manoj bhavnani an advertising professional from where who marriage lasted five years sees it differently people have a tendency to be idealistic about the past wed like to think politicians were once honest and marriages were good says bhavnani who views marriage as a social contract to have children one that holds little water in an age of single parenting and adoption marriage as a concept is fast approaching its sellby date even the government now recognizes the legal validity of the livein relationship he argues rattling off names of five people he knows who arehave dissolved their marriages within a span of a couple of years sudha ramalingam an advocate and social activist in chennai says that of those who have approached her to litigate within weeks of marriage some have families backing them all the way earlier parents would tell their children dont come weeping if things dont work out theyre now saying if you cant adjust come back our social setup is more accepting says the lawyer adding this isnt just a big city phenomenon ive also seen marriages break up within a couple of years in smaller cities like salem pondicherry and madurai she states many of these marriages are too short for the couple to have children and that saves them a whole deal of custodial wrangling when they want out interestingly while both parties may have resisted reconciliation in marriage they embrace it in divorce to make it quick and painless according to statistics from bandra family court in mumbai the number of divorce cases based on mutual consent disposed between april 2011 and march 2012 was 1993 about 101 more than those contested for the same period of course here again they dont indicate the timeframe of these unions varkha chulani mumbaibased clinical psychiatrist and psychotherapist places part of the blame for quick splits on our need for instant gratification narcissism is at an all time high she maintains its about me myself and my own baggage and you with yours not collaboratively ours she says individuals have their own lifestyles goals and value systems that are increasingly more custombuilt and intractable couples are ready to part ways for reasons that may have once been considered frivolous like the husbands objection to the wifes transfer or a difference in lifestyle goals or for reasons that are newly emerging into the open like sexual incompatibility or deviance a complaint several of chulanis clients bring up theres another factor weighing in on shrinkwrapped marriage the growing economic and concomitant social independence of women that permits many to walk out mriganka pandey a 30yearold filmmaker in delhi pulled out of wedlock almost immediately after marrying her colleague when she discovered what she calls a shocking mismatch of expectations after marriage he wanted me to be a traditional wife with duties but i cannot conform to any preset ideals says pandey who walked out of her marital home after a few months and after a year