Credit & Thanks to ~ Vibrant Fields ~

Grey's Anatomy S4x12

MVO: we like to think that we are rational beings ... (view of Christina with her feet up on a chair in the lounge sleeping with something over her eyes)

MVO: humane ... conscientious ... (view of Izzie in the clinic hallway asleep on a gurney with a book/chart in her hands)

MVO: civilized ... (view through window of Alex asleep face down)

MVO: thoughtful. 

(close- up on Meredith sitting in her therapist's office)

Therapist: This is your third session, and you still haven't said anything yet. Now, while I love the quiet time, ... 

Meredith: I read a study that, uh, says that just the act of going to therapy is beneficial, even if you don't say anything, even if you just sit.

Therapist: So you thought you'd come here and just sit? That's how you're gonna solve your problems?

Meredith: I don't have problems.

Therapist: What brings you here?

(Meredith has no answer for that.)

MVO: But when things fall apart ... even just a little ... it becomes clear- we're no better than animals.

(pan from the therapist waiting for an answer, to her fish t*nk, to roaches crawling across a table. The table is in George's really dirty tiny filthy apartment. He has a book in his hands and is clearly not happy with the roaches as he swats at them.)

George: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! (he jumps over a chair and reaches for something in the kitchen area and throws it in the roaches' direction. Lexie is standing in a doorway brushing her teeth.)

Lexie: It's not that bad. I mean, once we get rid of the roaches, the apartment 

George: the CRAPartment.

Lexie: George, this is our home. We'll fix it up.

George: With what money?

Lexie: We'll figure it out. Look, I like it here, and I would like it here so much more if you would like it here, too.

(There is a roach crawling across the 50's looking fridge. He swats it with a yell. She watches him. He looks at her, unable to understand how he could get use to it.)

**********

Therapist office: 

MVO: we have opposable thumbs ... 

Meredith: look, I'm fine. It's just ... I just haven't been sleeping. You know, it's a-the ... just been five weeks, and I can't sleep.

Therapist: Five weeks since what? (Meredith says nothing and sits back in her chair.) Look ... I work in this hospital. I try not to listen to gossip, but this is a very gossipy place. So there are some things that I've heard.

Meredith: Derek's not the reason I'm ... here. He's not the reason.

Therapist: Then what brings you here?

(Meredith's beeper goes off. She looks at it, and gets up and leaves.)

Meredith: you know, I gotta go. I'm in this contest.

Therapist: Grey, if you j ... 

MVO: We think ... (view of a door and a beeper sounding. Christina bolts out of her lounge room.)

MVO: We walk erect ... (View of hallway of gurneys and sound of a beeper. Izzie sits up right with a start. She stumbles up off the gurney and runs down the hall.)

MVO: We speak ... we dream ... (view of Alex still sleeping on the couch as her pager buzzes.)

**********

View of a larger hallway. Christina is walking fast down it, followed by Izzie and Meredith. They all start walking faster and faster.

MVO: but deep down, we're all still rooting around in the primordial ooze, biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold, dark world like the rest of the tree toads and sloths.

********

Nurses station. Bailey is moving charts with Tuck on her hip. Webber is leaning on the counter.

Webber: There's a contest going on.

Bailey: Sir? (She walks away from him, but he follows her)

Your residents-they've been living in the hospital around-the-clock for the last 14 days, engaged in a surgical contest with a point system.

Bailey: I don't know what you're talking about. 

(She tries not to look as the sound of sneakers can be heard and then the 3 doctors go fast walking through the lobby. Webber turns back to Bailey with a look.)

Bailey: They're committed. It's commitment

Webber: It's a lion fight.

Bailey: Okay, I have one baby to get to day care. I have 50 residents on my watch, four surgeries on my schedule. The lions can fight all they want. I'm not zookeeper.

(Webber starts to walk off, and then turns back.)

Webber: Keep your animals under control.

Bailey: Yes, sir.

**********

Lobby. Christina comes to a halt to avoid Webber. Izzie and Meredith plow into her.

Meredith: Move it!

They all look across the lobby and see Rose casually walking in with Derek.

Christina: She's wretched ... and mean.

Meredith: She's not.

Izzie: You know, I heard one of the nurses saying that they've only been on five dates.

Christina: Yeah, 'cause Derek knows she's wretched, and she's mean.

Izzie: Yeah.

(George walks up behind them)

George: (to Izzie) What did you do to your hair?

Meredith: You guys, I know you're trying to make me feel better, but I have to tell you, this pausing to talk about Rose and Derek, it just means ... 

Christina: Yeah?

Meredith: I'm gonna win. (and she dashes off)

Izzie: You bitch! (Christina and Izzie follows her, but gets tangled in George briefly) What?

(George follows them at a hurried pace. They are bookin' down the halls.)

Izzie: (to George) Keeping it clean was getting in the way of the contest, so I chopped it off last night. It just makes me faster and sleeker, like a cheetah.

George: You chopped off all your hot hair for a stupid contest?

Izzie: Not stupid. Rock star contest. Best contest ever. You should try living in the hospital for two straight weeks, George. It's amazing.

Christina: (to George over her shoulder) This contest is for residents only.

George: (irritated) Yes! I know that.

Izzie: Doesn't mean he can't still live here. I feel juiced and alive, and my brain is clicking and running. I have never been more on my game.

Meredith: I'm kinda sad the contest ends tonight.

Christina: I'm not. I want that prize.

George: What prize?! (as he collides with someone on crutches)

Izzie: (slowing down only a bit for George to catch up.)Bailey won't tell us. But I want it. I want it bad. 

Meredith: too bad you're never gonna get it.

Izzie: So on my game! 

(George has stopped in the middle of the hallway as the girls continnue on, oblivious. He is frustrated and kicks the wall.)

*******

Nurses Station

Derek and rose round a corner. She continues on her way and he stops near Sloan at the nurses station.

Derek: (to Rose)Yeah. (to Sloan)Hi. (to nurse) Good morning. Thank you.

(Sloan watches Rose walk down the hall.)

Sloan: What do you see in her? Is it the hot sex? Is she an animal? Is she a bobcat?

Derek: Mark.

Sloan: Come on. Lady on the streets, tramp in the sheets. Am I right?

Derek: (sarcastic) Oh, yeah. She's amazing. Hot, sweaty. Very dirty, hot, sweaty sex.

Sloan: You haven't slept with her yet, have you?

Derek: She's waiting until we're serious. She has morals. She's a lady. Besides, you know what's better than sex?

Sloan: What?

Derek: Anticipation. Anticipation, my friend.

*********

Scrub Room. Christina, Izzie and Meredith are prepping. Alex bursts in through the doors.

Alex: Why didn't anybody wake me?

Izzie: Why would we help you?

Alex: There's such a thing as honor.

Christina: Yeah, it's dog-eat-dog, Karev. Suck it up. (hands him a booklet as he dresses. She walks off.)

********

Hallway. Callie and Hahn still in day clothes walk in.

Callie: I'm so not doing thiS.

Hahn: You so are gonna do it.

Callie: I'm so not.

(They walk past where the residents are prepping. Christina notices them.)

Christina: (in a lowered voice) Callie. Callie. Callie. Callie. Callie.

Callie: Oh, hey.

Christina: You-you came in with Hahn?

Callie: Erica? Yeah. We went out last night, and then it got kinda late with the dancing and the ... anyway ... we never made it home, so I hitched a ride here.

Christina: You're hanging out with Dr. Hahn?

Callie: Erica. Yes.

Christina: So you and Hahn are friends?

Callie: Erica. Yeah.

(Izzie, Meredith and Alex rush out into the hall to Christina)

Christina: (to Izzie) See, this is the downside of the contest. I'm stuck here all the time, and Callie's living in my apartment and hanging out with Hahn.

Izzie: I bet they're just trying to pick up guys. I'm so glad I'm past that. I don't need guys. I don't need sex 'cause this competition is my orgasm.

Christina: You know what? I should be hanging out with Hahn.

Izzie: Cristina, would you focus? It is so much more fun kicking your ass when you focus. 

(And she rushes off down the hallway. They all rush after her.)

**********

Ambulance Bay. Alex has a clipboard that the others are trying to see. 

Meredith: Who's winning?

Alex: Yang.

Christina: Surprised?

Izzie: What? Let me see. (she hangs over his shoulder) I'm 26 points behind? That's not possible. (Alex walks away from her. She stands there dumbfounded.) Count again. What about all the surgeries?

Christina: Only 3 points for watching. You gotta do. (ambulance sirens in the distance)

Izzie: I do do. I can't make them let me do procedures.

Meredith: You gotta ask.

Christina: You gotta take charge of your own destiny, make it happen, like this. (she marches right up to the ambulance that has now pulled in and throws open the door.) What do you got?

EMT: Otis Sharon, 61-year-old male, found unconscious on the street corner with a swollen ankle.

Christina: (disappointed) Not it. (and walks away)

Otis: I don't even know what happened.

EMT: Initial B. P. Was 90 over palp. Vitals s*ab after a bolus of N. S.

(Meredith is looking him over.

Izzie: (shouting) Okay, he's mine. All of you back off. 

Meredith: (sadly) It's a swollen ankle, Iz.

Izzie: (firm) Yeah, he passed out, he's pale, altered, hypotensive, and he's got a rash. You see a sprained ankle. I see a medical mystery. 80 points. 

(She is talking while following the gurney backwards into the hospital. Bailey walks out past her and sees Meredith, Christina and Alex standing around.)

Bailey: Oh, Stevens is the only one working today?

Christina: Uh, no. We're all working. We got paged. 

Bailey: For the ankle. It's gone. Now you're trolling for traumas?

Meredith: Somebody could come in any minute with a critical injury. We're being proactive. 

Alex: We're helping people.

Bailey: You're trolling. You're trolling, and I've got no one on post-op and pre-op. Now move.

(a dirty SUV squeals into the Bay.)

Woman: Help us! Please help!

Phillip: Help my brother!

(Christina opens the door there is a man, Scott slumped in the back seat with a woman. )

Meredith: I'm gonna get a gurney.

Phillip: Help my brother.

(Alex has run to the Driver's passenger door to see to the woman, Mrs. Robinson. Bailey has opened the driver's door.)

Bailey: What happened to your hand?

Phillip: Uh, a bear.

Bailey: A what?

Mrs. Robinson: (to Meredith) He's really hurt. We tried to stop the bleeding.

Phillip: We were camping in the mountains.

Alex: You drove all the way here?

Phillip: We couldn't wait for an ambulance. (to Bailey)I'm fine.

Bailey: No, you're not. Let me see your hand.

Christina: Sir, let's try and get you on this gurney. (she gestures for Scott to get out.)

Mrs. Robinson: Careful.

Christina: Step down right here. 

(She and Alex support him. Scott loses the coat that was on his lap and his intestines start to fall to the ground. Christina fumbles to catch them. The man has passed out and Alex is holding him to the gurney.)

Christina: I- intestines in the hands. Intestines in the hands.

Bailey: Did you just say-

Christina: Intestine in the hands!

********

ER Room. Christina, Bailey and Alex are seeing to the driver's arm. Hahn is also in the room. His wife, Mrs. Robinson, is by the door.

Phillip: He just touched it. He just ... just put his hand out. A cub, and then the m- the mother came.

Bailey: I bet she did.

Phillip: Why would he do that? We go camping all the time. I don't why ... 

Bailey: okay, try to relax, Mr. Robinson.

Hahn: All right, get me a chest tube tray, please.

(Webber walks in the room)

Webber: Did I hear bear att*ck?

Bailey: Complete evisceration, chief.

Webber: Give me 100 of sux, 20 of etomidate. Get me an intubation tray and an O.R. Room ready now.

Phillip: Are you gonna put me under?

Hahn: Sir, it'll be the best thing that's happened to you all day.

Phillip: Is my brother gonna be okay? Please. This whole thing's my fault. I gotta know if he's okay.

Meredith: They're taking him to surgery. They don't know much yet.

Alex:We'll keep you informed.

Phillip: Okay, okay.

Hahn: Impressive hand, Phillip. I can see right through it.

Mrs. Robinson: (from the doorway) The bear cub, she just latched on and wouldn't let go. And then-and then when Scott came over to try to help, the mother, she ... oh, god. I can't believe we got out of there alive.

Pillip: He has to be all right. He's gonna be all right. (Mrs. Robinson goes to his side) He has to be, right? Right? He has to be all right.

********

ER Exam room. Izzie has a stethoscope to Otis' chest.

Izzie: You really don't remember how you fell?

Otis: One minute I was walking down the street, and the next minute, there was paramedics standing over me.

Izzie: Have you been feeling dizzy lately, like the room is spinning?

Otis: Maybe a little.

Izzie: Any muscle aches? Fatigue? Fever? Headaches?

Otis: Well, now that you mention it, yes.

Izzie: Any recent travels?

Otis: Well, I go back and forth to the east coast for my job. Does that count?

Izzie: Notice any tick or mosquito bites?

Otis: I- I live near a lake. I get mosquito bites all the time. Oh, god. Do I have something bad, like malaria or west nile virus or something?

Izzie: Oh, no, no. There's no need to panic, Mr. Sharon. We're gonna take this one step at a time, okay?

Otis: Okay.

*********

Scrub room. Bailey, Christina and Alex are at the sink. Webber enters.

Webber: Mama bear don't mess around.

Bailey: Mama bears never mess around.

Hahn enters

Hahn: I have a ross procedure, but I want to keep a close eye on his chest tube outputs and blood pressure. What's the game plan?

Webber: He's a setup for overwhelming sepsis, so we're gonna deal with the life-thr*at blood loss and get out of there. You can't touch him until he's s*ab.

Hahn: I'm in O.R. Four. Can you make sure I'm getting hourly updates?

Christina: Oh, I'd be more than happy to apprise you of his condition, Hahn.

Hahn: Fine. (and she leaves.)

Alex: You don't get points for sucking up to an attending, Yang.

Christina: Oh, shut up.

**********

Supply closet. Lexie is pulling supplies and putting them into a bag. George enters.

George: I hate this contest!

Lexie: There's a lot of stuff in here. There's a lot of stuff.

George: Stupid, stupid contest- stupid, and irresponsible. I want to play.

Lexie: There's good stuff, free stuff.

(Izzie enters)

Izzie: I need a butterfly needle, a vacutainer, and, uh, maybe an L. P. Kit. I'm 26 points behind, so I need it fast.

Lexie: Why, what do you got? Something good?

Izzie: Uh, sprained ankle.

(Lexie leaves)

George: you get 26 points for a sprained ankle?

Izzie: Last time callie treated what we thought was a sprained ankle, it turned out the patient was malnourished, had a perforated ulcer and died on the table. 

George: That's the best case scenario. 

Izzie: Well, not the death part, George. The medical mystery part. It's 80 points for solving a medical mystery. It's the holy grail of the competition.

George: Oh, yeah. Sometimes an ankle's just an ankle, though.

Izzie: (determined) Syncope, a very strange rash, pale, insidious onset in a guy who travels a lot. This is NOT just an ankle.

(Lexie returns with Izzie's request)

Izzie: Oh, thanks.

(Lexie pulls a plastic wrapped cloth from a shelf)

Lexie: Oh, I could do a lot with these.

George: That's an underpad. Underpads soak up urine.

Lexie: Or ... it could be a place mat.

(George leaves)

Lexie: (spying a urinal) OH! Fruit bowl.

***********

Phillips Room. Phillip is filling out paperwork. His wife, Mrs. Robinson is there with Meredith and Christina.

Phillip: There. Done. b*at you, busted hand and all.

Meredith: It's completely illegible.

Mrs. Robinson: He's a slob.

Phillip: Still b*at her.

Meredith: Okay, Mr. Robinson, O'Malley is going to come and take you to x-ray, and I am gonna take your wife to the waiting room until you get back.

Mrs. Robinson: She said "wife." I'm still not used to that. 

Phillip: We're newlyweds.

Meredith: Congratulations.

Phillip: She's my rebound girl.

Mrs. Robinson: Um, he's a little hopped up on painkillers right now. (to Phillip) I think you're oversharing, honey.

Phillip: She thought she was my rebound girl, but I rebounded her, all the way to the church. Only knew her ten days, but when you know, you know. You know?

Mrs. Robinson: (tenderly) I'm leaving you.

Phillip: I'll miss you while you're gone.

(Meredith and Mrs. Robinson leave the room. Mrs. Robinson leans against a wall and starts to cry.)

Meredith: Are you okay?

Mrs. Robinson: It's just, you know, you marry a man like that ... or a man like that marries you, and he's cute and he's rich ... he's a catch by anyone's standard. So you sort of sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop, because there's no way a man like that marries you. Or me. I mean, he married me. (Meredith looks sympathetically at her.) I'm sorry. I must look like a crazy woman.

Meredith: It's okay, but it looks like you're bleeding a little. Do you mind if I just take look?

Mrs. Robinson: No, no. I'm-I'm fine. I just scratched myself on a branch when we were running. 

(She takes off her hat and we see a huge patch of her scalp is missing, and bloody matted hair. Meredith is staring at her head.) 

Mrs. Robinson: Why are you looking at me like that?

**********

Mrs. Robinson's Room. Mrs. Robinson is now in bed. Derek, Sloan, and Meredith are there.

Derek: CT is clear.

Sloan: But it's deep. That bear clawed you good.

Mrs. Robinson: Go I didn't even feel it.

Meredith: Adrenaline's a pretty powerful drug.

Sloan: You're gonna have to repair the galea, but it should reattach without a problem.

Derek: Okay, squeeze my fingers as hard as you can, please.

Mrs. Robinson: I just got happy. I just got married, and I'm really, really happy. I don't have permanent brain damage, do I?

Derek: No, it appears that you do not.

Mrs. Robinson: Okay, good.

Derek: (to Meredith) Page me if any neuro deficits appear. (He barely looks at her and walks out. She watches him leave.)

Sloan: You got lucky. Your scalp wasn't completely taken off, so we can just sew it back on. Your hair should cover the scar. You won't even need surgery.

Mrs. Robinson: That's great. Thank you.

Sloan: Grey here will take care of you. You can go back to being a happy newlywed.

Mrs. Robinson: Okay.

Sloan: (whispered to Rose) Don't worry. He and Rose won't last.

**********

OR. Scott's Surgery. 

Webber: He's hypothermic, and his bowels are swollen. We need to s*ab him in the I.C.U. And try and get him back to the O.R. when he's less acidotic. That'll give us time to deal with the puncture wounds and the lacerations. Sorry to say that one of you has several hundred sutures ahead of you.

Christina (quickly): I can do it. I'll do it. I need the practice.

Alex: Her stitches are flawless. I need the work.

Christina: Yes, they're flawless because I practice.

Bailey: Karev, it's yours.

Alex: (elated) Yes.

Bailey: (to Christina) You need to update Hahn on the condition of the patient hourly. That ought to keep you busy.

Christina: That is a minute an hour. I can suture for the other 59.

Bailey: Fine, you both do it.

Alex: That's not fair.

Bailey: This man was a chew toy for a grizzly bear. There'll be enough to go around.

Webber: (mock surprise) A lot of enthusiasm for an afternoon of stitching.

Christina: Some people find it boring. I value the fundamentals.

Bailey: (to Webber) It's a point a suture. (to Christina) Kiss ass.

**********

Hallway. Lexie comes through some double doors and then stops. She sees a picture on the wall next to her. She looks at it, looks around, then takes it and walks back the way she came.

*********

Otis's exam room. Callie is looking at an X-ray. Izzie is palpating Otis' ankle. 

Callie: It is a hairline fracture. His E.S.R. And C.R.P. S were elevated.

Izzie: I also appreciated some swelling in the knee.

Otis: What does that mean?

(Callie is in the background looking at Otis' chart. Listening to Izzie.)

Izzie: There could be some sort of inflammatory process going on.

Otis: Inflammatory? That sounds bad.

Izzie: I don't want you to worry yet, Mr. Sharon.

Otis: (surprised) Yet?

Izzie: Is there someone I can call for you? Maybe you shouldn't be alone here today.

Callie: (concerned) Um, how were his labs?

Izzie: W.B.C. 's normal, slightly anemic, potassium's mildly decreased.

Callie: Okay, give him, a, uh, k-rider, then see if you can tap the fluid in his knee to check for white cells or crystals. Let me know if the tap's positive. Good luck, Mr. Sharon.

Otis: You think I need luck? Oh, god. I want to go home. I want to go home. 

Izzie: Mr. Sharon 

Otis: I want ... look, I want to go back. I want to go back to when I was 30, and I want to stop smoking when I was 30. Or back to when I was 20 and not start smoking in the first place. I want to give up coffee and junk food and beer, and I want to be healthy like my ex-wife always nagged me to be. She was a saint. she was a saint, and I drove her away. I want to go back and not drive her away so I don't end up at 60, sick and fat and alone and scared in some hospital with some beautiful young doctor holding my hand, that she wouldn't be holding my hand except she's trying to figure out what horrible disease I'm gonna die of. I ... I want to go home.

*********

Hallway. Callie is standing taking a breath when Christina and Alex come around the corner, walking fast towards the elevator. 

Callie: Where's the f*re?

Christina: Can't talk now. Gotta kick Karev's ass suturing.

(Seeing Karev waiting at the elevator, Christina turns around to Callie.)

Christina: Uh, since when are you friends with my mentor?

Callie: A," she's not your mentor because she treats you like crap, and "b," if you weren't living in the hospital like a mangy dog, you would've noticed that Erica and I have been friends for a while."

(Christina looks back at the elevator. Alex is still waiting.)

Christina: You put in a good word for me, right?

Callie: We don't talk about you.

Christina: I let you live with me.

Callie: (looking at her chart)He's getting on the elevator.

Christina: Who?

Callie: Alex.

Christina: (turning around and running for the door) Hold it! Hold it!

*********

Computer room. Meredith and George.

Meredith: It needs surgery, but callie wants to do 24 hours of antibiotic coverage. So I think we should just irrigate and splint.

Geroge: Okay. I'll take care of it. 

Meredith: Or I could take care of it, and you could take care of the wife's scalp. She needs lots of complex sutures. You could get lots of complex practice.

George: Isn't that like a point a suture? You don't want that?

Meredith: I think this is bigger than a broken hand. He provoked a bear and then drove himself to the hospital.

George: Well, he-he was in shock. 

Meredith: And he married his rebound girl.

George: What?

Meredith: He married his rebound girl, after knowing her for only ten days. Nobody does that. Who does that? I'm thinking brain tumor.

George: I got married on the spur of the moment, and I don't have a brain tumor.

Meredith: That you know of.

(pause as he considers that possiblity)

George: I'll do the scalp. (he starts out the door)

Meredith: You will?

George: I'm gonna watch you try to turn a broken hand into a neuro problem just to get some extra points? Nope. (and gets most of the way out the door)

Meredith: It's not about the points.

George: (turning back to her.) I'm gonna watch you try to turn a broken hand into a neuro problem just so you have a reason to talk to Shepherd? (laughs) Nope. (and walks down the hall.)

Meredith: (In the hallway calling after him.) I do not need a reason to talk to Shepherd. If I want to talk to Shepherd, I'll talk ... (she stops, realizing people in the hall are looking at her.)

**********

Nurses station. Lexie walks to the desk and looks at charts. In the background, Rose is holding a huge basket of flowers and cannot see around them. She bumps into Derek.

Derek: What is this? Is this a hint? I should be getting you more gifts?

Rose: A grateful patient gave them to me, but since you're asking, I do like a nice box of chocolates.

Derek: You're gonna die of a diabetic coma, and I don't want any part of it.

Rose: Cheapskate.

Derek: Crackhead.

(He leaves and they are both smiling. Rose puts the flowers down on the desk. )

Rose: (to Lexie in a gossipy voice) Have you seen him?

Lexie: I have.

Rose: Have you seen his eyes?

Lexie: I ... Yeah.

(Meredith comes around a corner, stopping to write on a chart.)

Rose: I'm trying to play it cool. I am playing it so, so cool. (loudly) I love him. Oh, my god. I ... don't know you. I ... didn't say that.

(She flees. Lexie looks at the flowers. Then picks them up and starts to walk off with them and comes towards Meredith.)

Meredith: What's with the flowers?

Lexie: Uh, are you asking as a resident or a sister?

Meredith: Sister.

Lexie: I'm stealing stuff.

Meredith: Okay. (She looks past Lexie)

Lexie: Are ... you okay?

Meredith: (Leaving in the same direction as Rose.) Resident again now. Stop stealing crap from the hospital.

*******

Exam Room. Christina and Alex are stitching up Scott. Webber is looking at the monitors.

Christina: 22.

Alex: Keep a lid on it.

Christina: I like to know where I am.

Bailey: (entering) Ph is up to 7. 28

Webber: Yeah, not great, but it's improving. Push another amp of bicarb for a boost. Karev's only at 17.

Alex: You're not helping!

Bailey: (from the med cart) Did you just yell at the chief?

Alex: Uh ... s-sorry, sir.

Bailey: Oh, I should end this competition right now.

Alex and Christina: No!

Webber: Uh, uh, I-I mean, uh, it's-it's fine. (Bailey is surprised by his defense of them) I mean, actually, they're doing some nice work. She's beating the pants off of you, Karev.

Alex: Don't you have an update to deliver?

Christina: Well, I think Hahn can wait a couple of minutes.

Bailey: Yang.

Christina: Crap. (she throws down her tools and leaves.)

Bailey: (to Webber) I thought you told me to keep the animals under control.

Webber: Well, from time to time, I like to go to the zoo.

***********

OR. Hahn and others are performing surgery. Christina enters.

Christina: Dr. Hahn, Mr. Robinson is critical but s*ab. We had to put him on low dose levofed for his B. P , And he's put out 350 cc's from his chest tube.

Hahn: All right. I'll look forward to another scintillating report in an hour.

Christina: Of course. (She leaves slowly and then bolts through the scrub room)

********

Stairway. Derek and Sloan are descending.

Sloan: I'm thinking we ought to have a little contest of our own.

Derek: You want to live in the hospital like rodents?

Sloan: Different kind of contest. You and rose, you're not exclusive, right? So I'm thinking you're not serious. One woman, 10 points. 2 women, same time, 20 points. You get out in the morning before anybody wakes up, 5 point bonus.

Derek: You are serious. (He's not into the suggestion.)

Sloan: You need a little spice in your life, man. I'm just trying to help.

Derek: I am truly a worse human being for knowing you.

**********

Otis' exam room. Nurse and Izzie are performing a spinal tab on him. 

Otis: Oh OWWW!

Izzie: It's okay, Mr. Sharon.

Otis: oh, it's not okay. It hurts. I'm alone. I'm all alone, and it hurts, and I'm not okay. I'm dying.

Izzie: (with annoyed determination) By some lucky stroke of fate, you fractured your ankle and ended up at Seattle Grace Hospital with ME as a doctor. And I am gonna find out what's wrong with you, and then I'm gonna do my damnedest to fix it, and if I can't fix it, I'm gonna assemble a team of doctors that are better than me, and they're gonna do their damnedest, too. And then you know what's gonna happen?

Otis: What?

Izzie: You're gonna live a healthier life, and maybe even call your ex-wife because you're being given a second chance at life and this time- this time you can do it right. You're gonna feel a little pressure.

Otis: OWWW Oh!

********

Scott's room. Meredith wheels in Phillip. Christina and Alex are stitching.

Meredith: Chief, this is MR. Robinson's brother.

Phillip: Can I talk to him? Just for a minute. 

(Webber nods)

Phillip: Hey, man.

Scott: Hey, that you, Phil?

Phillip: How you feeling?

Scott: I feel like A ... like a bear ate my guts out or something. You touched a cub, man. What the hell?

Phillip: I wasn't thinking. I ... I'm so sorry.

Meredith: So touching the cub, you knew better?

Scott: Of course he knew better. He's having an early midlife crisis. He's gonna k*ll us all.

Phillip: I'm not having a midlife crisis.

Scott: Dude, dude, dude, you married your midlife crisis 

Phillip: Just 'cause you got eaten by a bear, you don't get to talk smack about my wife.

Meredith: So was this spontaneous wedding out of character for you?

(Christina sees where this is going)

Christina: You know what? He needs a little rest, so let's have some quiet.

(Meredith is unhappy about this, but quietly pulls back Phillip and wheels him out.)

Christina: Oh, where was I?

Webber: 59

Christina (to alex): You are toast.

Alex: tick tock. (He's not worried at all.)

Christina: Oh, sh**t.

(she drops her stuff and starts hurriedly around the corner.

Webber: Yang, no running in the hospital.

*********

ER. George is stitching Mrs. Robinson's scalp. Bailey walks through to Izzie. She sees the spinal tap kit on the desk next to her.)

Bailey: Why did we do a spinal tap on an ankle fracture?

Izzie: He's getting a full workup.

Bailey: How many points?

Izzie: What?

Bailey: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not putting this man through painful and unnecessary procedures because you're trying to win a contest.

Izzie: I'm doing this because my patient had dyspnea on exertion, headaches, fever, myalgia, a confluent rash intermittently over his entire body. I'm working him up for R.M.S.F and doing lyme titers, but I'm also worried about a rare autoimmune or rheumatoid disease because of his high C.R.P And sed rates, or maybe lupus. I'm doing a spinal tap, too, because he was altered and is amnestic about his fall earlier. I- I do want to win this contest, but I also want to make sure that a man does not leave this hospital with meningitis or encephalitis and discover when it's too late that all we did was treat his ankle.

(Bailey looks at her, thinking.)

Bailey: All right, then. Carry on.

(Izzie gratefully scoops up her stuff and leaves. George walks past Bailey.)

George: When you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras, right, Dr. Bailey?

Bailey: Exactly, O'Malley. Exactly.

**********

Phillip's room. Meredith is shinning a pen light into Phillip's eyes.

Phillip: Something tells me you're not just worried about the damage to my hand.

Meredith: Phillip, earlier today, you were squinting at your paperwork.

Mrs. Robinson: I keep telling him he needs glasses.

Meredith: And your handwriting was very tiny and wasn't all that legible. Is that normal for you?

Phillip: Well, uh, never been a straight-a student, if that's what you mean.

Mrs. Robinson: Is he d- or are we done here? We could both use some rest.

Meredith: Humor me for one more second. Okay, look straight ahead. Tell me when you see my fingers.

Phillip: I see them.

Meredith: (jumps up with arms in the air) Tumor! (Phillip and his wife stare at her.) Sorry.

Phillip: This is nice of you, really. Dreaming up some brain tumor to make me feel better about the fact that I made a bear mad. Ever cross your mind I may be just the type of guy who's dumb enough to pet a bear?

Meredith: Jennifer, is he that type of guy?

Jennifer: Well, don't ask me. I've only known him a few months.

Meredith: Phillip, you knew better. You touched the cub anyway. That, along with your other symptoms- 

Phillip: what symptoms? My vision's going bad. So I get glasses, right?

Meredith: But it's not just your vision. Brain tumors have been known to impede judgment, prompt spontaneity, impulsivity. 

(She looks at Jennifer for confirmation. But Jennifer takes it differently.)

Jennifer: (sad) He married a trashy waitress, right? I mean, that's what you mean, that he married a girl like me, a rebound girl.

Meredith: I'm just saying, I would like him to have an M.R.I Just to be sure.

(Phillip looks at Jennifer and takes her hand.)

Phillip: Well, the answer's no.

Jennifer: Do the M.R.I-

Phillip: Honey, I don't need-

Jennifer: Phillip, do the damn M.R.I, Because you're wrong. (to Meredith.) He loves me. He loves me.

********

OR. Hahn's surger. Christina walks in and just starts talking.

Christina: (rapidly) Mr. Robinson is doing better. We were able to D.C The levofed, and he's intermittently awake and lucid. His chest tube has put out 100 cc's since I last saw you, and I'll be back in an hour with another update. (she turns to leave) 

Hahn: Is somebody chasing you Yang?

Christina: Excuse me?

Hahn: What are you racing around for?

Christina: Uh, uh, no reason.

Hahn: No reason? Not because you're running towards the finish line of this surgical contest?

Christina: Oh, that. Yes.

Hahn: Are you winning?

Christina; Yes. Once I finish my sutures on Mr. Robinson.

Hahn: Oh, that's too bad. I was gonna let you watch me put Mrs. Witkowsky's new valve in, but if a contest is more important than a cardiac surgery, so be it.

(pause. Christina is really torn. She puts on her mask properly.)

Christina: (determined) I'd be happy to watch, Hahn.

********

Office. Izzie is at a desk looking at papers. George walks in.

Izzie: (frustrated) Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

George: Ankle guy?

Izzie: His C. S. Fls spotless, the A. B. Gls normal, the ultrasound is clear- what am I missing? What am I missing?

George comes around and looks at the papers too.

George: Oh.

Izzie: What?

George: Right there.

Izzie: Where?

George: See?

Izzie:NO!

George: Well, the fact that you're doing unnecessary medical procedures to win a contest. No! Oh, my god. The fact that you and Meredith are both doing unnecessary medical procedures to win a contest.

Izzie: Meredith has a medical mystery?

George: No, she doesn't.

Izzie: Something is wrong. You wanna know how I know that?

George: No.

Izzie: Great doctors have that extra instinct, George. They just know.

George: Great doctors, they know when to stop.

Izzie: I have to have that instinct, George. 'Cause my instincts lately? Very bad. Really bad. They told me to go for cardio. They told me to have sex with a married man.

George: Oh?

Izzie: They are not serving me well. I am in danger of going extinct here if this keeps up, and I am gonna win this contest if for no other reason than I have to win it!

*****

Computer room. Meredith is at a terminal. George comes in. 

George: You paged me?

Meredith: I thought you might like to see this.

George: Is that bear att*ck guy?

Meredith: That's bear att*ck guy, and that's his big ol' brain tumor. And I'm not requiring an apology, George. I'm not requiring an apology because the fact that I may have potentially saved a life today is reward enough for me.

George: You're calling me in to gloat.

Meredith: No. I need a favor. (she hands him the chart.)

*********

Scotts Room. Webber is still tracking stitches, while Alex works.

Alex: What am I at?

Webber: 87. You're an underdog, aren't you, Karev?

Alex:Sir?

Webber: It's not that you don't have the skills. You have the skills. But you're scrappy. You're a fighter. I like that. I always root for the underdog.

Alex: I'm a fighter, but, uh, I'm no underdog. Like this guy here. He-he didn't, uh, he didn't provoke that bear. His brother did it. Now he's here, fighting for his life, paying for someone else's mistakes. It doesn't make him an underdog. It just, well, makes him have to work harder to overcome the cards he got dealt.

(Webber thinks about this. Monitors start to go off.)

Webber: Oh, he's crashing. h*t that code button.

(They scramble to s*ab Scott.)

Webber: We got a code blue! Code blue!

*********

Hallway. George and Derek are looking at Phillips' head scan.

Derek: This is Meredith's patient?

George: Yes.

Derek: She didn't want to come to me herself?

George: Hey, I'm just ... her intern. (But he won't look at derek.)

*********

Scott's Room. They are performing CPR, but the monitors are flatlined.

********

Philip's room. Close up of Philip in shock.

Philip: Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Jennifer: Honey, I'm so sorry.

Webber: We did absolutely everything we could. The stress was just too much for his body. 

(Phillip starts sobbing. Meredith and Webber wait.)

Webber: There's more. 

Meredith: The neurosurgeon is going to come in and talk to you.

Jennifer: No. NO. I need to know. please.

Meredith: I'm sorry. I was right about the tumor. You have something called a malignant glioma. This kind of tumor causes, uh, behavioral ... it can cause inappropriate affect.

Jennifer: Can you operate?

Meredith: No. It's too invasive. It's been growing a long time. I'm so sorry.

(Phillip pulls himself together and looks up.)

Phillip: I ... good. Good, I deserve that. I k*lled my brother, so I don't deserve to survive.

(Jennifer is sad, and looks at Meredith. But there is nothing she can say.)

*******

Hallway. Meredith is leaving Phillip's room. Jennifer catches up to her.

Jennifer: Um ... doctor? I'm a symptom, right? I mean, I'm ... I'm like the bear cub. I'm just a symptom of this tumor. That's what we're saying here, right? Just so I'm clear.

Meredith: I don't know. I don't know that. You're the only one who could know that for sure.

********

Otis' room. Otis is resting in bed talking to Izzie.

Otis: When you say "negative," do you mean as in bad or as in nonexistent?

Izzie: Nothing bad came up.

Otis: Well, what about all those alphabet tests you were rattling off? I mean, they were elevated or something.

Izzie. Yeah. Um ... they were nonspecific. They likely indicated that you basically have a relatively minor flu.

Otis: I have the flu? This whole day ... everything you put me through ... you put me through all this for the flu?

Izzie: I'm sorry. I am. It just-it seemed like there was something more. It really seemed ... I know it's hard to see the silver lining here, but think of the discoveries you made today about yourself and your life and-and your ex-wife.

Otis: (shouting angrily) My ex-wife was a castrating bitch! She was a castrating bitch, and I never missed her for one day since she left! Not until today! And I missed her today because if we were still together, she would've sh*t me d*ad a long time ago, and I wouldn't have had to gone through the hell you put me through!

Izzie: (whispered) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I really- 

Otis: You treated me like a rat! Like a rat in some perverted lab! Just give my prescription. I want to get outta here.

Izzie: (sheepishly) The flu is a virus. It, um, doesn't respond to antibiotics. I suggest plenty of fluids and rest.

Otis: Fluids and rest? Fluids and rest?

Izzie: I'm sorry.

Otis: Fluids and freakin' rest!

Izzie: (fleeing) I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry.

**********

Hallway outside Webber's Office. Bailey is talking with him. Meredith, Izzie, and Alex are standing outside the door waiting. Christina runs up and joins them.

Alex: What are you doing here? You spent the last three hours watching a surgery. That's 3 points.

Christina: I'm trusting you guys screwed up enough that it won't matter. 

Izzie: (agitated) I could still win. I could. I did get a lot of points today.

Alex: What's the matter with you? Where's the trash talk, Charles Barkley?

Christina: She knows I'm the best.

(They rush over to Bailey with Tuck who is exiting.)

Christina: Who won?

Bailey: (drawing it out.) Congratulaaaations ... 

Christina: Who won?!

Bailey: Grey. The guy from the bear att*ck had a brain tumor, and Grey caught it. 80 points for solving a medical mystery. That's what put her over the top.

Christina: I could've found a tumor.

Bailey: But you didn't. You chose to scrub in with Hahn and watch for 3 little points. Now congratulate Grey.

Izzie/Alex/Christina: (dejectedly) Congratulations.

(Meredith turns to leave.)

Bailey: Hey, don't you want your prize? (she holds out a very sparkley, red and white striped object.)

Izzie: A shiny pager.

Bailey: A sparkle pager.

Christina: What's so great about a glitter pager?

Bailey: A SPARKLE pager. It is special. It is surgery's holy grail. It's been passed down from resident to resident, and now it belongs to Dr. Grey. For the next three months, whenever you all get a surgery, you have to page this pager, and if Grey wants your surgery, she has the right to take it from you.

Alex: Come on.

Christina: What?

Bailey: Enjoy the power, Grey. (turning back to the rest) Now may I recommend you all go home? You smell, you greasy, you need to bathe, and I'm sick of looking at you. Even my 1 year old here is sick of looking at you. Isn't that right, bug? Sick of looking at your little, ugly faces.

Meredith: Somehow I thought I would enjoy this more.

Izzie: Oh, well, give it to me. I'll enjoy it.

Alex: Don't give it to her. Give it to me.

Christina: Oh, shut up. It's hers. She's the winner. She's not gonna give it to you. Give it to me.

(Meredith walks off with it thinking.)

Christina: (in the background to Izzie) Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

**********

Elevator. Sloan and Derek are silent. Derek is fiddling with his phone.

Sloan: I don't like her. I'm sorry, but as your friend, it's my job to say it. I don't like Rose.

Derek: Why?

Sloan: You're not even sleeping with her.

Derek: (surprised)You don't like her because she's not sleeping with me? That's a little weird.

Sloan: It's not weird.

Derek: It's a little weird.

Sloan: Hey, if you were sleeping with rose, I could understand why you're spending time with her, but you're not. And it's-it's just, uh, I thought that, uh, you know ... I thought it was just gonna be you and me.

Derek: Having sex?

Sloan: After! After Addison, after Meredith. I have been patient. I have waited while you partnered up with these chicks, but now they're over, and it's supposed to be just us, you and me, two guys on the prowl, on the hunt.

Derek: You're having trouble getting laid, and you need my help.

Sloan: I can get laid. - 

Derek: Mm-hmm.

Sloan: I can get laid whenever I want.

Derek: uh- Huh.

Sloan: I do get laid whenever I want.

Derek: Uh huh

Sloan: That's the point. Women are everywhere. (pause) I only have one person I can talk to.

Derek: (sarcastic) That's sweet.

Sloan: Shut up

Derek: No, it's really warm and fuzzy, very sweet.

Sloan: Shut up. Are you serious about this woman?

Derek: I don't know. Could be.

(pause)

Sloan: All right. I'll give her a chance.

(the elevator dings and opens.)

Derek: Good boy (He steps off, leaving Sloan.)

Sloan: You're pathetic, and I'm a lesser man for knowing you.

Derek: That's my line. You can't use my line.

*******

Office. Izzie at a desk by herself. Webber walks in.

Webber: Thought you were off duty an hour ago.

Izzie: I'm just catching up on some paperwork.

Webber: Piled up on you during the contest, I guess.

Izzie: You know about that?

Webber: I know about otis Sharon and the $120, 000 worth of unnecessary tests you ordered.

Izzie: Yeah. Well ... I lost. And I put a man through hell for no reason at all. I was a bad doctor today with bad instincts, and I deserved to lose. I don't know why I even bothered competing in the stupid contest.

Webber: So I don't need to yell?

Izzie: You should. You can. But you don't need to.

Webber: Good. (He turns to leave. And then turns back.) Stevens.

Izzie: Yes, sir?

Webber: My year ... I lost by 2 points.

Izzie: You- 

Webber: you didn't invent the contest. The contest is a lion fight. So chin up, put your shoulders back, walk proud, strut a little. Don't lick your wounds. Celebrate them. The scars you bear are the sign of a competitor. You were in a lion fight, Stevens. Just because you didn't win doesn't mean you don't know how to roar. (pause) Good night.

Izzie: Good night, sir.

MVO: There's a little animal in all of us, and maybe that's something to celebrate.

************

Christina unlocks her apartment door and walks in. Hahn is sitting in a chair talking with Callie over wine and cheese. 

MVO: Our animal instinct is what makes us seek comfort, warmth, a pack to run with.

Christina: (recovering from surprise) Hi, um Hello, Dr. Hahn.

Callie: I hope it's okay I invited somebody over.

Christina: (reassuringly) Oh, no, it's fine. It's, uh ... it's an honor to have you here, Dr. Hahn.

Hahn: Okay. (to Callie) I have to tell you ... you won't believe it.

Callie: Yes

Christina: (at a loss) I ... . Was just going in there. (she turns and leaves, but comes back to watch. )

MVO: we may feel caged ... 

Callie: (in background) are you kidding me?

(Callie and Hahn are having a great time.)

*********

George enters his apartment. He stops and looks around.

MVO: We may feel trapped ... but still, as humans, we can find ways to feel free.

Lexie: Be-before you say anything, before you say a word, just-just hear me out. I know it's not much, and I- I-I know it's all stolen. I- it's all stolen and- and-and hospitaly and stolen.

(There are exam room curtains over the windows, stolen art and a Scrub Room sign, the flowers, the bedcloths, and sheets covering the furniture, and pillows on the couch. It is swept and tidied, though the fridge, sink, and walls are still horrid.)

Lexie: You can turn me in if you want to. You can report me for stealing, 'cause obviously, now I'm a thief. I've never even shoplifted a piece of gum before, and now I'm a thief, except I'm-I'm not. I'm a nester. I'm-I'm nesting. This is me nesting ... for you. Because you hate it here. You want to be at that big house with Meredith and Izzie where things are warm and you have your friends and-and there aren't any roaches. But this can be warm, and I put out traps for the roaches. And-and I ... I can be your friend. No, I-I ... I can be your friend. I d-don't- I don't have any friends here, not-not really, except you. And-and I don't have a home to go to anymore, ex-except here. I just-I ... I can be your friend.

George: I complain a lot, don't I?

Lexie: I- it's ... okay.

George: No. No. You know what? I'm gonna stop. I'm just-m just gonna stop right now. I'm gonna focus on what's good, you know, like, uh, like this crapartment, like this apartment.

(The sit on the couch together. She is relieved. He is thinking.)

MVO: We are each other's keepers.

Goerge: Wish you'd have stolen a tv.

Lexie: I tried. They're bolted to the walls.

George: Still.

********

MVO: We are the guardians of our own humanity.

Dark Office with Meredith. Books are open on a desk and she is studying the screen. Her pager lights up. She turns it off.

********

Next morning. Derek and Rose exit the elevator and kiss each other good bye. She walks off.

Derek: I'll see you. 

(he looks around and sees Meredith at the Nurses station. He walks to her.)

MVO: And even though there's a beast inside all of us ... 

Derek: Hi.

Meredith: I think I found a way to save lives. I don't know for sure, but I think, uh, we can save people who have the kind of tumors that Mr. Robinson has.

Derek: Mr. Robinson-the man who was mauled by the-the bear.

Meredith: I did all this research, and I found this. It's rare, and it's still untested in humans, but I could find patients for a clinical trial, and I could do the lab work, and I could track the results. But I do need a neurosurgeon, and you're one of the best. It's not about us. I would go somewhere else if I could. But ... I don't know. I think I found a way to save lives.

(She pushes the papers towards him. He picks up the first page.)

MVO: What sets us apart from the animals is that we can think, feel, dream and love. And against all odds ... against all instinct ... 

*********

Therapist's room. Pan from Therapist to Meredith wringing her hands on the couch.

Meredith: Okay. I think I better start talking now. 

MVO: We evolve.
{"type": "series", "show": "Grey's Anatomy", "episode": "04x12 - Where the Wild Things Are"}