 Crack cocaine in the end would become the love of his life, he said. He was arrested, and this time with no help from anyone and no bona fides to pile up. Even his family thought he'd be safer in prison than out. And that was when he dropped to his knees. So often in life this happens to so many of us. He drops to his knees and asks God, well, actually he gives God an ultimatum. If you're real, have someone kill me.