 okay they're not going to want to do it but you need to do it and early on i learned the tendency in that instance is to give them a lot of space and to be like deferential and well you know but what i learned is what the person will do in that they'll take advantage of that okay if you don't feel that strongly about it they don't want to do it in the first place so they damn sure aren't going to do it if you're looking like you're not that committed to the idea