 What it's important to recognize is that for some of the birth parents, for the kids we've cared for, my wife and I and foster parents in general might be seen as the bad guy. Because those birth parents might not want to recognize the choices they've made in their life. They might not want to acknowledge the fact that they've made poor choices. Maybe they are still suffering from their own pain. Maybe they're still suffering from their own anxiety and trauma. Trauma and anxiety that they don't know how to process because they've never got the help they needed.