 And if you already can't say what you need or what you want out loud, it's going to be tough sledding. This has nothing to do with her. You want to put this on like it's just a good idea. All couples should do this. You need to be able to look your future wife in the eye and say, this is really important to me. The second thing is if she is a person who cannot hear outside counsel or wisdom, which all of us need.