is how she should be no matter what according to society a good mother is still someone who leaves her job and forgets herself to take care of the child sayanora says she thinks it has been given a divine image to put the maximum responsibility on the mother in the olden days it was fine as women used to stay at home but now its time that things change and responsibilities get shared as both parents are working she saysagreeing with sayanora law academician veena rohan says that the expectations around how to be a mother begins from the moment one gets pregnant life changes overnight for us till then we would have led a carefree life and suddenly you should know all the dos and donts of motherhood in todays age the responsibility rests entirely on the mom who might not even know how to feed the child and all that those around would say is it is no big deal we too have brought up kids veena terms the lack of support like in the ageold joint families a major issue the new moms have to deal with my life is completely depended on a maid if she doesnt come a day i cant go to work we have heard many situations in which moms even jump into wells with her kids it is because she knows that once she leaves nobody will take care of the kids family support is very important and it is tough if you dont have it she explainsthanks to the weight of the expectations many new age women are thinking against having children kollambased researcher noora kamar for instance the thought of motherhood affecting my identity troubles me and gives me second thoughts on having kids i am not really looking forward to motherhood as i like who i am now and also figuring out my own identity better i have seen my own mothers identity getting attached to her three kids alone however noora does think about kids and discusses it with her partner i like the idea of having kids i love the idea of moulding someone into a better person what i am scared of is being responsible for something i might not have a big control over she says creative artist radhika menon who along with her partner has chosen to stay childfree also states the expectations as her reason to think against it i have been reading on the concept called childfree india for quite a while and what i understood is that the happiness level is a lot higher among childfree couples radhika also says that ultimately the responsibility of bringing up children falls on the mother if men ever do they are applauded for being different she says she says that from childhood women are bombarded with images of a happy child and mother every single marketing point is about a happy child and mom even in cinemas the biggest selling point is amma