 and but do you just kind of you know how do you juxtapose both and then the argument for a lot of the other catholic couples who are not practicing says you know what we stopped at three because i don't we don't want any more not because of anything blah blah blah but my uh argument was that you have to be open to life and procreation no matter what and the gift you're right if you sleep the consequences of sleeping together you're going to have a baby