 and just she just needs to tell him that that's what i would do if it was my family but she doesn't need to say my husband and i have talked about this she's got to bear the emotional brunt of this because it's the only person he can hear it from and come back to later if you get saddled with the blame for this you're just going to be the evil evil son-in-law everything was okay till you came along and you don't understand how it is in our family