 how we can use suffering for the benefit of the church and the whole world yeah and that's what he said towards the end he said i realized i could do more for the church through my suffering than through any encyclical that i could write and so he knew the suffering of families and so when my wife and i we got to go to uh rome when we had a son john paul our first uh he has developmental delays as well and you know very similar in terms of the speech and all that and uh