 She added the words like forgotten items on a grocery store list. Oh, I almost forgot. I need the tomatoes, the onions to make the stew, and the pain and the hurt is an integral ingredient of life, especially when mistakes change and the hope for something better is involved. Mama was giving me the best advice she could give. I knew that it was as persuasive as she would get. She knew love was blind, and she would never try to convince me to do something that I was not ready to do.