DANNI'S BEDROOM -- MORNING

J.D. lies staring at the ceiling, with Danni cuddled in his arms. She stirs.

J.D.'s Thoughts: She's awake. Say something romantic.

J.D.: Do you think this is a good time to start talking about a nickname for my penis?

It's just that I-I dated this girl in college who made the decision without consulting me, and then all of a sudden there it was -- eighteen straight months of it being called "Little Buddy". And we just didn't like that; not one bit.

Danni: J.D., I haven't even had coffee yet.

J.D.: Ah, you're right, I'm sorry.

She cuddles closer and they lie quiet for a second.

J.D.: "Big Al" for example....

Danni: Why don't you just tell me a story? Something romantic.

J.D.: Okay. [kisses her forehead] Once there was a beautiful girl who met a stunningly handsome young doctor....

***FLASHBACK SEQUENCE: Matthew Sweet's "I've Been Waiting" plays as J.D. recounts the story of his relationship with Danni.

Their meeting in the elevator...

J.D.'s Narration: He noticed her right away.

J.D. checks out her butt.

J.D.'s Narration: And she noticed him noticing her.

J.D. averts his gaze when Danni sh**t him a dirty look.

J.D.'s Narration: Their first date was amazing.

Their first date in a ceramics decorating shop...

J.D. looks over at Danni's creation, a plate on which she's painted "This Is So Lame".

J.D.'s Narration: They had so much fun together, they felt like kids again.

They skip through a park.

J.D.'s Narration: Then it was time for their first kiss.

J.D. and Danni sitting in a tree...

Danni: [butting into the narration] And...how was that?

J.D.'s Narration: Intense.

As they lean in to kiss, they lose their balance and plummet to the ground.

J.D.: Whoa! Woo! Agh!

J.D.'s Narration: The next date didn't start that well, either...

As J.D. and Danni walk along, the heel of her shoe breaks off.

J.D.'s Narration: ...but it got better from there.

J.D. walks along barefoot, as he has gallantly offered his shoes to Danni.

J.D.'s Narration: And that night, well...

J.D. and Danni tumble into bed.

***END FLASHBACK

J.D.: ...it was the most amazing night the young doctor ever had.

Danni: And then what happened?

J.D.: And then the young doctor realized he hadn't seen the beautiful girl naked in the light yet.

He lifts the covers to look.

J.D.: Damn!

Danni: Are you as into this as I am?

J.D.: If I wasn't crazy about ya, would I be willing to do this?

He leaps out of bed in nothing but black socks and begins flailing around in a crazy dance.

J.D.: [providing a b*at] Doom-doom, bah, do-doom-doom, dop-bop...

J.D.'s Narration: As I was doing the Naked Chicken Dance that my uncle Bart had taught me, I realized that life couldn't get much better than this.

J.D.: ...doom-doom, dop-dop, doom--

Dr. Cox barges in. J.D. quickly grabs something off the dresser to conceal himself.

Dr. Cox: Okay! Now, just because Jordan thinks it's cute that you're violating her little sister doesn't mean that you can use my guest-room for your nerdy, G-rated sexcapades.

And oh, my God, what are you doing with my little boy, you sick, sick bastard!?

J.D. looks down to see that the item he picked up to hide behind is a photo of little Jack.

J.D.: My bad.

He flips the picture around. Now he's got Dr. Cox's face over his naughty bits.

J.D.: It's a beautiful sh*t of you.

Dr. Cox: Jus-- Come'ere!

He grabs the framed picture and storms out in disgust.

Dr. Cox: Ju--you filthy, filthy boy! Filthy girl! Filthy girl!

Once the door is slammed, Danni looks over at J.D. who's been belittled by the encounter.

Danni: Aww, you're okay, Little Buddy!

J.D.'s Thoughts: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!

~*~

OPENING THEME

COMMERCIALS

~*~

HOSPITAL ENTRANCE

Jordan and Danni are seeing their men off to work.

J.D.'s Narration: Even though Dr. Cox got a front-row look at Little Buddy -- ohhh, no! Now I'm saying it! -- my day still started off great!

Dr. Cox stands impatiently by as J.D. and Danni suck face.

Dr. Cox: I'm about to set a new distance record for projectile vomiting.

Jordan: Come on.... It reminds me of my sexiest kiss: Our honeymoon, standing waist-deep in the ocean.... I think you were in at the bar.

Dr. Cox: Okay! Gotta go! Come on.

He smacks J.D. in the shoulder as he heads in.

J.D. reluctantly parts from Danni.

Danni: Be brilliant today!

J.D.: I always am.

Because he was staring at her, he failed to notice the a*t*matic doors close in front of him. He bashes into them.

J.D.: Ah! Ow!

Cut to...

HALL

J.D. and Dr. Cox emerge from the elevator.

J.D.: You know, I h*t my head so hard I actually saw cartoon birds. Then I realized I was in Pediatrics and it was just the wallpaper! Ha!

Dr. Cox: Stunning. Look, Tammy, as far as your love life goes, normally I couldn't care less who's laying your quivering body down by the f*re while your lips whisper "No, no...no" but your eyes scream, "Yes. Yes. Oh, big daddy, yes!" But when you're dating Jordan's sissy-poo, it forces me to spend time with you outside of the hospital, and I just won't have that. So, hhhere's the deal: Don't want to have dinner with you. Don't want to go bowling with you. And I never, ever again want to walk into my kitchen and hear you say, [singing] "Ohh, it's waffle time! It's waffle time! Won't you have some waffles of mine?"

J.D.: [joining in] "...waffles of mine..."

Dr. Cox: Bottom line: We'll be bestest friends foreverest if you just keep your face out of my face. Uh-huh.

Point made, he enters a patient's room.

Continue to...

PATIENT'S ROOM -- A SECOND LATER

J.D. enters.

Dr. Cox: Awwww.

J.D.: She's my patient!

That patient is Jill Tracy, a familiar face from episodes 1.10 and 1.22.

Jill: Hey guys, how are you? I'm great! You know me, I'm up, up, up, up, up, and then some fashion n*zi on the E! Network says that pear-shaped people shouldn't wear stripes, and whoosh, guess who's ear-deep in mint-chocolate chip ice cream. [laughing pathetically] Meheehee.

J.D.: You know, if you leave it on the counter for an hour, you can just drink it like a milkshake. Except, watch out -- if that block's not totally melted, hits you in the face!

Jill: Oh, that'd go everywhere.

J.D.: Yeah, one time I got Chunky Monkey in my eye.

Dr. Cox: [whistles, annoyed] What brings Ms. Tracy to us?

J.D.: Oh, uh, her landlord found her passed out on her floor.

Jill: Yeah, lucky me, I couldn't pay my rent this month.

J.D.'s Narration: A recent study found that doctors spend an average of fifteen seconds listening to a patient.

A little 15-second timer appears in a corner of the screen, counting down.

J.D.'s Narration: It sounds insensitive, but the truth is it's all the time you need.

Dr. Cox: So, how you feel?

Jill: Awesome!

Dr. Cox: Ms. Tracy...

Jill: Headachy, nauseous, and embarrassed that my landlord saw me in my granny panties.

Dr. Cox: Oh, dear. We're gonna run some tests and figure this out.

The timer runs out with a buzz. Dr. Cox and J.D. head out.

Jill: [calling after them] I'll be here! ...If you.... [sighs]

~*~

BAR -- EVENING

Carla and Elliot are throwing darts. It's Elliot's turn. She aims, and jabs a nearby guy in the back.

Guy: Ow!

Elliot: Sorry! I--if that gets infected, I'm a doctor!

Carla: Look, you keep going to the right, so this time aim at that guy to the left, and you'll h*t the board.

Elliot aims at the guy on the other side of the board, and misses him! Good score! They celebrate.

At the bar, J.D. and Turk watch.

J.D.: Those two are like best friends now, huh?

Turk: I know. I wonder what it was that made them so tight?

***FANTASY: A CHiPs FAN CONVENTION

Elliot and Carla run into each other.

Carla: Elliot! What are you doing here?

Elliot: I'm, uh, just meeting some friends here for drinks.

Carla: Yes! Me too! Friends.

They just about get away with that until the star of the show, Erik Estrada in his CHiPs uniform, wanders by.

Erik Estrada: Hey.

Together: PONCH!!!!

Erik Estrada: Damn. I still got it.

He walks off, and Carla and Elliot squeal and jump up and down.

****

Turk: Wait a second, dude, wa--that was us.

J.D.: I know.

Together: Greatest night ever!!!

They laugh excitedly for a moment, then straighten up, embarrassed.

~*~

DR. KELSO'S OFFICE

Dr. Kelso is on the phone as Ted the Lawyer comes in.

Dr. Kelso: [on phone] Yes, Enid, I hear Baxter growling, but the fact is you ventured into his side of the house. ... Baring his teeth, huh? ... Okay, now here's what you do. ... Are you ready? ... Make a sudden move!

He holds the phone from his ear as vicious snarls and barks mingle with a woman shrieking on the other end.

Dr. Kelso: [chuckling] Ahhh, those two!

Finally, he hangs up the phone.

Lawyer: Sir, we've got some complaints that the new discount stethoscopes you ordered are uncomfortably tight. I contacted the manufacturer, but apparently he's decided to focus more on his hand-made smoking paraphernalia.

Dr. Kelso: Nonsense! These are fine!

Dr. Kelso takes the stethoscope from Ted and sticks the buds in his ears. There's a strange deflating noise as a look of panic collects on Kelso's face.

Lawyer: Are you okay [garbled from Kelso's perspective] Dr. Kelso?

Dr. Kelso's Thoughts: Sweet dancing Jehovah! I've punctured my brain!

~*~

JILL TRACY'S ROOM

Jill is looking at the elegant ring on her left hand.

Dr. Cox and J.D. enter and the 15 seconds start counting down.

Dr. Cox: Boy, oh boy, that's some rock. When, uh, when's the big day?

Jill: Oh, me? No, no, never -- my fiancé dumped me. I'm just noticing how beautiful his mother's ring is. You know, compared to the fake one I sent back to him. Oops!

J.D.: Ms. Tracy, we found some organophosphates in your system. Have you had any recent exposure to pesticides?

Jill: Pesticides? No, I don't have any pest problems.

Dr. Cox: Oh, God, that must be so nice!

J.D.: [to Cox] They're just feelings; they'll heal.

Dr. Cox: Don't worry. We're on top of this.

Just out of time, Dr. Cox and J.D. leave again.

Jill: Oh-- [sotto voce] ...Bye.

Continue to...

HALL

Danni meets up with J.D. as Dr. Cox goes over to the Nurses' Station.

Danni: Hey!

Dr. Cox: Hey...hey.

Danni: Jordan just said we should all go to the carnival tonight.

J.D.: The carnival!?

He notices Dr. Cox over Danni's shoulder hanging himself by his stethoscope.

J.D.: Oh, I can't go to the carnival, Danni. I puke at carnivals...a lot.

Dr. Cox now has reason to keep living, and gives Danni the ol' thumb's up when she looks at him.

Danni: [to J.D.] You don't really puke at carnivals, do you.

J.D.: I do. But I still love 'em!

Dr. Cox: Look, I have an even dandier idea: Why don't you crazy kids do something on your own?

Danni: Look, Perry, the fact is I'm Jordan's sister, so as long as I'm staying in town you're gonna be seeing a lot of these smiling faces. [to J.D.] Smile.

The two of them grin.

~*~

I.C.U.

Carla and Elliot are working together. Between patients, they chat.

Elliot: So, I waxed my legs at home last night.

Carla: Yeah, how did that go?

Elliot: Not great, I can't do it.

She lifts the leg of her scrubs revealing a cloth strip still clinging to the track of wax.

Elliot: I'd rather die hairy.

They walk on towards the next patient.

Elliot: Oh, Mrs. Cainings needs something to help her sleep. Give her Haloperidol.

Carla: Haloperidol won't put her to sleep. Give her a Benzo, it'll knock her right out.

Elliot: Yeah, but, sometimes with Benzos older people can have a bad reaction.

Carla: Elliot, have I ever steered you wrong?

Elliot: Who suggested this?

She displays her waxy leg again.

Carla jerks the strip off in one quick motion, causing Elliot to shriek in agony and grip her painful leg.

Elliot: Ohhhh! ...Smooth!

Carla: Benzo it is.

She walks on, and Elliot races to catch up with her, lifting up the back of her scrubs top.

Elliot: Hey, wait! What about this one?

On her lower back is another wax strip.

~*~

CAFETERIA

Turk and Todd are having lunch.

Todd: Dude, my broccoli is hot.

Turk: Please tell me you mean temperature-wise -- because there is no way you can find broccoli sexy.

Todd: Oh...yeah...temperature-wise....

He holds up two little broccoli florets.

Todd: ...And mini green boobs-wise! [blubbers at the florets] What's up!!

Turk reluctantly gives him the high-five.

Dr. Kelso passes the table.

Turk: Sir, I wanted to talk to you about that hernia seminar this weekend?

Dr. Kelso doesn't acknowledge him.

Turk: Okay, sure, we can totally talk later!

The Janitor stops Dr. Kelso.

Janitor: Hey, Dr. Kelso. Hey. Dr. Kelso. Uh, I don't know if you heard or not, but Bernice, the lady who does the PA announcements usually, she just got h*t by a bus, and, um, I was on the speech team in high school...

From Dr. Kelso's perspective, the Janitor tells a garbled tale of his history.

Janitor: ...so, anyway, I was thinking that maybe from now on, I could do the announcements. You know, just until Bernice gets back on her...foot.

Dr. Kelso mulls the best answer to give in his situation of uncertainty.

Dr. Kelso: Splendid!

He goes on and the Janitor smiles.

~*~

THE CARNIVAL -- WHAC-A-MOLE GAME -- EVENING

J.D. nervously plays next to an enthusiastic Dr. Cox.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Dr. Cox seems to be having fun...but I think I know why.

***FANTASY: Instead of moles, what Dr. Cox aims at are little J.D. heads.

Dr. Cox: Ohh, ooh! Whack a newbie! Whack a newbie! Whack a newbie! Ohh! Ohhh!

Newbie Heads: Missed me! Ha! Ha!

Dr. Cox: Whack a newbie! Ohh, there you are! Ohh, there you are! Oh, come here! Ohh!

Newbie Heads: Oww! Oww!! Owww!

Dr. Cox: Ohhhhhhhh, whack a newbie!!! Whack a--

****

Jordan: Perry.

He stops whacking at the finished game.

Jordan: It's over.

Dr. Cox: Sorry.

Jordan: So, we're gonna go eat some more disgusting fried food and then look at the fat lady to make ourselves feel better.

Danni: So, we'll meet you guys on the Ferris wheel.

She comes closer to J.D.

Danni: Only if your stomach's okay.

J.D.: Oh, yeah, it's only the back-and-forthy rides that get me.

The girls go off.

Dr. Cox: Well, you have done it. It's Friday night, and instead of being at home, drinking whiskey through my son's sippy cup, I'm actually at a carnival with you, surrounded by piles of manure even though I've yet to see a single animal!

J.D.: That __is__ weird....

Dr. Cox: Uh-huh. I'll tell you what, how 'bout we head right on over there, and if you can raise that hammer above your head with those chicken bones you call arms, I'll let you take a free whack at my dome.

J.D.: First of all, I already raised the hammer; and the only reason I didn't ring the bell is that the game is obviously rigged.

There's a ding at the game in question as a family congratulates their son for hitting the target.

Kid: Woo-hoo!

Dad: Good job, son!

Dr. Cox: Uh-huh.

J.D.: Look, the only positive thing about this whole situation is that it's driving you crazy and there's nothing you can do about it.

Dr. Cox glares at J.D. The tension is interrupted by another ding.

Kid: Way to go, Gina!

J.D.: Oh, come on!

~*~

HOSPITAL -- PA BOOTH

The Janitor prepares for his first announcement. He flips on the mic.

Janitor: Dr. Tushy, you're needed in the OR.

Meanwhile...

I.C.U> -- NURSES' STATION

Dr. Tushy heads off.

Janitor: [over PA] Nice name, buddy. b*at up in high school much?

Tushy furrows his brow and continues on.

He passes Elliot, who's running over to the bed of Mrs. Cainings, suffering seizures, her monitors beeping wildly, as Carla and other staff work to s*ab her.

Carla: Oh--It's okay. It's okay. It's okay!

Elliot: What's going on!?!

Carla: She's having a reaction to the Benzo.

Both women exchange a loaded look.

J.D.'s Narration: There are a lot of different ways to get the upper hand in a relationship.

Back at...

THE CARNIVAL

J.D., Danni, Dr. Cox, and Jordan approach the Ferris wheel.

J.D.: Oh, I gave the guy half a corn-dog so we can all ride foursies!

Dr. Cox: Ohhhhhhohhhhh.

He starts to turn back, but Jordan pushes him on.

Jordan: Oh, let's go.

Carnie: Corn-dog!

J.D.'s Narration: It can happen with a simple request...

Meanwhile...

HOSPITAL -- NURSES' STATION

Dr. Kelso approaches Turk.

Dr. Kelso: COULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AT MY EARS?

J.D.'s Narration: ...it can happen because of a mistake...

Meanwhile...

I.C.U.

Elliot approaches Carla.

Elliot: Mrs. Cainings is s*ab, so DC the posey vest.

Carla: That's never happened to me before with the Benzo. I still think--

Elliot: What do you think, Carla? Did you think that maybe I'm the doctor? 'Cause that's what I think. So maybe you should just DC the vest like I asked, and keep your opinion to yourself.

Back At...

THE CARNIVAL

The two couples' Ferris wheel car rides to the top.

J.D.'s Narration: Still, even when you have the upper hand, it's important to be careful. Because some people fight dirty.

Dr. Cox: You know, Danni, I think it's amazing that you're actually comfortable dating J.D., what with him having nailed Jordan and all.

Eyes widen and brows furrow, and suddenly the ride halts.

Carnie: Uh, sorry, folks. A little problem here. Get you down in about an hour or so.

Everyone looks miserable but Perry, who grins as he rocks the car back and forth.

J.D.: I don't feel so good.

~*~

COMMERCIALS

~*~

OUTSIDE DR. COX'S APARTMENT

J.D. is saying goodnight to Danni.

J.D.'s Narration: Sometimes the best thing to do is just to say exactly what's in your heart.

J.D.: I'm sorry I puked on your shoes.

Danni: I'm sorry I wore sandals.

J.D.: And, Danni, that whole thing with Jordan...[chuckles nervously]...it's so long ago, I don't even remember it.

Danni: J.D., you keep a sex journal of all your experiences under your bed.

J.D.: Gotta stop showing that to new girlfriends!

Danni: Look, you shoulda told me. But I'm not gonna let things like this mess it up with the guy I'm falling in love with.

J.D.: Oh, thank God! Do you wanna get some pineapple pizza?

Danni: I think I'll probably just go inside and wash my feet.

J.D. does an awkward wave.

J.D.: That's robot for "Goodnight."

He does another robot move.

J.D.: "Peace!" Heh.

He leaves.

~*~

NURSES' STATION

Dr. Kelso follows behind Turk, who speaks to the other staffers.

Turk: [loud and chipper] All right, people, listen up: Dr. Kelso has ruptured both his eardrums. You could say whatever you want to him as long as you got a smile on your face! HOLLA!

Dr. Cox: Bob! You stupid motherf--[garbled].

Todd: [garbled]

Carla: [garbled]

Dr. Kelso: [chuckles] Thanks for the kind words, g*ng!

He and Turk continue out.

Elliot arrives in front of Carla.

Carla: Yes?

Elliot: Carla, look, I just wanted to apologize.

Carla: I'm so glad! I didn't want us to stay mad at each other!

Elliot: It's all my fault! I should never have listened to you in the first place. I mean, I need to be a strong enough doctor to just ignore you when you won't shut up.

Carla: [insulted] That's so sweet.

The two women stare at each other.

Janitor: [over PA] All available medical personnel, please report to the second floor for a cat fight. Cat fight on the second floor!

The surrounding staff gather around, including Todd, who leans in close and makes cat noises to prompt the action.

~*~

JILL TRACY'S ROOM

Dr. Cox and J.D. enter. The clock starts ticking.

Dr. Cox: Well, we sent some haz-mat guys over to your apartment, but they said there were no signs of pesticides.

J.D.: They also said you mixed art deco with Indonesian antiques. I think that is so daring!

Jill: Aww.

Dr. Cox: Reel it in, q*eer Eye.

Jill: Thanks, guys. Honestly, I can't remember the last time anyone was this nice to me.

J.D.: Well, you know....

Buzz! That's 15 seconds.

J.D.: We gotta go.

They turn and leave.

Continue to...

HALL

J.D.: Hey, you should know your little cheap sh*t didn't land, because Danni isn't mad at me at all.

He spots her coming from down the hall.

J.D.: Hey, Baby! You comin' to give pop-pop some candy? 'Cause I'm hungry!

She ignores him and boards the elevator.

J.D.: Oh--okay, later's fine too.

Dr. Cox: Oh, yeah. I mean, I can--I can feel the love all over!

~*~

HALL

Carla and Turk are walking through.

Carla: Can you believe that Elliot, giving me all that attitude?

Turk: You know, two weeks ago an O.R. nurse with like twenty years experience started telling me I was tying the wrong suture.

Carla: But I bet you listened to her, right?

Turk: Nah, I kicked her ass out the O.R.! Heh!

Carla: But I bet you were nice about it? Right?

They stop at...

ADMISSIONS -- FRONT DESK

Turk: No, I made her cry. The point is, baby, whatever happens with this patient, it's on my shoulders; and it's the same with Elliot and you know that. That's what makes your relationship so complicated. Outside this hospital, yeah, you're the boss of Elliot...and...well, you know...you're the boss of me and...baby, you're the boss of everyone -- but in this building, Elliot's in charge.

Carla: Am I really the boss of everybody outside of here?

Turk: Baby, you the boss of everybody in the world.

She looks pleased with that.

Turk: Okay.

They kiss, and she goes back to work.

J.D. is already at the other end of the desk, going over a chart.

Janitor: [on PA] Dr. Dorian, Dr. Turk is free for his rectal exam. He said you'd know what that means.

J.D. and Turk give each other a horrified look, and run off in opposite directions.

~*~

PATIENT'S ROOM

Dr. Cox sits in the vacant room, reading a letter.

J.D.'s Narration: Dear Dr. Cox, I think it's important that you know how much I care for Danni, and how hurt I was by your attempt to sabotage our relationship.

Dr. Cox, exasperated, stops reading and looks at J.D. who is standing right next to him.

Dr. Cox: Oh, de-de-de--isn't it enough that I'm reading it!?

J.D.: Oh, I'm sorry.

There's a flush from the bathroom, and Jill Tracy emerges.

Jill: Always fun to be in the bathroom listening to people talk so clearly, you're sure they just heard you pee. You did, didn't you.

J.D.: You start and stop a lot.

Dr. Cox: Lovely. Here.

He shoves the letter back to J.D. and stands, the 15-second timer popping up.

Dr. Cox: Uh, actually there's great news, uh, Ms. Tracy: We're sending you home. Although, I sure wish we could have figured out how that stuff got introduced into your system to begin with. But sometimes in medicine you have to just chalk it up to life's great mysteries, like crop circles or this gal's Adam's apple.

J.D.: I'm a girl, that's original.

Jill: Hey, you guys, I just want to say, if I don't see you again, thanks and take care.

Dr. Cox: You be well, darlin'.

Time's up.

Dr. Cox: I'll see you next time.

He heads out.

J.D.: Wanna hear a great letter?

Jill: No.

~*~

RESTAURANT -- THAT EVENING

Jordan, Danni, and Dr. Cox are having dinner.

J.D. arrives and takes the vacant seat next to Perry.

J.D.: Hey, everybody. This place has dynamite lamb.

Danni: What are you doing here?

Dr. Cox: I called him. Lookit, after sh**ting my mouth off the other night I've been feeling a lot of...well....

Jordan: Guilt.

Dr. Cox: No. Not that.

J.D.: Guilt?

Dr. Cox: Yes, that.

Jordan: Ugh.

Dr. Cox: I...I don't like her to be right.

J.D.: Look, Danni, I know you're upset about your sister and I--

Danni: J.D., if I didn't go out with the guys my sister slept with, I wouldn't have even had a date to the prom.

J.D.: Then what is it?

Danni: Last night I told you I was falling in love with you. And you know what you said?

J.D.: "Thank you"?

Danni: You asked me if I wanted to go get pizza.

J.D.: No.... _Pineapple_ pizza.

Jordan: [to Danni] Sweetie, you can't take this personally. He's a doctor -- they don't listen to anyone.

Dr. Cox: Please don't lump us all together with numb-nuts over here.

Jordan: Oh, really? This morning I asked you to do me a favor involving my mother. What was it?

Dr. Cox: Well...I can only hope that it had something to do with hiring people to k*ll her?

He crosses his fingers hopefully.

Jordan: Oh, come on. You know what? I hope you guys listen better to your patients.

J.D.'s Narration: And for some reason, right then, we both knew how those pesticides had gotten in our patient's system.

***FLASHBACK: INTERACTION WITH JILL TRACY

Jill: Lucky for me, I couldn't pay my rent this month.

***

Dr. Cox: Say, that's some rock. When's the big day?

Jill: Oh, me? No, no, never -- my fiancé dumped me.

***

Jill: I honestly can't remember the last time anyone was this nice to me.

***

Jill: Hey, you guys, I just want to say, if I don't see you again, thanks and take care.

***END FLASHBACK

J.D. and Dr. Cox stare at each other.

J.D.: She did it to herself.

Dr. Cox: We gotta go.

They quickly get up from the table and leave, Dr. Cox stopping only to give Jordan a quick peck on the cheek.

Meanwhile...

HOSPITAL

Jill is walking out.

J.D.'s Narration: I guess the problem with only listening to a patient for fifteen seconds is, sometimes you don't hear everything...and when you finally realize what they were trying to say, you might've lost them forever.

HOSPITAL ENTRANCE

J.D. and Dr. Cox stop Jill in the parking lot.

J.D.: Ms. Tracy.

Jill: Hey, guys!

J.D.: We need to talk.

Jill: About what?

Dr. Cox: How _have_ things been going lately?

Jill: Okay? Why, uh--

Their concerned faces prompt the truth.

Jill: Ahhh. Actually it has, uh, been a couple of rough months.

She chokes up, and the two doctors guide her back into the hospital.

Dr. Cox: Come on, Jill. Come on.

J.D.'s Narration: You can never underestimate the importance of listening.

Cut to...

PA BOOTH

The Janitor begins another announcement.

Janitor: [on PA] A quick note for all my comatose listeners out there: all your lovers have moved on. But, if it's any consolation, my sources tell me they're happy. Well, snooze, you lose. In other news--

Dr. Kelso bursts in.

Dr. Kelso: Get off that thing.

J.D.'s Narration: Listening can effect your career.

Ted the Lawyer catches up to Kelso.

Lawyer: There you are, you deaf bastard! I hate you so much, every time you utter my name, I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it!

Dr. Kelso: Ted, I can hear now.

Lawyer: Who's Ted?

J.D.'s Narration: Listening can even mend a friendship.

Cut to...

I.C.U.

Elliot and Carla treat a patient.

Elliot: Carla, could you go get--- You know what, forget it.

Carla: No, doctor, just tell me what you need. I'll do it.

Elliot: Just give him one gram of Ancef for prophylaxis.

Carla smiles and goes to fill out the order. Elliot looks relieved to have her friend and partner back.

J.D.'s Narration: Ultimately, it keeps you in the moment...so you don't miss the things that really matter.

Cut to...

DR. COX'S APARTMENT -- LIVING ROOM

J.D. and Danni are cuddled on the couch.

J.D.: So say it again.

Danni: No, you have to earn it.

J.D.: I'll try.

They kiss deeply and the camera pulls back to reveal Dr. Cox and Jordan also on the couch.

Dr. Cox: Oh, for God's sake, we're watching a movie here.

Jordan: [swatting him] Shh!

Dr. Cox: [heavenward] k*ll me.

END
{"type": "series", "show": "Scrubs", "episode": "03x07 - My Fifteen Seconds"}