 So I fell to the ground in my kitchen and I was sitting there and I started praying. And I said, God, if you're real, I need you to show me because everything I know about love is twisted and perverted. It's not right and not the way that I was told it should be. And I was confused. So the next day or so, I made a list, pros and cons, why I should stay with him. I had to think.