 that's fair and so it's hard to um it's hard to talk to your parents unless they invite you into the conversation um and that would usually say something like hey dad mom i've been doing this stuff and you talk about you a lot and you talk about some of the dumb things you've done and some of the dumb things you stopped doing and the good results that you had and then mom or dad says something like wow that'd be good i wish i could do that can i show you please can i show you yeah