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As I understand it works like this. By the time Japanese kids enter first
grade they have more or less decent vocabulary of words they know. So when
kanjis are taught I can't even imagine how to tell in Japanese that, for
example, 女 means "woman"(おんな) and has a kun-reading おんな, since meaning and
reading is the same word. 「女」漢字は意味が「おんな」です。くん読みが「おんな」だ。Something like this? It
looks like only readings are taught and kids kind of figure out the key
meaning on their own, based on the vocabulary they possess.

Note that I'm self-taught in Japanese and though I use JLPT N3 materials, I
can mess up in basic things.

Another example. When person wants to explain using what kanji to write
his/her name how do they explain that? How to identify exact kanji if one
reading links to numerous characters?

In English I rely a lot on using key meaning to identify the kanji, but what
exact wording do I use in Japanese?

Hope you can help me out. Thanks.
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kanji meaning homophonic-kanji
Japanese don't learn kanji meaning only readings? Does it make sense for a kanji to have a key meaning to identify it?
In English and most other languages, words as part of spoken language and
words as part of written language are in a 1-to-1 mapping. In Japanese, 漢字 are
just a means for expression, and so there exist both many-to-1 (e.g. こんじつ &
きょう -> 今日) and 1-to-many (e.g. みる -> 見る, 観る, 看る, ...) mappings.

To describe what 漢字 you have in mind, you usually give more readings for
character of your word, usually in the form

  * 訓読み (e.g. 観る) _plus_
  * 音読み (e.g. 観察のかん)

but nobody _talks_ about 訓読み and 音読み, you just give a word containing the
extra reading. Knowing that the character you're after for the word みる is both
read み(る) and かん (and appears in the word かんさつ!), you usually know which
character is meant. (Someone once tried used this method with 方法のほう, which is
_not_ how it works.)

You might also describe the 漢字 in radicals, but this is usually done for 漢字
both close in meaning and close in writing, in particular for different
versions of the same character, like 斎 vs. 斉 vs. 齋 vs. 齊 (from the different
versions of the surname さいとう).

Also see my answer on this post: [What is the role of 空書 (writing kanji in the
air) in modern Japanese?](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/7038/)
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To answer your second question --  
When I'm talking on the phone and want to say how to write someone's name or
address in kanji, I often say like:

>   1. 「[京子]{きょうこ}」の「きょう」は、「[京都]{きょうと}」の「[京]{きょう}」です。
>   2. 「[明日香]{あすか}」の「あす」は、「[明日]{あした}」で、「[香]{か}」は、「[香]{かおり}」です。
>   3. 「[聡]{さとし}」は、[耳偏]{みみへん}に「[公園]{こうえん}」の「[公]{こう}」と「[心]{こころ}」です。（or
> 「[聡明]{そうめい}」の「[聡]{そう}」です。）
>   4. 「[本陣町]{ほんじんちょう}」は、「ブック」の「[本]{ほん}」と、こざと[偏]{へん}に「[車]{くるま}」（or
> 「[陣内孝則]{じんないたかのり}さん」の「[陣]{じん}」）で、「[町]{まち}」です。
>
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