them again, tell 'em the Wild Hogs will
          be right here in Lucas tonight.
          Woody puts his face into his hands. (YELLING OUT)
          Alright, Wild Hogs. We know you're in
          town somewhere, 'cause you haven't DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. Ride free." That's the Wild Hog creed. WOODY
          shit.
          (to Hells Angels)
          I meant full-figured.
          The Hells Angels close to within a few feet of the "Wild
          Hogs," and raise their weapons to strike. BOB
          Wild Hogs ride!
          The guys continue with enthusiastic cheers as we hear the "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40.

          EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER the Hells Angels.
          The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. being a "Wild Hog" meant something!
          Woody takes off his "Wild Hogs" jacket and throws it at
          their feet. He hops out of the fountain and storms off CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          We're not going to live in fear of your
          gang anymore, Jack. If the Wild Hogs can BOB
          He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs!
          Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain.

                         DOUG "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43.

          EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON JACK
          Come on, now. You shouldn't be
          protecting them. These "Wild Hogs," not
          only passed us when we specifically told JACK (CONT'D)
          So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your
          gang? about it. The camera pans around and we see they are all
          wearing "Wild Hogs" jackets. And on this, we: into the street. The camera rotates around him and comes
          to rest on the back of his jacket, where we see a large
          patch that reads "Wild Hogs." The camera ZOOMS IN ON Suddenly, the door pops open on the port-o-potty and the
          WILD HOGS topple out of it in a heap. We see they're WILD HOGS



                                   Written by

                                  Brad Copeland JACK
          Give me the crowbar.
          Oilcan nods and hands it to Jack. Jack smiles at the
          four fallen Wild Hogs. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 66.

          EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME
JACK (CONT'D)
          So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your
          gang? JACK
          Well, well. The "Wild Hogs." I'm glad
          to see you're finally showing us a little
          respect. JACK
          Come on, now. You shouldn't be
          protecting them. These "Wild Hogs," not
          only passed us when we specifically told DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. JACK
          Give me the crowbar.
          Oilcan nods and hands it to Jack. Jack smiles at the
          four fallen Wild Hogs. WOODY
          shit.
          (to Hells Angels)
          I meant full-figured.
          The Hells Angels close to within a few feet of the "Wild
          Hogs," and raise their weapons to strike. about it. The camera pans around and we see they are all
          wearing "Wild Hogs" jackets. And on this, we: CHARLEY
          And I believe that's his jacket.
          Jack begrudgingly takes off Dudley's "Wild Hogs" jacket
          and tosses it to him. Dudley proudly puts it on. being a "Wild Hog" meant something!
          Woody takes off his "Wild Hogs" jacket and throws it at
          their feet. He hops out of the fountain and storms off CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          We're not going to live in fear of your
          gang anymore, Jack. If the Wild Hogs can BOB
          Wild Hogs ride!
          The guys continue with enthusiastic cheers as we hear the into the street. The camera rotates around him and comes
          to rest on the back of his jacket, where we see a large
          patch that reads "Wild Hogs." The camera ZOOMS IN ON (YELLING OUT)
          Alright, Wild Hogs. We know you're in
          town somewhere, 'cause you haven't "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 103.
          Jack looks down at Dudley, then to the other bikers.

                         JACK "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 108.
          Jack looks back to the Hells Angels, who chuckle. This
          will be a quick fight. them again, tell 'em the Wild Hogs will
          be right here in Lucas tonight.
          Woody puts his face into his hands. alongside Doug. They nod silently to each other and tap
          fists like the toughest guys in the world. We see Bob is
          also wearing a "Wild Hogs" jacket. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43.

          EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON JACK
          Good.
          (to Hells Angels)
          Saddle up, boys.
          The guys get on their bikes.

                         JACK (CONT'D) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 86.
          Jack laughs.
WOODY

                         (TO HIMSELF)
          Come after us now, assholes.
          Woody goes along to each bike, smiling with a weird
          recklessness as he slices through each gas line. he is, and kneels next to the line of Hells Angels
          motorcycles. He takes out an army knife, and slices
          through one of the motorcycle's gas line. Gas starts JACK
          What the f--
          (sees cut gas line)
          You've gotta be kidding me. the bikes sputter and choke to a stop.
          ANGLE ON: JACK. He's on his hog, with a cigarette
          dangling out of his mouth. He looks down in confusion at (QUICKLY)
          Okay, let's ride!
          The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up
          the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming
          profanities as they guiltily ride away. Suddenly, the cigarette falls out of Jacks mouth, and
          onto the ground. A puddle of gas from the sliced line
          catches on fire. DOUG
          We are the real bikers.
          As Doug says this, Dudley kicks the Panhead into gear and Jack starts his bike and roars out of the town. The
          others follow him, gunning their bikes and leaving skid
          marks and smoke in their trail. A kid yells at the Hells WOODY
          We can still outrun them. They're fat.
          Woody turns around to see Hells Angles have now closed in
          behind them, blocking their escape. Jack smiles. SFX: SIREN
          Jack and the Hells Angels look up the road.
          ANGLE ON: DOWN STREET. CHARLEY is riding his shiny Woody starts up his bike. Doug and Bob look at each
          other and shrug. Dudley hurries out of the sidecar. The crowd chatters in approval as Dudley gets on the '51
          Panhead and starts the engine. He revs it a few times
          and Jack shoots Doug an infuriated glare. The Hells Angels park their bikes. We see all the
          townspeople have stopped enjoying themselves, and just
          stand there, scared. Jack gets off his bike and looks
          around.

                         JACK The Hells Angels roar away from the bar on their
          motorcycles. They get to the end of the driveway, and EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

          JACK, and the other bikers stand by the smoldering pile
          of wood that was once their bar. OILCAN approaches Jack. INT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

          Jack is playing darts with the other bikers. He goes to
          throw a dart and hears engines roar past the bar outside. Jack takes a garbage can and tosses it into the diner
          window. The crowd gasps, as the Hells Angels laugh.
          CHARLEY steps out of the crowd. The Hells Angels have returned, and set up shop in the
          diner, but are also flowing out onto the street. Jack
          stumbles into the middle of the road, with a bottle of
          tequila in his hand. JACK
          Good.
          (to Hells Angels)
          Saddle up, boys.
          The guys get on their bikes.

                         JACK (CONT'D) JACK (CONT'D)
          shit.
          The flames quickly follow the line of leaked gas like a
          fuse, back towards the bar.
Jack starts his bike and roars out of the town. The
          others follow him, gunning their bikes and leaving skid
          marks and smoke in their trail. A kid yells at the Hells We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn
          and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of
          the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - The Hells Angels park their bikes. We see all the
          townspeople have stopped enjoying themselves, and just
          stand there, scared. Jack gets off his bike and looks
          around.

                         JACK The Hells Angels roar away from the bar on their
          motorcycles. They get to the end of the driveway, and DOUG
          We are the real bikers.
          As Doug says this, Dudley kicks the Panhead into gear and JACK
          Those assholes think they can cross the
          Hells Angels? Do you know how bad
          they've made us all look!?
          The gang nods. They all look pissed. INT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

          Jack is playing darts with the other bikers. He goes to
          throw a dart and hears engines roar past the bar outside. The Hells Angels have returned, and set up shop in the
          diner, but are also flowing out onto the street. Jack
          stumbles into the middle of the road, with a bottle of
          tequila in his hand. They go to park their bikes, but there's not enough
          space. There's a police car in the parking spot next to
          them, and the town sheriff, CHARLEY, comes running The Hells Angels are suddenly silent. Jack turns back
          and looks at Doug in disbelief - then rage. Doug starts
          to look a little worried. DOUG
          Well, what's the point of being in a
          motorcycle gang if we can't ourselves in
          a little trouble?
          Woody looks back at him. Doug smiles a little bit. CHARLEY
          You guys aren't Hells Angels?

                         DOUG
          No. We're Wild Hogs. That's our gang. the Hells Angels.
          The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. SFX: SIREN
          Jack and the Hells Angels look up the road.
          ANGLE ON: DOWN STREET. CHARLEY is riding his shiny The crowd is silent for a moment, then hesitantly gives a
          uncomfortable cheer. Charley turns back to the Hells
          Angels. The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw
          before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. Harley Davidson police bike. Behind him are BUCK and
          EARL, driving a police cruiser. Behind the cruiser is a
          large group of people carrying rakes, hedge clippers, DOUG
          Wait!! Wait a minute!
          The Hells Angels stop.

                         DOUG (CONT'D) the bikes sputter and choke to a stop.
          ANGLE ON: JACK. He's on his hog, with a cigarette
          dangling out of his mouth. He looks down in confusion at
Jack takes a garbage can and tosses it into the diner
          window. The crowd gasps, as the Hells Angels laugh.
          CHARLEY steps out of the crowd. DOUG
          We are the real bikers.
          As Doug says this, Dudley kicks the Panhead into gear and Doug exits and looks around the corner of the building,
          making sure the Hells Angels are still sleeping, then
          starts walking towards a wooded park behind the town. Jack starts his bike and roars out of the town. The
          others follow him, gunning their bikes and leaving skid
          marks and smoke in their trail. A kid yells at the Hells alongside Doug. They nod silently to each other and tap
          fists like the toughest guys in the world. We see Bob is
          also wearing a "Wild Hogs" jacket. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of
          the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. JACK
          Well, well. One of you came to face the
          music, huh? That's brave. And stupid.
          The Hells Angels laugh. Dudley takes a deep breath and
          walks up to Jack. BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY enter, with their motorcycle
          boots thunking on the wood floor, announcing to the
          entire diner that there are bikers there. BUD (CONT'D)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          A moment later, MURDOCK, a fat, grungy Hells Angel, Hells Angels cheer. Jack high fives them as Doug
          struggles back to his feet and looks back at Woody and
          Bob, cradling his face. desperately for somewhere to hide - but the Hells Angels
          are too close. There's no time. Woody spots a port-o-
          potty from the block party and starts corralling Doug, DOUG
          (knowingly, to group)
          Nope. The Hells Angels have him.
          Doug gives a look to the other guys. They mouth "Shit:" Doug looks at Woody. He's starting to figure it out.
          Woody guiltily avoids Doug's glare and watches the Hells
          Angels through a vent in the port-o-potty. Charley shuts it behind them. They lean back on the
          fence, trying to gather their bearings, except Bob - who
          is thrilled. The Hells Angels have returned, and set up shop in the
          diner, but are also flowing out onto the street. Jack
          stumbles into the middle of the road, with a bottle of
          tequila in his hand. JACK
          Anybody else the leader of this gang?
          Bob takes a deep breath, and bends down an grabs a long
          lead pipe. He starts towards Jack. Upon hearing this, BOB, DUDLEY and DOUG all look at
          WOODY, who shrugs sheepishly. Bob is enraged. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire.
          After a moment, Doug smiles. INT. MAIN STREET DINER - A FEW MINUTES LATER

          DUDLEY kicks open the front door. JACK and the other
          Hells Angels are inside, drinking and carrying on.
JACK (CONT'D)
          So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your
          gang? them again, tell 'em the Wild Hogs will
          be right here in Lucas tonight.
          Woody puts his face into his hands. CHARLEY
          And I believe that's his jacket.
          Jack begrudgingly takes off Dudley's "Wild Hogs" jacket
          and tosses it to him. Dudley proudly puts it on. about it. The camera pans around and we see they are all
          wearing "Wild Hogs" jackets. And on this, we: JACK
          Well, well. The "Wild Hogs." I'm glad
          to see you're finally showing us a little
          respect. JACK
          Come on, now. You shouldn't be
          protecting them. These "Wild Hogs," not
          only passed us when we specifically told JACK
          Give me the crowbar.
          Oilcan nods and hands it to Jack. Jack smiles at the
          four fallen Wild Hogs. (YELLING OUT)
          Alright, Wild Hogs. We know you're in
          town somewhere, 'cause you haven't into the street. The camera rotates around him and comes
          to rest on the back of his jacket, where we see a large
          patch that reads "Wild Hogs." The camera ZOOMS IN ON CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          We're not going to live in fear of your
          gang anymore, Jack. If the Wild Hogs can DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. BOB
          He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs!
          Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain.

                         DOUG being a "Wild Hog" meant something!
          Woody takes off his "Wild Hogs" jacket and throws it at
          their feet. He hops out of the fountain and storms off "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40.

          EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 116.
          Jack just stares at the trashed motorcycle, mortified.

                         DISSOLVE TO: WOODY
          shit.
          (to Hells Angels)
          I meant full-figured.
          The Hells Angels close to within a few feet of the "Wild
          Hogs," and raise their weapons to strike. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 103.
          Jack looks down at Dudley, then to the other bikers.

                         JACK Doug takes his Wild Hogs jacket and pulls it on. BOB
          Wild Hogs ride!
          The guys continue with enthusiastic cheers as we hear the alongside Doug. They nod silently to each other and tap
          fists like the toughest guys in the world. We see Bob is
          also wearing a "Wild Hogs" jacket.
Jack stands next to Dudley, who is duct-taped to a chair
          with so much tape that it looks like he's in a cocoon.
          Only his head is uncovered. Jack holds Dudley's
          cellphone. DUDLEY
          Ow. Ow! Ow, ow. Ow. Ow!...
          After a painful minute, Dudley is untaped. Charley looks
          at Jack's jacket. They push DUDLEY forward. We see he is now completely
          cocooned in duct-tape - like a mummy. There is only a
          small slit for his mouth and eyes. DOUG
          --each other's company...
          Dudley grabs the bag and heads off.

                         DUDLEY
          Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. Woody realizes he's in trouble and starts to run again.
          The bull quickly catches him and rams him into the air.
          Woody lands hard, with a grunt. The guys look at him, surprised and somewhat impressed.
          Woody takes a breath and climbs over the fence. He
          approaches the Bull very quietly and cautiously. He gets Jack signals to one of the Hells Angels. He grabs
          Dudley's tape and spins him around to untape him. JACK
          Don't get tired yet. The hurt is just
          beginning.
          Doug tries to stand back up, but it's getting harder. He
          slyly grabs a handful of sand as he starts to stand. DOUG (CONT'D)
          Ahhhhhhhh!
          It's too late. The Bull catches Doug and bucks him into desperately for somewhere to hide - but the Hells Angels
          are too close. There's no time. Woody spots a port-o-
          potty from the block party and starts corralling Doug, the air. Doug flies ten feet and comes crashing down on
          the muddy grass. The Bull takes a few steps back and
          starts lining up another charge at him. CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          Good. Now I'd like you to untape our
          friend Dudley. Doug nods and goes to kick Jack, but Jack grabs the foot
          and pushes him backwards. Doug falls back to the dirt.
          Jack stands up and dusts himself off. Charley shuts it behind them. They lean back on the
          fence, trying to gather their bearings, except Bob - who
          is thrilled. WOODY
          Doug, wait!
          It's too late. Doug slaps the bull hard, and turns to
          run. Suddenly, the Bull charges into the fence, which Bob's
          butt is sticking through. Bob goes flying and lands face
          down in the dirt. He scrambles back up, furious. Upon hearing this, BOB, DUDLEY and DOUG all look at
          WOODY, who shrugs sheepishly. Bob is enraged. disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch,
          knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment,
          DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and within three feet of it, leans in and slaps the Bull hard
          on the ass.
          The bull makes an annoyed sound and turns around, but Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a
          bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody.
MURDOCK has arrived at the bar, which is just a burned
          shack at this point. The Hell's Angels are gathered JACK (CONT'D)
          shit.
          The flames quickly follow the line of leaked gas like a
          fuse, back towards the bar. EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

          JACK, and the other bikers stand by the smoldering pile
          of wood that was once their bar. OILCAN approaches Jack. (MUMBLES)
          I can have a light.
          Doug continues into the bar, but now with less swagger. flame has reached the parking area and ignited all the
          puddles of gas. They all watch in horror as the fire
          ravenously engulfs the old wooden porch of the bar, then behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the
          marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob
          continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and highschool. I'm sorry your bar got
          burned down, and we'll be glad to help
          you get it rebuilt, but we're done being playing dress up. This bar is, too. And
          we didn't get into this to play dress up -
          we got in this to live. "Be cool and The guys get a good distance away from the bar and Woody
          waves for them to stop. They do and Woody looks back to
          the bar. The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack
          of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the
          fire for a beat. (LAUGHS)
          I can only say that because I'm on his
          right side. Which as you can see, is
          blown off.
          Earl laughs again, as BUCK extends his hand - oblivious. Woody rides up to the bar, and looks back to make sure
          he's out of Doug, Bob and Dudley's sight. He sees that INT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

          Jack is playing darts with the other bikers. He goes to
          throw a dart and hears engines roar past the bar outside. The Hells Angels roar away from the bar on their
          motorcycles. They get to the end of the driveway, and Charley shuts it behind them. They lean back on the
          fence, trying to gather their bearings, except Bob - who
          is thrilled. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire.
          After a moment, Doug smiles. The block party is winding down. Dudley is sitting by
          himself at a picnic table, in post-Maggie bliss. them not to, they drained out all our gas
          and burned down our bar. Like the little
          cowards they are. Now where are they!!? empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does
          nothing.
"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40.

          EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER (YELLING OUT)
          Alright, Wild Hogs. We know you're in
          town somewhere, 'cause you haven't BOB
          Wild Hogs ride!
          The guys continue with enthusiastic cheers as we hear the them again, tell 'em the Wild Hogs will
          be right here in Lucas tonight.
          Woody puts his face into his hands. CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          We're not going to live in fear of your
          gang anymore, Jack. If the Wild Hogs can BOB
          He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs!
          Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain.

                         DOUG "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43.

          EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON JACK (CONT'D)
          So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your
          gang? WOODY
          shit.
          (to Hells Angels)
          I meant full-figured.
          The Hells Angels close to within a few feet of the "Wild
          Hogs," and raise their weapons to strike. about it. The camera pans around and we see they are all
          wearing "Wild Hogs" jackets. And on this, we: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 66.

          EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME into the street. The camera rotates around him and comes
          to rest on the back of his jacket, where we see a large
          patch that reads "Wild Hogs." The camera ZOOMS IN ON DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. being a "Wild Hog" meant something!
          Woody takes off his "Wild Hogs" jacket and throws it at
          their feet. He hops out of the fountain and storms off CHARLEY
          And I believe that's his jacket.
          Jack begrudgingly takes off Dudley's "Wild Hogs" jacket
          and tosses it to him. Dudley proudly puts it on. Ride free." That's the Wild Hog creed. the Hells Angels.
          The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. WILD HOGS



                                   Written by

                                  Brad Copeland JACK
          Come on, now. You shouldn't be
          protecting them. These "Wild Hogs," not
          only passed us when we specifically told "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 4.

          INT. SMALL OFFICE - MORNING
DOUG (CONT'D)

                         (UNSURE)
          Great.

                         CUT TO: DOUG
          Thanks, man.
          Doug smiles and gives Dudley a squeeze on the shoulder.
          Dudley is clearly disappointed, having assumed Doug would DOUG (CONT'D)
          Yes!--
          But Doug is instantly punched in the stomach by Jack's Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR
          enters with a chart.

                         DOCTOR
          Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG (CONT'D)

                         (SMILES)
          I even got beaten up.
          Doug winks cockily. Kelly lights up. DOUG
          It's not a big secret, Bob. She's a
          swimsuit model. She's hot. I mean, so The guests laugh. They think he's joking.

                          

                         ROGER

                          
          Come on, Doug. You should be proud! DOUG (CONT'D)
          That was a pass, dudes!
          It wasn't.
          Doug nods with false confidence to the kids, stands there
          awkwardly for a moment, then quietly heads inside. Doug. Doug sees the fear on the guys faces and looks
          back over his shoulder. His smile quickly turns to
          terror. (TO HIMSELF)
          Free and wild.
          Doug looks around the party. Several middle-aged couples DOUG (CONT'D)
          (yells to Jack)
          Give us back our friend, asshole! DOUG (CONT'D)
          .The adventure.
          Doug looks at Woody and Bob. Woody smiles and pulls on
          his jacket. BOB (CONT'D)
          That's her.
          Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG drives a Volvo station wagon along the streets of
          Cincinnati. BILLY is next to him, in the passenger
          seat, looking bored. Doug notices. Doug exits and looks around the corner of the building,
          making sure the Hells Angels are still sleeping, then
          starts walking towards a wooded park behind the town. DUDLEY
          (loudly, to Doug)
          so he is one of those assholes, Doug. JACK
          So it's like a little hobby for you guys?
          How sweet.
          Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks
          back for the exit. BOB
          Doug! Are you okay?

                         DOUG
          Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress.

                         BOB
          Oh, man. Thank god. DOUG, looking depressed, pulls into the driveway. He
          looks over and sees BILLY and three of his friends
          shooting baskets. He smiles, gets out of the car and
          struts over. DOUG (CONT'D)
           (yelling over music)
           Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't
           1980 anymore, man. Yeah!
DUDLEY (CONT'D) DUDLEY (CONT'D) DUDLEY
          I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat!
          Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he DUDLEY
          Okay, then. Thanks for hearing me out.
          Dudley starts for the door, but several Hells Angels move DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Ow! DUDLEY
          (loudly, to Doug)
          so he is one of those assholes, Doug. DOUG
          Thanks, man.
          Doug smiles and gives Dudley a squeeze on the shoulder.
          Dudley is clearly disappointed, having assumed Doug would DUDLEY
          Nooo. I'm just minding my own business.
          I don't want to cause any trouble.
          Dudley turns to Woody and stares at him. Woody looks
          confused. DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Crap.

                         JACK DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Sorry.

                         CUT TO:

          INT. DOUG MATTHEW'S OFFICE - THAT AFTERNOON DUDLEY
          Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
          Dudley charges Jack, but his limited mobility results not DUDLEY
          Let's ride.
          They start their motorcycles. The engines roar to life.

                         DISSOLVE TO: DUDLEY

                         (TO JACK)
          Yeah, just a little hobby for us.

                         (MORE) DUDLEY
          (muffled from tape)
          Hey, guyth.
          Doug shakes his head.

                         DOUG
          Just hold tight, Dudley. Maggie takes this in. After a moment, she smiles and
          kisses Dudley. DUDLEY
          Hell yeah, brother.
          Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who DUDLEY
          My life blows. I don't have a family.
          Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't CHARLEY
          Uh uh. A deal's a deal, Jack.
          Jack grits his teeth and throws a set of keys at Dudley. DUDLEY
          This is poop. Don't eat it.
          Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. WOODY
          Yup. I tried to be polite. I tried to
          reason. I told them Dudley was dying.

                         DUDLEY
          What?
Charley shuts it behind them. They lean back on the
          fence, trying to gather their bearings, except Bob - who
          is thrilled. BOB, in leather biker gear, rolls out of his garage on
          another shimmering Harley Davidson. He looks around BOB (CONT'D)
          That's her.
          Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. (TO BOB)
          You just did that so Karen wouldn't call.

                         BOB
          Yup.
          Bob starts his bike. BOB
          Wow. Everyone is so nice, here.
          The guys sit in one of the booths. Dudley hangs back,
          and struggles to talk to Maggie.

                         DUDLEY BOB (CONT'D)
          Hah! Missed me, you fat bastard! BOB LEVENSTEIN, 40s, is working at his computer. Bob is
          good enough looking, but with a gawky wimpishness and BOB
          You son of a bitch!
          Bob lunges at Woody, but the sudden shifting of weight is
          too much for the port-o-potty... (TO BOB)
          Just stay down.
          Bob nods. BOB
          Because I want to kick him in the face.
          Doug and Woody laugh again. Bob just steams. They spot
          DUDLEY, and head over to him. SMASH CUT TO:

          EXT. BOB'S DRIVEWAY - A MINUTE LATER BOB
          Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead.
          You know how rare this thing is?
          The guys all crowd around the bike. BOB (CONT'D)

                         (TO CHARLEY)
          Give me your gun! Give me the gun! He
          deserves it! The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes.
          Bob immediately falls to the ground. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good
          wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB (CONT'D)
          Listen to me. This is My vacation and if
          I want to ride on with my friends, well BOB
          That's it. He's never had a girlfriend
          so he's probably getting carried away.
          He once drank eighteen Mocha Latte's
          because the Starbucks clerk was smiling
          at him. BOB
          Doug! Are you okay?

                         DOUG
          Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress.

                         BOB
          Oh, man. Thank god. There's a moment of silence as Karen absorbs this. The
          guys all look at Bob proudly. After a few seconds,
          Karen's face softens. BOB (CONT'D)
          Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold:
          He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him.
DOUG
          Well, Woody is the one who really-- Woody lowers his head. The guys take this in for a
          minute. Woody looks at them, waiting for their sympathy.
          Finally, Doug speaks. Woody takes this in, gritting his teeth in disappointment. look at Woody. Woody rolls his eyes... Woody rides up to the bar, and looks back to make sure
          he's out of Doug, Bob and Dudley's sight. He sees that WOODY
          Man, did you see the look on Bob's face
          when he got up? Didn't dodge him that
          time!
          Woody and Doug laugh. Bob looks pissed. Dudley nods. Woody grits his teeth as they enter the
          town. It's a quiet, one stop-light town - with an old Woody realizes he's in trouble and starts to run again.
          The bull quickly catches him and rams him into the air.
          Woody lands hard, with a grunt. that's what happens when you screw with
          Woody Stevens. You go down. Hard.
          As Woody talks, he passes by framed magazine covers of a WOODY
          And the friends.
          Woody steps over to Doug. Bob looks at them for a
          moment, then finally smiles and pulls on his jacket. We see the pristine living room of an expensive,
          architectural house.

          MALE VOICE (O.C.)
          Woody. Woody eyes water a little and he quickly turns away from
          Doug. They sit there for another moment. except for you, Woody. You're still
          living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model
          wife. Big job at an investment firm.
          You've got the good life. The guys get a good distance away from the bar and Woody
          waves for them to stop. They do and Woody looks back to
          the bar. WOODY (CONT'D)
          Whhhheeeeeeew!
          Woody gets to the fence and hurls himself over. The guys
          all applaud. WOODY
          Hey.

                         DOUG
          Hey. Going fishing? (GETTING ANGRY)
          Woody Stevens!
          We see WOODY STEVENS, 40s, handsome, but with shifty eyes Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the
          fire for a beat. Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a
          bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. The guys ignore him. Woody looks back down the highway
          uneasily, then heads inside the motel office.
Woody rides up to the bar, and looks back to make sure
          he's out of Doug, Bob and Dudley's sight. He sees that go. Quick. Before they change their
          mind.
          Woody quickly starts his bike and rides on. The guys
          shrug, impressed, and follow him. Woody nods back, revs his engine, and joins alongside
          them. WOODY

                         (TO HIMSELF)
          Come after us now, assholes.
          Woody goes along to each bike, smiling with a weird
          recklessness as he slices through each gas line. The guys get a good distance away from the bar and Woody
          waves for them to stop. They do and Woody looks back to
          the bar. WOODY (CONT'D)
          Whhhheeeeeeew!
          Woody gets to the fence and hurls himself over. The guys
          all applaud. The guys look at him, surprised and somewhat impressed.
          Woody takes a breath and climbs over the fence. He
          approaches the Bull very quietly and cautiously. He gets WOODY (CONT'D)
          Go! Go! Go!
          Woody pushes his puzzled friends into the port-o-potty, The bull turns back to charge at Woody again, and Bob
          jumps over the fence. WOODY
          Exactly. Which is why we need to keep
          riding until we figure out where that
          happiness is. You don't get old Doug
          back by just staying put. WOODY
          And the friends.
          Woody steps over to Doug. Bob looks at them for a
          moment, then finally smiles and pulls on his jacket. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER

          WOODY pulls up on his bike, where DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY
          are waiting. Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a
          bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. WOODY
          Bob, let's not get carried away--

                         BOB
          No, you know what? This guy needs a
          talking to just like his friends did,
          Woody. Woody lowers his head. The guys take this in for a
          minute. Woody looks at them, waiting for their sympathy.
          Finally, Doug speaks. The guys ignore him. Woody looks back down the highway
          uneasily, then heads inside the motel office. WOODY (CONT'D)
          Run, Doug! Go!
          Doug climbs to his feet and sees the bull charging Woody. Woody realizes he's in trouble and starts to run again.
          The bull quickly catches him and rams him into the air.
          Woody lands hard, with a grunt. A MINUTE LATER, Woody pulls onto the street on his
          Harley. DOUG and BOB turn the corner and nod to him. WOODY
          Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling?

          EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS
Woody takes this in, gritting his teeth in disappointment. WOODY (CONT'D)
          I've lost everything. The firm fired me,
          Claudia left me... It's all gone. My that's what happens when you screw with
          Woody Stevens. You go down. Hard.
          As Woody talks, he passes by framed magazine covers of a Woody lowers his head. The guys take this in for a
          minute. Woody looks at them, waiting for their sympathy.
          Finally, Doug speaks. Woody realizes he's in trouble and starts to run again.
          The bull quickly catches him and rams him into the air.
          Woody lands hard, with a grunt. Upon hearing this, BOB, DUDLEY and DOUG all look at
          WOODY, who shrugs sheepishly. Bob is enraged. WOODY
          Because I don't have anything to go back
          to, okay!
          Doug and Bob go silent. Woody looks away - trying to
          collect himself. After a moment, he faces them. BOB
          You son of a bitch!
          Bob lunges at Woody, but the sudden shifting of weight is
          too much for the port-o-potty... WOODY (CONT'D)
          Go! Go! Go!
          Woody pushes his puzzled friends into the port-o-potty, DOUG
          (realizing, to Woody)
          This trip is just you running from your
          life. Your miserable, screwed up life. WOODY (CONT'D)
          I didn't want to lose, Doug. I've lost
          everything else and I didn't want to lose JACK
          Yup. Your piece of junk.
          Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good.
          Doug tries to laugh it off. WOODY
          Anyway, none of that worked. So I laid
          it out for them. I said, "Hey, go ahead Woody rides up to the bar, and looks back to make sure
          he's out of Doug, Bob and Dudley's sight. He sees that BOB (CONT'D)
          What?

                         WOODY
          Why are you naked? WOODY
          We are slapping the bull.
          Doug knows it's no use. He nods, defeated.

                         CUT TO: DOUG
          Well, Woody is the one who really-- WOODY
          You did lose him, Doug. You know why?
          You're housebroken. You're too WOODY

                         (TO HIMSELF)
          Come after us now, assholes.
          Woody goes along to each bike, smiling with a weird
          recklessness as he slices through each gas line. WOODY
          No. No way. This is my fault. All this
          is my fault. I have some money in my
          severance package. We're using it.
Maggie smiles. She has a radiant sweetness, even though
          she's scared to death.
          DUDLEY stares at her, captivated. He's in love. Maggie takes this in. After a moment, she smiles and
          kisses Dudley. DUDLEY
          This has been the best vacation of my
          life. I met you.
          Maggie blushes. DUDLEY (CONT'D) DUDLEY (CONT'D) (TO MAGGIE)
          Um... So?
          Dudley tries to think of something else to say, but
          can't. He nods awkwardly, then heads over to the booth.
          He sits down with the guys. Maggie watches curiously as Dudley pulls himself along
          the ground by his elbows - then springs up to his feet
          and starts a move that resembles a sprinkler. Maggie DUDLEY
          Ow. Ow! Ow, ow. Ow. Ow!...
          After a painful minute, Dudley is untaped. Charley looks
          at Jack's jacket. in a tackle, but in him leaning on Jack. After a moment,
          Jack takes a step back and Dudley falls to the ground. DUDLEY
          Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
          Dudley charges Jack, but his limited mobility results not DOUG
          You have a sister?

                         DUDLEY
          I have a soulmate. DOUG
          Hey, Dud. You look happy.

                         DUDLEY
          I danced with her. And she likes macs.
          You know what that means? DUDLEY
          This is poop. Don't eat it.
          Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DUDLEY
          I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat!
          Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he and lands on it's side - with Dudley in it. Dudley looks
          out at the floor, helpless. MAGGIE
          Hi.
          Dudley is wide-eyed.

                         DUDLEY
          Um... I, uh--- DOUG
          Thanks, man.
          Doug smiles and gives Dudley a squeeze on the shoulder.
          Dudley is clearly disappointed, having assumed Doug would DUDLEY
          Oh, man. I thought it was going to
          happen slowly. I thought I had time!
          Dudley sits on the fountain edge and starts to tear up. DUDLEY (CONT'D)

                         (TO GUYS)
          She's perfect.

                         DOUG
          You like the waitress, huh? DUDLEY
          Nooo. I'm just minding my own business.
          I don't want to cause any trouble.
          Dudley turns to Woody and stares at him. Woody looks
          confused.
Jack stands next to Dudley, who is duct-taped to a chair
          with so much tape that it looks like he's in a cocoon.
          Only his head is uncovered. Jack holds Dudley's
          cellphone. Jack signals to one of the Hells Angels. He grabs
          Dudley's tape and spins him around to untape him. DUDLEY
          Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
          Dudley charges Jack, but his limited mobility results not in a tackle, but in him leaning on Jack. After a moment,
          Jack takes a step back and Dudley falls to the ground. DUDLEY
          Hell yeah, brother.
          Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who JACK (CONT'D)
          Shut up!!
          The gang stops laughing, off Jack's warning glare.
          Dudley looks up from the floor. DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Crap.

                         JACK DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Ow.
          Jack cracks his knuckles and looks to OILCAN. Jack walks over to the computer and looks at Dudley for a
          moment. He then picks the computer up and smashes it
          down on the ground. It breaks into a hundred pieces. DUDLEY
          Ow. Ow! Ow, ow. Ow. Ow!...
          After a painful minute, Dudley is untaped. Charley looks
          at Jack's jacket. DUDLEY
          No, I actually feel pretty--
          Jack kicks Dudley's chair with his foot. It tips over They push DUDLEY forward. We see he is now completely
          cocooned in duct-tape - like a mummy. There is only a
          small slit for his mouth and eyes. JACK
          Well, well. One of you came to face the
          music, huh? That's brave. And stupid.
          The Hells Angels laugh. Dudley takes a deep breath and
          walks up to Jack. Jack smiles at Dudley and puts his foot through what's
          left of it. The Hells Angels stifle laughter. Dudley is
          starting to look a little nervous. CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          Good. Now I'd like you to untape our
          friend Dudley. JACK
          Well, I guess that's all of you--
          DUDLEY, still covered in tape, comes running into the
          circle from the other side. CHARLEY
          Uh uh. A deal's a deal, Jack.
          Jack grits his teeth and throws a set of keys at Dudley. JACK
          Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look
          on it.
          Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and
          Woody share an uncertain look. DUDLEY
          I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat!
          Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he JACK

                         (TO DUDLEY)
          No deal.
          Dudley nods.
DOUG
          Are you kidding me? Woody, you're going
          to have to talk to these guys again. Get
          them to leave this town alone-- out here and tell Haley she's not going
          anywhere!
          Bob nods obediently and hurries out of the room. DUDLEY
          Okay, then. Thanks for hearing me out.
          Dudley starts for the door, but several Hells Angels move DOUG

                         (TO BUCK)
          Um... They left.

                         BUCK
          Huh?
          Buck turns and sees Earl and Charley have gone. bullied by you. Now give us back Dudley,
          and get out of this town.
          The Hells Angels start to laugh. Jack turns back to them DOUG
          We should go.

                         BOB
          You think? They're gone, now.

                         WOODY
          Yeah, we could stay another few-- (DEFEATED)
          I know.
          The Hells Angels move back in on him. Dudley closes his
          eyes and rolls into a ball. Doug exits and looks around the corner of the building,
          making sure the Hells Angels are still sleeping, then
          starts walking towards a wooded park behind the town. silence. Slowly, the townspeople turn and quietly head
          back to their homes. Doug, Bob and Dudley lower their
          heads in disgrace. So much for being heroes. (FROM CROWD)
          That's right. You mess up our town,
          we'll do the same to you! DOUG
          Bob, we can't leave. They'll just stay
          here and keep terrorizing this town.

                         BOB
          So what? They can call the National
          guard or something. DUDLEY
          You leave the town of Lucas, and my
          friends alone, and I do something for
          you. Something you can't live without. Earl storms off, leaving BUCK, who was standing on his
          left and hasn't heard or seen any of them leave. He
          stands there, looking at Doug and Dudley. storms out the door. Woody winces to himself as he
          watches Murdock go. This isn't good.
          After a moment, BUD comes running out from behind the Doug, Bob and Dudley look at each other. After a moment,
          they look over to the sidewalk and see:
          ALL THE TOWNSPEOPLE, staring at them in disappointed The Hells Angels roar away from the bar on their
          motorcycles. They get to the end of the driveway, and DOUG
          Well, you're going to have to, Bob!
          We're not going to screw over an entire
          town because you're afraid of women!
          Bob stands up, insulted. The Hells Angels park their bikes. We see all the
          townspeople have stopped enjoying themselves, and just
          stand there, scared. Jack gets off his bike and looks
          around.

                         JACK (TO TOWN)
          And if they ain't there. We'll be back
          reeeal soon. Because I don't let any man
          get away from me.
          The gang snickers. Jack realizes; Jack starts his bike and roars out of the town. The
          others follow him, gunning their bikes and leaving skid
          marks and smoke in their trail. A kid yells at the Hells
JACK (CONT'D) DUDLEY
          Hell yeah, brother.
          Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who JACK
          All right. Now you're going to die.
          Jack approaches Doug, who closes his eyes and waits for
          the end. JACK (CONT'D)
          What!? There was nothing wrong with that
          one! That was tough! Those guys are
          afraid of me, now. They know how much I
          want 'em!
          The gang laughs again. DUDLEY
          Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
          Dudley charges Jack, but his limited mobility results not JACK
          Well, well. One of you came to face the
          music, huh? That's brave. And stupid.
          The Hells Angels laugh. Dudley takes a deep breath and
          walks up to Jack. Jack smiles at Dudley and puts his foot through what's
          left of it. The Hells Angels stifle laughter. Dudley is
          starting to look a little nervous. JACK
          Anybody else the leader of this gang?
          Bob takes a deep breath, and bends down an grabs a long
          lead pipe. He starts towards Jack. Jack stands next to Dudley, who is duct-taped to a chair
          with so much tape that it looks like he's in a cocoon.
          Only his head is uncovered. Jack holds Dudley's
          cellphone. JACK (CONT'D)
          Guess you guys are wishing you'd
          listened, now, huh?
          Jack smiles as we hear: DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Crap.

                         JACK JACK (CONT'D)
          Shut up!!
          The gang stops laughing, off Jack's warning glare.
          Dudley looks up from the floor. DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Ow.
          Jack cracks his knuckles and looks to OILCAN. in a tackle, but in him leaning on Jack. After a moment,
          Jack takes a step back and Dudley falls to the ground. Doug gives Woody a concerned look. Woody shrugs. Jack
          steps into the circle and throws off his jacket. JACK (CONT'D)
          All right, then. Nobody wants to tell me
          where they are? Fine. Maybe this'll jar
          your memory. DOUG (CONT'D)
          Yes!--
          But Doug is instantly punched in the stomach by Jack's CHARLEY
          And I believe that's his jacket.
          Jack begrudgingly takes off Dudley's "Wild Hogs" jacket
          and tosses it to him. Dudley proudly puts it on. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK
          Good.
          (to Hells Angels)
          Saddle up, boys.
          The guys get on their bikes.

                         JACK (CONT'D)
MAGGIE (CONT'D)
          Well, I better get back inside. I've got
          to set some chairs up in the family room
          for the lunch rush. People gotta eat. MAGGIE
          Well, we can't seat many people in there,
          but at least we're back in business.

                         DUDLEY
          Sorry those jerks are in your diner. CHARLEY
          Well, Maggie's a great woman. Maggie takes this in. After a moment, she smiles and
          kisses Dudley. MAGGIE
          Of course. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
          Maggie quickly puts it back on the man's table.

                         DOUG
          Hey, it's okay. Really. MAGGIE
          You want to dance?
          Dudley goes to respond, then decides to just give an
          emphatic nod. Maggie smiles. MAGGIE
          No, I meant... They damage the diner a
          lot. They damage the whole town. I'm Maggie smiles. She has a radiant sweetness, even though
          she's scared to death.
          DUDLEY stares at her, captivated. He's in love. MAGGIE (CONT'D)
          where would you gentleman like to sit?

                         DOUG
          Are there any booths open?
          All the people quickly jump out of their booths. BOB
          Wow. Everyone is so nice, here.
          The guys sit in one of the booths. Dudley hangs back,
          and struggles to talk to Maggie.

                         DUDLEY MAGGIE
          Wow. You like macs too, huh? I've got a
          vintage Apple 2e. Restored it from
          scratch.
          Dudley's jaw drops. Maggie watches curiously as Dudley pulls himself along
          the ground by his elbows - then springs up to his feet
          and starts a move that resembles a sprinkler. Maggie MAGGIE
          Hi.
          Dudley is wide-eyed.

                         DUDLEY
          Um... I, uh--- MAGGIE
          Wait, he did this because of me. I have
          a thousand dollars in tip money I want to
          put in. but Maggie starts to cry. The guys suddenly look
          confused as she runs to the kitchen in tears. Bob looks
          back to the guys. MAGGIE
          You bikers probably tell all the girls
          that.
          This hits Dudley. He suddenly looks troubled. DUDLEY
          Crap.

                         DISSOLVE TO:

          INT. BUD AND MAGGIE'S HOUSE - A FEW MINUTES LATER DUDLEY
          I wanted to say something funny to her,
          but I could only think of black jokes.
          Maggie, still very skittish, approaches the table. EXT. BUD AND MAGGIE'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - CONTINUOUS

          Maggie sits on the porch swing and takes a breath. MAGGIE
          I'll take care of them, Daddy.
          (to guys, extra polite)
          Good morning.
"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40.

          EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER (YELLING OUT)
          Alright, Wild Hogs. We know you're in
          town somewhere, 'cause you haven't "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43.

          EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 66.

          EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME into the street. The camera rotates around him and comes
          to rest on the back of his jacket, where we see a large
          patch that reads "Wild Hogs." The camera ZOOMS IN ON them again, tell 'em the Wild Hogs will
          be right here in Lucas tonight.
          Woody puts his face into his hands. BOB
          Wild Hogs ride!
          The guys continue with enthusiastic cheers as we hear the CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          We're not going to live in fear of your
          gang anymore, Jack. If the Wild Hogs can being a "Wild Hog" meant something!
          Woody takes off his "Wild Hogs" jacket and throws it at
          their feet. He hops out of the fountain and storms off WOODY
          shit.
          (to Hells Angels)
          I meant full-figured.
          The Hells Angels close to within a few feet of the "Wild
          Hogs," and raise their weapons to strike. about it. The camera pans around and we see they are all
          wearing "Wild Hogs" jackets. And on this, we: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 101.

          INT. BUD AND MAGGIE'S HOUSE - SIMULTANEOUS DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 72.
          ANGLE ON: The Wild Hog's table. The guys sit with BOB
          He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs!
          Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain.

                         DOUG JACK (CONT'D)
          So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your
          gang? Ride free." That's the Wild Hog creed. around the park in the center - ready for the block
          party. As the news spreads that the Wild Hogs are
          friendly, the townspeople start to take to the streets
          again. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 60.
          ANGLE ON: The WILD HOGS, watching from the table behind
          Murdock. Dudley cockily pulls on a "Wild Hogs" jacket, kick starts
          the motorcycle, presses a button to open the garage door,
          and rides the motorcycle out. However, as he gets
Maggie smiles. She has a radiant sweetness, even though
          she's scared to death.
          DUDLEY stares at her, captivated. He's in love. It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery,
          getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from DUDLEY
          This has been the best vacation of my
          life. I met you.
          Maggie blushes. BOB
          I will. And... I love you.
          Bob smiles at her and gets on his bike.
          ANGLE ON: DOUG and KELLY. Kelly looks at Doug. DUDLEY
          I'll wait here, too. You'll get better
          gas mileage.
          Dudley gets out and falls to the ground. Maggie takes this in. After a moment, she smiles and
          kisses Dudley. WOODY
          Okay, fine. But after fishing - we hit
          the open road and keep moving, okay?

                         DOUG
          Open road, baby! (BEAT)
          Looks pretty comfortable, actually.
          We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his
          thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. CHARLEY
          So, why are you guys taking this road
          trip, anyway?

                         DOUG
          Ahh, just to escape for a bit. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON

          The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the
          sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. touching him all night long. And I'll be
          enjoying it.
          The other bikers suddenly stifle laughter. Doug and Woody wince.
          ANGLE ON: DUDLEY, at the beer tent. He gets in line,
          and realizes he's behind MAGGIE. She smiles at him. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
          You guys all right?

                         DOUG
          Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes
          against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck
          screech to a stop after it passes them. WOODY
          What? No. No plan. It's the open road.
          Who knows where we'll be. END MUSIC CUE

          EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING they're finally who they were in college again.
          Fearless. They approach the diner and stand out on the
          street, like gunslingers in the Old West, calling their (QUICKLY)
          Okay, let's ride!
          The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up
          the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming
          profanities as they guiltily ride away. The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking
          even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring
          into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys
          nod in agreement. Charley shuts it behind them. They lean back on the
          fence, trying to gather their bearings, except Bob - who
          is thrilled.
(YELLING OUT)
          Alright, Wild Hogs. We know you're in
          town somewhere, 'cause you haven't them again, tell 'em the Wild Hogs will
          be right here in Lucas tonight.
          Woody puts his face into his hands. into the street. The camera rotates around him and comes
          to rest on the back of his jacket, where we see a large
          patch that reads "Wild Hogs." The camera ZOOMS IN ON BOB
          He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs!
          Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain.

                         DOUG being a "Wild Hog" meant something!
          Woody takes off his "Wild Hogs" jacket and throws it at
          their feet. He hops out of the fountain and storms off Jack starts his bike and roars out of the town. The
          others follow him, gunning their bikes and leaving skid
          marks and smoke in their trail. A kid yells at the Hells CHARLEY
          You guys aren't Hells Angels?

                         DOUG
          No. We're Wild Hogs. That's our gang. around the park in the center - ready for the block
          party. As the news spreads that the Wild Hogs are
          friendly, the townspeople start to take to the streets
          again. DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. JACK (CONT'D)
          So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your
          gang? WOODY
          shit.
          (to Hells Angels)
          I meant full-figured.
          The Hells Angels close to within a few feet of the "Wild
          Hogs," and raise their weapons to strike. CHARLEY (CONT'D)
          We're not going to live in fear of your
          gang anymore, Jack. If the Wild Hogs can the Hells Angels.
          The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40.

          EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER about it. The camera pans around and we see they are all
          wearing "Wild Hogs" jackets. And on this, we: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43.

          EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON JACK
          Come on, now. You shouldn't be
          protecting them. These "Wild Hogs," not
          only passed us when we specifically told "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 66.

          EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME JACK
          Well, well. The "Wild Hogs." I'm glad
          to see you're finally showing us a little
          respect. JACK
          Give me the crowbar.
          Oilcan nods and hands it to Jack. Jack smiles at the
          four fallen Wild Hogs.
The guys get a good distance away from the bar and Woody
          waves for them to stop. They do and Woody looks back to
          the bar. WOODY
          We can still outrun them. They're fat.
          Woody turns around to see Hells Angles have now closed in
          behind them, blocking their escape. Jack smiles. The bull turns back to charge at Woody again, and Bob
          jumps over the fence. WOODY (CONT'D)
          Run, Doug! Go!
          Doug climbs to his feet and sees the bull charging Woody. WOODY

                         (TO HIMSELF)
          Come after us now, assholes.
          Woody goes along to each bike, smiling with a weird
          recklessness as he slices through each gas line. desperately for somewhere to hide - but the Hells Angels
          are too close. There's no time. Woody spots a port-o-
          potty from the block party and starts corralling Doug, WOODY (CONT'D)
          Whhhheeeeeeew!
          Woody gets to the fence and hurls himself over. The guys
          all applaud. WOODY
          Yup. I tried to be polite. I tried to
          reason. I told them Dudley was dying.

                         DUDLEY
          What? The guys look at him, surprised and somewhat impressed.
          Woody takes a breath and climbs over the fence. He
          approaches the Bull very quietly and cautiously. He gets Woody rides up to the bar, and looks back to make sure
          he's out of Doug, Bob and Dudley's sight. He sees that Woody realizes he's in trouble and starts to run again.
          The bull quickly catches him and rams him into the air.
          Woody lands hard, with a grunt. DOUG
          He's waiting for you to say something
          else, then he's going to kick you.
          Dudley gets a deflated look and backs off of Woody.

                         DUDLEY WOODY
          Man, did you see the look on Bob's face
          when he got up? Didn't dodge him that
          time!
          Woody and Doug laugh. Bob looks pissed. WOODY (CONT'D)
          Go! Go! Go!
          Woody pushes his puzzled friends into the port-o-potty, The guys ignore him. Woody looks back down the highway
          uneasily, then heads inside the motel office. WOODY
          Doug, wait!
          It's too late. Doug slaps the bull hard, and turns to
          run. DOUG
          Hah! How's that feel?
          Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles.

                         WOODY
          It felt good. It felt damn good. Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it
          in the storm drain. PAUL (CONT'D)

                         (LAUGHING)
          See you guys.
          Paul exits. Woody shakes his head. Upon hearing this, BOB, DUDLEY and DOUG all look at
          WOODY, who shrugs sheepishly. Bob is enraged.
JACK (CONT'D)
          shit.
          The flames quickly follow the line of leaked gas like a
          fuse, back towards the bar. flame has reached the parking area and ignited all the
          puddles of gas. They all watch in horror as the fire
          ravenously engulfs the old wooden porch of the bar, then Suddenly, the cigarette falls out of Jacks mouth, and
          onto the ground. A puddle of gas from the sliced line
          catches on fire. MURDOCK has arrived at the bar, which is just a burned
          shack at this point. The Hell's Angels are gathered The Hells Angels roar away from the bar on their
          motorcycles. They get to the end of the driveway, and one of the Dooble brothers tried to throw
          tear gas, but the bottle exploded and
          blew off his ear. The Hells Angels have returned, and set up shop in the
          diner, but are also flowing out onto the street. Jack
          stumbles into the middle of the road, with a bottle of
          tequila in his hand. DOUG
          Live!? We're going to die, Woody! You
          burned down their bar! We are dead men! fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into
          flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D)
          Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley!
          Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

          JACK, and the other bikers stand by the smoldering pile
          of wood that was once their bar. OILCAN approaches Jack. DOUG (CONT'D)
          It should be okay. It's fire retardant.
          The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes desperately for somewhere to hide - but the Hells Angels
          are too close. There's no time. Woody spots a port-o-
          potty from the block party and starts corralling Doug, Jack takes a garbage can and tosses it into the diner
          window. The crowd gasps, as the Hells Angels laugh.
          CHARLEY steps out of the crowd. The guys get a good distance away from the bar and Woody
          waves for them to stop. They do and Woody looks back to
          the bar. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their
          sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. (MUMBLES)
          I can have a light.
          Doug continues into the bar, but now with less swagger. INT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME

          Jack is playing darts with the other bikers. He goes to
          throw a dart and hears engines roar past the bar outside. The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw
          before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the
          marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob
          continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and
Bob swats Murdock's beer out of his hand. It spills all
          over him. Murdock is too filled with rage to speak. BOB
          Because I want to kick him in the face.
          Doug and Woody laugh again. Bob just steams. They spot
          DUDLEY, and head over to him. BOB (CONT'D)
          Now get.
          Murdock just stares daggers at him. BOB (CONT'D)
          Get!
          Bob kicks the stool out from under Murdock. He almost Doug nods and goes to kick Jack, but Jack grabs the foot
          and pushes him backwards. Doug falls back to the dirt.
          Jack stands up and dusts himself off. MURDOCK
          Excuse me?
          Murdock puts his beer down, and stares angrily at Doug. BOB
          It got in my hair! Gross!
          The guys desperately try to rinse off the juice - then,
          drenched from head to toe, turn their glare to Woody. MURDOCK

                         (TO BUD)
          Get me a beer, old man. And if it's not
          good, I'm going to smash it across your
          face. The Hells Angles nod and pick up various weapons:
          Crowbars, tire irons, bats... They start moving towards
          Doug, Woody and Bob. Bob looks to Doug. DUDLEY
          Hell yeah, brother.
          Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who BOB
          You son of a bitch!
          Bob lunges at Woody, but the sudden shifting of weight is
          too much for the port-o-potty... MURDOCK
          What'd you say?

                         DOUG
          Oh, I was actually referring to some guys
          we met at a bar about two hundred miles
          east of here. You're probably not alongside Doug. They nod silently to each other and tap
          fists like the toughest guys in the world. We see Bob is
          also wearing a "Wild Hogs" jacket. WOODY
          Man, did you see the look on Bob's face
          when he got up? Didn't dodge him that
          time!
          Woody and Doug laugh. Bob looks pissed. Upon hearing this, BOB, DUDLEY and DOUG all look at
          WOODY, who shrugs sheepishly. Bob is enraged. DOUG
          (sotto, to the guys)
          Not another one of these assholes.
          Murdock hears this and whips around to see the Wild Hogs. bounces harmlessly off the lenses. Doug cringes and
          waits for the punch, which comes like a freight train
          into his stomach. Doug doubles over again as Jack lines DOUG (CONT'D)
          Damn.
          Jack punches Doug square in the face again. Doug
          crumples to the ground in pain. Jack turns back to the
          Hells Angels. storms out the door. Woody winces to himself as he
          watches Murdock go. This isn't good.
          After a moment, BUD comes running out from behind the I always do... Well, not this time!
          (turns to Murdock)
          Listen, you piece of shit. You think you
          can just walk around and bully perfectly
JACK (CONT'D)
          Guess you guys are wishing you'd
          listened, now, huh?
          Jack smiles as we hear: Charley shuts it behind them. They lean back on the
          fence, trying to gather their bearings, except Bob - who
          is thrilled. (LAUGHS)
          I can only say that because I'm on his
          right side. Which as you can see, is
          blown off.
          Earl laughs again, as BUCK extends his hand - oblivious. DOUG
          Hah! How's that feel?
          Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles.

                         WOODY
          It felt good. It felt damn good. Upon hearing this, BOB, DUDLEY and DOUG all look at
          WOODY, who shrugs sheepishly. Bob is enraged. he is, and kneels next to the line of Hells Angels
          motorcycles. He takes out an army knife, and slices
          through one of the motorcycle's gas line. Gas starts DUDLEY
          Okay, then. Thanks for hearing me out.
          Dudley starts for the door, but several Hells Angels move believe this?" look to the other guys - who are just as
          thrilled as him. They're eating it up. EARL
          Yup. Even torn-open head, here.
          He nods at Buck, on his left. Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station.
          "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along
          with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. (QUICKLY)
          Okay, let's ride!
          The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up
          the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming
          profanities as they guiltily ride away. thing I have left. There's nothing more
          in my life but you guys. So, I lied
          about the Hells Angels. I lied because I DOUG
          (knowingly, to group)
          Nope. The Hells Angels have him.
          Doug gives a look to the other guys. They mouth "Shit:" like me. She wouldn't even stick around
          if she knew how to use a can opener.
          The guys all look at Dudley. Woody lowers his head. The guys take this in for a
          minute. Woody looks at them, waiting for their sympathy.
          Finally, Doug speaks. There's a moment of silence as Karen absorbs this. The
          guys all look at Bob proudly. After a few seconds,
          Karen's face softens. they're finally who they were in college again.
          Fearless. They approach the diner and stand out on the
          street, like gunslingers in the Old West, calling their The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire.
          After a moment, Doug smiles. this town is. And once they know we're
          afraid, they can do whatever they want.
          That's how these guys exist. That's how DOUG (CONT'D)
          Yes, sir. They called it the dragon
          wagon. You're lucky to be in here
DUDLEY
          Hell yeah, brother.
          Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who JACK (CONT'D) DOUG (CONT'D)
          Damn.
          Jack punches Doug square in the face again. Doug
          crumples to the ground in pain. Jack turns back to the
          Hells Angels. Jack smiles at Dudley and puts his foot through what's
          left of it. The Hells Angels stifle laughter. Dudley is
          starting to look a little nervous. Jack stands next to Dudley, who is duct-taped to a chair
          with so much tape that it looks like he's in a cocoon.
          Only his head is uncovered. Jack holds Dudley's
          cellphone. DUDLEY
          Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
          Dudley charges Jack, but his limited mobility results not JACK (CONT'D)
          Shut up!!
          The gang stops laughing, off Jack's warning glare.
          Dudley looks up from the floor. JACK
          All right. Now you're going to die.
          Jack approaches Doug, who closes his eyes and waits for
          the end. Jack walks over to the computer and looks at Dudley for a
          moment. He then picks the computer up and smashes it
          down on the ground. It breaks into a hundred pieces. DOUG (CONT'D)
          Yes!--
          But Doug is instantly punched in the stomach by Jack's JACK (CONT'D)
          Shut up!! I didn't mean-- Just get on
          your damn bikes! We're riding to Lucas! JACK (CONT'D)
          All right, then. Nobody wants to tell me
          where they are? Fine. Maybe this'll jar
          your memory. JACK (CONT'D)
          What!? There was nothing wrong with that
          one! That was tough! Those guys are
          afraid of me, now. They know how much I
          want 'em!
          The gang laughs again. JACK (CONT'D)
          shit.
          The flames quickly follow the line of leaked gas like a
          fuse, back towards the bar. JACK

                         (TO DOUG)
          Hope you're happy. You suburban posers
          are a disease. You need to learn some
          damn respect for real bikers.
          Doug smiles. Jack signals to one of the Hells Angels. He grabs
          Dudley's tape and spins him around to untape him. JACK
          Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look
          on it.
          Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and
          Woody share an uncertain look. DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Crap.

                         JACK (TO JACK)
          All right. Let's do this--
          Doug doesn't even finish his sentence as Jack lands a JACK

                         (TO DUDLEY)
          No deal.
          Dudley nods.
rusty sidecar is now attached to Woody's bike. DUDLEY
          sits in it looking miserable and cold (having lost his
          jacket and now in his sleeveless shirt). Woody starts up his bike. Doug and Bob look at each
          other and shrug. Dudley hurries out of the sidecar. DUDLEY
          Nooo. I'm just minding my own business.
          I don't want to cause any trouble.
          Dudley turns to Woody and stares at him. Woody looks
          confused. DUDLEY (CONT'D)
          Leg's asleep.
          Woody shakes his head and starts back to the bar.

          EXT. BIKER BAR - SAME TIME motorcycle. Next to him, is MAGGIE, sitting in the rusty
          sidecar now attached to Dudley's bike. She's wearing WOODY
          Yup. And I think they'll give us
          Dudley's bike on the way back, so let's as they park the bikes among a crowd of other bikers.
          Dudley climbs off the back of Woody's bike and pats him
          on the shoulder. DOUG, BOB and WOODY ride along. We see DUDLEY is riding
          bitch on Woody's bike, and Woody doesn't seem thrilled WOODY
          Yup. I tried to be polite. I tried to
          reason. I told them Dudley was dying.

                         DUDLEY
          What? DUDLEY
          Let's ride.
          They start their motorcycles. The engines roar to life.

                         DISSOLVE TO: WOODY
          I think so. Dudley? What do you think?
          The camera PULLS OUT to reveal DUDLEY, sitting on his DOUG, BOB and WOODY ride towards Dudley's house, but find
          DUDLEY sitting in his driveway with his arms around his DUDLEY
          No, my sidecar's just attached to your
          bike. I'd prefer to turn back, but I
          could only roll so far... and lands on it's side - with Dudley in it. Dudley looks
          out at the floor, helpless. Dudley cockily pulls on a "Wild Hogs" jacket, kick starts
          the motorcycle, presses a button to open the garage door,
          and rides the motorcycle out. However, as he gets Woody rides up to the bar, and looks back to make sure
          he's out of Doug, Bob and Dudley's sight. He sees that DUDLEY
          Yeah, well... He once bit me on the
          sack.
          Dudley walks off towards the beer tent. Woody looks to
          the other guys with a puzzled look. DUDLEY
          I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat!
          Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he WOODY

                         (TO DUDLEY)
          What? What's wrong with you?

                         DUDLEY
          I got a tat. Dudley nods. Woody grits his teeth as they enter the
          town. It's a quiet, one stop-light town - with an old
What state do the Wild Hog's come from? What does Jack call the Wild Hogs upon their first encounter? Which character cuts the fuel lines on the Del Fuego's bikes? What is the name of the biker gang giving the main characters a problem? Who is the founder of the Del Fuegos? Who informs Jack that the Wild Hogs are in New Mexico? Which character gets tied to a tree? Why did Blade not care about the bar being burned down? In which state does the adventure of the Wild Hogs conclude? What is Doug's occupation? What does Dudley do for a living? What is the occupation of Bobby? What does Woody do as a job? Where does Woody convince his friend to ride to? What causes Woody to become bankrupt? Who does Dudley fall in love with? What is Dudley tied to after confronting jack? Who tells the Del Fuegos to leave town? Who does Blade say Jack takes after? What type of business did Maggie own? Where did the Wild Hogs live and begin their journey from? Who fell in love on the road trip? What was the name of the town that the Wild Hogs ended up in after running out of gas? How did Woody prevent the Del Fuegos from chasing him? What caused the Del Fuegos bar to explode? Why did Red & Murdiock not fight with Bobby after Bobby threw beer, mustard and ketchup on their clothes? Why did the Del fuegos listen to Damien Blade? How were Jack and Damien related? Why did Dudley end up in a side car on Woody's bike?
Ohio Cinncinati
Posers posers
Woody Woody
Del Fuegos Del Fuegos
Damien Blade Damien Blade
Red & Murdoch Red and Murdock
Dudley Dudley
It was an insurance scam it was an insurance scam
California California.
A dentist Dentist
Computer programing Computer programmer.
A plumber plumber
A lawyer He's a lawyer
California California
The devorse of he's wife His wifeleaves him
Maggie Maggie
A tree a tree
Blade Blade,the founder of the Del Fuegos.
His mother his mother
A diner. a bar
A Cincinnati suburb. Cincinnati 
Dudley Frank. Dudley
Madrid, New Mexico. Madrid
Woody cut the fuel lines on their motorcycles. he cut their fuel lines
Jack drops a lit cigarette in the gas from the cut fuel lines. a lit cigarette hitting fuel 
Jack told Red & Murdock not to hurt the Hogs until he got there. Red and Murdiock gave them two upper cuts, which left them unable to respond.
Blade founded the bike group. He's the founder, and Jack's father
Damien was Jack's father. Father and son.
The Del Fuego's did a bogus deal that cheated Dudley by forcing him to trade his new bike for an old broken bike that didn't run. The Del Fuegos took his bike