 period so we better fix this problem and if both of you have that mindset that divorce isn't an option we're stuck with each other for the next you know 30 40 50 years let's figure out how to do this thing well well you're going to figure it out you're going to fix it and you're going to be happily married but if one of you is like well you know what if you irritate me too much i'm just going to pack my bag and leave well eventually that might happen okay