washington with inauguration festivities that struck distinctly weddinglike notes he strode down an aisle and took a vow she wore a long white dress the youthfullooking couple swayed to a love song in a ceremonial first dance and then settled into a new house since then photograph after official white house photograph has shown the obamas gazing into each others eyes while performing one or another official function there is a shot of the obamas entering a cinco de mayo reception his arm draped protectively around her back then theres a photo of the president placing a kiss on his wifes cheek after his address on healthcare to congress postersize versions of these and other photographs are displayed in rotation along the white house corridors its hard to think of another workplace decorated with such looming evidence of affection between the principal players the centrality of the obama marriage to the presidents political brand opens a new chapter in the debate that has run through even helped define their unionsince he first began running for office in 1995 barack and michelle obama have never really stopped struggling over how to combine politics and marriage how to navigate the long absences lack of privacy ossified gender roles and generally stultifying rules that result when public opinion comes to bear on private relationships along the way they revised some of the standards for how a politician and spouse are supposed to behave they have spoken more frankly about marriage than most intact couples especially those running for office usually do the bumps happen to everybody all the time and they are continuous the first lady told me in a lets getreal voice discussing the lowest point in her marriage candidates wives are supposed to sit cheerfully through their husbands appearances but after helping run her husbands first state senate campaign in 1996 michelle obama largely withdrew from politics for years fully reengaging only for the presidential campaign as a result she has probably logged fewer total sittingthroughmyhusband speech hours than most of her recent predecessors even the goforbroke quality of the presidents rise can be read in some small part as an attempt to vault over the forces that fray political marriages people who face too many demands two careers two children often scale back somehow the obamas scaled up this is the first time in a long time in our marriage that weve lived seven days a week in the same household with the same schedule with the same set of rituals michelle obama pointed out until last november they had not shared a fulltime roof since 1996 two years before malia was born thats been more of a relief for me than i would have ever imagined the couple now spend more time together than at nearly any other point since their early years together on many days they see malia and sasha off to school exercise together and do not begin their public schedules until