get or maintain an erection he may have prostate issues and it is important to get that checked out right away have him schedule an appointment with an urologist rule out any health problems before you begin talking about what could be happening emotionally when you have ruled out cancer his testosterone levels have been checked and you have had discussions around his stress levels then you can look deeper into your relationshipbe sure your spouse is willing to work on the issue tooif your spouse is not willing to see a relationship therapist alone or with you its very telling we recommend going to a professional in almost all cases if either partner is still emotionally committed but if your partner really doesnt give a damn about you or the marriage and the two of you are just coexisting then you really need to think about what you want the rest of your life to be likemake time for intimacythe good news is that for the most otherwise healthy emotionally intimate couples who are both willing to put in work its relatively easy to spark a new fire to start a little romance never hurts and yes we are talking about toys new positions new places and unexpected romance within your relationship be intimate share quiet moments where you simply look at each other hold hands and talk about your feelings nothing not even sex is more intimate than having a compassionate partner who has your back as for the sex itself try mixing it up tell your spouse about your secret fantasy and ask if he or she is willing to try it and then ask about your partners secret fantasy and offer to indulge it