 Or things like, you know, how many times do I have to tell you that shirt does not go with those pants? You look like a clown. Ouch, I don't like looking like a clown. Even if I want to, I don't like doing it. So I'm not a big fan of dressing up on Halloween because that's not my thing. So criticism and contempt show up, you know, when you are saying or doing things that are hurting my heart. When I'm not feeling well-loved,