when you fall in love with someone their parents come as part of the package and since we cant choose our inlaws its important to reach a common ground if you are finding it difficult to get along with them shilpi choudhary a banker says i thought that my husbands two sisters would include me in their relationship and that we would be really close with one another however even twenty years later they do not call or talk much to me and they only want to speak with my husband while for many years it hurt my feelings and caused many arguments between me and my spouse with time i realised that my definition of family was vastly different than theirsthe root of most problems is the difference in ones upbringing each family has its own values traditions and routines everything from the way children should be brought up to how housework should be done is deeply ingrained in a unique family blueprint when your inlaws blueprint is completely different from your own differences of opinion and problems can arise explains relationship expert mahima mathur mahima further adds to get on with your inlaws in a healthy manner your partner and you must present a united front it can be difficult to stand up to a parent and set boundaries and rules but if you and your partner agree with each other and are supportive of one another youre more likely to succeed here are some of the most common areas of conflict between couples and their respective inlaws as well as tips to help you overcome them annoying habitsmeera has a threeweekold daughter and is struggling with feeding problems and lack of sleep but her insensitive sisterinlaw seems to be her biggest problem she drops in at any time of day without notice to visit my baby although i have given out enough hints that i would prefer a phone call first but she just ignores all my hints confesses meera my motherinlaw has this irritating habbit of barging into our bedroom at all times of the day or night and hanging around there with absolutely no respect for our personal privacy once she almost walked in on us having sex it was completely embarassingi vented out my frustration to my hubby but he was totally unmoved saying it was her house and that she was a lonely widow its tough fighting the battle alone so i have just given up but after five years of marriage i just wish my space was respected says 31yearold graphic designer sunita senguptaexpert say everyone has annoying habits as a couple make a list of the annoying things your parents or your inlaws do then summoning all the goodwill you can find agree on the ones you can probably ignore or privately laugh about if there are some you really cant live with discuss the best way of tactfully asking your inlaws to stop doing them if its your parent or