 f financial infidelity right those are the times that you seek counsel and then from there the e is you need to evaluate your options what is it is it me having to separate funds for him in order to keep myself and family safe for a while until you know the right counseling has taken place and we've seen evidence of change is that i've got to get myself in a safe environment if there's some sort of abuse so it sounds like you've already started implementing that but i don't know about the counseling that's the one thing i haven't seen here and that's going to be paramount for you guys if there's ever even a chance