maa ka laadla and bigede baap ka bigeda aaulad are some phrases weve grown up hearing ad nauseam if one were to derive one message from the hammering in of such thoughts its mummygood parent daddybad parent i met an avid reader of this column recently who bemoaned the fact that i wrote more women centric articles and requested i write about men being no lesser as parents than women traditionally the external responsibilities of the indian man as a breadwinner and the protector do give him a tough aura and it takes effort to visualise him exuding an equal degree of mamtaa unfortunately we use this tough provider stereotype to normally conclude dad isnt capable of providing children with equal if not more tenderness compassion love and care it seems apparent women have an innate maternal instinct and build a bond with the child even before it is born after all nine devoted months of pregnancy and the process of childbirth itself forms indescribable immeasurable bond besides women are intrinsically tuned to nurturing and caring for a newborn its safety and development but that also makes them over protective and overwhelmed in times of parental crisis whereas men are generally rational and logic driven and decisionschoices and actions are based on sound reason the way a father can allow a child to go all out and grow up would not be possible with overprotective overbearing mothers fact is were so quick to generalise when in actuality the better parent is not role based but based on levels of individual capabilities working women today who pursue very challenging careers and spend a number of hours racing down the corridors of power realise its not about lack of nurturing ability its about the number of hours at work that sap you of time and energy to do so traditionally a man puts in his hours as provider and mom as nurturer but both are capable of doing the others job equally well lets not undermine a mans ability to be a nurturer just because he didnt change as many nappies or tell them bedtime stories every night its just that they chose to divide their hours and share the responsibilities of parenting being a provider is as essential as being a nurturer lets do away with the assumption that only women can truly nurture and manage their children it seems a conspiracy amongst women to propagate the same and simultaneously lets do away with the assumption that women cant be fantastic providers it seems a conspiracy amongst men to propagate the same1 i am a 19yearold girl in a relation with a boy his parents are against love marriages i really love him and cannot live without him please tell me what should i tell his parents so that they will agree to our relation ufffff parents find religion is a problem caste is a problem educational qualifications are a problem skin colour is a problem and finance is a problem