 You send a note to your kids, an actual handwritten thing. You and I are on the same wavelength. Yeah, you write a note. You say, okay, here's the deal. If you help your mother slash grandmother slash great aunt or whatever, or at least you communicate with me, then I know you care about me, and I'll care enough about you in return to possibly leave you something. There are no guarantees in life. If you don't, that just tells me you don't care, and therefore that will go to someone who cares more.