Christmas special episode

A familiar sh*t; we begin, as usual, with the sweeping camera move from the moon to the Earth, zooming in on 21st century London.

INT. CHURCH

A bride, Donna, is about to be given away by her father. They are ready to walk down the aisle. Donna's father, Geoff, has his arm linked through hers rather than the other way round, Donna swaps their positions with a slight cough.

GEOFF: Sorry.

The organ begins to play and Donna sighs happily. The congregation stands. Donna's fiance, Lance, catches her eye from the front of the church and they smile at one another in anticipation. Donna and Geoff begin to walk slowly down the aisle, which elicits sounds of appreciation from their friends and family, except from one blonde woman, Nerys, who looks Donna up and down with a look of pure contempt.

They are about halfway down the aisle when Donna starts to glow gold. Lance's eyes widen. It takes Donna a moment to notice, but when she does, she screams long and loud. The congregation members mutter excitedly as Donna disappears in a puff of golden dust, which then zooms upwards and through the ceiling.

INT. TARDIS

The TARDIS is exactly where we left it in "Doomsday", in orbit around a super nova. The golden dust flies straight through the walls and reassembles itself in the form of Donna in the console room. The Doctor looks up from the controls in alarm.

THE DOCTOR (aghast): What??

Donna spins around to face him with a yelp.

DONNA: Who are you?

THE DOCTOR (looks around, dumbfounded): But...

DONNA: Where am I?

THE DOCTOR: What??

DONNA (voice rises): What the hell is this place?

THE DOCTOR: What??!

OPENING CREDITS

INT. TARDIS

THE DOCTOR (looking around for some explanation, bewildered): You can't do that, I wasn't... we're in flight! That is... that is physically impossible! How did...??

DONNA (commandingly): Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me right now, where am I?

THE DOCTOR (stares at her): Inside the TARDIS.

DONNA: The what?

THE DOCTOR: The TARDIS.

DONNA: The what?

THE DOCTOR: The TARDIS!

The Doctor turns to the controls.

DONNA: The what??

THE DOCTOR: It's called the TARDIS.

DONNA (angrily): That's not even a proper word. You're just saying things.

THE DOCTOR: How did you get in here?

DONNA (rigid with rage): Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me. Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh, my God, she's finally got me back. This has got Nerys written all over it.

The Doctor watches her rant, looking her up and down with utter confusion.

THE DOCTOR: Who the hell is Nerys?

DONNA: Your best friend.

THE DOCTOR: Hold on, wait a minute... what're you dressed like that for?

DONNA: I'm going ten pin bowling. (Yells). Why do you think, Dumbo? I was halfway up the aisle!

The Doctor begins to fiddle with the controls whilst Donna walks around, ranting.

DONNA: I've been waiting all my life for this. I was just seconds away! And then you... I dunno, you drugged me or something!

THE DOCTOR: I haven't done anything!

DONNA: We're having the police on you! Me and my husband, as soon as he is my husband, we're gonna sue the living backside off ya!

The Doctor does not reply, engrossed in operating the controls. Donna notices the doors and rushes over to them. The Doctor looks up in alarm, hurrying after her.

THE DOCTOR (urgently): No, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Don't...!

But too late , Donna has already thrown open the doors and is now looking upon the super nova. Her mouth falls open slightly. The Doctor goes to stand next to her.

THE DOCTOR: You're in space. Outer Space. This is my... space-ship. It's called the TARDIS.

DONNA: How am I breathing?

THE DOCTOR: The TARDIS is protecting us.

DONNA: Who are you?

THE DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. You?

DONNA: Donna.

THE DOCTOR (looks her up and down): Human?

DONNA: Yeah. Is that optional?

THE DOCTOR: Well, it is for me.

Donna glances around at him, but there's not much room for more surprise.

DONNA: You're an alien.

THE DOCTOR: Yeah.

DONNA (after a moment): It's freezing with these doors open.

So the Doctor slams them shut and darts back to the console.

THE DOCTOR: But I don't understand it and I understand everything! This... this can't happen! There is no way a Human Being can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside. It must be...

Suddenly he's all energy, he grabs an ophthalmoscope and uses it to look into Donna's eyes, all the while muttering an endless flow of techno-babble. Donna is stuck silent with confusion.

THE DOCTOR: Impossible. Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA within the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic...

She slaps him.

THE DOCTOR (indignantly): What was that for??

DONNA (yells): Get me to the church!

THE DOCTOR (dropping his instruments and going back to the controls): Right! Fine! I don't want you here anyway! Where is this wedding?

DONNA: Saint Mary's, Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System.

Donna suddenly spots a blouse slung over one of the railings. It's one of Rose's, the purple one she was wearing in "New Earth". She snatches it up.

DONNA (accusingly): I knew it. Acting all innocent.

She strides over to the Doctor and shows him the blouse.

DONNA: I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?

The Doctor looks up from the controls and his eyes fall to the garment in Donna's hands. His face falls.

THE DOCTOR (quietly): That's my friend's.

DONNA (sarcastically): Where is she, then? Popped out for a space walk?

THE DOCTOR: She's gone.

DONNA: Gone where?

THE DOCTOR (after a moment): I lost her.

DONNA (furiously): Well, you can hurry up and lose me.

She watches him for a moment, suddenly seeming to realise this is a sensitive topic.

DONNA: How do you mean, "lost"?

The Doctor looks up at her darkly and advances; for a moment, Donna looks fearful but he only snatches Rose's blouse away from her. He makes towards the doors.

THE DOCTOR: Right! Chiswick.

INT. CHURCH

There is much commotion and a large crowd of confused friends and families inside Saint Mary's church. Donna's mother, Sylvia, pushes her way through the throngs whilst talking to someone on her mobile.

SYLVIA: No, she didn't run away. We're not talking jitters. She literally vanished. Now, go and check the house and see if she's there.

She hangs up.

SYLVIA (addressing someone in the crowd): Oh, Angelica, that's not helping, is it? Now, smarten up.

ANGELICA: Sorry.

Donna's fiance, Lance, comes towards her.

SYLVIA: Lance, any sign?

LANCE: I've looked all around and I can't find her. Where the hell did she go??

He disappears into the crowd.

SYLVIA (to Geoff): Showing off, that's what she is! First day at school, she was sent home for biting.

GEOFF: Well, it's a bit more serious than that. She's never disappeared before!

SYLVIA (contemptuously): She didn't disappear, it's a trick! It's one of her silly little "look at me" party pieces. (Suddenly worried). What if she's d*ad?

GEOFF: Oh, don't say that!

EXT. LONDON STREET

Donna alights from the TARDIS, the right time, the right planet, but unfamiliar surroundings.

DONNA: I said: Saint Mary's. What sort of Martian are you? Where's this?

The Doctor strokes the TARDIS with concern.

THE DOCTOR: Something's wrong with her...

Donna rolls her eyes.

THE DOCTOR: It's like she's... recalibrating!

He rushes back into the TARDIS and over to the console.

THE DOCTOR: She's digesting.

Donna is standing outside with her mouth open . She's finally noticed what she's stepped out of and how small it is in comparison to its interior.

THE DOCTOR (one hand on the rotor): What have you eaten? What's wrong? (Calls). Donna? You've really gotta think. Is there anything that might've caused this?

Donna isn't listening, she's pacing around the outside of the TARDIS, feeling the walls in utter bewilderment.

THE DOCTOR: Anything you might've done? Any sort of alien contacts? I can't let you go wandering off in case you're dangerous. I mean, have you... have you seen lights in the sky? Or... did you touch something? Something... something different? Something strange? Something made out of a sort of metal or... who're you getting married to?

All the while, Donna has completed her circuit of the TARDIS and has popped her head back inside, as if to check whether she wasn't just imagining how big it was. Having confirmed this, she stumbles backwards, hands over her mouth.

THE DOCTOR: Are you sure he's human? He's not a bit overweight with a zip around his forehead, is he?

The strangeness of the TARDIS is too much for Donna, she runs. The Doctor runs after her.

THE DOCTOR: Donna!

He falls into step beside her.

THE DOCTOR: Donna.

DONNA: Leave me alone. I just want to get married.

THE DOCTOR: Come back to the TARDIS.

DONNA: No way. That box is too... weird.

THE DOCTOR: It's... bigger on the inside, that's all.

DONNA: Oh! That's all?

She sighs exaggeratedly and checks her watch.

DONNA (suppressing tears): Ten past three. I'm gonna miss it.

THE DOCTOR: You can phone them. Tell them where you are.

DONNA: How do I do that?

THE DOCTOR: Haven't you got a mobile?

Donna stops and stares at him.

DONNA: I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting, do you think I said "Alison, the one thing I forgot to say is give me pockets"?!

THE DOCTOR: ... This man you're marrying, what's his name?

DONNA (suddenly all loved-up): Lance.

THE DOCTOR: Gotta like Lance.

DONNA (changing manner with terrifying abruptness): Oi! No stupid Martian is gonna stop me from getting married. To hell with you!

She runs off.

THE DOCTOR (feebly): I'm... I'm not... I'm not... I'm not from Mars.

He runs after her.

EXT. SOME DIFFERENT LONDON STREET

Donna runs down a busy street.

DONNA: Taxi!

The Doctor joins her. The taxi ignores them.

DONNA: Why's his light on??

THE DOCTOR (pointing): There's another one!

He runs to try and catch it.

DONNA: Taxi!

They stumble into the road in their effort to catch the driver's attention, but again, it just drives straight past.

DONNA: Oi!

THE DOCTOR: There's one!

He runs, waving for attention. And again, it ignores them.

DONNA: Oi!

THE DOCTOR: Do you have this effect on everyone? Why aren't they stopping?

DONNA: They think I'm in fancy dress.

Another taxi drives past, the driver hooting his horn.

TAXI DRIVER: Stay off the scotch darlin'!

DONNA: They think I'm drunk.

Two guys in their car yell out of the window as they drive past.

DRIVER AND PASSENGER: You're fooling no-one, mate!

DONNA: They think I'm in drag!

The Doctor looks Donna up and down appraisingly.

THE DOCTOR: Hold on, hold on.

He puts his fingers between his lips and whistles, long and piercing, causing Donna to wince and cover her ears. However, it attracts the attention of a taxi, which grinds to a halt before them. The Doctor and Donna clamber in the back seat.

DONNA (instructing the driver): Saint Mary's in Chiswick, just off Hayden Road. It's an emergency, I'm getting married! Just... hurry up!

TAXI DRIVER: You know it'll cost you, sweetheart? Double rates today.

DONNA: Oh, my God! (To the Doctor): Have you got any money?

THE DOCTOR: Um... no. And you?

DONNA (gesturing her dress violently): Pockets!

The taxi screeches to a halt and they're out. The Doctor slams the door.

DONNA (yells at driver): And that goes double for your mother!

The taxi drives off.

DONNA: I'll have him. I've got his number. I'll have him. Talk about the Christmas Spirit.

THE DOCTOR (looks around, vaguely surprised): Is it Christmas?

DONNA: Well, duh. Maybe not on Mars, but here it's Christmas Eve.

She hits him, having spotted something in the distance.

DONNA: Phone box!

They rush towards it.

DONNA: We can reverse the charges!

THE DOCTOR: How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?

DONNA: Can't bear it. I hate Christmas. Honeymoon in Morocco. Sunshine, lovely.

They reach the phone box, the Doctor holds the door open for Donna.

DONNA: What's the operator? I've not done this in years. What do you dial? 100?

THE DOCTOR (applying his sonic screwdriver to the phone): Just... just call the direct.

The dial tone buzzes on the end of the receiver.

DONNA (demandingly): What did you do?

THE DOCTOR (distracted, looking around): Something... Martian. Now, phone. I'll get money!

He sprints to the nearest cash machine. The man currently using it in front of him is being aggravatingly slow. The Doctor hops from foot to foot impatiently.

DONNA (still in the phone box): Ohh, answer the phone!

She punches the numbers out.

INT. CHURCH

At the church, Sylvia's phone rings.

SYLVIA: Hello?? Oh, no! The battery's gone! Has anyone got a charger?

LANCE: Have you tried the hotel? Hello? Hello?? (His phone goes d*ad). Vicar, is your phone working? Mine's run out!

VICAR (ignoring him, already on the phone): I've got one wedding about to arrive and another wedding refusing to leave, so yes, I do think it's a police matter.

EXT. STREET

DONNA (leaving a message): Mum, get off the phone and listen. I'm in... (looks around). Oh, my God... I dunno where I am! It's... it's a street. And there's WH Smith... but it's definitely Earth.

The Doctor is still waiting to use the cash machine, growing more agitated by the second. Finally the man in front of him leaves. The Doctor darts forwards, casting a furtive look about him before using his sonic screwdriver to retrieve cash from the machine. Donna leaves the phone box, out of breath. She approaches a woman at random on the street.

DONNA: Excuse me... I'm begging you. I'm getting married, I really am and I'm late and I just need to borrow a tenner and I'll pay you back I promise and it's Christmas.

The Doctor takes the cash. His eye is caught by a row of masked Santa's playing trumpets a short distance away. He watches them, remembering his last encounter with similar Santa's, suspicions aroused.

DONNA: Taxi!

A taxi pulls up beside her, she converses with the driver for a few seconds before shouting back to the Doctor.

DONNA: Thanks for nothing, spaceman! I'll see you in Court.

She climbs into the taxi and it drives away. The driver is a masked Santa.

THE DOCTOR (shouts after them): Donna!

But they've gone. The Doctor looks back at the Santa's playing the trumpets. One of them lowers his trumpet ominously. Now all three of them are held like w*apon. The Doctor sonics the cash machine causing notes to fly everywhere and there is mad scramble and confusion as people run around trying to catch the money and stuff it into their pockets. The Doctor runs back in the direction of the TARDIS.

INT. TAXI

Donna and the masked Santa drive along in the taxi.

DONNA: I promise you, mate, I'll give you the rest when we get there. Oh, I look a mess.

She takes her veil off, trying to catch her breath.

DONNA: Hurry up!

EXT. STREET

The Doctor reaches the TARDIS doors at a sprint.

INT. TAXI

DONNA: Hold on a minute, I said: Chiswick. You've missed the turning. (No response from the driver). 'Scuse me? We should've turned off back there. We're going the wrong way!

The Doctor pummels the TARDIS into action with his usual equipment, namely his fists and a hammer. The rotor starts to rise and fall.

INT. TAXI

The taxi now joins the motorway and cuts across the lanes, causing other drivers to beep their horns angrily.

DONNA: What the hell are you doing? I'm late for the wedding. My own wedding. Do you get that?

INT. TARDIS

The Doctor traces the taxi's progress on his monitor.

INT. TAXI

DONNA (yells): Turn around! Turn this cab around right now! Are you deaf or what?

She lunges forward, pulling the Santa hood off the driver. His mask falls off, revealing a robot underneath. Donna sits back in her seat, shocked.

DONNA: Oh, my God.

She starts pushing the door and window, looking for a way out, trying to attract the attention of other drivers.

DONNA (frantic): Help me! Help me! Help me! (Pummels the glass). Help me! Help me!

A man in a red van notices her, looks concerned, but is powerless to help since they're on a motorway.

DONNA: Help me! Help me! Get me out! Help me! Help me! I'm being driven by a robot!

INT. TARDIS

Sparks fly from the TARDIS console and it tilts dangerously.

THE DOCTOR (hitting it with a hammer): Behave!

INT. TAXI

The TARDIS falls out of the sky just above Donna's taxi, spinning through the air.

DONNA: ... you are kidding me.

Two children stare through the back window of their car, amazed.

INT. TARDIS

The Doctor attaches string to the console so he can operate the controls from the door. He then stumbles over to the doors, string between teeth, and throws it open. The TARDIS is in line with the taxi, zooming along beside it on the motorway. Donna stares at him, hands pressed against the window.

THE DOCTOR (yells to her): Open the door!

DONNA: Do you what?

THE DOCTOR: Open the door!

DONNA: I can't, it's locked!

The Doctor sonics the door, enabling Donna to push the window down.

DONNA (like he didn't already know): Santa's a robot.

THE DOCTOR: Donna, open the door.

DONNA: What for??

THE DOCTOR: You've got to jump!

The robot driver turns his head slightly at this.

DONNA (shrilly): I'm not bleedin' flip jumping, I'm supposed to be getting married!

The robot puts his foot down and the taxi overtakes the TARDIS. The Doctor pulls on the string, causing random expl*si*n from the console once more and the TARDIS bangs the roof of the car of a distressed man before pulling itself back in line with the taxi. The children, still watching, mutter to each other excitedly. The Doctor struggles to regain his balance, then sonics the robot, disabling it.

THE DOCTOR: Listen to me, you've got to jump.

DONNA (obstinately): I'm not jumping on a motorway.

THE DOCTOR: Whatever that thing is, it needs you. And whatever it needs you for, it's not good. Now, come on!

DONNA (yelling to match him): I'm in my wedding dress!

THE DOCTOR (exasperated): Yes! You look lovely! Come on!

Breathing heavily with fear, Donna opens the door and positions herself ready to jump. The Doctor holds out his arms to catch her. The children are chanting "jump! Jump! '"from inside their car.

DONNA (fearfully): I can't do it.

THE DOCTOR (calmly): Trust me.

DONNA: Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did she trust you?

THE DOCTOR: Yes, she did. And she is not d*ad. She is so alive. Now, jump!

So Donna, with a scream, jumps and lands on top of the Doctor in a heap on the floor. The children cheer, the doors slam closed and the TARDIS zooms back up into the sky.

EXT. ROOF

Donna looks at her watch. It's just gone half three. The Doctor has landed them on the roof of some high rise building and is now coughing and spluttering as he tries to extinguish the smoke billowing from the TARDIS doors.

THE DOCTOR (joining Donna): The funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't really do that much flying. We'd better give her a couple of hours. You all right?

DONNA (shrugs): Doesn't matter.

THE DOCTOR: Did we miss it?

DONNA: Yeah.

THE DOCTOR: Well, you can book another date...

DONNA: Course we can.

THE DOCTOR: Still got the honeymoon...

DONNA: It's just a holiday now.

THE DOCTOR: Yeah... yeah... sorry.

DONNA: It's not your fault.

THE DOCTOR: Oh! That's a change.

DONNA: Wish we had a time machine. Then we could go back and get it right.

THE DOCTOR: ... Yeah, yeah. But... even if I did, I couldn't go back on someone's personal timeline. Apparently.

Donna gives the Doctor a suspicious glance before going to sit on the edge of the roof. The Doctor sits next to her, removing his jacket and draping it around her shoulders.

DONNA: God, you're skinny. This wouldn't fit a rat.

THE DOCTOR: Oh and you'd better put this on.

He produces what looks like a wedding ring from his pocket.

DONNA: Oh, do you have to rub it in?

THE DOCTOR: Those creatures can trace you. This is a bio-damper. Should keep you hidden.

He slips it onto her finger.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D): With this ring, I thee bio-damp.

DONNA: For better or for worse.

The Doctor smiles at her.

DONNA: So, come on then. Robot Santas, what are they for?

THE DOCTOR: Ah, your basic robo-scavenger. The Father Christmas stuff is just a disguise. They're trying to blend in. I met them last Christmas.

DONNA: Why, what happened then?

THE DOCTOR: ... Great big spaceship? Hovering over London? You didn't notice?

DONNA (dismissively): I had a bit of a hangover.

The Doctor decides not to pursue this. He scans the landscape.

THE DOCTOR (nodding in the direction of the Powell Estate): I spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate. With this... family. My friend, she had this family. Well, they were...

He pauses for a moment, lost in thought.

THE DOCTOR: Still... gone now.

DONNA: Your friend... who was she?

THE DOCTOR: Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know...

He contemplates her. Donna rolls her eyes.

THE DOCTOR (pulling his sonic screwdriver out of his jacket pocket): What's your job?

DONNA: I'm a secretary.

THE DOCTOR (scanning her): It's weird, I mean, you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important...

DONNA: This friend of yours, just before she left, did she punch you in the face?

She whacks the screwdriver aside.

DONNA: Stop bleeping me!

THE DOCTOR: What kind of secretary?

DONNA: I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping.

INT. BIG OFFICE

Flashback: Donna's sitting in a crowded, open-plan office space, gazing at her surroundings as though slightly overwhelmed.

DONNA : I mean, it was all a bit posh really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought, I'm never gonna fit in here.

From across the office, Lance catches Donna's eye and gestures to the coffee pot, offering her some.

DONNA: And then he made me a coffee.

Donna gestures to herself and mimes "me?!" with disbelief.

DONNA: I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee.

End flashback.

EXT. ROOF

DONNA: And Lance, he's the head of HR! He don't need to bother with me! But he was nice, he was funny.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING

Flashback: Donna and Lance are laughing and joking at the bottom of a flight of stairs within the office block.

LANCE: She's not that bad!

DONNA: She is!

They laugh hysterically. End flashback.

EXT. ROOF

DONNA: And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So that's how it started, me and him, one cup of coffee. That was it.

THE DOCTOR: When was this?

DONNA: Six months ago.

THE DOCTOR: Bit quick, to get married...

DONNA: Well... he insisted.

INT. BAR

Flashback: Donna and Lance are standing in a crowded bar, when :

DONNA: Will you marry me?

Lance's eyes widen in terror. End flashback.

EXT. ROOF

DONNA: And he nagged... and he nagged me...

INT. OFFICE BUILDING

Flashback: Donna is chasing Lance down several flights of stairs in the office block.

DONNA (imploring): Go on, just think about it! We'd make a great couple! And I'd get rid of the dog... and we could do up that back bedroom.

End flashback.

EXT. ROOF

DONNA: And he just wore me down and then finally, I just gave in.

EXT. STREET

Flashback: Donna and Lance walking down a street, her clinging to his hand.

DONNA: Please? Oh, please? Please? Please, please, please, please, please.

End flashback.

EXT. ROOF

THE DOCTOR: What does HC Clements do?

DONNA: Oh, security systems, you know... entry codes, ID cards, that sort of thing.

INT. OFFICE

Flashback: Donna and Lance smile coyly at one another as he hands her a coffee. The camera focuses in on the name H.C. Clements printed on the window. End flashback.

EXT. ROOF

DONNA: If you ask me, it's a posh name for "locksmiths".

THE DOCTOR (musing): Keys...

DONNA: Anyway, enough of my CV. Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is gonna be so shaming. You can do the explaining, Martian-boy.

THE DOCTOR: Yeah. I'm not from Mars.

Donna nods. The Doctor stands and lends her a hand to help her up.

DONNA: Oh, I had this great big reception all planned. Everyone's gonna be heartbroken.

INT. RECEPTION

However, it looks as though everyone has decided to go on with the reception without Donna. "Merry Christmas Everybody" blares out at full volume, everyone is dancing, drinking, eating and laughing. The Doctor and Donna walk in. Donna looks around at the merriment, thunderstruck. She folds her arms. Sylvia spots her first and freezes. The rest of the room soon follows suit until all is silent and all eyes are on Donna and the Doctor.

DONNA: You had the reception without me?

LANCE: Donna... what happened to ya??

DONNA (raising her voice a notch): You had the reception without me??

An awkward pause.

THE DOCTOR (cheerfully): Hello! I'm the Doctor.

DONNA (turning to him): They had the reception without me.

THE DOCTOR: Yes, I gathered.

NERYS: Well, it was all paid for, why not?

DONNA: Thank you, Nerys.

SYLVIA (approaching Donna): Well, what were we supposed to do? I got your silly little message in the end: "I'm on Earth"? Very funny. What the hell happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick because I'd love to know...

The whole room starts talking at the same time until all Donna can hear is an incomprehensible babble of voices, so she bursts into tears, at which their anger melts into pity. Lance hugs her and she cries into his shoulder. Everyone applauds, and Donna winks at the Doctor through her fake tears. He smirks.

INT. RECEPTION (CONT'D)

The reception party continues as before, except now Donna has joined in with the dancing. The Doctor, leant against the bar, smiles slightly as he watches her. He notices a man with a mobile phone and gestures to borrow it. The man nods and hands it over. The Doctor, putting on his glasses, does a WAP search for H C Clements. He casts a furtive look around the room before using his sonic screwdriver to speed the process up; the result "Sole Prop. TORCHWOOD" is displayed on the screen. The Doctor closes the phone and gives it back to the man, memories now seeming to flood back to him. The music becomes more prominent as he watches the dancing. His eyes fall onto a couple dancing. The man throws the woman backwards over his arm and the Doctor is reminded briefly of the moment on New Earth when Rose fell into his arms after Cassandra left her body. He swallows and looks away. He notices the cameraman in the corner, who is recording the proceedings. The Doctor is at the cameraman's side as he puts a tape in the camera to show the Doctor.

CAMERA MAN: I taped the whole thing, they've all had a look. They said: "sell it to You've Been Framed". I said: "more like the News". Here we are...

He plays the tape, the camera is zoomed in on Donna's face as she seemingly disintegrates into golden particles with a scream.

THE DOCTOR: Can't be! Play it again?

CAMERA MAN: Clever, mind! Good trick, I'll give her that. I was clapping.

The Doctor watches the video again, brow furrowed incredulously.

THE DOCTOR: But that looks like... Huon Particles!

CAMERA MAN: What's that?

THE DOCTOR: That's impossible, that's... ancient! Huon energy doesn't exist anymore, not for billions of years! So old that...

His eyes is suddenly drawn to the ring/biodamper he earlier placed on Donna's finger.

THE DOCTOR: ...it can't be hidden by a biodamper!

He runs as fast as he can to a window, and sure enough, there are the Santas, making their way slowly to the house. He rushes back to Donna.

THE DOCTOR: Donna! Donna, they've found you.

DONNA: But you said I was safe.

THE DOCTOR: The biodamper doesn't work. We've got to get everyone out.

DONNA (looking around at everyone): Oh, my God, it's all my family...

THE DOCTOR: Out the back door!

They run out the back door, only to be confronted with two of the Santas.

THE DOCTOR: Maybe not.

They run back inside. The Doctor darts over to another window and sees two more Santas.

DONNA: We're trapped.

The Santas are holding some kind of remote control, which they raise. The Doctor looks at the Christmas tree in the middle of the room.

THE DOCTOR: Christmas trees...

DONNA: What about them?

THE DOCTOR: They k*ll.

He runs into the crowd.

THE DOCTOR: Get away from the tree!

DONNA: Don't touch the trees!

THE DOCTOR: Get away from the Christmas trees, everyone get away from them!

The Santas are at the ready with their remote controls. Donna ushers a group of little girls away from the Christmas tree.

DONNA: Out! Lance, tell them!

THE DOCTOR: Stay away from the tree!

The Santas press a big red button in the middle of their consoles.

THE DOCTOR: Stay away from the tree!

SYLVIA: Oh, for God's sakes, the man's an idiot! Why? What's a Christmas tree gonna... oh!

She trails off as she observes the baubles float away from the tree in some kind of weird dance. The Doctor watches them mistrustfully as they hover above everyone's heads. Everyone chatters excitedly until they start dive-b*mb around the room and causing small expl*si*n. Everyone starts screaming and running for cover. Donna pulls Lance down to hide under a table with her. The Doctor runs over to the DJ's stand. The Santas are lined up opposite.

THE DOCTOR: Oi! Santa! Word of advice: if you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver...(Into the microphone): ... don't let him near the sound system.

He holds his sonic screwdriver next to the amplifiers and it makes a horrible, high-pitched screeching sound. Everyone covers their ears and the Santas vibrate violently until they fall to pieces. The Doctor removes his sonic screwdriver and then runs to examine the mechanics of the Santas. Everyone begins to get up off the floor.

GEOFF (helping Stan up): All right, Stan... you'll be all right. It's all over.

DONNA (running to two of the children): Michael? Connie?

The Doctor picks up the consoles which the Santas were using.

DONNA: Oh Senita, do something useful.

SYLVIA: But what is it? (Points at Santas). What were they?

DONNA: Just stop wittering, just help 'em.

THE DOCTOR: Look at that, remote control for the decorations (He shows her the hand held consoles) but there's a second remote control for the robots. (He examines the head of one). They're not scavengers anymore. I think someone's taken possession.

DONNA: Never mind all that, you're a doctor, people have been hurt.

THE DOCTOR: Nah, they wanted you alive, look, (he throws her a bauble) they're not active now.

DONNA: All I'm saying, you could help.

THE DOCTOR (holding the head to his hear): Gotta think of the bigger picture... there's still a signal!

And with that, he takes off. Donna makes to follow him when :

SYLVIA (scared): Donna... who is he? Who is that man?

Donna doesn't have an answer for her. She follows the Doctor, leaving Sylvia and Lance staring after her.

EXT. OUTSIDE RECEPTION HALL

Donna follows the Doctor outside where he stands scanning the helmet with his sonic screwdriver.

THE DOCTOR: There's someone behind this, directing the robo-force.

DONNA: But why is it me? What have I done?

THE DOCTOR: If we find the controller, we'll find that out. Oh!

He raises his sonic screwdriver into the air.

THE DOCTOR: It's up there. Something in the sky.

INT. RACNOSS SHIP

"Something in the sky", namely an enormous spider (Empress) with a woman's head and a rasping voice, is watching the Doctor and Donna on a screen.

EMPRESS: Clever, clever, clever boy. Travelling man. He shall come to me and beautiful bride. Such secrets to unlock! I shall descend this night, I shall descend upon this Earth and shine!

A star shaped web is hovering in space over the Earth.

EXT. OUTSIDE RECEPTION HALL

THE DOCTOR: I've lost the signal. Donna, we've got to get to your office, H C Clements. I think that's where it all started. Lance, is it Lance? Can you give me a lift?

He darts off without waiting for an answer.

INT. H C CLEMENS

The Doctor, Donna and Lance arrive at H C Clements. They run into the building and then into Donna's office. The Doctor goes straight to a computer.

THE DOCTOR: This might just be a locksmiths, but H C Clements was brought up twenty three years ago by the Torchwood Institute.

DONNA: Who are they?

THE DOCTOR: They were behind the battle of Canary Wharf.

Blank silence from Donna.

THE DOCTOR: ... Cyberman invasion.

She looks at him inquiringly.

THE DOCTOR: Skies over London full of Daleks?

DONNA: Oh, I was in Spain.

THE DOCTOR: They had Cybermen in Spain.

DONNA: Scuba diving.

THE DOCTOR: That big picture, Donna, you keep on missing it. (He darts over to another computer). Torchwood was destroyed, but H C Clements stayed in business. I think... someone else came in and took over (he whacks the monitor) the operation.

DONNA: But what do they want with me?

THE DOCTOR (giving her his full attention): Somehow you've been dosed with Huon energy. And that's a problem because Huon energy hasn't existed since the Dark times. The only place you'd find a Huon particle now is a remnant in the heart of the TARDIS. See? That's what happened. Say... that's the TARDIS (shows Donna a mug). And that's you. (picks up pencil). The particles inside you activated. The two sets of particles magnetised and whap! (throws pencil into mug). You were pulled inside the TARDIS.

DONNA (weakly): I'm a pencil inside a mug?

THE DOCTOR: Yes, you are. 4H. Sums you up. Lance? What was H C Clements working on? Anything top secret? Special operations? Do not enter?

LANCE (defensively): I don't know, I'm in charge of personnel. I wasn't project manager.

The Doctor holds his sonic screwdriver to the screen and it instantly displays the page he's looking for.

LANCE: Why am I even explaining myself?? What the hell are we talking about?

THE DOCTOR: They make keys, that's the point. And look at this... (A 3D plan of the building on the screen) ... we're on the third floor.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING

The Doctor, Lance and Donna wait for the lift to come down to their floor.

THE DOCTOR: Underneath reception, there's a basement, yes?

The doors ping open and the Doctor goes inside and looks at the controls.

THE DOCTOR: Then how come when you look on the lift, there's a button marked "lower basement"? There's a whole floor which doesn't exist on the official plans. So what's down there, then?

LANCE: Are you telling me this building's got a secret floor?

THE DOCTOR: No, I'm showing you this building's got a secret floor.

DONNA: It needs a key.

THE DOCTOR: I don't.

He sonics the lock.

THE DOCTOR: Right then, thanks you two, I can handle this. See you later.

DONNA: No chance, Martian. You're the man who keeps saving my life, I ain't letting you out of my sight.

She joins him in the lift.

THE DOCTOR: Going down.

DONNA (pointedly): Lance?

LANCE: Maybe I should go to the police.

DONNA: Inside.

Lance meekly joins them in the lift.

THE DOCTOR :To honour and obey?

LANCE: Tell me about it, mate.

DONNA: Oi!

The doors close and the lift descends.

INT. RACNOSS SHIP

The Empress observes the proceedings from her web.

EMPRESS: The bride approaches. She is my key!

INT. OFFICE BUILDING

The lift pings when it reaches the lower basement and the Doctor, Donna and Lance step out into a long, dark, dank corridor, dimly lit with an eerie green light.

DONNA: Where are we? Well, what goes on down here?

THE DOCTOR: Let's find out...

DONNA: Do you think Mr. Clements knows about this place?

THE DOCTOR: The mysterious H C Clements? I think he's part of it. (His eye is caught by something). Oh, look, transport.

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

The Doctor, Donna and Lance trundle down the corridor each standing on their own electric scooters, all looking extremely comical. Donna looks at the Doctor and Lance and bursts out laughing. The Doctor joins in, but Lance doesn't get it. They come to a door which says "Torchwood - authorised personnel only", so naturally they abandon their scooters as the Doctor turns the wheel that will open the door to reveal a ladder. The Doctor peers upwards.

THE DOCTOR: Wait here. Just need to get my bearings. Don't... (points at them both sternly) ... do anything.

He starts up the ladder.

DONNA: You'd better come back.

THE DOCTOR: I couldn't get rid of you if I tried.

Donna smiles. She and Lance watch the Doctor climb the ladder.

LANCE: Donna... have you thought about this? Properly? I mean, this is serious! What the hell are we gonna do??

DONNA (not really listening): Oh, I thought July.

She smiles brightly and then turns her attention back to the Doctor climbing the ladder. The Doctor reaches the top of the ladder where he is confronted with the underside of a manhole. He opens it and climbs out into daylight, he is overlooking the Thames Flood barrier.

THE DOCTOR (jumping off the last rung of the ladder): Thames flood barrier! Right on top of us. Torchwood snuck in and built this place underneath.

DONNA: What, there's like a secret base hidden underneath a major London landmark??

THE DOCTOR: I know! Unheard of.

They enter some kind of laboratory, full of massive test tubes bubbling away and chemistry equipment.

THE DOCTOR: Oh, look at this! Stunning! Particle extrusion!

DONNA: What does it do?

THE DOCTOR: Particle extrusion. Hold on... (He darts over to one of the bubbling tubes and taps it). Brilliant. They've been manufacturing Huon particles. In case my people got rid of Huons, they unravelled the atomic structure.

LANCE: Your people? Who are they? What company do you represent?

THE DOCTOR: Oh, I'm a freelancer. But this lot are rebuilding them. They've been using the river! Extruding them through a flat hydrogen base so they've got the end result, Huon particles in liquid form.

He picks up a small test tube full of the Huon particles.

DONNA: And that's what's inside me?

The Doctor gently turns a knob at the top of the test tube, making the contents glow gold, and Donna with it.

DONNA: Oh, my God!

THE DOCTOR: Because the particles are inert, they need something living to catalyse inside and that's you. Saturate the body and then... Ha! (Donna jumps out of her skin and the Doctor is all mad enthusiasm again). The wedding! Yes, you're getting married, that's it! Best day of your life, walking down the aisle, oh, your body's a battleground! There's a chemical w*r inside! Adrenaline, acetylcholine, wham go the endorphins, oh you're cooking! Yeah, you're like a walking oven! A pressure cooker, a microwave, all churning away, the particles reach boiling point, SHAZAM!

She slaps him.

THE DOCTOR (indignantly): What did I do this time??

DONNA: Are you enjoying this??

The Doctor relaxes, ashamed of himself. Donna walks towards him, breathing heavily in her distress.

DONNA: Right, just tell me, these particles, are they dangerous? Am I safe?

THE DOCTOR (unconvincingly): Yes!

DONNA: Doctor... if your lot got rid of Huon particles... why did they do that?

THE DOCTOR (gently): Because they were deadly.

DONNA: Oh, my God...

THE DOCTOR: I'll sort it out, Donna. Whatever's been done to you, I'll reverse it. I'm not about to lose someone else.

They are distracted by crashes and bangs that seem to come from all around them.

EMPRESS (voice only): Oh, she is long since lost.

One of the walls slides upwards to reveal a secret chamber with an enormous round hole in the floor.

EMPRESS: I have waited so long, hibernating at the edge of the universe...

Lance, eyes widened in horror, hurriedly retreats through the door.

EMPRESS: ... until the secret heart was uncovered and called out to waken!

The walls of the chamber are lined with the armed robots wearing black hoods. Lance runs as fast as he can down the corridor back to the door concealing the ladder, he opens it.

THE DOCTOR (peering down the hole): Someone's been digging... oh, very Torchwood. Drilled by laser. How far down does it go?

EMPRESS: Down and down, all the way to the centre of the Earth!

THE DOCTOR: Really? Seriously? What for?

DONNA (shuffling forwards): Dinosaurs.

THE DOCTOR: What?

DONNA: Dinosaurs?

THE DOCTOR: What are you on about, dinosaurs?

DONNA: That film, Under the Earth, with dinosaurs. Trying to help!

THE DOCTOR: That's not helping.

EMPRESS: Such a sweet couple.

THE DOCTOR: Only a madman talks to thin air and trust me, you don't want to make me mad. Where are you?

INT. RACNOSS SHIP

EMPRESS: High in the sky, floating so high on Christmas Night.

THE DOCTOR (on monitor): I didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom! Come on, let's have a look at you!

EMPRESS: Who are you with such command?

THE DOCTOR (on monitor): I'm the Doctor.

EMPRESS: Prepare your best medicines, doctor-man, for you will be sick at heart.

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

The Empress teleports herself into the chamber, snarling and growling.

THE DOCTOR: The Racnoss... but that's impossible, you're one of the Racnoss!

EMPRESS: Empress of the Racnoss.

Elsewhere in the base, Lance clambers up the ladder and through another corridor.

THE DOCTOR: If you're the Empress, where's the rest of the Racnoss? Or... are you the only one?

EMPRESS: Such a sharp mind.

THE DOCTOR: That's it, the last of your kind. (To Donna): The Racnoss come from the Dark Times, billions of years ago, billions. They were carnivores, omnivores, they devoured whole planets.

EMPRESS: Racnoss are born starving, is that our fault?

DONNA: They eat people?

THE DOCTOR: H C Clements, did he wear those... those erm, black and white shoes?

DONNA: He did! We used to laugh, we used to call him the fat cat in spats.

The Doctor nods and points to a web on the ceiling. A pair of black and white shoes still attached to the unfortunate H C Clements can just be seen poking out.

DONNA: Oh, my God!

EMPRESS: Mm, my Christmas dinner.

She cackles.

THE DOCTOR: You shouldn't even exist! Way back in history, the Fledgling Empires went to w*r against the Racnoss, they were wiped out.

Lance appears on a balcony above the Racnoss, unbeknownst to her. Donna spots him and Lance motions for her to stay silent.

EMPRESS: Except for me.

DONNA (in a bid to distract her): But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing. Oi! Look at me, lady, I'm talking. Where do I fit in? How comes I get all stacked up with these Huon particles?

Lance descends the stairs, axe at the ready.

DONNA: Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me.

EMPRESS: The bride is so feisty!

DONNA: Yes, I am! And I don't know what you are, you big... thing. But a spider's just a spider and an axe is an axe! Now, do it!

Lance swings the axe, the Empress swings around and hisses at the last moment, then he stops. He glances round at Donna and starts to laugh and the Empress laughs with him.

LANCE (to the Empress): That was a good one. Your face!

EMPRESS: Lance is funny.

DONNA: What??

THE DOCTOR (quietly): I'm sorry.

DONNA: Sorry for what? Lance, don't be so stupid! Get her!

LANCE (staring at her pityingly): God, she's thick.

Donna looks right back at him, so confused.

LANCE: Months I had to put up with her. Months. A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map.

DONNA (uncomprehending): I don't understand.

THE DOCTOR: How did you meet him?

DONNA: In the office.

THE DOCTOR: He made you coffee.

DONNA: What??

LANCE (as though addressing an idiot): Every day, I made you coffee.

THE DOCTOR: You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months.

DONNA: He was poisoning me?

THE DOCTOR: It was all there in the job title, the Head of Human Resources.

LANCE: This time, it's personnel.

He and the Racnoss laugh.

DONNA: But... we were getting married.

LANCE: Well, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap..."oh, Brad and Angelina... is Posh pregnant?" X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me, dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia.

Donna listens to this torrent of abuse with an expression of increasing hurt and confusion.

LANCE: I deserve a medal.

THE DOCTOR: Oh, is that what she's offered you? The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you? Her consort?

LANCE: It's better than a night with her.

DONNA (plaintive): But I love you.

LANCE (nastily): That's what made it easy. It's like you said, Doctor, the big picture, what's the point of it all if the Human Race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to... go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?

EMPRESS: Who is this little physician?

LANCE: What she said, Martian.

THE DOCTOR: Oh, I'm sort of... homeless. But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's gonna help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?

LANCE: I think he wants us to talk.

EMPRESS: I think so too.

LANCE: Well, tough! All we need is Donna!

EMPRESS: k*ll this chattering little doctor-man!

DONNA (standing in front of the Doctor): Don't you hurt him!

THE DOCTOR: No, no, it's all right.

DONNA (frightened): No, I won't let them!

EMPRESS: At arms!

The robots point their g*n at the Doctor.

THE DOCTOR: Ah, now. Except.

EMPRESS: Take aim!

THE DOCTOR: Well, I just want to point out the obvious...

EMPRESS: They won't h*t the bride. They're such very good sh*ts.

THE DOCTOR: Just... just... just... hold on, just a tick, just a tiny... just a little... tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So, reverse it... the spaceship comes to her.

He once again tweaks the tube of Huon particles which causes both the particles in the tube and inside Donna to glow.

EMPRESS: f*re!

The robots f*re their g*n, but too late, the TARDIS has already materialised around them and the Doctor and Donna are safe inside.

THE DOCTOR (darting to the console): Off we go!

EMPRESS (incensed): My key! My key!

The TARDIS dematerialises, impervious to the b*ll*ts hitting it.

INT. TARDIS

THE DOCTOR: Oh, you know what I said before about time machines? Well, I lied. And now we're gonna use it.

The TARDIS spins through the vortex.

THE DOCTOR: We need to find out what the Empress of the Racnoss is digging up. If something's buried at the planet core, it must've been there since the beginning. That's just brilliant. Molto bene! I've always wanted to see this. Donna, we're going further back than I've ever been before.

It's only then that he notices Donna's shoulders are shuddering with the silent tears pouring down her cheeks.

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

EMPRESS: If a key is lost, then another must be cut. (shouts). At arms!

Her robots turn their g*n onto Lance.

INT. TARDIS

The TARDIS, having arrived at its destination, clicks quietly as it cools down. The Doctor peers around the console at the miserable Donna sat in one of the chairs.

THE DOCTOR: We've arrived... want to see?

DONNA (unenthusiastically): I s'pose.

The Doctor swings the monitor round.

THE DOCTOR: Oh, that scanner's a bit small. Maybe your way's best. (Goes to the door and waits for Donna). Come on.

Donna stands resignedly and joins him.

THE DOCTOR: No human's ever seen this. You'll be the first.

DONNA: All I want to see is my bed.

THE DOCTOR: Donna Noble, welcome to the creation of the Earth.

He opens the doors onto a spectacular sight. Donna's mouth falls open. The sun shines through beautiful coloured dust and gas clouds, enormous rocks floating around.

THE DOCTOR: We've gone back 4.6 billion years. There's no solar system, not yet. Only dust and rocks and gas. (Points). That's the Sun over there, brand new. Just beginning to burn.

DONNA: Where's the Earth?

THE DOCTOR: All around us... in the dust.

DONNA: Puts the wedding in perspective. Lance was right. We're just... tiny.

THE DOCTOR: No, but that's what you do. The human race. Making sense out of chaos. Marking it out with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it's being observed.

DONNA: So, I came out of all this?

THE DOCTOR: Isn't that brilliant?

A massive chunk of rock floats lazily past the TARDIS.

DONNA: I think that's the Isle of Wight.

They laugh.

THE DOCTOR: Eventually, gravity takes hold. Say, one big rock, heavier than the others, starts to pull other rocks towards it. All the dust and gas and elements get pulled in, everything, piling in until you get the...

DONNA: Earth.

THE DOCTOR: But the question is... what was that first rock?

A star shaped rock emerges through the clouds.

DONNA: Look.

THE DOCTOR (whispers): The Racnoss...

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

EMPRESS: Now I have measured the bride's catalysis, I can force feed it.

One of the robots force-feeds water poisoned with Huon particles to Lance.

EMPRESS (CONT'D): Drink the particle, become the key!

INT. TARDIS

The Doctor rushes back to the console and turns a wheel frantically.

THE DOCTOR: Hold on, the Racnoss are hiding from the w*r! What's it doing?

The rocks, the particles of dust and gas, they're all zooming towards the Racnoss as though drawn by a magnetic force.

DONNA: Exactly what you said.

THE DOCTOR (running back to the door to look): Oh, they didn't just bury something at the centre of the Earth... they became the centre of the Earth. The first rock.

The TARDIS suddenly shudders violently and they are nearly knocked off their feet.

DONNA: What was that?

THE DOCTOR: Trouble.

He slams the doors shut.

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

EMPRESS: My wonderful key. Now, my servants, bind him!

Lance is restrained by two of the robots as he glows.

INT. TARDIS

The Doctor and Donna struggle to keep their balance as the TARDIS shudders and tips.

DONNA (yelling over the noise): What the hell's it doing??

THE DOCTOR: Remember that little trick I pulled, particles pulling particles. It works in reverse, they're pulling us back!

He desperately tries to pilot the TARDIS but it is beyond his control as they whirl through the vortex.

DONNA: Well, can't you stop it? Hasn't it got a handbrake? Can't you reverse or warp or beam or something?

THE DOCTOR: Backseat driver. Oh! Wait a minute!

He pulls out the extrapolator from underneath the console.

THE DOCTOR: The extrapolator! Can't stop us, but it should give us a good bump!

The TARDIS materialises back in the chamber.

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

EMPRESS: The bride shall join her groom. What a wedding there shall be.

INT. TARDIS

THE DOCTOR (whacking the extrapolator): Now!

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

The TARDIS disappears and reappears down the corridor. The Doctor and Donna emerge.

THE DOCTOR: We're about 200 yards to the right. Come on!

They run.

EMPRESS: She is close! The holy bride in white. Find her! Find her!

The Doctor and Donna arrive at the doorway leading up to the Thames Flood Barrier.

DONNA (out of breath and scared): But what do we do?

THE DOCTOR (seemingly listening behind the door with a stethoscope): I don't know! I make it up as I go along! But trust me, I've got a history.

DONNA: But I still don't understand. I'm full of particles, but what for?

THE DOCTOR: There's a Racnoss web at the centre of the Earth, but my people unravelled their power source. The Huon particles ceased to exist but the Racnoss are stuck.

A robot grabs Donna for behind, covering her mouth so she can't scream and drags her away.

THE DOCTOR (who hasn't noticed): They've just been in hibernation for billions of years. Frozen. d*ad. Kaput! So you're the new key. Brand new particles, living particles! They need you to open it and you have never been so quiet.

He finally looks behind him and notices that she's gone. He groans and looks up and down the empty corridor. He opens the door with his sonic screwdriver, only to be confronted with an armed robot.

DONNA (who has joined Lance tied up in the web on the ceiling): I hate you.

LANCE: Yeah, I think we've gone a bit beyond that now, sweetheart.

EMPRESS: My golden couple. Together at last, your awful wedded life. Tell me; do you want to be released?

DONNA AND LANCE: Yes!

EMPRESS: You're supposed to say "I do".

LANCE: Ha. No chance.

EMPRESS: Say it!

LANCE (looks at Donna): I do.

DONNA: I do.

EMPRESS: I don't. (She cackles). Activate the particles. Purge every last one!

Donna and Lance both begin to glow again.

EMPRESS: And release!

The particles extract themselves from Donna and Lance and zoom down the hole in the ground.

EMPRESS: The secret heart unlocks. And they will waken from their sleep of Ages.

DONNA: Who will? What's down there?

LANCE: How thick are you??

EMPRESS: My children, the long lost Racnoss. Now will be born to feast on flesh!

The chirping of the spiders and the patters of their feet can now be heard coming up the hole.

EMPRESS: The web-star shall come to me.

EXT. SPACE

The star drifts towards the Earth.

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

EMPRESS: My babies will be hungry. They need sustenance. Perish the web.

LANCE: Use her! Not me! Use her!

EMPRESS: Oh, my funny little Lance! But you are quite impolite to your lady-friend. The Empress does not approve.

The web around Lance loosens and he tumbles down the hole.

DONNA: Laaaaaance!

EXT. LONDON STREET (NIGHT)

The star descends over the Thames. The confused Londoners point up at it in wonder and awe.

LITTLE GIRL (loving it): It's Christmas!

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

EMPRESS: Harvest the humans! Reduce them to meat.

EXT. LONDON STREET (NIGHT)

What looks like bolts of lightning sh**t out of the points of the stars, k*lling all they touch. The crowds below run for cover, screaming. The little girl screams, screwing her eyes shut as a bolt cuts through the floor towards her until her dad picks her up out of the way just in time.

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

One of the robots ascends the stairs running up the side of the chamber.

EMPRESS: My children are climbing towards me and none shall stop them! (She hisses and turns to the robot). So you might as well unmask, my clever little doctor-man.

THE DOCTOR (removing the mask and the cloak): Oh well. Nice try. I've got you, Donna!

He aims his sonic screwdriver up at her and the web loosens.

DONNA (screeches): I'm gonna fall!

THE DOCTOR: You're gonna swing!

Sure enough, she swings right over the hole on one of the stands of web and towards the Doctor.

THE DOCTOR (with his arms outstretched): I've got ya!

Donna screams and swings right underneath the Doctor and smashes into the wall with a dull bang. The Empress smirks.

THE DOCTOR: ... oh. Sorry.

Donna is sprawled out on her back below him.

DONNA: Thanks for nothing.

EMPRESS: The doctor-man amuses me.

THE DOCTOR: Empress of the Racnoss,I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet. I can find you a place in the universe to coexist. Take that offer and end this now.

EMPRESS: These men are so funny.

THE DOCTOR: What's your answer?

EMPRESS: Oh, I'm afraid I have to decline.

She laughs.

THE DOCTOR: What happens next is your own doing.

EMPRESS: I'll show you what happens next. (She hisses). At arms!

The robots raise their g*n.

EMPRESS: Take aim! (they aim). And...

THE DOCTOR (quietly): Relax.

The robots go limp.

DONNA: What did you do?

THE DOCTOR: Guess what I've got, Donna? (He produces the remote control from one of his pockets). Pockets.

DONNA: How did that fit in there?

THE DOCTOR: They're bigger on the inside.

EMPRESS: Robo-forms are not necessary. My children may feast on Martian flesh.

THE DOCTOR: Oh, but I'm not from Mars.

EMPRESS: Then where?

THE DOCTOR: My home planet is far away and long-since gone. But its name lives on. Gallifrey.

EMPRESS (suddenly full of anger): They m*rder the Racnoss!

THE DOCTOR: I warned you. You did this.

He produces a handful of baubles.

EMPRESS (panicking): No! No! Don't! No!

The Doctor throws several handfuls of the baubles into the air. Some surround the Empress and some smash into the walls of the corridor, destroying them and letting the water from the Thames rush though in torrents. Another bauble explodes causing a f*re at the Empress' feet. She wails as water floods into the chamber and down the hole.

EMPRESS (grief-stricken): My children!

The Doctor stands watching in silence, surrounded by f*re and water, while the river swirls down the hole like it's a plughole.

EMPRESS (hysterical and in torturous pain as she is consumed by flame): No! My children! My children!

DONNA: Doctor! You can stop now!

But the Doctor can't stop, he watches the Racnoss writhe and wail in agony with dark eyes, full of some secret pain and then :

THE DOCTOR: Come on! Time I got you out!

The Doctor and Donna run up the stairs, soaking wet.

EMPRESS: Transport me!

INT. RACNOSS SHIP

She teleports herself back to her web in the sky.

EMPRESS: Oh, they will suffer! So suffer! This planet shall be scorched!

INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE

DONNA (as she and the Doctor climb the ladder): But what about the Empress?

THE DOCTOR: She's used up all her Huon energy, she's defenceless!

EXT. LONDON STREET (NIGHT)

Huge army t*nk rumble down the streets of London and aim their cannons up at the star.

COMMANDER: Orders from Mr Saxon, f*re at will!

SOLDIER: f*re!

Cannon balls sh**t at the star from all directions and it quickly falls to pieces until finally it bursts into flame and disintegrates completely, the Empress and all. The Doctor and Donna have reached the top of the ladder and they clamber out into the night, both whooping and cheering in delight when they realise the Racnoss has been destroyed.

DONNA (after catching her breath): Just... there's one problem.

THE DOCTOR: What's that?

DONNA: We've drained the Thames.

Sure enough, the Thames is completely emptied of water. The Doctor and Donna collapse into laughter once more.

EXT. CHISWICK STREET (NIGHT)

The TARDIS materialises across the road from Donna's house. She and the Doctor step outside.

THE DOCTOR: There we go. Told you she'd be all right. She can survive anything.

DONNA: More than I've done.

THE DOCTOR (scans her): Nope! All the Huon particles have gone. No damage, you're fine.

DONNA: Yeah, but apart from that... I missed my wedding, lost my job and became a widow on the same day. Sort of.

THE DOCTOR: I couldn't save him.

DONNA (unfeelingly): He deserved it.

The Doctor raises his eyebrows. Donna's face softens.

DONNA: No, he didn't. (Looks round at the house). I'd better get inside. They'll be worried.

THE DOCTOR: Best Christmas present they could have.

They watch Sylvia and Geoff embrace each other through the window.

THE DOCTOR: Oh, no, I forgot, you hate Christmas.

DONNA: Yes, I do.

THE DOCTOR: Even if it snows?

He tweaks a hidden switch on the TARDIS and a ball of light sh**t out of the top and explodes like a firework in the sky into softly falling snow. Donna laughs with delight.

DONNA: I can't believe you did that!

THE DOCTOR (casually): Oh, basic atmospheric excitation.

He grins at her and she smiles back.

DONNA: Merry Christmas.

THE DOCTOR: And you. So... what will you do with yourself now?

DONNA: Not getting married for starters. And I'm not gonna temp anymore. I dunno... travel... see a bit more of planet Earth... walk in the dust. Just... go out there and do something.

THE DOCTOR: Well, you could always...

DONNA: What?

THE DOCTOR (tentatively): ... come with me...

DONNA (smiles): No.

THE DOCTOR (quickly): Okay.

DONNA: I can't...

THE DOCTOR (with false indifference): No, that's fine.

DONNA (overwhelmed): No, but really... everything we did today... do you live your life like that?

THE DOCTOR (unconvincingly): ... Not all the time.

DONNA: I think you do. And I couldn't.

THE DOCTOR: But you've seen it out there. It's beautiful.

DONNA: And it's terrible. That place was flooding and burning and they were dying and you were stood there like... I don't know... a stranger. And then you made it snow. I mean, you scare me to death!

THE DOCTOR (after a short silence): Well then.

DONNA: Tell you what I will do though, Christmas dinner. Oh, come on.

THE DOCTOR: I don't do that sort of thing.

DONNA: You did it last year, you said so. And you might as well because Mum always cooks enough for twenty.

THE DOCTOR (after oo-ing and ahh-ing in his reluctance): Oh, all right then. But you go first, better warn them. And... don't say I'm a Martian. (Indicates TARDIS). I just have to park her properly, she might drift off to the Middle Ages. I'll see you in a minute.

He disappears inside the TARDIS and it begins to dematerialise, and that's when Donna realises she's never going to see him again.

DONNA (yells): Doctor! Doctor!

The engines stop and the Doctor pops his head outside the door.

THE DOCTOR: Blimey, you can shout.

DONNA: Am I ever gonna see you again?

THE DOCTOR: If I'm lucky.

DONNA: Just... promise me one thing, find someone.

THE DOCTOR: I don't need anyone.

DONNA: Yes, you do. Because sometimes, I think you need someone to stop you.

THE DOCTOR (quietly): Yeah. (Pauses, then...) Thanks then, Donna, good luck, and just... be magnificent.

DONNA (smiles and laughs): I think I will, yeah.

The Doctor smiles and retreats back into the TARDIS.

DONNA: Doctor?

THE DOCTOR (opening the door with mock exasperation): Oh, what is it now??

DONNA: That friend of yours... what was her name?

THE DOCTOR (a lump in his throat): Her name was Rose.

He closes the door for the last time, and instead of its usual dematerialisation, the TARDIS sh**t up into the night sky. Donna watches with a sad smile and then walks back home.

END
{"type": "series", "show": "Doctor Who Special", "episode": "2006-12-25 - The Runaway Bride"}