 That sounds easy, I said, but how do you do it? How do you go from being angry about her, from blaming her, or for that matter, from blaming yourself? I have a picture in my mind, he said, of a man who's walking down a dusty rural road. He trips on a stone and falls face first into the dirt. Then he reaches over to the side of the road, grabs a stick, and begins to beat himself over the head with a stick, yelling at himself about how stupid he was to trip and fall. Between these comments, he's cursing the stone for being there and blaming it for tripping him.