 hurt there's a lot of times throughout the book you know like i i contemplated suicide at that time in my life i knew that you know i wasn't gonna do that as long as i was pregnant but um you know i there's there's a chapter throughout the book that was really really tough for me to write and without my co-authors i don't think i would have gotten through it because it was you know i talk about how i become the scandal and it's possible you know hunter had invested his trust in me and i let him down because i became pregnant