 well it can be very very similar it's a great question because a lot of times if you have a fear of commitment and you might not know why but let's say you've got a date planned uh with your spouse or with your girlfriend or boyfriend whoever it is or with just a friend it could be a platonic relationship and the self-sabotage would be oh i forgot i forgot we were supposed to get together or um you know oh something came up and i i can't do it so