 and the student fails to tell their new fiancee or the student four years later doesn't get a job dad go you remember that time you said you were going to pay this loan and they go now i didn't yeah that's what happened we hear that all the time don't we well that or the student didn't pay and the parents like well i guess i have to pay it and then they're frustrated i mean like it's just it ends up being this like tangled mess relationally uh but whose responsibility once it comes due whoever promised to pay it morally