 uh if i'm not producing i'm i feel like i'm i'm failing so okay and i think it goes back to even you know just my childhood work work and hard work was the was kind of a measure of success and i i want to i guess i want to be different with my with my girls i want to i've got two grown kids and i i see that and i'm already the drivenness and uh how does this tie into the boat how does this tie into the boat