 once i finally had enough time to myself and time to reflect on everything and also time to actually be back out in the world a little bit here and there and have to try to face everybody every one of them which would say you know we're sorry about what happened to you we don't believe any of it and i just i realized that there's no way i was going to be able to get through life like this i couldn't this wasn't a story that was going to go away like i it wasn't like this was a lie that