 and it only converts into a sin when you willingly say yes to it and you have to again you have to know okay i know this is wrong i'm being tempted to do something like despair of god's love and his mercy and i know that god loves me i mean he died on the cross for you and this might be a help laura every time you feel that sense of despair look at a crucifix keep one with you or in your purse maybe you can get a little one at a catholic goods store