to help readers cope their anxieties in these stressful times toi has launched talk it a series under which our panel expert counsellors answer your mental health this week advice comes from yea psychologist surii am a 46 year old woman born in a family highly valued education did my mba from an average college during my career i was meek and of seniors i was never considered for important role now do nt have a job and am not able get despite hard upskilling is expensive and consuming i think better to invest in my children than myself as i do not see any value in doing it at this age i regret my decisions all the when i see others who were not so privileged having succeeded how do i get over this feeling anonymousdespite what has happened by writing off giving what you need you could carry of regrets into the future changing one s narrative about oneself to that of being worthy and deserving best is a starting point the positive aspect of regrets is not repeating the choices we made in the and making different choices now we can be proactive foresighted is only in hindsight we get a perspective on what could have done differently age is not a barrier but limiting thoughts are even your in help a sign of resilience a voice in you is saying i want to do your children be better with who starting to stand up moving positively and drive determination and success remember success lies in not giving up or my brother adopted a 10 year girl unfortunately she both adoptive parents in the second covid my sister and are both senior citizens baby is now with her maternal uncle problem is says he can not take her future my wife and i are above sixty does nt much energy we are a of confusion will biological parents accept her how can help her anonymousthe s ongoing suffering makes the critical i suggest a professional psychological evaluation of mental and consulting a lawyer about the implications of her present situation and going back to the biological parents is paramount that she has caregivers for the long haul the traumatic experience of being given up adoption losing both parents to covid and over to a reluctant uncle is just too much for anyone especially a child you have nt mentioned the circumstances under which biological parents handed her for adoption if lack of was the only reason and why they may not want to take her back maybe handing her back to with a for her long term education sustenance