 Um, actually throughout the book, um, out of the shadows, I talk about that burden that I feel like I've become and that the dark place that it puts me in. And that all started, you know, when, um, I became pregnant, I felt like a burden and, and throughout, you know, the paternity suit and all these, all these other things I express and I pour all my emotions into it. And, and yes, it seems like, you know, that that's what I've become. And then, and then my child and, and it's hard, it's heartbreaking, um,