 And some had even said, I'm going to be healed. But I didn't know that. I wanted to believe that. But what I was looking at in the mirror was contradictory to what they were saying. And so it was hard to believe, but I kept standing on that. But I will tell you this. I've always asked God if I ever went through something horrific, would I be like Job's wife and say, just curse God and die? Or would I die with my faith intact? And I was grateful that...