 thoughts aside and I was like okay Kyler just wants the best for me he wants the best for us and if I can put that aside and really see like why his why on it and his why was just to set us up better financially then it was like a no-brainer at that point so just kind of get all the outside voices out whether that be yours or like people who think your other spouse your spouse is crazy just get it out the door and look at because truly it's going to come from a place of like