In my Japanese class we were taught that one does not need to thank a cashier
when they check you out or a server when they bring you your meal, but I
always feel awkward remaining silent. Was my sensei wrong? Specifically:

  * What is the usual exchange between customer and cashier when paying for an item?
  * What is the usual exchange when a waiter brings you your food?
  * When leaving a restaurant, is it appropriate to say ごちそうさまでした? 美味しかったです? ありがとうございました?
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2011-06-03T03:10:19.730
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set-phrases politeness culture
Is it proper to thank waitstaff, cashiers, etc. for their service?
I don't think it is necessary to thank them. I do though out of the habit from
america. However, I have heard stories that in Osaka you do thank the
waitstaff and cashiers.

I've seen Gochisou used more as an indicator to the staff that you are done
with your meal and ready to pay, though that is just an observation. I haven't
heard Oshikatta or arigatou used as often though. Though this may be a
difference if you are eating at the counter or at a sushi bar.
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2011-06-03T03:21:43.003
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For first two, you can say ども, but not ありがとう because you don't have to thanks
them, since you are using their service, and you are customer.

And you can use ごちそうさまでした / 美味しかったです at restaurant if you wish to, and may be
just whisper those if you don't want other people looking at you for some
reasons.
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2011-06-03T03:33:44.337
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The thing to keep in mind is that this isn't a ritualized situation, such as
the `只今{ただいま}/お帰{かえ}り`, "I'm back" / "welcome back", call and response
pattern. When you come and go from the office or home, there are set patterns.
This restaurant situation isn't like that.

Specific to your questions, there is no usual exchange between customer and
cashier when paying for an item, or when a waiter brings you your food. Most
Japanese I observe seem almost as if they don't acknowledge the existence of
the staff and say nothing. However, some kind of nod or word would be
perfectly acceptable if you wanted to do it.

On the way out, there is nothing at all wrong with thanking wait staff at
restaurants. The worst that can happen is that they think you're a little
unnecessarily polite, and that ain't a bad thing, is it? The words just mean
what the words mean, and you can use them as you see fit, in order to
represent yourself as you would prefer. Let's look at the implications:

As pointed out, you do not have to say `ありがとう` as you are a customer paying
for a service. But you could, and it won't even raise eyebrows. You could say
`どうも`. It's not inappropriate, but it is casual. Imagine, in English, at a
restaurant saying, "hey, thanks man!" to the waiter as you leave. Does it fit
the environment? You make the call.

Another one not mentioned so far that you'll often hear at casual restaurants,
particularly at `回転寿司{かいてんずし}`, rotating sushi places, is `お愛想{あいそう}` or
`お愛想{あいそ}` which are both ways of saying "[bill
please](http://dictionary.goo.ne.jp/leaf/je2/7404/m0u/%E3%81%8A/)".

`美味{おい}しかった`, "that was delicious", isn't a statement of gratitude for the
service, it's a comment on the food. Say it if you actually think the food was
good. What restaurant doesn't want to hear that the food was delicious?

Lastly, you can just take care of proceedings by asking for the bill by
calling out `お会計下{かいけいくだ}さい`, "bill please", or `お勘定下{かんじょうくだ}さい`, "check
please", or variants (you could drop the `お` and/or the `ください`) , without
saying any kind of gratitude statement. Just keep it about the business, and
no one will mind.

* * *

_**My bonus cultural observation:_** The Japanese concept of service is that
it's not about the people. The person working at a store or restaurant becomes
entirely a representative of that place while on duty, and they check their
individual personality at the door. So for the customer, the staff does not
merit personal interaction the way other people do.

To a non-Japanese mind, it seems a little harsh, as in other cultures, like
mine, we tend to think about the person doing the job. I tend to sympathize
with the guy doing the minimum wage job. However, in Japanese culture, it's
not an attempt to be superior to the service staff, it's an acknowledgement
that the service staff are also not necessarily personally invested in the
job.

In some ways, there is a certain liberation in the concept, because the staff
can also detach themselves from the job so as not to take issues personally.

Hope that helps.
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2011-07-16T08:54:53.230
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Japanese here. I find it fine to say ありがとう for the first two, although どうも is
more common. Not saying anything is perfectly acceptable. You can also nod,
which is very common.

When you leave the restaurant, it is common to say ごちそうさまで～す or ごちそうさまでした. If
you are female, ごちそうさまでした would be more common. It is perfectly ok to leave
without saying anything. Nodding is very common as well.

It is true that in Kansai area (particularly in Osaka) and also in rural areas
people tend to say something, compared to Tokyo for example.
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2011-07-16T09:29:50.037
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2012-07-05T03:34:12.317
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* What is the usual exchange between customer and cashier when paying for an item?

I always start with お早うございます、こんにちは or お晩です (Tôhoku-dialect), and finish with
あざ〜います。 With some kombini clerks, I add some comments on the weather. In
return, they are nice(r) to me, and every one is happy.

  * What is the usual exchange when a waiter brings you your food?

Well, I'd often ask for her age/number/mail… More seriously, I just say
something like "はい、ど〜も〜". But I tend to enjoy interacting with the staff. Last
time, I ordered "your favourite". And when he came with the order, I said "I
hope you have good taste, or I'll complain!" and everyone laughed. I consider
those jobs as very tiring, so I try to make it agreable for them too. (oh, I
should mention that letting them choose the order is not being very nice here;
rather an embarassing situation I reckon.)

  * When leaving a restaurant, is it appropriate to say ごちそうさまでした? 美味しかったです? ありがとうございました?

I always yell my "ごちそうさまでした". I wouldn't say 美味しかったです unless I had something
incredibly delicious (so, I never say it). I wouldn't thank them either, since
I already did the gochisou part. I expect them to thank me in return.
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2011-07-18T10:14:14.517
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