discussing things that may increase anxiety for them if you are eating at home together focus on upbeat topics that arent related to food cheerful conversation can sometimes serve as a good distraction from foodrelated anxiety mosesso says one patients family bought tabletopics 25 amazoncom a box filled with thoughtprovoking questions like if you could master one instrument which would it be to prompt lighthearted discussion if the person lets you know that theyre struggling during the meal ask them what they need from you but avoid talking about their emotions too much she says related 15 diseases doctors often get wrong quicklist 7category 7 things you shouldnt say to someone whos had an eating disordertitle i ate so much last night im going to skip breakfasturltext theres a difference between having disordered eating behaviors and having an eating disorder normalized eating changes every day as mosesso describes someone who doesnt have a history of an eating disorder can binge on thanksgiving dinner one day and skip breakfast these arent healthy behaviors but it doesnt lead that person down the slippery slope of daily restriction take the time to explore your own relationship with food but understand that while you may be able to eat a sleeve of oreos and skip your next meal without ruminating too long about it just talking about that could trigger a relapse in someone in recovery what should you say ask how you can be supportive mosesso suggests and be there for them to do or say whatever they need dont be confrontational and dont become the food policemonitoring everything they put in their mouths you avoid talking only about their eating disorder which can diminish who they are as a person mosesso stresses dont define them by their disease encourage their individual thoughts feelings and beliefs outside of recovery this article originally appeared on healthcom