 Because I met him. Do I really know him? No. Growing up in a culture where you just don't go out with somebody you don't know, right? That was the time then. People were meeting, chat rooms, online dating. So I carried that guilt with me that it was my fault. For a long time, it took me a long time to really process that it wasn't my fault. It was done to me. I didn't ask for it, but I carried that. So drugs were the only thing that I was...