 focused on you projecting a big image on the wall to get the other person to go hmm and back off and that's a way to keep your vulnerability from being evidenced by what's going on in the moment so that's what a shadow monster is and many times we do that we want to look big and scary so that they don't know how vulnerable we feel inside the hedgehog is when we just want to curl up in a little ball and have our pricklies out there and just basically wanted to hide and and you know that