Lydia the Tattooed Lady
Groucho Marx
Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia?
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady
She has eyes that folks adore so
And a torso even more so

Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclopydia
Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo
Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus, too
And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue
You can learn a lot from Lydia

When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world
If you step up and tell her where
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paris
Or Washington crossing the Delaware

Oh Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia?
Oh Lydia the Tattooed Lady
When her muscles start relaxin'
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson
Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopydia
Oh Lydia the queen of them all
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz
With a view of Niagara that nobody has
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz
You can learn a lot from Lydia

Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon
Here's Godiva but with her pajamas on

Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trilon
Over on the West Coast we have Treasure Island
Here's Najinsky a-doin' the rhumba
Here's her social security numba

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia that encyclopydia
Oh Lydia the champ of them all
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet
For he went and married Lydia

I said Lydia (He said Lydia)
They said said Lydia (We said Lydia)
La La!
Write the lyrics for a pop song made in 1939, titled "Lydia the Tattooed Lady", by artist "Groucho Marx".