 In the decade after protease inhibitors came out, that contrast between breezy tourists and thin AIDS patients out on a town bench started to diminish. Things were calming down. But for those who made it through, it was complicated. And the survivor's guilt, I think it was probably, for me, one of the toughest parts that I dealt with inwardly that I didn't talk about a lot. Because how can you talk about the fact that you survived? How can you not be happy for that?