 the whole machine moved and he was just right back at the seat with me and it kept going and there was a lot of tension right before that so to see that and to see the kindness that he would give in in in those directions and the confidence made me want that said oh you can be at that level and be that kind and giving I guess the image in my head of an artist is always like demanding and screaming and yelling and and that from the rest of my life affected me