 And I think that made me even lonelier because I was not handling it right. And Blaine told me at one point, he's like, you know, I lost a baby too. Like, you're not in this alone. And that's when I was like, okay, yeah, I need to go through this with him and not push him away. Oh, man. So angry at God. Break that down for me because you said I was angry at God. I think God used this whole situation to...