Can someone highlight the similarities and differences between all terms that
have a meaning of "can't help but …" ?

Examples:

> 詐欺{さぎ}にあった気{き}がし **てならない** 。  
>  I can't help but feel it was a scam.
>
> 彼{かれ}の生{お}い立{た}ちを聞{き}いたら、同情{どうじょう}せ **ずにはいられない** 。  
>  Hearing his story, I can't help but feel sympathy for him.
>
> 自分{じぶん}の子供{こども}のことを心配{しんぱい} **でたまらない** 。  
>  I can't help but worry about my own kids.
>
> 彼{かれ}の辛{つら}い状況{じょうきょう}を見{み}て助{たす}け **ないではいられない** 。  
>  Seeing his suffering, I can't help but feel like helping.
CC BY-SA 4.0
2018-12-31T15:42:15.473
64666
2019-01-03T06:24:51.583
2018-12-31T18:22:51.393
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7694
question
grammar
How to choose between ずにはいられない・てならない・ざるを得ない・てたまらない when saying "Can't help but..."
* **～てならない** : This is usually used with 気がして, 思われて, 考えられて, or sometimes negative feelings such as 腹が立って, 恐ろしくて, かわいそうで. It means "cannot help feeling ～" or "some emotion/feeling spontaneously occurs to me".
  * **～てたまらない** : たまらない on its own means "unbearable", so this explicitly describes how the said feeling is troubling you. 恐ろしくてならない and 恐ろしくてたまらない are interchangeable, but the latter sounds you are very afraid.
  * **～ないではいられない** , **～ずにはいられない** : These tend to sound more proactive and emphatic. 助けないではいられない usually means you do want to help someone, not reluctantly nor passively. As compared to passive ～と思われてならない, ～と思わないではいられない is usually a way to emphasize your way of thinking is correct. In other words, 思われてならない is closer to "I kind of feel ～", whereas 思わないではいられない is closer to "I must say ～". The difference between ない and ず is very small in this case.
CC BY-SA 4.0
2019-01-03T06:24:51.583
64694
2019-01-03T06:24:51.583
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64666
answer