 An open letter to the youth of America. Dear youth, I'm writing this letter with a heavy hand. There are great troubles in this glorious land that us old people once died to save. And I feel that today's young need to listen to the raspy voice of today's old. Us old people are the ones who built the toll roads and the condominiums, you know. We invented the electric pencil sharpener and the disposable stove. We're oldies but goodies. After all, who founded this great land but old people?