 Nishtahin nishtahair in Yiddish means neither here nor there. And it's a feeling I think I've carried with me my whole life, right? Even now, right? I don't belong in my old world, but I'm an anomaly in my new one. I'm always going to be a nishtahin nishtahair, you know? Julia spent over three decades in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. They avoid contact with the secular world and strictly follow rules from the past, where women have to cover their knees and elbows and are expected to produce children, one after the other.