. Sommers appears ghostly in his bed] He was jittery. And he had this weird circle tan line on his arm. It was a nicotine patch. He was trying to quit smoking.

ROOFTOP

Carla and the Janitor emerge from the door to find Mr. Sommers smoking a cigar.

Mr. Sommers: Should I not be out here?

MR. SOMMERS' ROOM

Dr. Kelso is walking over to Mr. Sommers, Carla and the Janitor are watching.

Dr. Kelso: Larry has Mr. Spot on his lung. Don't you worry, we'll pop that lung out of there, get it off to the dry cleaners and have it back to you a little after 5:00. Ha ha ha. We like to have fun. [Carla and the Janitor pretend to laugh]

Janitor: You know I made up that whole hawk story?

Carla: Yeah. I know you're not as weird as you want people to think you are. [she hits his back but hears a hard, clanking sound. The janitor motions for her to be quiet as she smiles]

SACRED HEART -- FIRST FLOOR HALL

All of Carol's bald family is walking in through the hall. J.D. peeks out from around a door that they just passed.

J.D.: Ohoo! WHOA! Nana, how you doing? Looking hot in the track suit, gym's on the second floor.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Date Time

Turk runs up to J.D., looking back at Carol's family

Turk: Dude, there you are. Two things; First, the aliens are here and they're wearing track suits.

J.D.: Oh, that's Nana.

Turk: Second, I got a job. If you hadn't pushed me to do all that extra mile stuff, that probably wouldn't have happened so, thank you. They got a hottie waiting for you at the bar, now, go get her [Turk pushes on J.D. and he falls into a chair at the bar with a beer, at the table where Tamara is sitting]

BAR -- NIGHT

J.D. hands Tamara a beer.

J.D.: Now, where were we?

Tamara: Do I smell banana conditioner?

J.D.: That's one of my conditioners, yes. [Tamara starts kissing J.D.]

J.D.'s Thoughts: As great as this was, I couldn't stop thinking about that Turk said and how-- whoa! This girl really digs hair [she licks the side of his face and hair] The point is, it's hard getting what happens at the hospital out of your head.

J.D.: Ow!

Cut to...

TURK AND CARLA's BEDROOM

Carla gets into bed with Turk and lies on his shoulder.

Carla: How was your first stress-free day?

Turk: Horrible. And you?

Carla: Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time I'll k*ll myself.

Turk: [looking extremely shocked] Not helping with the stress.

Cut to...

SACRED HEART -- HALLWAY

J.D. is walking down the hall toward Carol's room. The camera pans up to reveal J.D.'s shaved head.

J.D.'s Narration: I knew if I didn't leave that bar and go back, I'd never be able to enjoy the simple things...even a woman eating my former bangs.

J.D.: [enters Carol's room] Voila. [all of Carol's family claps and cheers.]

J.D.'s Narration: See, that's the thing about being an extra mile guy [rubs as if he's brushing his hair] You never know who it's going to rub off on. [Dr. Cox is standing by a desk, looking at J.D. with his hands on his head.]

Cut to...

PATIENT'S ROOM

Dr. Cox's theatre patient is reading from a script

Patient: [southern accent] Sister Blanche. I've got a little birthday remembrance for you.

Dr. Cox: [looking at the script and speaking like a country woman] Oh. Have you, Stanley. I wasn't expecting any.

Patient: I hope you like it. [he and Dr. Cox lower their scripts and groan] You're hating this aren't you?

Dr. Cox: No, it's not that at all. It's just that I don't believe for a second that you really want me to leave. You gotta feel it. You gotta get involved. What do you-What do you people say, 'let's take it from the top'?

Patient: [nods] Sister Blanche, I've got a little birthday remembrance for you.

Dr. Cox: A--Again. With some force.

Patient: I've got...

Camera fades back. Dr. Cox is pretending to show force and hugging. Camera fades out
{"type": "series", "show": "Scrubs", "episode": "05x15 - My Extra Mile"}