a cheeseandspinach sandwich without soiling his uniform and then thanks his principal for the treat smiling and making eye contact with her when prompted his parents feel an enormous sense of accomplishment their son would not have been able to achieve this feat a few years ago anmol jani has downs syndrome he needs to be bathed but his parents gaurang and harsha are grateful that he dresses eats and uses the toilet independently the ahmedabad couple may not have taken even a weekend vacation in the last 25 years but each time anmol masters a simple bodily function it is like a milestone of freedom in nearby surat nika shah avoids family weddings and vacations because ayushi the second of three daughters has cerebral palsy i cant leave her alone since shes been showing epileptic behaviour when im not around says shah not complaining at all if not for ayushi id be doing a whole lot of social senseless things that mothers these days do goodbye career hello care shah isnt complaining but it isnt easy for mothers to give up careers and lifestyles to teach their children how to say hello or use a toothbrush bangalores m r geetha did not quit her job as an auditor despite having to look after her spastic son sumanth she would take him along to office where she made him sleep eat and spend time under her supervision since sumanth couldnt walk geetha had to carry him along sometimes even with his heavy artifical limbs on in most households with a disabled child the mother is the primary caregiver and anchor most times the diagnosis that the child is disabled hits her the hardest manisha chandgothia the mother of nineyearold shivang was shattered when the doctor told her about his autism for a few days i was completely at a loss she says then i gathered myself together and started reading up about autism it helped and i realised early on that i would have to help my child tide over this a mother also needs to perform the delicate balancing act between her normal and special children its natural for a mother to be drawn toward the weaker child but try explaining that to the others says singh whose youngest son has often told her that she loves his brother more disability did us part marriages can sour under the strain too a single mom confessed that her husband blamed her for their daughters muscular dystrophy he said i had landed him with a liability for life we split when my daughter was four my husband is now married again and has a healthy child if it isnt the blame game it is the burden of care my wife would care for our son every minute of the day even sleeping in his room for the first nine years she blamed herself for his cerebral palsy and was so obsessed with caring for him she didnt let anyone else help