 sickness and health and richer and poorer and stuff like that that's what we took our vows for i don't remember that part but you know i mean i was a little nervous so but my point is is that i don't know what i'm supposed to do what i'm not supposed to do how i'm going to get him to talk do you have any words of wisdom for that because i don't want to share my accounts with him if he's going to continue to pull out money and use it on whatever he's using it for because it ain't coming here