 this really horrible experience that you've had and uh really dave i feel like there's some depression going on here but it's just really hard to read in a lot to what's really going on is this a classic case of if i do what i love i must make less i don't know it's hard to say i know what you're talking about we get that from people who said well you know i just kind of want to do this thing because i always throw the work life balance crap in there too right right