 before you seek to be understood. You'll have plenty of time to give your opinion about whatever it is. But get curious about what your spouse is saying, right? And if they're saying something that you haven't thought about, I mean, the mindset needs to be, wait a minute, I married a pretty intelligent person. And if she's saying something that I haven't thought about, maybe I need to find out what she's thinking about because I might be missing something here, right? So, you know, and so listen,