for rs 20 lakh and paying all emis and chit funds which we took to manage the huge debt though i earn a handsome salary every month i struggle to make ends meet i feel like a bonded slave for life i am not able to enjoy life or spend one peaceful moment with my child many a time i feel like seeking help from police but then i dread if they will do harm to my inlaws and daughters if not for the huge support and love extended by my family i would not be living now despite all this i constantly go through depressions and i am now consulting a psychotherapist though it is an expensive affair i have lost all confidence and hope in life many a days i pray that let me be run over by a bus or truck because i dont have any drive or motivation to live through another day the only hope that leads me in life is the hope for a fight which i need to take up for the many women who go through such situations and who might have been less fortunate than methe writer has requested anonymity fearing threat from the moneylenders