 It wasn't the right kind of attention I needed. But at that time, I just soaked it up because I was so desperate for male bonding. And I was also in an environment where I was no longer being bullied and assaulted. And I felt safe. And, yes, it felt good for the first two or three years. But within about a three-year period, I was so depressed and suicidal. I was battling drugs and alcohol. I had a sex addiction. I had turned to prostitution. I eventually attempted suicide.