 you know, so, you know, you see the ripple effect of, of some of this stuff and, and the responsibility of both the parent and others who interact in an uncharitable way may, may have, um, how do you speak to somebody who's either had a bad experience or whose child is not baptized? How do you speak to that family member who still has yet to be baptized in a way that convinced them that this is really the thing they need to do? Well, I think first you apologize, uh,