 obey how can i trust him as a husband and choose and choosing to trust him and now lead as a result a wife choosing to trust god now submit as a result not not not because somebody else has said it but because god has spoken and if not if that's not what makes it valuable i don't know what would as we're talking kind of up here at this level about communication you've expressed in the book that you see an element of grace or that communication itself is a grace yeah unpack that a little bit for us