 but I want you to be happy and you've got a career and it matters to you. And I said, you know, I really, I told this in the book, I wanted to go to New York because I always dreamed of living there and I loved New York and I was excited with the energy and I wanted to get my master's in nursing. I was really, but then I went in and I listened to my inner knowingness and New York got really heavy. And I just, I said to him, I think we have to go to Holland right now