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For the longest time, I thought 素直 meant "honest" (because my dicitionary gave
it as one of several meanings). Now I've also seen the meaning "docile". and
now I'm totally confused. Eg. in the sentence

素直になればいい

Are you meant to become more honest (to whom)? Or more obedient (to
whom/what)? Does it depend on the context?

Is it possible my confusion stems from the fact that we would express these
things completely differently in English?
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2018-04-17T07:17:47.547
57979
2019-04-22T06:49:07.377
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meaning words
How to understand 素直
素直 has a few subtle uses. If someone is describing another person as "sunao",
they could mean honest, I suppose, but it might more accurately be described
as "being honest to oneself" ... in other words, to be accepting of some fact,
(as opposed to being argumentative about it, which is where the sense of being
"docile" fits in with the various uses of the word) In anime where I've heard
it used, it's generally someone asking another person to accept their
situation with grace. That ties in with obedience if the situation is that of
a subordinate to a superior. If you're arguing with your higher-ups, you are
definitely not "素直"

Common phrases that include 素直:

sunao na hanashi: a frank, honest discussion

sunao na hito: a mild-mannered/calm/open-minded/frank person (depends on
context)

sunao ni naru: calm down/be honest (with yourself)/give in
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2018-04-17T07:56:27.983
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## Short answer

素直 is the state of "keeping it real".

## Explanation

The way I perceive it, 素直 implies thinking or actions are pure in that there's
no hidden, often self-serving motivation. In other words, "keep it real".

My version of @ericfromabeno 's examples:

素直になる: "keep it real with oneself", "be honest with oneself", "admit that
one's perceived sense of entitlement is different from reality"

素直な人: Someone whose thinking or actions don't hide anything, especially
selfish motivations. Someone who "keeps it real".

素直な話: conversation where all sides are open and there isn't any unspoken
selfish motivation. Conversation where all sides "keep it real" with each
other.
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I have always understood sunao as being honest, open, dropping your pride, ego
and just being honest with and about yourself and what you feel, which seems
to fit most situations it is used. Having feelings for someone and not telling
them, harbouring resentment and such things are not sunao. I see 素直に話を聞いて
differently from some explanations (obedience etc); to me it means “Listen
with an open heart, put aside all of your fears, pride, worries, resentments
and ego, and listen. It’s not about who is right, put all that aside and just
hear me out.” For me, Sunao struck a nerve because when I learned the word I
realized that most of my life I had not been sunao in so many important
situations. I guess a counterpoint is hikyou; if you are being hikyou then you
are not being sunao. That might be a distraction. When I became sunao in
relationships it helped me a lot. Isn’t it interesting how the Japanese have
been misunderstood as dispassionate and stifled, when they have this terrific
vocabulary for emotional and mental states (think of all the 擬態語for feelings).
I have a suspicion that the Western influence, new rationalised mentality and
industrialisation since Meiji has created these internal conflicts for the
Japanese. They want to be sunao but they cannot tell their boss, teacher or
parent what they think because of the new industrial hierarchy, so they feel
stress, guilt, depression and despair as they give in to society’s demands. A
movie that I think illustrates sunao in relationships is Hula.
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