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I always feel like I have an identity crisis when I try to say "I" in
Japanese.

After reading so much about differences between the various pronouns I've
gotten the impression that whatever one you use defines your perceived
identity. But is your pronoun choice really that significant?

I get hung up on 俺｛おれ｝ vs 僕｛ぼく｝. I understand them as: the first being
"cooler" and more assertive and the second being a safer option and more
humble

But does which one you pick really define your image that much? Or does the
way you talk in general matter more, like picking 食｛く｝う over 食｛た｝べる

I don't know exactly what I'm asking, I guess I'm just trying to get a feel
for how things are in real life vs how I understand it online. Like if you
picked a pronoun that really doesn't suit you would people just subconsciously
feel kinda weird when they heard you use it or would they consciously think
"uhh, what the heck?"
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2021-01-10T08:10:51.323
83572
2021-01-10T21:27:01.110
30841
question
pronouns first-person-pronouns
How much "weight" do personal pronouns have?
I am sure later a native Japanese speaker will give you a better answer, but
let me toss in my 二百円 first. It just so happens I have 二百円 to spare today.

So this is the rule of thumb I go by: when I need to be polite, for example,
in online communication on a forum/site like SE, or with someone I have just
met, I use 僕 and make sure to err on the side of caution with 敬語. But when I
talk to people with whom I am on informal terms, I use 俺. When I write/talk
politely but quote myself or explain my thoughts, I use 俺 also. In really
formal or professional settings, I stick with 私. I am pretty sure if I went
タメ口 and 呼び捨て, going full 俺, with people I don't know well, I'd be thought of
as 馴れ馴れしい which is usually not a good thing in a Japanese context.

But here is the thing, what comes with choosing a personal pronoun in Japanese
is a personality, one that is accrued and all-encompassing. It is not like
there are only a handful of personalities on the shelf and you can assume a
whole set of personality simply by choosing a personal pronoun. It is not that
easy. No, it is not like the beginning of a fantasy game where you are asked
to pick a class: mage, warrior, cleric, etc. Your outward personality, your
キャラ, is determined by any number of things: not just your first person pronoun
choice, not just your idiolect, but the way you talk and interact with people,
the way you do things, the way you make jokes and react to them, the way you
act at work/school, and so on and so forth.

It is interesting you should mention identity crisis, because your identity is
not only determined by the pronoun you use, but also by a lot of other
factors. One of them is the fact that you are a non-Japanese, non-native
speaker. People may treat you more politely because of that. And you will be
allowed more latitude in your use of the language. So even if your pick of the
first person pronoun is intended for a certain effect or personality, it might
not always come across as intended.
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2021-01-10T09:15:03.667
83573
2021-01-10T21:27:01.110
2021-01-10T21:27:01.110
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answer