to help readers cope with their anxieties in these stressful times toi has launched talk it out a series in which expert counsellors answer your mental health queries this weeks advice is from psychologist pragya lodhai reside in the us with my family my parents live in india last year my brother passed away due to covid my parents too were admitted to a hospital my brother suffered a lot in the last days and they witnessed it after his death my parents are in severe depression they are devastated and feel guilty that they couldnt do enough to save his life i call them every day what more can i do to help them anonymousstrength to you and your parents for coping with this grave loss feeling grief and the various emotions attached to it is expected and comes in phases generally as one ages it can take a long time to cope with grief you are doing your bit but your parents may need professional intervention in the form of psychotherapy you can set up an appointment with a psychologist nearby or online for them you can offer to listen to them vent if you have the emotional bandwidth help recollect memories that may cheer them up discuss how they can carry his memories ahead share how you are coping what is helping you and have more video calls to help them feel your presence better they may need more support in terms of relatives checking on them or some activity that can help them go on there are several organisations for geriatric care and companionship that can be of some help i am a 23yearold introvert i was always scolded by my father for not meeting his expectations these days he scolds me if he feels angry he never thinks about how i feel and says elders can scold children the sad part is he differentiates between me and my younger sister i feel very dull for the last two years and am disinterested in everything yet i still try to do my best at work but my parents are not satisfied how do i cope with this anonymousit can be difficult to feel happy without encouragement and affection from our parents as we look up to them with hope however on learning that they are not able to fulfill what you need from them we can learn to fill the void to some extent by relying on the other emotional support systems in the form of friends selfcare hobbies etc to keep us going if you havent tried this already clearly communicate your needs to your parents tell them what your emotional struggles are how you want to feel supported by them and also ask them how you can be there for them more communication helps both parties understand each others needs and how they can fulfil the same sometimes it takes more than one conversation but it is worth a try and can help