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In case I am talking with someone using the informal form but we are not close
friends yet (perhaps a close acquaintance or someone I'm chatting with online)
and I want to ask him a personal question (what is his occupation, something
about his family ,etc.), should I proceed with the informal form or should I
switch to polite (or even honorific) language to ask him the question?
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2018-12-03T12:40:20.307
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formality conversational
Question about switching formality in a conversation
It's not that uncommon to be talking simultaneously to two or more people
using different levels of familiarity/politeness, but for the same person,
using the same level throughout a conversation is the norm.

Switching between levels of formality/humility in the same conversation with
the same person is just not necessary. Even if the kinds of things you wish to
talk about change from "general" to "personal", whatever form of speech the
two of you began with, you can continue with. That said, if you choose to
switch to using the polite "masu" form of verbs rather than the root form, I
don't think that's bad. Your conversation partner might misunderstand and
think that you suddenly feel less comfortable with them, but I doubt any real
conflicts will occur.

I have always had a problem with "keigo". I get easily confused by humble vs
polite vs honorific speech... though I have been told over and over that as a
foreigner, it is fine to simply use the polite form with everyone all the
time, until you consider them to be close friends (and as long as you are
outside of work... at work always use polite speech... a rule I break far too
often, but get away with because my schools are very kind....)

There have been times when I switch back and forth between levels of
politeness, and as a foreigner these are either ignored as "he just doesn't
know" situations, or it gets a small laugh or a humorous comment.

doing a google search for "when to use keigo" might lead you to useful
websites.
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2018-12-03T13:18:07.787
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This heavily depends on your character, your age, the relationship between you
and him, and how personal the information you're trying to get is. In general,
using honorific forms is probably an overkill, but temporarily switching to
the です/ます style will not harm.

Personally, I am relatively slow to start dropping です/ます, and I am unlikely to
talk with someone using the informal language if I don't even know his
occupation.
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2018-12-04T05:45:52.630
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How formal/polite you are (or should be) depends on the nature of your
relationship. If they’re older, in a more senior position, or you don’t know
them very well, you use some degree of formality. This should not change
during the course of a conversation.

Mixing formal and plain forms is clumsy, although it will be forgiven for non-
native speakers unless you’re in a position where you should really know
better (such as working in a Japanese company). It’s best to be consistent and
use the same forms throughout a conversation (or letter or email) if you can.
If you are a non-native speaker, it is unlikely that you'll be a situation
where you are expected to use honorifics or 敬語. Using the polite ます forms
should be acceptable with friends or acquaintances.

If this is someone you meet regularly, you should use the same level of
politeness for an entire meeting. If you are unsure if it’s appropriate, it’s
probably best to keep with polite forms and let them initiate if they want to
speak as peers or friends. In Japanese culture, it’s not uncommon to maintain
formalities with friends, rather than switching to a “first name basis”. This
does not mean they don’t regard you as a friend, they may reserve using plain
language for people they’re really close with such as family and childhood
friends.

If you are learning Japanese and they’re a friend of yours they should be
willing to help you if you ask them nicely. It would be better to ask what
they’re comfortable with rather than assuming as it depends a lot on how they
view your relationship (and how familiar they are with foreign customs). Some
will feel obliged to use formal speech when speaking Japanese which is why
they may prefer to speak English since they can speak “more freely” without
worrying about politeness or hierarchy.

If it’s a friend, you can reciprocate if they drop formalities but I’d wait
for them to do so first (or ask them). If it’s a colleague, your boss, or
someone older than you, it’s more complicated: they may also use plain forms
as you’re their “subordinate” and they’ll still expect you to use polite forms
with them. Since many Japanese people meet their friends through the
workplace, it can be confusing since they’ll speak differently when talking as
friends or coworkers.
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