 For a long time, I wish I didn't have a body, that I was a floating consciousness, freed from the shame and guilt of the flesh. It's been seven years since I left Christianity, but the effects are still there. These mental grooves are so well-worn at this point, it's basically instinct. Where does my f***ed-upness come from? Well, I think I can trace all of this back to my dad at the Oklahoma City airport.