 that we practice with people during the day. There's one formal lecture every night. And even though my mind had opened to trying, keeping Deepa Ma's words in my heart, I was still incredibly scared. And I was scared not only of looking stupid and being a failure and not being up to it, but I was incredibly scared of public speaking. So Joseph, for 30 nights, had to give a talk. And I would sit literally cowering in the back.