 I remember my first day of kindergarten, I went to the wrong class. I remember two things in kindergarten. One is I mooned to school at a soccer game for some reason, and my mom promptly beat my ass, which is why I remember it. And number two, I split graham crackers with this girl named Melissa. That's all I remember from kindergarten. Oh, wow. Look at you, you dirty dog. Oh, yeah, you got to start him young. I really, like, I'm so self-conscious of this, like,