 and I'd always have these board games stacked up in a pile, and I'd have the food that my friends were going to eat lined up and ready to go, and everyone had to act a certain way and smile. But when my Indian friends came over, it was more rough and messy, and it wasn't perfect. But I didn't want that. I wanted to be like the girls in school with their chips, and I wanted to be like the girl in the TV show. I didn't want rough, edged, and messy.