query hi my girlfriend and i are in a serious relationship from eight months and have plans of getting married once we are settled in our respective careers the problem is her brother who is seven years older than her he read our whatsapp chat and got to know about our relationship since that day he has been almost threatening me to stop dating her and has been behaving rudely with her as well initially i thought he was just being protective and i did not mind his calls but now he has started influencing her and since she loves him as well she is thinking about breaking up with me such circumstances are normal in a relationship and things eventually fall into place but my girlfriend doesnt understand this help by anonymousresponse by ms rachana awatramani not everything in a relationship is simple especially when it comes to your partners family in some situations it can take a lot of time for them to accept the relationship because they might have different expectation levels i comprehend that your girlfriends elder brother dislikes you and has been creating a very challenging situation for you both i can understand you are stressed as he has been threatening you and now he has also started pressurising your girlfriend to leave you i see that you are aware that these situations arise in a relationship however your girlfriend is not understanding and is getting influenced by her brother and thinks she should break up with you in this challenging situation i would suggest few things firstly you will have to keep patience and give little space to your girlfriend and her family as this situation is new for you as well as new for her elder brother secondly confidently speak to your girlfriend and express your feelings towards this situation you can also share that you expect little support and time to be given to this situation you both can also visit a relationship counsellor to understand how to cope with this situation as a team ms rachana awatramani is a counselling psychologist in mumbaiwant expert advice for your relationship send us a mail at expertadvicetoigmailcom