feeling safe in a relationship is a process and couples will need to develop tools and ways of communicating much of which is nonverbal to return to the secure feelings once the inevitable flare ups occur spiritual sex the transformative power of feeling safe how did i get to be such a doormat when did i develop such a deeprooted fear of offending others what caused me to place other peoples needs ahead of my own what did i think would happen if horror of horrors i were to actually displease someone when being nice just doesnt cut it anymore