 uh, you know, I want to have a, have this life that's not on, on tour all the time. And that's not defined by the band. And that is, you know, largely had been defined by the band or being like a doctor on call waiting for the band. And when I decided I was going to commit to sort of like building out a life and learning how to have a job and all those things was really, really hard. And I did spend so much time trying to just feel stable and,