 dark comedy at times and would joke with people that what was I Attila the Hun in a former life or what's the deal here and um and and you you do get fixated on feeling like a level of unfairness that's certainly something that I had to struggle for a while with with my daughter and everything that happened to her is her just feeling like you know why is she singled out for all these hard moments um there's no easy answer other than to keep going forward and and recognize that