Easter Bonnet 2016: The Fleet Street Remix
Lin-Manuel Miranda
[TOBIAS RAGG]
How does a master’s gore-filled sumptuous score
And a plot skimmed hot from a British novel
Involving a convict, hopped up on conflict
Washed up in London harbor
Grow up to be a bloody demon barber?

[ANTHONY HOPE]
The mean barber used to bein’ Benjamin Barker
Got a lot darker by bein’ a lot odder
By seein’ a lot of trauma
Be seein’ his baby mama
Swiped from the scene…
Sent screaming away from his wife and daughter

[JUDGE TURPIN]
And every day while shaves were being flaunted and sauntered away
By Italian knaves, he struggled and kept his shop up
Inside, he was longin’ for bloody beadles to chop up
The barber was ready for judges’ jugulars he could mop up
[BEADLE BAMFORD]
Then a green finch came and linnet birds rained
Our man saw his future drip dripping’ down the drain
Put a razor to his nasal, connected it to his brain
And he straight up went insane, his arm was complete again...

[TOBIAS]
Well the word got around they said, “This can’t be the same man”
Sent away to prison like Valjean in a chain gang
Get yourself a station, a place to practice your aim
And the world is gonna know your name, what’s your name man?”

[SWEENEY TODD]
Demon barber Sweeney Todd
I am the demon barber Sweeney Todd
Indeed, I serve a dark and vengeful God
But the work… waits…

[MRS. LOVETT]
Judge Turpin ordered him to split, full of it, lust-ridden
Some years later, see Turpin and his ward just sittin’
Flushed, spittin’ as he locks her up quick, his hair slick

[COMPANY]
Johanna’s not his daughter, but c’mon that shit is sick
[ADOLFO PIRELLI]
Moved in with Miss Lovett, Miss Lovett would be his newest guide
Cookin’ his victims into her pies, somethin’ new inside
A voice, sayin’

[COMPANY]
Sweeney, you’ve gotta kill for yourself

[PIRELLI]
He started the bleedin’ and feedin’ every pastry on the shelf

[TOBIAS]
There would have been several new deceased, which only grew the feast
And nobody knew that she imbued the yeast with just a little priest
Started workin’
Turpin was the one he saved his hand for
Slicing’ up Pirelli, practicing’ on the Beadle Bamford

[COMPANY]
Scammin’

[TOBIAS]
For every neck he can get his hands on

[COMPANY]
Plannin’
[TOBIAS]
For the future, see him now as he stands on
The bow of a ship headed for his hometown
On Fleet Street, clean sweep, cut ‘em all down

[COMPANY]
On Fleet Street, clean sweep, cut ‘em all down

[TODD]
But the work waits...

[COMPANY]
On Fleet Street, clean sweep, cut ‘em all down

[TODD]
I’m alive at last…

[COMPANY]
On Fleet Street, clean sweep, cut ‘em all down
On Fleet Street, Fleet Street…

[TODD]
And I’m full of JOOOOOOOYYYYYY!!!

[COMPANY]
Demon Barber Sweeney Todd (Demon Barber Sweeney Todd)
We will now attend the tale for you (we attend the tale for you)
You could never back down, you had to swing your razor
Hiiiiiigh
Oh, Demon Barber Sweeney Todd (Demon Barber Sweeney Todd)
Here’s the tale that we regale for you
What happens next, well, that’s the play
You wouldn’t want us to give it away
The world will never be okay, ohhh

[TOBIAS]
The ship’s in London harbor now, see if you can spot ‘im
A young sailor named Anthony right beside him
His enemies destroyed his life
His vengeance turned him rotten

[TURPIN AND BEADLE]
We fucked with him

[ANTHONY]
Me, I trusted him

[PIRELLI]
Me, I shaved with him

[MRS LOVETT, JOHANNA, AND BEGGAR WOMAN]
Me, I loved him

[TOBIAS.]
And me?
I’m the young Toby that got him

[COMPANY]
There’s a million things he hasn’t done, but that’s the plaayyyyy…

[Leslie Odom Jr.]
What’s your name man?

[COMPANY]
Demon Barber Sweeney Todd!
Write the lyrics for a rap song made in 2016, titled "Easter Bonnet 2016: The Fleet Street Remix", by artist "Lin-Manuel Miranda".