 in january and it's a little it's it's one of these things i mean so many people you know you've lost a parent that they've been through this i've never been through this before and it's this weird thing where it's actually harder for me to deal with it like initially it was like okay i'm glad he's with the lord uh... it you know he he he it was his time it was the lord's timing he's with jesus right so that so but then time passes time passes so now it's been you know uh... months and now