 All right, listen up, maggots, because I've got something to say that you need to hear. It's for every man 18 through 25. You want to live in my United States? Then you've got to register with Selective Service. Fact is, you must register before you can qualify for student loans, most federal jobs, or job training. So go online at sss.gov or go to any post office. Wait a minute. You did it already? Outstanding! You've earned my respect. Hoorah!