Nick and Liv in Nick's bedroom. His phone ringing.

NICK: Hey, babes. 'Still at the rugby?' No, the rugby do's done. I'm just on my way home with the boys. We stopped off for...Pop-Tarts. See you soon. Love you too.

LIV: This is never happening again.

NICK: You said that last time. And you called me, remember? You love it! More than you know.

Liv's house.

LIV: Mum?

LIV'S MOTHER: Every night for a week, you turn up looking like a zombie, Olivia. Do not tell me there is nothing to worry about, your entire aura is telling me quite the opposite.

LIV: Mum, I'm fine.

LIV'S MOTHER: You are not fine, Olivia, you are out of control. Where the hell is it?

LIV: What?

LIV'S MOTHER: The purple one. My amethyst. If I show up at the Eternal Circle without my own crystals, I'll look like a bloody day-tripper! Have you hidden it?

LIV: Why would I do that?!

LIV'S MOTHER: I don't know, Olivia. I don't know why any of you do any of the things that you do.

LIV: Is that it? You're welcome.

LIV'S MOTHER: Thank you. Maude! Breakfast. This retreat could be a real breakthrough for me, you know? Maude, your hair looks insane. You haven't been up all night reading again, have you? Fine. Be like that, then. So I'm leaving on a sour note, am I?

LIV: No...

LIV'S MOTHER: Well, that's how it feels. See you in a couple of days. And I'm trusting you with the house.

MAUDE: I liked it better when she was into aliens.

ALO: Houdini! What happened to you at the party last night?

LIV: I had to... Why are you here?

FRANKY: Well, Mini told us to, but...we're not really sure...

MINI: Hi-de-hi! There she is! Head inside, everyone! Come on, Nick.

LIV: What's going on?

ALO: I think someone broke into my bag last night. I'm sure that was you.

MINI: Nick told me everything. And I am so sorry. I'd eaten, like, one sultana that day. Everything after my fashion-show meltdown is kind of a blur. Did we fight?

LIV: You don't remember?

MINI: Oh my God, we did. Can we be friends again? Just, like, forget the whole thing? I'm really sorry, Liv.

LIV: Yeah...I'd like that.

MINI: Thanks, Liv.

LIV: Come in.

MINI: Hi, everybody. Thanks for joining me here. This is really difficult. OK, um, I've been a... complete bitch. To you all. Some more than others. And I'm really sorry. It's just... well, you're all so cool and alternative, and when I'm with you I feel like a bit like... Nicola Roberts. She's the plain one in Girls Aloud. Franky, er, you were right. We could all be awesome mates. I want that now. So do, um, Liv and Nick. So we were wondering if you could find it in your hearts to give us a second chance? Right, guys?

LIV: Yeah. Right.

FRANKY: Well, I'm in. I mean, as long as everything is... in the past, right?

MINI: d*ad and buried. Friends again! Peace in our time!

RICH: This is actually happening, is it ?

ALO: Brilliant. Brilliant.

NICK: Nice one, buddy.

MINI: Group hug!

RICH: No, I don't like hugs.

MINI: Amazing. We're all friends. Oh, and, um, look! I got us all a little present. My mum's back seeing that Hell's Angel. Ta-da!

ALO: No-one leaves till this bag is empty.

MAUDE: If that's really tobacco, then why's it green?

ALO: Tobacco is green.

MAUDE: Then what's she smoking?

ALO: Heroin. Heroin.

FRANKY: He's kidding. It's tobacco.

MAUDE: Why did you tell me that?

ALO: What's it like being ginger?

NICK: You OK?

LIV: Stay away, please.

NICK: Do you think she knows?

LIV: She can't. How can she?

MINI: What are you two whispering about?

LIV: Nick's having trouble making friends.

MINI: Oh, sweetie! Just smile and nod if you're having trouble.

NICK: Yeah.

MINI: Mm, this needs some gin.

LIV: Er...that's my mum's expensive stuff.

MINI: You were wrong, by the way. He does love me.

LIV: OK.

MINI: It's reached a whole new level. It's weird I used to be that hung up about sex, when now it's just all the time. I've got carpet burns on my ears. So good. 

LIV: I'm happy for you.

MINI: Don't know how I let it bother me so much. As if anything could get in the way of me and Nick being together.

LIV: What's going on here?

MINI: Everyone's having such a good time. It really would be a shame if you spoiled it. You know what this needs? Sherry.

LIV: Hmm. You're right. OK, I'll go get some.

MINI: You do that.

LIV: You're coming with me.

MAUDE: Oi! Who needs fresh air? It's all over the place. I want to party.

LIV: What about the sci-fi season? You said you wanted to go, right?

MAUDE: Frak, yeah! Mum said I couldn't.

LIV: Enjoy.

MAUDE: What about you? What are you doing?

LIV: I'll come back soon. Don't worry.

MAUDE: You're going to see Bella, aren't you? Why can't I come? She's my sister too.

LIV: Do I love you?

MAUDE: Indeed you do.

LIV: See you in a bit.

Front of the prison.

LIV: You all right?

BELLA: Mmm. Got a blade in my pants. I've just come from the shower. Had to sort some bitch for stealing my shampoo. She looks a bit like you now. When are you going to bring Maude along, man? I miss her.

LIV: I don't think Mum'd be too into that. 

BELLA: Ah. Still trying to keep Mum happy? For me?

LIV: Look, OK. I f*cked Nick. And I know that's wrong, right, but I think Mini knows, and she's trying to pretend nothing happened, and I did it again and... Why should I feel guilty when Mini's always f*cking playing me?

BELLA: If she wants to say it never happened, say it never happened. Everyone's a winner. Keep it simple.

LIV: Yeah, but...

BELLA: Liv! If I can survive a place like this, you can say you didn't f*ck some boy.

LIV: Well, thanks, sis.

BELLA: Stop being a p*ssy.

To the station.

LIV: Have I met you before?

MATTY: You'll have to do better than that.

LIV: No, I wasn't trying to... Whatever.

MAN: Oh!

LIV: I'm so sorry. Are you OK?

MAN: Don't worry about it. I can't run for ever. Here. Enjoy that. You make a lovely couple. Emancipation from the bondage of the soil is no freedom for the tree.

POLICEMAN: Come here!

MAN: Thanks for your help there, miss.

LIV: You're welcome.

POLICEMAN: I'm arresting you for possession of Class A drugs. You don't have to say anything...

LIV: Oi! Where are you going?

MATTY: Haven't decided yet.

LIV: That's mine.

MATTY: Well, he gave it to me.

LIV: Because he thought you were with me.

MATTY: Well, I'm not.

LIV: What was it, anyway?

MATTY: Ooh! You ever seen crystals that colour before?

LIV: No. Let's do it.

MATTY: I don't know who you are.

LIV: So? It'll be fun.

MATTY: Fun? I'm just trying to get out of this sh*thole.

LIV: I hate this town too. Let's get f*cked, burn it to the ground, dance on the embers, and then you can get on your coach.

MATTY: Done.

LIV: Let's go.

MATTY: So, what are we going to do, then?

LIV: Well, we stole this day.

MATTY: It doesn't count. So we can do what we want.

LIV: We're going to need to make some rules, though.

MATTY: What?

LIV: Keep it simple. No future, no names, no touching. This is not a hook-up. I've got interpersonal issues. And syphilis.

MATTY: OK.

LIV: The reason I chose you is cos you're little, and I do karate. This is, like, a one-day-only deal. And if I see you on the street tomorrow, I am going to blank you, so don't get weepy about it.

MATTY: Fine. I'm leaving tomorrow.

LIV: Good. b*mb away.

MATTY: So we just wait, do we? Till we come up?

LIV: Hmm. We could get some booze... but I've haven't any money.

MATTY: Do we need money?

LIV: Let's see.

MAN: Gordon? It's your wife. The twins have found your figurines, and one of them's choking on a hobbit.

GORDON: Which one?

MAN: It's not Frodo, is it? That's valuable.

GORDON: Which kid, you idiot? For God's sake, this is all I need. Yes, darling. I can hear you. Calm down!

LIV: Thanks. Come again.

MATTY: I'm stealing this.

LIV: Just go.

MATTY: Bye!

GORDON: Oi! Stop those kids!

MATTY: How you feeling?

LIV: Amazing. You dick. He could have caught us!

MATTY: What's the point of doing it if you don't enjoy the chase?

LIV: You're a bad influence.

MATTY: Who's that?

LIV: My husband.

MATTY: Really? f*ck him.

LIV: You've shoplifted before, haven't you?

MATTY: Everything I'm wearing I stole.

LIV: Sweet. Give me your watch, then.

MATTY: No, this was a gift. My brother gave it to me. Everything else, though, was nicked.

LIV: My sister took me shoplifting once. She had this special coat with massive pockets.

MATTY: Yeah? Can I have her number?

LIV: Have you no shame?

MATTY: No. You can take all this back to the garage if you really want to. I'm sure he'd be happy to see us again. Tricky, without receipts.

LIV: Cheers. You're not real. You're like a Charles Dickens character named Teddy Sextramp. What do you think?

MATTY: Teddy Sextramp?

LIV: Teddy Sextramp, who I met with drug dealers and police, and we go shoplifting, and who said it was OK to look at strangers that way? Cos it's too much, Teddy. And yes, I would say yes. I'm coming up. How about you?

MATTY: I think so. How are my pupils?

LIV: Open your mouth and say "ah".

LIV: Let's check it out.

MATTY: Hello?Hello? 

LIV: Whoo.

MATTY: Don't worry. She doesn't bite.

MAN: Can I help you?

LIV: Oh, we're just browsing...

MATTY: Just browsing at your rat.

MAN: She's a mouse. I made the whiskers myself. I have a wonderful three-piece suit that would fit you, young man. Hmm... Ah! And for the lady... Yes. Yes, try it on.We'll leave you to it. I might just hang out with her.

LIV: How's this?

MAN: Sharp. See if you like the lining.

LIV: No, I'm in here.

MAN: I wonder if you wouldn't mind looking up, into the camera, there.

LIV: Now, let me help. What are you doing?

MAN: I wouldn't normally, but you seem so accommodating.

LIV: No. I don't want to! Take it off! Get off me! Get off me!

MAN: I need to see you!

LIV: f*cking perv.

MATTY: Evidence.

LIV: Need to get that f*cking CCTV tape. Where is it?

MATTY: Got it.

MATTY: Today, we take this perv's dosh and rinse him dry. Tape, money, let's go.

WOMAN: Hello, is anyone there? I need to return my costume.

LIV: We need to get out of here.

MATTY: What's the matter?

LIV: Starting to hurt.

MATTY: Is there any more?

LIV: Table manners.

MATTY: The rules.

LIV: It still hurts.

MATTY: That means nothing. Trust me. My hand kills from when I punched my brother, but he was fine. And the perv will be too. It's OK. We did nothing wrong. Anyway, we were never there, remember?

LIV: I still think we should check.

MATTY: OK.

LIV: It's not a good idea.

MATTY:OK. We just walk past, yeah?

LIV: He's d*ad.

MATTY: Pervs don't die. He'll be back.

LIV: Well, he's hurt, right? Where were you going today, with your bag?

MATTY: Don't know. Away. Into the countryside somewhere.

LIV: Can I come? Can we go together?

MATTY: Are you serious?

LIV: Yeah. f*ck that guy. We'll just go. We'll run away.

MATTY: Refill?

LIV: Refill. Where are we going to go?

MATTY: Let's go first thing tomorrow. We're not done with tonight yet. Whatever we do, it's you and me. You and me. Always.

LIV: This is real, right?

MATTY: This is real.

LIV: Let's go. Yeah?

ALO: Richard... Richard! You fell asleep, you f*cking amateur!

RICH; No, I didn't.

GRACE: Oh. Franky's gone. What a lightweight. Olivia?

LIV: That's my name.

MATTY: It's lovely.

RICH: Didn't even get the sherry.

LIV: What the hell are you doing? That's my bed.

MINI: And I'm in it with my boyfriend.

LIV: Whatever. I'm out of here, anyway.

MINI: Who's he?

MATTY: Hi. Sorry. I'm Matty.

MINI: Matty?

MATTY: Matty.

NICK: Matthew? What the f*ck?

MATTY: Nicholas?

MINI: Have I missed something?

NICK: Yeah. He's my brother.

LIV: Shit. They're brothers.

MATTY: Don't worry, I'm leaving. We're just leaving.

MINI: Nick!

NICK: Whatever he's told you, don't believe him. He's a psycho. 

MATTY: Why do you care? You've got to be sh1tting me. You and her?

LIV: Party is over. Everybody out!

MATTY: Liv...

LIV: Don't touch me!

MATTY: Whatever's going on, I don't care.

LIV: Yeah, well, I do.

MATTY: I don't care about him. It's you and me.

LIV: I don't know you... and I don't trust you. So get the f*ck out of my house. And the rest of you. Out!

LIV : Franky!

FRANKY: Where is everyone?

LIV: Party's over and leave me alone?

FRANKY: What's going on with you and Mini?

LIV: What do you care? It's between me and her.

FRANKY: All that hate and blame is... toxic. 

LIV: Or are you just a bit too f*cking sensitive?

FRANKY: I watched this earlier. Liked it. 

On the video.

MINI: Ready? Good afternoon. This is the news. Today, it has been revealed that geography teacher Mr Beale has no penis... but Liv fancies him anyway.

LIV: I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.

LIV: Good afternoon. Today, it was revealed that Kirsty, Kelly and Marilyn are all slags. It has also been revealed that Sam is a fat slag, Dionne is a dozy slag,and Miss Page is a total f*cking slut. 

On the radio. 

VOICE: When emergency services were called in response to a reported robbery at Nimmo's Costume Emporium, owned and managed by Stanley Nimmo, a well-known and popular figure in the area. It was when Mr Nimmo was being treated for his injuries that police found evidence of covert surveillance in the shop's changing rooms. It is understood Mr Nimmo attempted to flee the scene, and was restrained by police, who later charged him with possession of indecent material.

LIV: He's OK.

MAUDE: Are you crying?

LIV: No. I'm fine.

MAUDE: Really? Well, I'm not. I've just walked home.

LIV: Oh, God, Maude, I'm so sorry...

MAUDE: You said you'd come back. I watched the whole thing waiting.

LIV: Shit, I'm really sorry. You must be starving.

MAUDE: I'm not hungry. You're a crap shit.

LIV: Doesn't sound right when you swear.

MAUDE: It doesn't sound right when you try to be cool. You're not cool. And I am swearing now, because you let me down. So deal with that, f*ck. Eat that, sister. 

BELLA: What are you doing back here?

LIV: I want to talk about you and Mum. 

BELLA: This thing between us, do you?

LIV: If we can't talk about that, we can't talk about anything.

BELLA: Oh, for f*ck's sake, Liv! Just keep it simple!

LIV: Our whole family's been trying that, and we're falling apart.

BELLA: She deserved what I did to her. She's a psycho control freak, who drove Dad away and tried to blame it on me. Every f*cking day. I hate her, and she hates me, so what is there to talk about?

LIV: Me and Maude? I'm not coming back here.

BELLA: You're never going to be me.

LIV: Yeah, I know.

VOICE: The coach for Swansea is now leaving from Bay 4. Now boarding at Bay 4, for Swansea.

At the station.

LIV: The costume shop guy's OK.

MATTY: Yeah, I saw.

LIV: But you're going anyway?

MATTY: I always was. Nothing's changed.

LIV: Everything's changed.

MATTY: No, we just got wasted. Nice f*cking you.

LIV: Watch yourself!

MATTY: You don't trust me, remember?

LIV: I'm sorry. What can I do?

MATTY: I'll break your fingers.

LIV: No, you won't. Stay.

MATTY: I can't do this on my own.

LIV: Matty Sextramp! Keep it. Someone you trust.

MATTY: That'll k*ll you.

LIV: I'm sorry. I trust you.

LIV: Like a fox ate my brain and shat it back into my head. Still just about works though. Are we...? What are we?

MATTY: We're OK. Just like your brain.

LIV: Don't kiss me. I stink.

MATTY: I can handle it.

LIV: Did I disgrace myself?

MATTY: No.

MATTY: We broke into someone's house.

LIV: Whose?

MATTY: Mine.

NICK: Who's in here?

MATTY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nick, it's me.

LIV: And me.

NICK: Are you OK?

LIV: I'm fine. Better go.

MATTY: I'll see you.

LIV: Thank you.

NICK: What are you doing here?

MATTY: I'm sorry I h*t you. I need to come back. Please talk to Dad for me. I thought it was burglars. I'm sorry.

NICK: You totally lost it with us, Matty.

MATTY: Please can you talk to Dad? I want to come back. 

LIV: Do you remember how we became friends? I'd been crying all morning and you came over to me. I thought you were going to give me a tissue, like everyone else who knew what happened. But instead, you gave me these... in the middle of winter. I felt so cool with you. And we were so much better than all those nice boys and girls, like we knew a secret they didn't. But we don't tell each other our secrets... do we? I owe you so much. Can I try and explain what happened?

MINI: Why would you do that?

LIV: So we'd have a chance. I'm so sorry, Mini.

MINI: Nick told me you drank a bottle of vodka to apologise to his brother. Funny. Out of all the boys in town, you ended up with him.

LIV: What can I do to make it OK? Just tell me, I'll do it. Anything.

LIV: You're joking? You're joking?

MINI: If you mean it.

LIV: Mins, my stomach is, like, raw.

MINI: Good.

LIV: Can't we just talk?

MINI: After you show me how sorry you are.

LIV: I can't...

MINI: Do it. If you're really sorry. I hope you die puking up your kidneys. Bitch!

LIV: Mum? Mum, are you here?

LIV'S MOTHER: Maude?

LIV: It's me.

LIV'S MOTHER: What have you been doing? Look at the state of you, again.

LIV: Mum, it's been horrible. Mini hates me, I don't know what to do.

LIV'S MOTHER: It's all a party to you, isn't it? I trusted you with my house, Olivia.

LIV: I'm sorry. How was the retreat?

LIV'S MOTHER: Pointless. It's all pointless, Liv. I do know my hobbies are ridiculous. But I can't just jet away like your dad, so what can I do? Maude's out. Did you see the mess she left in the kitchen? She's so angry. What do I do? Send her away somewhere?

LIV: Maude's fine.

LIV'S MOTHER: Throwing crockery is not fine. I will not have v*olence in this house, Olivia.

LIV: Maude didn't throw it. I did.

LIV'S MOTHER: Why would you do that?
{"type": "series", "show": "Skins", "episode": "5x04 - Liv"}