a long dating game leaves room for boredom a whirlwind romance doesnt give you time to judge whats the perfect courtship lengthkate middleton played the waiting game so long she was nicknamed waity katie she and prince william took all of eight years to take their relationship to the next level they arent the only ones american musics power couple jayz and beyonce decided to wed after a sixyear courtship while actors genelia dsouza and riteish deshmukh said yes after eight life is a race against time but extended courtships are often seen as the true test of compatibility theres more than enough time for the loveydovey spark to die out to witness neurosis on foulmood days and for quirks that once seemed endearing to turn annoying our long courtship helped us withstand the biggest test of all time says 28yearold ruhi gupta whose courtship lasted six years before she got married in 2010 but the question that boggles most lovers is whether a long courtship makes for longterm marriage or does it leave room for insecurity and worse boredom actors john abraham and bipasha basu ended their relationship in 2011 after courting each other for close to a decadewhy the wait if tabloids are to be believed basu and abrahams love developed cracks when he dragged his feet over taking the marital plunge beverly hillsbased psychotherapist dr debra holland author of maintaining a relationship from the courtship stage and beyond says a relationship lasts too long without culminating in marriage if one of the partners is unwilling to commit one partner can end up tired and choose to leave the reluctant partner could admit to not loving the other enough to marry or a person can force the partner to marry threatening a breakup she says sometimes people are afraid of being alone and settle at least for a while she addsgood or bad dr samir parikh director department of mental health and behavioral sciences at fortis healthcare argues against long courtships they highlight disparities between individuals and might also take away spontaneity by causing overfamiliarity knowing a partner for several years takes away from the adventure of discovery that marriages involves he says dr ted huston a professor of human ecology at the university of texas austin disagrees he headed the longestrunning study of courtship and marriage in the us launched in 1979 studying 168 couples everyday life over 14 years unlike tempestuous bollywood romances its the best friend variety of courtship and marriage slow and steady and unfold over time that last long his research revealed couples who enjoyed lasting marriages had let their courtship unfold at a leisurely pace and entered a legal union with their eyes openwhat stage are you at interestingly experts have managed to break down a relationship into six stages romance lasts about 18 months identity coming to terms with reality and the fact that no ones perfect foundation degree of disillusionment creeps in divergence couples realise