as children or denied the love and attention they needed while growing up they then end up placing the onus on their partner to fulfil all those unmet needs says sarasthis is also where decolonial therapy work interventions developed to navigate the indian context and its complex caste class and relationship enmeshments with family and the community comes inthe first challenge is often to find answers to do i want to be with himherthem as opposed to does heshethey want me or do i love and respect this person rather than what can i do to make himherthem love and respect me for most people especially women and gender minorities who have grown up in violent critical or neglectful homes to identify oneself as a person with needs in itself can take painstaking work and awarenessbuildingbut this knowledge is easier to imbibe today than ever thanks to a wealth of literature that newage traumainformed therapists such as neha bhat indiansextherapist on instagram are constantly putting out information on simple ways to regulate your nervous system practicing nonviolent communication and mindfulness also make your journey easierunfortunately a lot of trauma bonding happens within the lgbtqia community as well and this too has primarily to do with the lack of early parental support and care the queer community wants the same markers for a successful relationship as the heterosexual society does because many of them are estranged from their families and finding a partner who is like you accepts you and stays with you translates to safety says queeraffirmative somatic psychotherapist sneha roohqueer members in trauma bonds know when there is abuse but feel like theyre walking on eggshells they feel this intense longing which comes from a hormonal rush when theyre trying to leave the relationship because they fear that if they walk away they may not find anyone else who accepts them a common trauma response in people from gendersexual minorities says sneha when someone in such a situation is seeking answers therapists friends and families must be patient acknowledge that they are breaking out of a very strong traumatic conditioning and stand by them until they gather strength to leaveyou know youre in a trauma bond when your abusive partner is overly selfcritical after hurting you and you are always covering up for them you complyplease them to feel loved and avoid being discarded or punished you stop expressing yourself to avoid conflict you are scared to upset them or fear leaving because it may escalate abusehow to heal from a trauma bond if you cannot immediately leave separate yourself from your partner as often as possible spend time alone to reflect on the triggers that are causing you to hurt but also stay find a support group trusted friends to counter the loneliness you may feel if you are unable to spot red flags make a note of green flags for clarity things you truly want from a relationship educate yourself read