I Could Be Jewish for You
Nikko Benson
I should have known when I met you
By the Orthodox synagogue
I should have known when I saw you
Buying extra lox at the bagel shop
I should have known
You’re not to blame
I should have known we’re not the same
It doesn’t take an Einstein
You’ve got the nose
You’ve got the name
The name is Steinstein

I’m not sure what you want me to do
But I think this is
Worth working through
I’ll admit it’s a little bit
Out of the blue
But, might as well try I think
I could be Jewish for you

Like on the holidays…
I’ll stop baking gingerbread
Start baking Challah
When Hanukkah comes, heck
I’ll light the mandala!
Menorah, excuse me
If you could just choose me
I’ll sing eidledeidle not fa la
Yeah as far as the culture
I might need a clue
But I’ll give it a shot, ‘cause
I’ve got to be Jewish for you

I’ll go with you to temple
I’ll try to learn Yiddish
I’ll start eating Kosher
I’ll even play quidditch!
Nope, that’s not a Jew thing
Well teach me some new things
I won’t be the slightest bit skittish
I’ll do it by rote till
It feels like it’s true
And till I’m verklempt I’ll
Attempt to be Jewish for you

I mean
I would be Irish, or Russian or French
But, no, Chinese is a bit of a stretch
Um, just wait, even your Rabbi
Will call me a mensch
Did I mention I’ve been
Practising my kvetch?!
Oh! I will adapt where
The av’rage girl freezes
Cos if I have to have the
“Just Friends” talk
I’ll do it with Jesus
Sorry,​ Jesus…You’re just not my type

Whatever they are, I could
Learn to like latkes!
And if we have sons they’ll
All have Bar Matzahs!
Bar Mitzvahs I’m joking!
I promise I know things
Enough not to ruin chbotkas
If that’s what it takes then
That’s what I’ll do
Please don’t run away and one day
I’ll be Jewish for you

Tell me
You’ve never questioned
One holy command
Tell me
Don’t you think love’s
More romantic unplanned?
Just tell me you’re nervous
We'll start with the service
Just tell me where you stand
Tell me “I need you!”
Tell me in Hebrew!
Teach me Lechayim and Horcrux and Oy
Just tell me why
Instead of hi, I’ll say shalom
Till my hovel feels like home
But I won’t say goodbye
So here’s what I propose:
I’ll read through the Torah
From cover to cover
Till even Moses could see
We were meant for each other
You know I adore you
So let me fight for you
Together we’ll take on your mother

It might be a prayer
But a prayer can come true
I dare you to dare me
I swear I’ll come through
But I’m with you and there
Isn’t a thing I can’t do
So if you’re inclined
I won’t mind
Being Jewish for you
Write the lyrics for a pop song made in 2019, titled "I Could Be Jewish for You", by artist "Nikko Benson".