what your use of words reveals words are mere reflection of ones thoughts thus if two people are similar in their thoughts interests hobbies etc they would usually communicate in a similar fashion but this only restricts the analysis to verbal communication whereas we also communicate through nonverbal cues to a very large extent how one uses them can tell us a bit about the person they are then pay attention to hisher language for cues and for those who think tweaking words may help pennebaker casts doubts on that and says you can only change your language by changing who you are psychiatrist anjali chhabria says the finding is interesting and can be a good way to predict dating success to a certain extent according to pennebaker all of us tend to use function words like the this though i and an there and that to communicate want to find out if your date is a narcissist or easy going and whether you both are compatible the other factors forming the basis of relationships are far more important using the word we may not always indicate solidarity a person with a higher status uses the word i less pronouns i you they articles a an the prepositions to of for auxiliary verbs is am have and a handful of other common word categories are called function words also if people are aware of the theory of language there could be some who could master the art of language making it impossible to look through the reality a psychologist who has been studying function words claims that two people using similar pronouns while communicating with each other are likely to date in the future one uses i more when they talk to someone with power because theyre more selfconscious hence pronouns cant assess with complete accuracy nor can they predict how long a relationship will last james pennebaker an american psychologist who has been studying the secret life of pronouns for the last 20 years has collected some of his research in a book called the secret life of pronouns women youth and people from lower social classes use pronouns and auxiliary verbs words that supposedly signal both lower status and greater social orientation more frequently more than focusing and analysing language one must be able to understand the person in order to have a longstanding relationship words can often be deceptive dr kamal khurana a relationship coach says its difficult to predict success in human relationships because human beings are complicated what the experts say we words may sound cold rigid and emotionally distant people are focused on themselves how they come across to others and their language reflects this in this book he emphasises that the words used by one can reflect who they arecan pronouns hint at compatibility after studying data collected from conversation samples he found that when the language style of two people matched they used pronouns prepositions articles and so forth