 i did i did and that's why this is an awful lot of work to say that we're that we still aren't ready to get married yeah so here's what i think you called to ask and i'm sorry but i'm duty bound to love you well i i love your advice i think i i think you guys this is what this is bringing up is you need what the old teenagers used to call in the 80s a defined relationship that's what i was thinking i think we need to decide what we is