 I reminded myself of like a sort of person on the watch or something, like I couldn't sleep. I was just protecting, looking out for danger. So now I see that and I've made peace with who I was. But of course, I didn't have any sense of humour. I couldn't laugh. I couldn't think freely. If I see pictures back at that time, I'm just dead behind the eyes. You know, you could think something else was there. Which brings us back