 young lady and if people see you always picking up the tab at dinner and you drive in a car that you don't owe any money on and you just bought a nice house that you put 50% down on like this story they begin to ask that question what are you doing differently it's the same in our church circles we always tell people no one's ever started following Jesus because they lost an argument they just see that man that guy's got more light and joy in his life I want to learn about that so you mean hateful