to help readers cope with their anxieties in these stressful times toi has launched talk it out a series under which our panel of expert counsellors will answer your mental health queries this weeks advice comes from psychologist bhavya kulshreshthathe major issue i face is about my sexuality i think i am a gay man and feel no emotional attachment with any female i could not tell this truth to my parents i am afraid that they will not accept me i contacted other men through apps but i dont have courage to meet them as i am constantly worried about being identified i feel very depressed sometimes and even have suicidal thoughts please help me so i can live a normal life like everyone else 30yearold tutorthank you for your bravery and vulnerability exploring ones sexuality can be a confusing and trying process for no fault of the individuals but because of the heteronormative world we live in if we are not able to explore parts of ourselves or step into who we truly are we may feel deep sadness and even look for a way out i encourage you to seek out support groups for lgbtqia individuals these are confidential nonjudgemental and supportive spaces where their concerns are discussed you may also find that other members who have taken this journey before you are willing to share their wisdom in terms of how they navigated coming out to their families or the online dating scene you are not alone you are worthy as you are and you deserve a safe space where your identity is celebrated and honoured consult a psychologist for the thoughts of ending your lifei am 28 i have problems with my mom she still thinks im a kid and doesnt allow me to date im so tired of her controlling me she always discriminates because of the colour of my skin as im the only one in the family who is dark and different these days i rarely communicate with my parents i even have anxiety attacks at times when i think of my future please help anonymouslooking at the culture of india in terms of patriarchy colourism and gender roles it makes sense that you would be feeling so much pressure these systems tell us who we can and cannot be and often speak through our loved ones too but you are allowed to set boundaries with family boundaries can sound like while i appreciate your concern i am an adult and i need you to let me make my own decisions i need you to stop commenting on my appearance i understand that you mean well when you give me advice and i need to make my own choices and i have decided to meet this person tonight and i would like you to respect that be ready for resistance to these changes and for your mother pushing back against your boundaries you may need to stand firm regardless of her displeasure