 So you've checked your own finances and decided you are not in any position to be giving anyone money. How do you say no? Or maybe it's more like, how do you say no, but I still care about you? Takeaway three is, if the answer is no, offer other ways to help. There's no sugarcoating that this is going to suck. If someone is coming to you asking for money, it is probably not their first option. They're probably in a bad situation and don't see any other way out.