 that moment you know i don't ever want to feel like this again yeah and to change our generation that comes after us that's the more noble step once you get past the fear you're like okay we're gonna change the family tree yeah we never want our kids to experience that right the fear motivated us but then also i mean we're both christians and so once we began getting on that that path like it wasn't easy it felt like spiritual warfare at times like things kept on coming up coming up coming up but we realized like