 You know, I mean, it's so apparent to me now. It wasn't apparent to me when I wrote Half a Life, and it certainly wasn't apparent to me when I was 17. You know, I was craving to know what it was like to be loved by an older man. I mean, my father was... I mean, now I can say he was autistic because now we look at these behavioral things and be able to classify them. But in those days, he was just distant and insane.