 it was a more radical way of being with her in the moment which is like you could be anyone today and i'm gonna let you be anyone today uh and that means you might be fine today so just call it and just really just listen like how is she doing and not reward the rumination or buy into the blame story but at the same time not engage in this kind of therapeutic delving and more try to model you know what what a healthy interaction might be like which is just telling her i love her i care for her telling her a bit about my day