 is an art form so it's a good question absolutely well it's boundaries right there and you know henry cloud or the best-selling book on that and he's a friend of ours and that's a hard thing to do especially when you're younger and i'm like him i'm a people pleaser so the one thing i want to do is just go yes absolutely i'm in and when i was getting out of debt or whenever i had a goal i had to say no to a lot but you'll find that the right friends stick around through that yeah i mean it's not like you never do anything number one and number two it's just um