 So that's what forgiveness is. It's a choice. It's letting go of anger and resentment. It's treating the offender with compassion. It's an act of the will, overcoming the emotions, and it's an indication of holiness. What forgiveness isn't. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. You can forgive without reconciling, but you cannot reconcile without forgiveness. So if reconciliation is something that you want to do with your spouse, it has to start with forgiveness.