 If you find one, you find the other. Kids don't operate that way. In fact, I have caught my kids in the act. The other day, I observed my four-year-old, because I have wondered this for years, and finally I said, I'm going to figure out what the hell is going on. So we came home, and I silently observed my four-year-old. I was like a zoologist in the wild, hiding behind a bush, watching a bird get eaten by a snake or whatever. But in this case, I was observing and studying my own child. And I watched him take one shoe off,