 to hear his daughter right so so that's the question is why would the daughter stop speaking to him right right and uh you could probably speak to that as a daughter why would you ever stop speaking to your father but it's probably just out of frustration i've been talking and talking and you're not listening you're not changing me you're not hearing me so i'm done and i'm just shutting down because i'm tired of beating my head against the wall right and so i think you know for this call i mean the first step is to just