question hi i am a 27year old woman working in a multinational company in chennai i have been dating a female colleague for the past two years and we are quite serious about our relationship we are even considering moving to a country where gay marriage is legal and acceptable most of our close friends know about us and even her parents although they arent very welcoming to the idea of us moving to another country yet they have accepted our relationship but my problem is that i belong to a very conservative brahmin family my parents are very traditional godfearing and value their position in society when my elder sister married a muslim man against their wishes my father had a stroke and he was hospitalised it has been four years and they have never accepted her marriage nor allows her to come to our place she is as good as dead for them they have pinned all their hopes on me trust me i have tried being in a relationship with boys i was frustrated depressed and sexually dissatisfied which almost drove me mad i am very sure about my sexual orientation and i cannot change that nor can i tell my parents about it and i cannot even live without my girlfriend please tell me what should i do i am in a desperate situation because i dont know if my parents would be able to survive this piece of news about me by anonymousresponse by kamna chhibber this is a big conundrum and you have a lot of knowledge of how your parents potential response can be to a situation which they would perhaps consider unconventional like you mention you seem fairly certain that they would not find this scenario acceptable and it is likely that they would not associate with you either the same way in which they chose to be with your sister and have been disconnected from her for the past four years you would need to make a choice despite however difficult it may be and determine a path for yourself you would need to simultaneously prepare yourself to manage the consequences of following that path regardless of what they are any choice that we make as individuals is bound to have consequences and repercussions attached to it and it is necessary that we take ownership of both the choices we make and the consequences that follow through on account of them take time have conversations with the people around you if required meet a therapist with whom you can have further discussions in an unbiased and nonjudgmental setting and then take the decision you are most convinced about trust yourself and your ability to handle the situations that would follow kamna chhibber is the head mental health department of mental health and behavioural sciences at fortis healthcarewant expert advice for your relationship send us a mail at expertadvicetoigmailcom