question i am a 34yearold woman and i have been married for past 7 years it was an arranged marriage initially it was all okay but later my husband and inlaws started to blame and illtreat me for every small thing and also began humiliating me i am a working mother to a 4yearold whos not very strong financially and my husband does not spend a single penny on me or our son he spends only on his mother brother and sister since past one year he drinks everyday and comes home only to fight with me he has abused me physically and mentally on a lot of occasions i am just holding on to this dead marriage because of my son and my oldaged parents my parents have many times spoken to my husband about this but he always abuses them as well i feel very depressed and devastated i want to come out of this marriage please guide me by anonymousanswer by priyanka moryani hey i understand that you are going through an extremely challenging time facing a number of issues in your married lifeit is a proven fact that any relationship has its share of adjustments to be made from both the partners this is applicable in the context of any marriage both love as well arranged marriages as two people who have been single all their lives decide to start living under one roof however there is a vast difference between making adjustments and actually allowing your spouse to exploit you through physical and emotional abuse or for him to take you for granted in the relationship also it seems that you have made sincere efforts to revive your relationship for the sake of your son and parents struggling to cope with your marriage since the last seven years i understand that you are feeling trapped and distressed and have arrived at a decision of wanting to come out of this marriage as mentioned by you however even this decision needs to be implemented with some amount of planning and the following points may help in getting some perspectivean option of applying for another job that will give you more financial security before you decide to move outhaving a transparent conversation with your husband that abuse of any form is not okay and that you will seek legal assistance for the same this would also include factors such as alimonya possibility of living in a nuclear family so that the frequent interference of inlaws could be minimized to a considerable extentif the conflicts with your husband are primarily when he is in an intoxicated state of mind then you could also consider deaddiction as an alternative or even consider marital therapycontinue to make a conscious effort to be assertive for the things that truly matter to you in the context of your relationshipsfinally its important to remember that you need to make a choice without any sense of guilt regardless of the choice you make