 I've been one of the highest-paid sportswriters in the East for the past 14 years, and we saved $8.50 in pennies. I'm never home. I gamble, I burn cigar holes in the furniture, drink like a fish, and lie to her every chance I get. And for our 10th wedding anniversary, I took her to see the New York Rangers-Detroit Red Wings hockey game where she got hit with a puck. And I still can't understand why she left me.