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Were I in a situation where I want to get the attention of a waitress in a
noisy restaurant, I kind of feel like calling-out:
"お姉{ねえ}さん、すみませんが、ビールもう一本お願いできますか？". I think that I've seen this done in a
movie, as well as seen native speakers do this in front of me (but only at a
bar where everyone was pretty drunk).

However, I think I've been told that addressing a waitress, or waiter, as
お姉さん, or お兄{にい}さん, is impolite. Is this correct?

Addressing a waitress as お嬢{じょう}さん is off the charts impolite, right?

Say that I am at a beer garden and want to get the attention of one of the
waitresses by saying お姉さん, what would be an appropriate substitute? Is just
not addressing her at all the only way?
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2014-07-21T02:11:40.237
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word-choice politeness
How impolite is it to call a waitress お姉{ねえ}さん?
I wouldn't do that. It's true that some people use お姉さん, but you'll be taking
unnecessary risk. For a example, some older women might get offended for being
called that way, and some younger women might get offended, too! It's like
calling somebody "Hi _young_ woman!".

Of course some people will like it. If you say お姉さん to an 大｛おお｝阪｛さか｝のおばちゃん,
you might get that beer for free :) That will also constitute a kind of joke.
But unless you are using it for this effect, I would stay clear.

> Addressing a waitress as お嬢{じょう}さん is off the charts impolite, right?

You have to be very old for this to be ok, like > 65. I.e. you have to be
classified as おじいさん/おばあさん. Even then the other person must be very young, like
< 25.

If the other person is _really_ young (like < 8) then it's ok for a non-
おじいさん/おばあさん to use it. However it will sound very old fashioned.
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Until a few decades ago, we used to hear guests call waitresses “お姉ちゃん” or
“お姉さん.” But we don’t see or hear someone calling a waitress by the term,
“お姉ちゃん” or “お姉さん” today. We address waitresses in restaurant mostly raising a
hand, and by saying “すみません ‐ Excuse me” or sometimes “ちょっと、済みません - Pardon a
moment” instead of calling them “お姉ちゃん / お姉さん,” which is regarded as rude.
おばさん is out of question.

Same thing applies to the addressing word to female staff in sales / service
establishments in China, where we used to address them by 小姐‐ xiao jie,
equivalent to “お姉さん” 20 years ago. I heard it’s rarely used today, and “服務員！-
service staff” or ”對不起 - Excuse me” are used instead.
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