 event over here in some other state which i could have easily done and so i had to tell someone no will tell the right people now you know i'm not gonna tell my daughter no so consequently i was there for every problem because you need to be there to threaten the young man that is taking your daughter out and so it worked it worked worked perfectly so um you know but i'm saying you're always going to have to in my case i had to learn to say no and not feel guilty