 where if you are that bulwark, if you are that obstacle, if you do deal with the conflict right up front and let it be known in a nice, gracious, charitable way that you don't favor this match and you actively oppose it, well, it could be that your daughter will be thanking you, maybe tearfully hugging your neck and tearfully thanking you. Mom and dad, I'm so glad you did that because she'll be married to the right guy.