 When General Robert E. Lee surrendered his army, Lincoln sent an unexpected message to the enemy commander. Tell your men they may keep their horses. They'll need them for plowing, said the president. Then this. Tell your men they may keep their rifles. They'll need them for hunting. When Lee read those words, he wept. For each of us, there is a time for toughness and a time for tenderness, a time for resolve and a time for compassion. An iron will is not the same as an iron spirit.