 I would at least have kind of closed that subject for myself, you know, and I wouldn't be in this terrible flip-flopping state. So it was absolutely just worth it from a personal point of view to undertake that, to answer that question or to take on that question. And I found myself, you know, in a position that I kind of described at the beginning of the book, so at the beginning of the essay. And weirdly, I have to explain how I ended up