 got to the point where we've almost forgotten that so i think you know we have to look at the way that we're socializing boys both for their sake and for the sake of women and girls now this book is both very personal you talk about parenting your own three boys but it's also very deeply researched you talk to mental health experts a lot of writers and very crucially you make sure to talk to a lot of boys and young men they're here they're in their own words why was that so important to you