 The shame goes to my very core, in a way that Andrew can't relate to. I told him about how, even today, when I remember something embarrassing I said or did years ago, I'll still say out loud to myself, because it's such a reflex of this per- at this point, of like, oh, I hate myself, I should kill myself. Like, like, I verbalize that. You still say that? Yeah, you act surprised. Have you ever done this? Have you ever said- no, no.