happy with us he says meanwhile for the sahais in lucknows indiranagar life resembles the movie hum saath saath hain retired assistant superintendent of police horendra sahai his three sons daughtersinlaw and five grandchildren share a home my father is a cohesive force his experience and wisdom has kept the flock together through highs and lows says elder son anand there are disadvantages like the greater need to adjust or the absence of freedom like just walking out to get dinner outside without a stated reason admits his brother rishi but the family says the advantages shared responsibilities help at hand healthy discussions and a sense of togetherness far outweigh them some families originally joint units split because of tensions between individuals only to come together again later like the ghosh family in kolkatas baguiati three siblings and their families live across five flats where the youngest is five and the oldest 72 the bonding is so strong among the cousins that they cant even think of living separately now says debalina hazra the daughterinlaw of one of the siblings that doesnt mean that ideas of individualism certain expectations of the conjugal relationship or women working outside the home havent seeped in says sociologist janaki abraham people arent necessarily living jointly because of love alone but also because it is a convenient arrangement or they are materially invested in the larger unit as seen in many business families she says a large urban property may not be easy to partition she points out compared to a rural home with land around that can be easily divided a lot of people gravitating to nuclear families think that a big setup will deprive them of privacy but then they also crave for life of a gated community the pull is the same except that here its your own family says 53yearold imna kumar who is part of the large joseph clan in cit colony in chennais mylapore neighbourhood meanwhile why are village households choosing the nuclear model one has to look at the whole economy as agricultural land fragments so does the rural family that once lived off it with some share in the income says abraham then there is migration in search of jobs but despite the stereotype of the single male migrant worker many workers also migrate in pairs says irudaya rajan demographer and associate professor at the centre for development studies the children are often left behind with grandparents in the village so that their schooling is not interrupted one must remember that even if the rural family has to separate the ideology of the family is often intact palriwala points out migrant workers return home for rituals or at harvest time there may be a common budget as they send money home so the move away may not mean a breaking away at all she says in other words family patterns in india do not follow the expected tracks urbanisation and modernisation do