Bottoms Gonna Be On Top
Wayne Kirkpatrick
[NICK BOTTOM]
No more Mr. Anonymous
No more world that is Nick Bottom-less
My name will be synonymous with being on the top

I can see it now
I'm the cat's meow
It's a hit, pow!
It's gonna be great, gonna be great
Everywhere I go
They will love me so
Hail my name
Oh, it's gonna be great, gonna be great

[ENSEMBLE]
Master Bottom, you're such a wonderful writer

[NICK]
You really think so?

[ENSEMBLE]
And your talent is talent beyond compare
[NICK]
Why thank you

[ENSEMBLE]
You're a star, you are, and you couldn't be brighter

[NICK]
Now you're just embarrassing me!

[ENSEMBLE]
You're a real visionary

[NICK]
Thank you Jesus and Hail Mary!

[ALL]
This Bottom's gonna be on top
This Bottom's gonna be on top

[NICK]
Man, I'm gonna sizzle
Man, I'm gonna pop

[ALL]
And this Bottom's gonna be on top
[NICK]
This is heaven sent
Feeling confident
Money well spent
It's gonna be great, gonna be great
Throw a big parade
Praises will be made
Compliments paid
It's gonna be great, gonna be great

[BEA]
Me and baby are so eternally grateful

[NICK]
You're who I'm doing it for

[BEA]
Thank you for our cottage in the woods

[NICK]
You deserve it!

[NIGEL]
If gratitude were a food I'd have a big plateful

[NICK]
Nice metaphor, bro
[LORD CLAPHAM]
You're the greatest

[SHYLOCK]
You're the man

[NICK]
I really shouldn't say it
But yes I am!

[ALL]
This Bottom's gonna be on top
This Bottom's gonna be on top

[NICK]
Once I get going, never gonna stop

[ALL]
Yeah, this Bottom's gonna be on top

[RENAISSANCE WRITERS]
We are the royalty of the Renaissance writers
Now we're handing down the crown to you
You were a nobody but then overnight you're someone better than the rest of us
Now you are the best of us

[WILL]
Not. So. Fast

[NICK]
Hello, Will. I knew you wouldn't go down without a fight

[WILL]
The top sir, nay, thou surely doth jest
I say on my honour here I doth protest

[NICK]
Yawn
Rhyming couplet? That is so 1580’s

[WILL]
Oh yeah?
Well
If you want to make it to the top
Then you're gonna have to go through me
'Cause on the top is where I live
And I will not be giving up that easily
So there

[NICK]
Oh, man, I have been waiting for this moment for so long
I'm gonna enjoy it when I knock you off your perch

[WILL]
Oh, no you won't

[NICK]
Oh, yes I will

[WILL]
Oh, no you won't

[NICK]
Oh, yes I will

[WILL]
Oh, no you won't

[NICK]
Oh, yes I will

[WILL]
Oh, no you won't
My accomplishments are much more accomplished than yours

[NICK]
In your dreams
I am the best

[WILL]
You can't be the best because I am the best
I have written 12 plays and each one is a testament to my great skill
I am the Will
And I wrote the Taming of the Shrew and Richard III and Richard II and Henry's IV, V, VI
And Titus Andronicus
And oh, did I forget Romeo and Juliet

[NICK]
Well I have just written the thing that the critics are calling the greatest thing they've ever seen
The people are loving it
Can't get enough of it
Everyone, even including the Queen
She recently invited me to her castle where she knighted me
And privately she told me that you're not any good, not any good, not any good, not any good
And she told me that all of your plays make her vomit
And none of them's as good as my musical Omelette

[WILL]
Wait a minute
You wrote Omelette?

[NICK]
Yes

[WILL]
I never thought that I would meet my equal
But I concede that I've been bested by the best
Maybe we could partner on a sequel

[NICK]
Oh, my, how the tide has turned
Let's review
What have we learned?
See, you were here
But now we've swapped
So kiss this Bottom
I'm on the top

[ALL]
He's on top
He's on top
Wah-wah-wah-wah
Yeah, this Bottom's gonna be on top
He's on top
He's on top
Wah-wah-wah-wah
Yeah, this Bottom's gonna be on top
Yeah, this Bottom's gonna be on top
Yeah, this Bottom's gonna be on top

[NICK - Dialogue]

[ALL]
Bottom's up
Yeah, this Bottom's gonna be on top
Write the lyrics for a pop song made in 2015, titled "Bottoms Gonna Be On Top", by artist "Wayne Kirkpatrick".