 and just get them to that point now your child is going to act out either with words girls will do it a lot of times with words and boys will do it with behavior they'll kick things that's very typical so maybe it's hey go run around the block a few times and then come back here and talk to me you know it could be something like that but let's get to that point where we say i'm angry because and you can tell me if your kid's yelling at you