elizabeth wolf lives with her 81yearold father and 65yearold mother who both have dementia sharedelizabeth wolf lives with her 81yearold father and 65yearold mother who both have dementia here elizabeth helps her mother nancycreditmark makela for the new york timesslide 1 of 15 elizabeth wolf lives with her 81yearold father and 65yearold mother who both have dementia here elizabeth helps her mother nancycreditmark makela for the new york timesmarch 4 2016in 2010 elizabeth wolf then 30 was living in vermont working for a nonprofit and happily exploring new pursuits from raising chickens to contra dancingbut after several disturbing phone calls from and about her parents louis and nancy brood she moved back into the splitlevel in mt laurel nj where she and her siblings had grown up with her now husband casey wolf she expected to arrange caregiving help for her parents then return to vermont five years later she is still taking care of her 81yearold father and 65yearold mother both with dementia ms wolf who volunteers with the alzheimers assoication writes about the experience at upsidedowndaughtercom her interview has been edited and condensed for space and claritymy parents called me one day in march and started singing happy birthday it was unsettling my birthday is in maymy uncle called too he and my father had owned an upholstery shop in philadelphia for 50 years and it was really bothering him that my dad couldnt do simple math anymorei dont remember all the doctors appointments that led to dad seeing a neurologist but i do remember the appointment where they subjected him to the minimental test he came away from that examination with an alzheimers diagnosiswe were very concerned about my mother too she was asking us the same questions over and over i said id talk to the teacher whose classroom she worked in as an aidethe teacher said your mother is basically not functioning she just sits at a table in the back of the classroom and stares out the windowit had been going on for a long time and we had all been so focused on my dad we had missed it we ended up taking her to the same neurologist and she got an alzheimers diagnosis tooi told casey were going to come back for two months october through december it became apparent very soon that we would need to stay longerthe doctors told me that people with alzheimers have an average life span between diagnosis and death of five to seven years so i knew were in this for the long haul whatever that looks likenow every morning i wake up around 6 or 630 ill bring dad his medicinei take mom to the bathroom i have to take her every couple of hours otherwise we have what happened this morning when theres not only a major accident but the mess ends up everywhere and i have to get her in the bathi prepare their breakfast she takes medicine for diabetes hypothyroidism high blood