that was said with such a tone of determination that i was sure shed find a way or make one i pleaded with her to wait a day wondering whether shed change her mind over night the next day when i reached she was already waiting at the gatei can still clearly picture her she was dressed in silk with her perfectly round bindi kajal and even her favourite necklace ready for anything she looked like the ocean beautiful strong ready and calm i didnt know if she knew that she this was going to be her last trip with me it was like she was celebrating life herself and this mission im glad i had the privilege to do this last trip with heri was with her at st johns just two days back and while overcome with emotion i see how she was generous even in death donating her body to science how can anyone beat that how can anyone keep giving even when they cant give any more she looked so peaceful it was important for me to be a part of this journey to st johns i still yearn to be something like her its all i know its all i ever want to be my greatest relationship has been my journey with my ajjishe was a role model not just for her grandchildren and her family but for all women artists and everyone who crossed her path a true feminist in every sense she is in my bones in my veins in my dna in my thoughts my acts and so much more i miss her but she is me in every part of my body mind and soul i want to make her proud i just collected my forms for body donation ill take one step at a time not too soon not too late but ill get there i promise being all i can be for all i can be for as long as i can be just like my ajji