 make him unfeeling make him like hard and all this stuff and he's just like i always hold on to that sweet part of myself and then he talks about also the people around him that help him maintain that and support that part of him and i love that because you know obviously number one i really believe in that so much and that we all need to hold on to that and be able to hold on to that but also because i think it directly contradicts the image that one wants to paint of somebody on death row