a huff on august 18 2012 less than a week ahead of a test match he was supposed to play against new zealand in front of his home crowd in hyderabadthe surprise announcement set off a wave of speculation that the stylish shot maker had called it quits because of his differences with former india skipper ms dhonilaxman however debunks what he calls the first and only controversy of my cricketing careeri didnt retire because of extraneous forces and i wasnt pushed into retirement he writesi had listened to my inner voice and it had not let me down all my life my actions had been dictated by this voice but in conjunction with suggestions from those closest to me this time with greater maturity i had gone entirely by it disregarding advice from even my father he noteslaxman reveals that he spoke with several indian cricketers including his team mates zaheer khan and sachin before he informed the media about his retirementsachin was at the nca and tried to convince me to defer the press conference i had seldom disregarded sachins advice but i respectfully told him that this time i could not honour his sentiments i told him repeatedly during our onehour conversation that my mind was made up says laxmanit was not the fairytale ending that cricketers dream of but to me it was a fairytale ending nonetheless because i had stepped down on my own terms he writesthe decision was more for myself than to please others i had been strong enough to make the right decision he adds