 fertility have you guys discussed that in private i was saying i'm not the police i'm the pastor so the church is not a police officer the church is a shepherd a mother a very a mother not a mother-in-law and she loves you and your baptism so we kind of get to get there and i think sadly enough sometimes one person's really devout and they're in love with a person that is not and has no understanding of jesus or the church and so that can be difficult they have they both bring their own histories into the relationship right as we all do and everything