 nothing wrong in the moment with the fact that she was alone and depressed and having these ruminations and I was feeling resentment and what if all that was going on and then we're still just going to have a nice conversation and over time what I noticed was I wouldn't say like it was they were the funnest conversations I ever had but they became much less aversive we would just kind of have small talk and chat and communicate that we still you know felt connected and loved each other