 You went through many years on the job, all the toll that that takes, and then you had the catastrophic incident where your young partner, just fresh out of the academy, was killed in a car accident. And in the meantime, you're starting to disintegrate, you're starting to fall apart, and your marriage is falling apart as well. And then, before we went to break, you talked about wanting to die by suicide. Was it a quick decision, or was it something that's calculated?