 or perhaps they lie or cheat and think their partner should forgive and forget. I am Dr. Ellen Kenner, clinical psychologist and co-author with Dr. Edwin Locke of the romance guidebook, The Selfish Path to Romance. Provocative title? I know. By selfish, we mean the self-valuing, self-nurturing way to romance. You never want to lose yourself in a relationship. You want to create a win-win partnership to value your own and each other's goals and dreams.