Ice Sculpting Night Classes
Charles Oakley
Skinny dipper, left the guinea pig with the house sitter
See me in Vail with the house slipper
Devout female mouth kisser
Blouse lifter with the pouch of glitter
Towel snapper, hang it on the owl fixture
Suburban outfitters, German sisters go out with us
40-thou tippers, sat down for dinners at the powwow with Val Kilmer
Underground tremor in the Appalachians yelling out timber
Ow a splinter, pull it out like my brown suspenders
Chicken heads with a mouth that's tender
All about gender, shes a ten I'm about a tenor
End game been the same as calendar in December
Valor and splendor, no mal agenda
That's a fine glass of wine to douse the temper
Small spender, enter after rappers pass all the sensor
Put em' on hold when I'm told I got a call from Lewis Paul Bremer
I copped cassettes with my grandma at the mall in Denver
Bird cages on stages while we burn sages
Perms and braces, the ferns were gracious
Sperm faces wrapped in ovary blankets
Notice the plaintiff is overly anxious
I decoded an ancient language
What's strange is how I played this like Mangus
Angus flavored toothpicks, hang like a crucifix
Scuba trips in a school of fish...shit I'm famous
In the shark tank selling fart stained K-Mart Hanes
Teeth like sharp shanks, as I paint a saint
Under the arch holding his heart in pain
Carve your name over my arms veins
Face lifts and bracelets where the charms hang
Magic dragons, accents, castles and cabins
Hats with satin, tassels like Aladdin's
Catfish mustaches
Crushed glasses under white napkins
Took ice sculpting night classes twice in Aspen
Life imagined like it happened
Using flashlight pocket knifes eating rice like jasmine
In the Coca-Cola sweater, white stone wash jean
Soft seam leather, confetti strings
Rings like Joe Jellybean's
Kelly greens, sing the birds tell me things
Catch me at the Getty with Freddie King
That's on everything
Shed tears over dead peers, holding spears in the head gear
They're trying steer and veer in the rear
But I see em' in the left mirror
My album already came out next year
Your next album was out last year
They clap and cheer in Zaire at the pap smear
The hat made of black deer, ear flaps lined with cashmere
I fed the red bill burger bread
Don't piss me off and make me pinch off the turtle head
My verses 2nd to none only cursors led
The only way I die is if I'm murdered or dead
Nilla wafers in manilla envelopes
Wrap felt around hand held telescopes
Tattoos of Old Yeller quotes
With Anabella posed in a shroud of feather ropes
Play the ukelele; Eddie Vedder notes
Still saucy; Bill Cosby sweater chodes
French tonguers on my jungers like plungers
Hummers on the cliffs during summers
Sudden hungers for fish sticks and cucumbers
Old phones and new numbers, while your crew slumbers
Who taped Battle Bots over my Fraggle Rock?
Cattle and stock branded like apples on a Macintosh
In my Frank Lloyd Wright home in the Florida Keys
Writing poems in Portuguese
Under assorted trees, over imported cheese
Button downs with short sleeves
On the porch swing, Georgia peach tea
Reading the New Yorker Quarterly
Warm breeze blowing through my three quarter weave
Pure breeds at the door, four feet at the floor
Thor helmet, expensive velvets and cheap velour
You want more please

In my jammies at the Grammys
Throwing candies while grannies poop their panties
Fine and dandy in my Randy Savage boots
Playing flutes with trannys
The duke of families
Household name called the super nanny
Fanny pack with the feather duster
Leather adjuster, getting head at the Rucker
Smooth dance moves; better than Usher
The head of the Luxor
Served a breakfast and fed a supper
Bread and butter spread under the table
Labeled the Clark Gable leg-toucher
Red mustard on the bagel
Major cable double-dutcher
With the pineapple Dum-Dum sucker
Write the lyrics for a rap song made in 2013, titled "Ice Sculpting Night Classes", by artist "Charles Oakley".