Please Come to Our House
2016 Broadway Cast of Falsettos
[The phone rings. TRINA is on the phone.] 
[TRINA]
Dr. Mendel, please

Dr. Mendel, vis-a-vis what Marvin did
Or rather, hasn't done

You must exorcise a devil
'Cause it inhabits Marvin's son[MENDEL, spoken]
Hello?

This is Mendel Weisenbachfeld



Trina, how are you?


Uh-huh. Uh-huh.[TRINA]
Please come to our house
And talk a bit with Jason
It's a slight exaggeration
But he's sick in the head
Oh, sure
Sometimes, you'll think he's wonderful
But he's wild
I'm sure he's Marvin's child
[JASON]
What should I say to the man?
Should I be mean to the man?

[TRINA]
Just be yourself

[JASON]
I'll be myself?

[TRINA]
Stop asking questions. Be yourself

[JASON]
I'll be myself!

[TRINA]
Don't be disgusting. Be yourself!
Go, go, go, go

[Doorbell. MENDEL opens the door. MENDEL and JASON shake hands.]

[JASON]
Hello to my house
So good of you to travel
On account of my unraveling
Now let's eat some food
[MENDEL, spoken]
Let's talk

[TRINA]
I think, before the food gets cold

[MENDEL]
Time to jaw
First, I'll extend my paw

[Ridiculously, chivalrously, he takes TRINA's hand. Spotlight on their hands.]

I think she's holding it so tenderly
I'll probably faint
If so
I'd rather die in this position
Than remain the saint
You think
You know
I'm not
Although
I must be showing better-than-the-norm restraint

[TRINA, MENDEL, & JASON]
Oh, what a lovely table
Such a romantic table
Knives in place
Lots of space
To spread out and eat
Notice how our eyes discreetly...
[They look. Cat and mouse.]

[TRINA, MENDEL, & JASON, in a round]
Please come to our house
The dinner's on the table
We will talk if we are able to
But probably we won't
We sit

[MENDEL]
The kid looks pretty miserable

[He puts an arm around JASON.]

[JASON]
Uninspired

[MENDEL, appreciating JASON'S attitude]
Ain't that the truth?

[TRINA, MENDEL, & JASON]
We're tired

[JASON moves MENDEL's arm away.]

[MENDEL]
I think the room looks just a wee bit small

[TRINA]
This girl agrees

[MENDEL AND JASON]
Adieu

[TRINA]
I'll wait outside
And hold the food

[MENDEL]
I do not eat at all at times like these

[TRINA, to JASON]
The worst is through

[MENDEL]
There's work to do

[TRINA, to MENDEL]
I'll wait

[MENDEL, looking at TRINA, then turning to the audience]
She'll wait

[JASON]
They'll wait

[TRINA]
I'll wait for you

[TRINA exits with the table.]
Write the lyrics for a pop song made in 2016, titled "Please Come to Our House", by artist "2016 Broadway Cast of Falsettos".