Notes.../Twisted Every Way
Andrew Lloyd Webber
[ANDRE]
Ludicrous! Have you seen the score?

[FIRMIN]
Simply ludicrous!

[ANDRE]
It's the final straw!

[FIRMIN]
This is lunacy! Well, you know my views

[ANDRE]
...Utter lunacy!

[FIRMIN]
But we daren't refuse ...

[ANDRE]
Not another chandelier
[FIRMIN]
Look, my friend, what we have here

[ANDRE]
"Dear Andre,​
Re my orchestrations:
We need another first bassoon
Get a player with tone—
And that third trombone
Has to go!
The man could not be deafer
So please preferably one who plays in tune!"

[FIRMIN]
"Dear Firmin,​
Vis a vis my opera:
Some chorus members must be sacked
If you could, find out which
Has a sense of pitch—
Wisely, though
I've managed to assign a
Rather minor role to those who cannot act!"

[CARLOTTA]
Outrage!
[FIRMIN]
What is it now?

[CARLOTTA]
This whole affair is an outrage!

[FIRMIN (?)]
Signora, please

[ANDRE (?)]
Now what's the matter?

[CARLOTTA]
Have you seen the size of my part?

[ANDRE]
Signora, listen ...

[PIANGI]
It's an insult!

[FIRMIN]
Not you as well!

[PIANGI]
Just look at this—it's an insult!
[FIRMIN]
Please understand

[ANDRE]
Signor! Signora!

[CARLOTTA]
The things I have to do for my art!

[PIANGI]
If you can call this gibberish "art"

[CARLOTTA]
Ah! Here's our little flower!

[FIRMIN]
Ah Miss Daaé, quite the lady of the hour!

[ANDRE]
You have secured the largest role in this "Don Juan"

[CARLOTTA]
Christine Daaé? She doesn't have the voice!

[FIRMIN]
Signora, please!

[RAOUL]
Then I take it you're agreeing

[CARLOTTA]
She's behind this...

[ANDRE]
It appears we have no choice

[CARLOTTA]
She's the one behind this!
Christine Daaé!

[CHRISTINE]
How dare you?

[CARLOTTA]
I'm not a fool!

[CHRISTINE]
You evil woman! How dare you?

[CARLOTTA]
You think I'm blind?

[CHRISTINE]
This isn't my fault!
I don't want any part in this plot!

[FIRMIN]
Miss Daaé, surely...

[ANDRE]
But why not?

[PIANGI]
What does she say?

[FIRMIN]
It's your decision, but why not?

[CARLOTTA]
She's backing out!

[ANDRE]
You have a duty!

[CHRISTINE]
I cannot sing it, duty or not

[RAOUL]
Christine, Christine...
You don't have to...
They can't make you...

[GIRY]
Please, monsieur—another note
"Fondest greetings to you all!
A few instructions just before rehearsal starts:

[GIRY & PHANTOM]
Carlotta must be taught to act

[PHANTOM]
Not her normal trick of strutting 'round the stage
Our Don Juan must lose some weight—
It's not healthy in a man of Piangi's age
And my managers must learn
That their place is in an office, not the arts

As for Miss Christine Daaé
No doubt she'll do her best—
It's true her voice is good
She knows, though, should she wish to excel
She has much still to learn
If pride will let her return to me, her teacher
Her teacher...

Your obedient friend

[GIRY]
"and Angel"

[RAOUL]
We have all been blind—
And yet the answer is staring us in the face
This could be the chance to ensnare our clever friend

[ANDRE]
We're listening

[FIRMIN]
Go on

[RAOUL]
We shall play his game
Perform his work, but remember we hold the ace
For, if Miss Daaé sings, he is certain to attend

[ANDRE]
We make certain the doors are barred

[FIRMIN]
We make certain our men are there

[RAOUL]
We make certain they're armed

[ANDRE/FIRMIN/RAOUL]
The curtain falls, his reign will end!

[GIRY]
Madness!

[ANDRE]
I'm not so sure

[FIRMIN]
Not if it works

[GIRY]
This is madness!

[ANDRE]
The tide will turn!

[GIRY]
Monsieur, believe me—
There is no way of turning the tide!

[FIRMIN]
You stick to ballet!

[RAOUL]
Then help us!

[GIRY]
Monsieur, I can't

[RAOUL]
Instead of warning us

[RAOUL/ANDRE/FIRMIN]
Help us!

[GIRY]
I wish I could

[RAOUL/ANDRE/FIRMIN]
Don't make excuses!

[RAOUL]
Or could it be that you're on his side?
 [GIRY]
Monsieur, believe me
I intend no ill
But Messieurs, be careful—
We have
​seen him kill ...


[PIANGI]
This is the truth!
Christine Daaé! 




[ANDRE/FIRMIN]
We say he'll fall
And fall he will!


[RAOUL]
This is his undoing! 





[CARLOTTA]
She's the one behind this!
Christine!
This is all a ploy! [ANDRE/FIRMIN]
If you succeed, you free us all—
This so-called "angel" has to fall!

[ANDRE]
Christine sings, we'll get our man

[FIRMIN]
If Christine helps us in this plan

[ANDRE]
If Christine won't, then no one can

[ANDRE/FIRMIN]
This will seal his fate! 
[RAOUL]
Angel
​of
​music
Fear

​my
​fury


Here is where you fall!


Say your prayers



Black
Angel of




Death! 



[GIRY]
Hear my warning!


Fear his fury!




Monsieur, I beg you


Do not do this... 









[CARLOTTA]
What glory can she

​hope to gain?

It's clear to all
The girl's
​insane!


[w/ PIANGI]
Gran Dio!
Che imbroglio 








[PIANGI]
She is crazy!

She is raving!



[CHRISTINE]
Please don't!



If you don't stop, I'll go
​mad![CHRISTINE]
Raoul, I'm frightened—
Don't make me do this
Raoul, it scares me—
Don't put me through this ordeal by fire
He'll take me, I know
We'll be parted forever
He won't let me goWhat I once used to dream, I now dread
If he finds me, it won't ever end
And he'll always be there, singing songs
​in my head
He'll always be there, singing songs
​in my head 



[CARLOTTA]
She's mad ... 
[RAOUL]
You said yourself—he was nothing but a man
Yet while he lives, he will haunt us 'til we're dead

[CHRISTINE]
Twisted every way, what answer can I give?
Am I to risk my life to win the chance to live?
Can I betray the man who once inspired my voice?
Do I become his prey? Do I have any choice?
He kills without a thought. He murders all that's good
I know I can't refuse, and yet, I wish I could
Oh God, if I agree, what horrors wait for me
In this, the Phantom's opera?

[RAOUL]
Christine, Christine, don't think that I don't care
But every hope, and every prayer rests on you now

[Instrumental]

[RAOUL, spoken]
So, it is to be war between us! But this time, clever friend, the disaster will be yours!

[REYER, spoken]
Don Juan—Signor Piangi—here is the phrase:

(sung)
"Those who tangle with Don Juan..."

(spoken)
If you please?

[PIANGI, sung]
Those who tangle with Don Juan

[REYER, spoken]
No, no. Nearly—but no

(sung)
"Those who tan–, tan–, tan–..."

[PIANGI]
Those who tangle with Don Juan

[CARLOTTA, spoken]
His way is better. At least he make it sound like music!

[GIRY, spoken]
Signora—would you speak that way in the presence of the composer?[CARLOTTA, spoken]
The composer is not here. And if he were here, I would say to him— 
[GIRY, spoken]
Are you certain of that, Signora?[REYER, spoken]
So, once again—after seven
Five, six, seven

[PIANGI, sung]
Those who tangle with Don Juan

(spoken)[CARLOTTA]
Ah, piu non posso!



No one will care if it is right or if it is wrong






Those who tangle with Don Juan! 
[PIANGI]
Is right?

[CHRISTINE]
Not quite, Signor, listen: "Those who tan– tan–"
You see?

[PIANGI]
I do no understand[?]
I no understand[GIRY]
Have patience, Signora




[REYER]
Settle down now

Settle down!

Senor Piangi, may I suggest— 
[ALL EXCEPT CHRISTINE]
Poor young maiden! For the thrill
On your tongue of stolen sweets
You will have to pay the bill
Tangled in the winding sheets!

[CHRISTINE]
In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name
Write the lyrics for a pop song made in 1987, titled "Notes.../Twisted Every Way", by artist "Andrew Lloyd Webber".