 um and if you can't afford to or you're not interested in that you need to have that conversation with your kids but bringing them into a financial relationship that they can't pull their full weight on that you want to kind of pull their weight but hey dad we're grown-ups now but yeah but i'm paying for this house it's just gonna make everything so messy man but you do what you want i mean you love your kids and you're a grown-up you can do what you want that we're just telling you what we would do in our situation and what we've seen and what we see day in and day out and day in and day out