question i am a 35yearold married man and i am in love with a girl who is my colleague and almost 12 to 15 years younger to me i am a digital marketer while my wife works with an mnc its been more than five years to our marriage and my wife doesnt want kids so we have never tried for one my problem is that my wife is a very demanding woman and doesnt easily settle on anything we spend almost 1213 hours away from each other because of our hectic schedules she has recently filed for divorce and thinks i have an affair with one of our mutual friends which is not the truth she is still clueless about the girl with whom i have an extramarital affair she has asked me to return all the money her father had spent on our marriage i am clueless as to how should i proceed further please advise by anonymousresponse by ms rachana awatramani i comprehend that your wife wants a divorce from you and is asking to return the money her family has spent during the marriage you have stated that you and your wife dont spend much time together due to professional commitments and you also have an affair with your colleague which your wife is not aware about nevertheless she thinks you have an affair with a mutual friend i can understand it can be difficult situation for you to cope with i would recommend that if you both dont want to live in this relationship it is better to get separated you have your reasons and are unable to cope with her demanding behaviour she doesnt want children and you also have an affair outside i am sure she has her own reasons and has already taken a step by sending you a letter from her lawyer divorce proceeding can take a long time therefore i would suggest you speak to her and mutually divorce each other try and find a peaceful way of ending it as i am sure you both have some good memories together too and you would respect each others decision if in case you want to work on this marriage consider marriage counselling ms rachana awatramani is a counseling psychologist at insight counseling services in mumbai want expert advice for your relationship send us a mail at expertadvicetoigmailcom