query i belong to a businessclass family where woman are expected to only take care of house and family after completing my graduation i got married in another businessclass family and everything was fine with time i realised that the males in my new family have no respect for their wives and a few of them even have extra marital affairs surprisingly their wives know about and have accepted the situationsix months back i saw my husband getting intimate with one of his juniors at office he came home acting like nothing has happened and saw me crying when i confronted him he said even you can have fun outside marriage do you think i can change his mindset and explain him the concept of fidelity by anonymousresponse by ms rachana awatramani in some cultures marriage is arranged and a woman is expected to only take care of the family and house every marriage has its own mutual understandingi comprehend that you are from a businessclass family and got married into similar family where women are expected to live in a certain way i understand that it might have been challenging for you to cope with how women are treated in the family by men it can be surprising that women in your house know about the affairs and have accepted their situation and compromised with their respected marriages you mentioned that six months ago you witnessed your husband getting intimate with someone in office and he came back home as if nothing has happened it can be shocking to know that your husband told you that you can also have affairs especially when you dont share the same culture and values the concept of fidelity is debatable it depends on the values and also the mutual understanding between the couple and their belief system you can surely put across your feelings to your husband and make him understand the pros and cons of his actions you can also discuss this with a trusted member of the family and consider marriage counselling to come to the common goals and boundaries in your relationship in your situation you can either work towards your marriage or walk out if you feel not respected and valued both the decisions will have their own consequences and challenges that you will have to be mentally prepared for ms rachana awatramani is a counseling psychologist at insight counseling services in mumbai want expert advice for your relationship send us a mail at expertadvicetoigmailcom