 ourselves or these parents say did you have a fulfilling sports career and the parent might say no I tore my ACL you know and I never got to go all the way that I wanted to or I never my parents couldn't afford to put me in sports or something like that and so the parent is projecting their own personal goals onto the game and onto their child and so if you find that you are almost frantic towards your child's extracurriculars and their development their grades or this or that