 I don't have to feel guilty about being happy and living in the things I do because I know my son would want me to be happy. There are so many gold stars that when they lose their loved one, especially if they lost their loved one to suicide, they live with that guilt and that anguish and they never move forward and they're stuck. And when you get that stuck and that depressed, it can manifest physically as illness in your body, that type of stuff.