 why am I feeling this way and what can I do about it to move forward? Because ultimately what happens is you spiral downward and you teach yourself how to treat yourself. And pretty, pretty soon those patterns of behavior have developed and you're thinking things that you wouldn't have thought five years ago, 10 years ago. And all of a sudden you find yourself in that rut and you keep on going downward and down. And then you begin to act out in negative ways. And that's where you've got to, you're catching it,