 um and so i think it's a matter of saying okay here's i'm going to change i'm going to change the way i i'm living inside this marriage will you join me and yeah that's a control alt delete oh it's a big one but then now the onus is on him to really show a different person going forward and i have different habits we're accountable for our habits so i'm excited for them i can't wait for them to call in and see how it goes with them this is the ramsey show cool