 so when we have an experience in the past that is a positive experience in the past and we hang on to it either wanting it again exactly the same way knowing that we can't have it again for whatever circumstance we are just going to be saddened by that you know i had this experience i had this relationship i had this thing i had this opportunity i had this job i just wish i had it i don't have it well you can't and you won't it's done