 the key is is to try to communicate the only thing you can do to help improve it is really try to plan ahead and communicate about it beforehand and so it doesn't sneak up on you but you know denial happens the people yeah tom becky went way beyond years they planted the seed to get them closer they really have but you know we all have free will and we all can be stubborn and i get it and so you want your parents to be happy but you also want to be safe