Side by Side by Side/What Would We Do Without You
Stephen Sondheim
[JENNY]
Bobby

[PETER]
Bobby

[AMY]
Bobby baby

[PAUL]
Bobby bubi

[JOANNE]
Robby

[SUSAN]
Robert, darling[DAVID]
Bobby
We've been trying
To reach you[JENNY]
Bobby 

[LARRY]
Bobby 
 

[AMY]
Bobby baby[PAUL]
Bobby bubi[SARAH]
Angel
I've got something
To tell you[HARRY]
Bob 

[LARRY]
Rob-o 
 

[JOANNE]
Bobby, love[SUSAN]
Bobby, honey[JOANNE/LARRY]
Bob, we're having people
It's Saturday
Night
 
[DAVID/JENNY]
Whatcha doing
Thursday?
 
[SARAH/HARRY]
Time we got together
Is Wednesday
Alright?
 
[AMY/PAUL]
Eight o'clock
 
On Monday 
[JENNY]
Bobby
 
[AMY]
Bobby baby
 



[PAUL]
Bobby
 
[JOANNE]
Rob-o
 
[JOANNE/PETER]
Bobby baby 


[PETER]
Bobby
 
[HARRY]
Bobby bubi
 


[SUSAN]
Bobby, honey
 
[PETER]
Bobby fella[COUPLES]
Bobby, come on over for dinner!
We'll be so glad to see you!
Bobby, come on over for dinner!
Just be the three of us
Only the three of us!
We love you!
We love you!
[ROBERT, spoken]
I mean, when you've got friends like mine!

[COUPLES]
We love you

[ROBERT, spoken]
I mean, when you've got friends like mine(sung)
Isn't it warm?
Isn't it rosy?
Side by side
 
By side
 
Ports in a storm
Comfy and cozy
Side by side
 
By side
 
 
Everything shines
How sweet!
 
[ROBERT, SARAH & HARRY]
Side by side...
 
[ROBERT]
...by side
Parallel lines
Who meet 
 
 
[SARAH, spoken]
He's such a cutie
 
Isn't he a cutie?
 
 
[PETER, spoken]
He never loses his cool
 
[HARRY, spoken]
I envy that
 
 
 
 
[SUSAN, spoken]
We're just so fond of him[COUPLES]
Love him!
Can't get enough of him![ROBERT]
Everyone winks
Nobody's nosy
Side by side
 
By side
 
 
You make the drinks
And I'll bring the posy
 
[ROBERT & JOANNE]
Side by side...
 
[ROBERT]
...by side
One is lonely and two is boring
Think what you can keep ignoring
Side
 
By side
 
 
 
By side 
 
 
[JOANNE, spoken]
He is just crazy about me
 
[PAUL, spoken]
He's a very tender guy
 
 
 
 
[LARRY, spoken]
He's always there when you need him
 
 
 
 
 
[AMY, spoken]
He's my best friend...
 
I mean, next to my husband
 
[COUPLES]
Never a bother!
Seven times a godfather![ALL]
Year after year
Older and older...

[LARRY, spoken]
It's amazing. We've gotten older each year and he seems to stay exactly the same

[ALL]
Sharing a tear
Lending a shoulder

[DAVID, spoken]
You know what comes to my mind every time I see him? The Seagram's Building. Isn't that funny?

[ALL]
Ain't we got fun?
No strain

[JOANNE, spoken]
You know, sometimes I catch him looking and looking. I just look right back

[ALL]
Permanent sun
No rain

[COUPLES]
We're so crazy, he's so sane

[ALL]
Friendship forbids
Anything bitter

[PAUL, spoken]
A person like Bob doesn't have the good things and he doesn't have the bad things, but he doesn't have the good things

[ALL]
Being the kids
As well as the sitter—

[HARRY, spoken]
Let me make him a drink. He's the one guy I know I feel should drink more

[ROBERT]
One's impossible, two is dreary
Three is company, safe and cheery[ALL]
Side...
 
 
By side...
 
By... 
[SARAH, spoken]
He always looks like he's keeping score
 
Who's winning, Robert?[ROBERT]
Here is the church
Here is the steeple
Open the doors
And see all the crazy married people

[COUPLES]
What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Who would I complain to for hours?
Who'd bring me the flowers
When I have the flu?
Who'd finish yesterday's stew?
Who'd take the kids to the zoo?
Who is so dear, and who is so deep[MEN]
And who would keep her occupied when I want to sleep?[WOMEN]
And who would keep him occupied when I want to sleep?[COUPLES]
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Should there be a marital squabble
Available Bob'll
Be there with the glue
Who could we open up to
Secrets we keep from guess who?
Who is so safe, and who is so sound?
You never need an analyst with Bobby around!
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Who sends anniversary wishes?
Who helps with the dishes
And never says boo?
Who changes subjects on cue?
Who cheers us up when we're blue?
Who is a flirt, but never a threat
Reminds us of our birthdays which we always forget?
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get--
How would we ever get--
How would we ever get--
How would we ever get through?
What would we do without you?

[ROBERT]
Just what you usually do

[COUPLES]
Right!
You who sit with us
You who share with us
You who fit with us
You who bear with us
You-hoo, you-hoo
You-hoo, you-hoo...

[ROBERT, spoken]
Okay now! Everybody!

[ALL]
Isn't it warm?
Isn't it rosy?
Side by side!

[First couples tap dances.]

Ports in a storm
Comfy and cozy
Side by side!

[Second couple tap dances.]

Everything shines
How sweet
Side by side!

[Third couple tap dances.]

Parallel lines
Who meet
Side by side!

[Robert tap dances alone.]

Year after year
Older and older
Side by side!
Sharing a tear
And lending a shoulder
Side by side!
One's impossible, two is gloomy
Give another number to me
Side by side by side
By side by side by side by side by side
By side by side by side by side by side
By side!
Write the lyrics for a pop song made in 1970, titled "Side by Side by Side/What Would We Do Without You", by artist "Stephen Sondheim".