 my nerves are, you've hurt me, you've kind of, you know, pricked my heart a little bit, right? So the solution to have these, to not avoid the conflict, but to wade into it, but in a gentle way. We call it gentle startups, a Gottman invention. I call it having a gentle conversation. There's three parts to it, and you have to do all three parts, and you have to do it in the right order. The first sentence is, I feel.