 the law doesn't allow it and so you need an attorney to tell you how life works and how the law works because apparently neither one of you you or him know that and um that'll give you some peace because you'll know hey i got you know we're going to sell the house and there's you know five hundred thousand dollars worth of equity and i'm going to get 250 000 out of that and oh he's got 150 000 is 401k i get 75 of that oh he's got this we've got that i get half of that