 This is why you deep fry things. Where I came from, texture was a problem, but if you deep fry it, it's all a little crunchy, and you dip it in ketchup, you're good. Ketchup or ranch. I know you're not a ranch guy. I believe most vegetables are just transportation vehicles for ranch dressing. I believe that that's what they were put on this earth to do, is to move ranch into my mouth and have a vegetable behind it. That explains...