 Happening and part of you just wants to laugh and go. Can you just not like can you just not have these feelings? Can you just be normal? You know, why are you ruining this precious time for everybody? You were kind of conscious that you were? Definitely paranoid. Definitely. I had a strong insight the entire time. I remember just thinking okay Something's not right here. And I remember just you know in the mirror just seeing Something in my eyes that just wasn't me and I remember thinking. Oh great. Here we go. You're mad. I