 i hear often dr john i can't do what you do it would hurt too much to give the kids back and my response every time is that's exactly how it's supposed to be it's exactly how it's supposed to be these kids these kids that are placed in their homes as foster parents they need yes they need the consistency and they need the structure and stability but what they need more than anything else is for someone to love them with all their heart give them that unconditional love