when a marriage breaks down it tends to be the dad who leaves the family home and the latest figures show that after a split mums get to spend an average of 70 per cent of the time with the kids with dad often relegated to weekendonly visits at best as a result fathers are sometimes the forgotten victims of a divorce who end up struggling to be a part of their childrens lives family counsellor denise knowles says she has also noticed a definite rise in this phenomenon were seeing a lot more men who have separated from the mother of their children and feel anxious about how they can continue to play an important role in their childs life especially if a new partner comes along denise explains adding when you dont see your children every day it can be tough to maintain a strong connection but not living under the same roof doesnt have to mean being less involved there are lots of things you can do to be an active dad be civil with your ex however you feel about the mother of your children having an amicable parenting relationship goes a long way to help you stay part of their lives get involved in the daytoday stay involved in the normal daily stuff talk to them about their friends and interests go to parentteacher events and ask their school for details of your childs progress schedule some unspecial time treating your kids is great but being a dad isnt just about fun times its just as important to sit down to eat together or watch tv and to be there when discipline is needed show youre still a family regardless of how the relationship between mum and dad ended youre still a family children must see both of you in parenting roles