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1. What's the difference between 言わないでほしい and 言ってほしくない ?

  2. If the intended message is "I don't want you to say it" which of the two above would be more suitable?
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2011-08-13T23:23:22.347
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2011-12-29T05:57:55.983
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grammar conjugations て-form negation
What's the difference between 言わないでほしい and 言ってほしくない
This is a question of whether the predicate presupposes the excluded middle.
In principle, there should be three possibilities:

>   1. I want [the proposition] to happen  
>
>   2. I want [the proposition] to not happen  
>
>   3. I do not have particular preference for whether [the proposition] to
> happen or not
>

When the three possibilities exist, the sentence negation of 1 should mean
either 2 or 3. When there is a presupposition that 3 is excluded from the
possibilities, then the negation of 1 would mean 2, which is the negation of
the proposition. In that case, negating 1 is usually preferred over using 2.
WIth English `think`, there is such presupposition, so the negation of the
counterpart to 1:

> I do not think that he will say it

means the same as

> × I think that he will not say it

and the former is considered the correct form. With English `want`, it may be
debatable. My intuition with Japanese `ほしい` is that, both forms are correct,
and that there is no such presupposition, which means that `言ってほしくない` leaves
the possibility of 3 but `言わないでほしい` does not.
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2011-08-13T23:57:41.853
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I can think of one situation where you use 言わないでほしい instead of 言ってほしくない, when
you use the phrase as a request:

> Please don't tell anyone about this matter.  
>  ○ このことを誰にも言わないでほしい。  
>  ？ このことを誰にも言ってほしくない。

The first sentence above is a common way to say "please don't" and is parallel
to 「言わないでください」 while if the second sentence is used as a request it would
sound indirect like "I don't want this told to anyone." It sounds like a
statement but you can imagine what's being implied if it is said straight on
your face.
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2011-08-13T23:58:46.187
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You can use these sentences in two ways. One is to use it as in "I don't want
you to say x (literary)". Another is to use it as in "I resent what you
already said".

So, what's the difference? In the first case, 言わないでほしい is an explicit request.
言ってほしくない merely states that you _don't want_ the other guy to tell anybody,
and the request is only implied. As a consequence, the latter is softer, as it
would be in English.

In the second case, 言わないでほしい focuses on the fact that _you_ don't like to hear
x. Hence it is possible to use this expression when you think the speaker is
saying something legitimate, but _you_ just don't want to be told that for
personal reason etc.

For example, you may say わかってるから言わないで when you are told something that you
know you can't defend, but nevertheless want the other person to stop saying
it. [Here](http://wizco.jp/president/2011/03/post-646.html) is an example of
this usage. The author doesn't disapprove the motivation itself, but he is
explaining that one should not say 頑張って. Note however that you _can_ use
言わないでほしい to express disapproval/disagreement. It's just that you can also use
it when you don't want to.

言ってほしくない is much less suitable in this situation because it implies that you
believe the speaker is saying something unjustifiable in your opinion. For
example, if you'd say わかってるから言ってほしくない, the listener will sense a frustration
or disagreement, and that he/she doesn't really mean わかってる. More natural use
of 言ってほしくない can be seen
[here](http://iwama.books.officelive.com/watakushi03.aspx). The author uses
言ってほしくない because he pretty much disapproves the word ヤバイ itself.
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2011-08-14T07:08:20.903
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