 uh is a thing yeah and to ann's you know i mean i applaud her and so many people that it's not always the american way to like take care of your family other cultures do this really well but it's that you know there has to be a lot of boundaries in place and you want to do it wisely but you also want to honor your you want to help your parents right i mean if something is going down it's like gosh and they don't have anything she's living on social security working part-time