 then you're not really totally surrendered to me, he says. Our family can be a boat where we use this as an excuse. Sometimes folks will say this. Well, I love the church down there, but my spouse doesn't want to come there. They don't like this or don't like that or don't like this. That's a boat that a person's stuck in. You see, there's got to be a willingness to talk those things through and make that decision as a family.