and upon meeting them i realised that their life is in danger they have asked for my help on a communitybased initiation of a tourism project both of us werent familiar with the term ecotourism at the time i had no knowledge of conservation at all however i was in awe of their bravery and determination and decided to support it actively by moving to the amazon and dedicating myself fully and totally in the project i have learned a lot from the community but also delved into a deep research and soon became familiar with all major players ngos government agencies policy makers ethnobotanists etc i have made myself an expert but was driven by my naivet and by the dream that held us together i believe that only the naive can achieve what the professional will fail since the naive has no limitations or concepts of whats possible and not armed with naivete we have achieved unprecedented success this was the first time ever as far as we know that an indigenous community was financed directly by an international bank idb without any ngo to mediate not only that we have raised money and built an amazing ecotourism resort fully owned and operated by the indigenous community we have also became an inspiration to many other indigenous communities in the amazon and throughout the world the viability of the project is also unprecedented since our resort still thrives 10 years later how long did it take you to recover from the physical and mental trauma of your ordeal my physical recovery was fast and swift however a tropical blood infection kept me in a brazilian hospital for three months i was lucky since this disease has claimed many thousands of life in the amazon i never suffered from any mental trauma i never had even one nightmare related to my survival experience i never perceived it as a personal tragedy and i never felt that the amazonian jungle was a hostile predator quite the contrary i felt ever closer to the forest and keen to return and experience more of it which i did in 1992 making the amazon my home for three years i am still connected to the rainforest in the sense that my family dwells in the midst of a national park in a subtropical rainforest of the australian hinterlands the mental trauma that i suffered can be seen as the bent in my conditioning after the experience in the amazon i have tried to go back to normal life within the context of my upbringing and my society to my distress and dismay i did not belong anymore i was haunted by existential questions about life and the big picture who am i and what am i doing here the pursuit of success as i perceived it before wasnt enough i have tried to move on with my life but simply couldnt i found myself wondering again in search of something i have touched