 Accepting your reality. This is what it is, and you can either continue on being miserable and denying the past, or you have to figure out some way to embrace it and make that your purpose. You know what I mean? I realized that my purpose wasn't in the Google search that I was trying to find where I was qualified. My purpose was already in me, and I had to figure out how to bring it out to help other people. Might I say you have a rather inspiring story.