 We had been attending this church, but at that point I had turned my back on my faith. Because again, the death of my first child, I really turned my back on a lot of things, including my faith. Because here we were, my wife and I had never taken drugs or alcohol, never smoked, yet our first child died and we knew people, related to people who had taken drugs and alcohol and had helped each other. And I just thought the irony was too great. There's no such thing as a God. So I was just filled with that negativity, that fear.