 Nishtahin nishtahar in Yiddish means neither here nor there. And it's a feeling I think I've carried with me my whole life, right? Even now, right? I don't belong in my old world, but I'm an anomaly in my new one. I'm always going to be a nishtahin nishtahar, you know? Julia spent over three decades in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, a community that avoids the secular world and follows traditions deeply rooted in the past.