 Obviously, he doesn't show. He turns tail and runs away, screaming about how it's unfair, and he's treated so horribly. Everyone's out to get him. A wambulance is dispatched to pick him. This is what passes for a column at USA Today. This is embarrassing. This is the kind of crap that you would read in a high school newspaper, where you don't actually have an argument, so you just make fun of the person.