how you were the cricket captain in school or the soccer champ the tt maestro the book cricket baron er the pocket billiards mogul forget volleyball badminton or tennis if you tell us youve won glory in phasketboot chess boxing pooh sticks sepak takraw and basque pelota well believe that too but just so you know the next time you start uttering you dont know this game well start gurning wazzat its the world contest for pulling faces so there ditch the halftime line heres the standard conversation between a man and a woman during epl can you fill the bottles ill do it at half time can you take a bath of course during half time can you take the call at half time can we make love yes during half time lets break up sure during half time need we say more guys get a grip theres life beyond soccer no hair on the bathing bar please women who live with a male figure brother father friend partner husband raise your hands boys and men this one act gets you the title of perpetual king of ewwdom shedding hair is not a problem we do it too but to add a layer of loofah to the bathing bar because youre sloppy and have bad bathroom habits is just not on please eat less weve calculated and found that an average guy spends about three hours 47 minutes and 18 seconds every day just eating which is why they keep talking about hectic schedules waking up eating going to collegeoffice eating hanging out with friends eating and drinking coming back home eating hitting the bed eating midnight binges ala dagwood bumstead we understand the problem but its time you cut some slack and hit the gym till then well drool over shah rukhs eight packs stop saying your mom cooks best next time you say that well put mirchi in your coffee we swear we might spend hours labouring in the kitchen because you feel like spaghetti bolognese for dinner but trust you to polish it off burp and then say that ma ke haath ka khana is always better well little one if you miss ma and her cooking so much its time you went back to holding her pallu and asking for directions in life stop boring us with those i had the hots for my teacher stories chemistry biology physics english we all know your attendance records in class the marksheets are an entirely different story though but then who needs to know about atoms when the teacher is a bomb frankly weve heard these teeninheat stories umpteen times and its time you put a lid on it after all you dont want us to start on our hot teacher stories chatting up women your ex isnt cool whether its that new intern at office the neighbours daughter or your string of exes you cant stop chatting them up can you