For the Record
Original Cast of 36 Questions
[JASE]
For the record, this is self-destructive
For the record, I'm aware of that
For the record, I've been picturing her body
Draped over the sofa wearing nothing but her hat

For the record

(Jase sighs)

(spoken)
I'm screwed

(sung)
For the record, this can still go my way
For the record, I can keep my pride
All I have to do is keep us focused on the questions
Each one of her responses will remind me how she lied

That's the answer
That's what I'll do
I'll use the 36, 36, 36, 36 questions
As a lifeline

And of course I have sympathy
For the pathological liar who did this to me
And yes, I admit
I wish I could touch her

But the questions will make one thing clear
There's nothing left of my old life to spare
No matter how much I may…

[JUDITH, spoken]
Ta-da!

[JASE, spoken]
What's up?

[JUDITH, spoken]
What do you think?

[JASE, spoken]
About what?

[JUDITH, spoken]
My jersey. Go SeaWolves!
[JASE, spoken]
Yeah… huh… go SeaWolves. Anyway

(Silverware clinking)

I was just, huh… setting the table here

[JUDITH, spoken]
Oh

[JASE, spoken]
I don't know why I did that. That's… weird

[JUDITH, spoken]
It makes perfect sense to me. It's kinda like a weird first date. Which is really why we ought to have more booze

[JASE, spoken]
I have whiskey. But, hmm… did you… did you want wine?

[JUDITH, spoken]
Do you have wine?

[JASE, spoken]
Yeah. The glass shattered on the chiller last night but I think the reds are okay. I'll just… hmm… yeah, I'll get ‘em. I'll be right back. Stay with Judith, Henry

(Henry, the duck, quacks)
[JUDITH, spoken]
Hey, Henry. I can't imagine all the horrible stuff you've heard about me. Well, it's all true. But you don't seem like the kind of duck who holds a grudge

(She pops open a bottle)

You're not a whiskey drinker, are you? No… you keep your wits about you. I like that

(sung)
For the record, I did not expect this
I really thought that it would be a harder sell
I came up with this plan at 4 a.m. on Interstate 10
How was I to know that it would work so well?

For the record

I haven't thought a lot about the way I'll answer
I guess I'm still afraid that I might lie
If only I could make him see, if I was given the choice
Of telling him the truth or sticking knives into my eyes

I'd pick the knives
But I'll survive

I'll treat the 36, 36, 36, 36 questions
As a passtime
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
Just like last time

And maybe it's wrong to say
But his defense and distance will not sway
Me from believing this is possible

If he didn't love me anymore
Then why the hell did he open the front door?
I think it's a sign that he–

[JASE, spoken]
Hey

[JUDITH, spoken]
What's up?!

[JASE, spoken]
Huh… there's a good chance that this wine is terrible

[JUDITH, spoken]
Huh… I– I'd settle for drinkable

[JASE, spoken]
I make no promises. Oh, you lit candles

[JUDITH, spoken]
Yeah, I thought it would help set the mood

[JASE, spoken]
What's "the mood"?

[JUDITH, spoken]
Hmm… hopeful?

(sung)
Just like our first date
When we sat on your carpet
Drank two bottles of wine

[JASE]
This is different
Two years have gone by
My whole life was a lie

[BOTH]
But there's something that feels so familiar
We've been here before

[JASE]
Staring at each other

[JUDITH]
Suddenly caring for each other

[BOTH]
Moving on to
Question 2

[JASE, spoken]
"Would you like to be famous? In what way?"

[JUDITH]
We're asking 36, 36, 36, 36 questions
To each other

[JASE]
Tonight's 36 reasons why you and I cannot be
Healthy for each other

[BOTH]
We're asking 36, 36, 36, 36 questions
Tonight
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the second time
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time
36, 36, 36, 36 questions
For the last time
36, 36, 36, 36
This will be the last thing
Write the lyrics for a pop song made in 2017, titled "For the Record", by artist "Original Cast of 36 Questions".