‘Yes Darling’ and the ‘Manicou Man’
‘Yes Darling’ and the ‘Manicou Man’ . By Johnny Coomansingh In his article titled: Of Mice, Men and Manning posted in the Kaieteur News (2010), Tony Deyal sought to explain the label Manicou Man: “I assume that we all have a general idea of what a ‘man’ is although sometimes we expect too much, but not many people outside of Trinidad seem […]
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Caribbean News Global
By Johnny Coomansingh

In his article titled: Of Mice, Men and Manning posted in the Kaieteur News (2010), Tony Deyal sought to explain the label Manicou Man:

“I assume that we all have a general idea of what a ‘man’ is although sometimes we expect too much, but not many people outside of Trinidad seem to know what a ‘manicou’ is and, worse, what constitutes a ‘manicou-man.’ The word ‘manicou’ means ‘opossum.’ The word opossum comes from the Native American word for ‘white dog’… a manicou-man is someone who is timid, plays ‘possum’ or dead when confronted with problems, and generally does not assert himself in any way.”

“Yes Darling and the ‘Manicou Man: a Description of Masculine Labels Embedded in the Oral Traditions of Trinidadian Society” was the title of my research paper presented at a conference organized by the Sir Arthur Lewis Institute of Social and Economic Studies (SALISES), University of the West Indies (UWI), Cavehill, Barbados.

After I presented the paper, a young woman who was supposedly doing her master’s degree in sociology boldly stated that she would prefer to have a ‘Manicou Man’ as her mate or husband. She ‘argued’ that with this type of man she would have little trouble in her marriage. Professor Godfrey St. Bernard, who is presently the Assistant Director of SALISES, was in attendance. He interjected by stating: “That could be the real problem that we are facing here in the Caribbean.”

The reason why the young woman wanted a Manicou Man could have stemmed from the male marginalization theory where men are peripheral to the family. The familial roles of men are perceived as being limited to providing economic support and occasional discipline, yet men are commonly seen to be inadequate even in these limited roles.

Similarly, my research was not far from Tony Deyal’s description of a manicou. Probably a Taino (Carib/Arawak) derivative, the term manicou is the name assigned to the opossum (Didelphis marsupialis insularis) found in Trinidad. According to legend, the manicou has the unique habit of biting into things with the attendant refusal to release its grip. Probably used as a defense mechanism, the animal also emits a putrid stench when provoked.

The ‘not letting go’ syndrome treated as a negative trait, connotes that some people tend to hold on to things that are not worth the effort. Known also as le puant (French-The Stinker), the manicou is a marsupial, which means that it carries its young in a pocket or pouch and sometimes on its back. In the past, this carrying of the young has certain negative connotations in Trinidadian society. The carrying of the young in Trinidad is more or less gender-biased and appears to be a job created specifically for women.

Nevertheless, the research pointed out that in many societies, some women will go to any length in their efforts to capture, ensnare, or win a husband or a male companion. The same is probably true for the male of the species. In Trinidadian society there is no exception. The nature of such efforts by women is probably the norm in most cultures due probably to the patriarchal normative social construction of the culture. Moreover, some interesting cultural traits involving male/female interactions are worth noting in this multi-ethnic, multi-religious, polyrhythmic state.

There are a few select activities in which some Trinidadian women engage to acquire their husbands, significant others, or boyfriends. In the oral traditions of Trinidad and Tobago, there are allegations that substances are added to foods to catch men. As one calypsonian asked: “What yuh put in the sweetbread Lilian?”

To a lesser degree, the trend is almost the same for Trinidadian men. However, what is of prime importance in this short script are the ways in which some Trinidadian men metamorphose or are somewhat ‘tamed’ over time when engaged in heterosexual relationships and the descriptive names attached to such men over time. The use of Sweat Rice apparently is used for the taming process. No one really knows whether there is any truth in these oral traditions concerning items added to foods.

Sweat Rice refers to cooked rice infused with the sweat drippings from the genitalia of a naked woman standing over a pot of steaming rice. Miriam Kotzin, professor of English at Drexel University, who visited Trinidad, in her poetry alludes that Sweat Rice is a magic spell. She gives in poetic verse, a description of Trinidadian Sweat Rice in the following line:

“…and my desire as I squat naked over the rice, thinking of you while the rising steam trails insubstantial plumes, warm as I know your breath would be.”

The taming of men might be true for other societies, but in this case, the information is concerned primarily with Trinidad. As a result of the ‘taming,’ they (the men) receive certain labels. ‘Manicou Man’ is the broad umbrella under which all these labels fall.

Trinidadians use the phrase “yes darling” as pertaining to a syndrome affecting men who possess the tendency to symbolically ‘put their tail between their legs’ in the presence of their wives or significant others. The tuned ears of Trinidadians also react to the term Manicou Man, as a collective referent about men who are emotionally broken, weak and/or defenseless with regard to their relations with the opposite sex. In comparison, the terms hen-pecked, P-whipped, and browbeaten men are referents used for some men of a similar nature in certain sectors of the United States of America.

Based on over 40 years of personal observation, and being a Trinidadian by birth, I literally lived in the country for 42 years. During this period, I garnered first-hand knowledge about Trinidadian lifestyles inclusive of the language idioms. Certain venues and occasions in Trinidad provide sources of rich and potent data. The delivery of locally concocted jokes and ol’ talk (loose talk, jocular overtones, garrulous nonsense) are particularly prevalent in the society.

These venues and occasions include wakes, wedding receptions, talk tents (places of entertainment where adult jokes are told for a fee), calypso tents (places where calypsos are sung for a fee), auto repair garages, rum shops (bars and pubs), oilfield drilling crews, beach and river limes (lime from limey–a British sailor, is the term used in place of “hang-out” or “shoot-the-breeze”), bus excursions, cricket and football matches, fetes (parties), and village card games, especially All Fours matches between rival groups. The annual televised Prime Minister’s Best Village Competition also contributes a fair share of satire and innuendo in village portrayals of male/female relations in their folksongs, poetry, plays, and skits.

To mention a few, Caribbean authors such as Derek Walcott, Vidia S. Naipaul, Samuel Selvon, Earl Lovelace, Gordon Rohlehr, and Rhoda Reddock also capture scenarios involving ol’ talk among Trinidadians.

Coupled with the authors, calypsonians such as Francisco Slinger (Mighty Sparrow), Aldwyn Roberts (Lord Kitchener), Leroy Calliste (Black Stalin), and Winston Bailey (Mighty Shadow), Daniel Brown (Trinidad Rio) and Sylvester Anthony (Mighty Zandolie) also present some interesting overtures concerning male/female relationships in various scenarios.

All these sources serve to engender the continuance of the oral traditions of Trinidad, especially those concerned with male/female relationships. Trinidadian blague (Trinidadian colloquialism which means, among other things: calypso lyrics, liming talk, street corner talk, loose talk, slack talk or ol’ talk) from close friends, relatives, and daily and weekly newspapers (including locally drawn cartoons) published in Trinidad also provide pertinent information. Used in the construction of the names given to such men are the several language idioms that exist on the Trinidadian landscape.

Some men tend to shy away from attending to the children lest they be labeled as manicou men. The entire social scenario as depicted clearly delineates the prevalence of symbolic meanings of the images that men can have in the social setting of Trinidad. Moreover, these social images, which are more or less the reflections of social constructions, form part of the argument.

For post-structuralist social scientists, this may reflect ‘deconstruction’ of the images, since power plays a crucial role in these constructions. Power in this regard relates to the ideology of the ‘who is the boss’ and ‘who wearing the pants’ syndrome. To visualize the bigger picture, this leads us to question the socialization of children in Trinidad.

The seniors, for example, the godmothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, have been highly instrumental in shaping the perceptions of the social environment. Interestingly, the majority of children undergo part of their socialization from these individuals, which involve the oral traditions via storytelling, oral histories, poetry, folk songs, and to a large extent, calypso lyrics. It is quite normal for children to visit their godmothers and/or grandparents on weekends, summer vacations, and the Christmas season.

Oftentimes, children would hear mutterings among the adults such as “Wuh she gih he tuh rub, he eat,” meaning that the woman in question has full control, or power over her man; the man constantly dotes over her. In other words, the woman has managed to extract ‘social power’ from the encounter.

Infused in the trend projected in the statement is the act of cunnilingus. In other words, the man becomes helpless, tootoolbay and dotish (Trinidadian colloquialisms which mean: altogether stupid, senseless, bewildered, ‘bewitched,’ and confused) because of his engagement in the act of cunnilingus with a particular woman, especially the one who wants to ‘capture’ him. This description once more confirms the real meaning of manliness as expected by society.

The man, if too attached emotionally and/or physically with his desired woman, is considered powerless or weak, and as such, incapable of capturing social space to prove his manliness. The existence of binary opposition further enforces patriarchal social construction in the society… and so, to avoid conflict, “Yes darling” becomes his chosen words and the making of a Manicou man.

A future discourse will describe the various types of Manicou Men. Nonetheless, here is a list of the more common labels or names created about how some men are referenced when it is known that they are subject to full or partial control of their wives or common law spouses in terms of the language traditions: Doods Man, Manicou Man, Macumere Man, Mamapoule Man, Behbehman, Doddoy, Panty Man, and Cunumunu. Note that several of these words were created or concocted from languages present or were once present on the landscape. In the case of the Behbehman, it is easier to see one than to describe such a person.

However, three labels in particular, Macho Man, Saga Boy and Sweet Man stand out above all others as having a more dominant role over women. It is a well-known fact that women in Trinidad are attracted to and/or revere such men. They may propagate the qualities of such men in their sons as being extremely desirable.

In some subcultures in Trinidad, it is clear that parents, especially Hindus and Muslims, give more attention, support, and freedoms to their sons. In other words, most women in Trinidad desperately want such men. However, there is no escaping the presence of Manicou Men in the society. Such men may not audibly mention the term “yes darling” but silently swallow the words while they do the bidding of their significant other.
Santa Lucía
Caribbean News And Beyond
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2024-11-07
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By Johnny Coomansingh In his article titled: Of Mice, Men and Manning posted in the Kaieteur News (2010), Tony Deyal sought to explain the label Manicou Man: “I assume that we all have a general idea of what a ‘man’ is although sometimes we expect too much, but not many people outside of Trinidad seem […]
The post ‘Yes Darling’ and the ‘Manicou Man’ appeared first on Caribbean News Global.
‘Yes Darling’ and the ‘Manicou Man’