 there are these moments for me that it'll just catch me by surprise and I'll be like the tears start and I'm not a crybaby at all I hate crying in front of other people I think Ann and I we had a guest from Hannah's Heart we went out to lunch with and Peppers I started talking and it hit me and I was like oh I'm not prepared for this but it's that thing I think that goes back to what you said earlier this really was a life and culture