an offensive lineman and captain of the 2012 missouri team you dont set out wanting to know each others life but you spend so much time with each other you cant help but know them i knew and i love the guyimagecreditaugust kryger for the new york timesa singular seasonby last august sams sexuality was an open secret here he had told a professor he was gay and had become a genial presence at the soco club in columbia a nightclub and cabaret that hosts regular drag shows among other eventsmarty newman socos owner and general manager said sam was open about who he was a gay man and a football star he was happy to talk sports with the bartenders and anyone elseno one felt the need to out him newman said he was respected here and was allowed to be himselfin sams senior season missouri finished 122 and won the cotton bowl he made firstteam allamerican and was voted by his teammates as missouris most valuable playeron monday pinkel tried to put in words a singular season that began with his noisiest players startling announcement and ended with dozens of men standing by their teammate in the national spotlightpretty cool was the best he could doon saturday night over chinese food at the home of his publicist howard bragman sam was joined by an exclusive group the fraternity of publicly gay athletes and their peers who have made a cause of supporting themdave kopay and wade davis who came out as gay after retiring from professional football and bill bean who did so after retiring from professional baseball were there along with brendon ayanbadejo and chris kluwe two former nfl players who have been outspoken in their support of gay rightsit was a chance to celebrate sam on his last night of relative anonymity but it was also a way to tell him about the world he was diving intokopay a 71yearold former running back playfully punched sam a couple of times to emphasize just how intensely he would have to work he also reminded sam that if they had been freshmen together in 1960 sam as a black man would not have been entirely welcome norris stevenson broke the color barrier for missouri in 1957well youre just taking another step forward now kopay saidkluwe told him he would not have many problems with players theyre there to play football he saidthe men in charge will pose problems kluwe said its the general managers and coaches who are going to say its a distractionthen theres the public at large the millions of sports fans who will soon see a publicly gay player standing tall on an nfl teams defensive line it is too early to know how they will react but perhaps the evolution in sams own family offers a cluei believe in a persons destiny his aunt geraldine sam said if thats the way he is im not trying to put my religious beliefs on anyone i