Kinky Sex Makes the World Go Round
Dead Kennedys
"Prime Minister's office. Prime Minister speaking"

Greetings
This is the Secretary of War at the State Department of the United States
We have a problem
The companies want something done about this sluggish world economic situation
Profits have been running more than a little thin lately and we, we need to stimulate some growth
Now we know that there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage private property
It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job
It's about time we did something constructive with these people
We've got thousands of 'em here too, they're crawling all over
The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together - and start another war
The president? He loves the idea!
All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro
Napalm
People running down the road, skin on fire

The Soviets seem up for it
The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years
Want a little going away present for Mr. Brezhnev
Hell, Afghanistan's no fun
So whadya say?
We don't even have to win this war
We just want to cut down on some of this excess population
Now look. Just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can
We'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on, and give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle and send 'em on their way
El Salvador?
How 'bout Northern Ireland?
Or a 'moderately repressive regime' in South America?
We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story in the Middle East - we need that oil
We had Libya all ready to go and Colonel Gaddafi's hit squad didn't even show up
I tell ya, that man is unreliable
The Russians had their fingers on the button just like we did for that one

Now just think for a minute
We can make this war so big
So big!
The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper
We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queues if we plan this right
Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls
Now don't worry about those demonstrators
Just pump up your drug supply
So many people have hooked themselves on heroin and amphetamines since we took over
It's just like Vietnam
We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong
Kept the war functioning just fine
It's easy
We've got our college kids so interested in beer they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again
Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard, they wouldn't even know what it looked like
So how 'bout it?
I mean, look - war is money
The arms manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is going to collapse
The Soviets are in the same boat
We all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?
"Marvelous!"

That's excellent
We knew you'd agree
The companies will be very pleased
Write the lyrics for a rock song made in 1982, titled "Kinky Sex Makes the World Go Round", by artist "Dead Kennedys".