 But I think she I think she believed both right and so I had I mean I I like to write but I hadn't written a book like this before obviously, but when when Neva first fell ill I just almost spontaneously started writing these shorter pieces and blog posts effectively that were away from me to process it and kind of get some thoughts out and then discovered that You know, they helped some other folks who were going through hard things. We heard from people we'd never met and