question hi i am a 38yearold woman and i had an arranged marriage when i was 28 years old when we could not have a child after trying for six years our marriage started shaking not because there was any major problem between my husband and me but because of the interference from his family i am an independent and strong woman and i was really hurt when my inlaws started interfering in our private matters unfortunately my husband succumbed to the pressure of his parents and started discussing everything with them including our medical history after that his family members started taunting me while my husband watched helplessly the situation grew from bad to worse and we ended up paying the price with our marriage its been two years since we are divorced and living separate lives i am quite happy but there is one problem my exhusband often visits me and says he has not been able to rest peacefully and that he had wronged me once we got emotional and ended up having sex and after that there is no stopping i dont know where this relationship is heading because i am now his exwife and what worries me is he needs me and i cannot leave him in the hands of his parents because he is weak but otherwise a good man i dont know what to do please help meby anonymousresponse by kamna chhibber this situation you find yourself in is rather complex and it is likely to leave you feeling dissatisfied and unhappy with your life exposing yourself to such a scenario without having an understanding of how you would like to shape this relationship in the future is likely to have a negative effect on you it is important that you think through the choice you would like to make as far as this relationship is concerned as well as the course you would like your life to take based on this decision you should decide upon the approach with which you would like to adopt with your exhusband it is important that in thinking about these things you also keep in mind the past experiences you have had and use those to inform your decision also seeking the support of friends or family members to ensure you are able to implement an option that works best for you though the empathy you feel for your exhusband is admirable it could also leave you rather vulnerable and cause you distress in the future it would be a good idea for him to seek professional support and intervention for the problems he has been having and to manage his relationship with his family kamna chhibber is the head mental health department of mental health and behavioural sciences at fortis healthcarewant expert advice for your relationship send us a mail at expertadvicetoigmailcom