 that I did not want the life I was being required to lead. The idea was that all the children of the little girls, they would all become nuns, and the little boys would become, you know, monks, just the way our parents and all the others were. And it was not what I wanted. That being said, I didn't deliberately try to get myself kicked out, but I started having crushes on boys. And that was, of course, not what was wanted.