 eventually just be like how's your day and it'd be like it was fine like we weren't rewarding attention into the the story about the past but we weren't trying to prevent it and and so we just started to get on with our lives together um yeah to the point now where yeah she'll have good days and bad days but we still talk quite frequently and it just feels like normal which is something i was desperately trying to achieve um and sort of uh ironically um failing to do when i was trying to play therapist