 uh stonewalling why are you so cold right stonewalling so so criticism and contempt of the first two of the four horsemen the third one is stonewalling which is shutting down this happens when i get flooded i get overwhelmed i don't know what to do so i just shut down when i get flooded you know i just i get overwhelmed you know and and uh and i i then i drop into fight or flight and i don't want to get into a big fight with you now and so i'm just going to get out of here