 I knew where I was. I knew that tension was not supposed to be there every moment of every day. And I wasn't even wanting to do His will unless it was good for me. I didn't mind Him dealing with the consequences of my sins, but I didn't want Him to come near my heart. And it was sort of like I was in my heart under house arrest. I mean, I was in the house of salvation, I guess, but I was arrested. I was stunted.