 and uh i not making much money and didn't know much but i was mentored by a kindly old man who was about a year out of retirement always happy go lucky just can't couldn't wait for retirement and then the crash of 87 which meant nothing to me in 87 but now i'm almost a retirement i get it he was just it was almost i felt like i was 1930 and he was going to commit that suicide i felt like was there anything he could have done or is that just the risk of