 it didn't take us as long to kind of move forward once we were willing to commit ourselves to the lord and we saw him making these changes that we couldn't make in ourselves but a couple may be listening that it's you know many years of a real difficult situation unforgiveness maybe it's even infidelity or it's a problem with pornography or whatever the case is it's time and if it's gone on for too long that secret sin you know that change behavior is going to require more time for the other person to trust