 exactly as you said now we have a this model of the fight that we can carry with us wherever we go and that's what happens in real life someone says something at work and then your body kind of calms down but then driving home you think about it again and the body reacts and then you go home and you tell your your loved one about it and so now it's happened again and then you call you know your friend and you say do you know what this person said to me and it happens again and again and again so we are like inflicting the fight over and over again even though it was only like two or three minutes of our day