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This passage of the movie, Kotonoha No Niwa:  

> 鳴る神の  
>  少し響みてさし曇り  
>  雨も降らぬか  
>  きみを留めむ  
>

Several sites translate as:

> A faint clap of thunder,  
>  clouded skies.  
>  Perhaps rain will come.  
>  If so, will you stay here with me?  
>

And, the translation I see:

> Thunder echoes weak.  
>  Amid the cloudy (sky).  
>  The rain will fall?  
>  You'll remain here (?) (my certainty in that sentence is close to 0%).  
>

I don't trust a lot in my translation, but I place less trust in texts found
online. Could anyone tell me which one is more correct and why?  
Or, if both are completely wrong, how I can properly translate this passage?
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-09-25T14:38:34.160
28258
2016-02-15T11:44:03.167
2016-02-15T08:10:21.070
9831
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question
translation classical-japanese
Translating 鳴神の少し響みてさし曇り... etc
Let's modernize it first.

> かみなりが 少し響いて 空に雲がさして曇り 雨でも降らないか… 君を留めよう.
>
> I wonder if thunder echoes weak, cloud interferes with the sky and rain or
> something falls. (Then,) I'll keep you here.
CC BY-SA 3.0
2015-09-26T09:40:50.247
28285
2016-02-15T11:44:03.167
2020-06-17T08:18:27.500
-1
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answer