 is not whether or not we say nice things about each other. I don't care about civility particularly. I care about effective disagreement, which is to say, you want this, I want that, let's make a deal. Let's figure out how to do it. If they call each other duty heads while they do it, I don't really care. It'd be nice if they didn't call each other duty heads while they did it. But the thing is, the rhetoric masks