dust and she has asked herself why am i here and 3000 people are notover time she accepted not knowingbut while im here ive got to make it count says lanski who has spoken at schools and traveled to conferences about terror victims ive got to make up for 3000 people who lost their voiceit motivates me to live a better lifeburied in darkness and 20 feet 6 meters or more of rubble from both towers will jimeno was ready to diethe port authority of new york and new jersey police department rookie was in searing pain from a fallen wall pinning his left side fellow officer dominick pezzulo had died next to him flaming debris had fallen on jimenos arm and heated the cramped area enough that pezzulos gun fired sending a flurry of bullets past jimenos head he had yelled for help for hours he was terribly thirstyif i die today he remembers thinking at least i died trying to help peoplethen jimeno who is catholic had what he describes as a vision of a robed man walking toward him a bottle of water in his handwere going to get out he told sgt john mcloughlin who was trapped with himit was hours of pushing back pain thinking of rescues in past disasters talking to keep alert before they were found and gruelingly extricated by former us marines nypd officers a onetime paramedic and firefighters as blazes flared and debris shifted and fellif you wanted to picture what hell looked like this was probably it recalls thennypd officer ken winklerjimeno was freed around 11 pm mcloughlin the next morning jimeno underwent surgeries and lengthy rehabilitationbut he says his psychological recovery was harder trivial things made him lose his temper fueled he now realizes by anger about the deaths of colleagues and people rescuers couldnt help at times he says he thought of suicide it took three years and multiple therapists before he mastered warding off the outburstsit has helped to tell his story in talks in the 2006 oliver stone movie world trade center and in jimenos two newly released books the illustrated immigrant american survivor for children and sunrise through the darkness about coping with traumathe colombianborn us navy veteran hopes that people see in his story the resiliency of the human soul the american spirit and the power of good people stepping up in bad timessept 11 motivates me to live a better life says jimeno 53 of chester new jersey the way i can honor those we lost and those that were injured is to live a fruitful life to be an example to others that sept 11 did not destroy us