I am generally familiar with the usage of こそあど words, however I wanted to
verify which would be best to use in a store when asking you want to purchase
something.

I assume if you are pointing at a menu, you would use "これください", but if you are
pointing to something a few meters away (like something behind the counter)
you would use "それください".

My main question is whether it would be appropriate to use "あれください" in a
restaurant? I know that あれ can have a strong connotation and wanted to see if
it is safe to use, or if I should stick to これ or それ.
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2016-06-24T17:21:15.960
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word-choice kosoado
これ・それ・あれ when referring to products in a store
これ、それ、あれ are demonstrative pronouns that simply indicate the object in
association with its physical distance. The English counterparts to これ、それ、あれ
are "this (one right here)", "it (just there)" and "that (over there)."

In both Japanese and English, you wouldn't say "あれ下さい / Give me that" by
pointing roast beef shown on the menubook in your hand with your forefinger.
You wouldn't say "これ見せてください / Show me this" by pointing at a pair of shoes
displayed on the shelf far behind the counter.

It's simple and crystal clear. There's no room for giving you an improper
answer. Just watch and listen to how three-year-old children say. They
wouldn't confuse usages of これ、それ、あれ. Nothing is complicated as you think.
Forget about "こそあど," which even most Japanese don't understand. Don't
overthink and get confused unnecessarily.

If you step into "derivative" uses of これ、それ、あれ, you'll be strayed. For
example;

あいつには"これ"がいるんでね - He has a love.

彼女はあいつの"れこ"(reverse of これ)だ. - She is his love.

家の"あれ"が煩いんだ - My wife is fussy and nitpicky.

あれかい？ - Do you mean that (thing, object, subject)?

あれ、それ、何つーたっけか - Well, whatchamacallit.

あれから3か月 － Three months after then.

I can spin out endlessly. But all of these are different beasts from original
and proper これ、それ、あれ. Forget about it.
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2016-06-25T02:32:08.707
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これ is used for something close to the speaker.  
それ is used for something close to the listener.  
あれ is used for something far from both the speaker and the listener.  

So if you want to point to something that is far away from you and the
listener, you HAVE to use あれ.
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2016-10-08T18:27:11.477
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(Basically copying comment)

It is considered that it's quite alright to use あれ for something far away from
both the speaker and the listener, for example...

In a restaurant when you're ordering some dish in the photo on the wall far
from you and the waitress, you might say:

> すいません、（あそこに貼ってある） あれ 、ひとつ（ください/お願いします/もらえますか etc.）。

or when you want something that another customer is eating, you might say:

> すいません、あそこのお客さんが食べてる、 あれと同じもの（お願いします/欲しいんですけど）。

or in a store when you can't reach an item on a high shelf, you might say:

> すいません、 あれ 、ちょっと見せてもらえますか。
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2016-12-11T11:19:38.840
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Provided that:

  * you are referring to something exists in your range of view, not your memory
  * you are talking to the store's staff, who is not your acquaintance

* * *

You can use...

これ when:

  * the item is in your hand, directly under the tip of your finger, or nearly no distance; or
  * you point at an item that is clearly nearer to you than to the hearer; or
  * you point at the one nearest to you while there are several options in topic

それ when:

  * you point at an item that can be perceived from both you and the hearer, and the distance from you and them are roughly the same or nearer to them; or
  * the item is in the hearer's hand, or they already point at it; or
  * the item is just mentioned by other than you in the range both you and the hearer could perceive

あれ when:

  * you point at an item so far away, or in the direction requires hearer to move their eyes or body to trace what you refer to

If the item meets multiple conditions, I think either of them will work.
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2016-12-27T15:31:10.667
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To be honest, I've spent multiple years in Japan and never used or heard
anyone else use あれ. But in theory, yes, you can use あれ in your suggested
context, or at least I know of no reason why not.
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2016-12-27T15:44:42.013
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