 the our approach to suffering is something we receive through revelation by being christian so the more we come to know the bible the more we understand this the more we understand our faith the more we grasp the idea of redemptive suffering so if you can help your friends to see that this is not how the scriptures speak about suffering it's not how our lord speaks about it or the saints or the church and to see instead that that god is uh he doesn't punish us in that way punishment of god is only when we separate ourselves from him