 i just couldn't i couldn't find my place in it and i couldn't find kind of a sense of self in it and so that lyric kind of had come to me just randomly in the studio you know i always i spent 25 years of my life praying and asking for forgiveness and asking for guidance and then feeling like i wasn't hearing anything and that was really hard for me and once i accepted that i didn't need to do that my life became a lot simpler