this piece is not about shaktikapoor my muses tend to be way classier like razamurad in the 28 years of my life ive gone from being a baby to a toddler to a boy to a man who wonders why the h is silent in honest ive gone from keeping toffee wrappers in my pant pockets to throwing coffee cups on the pavement but theres one thing that has remained the same the towel has stayed on the bathroom floor much to the chagrin of the women in my life especially my maid not to be confused with shiney ahujas maid and i know im not the only one yes we indian men are litterbugs but none of it is our fault to begin with its our moms fault out of all the overwhelming love in their hearts they picked up the towel the first time we left it on the floor later we just threw in the towel and moved on to more lifealtering things like trigonometry and our dads also indian men by sheer coincidence never cared about towels they were too busy working hard to put food on the table even if they never actually helped out in putting food on the table lets face it we love creating a mess and letting our moms do the cleaning up look at rahul gandhis career and youll see what i mean in sharp contrast theres narendra modis swachh bhaarat drive you think he couldve done it while living with his mom no way chances are if the old lady got wind of it even now shed be like haaye how can mera baccha carry a broom yes there are tissues halfeaten burgers pizza boxes and empty coke bottles just round every corner but that again is not our fault as is fashionable to suggest these days its manmohan singhs fault why did he have to allow liberalization that brought these western fastfood chains that spoilt indian culture indian roads and indian crows digestive systems but thats not even the worst of it the other day during my morning run i saw a used condom in the middle of a flyover at this point to be fair my reaction leaped from the usual tsk tsk litter in a public place to why on a flyover dude why not a room who are you batman i wish i knew this earlier but this love for littering doesnt really make us the smoothest of mencan you ever imagine an indian james bond shaken not stirred he says as he orders a drink thats not a martini sud denly someone fires a shot everybody get down he says from under the table with a leg of butter chicken he crawls out throwing the half chewed piece of chicken on an unsuspecting stranger he looks for a gun in his car but finds only one year old mall parking tickets he revs up the car but gets stuck in traffic