 that level of balance in my own sense of it in that moment. Um, but I know what you're referring to. I mean, that that's part of that part of the book where I described that moment with Neva. And in time I came to, I came to think that, right. Is that that's, that's that same more positive lens on control is that we really, we aren't responsible for everything. We don't control everything. And there can be, there can be mercy and peace in that as well. How did your friends take care of you?