 so there's a uh it's interesting scripture talks about loving your enemy as you love yourself and people kind of you know look over that and don't understand that you have to love yourself and know yourself not be egotistical not be narcissistic but you have to uh you have to love yourself before you can love others there's a lot of things going on here more than we can we can tackle but i would tell you the basic steps are to reverse the ones that you've taken to get there