 I already had that. And then to escape that, you know, it would give me an escape from that. But then the things I did or the things I would say or the way I would treat people, it just confirmed the way that I'd felt as a kid. You know, it was just like, you are bad. There is something wrong with you. And then I would carry on trying to escape it in that way, but it would just keep getting worse and...