 what's the reaction mentally I mean first play of the game and you've done all this to get back to this point like okay I actually feel better and now it's like it's right back where we were yeah I think in your in your head you have some thoughts that I probably shouldn't say um but you know when you're in the football game when you're in the moment um I always feel like there's nothing that can happen to me that can take me off the football field so um if I'm able to stand up