 Six months later, the government declared martial law and gave the yogurt supreme executive power. Other nations, worse off than we were, quickly followed. Okay then, the yogurt said in its globally televised address to humanity, and one of its factory workers, absurdly happy and well-fed, walked forward and showed a document the size of an old Manhattan phone book. Here's what we do. Follow this plan exactly. If you don't, sorry, we'll have to shoot you.