 sickness and health and richer and poorer and stuff like that that's what we took our vows for I don't remember that part but you know I mean I was a little nervous so but my point is is that I don't know what I'm supposed to do what I'm not supposed to do how I'm going to get him to talk do you have any words of wisdom for that because I don't want to share my accounts with him if he's going to continue to pull out money and use it on whatever he's using it for because it ain't coming here