 one thing that you can try is to say hey um you know dad that some of the things that you're saying i i have felt that too you know we we've been worried about the future for ourselves and i found this plan you know it's called financial peace university we've started working it and it's working for us it's a lot of work but it's helping us you know i'll send i'll send you a copy of it and maybe you do it like that um as opposed to because you're not here's the thing you can't save them